11
horus
144d

I have been working on this software for 3 years now. The code base was a working prototype made by my boss before I came, not more, not less. Php + Angular. Have been refactoring a lot, backend is backed with hundreds of tests now, frontend still lacks a lot. Still a lot of programm structures are still the same weird ones my boss once created in a rush between two meetings while learning Angular to get the prototype finished. Now it's used in production which makes hard to refactor, because we have to maintain backwards compatibility. Neither the parts I added or refactored completely are satisfying, because they are built on this structures, because i never got any feedback for anything I decided and because I changed my own paradigms over time.

So I am all alone on this project. All genuinly new projects are assigned to the new team members (i was the first one, no we are five plus my boss) because I wont have time, have to maintain the old one. So I never can do something new which is quite frustrating.

I did a little side tool, the only thing I invented and did completely by myself in our repertoire - and now some stakeholder shows big interest onto this. Instead of giving me the task to make a real project from this my boss wants to give it to them to develop it. Why? Because I need more time for the main application.

Also the more the software is used the more bug tickets and feature requests come. I was crying for help for months but the others had appareantly more important stuff to do.

This might be true to some extend. Yesterday we had some kind of crisis meeting and my boss wanted again to assing pur junior to help me, who has a shit load of other things to do and is a student. I insisted that this would not be enough, and one of the fulltime devs has to get involved because the thing is our core application and I am only part time btw. So my boss said we wont decide today but one of them should do it. They should have some time to figure out who which is understandable but it's not that I didn't keep saying this for months. Now they are all like whimp whimp when I have to do php i will quit. The new projects are all typescript, with node backend if any. But alas, one of them even said yesterday he doesn't want to do js anymore. Okay... but... this is our tech stack then get another job allready?

And I should do the same probably. But then again I feel very sorry for my boss who helped me in very dark times of corona and more. If both of us leave, the project he worked on for decade (including convincing poeole, collect money..) might be suddenly at it's end while he is so exited about it's access today...

I also get insecure if it's really that they hate php so much or that they don't want to work with me personally because maybe I am a bad team Player or what?

I experienced the same at my old workplace, got left alone with big parts of the project because they didn't want to do php and js in this case and it ended up five devs doing the python backend and me doing the frontend and the php cms part all alone. Then I quit and now everything seems to happen again.

And then again I think I am only fucked up so hard by this stuff because I do not really like being a developer at all. I only do it for the money and because I am good at it (at least i think so. Nobody ever bothers to ever to read my code and give me feedback, because you know, php and js). So I guess I would hate any other job in the field maybe likewise?

This job *is* convinient, salary, office
position, flexibility could not be better. At the end of the day it's not that stressfull. And i don't have any second of freetime (due to family) or energy i could offer a new and more demanding employer, can't work over time or even take a fulltime position, can't home office, can't earn less, can't travel very long to the office and especially can't go back to school to learn something completely new. Some of these constraints are softwe then other naturally but still my posibilities at the Moment are very limited. That might change in about five years if the family situation changed. So it would most likely be reasonable to stay until then at my current job? And bear being alone with this app, don't getting involved on any new project, don't learn anything new, don't invent anything.

There was one potential way out, they considered offering me PHD position to the upcoming ml part of the project... But I learned that I would attend to a bunch of classes at university first, which i would like to, but I don't think i have the time.

I feel trapped somehow. I also feel very lonely in the Office because those fucktards keep saying in home office.

Man, I don't want to go to work today.

Comments
  • 2
    So you actually like what you are doing and where you are doing it. But for some reason you think, that you should not like it, because devs have to want to learn and do new exciting stuff.

    But on the other hand, you actually don't even want to be a dev, but just do it because it is sortof easy and convenient for you to do.

    Well, keep the job. Specialize in maintenance and keep asking for help to not make it look like you don't actually care that much. You shouldn't feel guilty and whether you feel as a dev or not doesn't really matter. See it as a traditional craft or bookkeeping if it helps. Not being too emotionally and/or creatively involved is actually better. But have some base level of honour in your work and try to keep the bugs in check and the code somewhat clean.
  • 0
    It does not actual feel like liking. I am bored to death and feel left alone by my so called team. I think I could see like you suggest when there would be some perspective of change, but I guess the longer i stay the lower are the chances...
  • 1
    It seems to me that you still care alot about your job. That is something I can understand completely.

    But just to give another perspective: your colleges do not care about the main project nor your workload. Your boss does not care either: else you would get the help you have been asking for (your boss can either tell one of your colleges or hire someone new after all).

    It seems really odd to me, that your colleges can just announce to "not do X anymore" and everyone (including your boss) is absolutely fine with that.

    Sorry to be so blunt, but if this has been going on three years, it is not going to change. And if you are not happy, you should consider to move on. And yes, second guessing your occupation counts as not being happy in my book.

    I know, because I was stuck at my previous job for five years. Now, I'm 1.5 years into my new job: 100% WFH (which I love), 5-10% of the previous workload, and way better pay.

    You deserve to be a happy dev! πŸ™‚
  • 1
    @SuspiciousBug I had to think a while about the things you wrote. I think you are right: my collegues just don't care at all. About my boss, I learned in the days, that He is in a very difficult position himself and that the project is slowly growing over his head. He started to talk with his kwn bosses now. So we will see in the next weeks what comes out there as well as if one of the other devs will make the sacrifice to join me and who and last but not least if this PHD position is really impossible for my me to take. I think in one month i will know if i stay or if i go. Anyway i will start looking around tomorrow allready. In work time xD
  • 0
    @horus Alright, hoping for the best! Keep us posted πŸ‘
  • 1
    I told my boss I will leave at the end of the year, either for the PHD position (which i doubt sadly) or to take a break in unemployment and find something new. I think he understood that now. He will force the two dudes this week to decide who will join me and later takeover the project. (and of they don't it's really not my problem). This feels like a really good compromise between my desire to change, my sense of duty and my limited possibilities atm.
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