*random person stars my repo on Github*

Me: Fuck yes give me those stars!

*checks user's profile, has starred 40k repositories*

Me: Take that star back you whore.

Every new product these days has the tag line "powered by AI"

FUCK OFF

No it isn't.

A mass of "if" statements isn't AI!

Professor at Uni: "Missing a semicolon on yozr final exam could be a reason to fail that exam. Coding on paper is much better because that is what you will be doing on the job. "

Hate those written Java exams on paper.

Websites that only display the language based on IP address (geolocation data) can go fucking fuck themselves.

THE FACT THAT I'M USING A VPN SERVER IN GERMANY DOES NOT MEAN THAT I CAN FUCKING READ GERMAN. AT LEAST GIVE ME THE MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCKING OPTION TO CHANGE THE FUUCKING LANGUAGE YOU FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING COCKSUCKERS.

MOTHERFUCKER.

TL;DR: Teacher wants to invest in my company 😲

So, just this morning as I headed to class (still in school, 17 years old, from Germany) someone tapped me from behind - a female teacher whom I've only seen a few times (She is a really nice and friendly teacher who teaches economics)
She asked me: Aren't you the young businessman? I've seen your interview, fantastic! (Background info: I recently founded my second firm (Webdevelopment, Design and Marketing) and was quite often in the media (local newspaper, television, radio))
Quite unsure, I responded: "yeah, right".
Promptly she asked: "Is there some way I can invest in your company? Perhaps in stocks?" (Of course we can't offer stocks, we're just a small local company lol)
Me: "There always is a way I guess?" (I was extremely grateful but didn't know how to respond)
Her: "Great! Would you mind sending me an email with your contact info?"

What the fuck just happened. 😂

* Me entering the interview room:
Me: Hello
Interviewer: Hi, You are XYZ right?
Me: Yes, that is me
Interviewer: You know we offer {low_number} as a salary right?

*Me going out of the room

Assembly! I bow down to the devs who came before me🙏

They see me coding,
They hating,
Reviewing and tryna catch me writing dirty.

Bro, I want to hack Facebook. I have learnt HTML. what to do next?

Saw an ad for Wix, went like this:

"You need a website, why not do it yourself?"

Aren't they advertising to NOT use their crappy platform?

Nothing new on DevRant.
Close DevRant.
Stare at home screen.
Open DevRant.

Me: We should change the http response code to anything but 200 OK in the error response case of our API.
Other dev: No, it's fine.
Me: Why?
Other dev: The client successfully receives an error message.
Me: ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

Dev: "Ah, I finally fixed that code I was working on the other day and got it pushed to staging!"

Almond: "Ah, great! What was the issue in the end?"

Dev: "It was an odd one - it wasn't actually my code that was the issue, there was a bunch of other code getting in the way."

Almond: "How do you mean?"

Dev: "It kept complaining about something called a "unit test" failing - so after a while I found the right unit tests, deleted them, and now it works great!"

Almond: "..."

Me: *coding*
Gf: *walks into room*
Gf: awww look at all the sad winky faces
Me: excuse me?
Gf: look at all the sad winky faces *points at this ); *
Me: ... 😕😂

For windows people

Android developers will know

You should know the difference 😁

Root's shortest and best rant ever:

I tendered my resignation today!
I feel so happy and free ^_^

Still one of my favorite stackexchange question.

The future is now, old man