Sent an email out in work informing everyone that we had pushed updates out to all Windows PC's.

Got the following phone call 10 minutes later:

"Hi, I can't log into the banking account app on my iPhone. Did you do something to it with your updates?"

"Nope. They were PC updates."

"Well, I'm sorry but you're wrong. It must be you! It was working yesterday."

"Again, it's not us. What's the error message you're getting on your app?"

"Invalid password"

".....then could it just be that you're entering an invalid password?"

"No, I know the password. I only changed it yesterday!"

"So it was working before you changed the password?"

"That's what i said!
I'm telling you, it's your updates."

"Okay but before we go 'troubleshoot' it, how about ringing your bank firs-"

"Oh look, it doesn't matter if you don't want to help, I don't have time for this!
I'll ring your boss and he'll uninstall the updates for me and fix the app." *hangs up*

No. Just no.

Happened to me 2 times :D. How about you?

When will people learn that?
Java!=JavaScript

How I protect my source code from prying eyes of colleagues.

Google owns us.

This is the problem with iot

My code *may* have anger management issues.

One if the best 404 page.

Gameboard

I'm busted... 🐎💨

I have been getting a lot of angry glances in meetings since my latest laptop sticker :D

This is why I leave bugs name as features 😉😉😉😝

They taught you a lot..🙋🙋

When someone changes the API at 5pm without notice and you get a call at midnight that no one can login.

Production is down

Me to Customer :What did you do?
Customer: Nothing
Me blurt out: The fuck you didn't!
Customer: ...
Me: ...(fuckfuckfuck)
Customer:... Well, I did run these scripts..
Me: (oh thank Christ)
Me: ok, I'll get right on it (Click)
Me to TeamLead: client called. Their prod is down!
TeamMate: did he say he didn't do anything?
Me:Yes
TeamMate: ..... Every fucking time...

- Go to www.fakeWindowsUpdate.com
- Click on one of the fake "installing updates" screen
- Make browser full screen
- Enjoy the prank!

I made my coworker wait for 90 minutes...lmao

At ATM

Options
- cash only
- cash and balance
- cash and receipt
- cash and balance and receipt

Choice
- cash only

Questions
- would you like to see your balance

Then
- would you like a receipt

IF I WANTED A FUCKING RECEIPT OR TO FUCKING CHECK MY BALANCE THEN I WOULD HAVE MADE THAT CHOICE WHEN YOU FIRST ASKED ME. YOU FUCKING CUNT.

I EXPLICITLY CHOSE “CASH ONLY” SO JUST FUCKING ASK ME HOW MUCH I WANT TO WITHDRAW AND THEN LET ME GET THE FUCK ON WITH MY BASTARDING DAY!!

Once I failed captcha 4 times in a row. My colleagues told me: "Update your firmware, RoboCop"

When my friend said the note 7 is the bomb, I didn't know he meant it literally.