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Shared screen with a client over Skype. Showed them in Postman that their API wasn't working as expected. It was expecting a json. Instead it was giving error code 400 instead of 200.
Message :
"Error: No error. All OK"
I'll never forget the words of the client:
"Don't use all this fancy software, you don't know how to call APIs, open Internet Explorer or chrome and paste it in the bar. You'll see All OK, means all is okay."
*insert you dense mf meme here*20 -
Le monday morning after a commit on sunday evening...
PM: BLAAAH!!!! Your commit broke the site, nothing is working!!!!!!
Me: What? All of tests passed (coverage 95%), no issues were found.
PM: NOO!!!! Site is broken, we can't use it no more!!!
Me: Ok, what's the problem?
PM: I've tried to enter -10021 into this field on that page and it gived me an error.
Me: Ok? So, that single page is broken?
PM: No, whole site!!!! This is important
Me: Sure... Let me take a look
* PM tried to enter a negative value into an unsigned field that I've mutated yesterday after checking LIVE database if there was no records with negative value. Reason: we've hit an int limit and there was no chance that the value would be negative. Validation? Well, yes.... Except that page was added by him this morning without even checking everything else *
Me: Here, this is the issue, *gives explanation*
PM: Well.... You shouldn't do this. This is unacceptable. You must never leave int fields without negative values. Didn't they teach you in school that integers can be negative?!
Me: What? *consufed as hell*
PM: *More morale... blah blah blah....* Revert it back!
Me: Ok but if anything else breaks, copy of this slack conversation will be kept.
PM: Don't care! Fix it!
Me: * Reverts the fix, saves chat copy * - Done.
PM: Great.
* 5 wild minutes later *
PM: BLAAAH!!!! Site is down, service is not working, what have you done?
Me: Reverted the change needed for it to work. Todays schedule is full with other important tasks. * pastes a screenshot as a proof that he asked me to do this *
PM: FIX IT NOW! Apply your fix.
Me: You're the PM. - Done.
PM: Great, now I'll fix my code. You should be more careful next time.
Me: * YOU DENSE MATHA...KER * Sure.
How's your morning going? :)9 -
> *walking to school*
> *headphones on, music on*
> Kid wants to ask me something
> *takes off headphones*
"You're good with custom ROMs right?"
"Uuuh... Well, perhaps"
"Is it possible to install Windows on a Samsung tablet?"
> NO YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER
"No"
> *puts headphones back on*34 -
2 hours, maybe 2.5.
No one works for more than that, it's not how brains work. Or bodies for that matter, you gotta pee eventually.
OK maybe I'm pedantic and shouldn't count breaks... But then where lies the threshold? A fifteen minute coffee break? An hour long lunch break?
Could we use scrum storypoints to brag then (I once finished 12 points in a day!) — not really, because they're not standardized units of work.
Lines of code then? Well, the dev who copy pastes Java classes would beat the guy adjusting a dense Python script, without necessarily doing more.
No, the only true measure is of course grams of amphetamine per week, and in that metric I win from everyone.
😂😅😶😣😓😟😖😧😵😰🚑16 -
This week I've been struggling with dense, overly-complex code written long ago by someone who didn't add a lot of comments.
Hello again, past me.2 -
The stupid stories of how I was able to break my schools network just to get better internet, as well as more ridiculous fun. XD
1st year:
It was my freshman year in college. The internet sucked really, really, really badly! Too many people were clearly using it. I had to find another way to remedy this. Upon some further research through Google I found out that one can in fact turn their computer into a router. Now what’s interesting about this network is that it only works with computers by downloading the necessary software that this network provides for you. Some weird software that actually looks through your computer and makes sure it’s ok to be added to the network. Unfortunately, routers can’t download and install that software, thus no internet… but a PC that can be changed into a router itself is a different story. I found that I can download the software check the PC and then turn on my Router feature. Viola, personal fast internet connected directly into the wall. No more sharing a single shitty router!
2nd year:
This was about the year when bitcoin mining was becoming a thing, and everyone was in on it. My shitty computer couldn’t possibly pull off mining for bitcoins. I needed something faster. How I found out that I could use my schools servers was merely an accident.
I had been installing the software on every possible PC I owned, but alas all my PC’s were just not fast enough. I decided to try it on the RDS server. It worked; the command window was pumping out coins! What I came to find out was that the RDS server had 36 cores. This thing was a beast! And it made sense that it could actually pull off mining for bitcoins. A couple nights later I signed in remotely to the RDS server. I created a macro that would continuously move my mouse around in the Remote desktop screen to keep my session alive at all times, and then I’d start my bitcoin mining operation. The following morning I wake up and my session was gone. How sad I thought. I quickly try to remote back in to see what I had collected. “Error, could not connect”. Weird… this usually never happens, maybe I did the remoting wrong. I went to my schools website to do some research on my remoting problem. It was down. In fact, everything was down… I come to find out that I had accidentally shut down the schools network because of my mining operation. I wasn’t found out, but I haven’t done any mining since then.
3rd year:
As an engineering student I found out that all engineering students get access to the school’s VPN. Cool, it is technically used to get around some wonky issues with remoting into the RDS servers. What I come to find out, after messing around with it frequently, is that I can actually use the VPN against the screwed up security on the network. Remember, how I told you that a program has to be downloaded and then one can be accepted into the network? Well, I was able to bypass all of that, simply by using the school’s VPN against itself… How dense does one have to be to not have patched that one?
4th year:
It was another programming day, and I needed access to my phones memory. Using some specially made apps I could easily connect to my phone from my computer and continue my work. But what I found out was that I could in fact travel around in the network. I discovered that I can, in fact, access my phone through the network from anywhere. What resulted was the discovery that the network scales the entirety of the school. I discovered that if I left my phone down in the engineering building and then went north to the biology building, I could still continue to access it. This seems like a very fatal flaw. My idea is to hook up a webcam to a robot and remotely controlling it from the RDS servers and having this little robot go to my classes for me.
What crazy shit have you done at your University?9 -
Had a heated argument on whether HTML’s a fuckin programming language or not and he claims to have 8 years experience...
Fuck bro, that dense? Everyone knows its a fuckin markup language27 -
My god people = shit...
“The *insert website here* isn’t working, I need you to fix it”
- Everything’s good on our end, it’s their end that needs to be checked.
“Why can’t you fix it...!?”
Oh... I don’t know, perhaps it’s because I don’t fucking work for them you cock munch!!
I don’t get paid enough to deal with stupid fucking people. Where the FUCK is your common sense?
I work for “X”, THAT means that if something is wrong with “Y”, I have NO control over it you cock breath having fuck stain.
That’s like ordering tacos from McDonald’s and getting pissed off because they look at your like your mother should have swollowed... NO SHIT!3 -
Im way to fucking dense... Today a girl tried to show me she wanted to get to know me.
I was at McDonalds to get a coffee at McCafe. Since Im a regular there I know one of the guys enough to make jokes with him. So I was talking to him while he was making my coffee. Just before he finished it a girl interrupted him with the question if she could finish it. All she had to do was draw something with caramel on top of the cream.
I thought it was kinda rude because I was talking with her colleague. She gave me the cup and I walked out after thanking her, only to realize what she had drawn after I sat on my bicycle.
She had drawn a big heart with a question mark in it. I didnt really pay attention to the girl because I was annoyed she broke of the conversation and just took my coffee and walked out.
Now Im trying to remember what she looks like so I can talk to her tomorrow, but I dont even remember her hair color..24 -
Front end guy: Somethings wrong with your server. My app is crashing.
* proceed to check logs. Everything fine
Me: Ok send me a log, a printscreen something. What calls do you make?
*send a printscreen with a failling 404 request
* You dense motherfucker learn your fucking http status. They are there for a reason😤
3 -
Holy fucking shit!
Look, I know I'm kinda average, I actually think I'm kinda stupid... But holy fuck this new mother fucker at work is in a fucking new level of dumb ... OMG!
I'm actually thinking about asking my boss to let him go and this guy isn't even there for 2 weeks yet.
19 -
Coworker: "Look our WebApp loads much faster in Chrome (0.8s) than in Firefox (4.6s). This clearly shows that Chrome has the better JS-Engine"
Me internally: "No, it just shows how bad your JS-Code is, and not optimized, you dense Mo**Fu**"5 -
Because of the pandemic and how most of the people in my institution's I.T department are working from home we were asked to route calls from our work extension to our home phones. I did it to my cellphone and some of the calls that I get are hilarious, yet annoying. Annoying because we have a bunch of boomer ass people making the most ridiculous calls.
Being that the calls are not registered into our phones they just show the random number from which x person is calling.
Just right now my phone rings aaaand:
Me: "Hello?"
Boomer: "YES <tech support technician's name which is obviously not mine> I NEED YOU TO FIX MY EMAIL IT IS NOT WORKING AND MY LAPTOP IS NOT WORKING"
Me: "I am sorry, I don't know how did you get this number, but what we can..."
BOOMER: WELL CAN I PLEASE SPEAK TO THE TECHNICIAN? I NEED THIS TO GET FIXED RIGHT NOW
Me: As I was saying, we can attempt to send an email through your phone's outlook app if you have it installed or I can send an email asking them to contact you since you are reaching an entirely different dep..."
Boomer: "DID YOU NOT HEAR ME! MY LAPTOP IS NOT WORKING AND I CAN'T SEND EMAILS AND I DON'T WANT TO USE MY PHONE, I WANT TO USE MY LAPTOP"
Me: Did YOU not hear me? I just said that I can send an email for you since my computer is working properly, at the same time, not wanting to use your phone to send an email when you have no other option available is more of a YOU problem, it is not mine
Boomer: EXCUSE ME! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO? i AM THE MANAGER OF <X> DEPARTMENT
Me: nice to meet you I guess, I am the MANAGER of X department as well, i have been told that for issues with my attitude I can just toss you over to <Director of IT> if you wish.
Boomer: Oh....no...thank you, I will send an email through my phone and see if that works.
Some background: The Head of my department is a hardass that is not scared to tell people to fuck off when they are messing shit up and he is very protective of all of us. I love this man and have personally followed the dude through hell when no one else came through. If they think I am bitchy that dude would throw down an entire house over people being dense, and even though he is a boomer himself (age terms) he despises the general attitude of entitled people from his generation.
10/10 I love my boss and hope to heaven that all of you find similar leaders.6 -
I had a huge epiphany on Friday... not all developers enjoy coding.
Discovered when they brought down 2 of our environments, well told them what was wrong with the changes in their code that caused the environments to break, gave them links directly to the file in the gitlab repo that needed to be updated, and...
They fucking went home. The change would’ve taken all of about 30-45 seconds to update and they fucking left.
This person’s team lead come storming in pissed off because her manager is furious about 2 environments going down and preventing everyone else from being able to deploy their changes.
We provide the exact same details to the team lead about what needs to be changed, and advise that her team member took off....
30 mins later, her manager is storming up to us (devops/sre) livid as hell.
Explain the situation for a third time... manager is like, why can’t you guys fix it?
Look here you dense motherfuckers, we can fix the code. We can be the plumbers that clean up your shit. But what value do you gain as a developer if you don’t understand how the systems work and you keep pushing shit in?
Made the changes, fixed the environments, done right? Wrong.
The original developer made more changes not knowing what would happen and thoroughly fucked the environments again.
This dumb-fucking dumpster fire of a dude then sends us a slack message. “It’s down again, can you fix it?”
Our manager steps in and tells us to send him a link to the logs and have him fix it himself!
Thank goodness we have a badass manager.
Send logs, send repo file links (again), and send line numbers in the logs to try and help just a bit more. Dude goes almost the whole day without fixing it, environments are down, other devs are pissed, we throw this dude to the wolves. His manager starts to head over and was about to talk with my team lead when our manager steps out of his office and tells him the in’s and out’s of the situation and that our job isn’t to play log parser/error fixer for the developers. This dude that’s breaking the environments needs to be the one to fix the issue and his team lead should be aware of the problems and should have been able to correct his errors before it ever came to us.
The amount of hand-holding we do is ridiculous.
(Disclaimer, this one guy making some mistakes doesn’t sound too bad, but this is actually a common occurrence for like 40% of all of our developers)
We literally have interns still in college running circles around some of our full time devs. I know I’m not a developer, but for anyone that’s new-ish to developing, when you see shit like that please don’t lose hope. Those ass-hats got into programming purely for a paycheck, not because of passion.
Stick with it and your greatness will know no bounds 👍
As for you craptastic dipstick lickers, FUCK YOU!!! Go back to school and learn how to give a damn.4 -
Lemme be frank for a moment
Just because the compiler tells you that you need to do a certain thing, DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD SEE THAT AS THE ONLY FUCKING SOLUTION
DON'T START FUCKING UP THE SINGLE-RESPONSIBILITY PATTERN JUST BECAUSE THE COMPILER SAYS YOU SHOULD, HOW DENSE MUST YOU BE TO THINK THAT'S THE FUCKING SOLUTION?! PERHAPS YOU SHOULD DIG A LITTLE BIT DEEPER? I CAN'T EVEN LAUGH ABOUT IT IT'S SO SAD. DEADLINE IS GETTING CLOSER DAMNIT
Oh btw, another instance:
"I'm doing X to achieve Y because I'm more familiar with step 1 of X"
Fine, but that takes more time and can be done in way Z, in that way, you don't loose precious time and can just work on the other steps in the proces that contineously get harder.
* Person proceeds to do X anyway and get stuck, in the end having nothing done *
🙄
I like helping people, I really do
But I'm not going to loosen the knot around your neck if you keep tightening it9 -
You know what I envy Americans about? Your .gov domain.
It is so difficult here to detect if the website is honest or a scam because our government is too dense to put all their sites as subdomains of one trusted domain. Like dod.country.tld for the department of defense or justice.ministry.country.tld for the ministry of justice.
No, these idiots buy ministry-of-justice.tld, because no scammer ever could conceive the idea of buying ministryofjustice.tld to host a scam site.
At least publish an up2date list with domains I can trust.8 -
God damn fucking Windows bullshit.
Why is the fuck does Microsoft HATE its users?
Latest updates, and no fuck Windows 11, completely BREAKS all of my WSL environments.
Home directories are gone, or the environments are corrupt and won't even run.
99% of the issues these dense shit-fucks cause are because they RaNdOmLy reboot for their dumbass updates instead of scheduling them with the end user. During these rebots, do you thing they wait for everything to shut down?
HELL NO!
They just shut that shit down like they fucking own it. Editors? Gone. Browsers? Gone. WSL Consoles? Gone. Docker containers? Gone. IEdge? Hey, we have great news, we made IE your default browser again! BTW, your upgrade to Windows 11 is free until we force you to upgrade!
I'm so fed up with it.....so fucking tired of it...
The only reason why I even use WSL these days is to ssh into my Linux devices or run some quick dev tests in containers. Why not use PuTTY for SSH? Because it fucking SUCKS that's why.
I'm feeling so many emotions right now over bullshit that shouldn't even be happening. I'm literally at the point that I'm just going to install Linux on this device and just create a Windows VM on one of my hosts so I can still do "work" things that involve leadership.19 -
Why don't devs read the fucking docs?
Time and time again I find my coworkers inventing new ways of doing stuff that could easily be done with existing features.
Today I saw this on a code review (functions are from lodash):
head(filter(...))
That's what fucking `find` does, you dense motherfucker!
This is just a tiny example. I've seen so much of this shit. Sometimes it's almost art how they find ways to solve problems without actually reading the docs.7 -
You dense motherfuxker. There is a reason why we create a separate feature branch, put our code there, check the CI and THEN merge that to master. The whole reason of merge feature to master is that the CI DOES NOT GET FUCKED UP! You never keep committing your feature changes directly to master. THAT'S HOW YOU FUCK THE CI UP.9
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I wrote a prototype for a program to do some basic data cleaning tasks in Go. The idea is to just distribute the files with the executable on our shared network to our team (since it is small enough, no github bullshit needed for this) and they can go from there.
Felt experimental, so I decided to try out F# since I have always been interested with it and for some reason Microsoft adopted it into their core net framework.
I shit you not, from 185 lines of Go code, separated into proper modules etc not to mention the additional packages I downloaded (simple things for CSV reading bla bla)
To fucking 30 lines of F# that could probably be condensed more if I knew how to do PROPER functional programming. The actual code is very much procedural with very basic functional composition, so it could probably be even less, just more "dense"
I am amazed really. I do not like that namespace pollution happens all over F# since importing System.IO gives you a bunch of shit that you wouldn't know where it is coming from unless you fuck enough with Ionide and the docs. But man.....
No need for dotnet run to test this bitch, just highlight it on the IDE, alt enter and WHAM you have the repl in front of you, incremental quasi like Lisp changes on the code can be REPL changed this way, plethora of .NET BCL wonders in it, and a single point of documentation as long as you stay in standard .net
I am amazed and in love, plus finding what I wanted to do was a fucking cakewalk.
Downside: I work in a place in which Python is seen as magic and PHP, VB.NEt and C# is the end all be all of languages. If me goes away or dies there will be no one else in this side of the state to fuck with F#
This language needs to be studied more. Shit can be so compact, but I do feel that one needs to really know enough of functional programming to be good at it. It is really not a pure language like Haskell (then again, haskell is the only "mainstream" pure functional language ain't it not?) but still, shit is really nice and I really dig what Microhard is doing in terms of the .net framework.
Will provide later findings. My entire team is on the Microsoft space, we do have Linux servers, but porting the code to generate the necessary executables for those servers if needed should be a walk in the park. I am just really intrigued by how many lines of code I was able to cut down from the Go application.
Please note that this could also mean that I am a shit Golang dev, but the cut down of nil err checkings do come somewhere.9 -
Called in on a Saturday... I’d rather have my underwear ride up for the rest of my life than having to deal with your bitch ass not knowing how to run a FUCKING computer.
No, I promise it’s working fine you dense fuck. You just don’t know how to fucking run it. Perhaps instead of calling me in, why not ask your other coworkers how to preform the task that you’re failing to learn.
And the shit thing is, I’ve explained this so many fucking times. It’s not my fault you won’t retain the mother fucking information you cheeky bastard.
STOP FUCKING CALLING ME! - who the fuck even gave you my personal number you fuck!5 -
You fucking dense motherfucker of a professor. You mentally disabled shit-eater. You fucking perfectly know that I have been offered a very good position in a company I really wanted to work at and you fucking force me to stay and wait for the next graduation date to make me get my fucking degree. Just because you offered me a PhD position and I didn't want it.
I sincerely hope you lose all your prestige. Fucking choke with a big ass cock in your throath, eat your own vomit disgusting piece of shit. You are a fucking 60yo child. You have no respect for people work, you always want more. Get cancer fucking animal.
HOLY SHIT HANG URSELF9 -
Windows you dense motherfucker! Now you come with two different fucking candy crush games and some fucking disney piece of shit botnet useless game consuming an entire GB of precious ssd space?? What the flying fuck i swear i hate this piece of junk more and more every day.
Furthermore, i got my motherboard replaced the other day since it suddenly died and now i cant boot into linux anymore since windows decided it's the only os to live on my laptop? Fuck off3 -
A dev posts a link to his website on a dev group I admin, first thing said site does is ask for my location. I look, no map not logically apparent reason for it, so I close the site.
Ask they guy why he is asking for such private info and he responds to tell me that he does not think a person's exact location is that private, and if he really wanted it he would just use the IP address.
Like how many fucking levels of dense is that.5 -
Oh look, you aren't doing shit. You have 2 weeks worth of testing to complete and you are checking out stories on the Yahoo front page.
Useless. Completely incompetent. Idiot. Imbecile. Moron. Stupid. How dense? Let me count the ways...
Do you know anything?! You use big words to sound important and look like you know your shit. In reality, you have no clue!
How you have managed to capture this job is baffling to me. It shows there is much work to be done to filter out toxic, incompetent people like you. Otherwise, the industry will be plagued with a terrible fear of sub-par employees.
Your lack of common decency for the office space is appalling. Your attitude and "can do no wrong" personality is disgusting. And the cherry on top? It is impossible for you to admit mistakes and take ownership for your actions. You can be inexperienced, stressed out, or even make a mistake once in a while. Yet, the moment you DO fuck up and act like nothing was your fault, that most of it was MY fault, or the TEST environment's fault, or the other team's fault, a lack of resources, a lack of time, ANYTHING but your own damn incompetence, you are dead to me.
You are, by far, the worst co-worker I have ever had.7 -
For fucking fuck sake I fucking hate those dense motherfuckers with professor degrees from university. Lazy shmucks.
How, HOW, can you, as a sentient human being, force anybody to use Netbeans for the fucking final project? Two SOAP services, two REST services and PHP for communication? In Netbeans!? WTF. You didn't even teach us PHP for fuck sake. Why can't I choose technology I'm using!?
And to top it all of, Netbeans is the worst IDE I've ever used. I'd rather kill myself with a spoon than use for even one more project. How can ANY TEACHER use it for lectures and tasks? Using it teaches you fucking nothing, because it's generating code for you. It makes you braindead when you just look at it. It's works like shit and looks like shit.
P.S.
I hope that devTea's swear-words blocker will have some fun with this rant.
16 -
A year ago I wrote a SDK on PS4 DevKit, and when I looked at the spec I was like "Wow 8GB RAM, that's a lot to play with".
But then the OS takes about 4GB, and we have some huge textures (0.5GB) , and pretty dense point clouds (some more RAM, ka-ching!), need to leave some memory for the application on top of the SDK...we ended up having about 0.5GB for ourselves.
I was really bummed out, and this feeling is pretty much identical to the one I have when I see my total income, and then what's actually left after taxes and all the other shit.1 -
I needed a new laptop to work/study and found a suitable one on Lenovo's website...
25th of july :
- "your order has been placed... blablabla.. it will take approximately from 1 to 2 weeks to prepare and 3-5 days shipping.."
- hum... Ok.. seems long to just put RAM and SSD inside my laptop but alright..
31st of july :
- "unfortunately your order has been delayed, the new shipping date is estimated for August, 14"
- Fuck ! Ill be patient then.. hopefully it'll be ready earlier than that..
10th of August :
- "unfortunately your order has been delayed, the new shipping date is estimated for september, 7"
- WHAT THE FU.. ?!? YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO PUT 8 FUCKING GIGS OF RAM AND AN SSD PLEASE TELL ME ?!? IS IT A JOKE OR WHAT ?! I FLY ABROAD THE 17TH OF SEPTEMBER YOU BETTER SHIP MY LAPTOP IN TIME !!
I'm really mad now and thinking of cancelling the order.. I might have no time to test the laptop before flying.. FUCK !!4 -
My failed interaction with a girl:
So I go to a convention at the university.
It's nice I'm having fun, I see a girl dressed as Hermione, she is cute so I go talk to her for a little we joke around I'm really starting to like her. Then I say bye and hang out with friends for the rest of the evening. I see her leaving so I run to her and after catching up to her I ask if I could have her phone number. She says yes and enters her number on my phone. I'm super happy. I excitedly wait for the next day's evening to message her. We message for a while the next day she messages good morning, so I think things are going well, she must like me too right ? I mean we glanced at each other at the convention, she gave me her phone number and messaged good morning so I'm pretty sure she does...
Turns out she doesn't, she says she thought I wanted to be friends...
WHAT ?! FRIENDS ?? Are you 12 ? What friend would run to you to get your phone number and after getting it there would be a stupid grin on his face ??? She looks at 9gag and doesn't know the most overly used meme of "friendzone" ? Unbelievable either she was screwing with me or she is just that socially dense. So after that I'm pretty mad but I don't say any mean things I just accept the fact like a gentleman and carry on with my life. But also feeling depressed after believing we actually had a connection. Ugh I guess back to the coal mines for me huh, stupid conventions 😒9 -
Receive several documents of blog posts from a client, each one titled "Blog $n - $category - $title." Cool, the client gave them to me in order and I just have to plug them in.
Enter blogs on site starting with Blog 1.
Client sees the blogs on the site and loses their shit. "I specifically numbered the blogs so you knew what order to put them in! How hard is it to put them in numerical order? Blog 1 is the newest blog and should be first on the page."
The site displays the newest post first, but because any normal person would have named the oldest blog "blog 1" and counted up from there the blogs are in the reverse order the client expected.
What the hell kind of dense motherfucker numbers their blog files in a manner which requires them to rename every file each time they write a new blog post? -
All those website builders, tools and frameworks were designed to make tech illiterate people be able to create websites, so how fucking dense are all those people that publish jobs to create a website with a literal click & drag tool or website builder?!
Example: http://grapesjs.com/ is very popular amongst those searching - though this seems would have to be published manually after creating it, so I would understand help with publishing, but theres websites also mentioned like squarespace, which has seriously no excuses besides being that lazy and forcing somebody to chew it for you
I see maintainability of the website later on of course as a handy argument for them to use those kinda tools and websites, but what do you need somebody to do it for you from the start, if you plan on later then manage it the same way?
4 -
How dense must you be, to check-in files without differences to the source controll?! After being told at least 3 times politely and 4 times >>being screamed at<< to never ever fucking do that again?!5
-
My brother is so dense. He Spent the entire day wondering why his headphone port wasn't working on his phone, started bitching to me listing off reasons why he thinks the jack is broken.
I sit him down, ask if he tried turning it on and off again.
For fucks sake he didn't, litterally fixed the problem; the most default solution in the book and he didn't even try it. My god why can't people figure this stuff out.
Officially I have been assigned as the close and extended family "tech guy". Wasting my time solving issues that should be first nature in this century.4 -
YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER!
If anyone read my last rant, I talked about how I wanted to buy a new phone with a subscription line, but they didn't allow me because "the system says you already have one and you're over due with the payments"
FUCKING MORONS, I don't know who coded the system but I will find you and bury your head in your own shit!
They use people's RFC (Mexican Tax ID number) to create an "account" and allow buying a phone. The ID it's composed by:
NNNNYYMMDDXXX
Where N are letters from our name, then they use our birthdate's year, month and day, finally they generate three unique characters to avoid ID clashes.
Well, this stupid fucker who coded the system thought it was OKAY TO STORE ALL BUT THE CHARACTERS THAT MAKE THE ID UNIQUE.
Fucking fucker...what were you thinking?2 -
Freelance Headhunters...
No idea where they got my name and the number of my work phone...
- they do not give a damn and call me 1045 am to discuss "EXCITING BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES™"
- they are sure I am having a case of stockholm syndrome, because I could NEVER be satisfied in my current employment
- they call every other day with a new number and start the same process again
How fucking dense can people get?11 -
Do you know one major thing (among others of course) that has made devrant feel like home for me after swearing off social media for a long time?
Common ground with users dealing with absolute, insane incompetency at work (I have it real bad at my job).
This doesn't so much make me angry or frustrate me as it makes me sad.
Everyone has varying levels of intelligence in infinite disciplines. Someone could make you cry because they play violin so beautifully but they can't tell you 4 + 4 because they are completely dense, but boy are they genius with that instrument.
Everyone is GREAT at something, that's capitalism's strength! Everyone can excel! I'm lucky enough to truly in my heart believe that programming, data and game development is my true calling...and I personally think I'm amazing at it.
It breaks my heart when people fall into or pursue something that clearly they just don't have enough passion for or regardless just don't have the skill for.
They become toxic to themselves, their employees/coworkers, their industry.
Sadly, power is given to people who simply aren't capable and power is bad on so many levels (aka fucking psychopaths gaining too much power) but it's also bad when people who don't know what they're doing or care get power.
People, I implore you...the secret to happiness and fulfillment in life is finding what makes you happy and what you're passionate about and good at and gripping it until you die.
Most people don't find it....but DON'T stop looking! It took me until my 30's to figure it out. My best friend in her 20's took her life because she couldn't find purpose...don't just be an asshat, incompetent manager in an industry you don't know a fuck about. Love what you do and help others excel.
This is how I get when I'm drunk, sorry. You guys will learn, lol.2 -
Rant rant rant!
Le me subscribe to website to buy something.
Le register, email arrives immediately.
*please not my password as clear text, please not my password as clear text *
Dear customer your password is: ***
You dense motherfucker, you special bread of idiotic asshole its frigging 2017 and you send your customer password in an email!???
They frigging even have a nice banner in their website stating that they protect their customer with 128bit cryptography (sigh)
Protect me from your brain the size of a dried pea.
Le me calm down, search for a way to delete his profile. Nope no way.
Search for another shop that sells the good, nope.
Try to change my info: nope you can only change your gender...
Get mad, modify the html and send a tampered form: it submits... And fail because of a calculation on my fiscal code.
I wanna die, raise as a zombie find the developers of that website kill them and then discard their heads because not even an hungry zombie would use that brains for something.1 -
> colleague: My file has 79.25% of unit testing coverage
> supervisor: you're almost there! One final effort and you'll get that 0.75%!
Seeing someone this fucking dense is physically frustrating even when I'm not involved3 -
How the Common Lisp Community will eventually die soon:
Clojure is the only main Lisp dialect having some sort of heavy presence in today's modern development world. Yes, I am aware of other(if not all) environments in which Lisp or a dialect of it is being used for multiple things, CADLisp, Guile Scheme, Racket, etc etc whatever. I know.
Not only is Clojure present in the JVM(I give 0 fucks about whether you like it or not also) but also has compilation targets for Javascript via Clojurescript. This means that i can effectively target backend server operations, damn near everything inside of the JVM and also the browser.
Yet, there is no real point in using Lisp or Clojure other than for pure academic endeavours, for which it is not even a pure functional programming language, you would be better served learning something else if you want true functional purity. But also because examples for one of the major areas in software development, mainly web, are really lacking, like, lacking bad, as in, so bad most examples are few in between and there is no interest in making it target complete beginners or anything of the like.
But my biggest fucking gripe with Lisp as a whole, specifically Common Lisp, is how monstrously outdated the documentation you can find available for it is.
Say for example, aesthetics, these play a large role, a developer(web mostly) used to the attention to detail placed by the Rails community, the Laravel community, django, etc etc would find on documentation that came straight from the 90s. There is no passion for design, no attention to detail, it makes it look hacky and abandoned. Everything in Lisp looks so severely abandoned for which the most abundant pool of resources are not even made present on a fully general purpose language constrained as a scripting environment for a text editor: Emacs with Emacs Lisp which I reckon is about the most used Lisp dialect in the planet, even more so than Clojure or Common Lisp.
I just want the language to be made popular again y'know? To have a killer app or framework for it much like there is Rails for Ruby, Phoenix for Elixir, etc etc. But unless I get some serious hacking done to bring about the level of maturity of those frameworks(which I won't nor I believe I can) then it will always remain a niche language with funny syntax.
To be honest I am phasing away my use of Clojure in place of Pharo. I just hate seeing how much the Lisp community does in an effort to keep shit as obscure and far away from the reach of new developers as possible. I also DESPISE reading other Lisp developer's code. Far too fucking dense and clever for anyone other than the original developer to read and add to. The idea that Lisp allows for read only code is far too real man.
Lisp has been DED for a while, and the zombies that remain will soon disappear because the community was too busy playing circle jerks for anything real to be done with it. Even as the original language of AI it has been severely outshined by the likes of Python, R and Scala, shit, even Javascript has more presence in AI than Lisp does now a days.9 -
Been working on a new project for the last couple of weeks. New client with a big name, probably lots of money for the company I work for, plus a nice bonus for myself.
But our technical referent....... Goddammit. PhD in computer science, and he probably. approved our project outline. 3 days in development, the basic features of the applications are there for him to see (yay. Agile.), and guess what? We need to change the user roles hierarchy we had agreed on. Oh, and that shouldn't be treated as extra development, it's obviously a bug! Also, these features he never talked about and never have been in the project? That's also a bug! That thing I couldn't start working on before yesterday because I was still waiting the specs from him? It should've been ready a week ago, it's a bug that it's not there! Also, he notes how he could've developes it within 40 minutes and offered to sens us the code to implement directly in our application, or he may even do so himself.... Ah, I forgot to say, he has no idea on what language we are developing the app. He said he didn't care many times so far.
But the best part? Yesterday he signales an outstanding bug: some data has been changed without anyone interacting. It was a bug! And it was costing them moneeeeey (on a dev server)! Ok, let's dig in, it may really be a bug this time, I did update the code and... Wait, what? Someone actually did update a new file? ...Oh my Anubis. HE did replace the file a few minutes before and tried to make it look like a bug! ..May as well double check. So, 15 minutes later I answer to his e-mail, saying that 4 files have been compromised by a user account with admin privileges (not mentioning I knee it was him)... And 3 minutes later he answered me. It was a message full of anger, saying (oh Lord) it was a bug! If a user can upload a new file, it's the application's fault for not blocking him (except, users ARE supposed to upload files, and admins have been requestes to be able to circumvent any kind of restriction)! Then he added how lucky I was, becausw "the issue resolved itself and the data was back, and we shouldn't waste any more yime.on thos". Let's check the logs again.... It'a true! HE UPLOADED THE ORIGINAL FILES BACK! He... He has no idea that logs do exist? A fucking PhD in computer science? He still believes no one knows it was him....... But... Why did he do that? It couldn't have been a mistake. Was he trying to troll me? Or... Or is he really that dense?
I was laughing my ass of there. But there's more! He actually phones my boss (who knew what had happened) to insult me! And to threaten not dwell on that issue anymore because "it's making them lose money". We were both speechless....
There's no way he's a PhD. Yet it's a legit piece of paper the one he has. Funny thing is, he actually manages to launch a couple of sort-of-nationally-popular webservices, and takes every opportunity to remember us how he built them from scratch and so he know what he's saying... But digging through google, you can easily find how he actually outsurced the development to Chinese companies while he "watched over their work" until he bought the code
Wait... Big ego, a decent amount of money... I'm starting to guess how he got his PhD. I also get why he's a "freelance consultant" and none of the place he worked for ever hired him again (couldn't even cover his own tracks)....
But I can't get his definition of "bug".
If it doesn't work as intended, it's a bug (ok)
If something he never communicated is not implemented, it's a bug (what.)
If development has been slowed because he failed to provide specs, it's a bug (uh?)
If he changes his own mind and wants to change a process, it's a bug it doesn't already work that way (ffs.)
If he doesn't understand or like something, it's a bug (i hopw he dies by sonic diarrhoea)
I'm just glad my boss isn't falling for him... If anything, we have enough info to accuse him of sabotage and delaying my work....
Ah, right. He also didn't get how to publish our application we needes access to the server he wantes us to deploy it on. Also, he doesn't understand why we have acces to the app's database and admin users created on the webapp don't. These are bugs (seriously his own words). Outstanding ones.
Just..... Ffs.
Also, sorry for the typos.5 -
I'm notoriously bad at Git. By that I mean I REALLY REALLY SUCK AT IT. And I have the curse of short memory and an even shorter ability to retain the how-to, muscle memory knowledge of things if too much time passes.
So, I was staring down the gullet of merging two separate repositories onto my local machine and then pushing the result to a remote server. Not having the benefit of someone else to bounce this off of, and always finding the usual Git docs too dense and obtuse, I turned to ChatGPT to help me sort it out.
Guys, where has this been all of my life? I know it's not perfect and it can make mistakes. I knew that going into it, so I made preparations in case this failed. BUT. IT. WORKED! I feel like it has put me into the Star Trek:TNG universe where I can say "Computer, do the thing." and it does that thing. Here's the prompt I used and which it answered perfectly.
"Play the role of a git coach. I have two git repositories. One is on Bitbucket. The other is on GitHub. The branch named "master" on Bitbucket has the latest code. The branch named "master" on GitHub needs to be updated to what's on the Bitbucket "master" branch. Please write the series of git commands that I will need to accomplish this."9 -
Beautiful is better than ugly.
Explicit is better than implicit.
Simple is better than complex.
Complex is better than complicated.
Flat is better than nested.
Sparse is better than dense.
Readability counts.
Special cases aren't special enough to break the rules.
Although practicality beats purity.
Errors should never pass silently.
Unless explicitly silenced.
In the face of ambiguity, refuse the temptation to guess.
There should be one-- and preferably only one --obvious way to do it.
Although that way may not be obvious at first unless you're Dutch.
Now is better than never.
Although never is often better than *right* now.
If the implementation is hard to explain, it's a bad idea.
If the implementation is easy to explain, it may be a good idea.
Namespaces are one honking great idea -- let's do more of those!1 -
At my institution there is a sys admin that belongs to an entirely different department. They have their own systems on their own network, separated from ours. I do not care, nor do I mind at all, but this is the second time I've had to put their admin in his place.
The first instance was when we had a security firm gauge our systems for vulnerabilities etc. The one that they have was fine, but required some additional configurations on their Tomcat servers. The "sys-admin" contacted I.T (my department) in order to request assistance, the net manager was the one he contacted, and he told the dude that he is not familiar with the Tomcat environment that they have, but that I, the dev manager, would possibly give him some pointers. The net manager is my friend, and he knows how much of a dickhead I am, so he was careful in what he told him. So the dude calls me:
"Hey, I need some items fixed on my Tomcat servers, they told me you have to do it"
Me: "Who? those are your servers"
Him: "The net manager said that you would do it"
Me: "I am certain he didn't tell you that bud, no one here will take care of your servers, they are yours, I am not doing any configurations on your stuff, that is your job"
Him: "Can't you just do them?"
Me: "No, bye"
The little bitch escalated it to my department director, who told him exactly the same thing, the director did ask if I would be willing to assist, I told him no since even though his configurations were minimal, I was not going to put myself in the position to which that fucker's ineptitude would cause him to point fingers at me, director backed me up and told the fucker to deal with his own shit.
This year it came to my attention that not only do they have their owns servers, but their own SSO system. This moron contacted me, tagging VPS and such in the email to tell me that I had to configure his SSO because "they told me you had to do it". The same shit happened, but this time I put him on blast during a meeting and told him that as "sys admin" for his stuff it was his responsibility to deal with the SSO that they have, and to contact the vendor to ask for the specifications. In front of EVERYONE he asked me if I could do it for him, I fucking looooooooled and told him that he just admitted to not being able to do his job (for which he is paid handsomely) in front of the entire room of VPS. One VP asked me why I was not willing to help him, and I told the VP that it would be the equivalent of me taking his vehicle for services, it is not my vehicle, thus not my responsibility. The VP agreed and told the fucker to get on with it and do what I said: contact his vendor channels to figure it out himself since it was indeed his position.
Yet again he said that he didn't know about SSO configs and that he was "told that I would do it", everyone asked who the fuck told him that and he said that the vendor, they asked again how it was and he showed the message from the vendor telling him: "Have your SSO admin perform the following <bla bla bla bla>" they asked him who was the manager for the SSO that they had. He said that it was him. Then they asked him what logic made him believe that it should be me, he stated again "they told me it was him".
I could hear everyone's brains shortcircuiting as no one could believe someone would be this fucking dense.
I don't think he will continue to have his job for much longer. I understand not knowing something, and I would have been happy to give pointers since I do administer systems of that level, but I can't with the whole made up "they said he would do it"
Bitch who said that? just say that you want me to do it because you can't, I mean, I am still not fucking doing it, but damn. Fucking morons man.5 -
When someone over complicates everything. Turns what could be a three paragraph billeted system launch email into four dense pages that no one will finish reading. First page tooting their horn for a job not well done. Usually 'less is more'2
-
For my graduate level people(aka Masters degree students or holders)
How normal would you say that: giving dense ass lectures in NN with absolutely NO practical examples and just a fuckload of theory + 1 simulation project in Pytorch in which a robot is to detect collisions is?
is it normal? i mean I knew about Pytorch from a very shallow overview, but these assholes gave that project and expected it completed in a week with a fuckload of dense ass lectures and no practical exmaples.
I know school is supposed to be hard, that is not my gripe, but in yalls experience are teachers more descriptive and fun in other institutions? do I just have shit luck with teachers? I don't feel like wasting my money. If your experience was better then let me know, cuz I want education yes, but i want it better.4 -
Looked up at the clock... 2 AM... Thought about giving up and going to sleep, but something kept me there...
Rewrote my encoder and decoder for my steganography program, which are used to insert and retrieve data respectively from images. Compiled, ran, and output was as expected!
Tried to write actual data, instead of just headers, to the image, and it broke... Of course it wouldn't work first try, it's me writing the code after all.
But then, after debugging for a while and changing a couple lines, the encoder looked like it had done its work properly. Then I decoded it, and voila, data completely recovered! It almost felt too magical to be true, usually I have to modify a lot more to get it working.
So now I'm in bed, after literally decimating the memory usage of the program, amongst other optimizations, and I know that the code works perfectly 😎 best part is I refactored each class down to 100 lines each, so now it's clean and dense 😇
Just had to share, feeling so good right now 😄2 -
Question from my front end developer. "Where does the testimonial link go to?"
*facepalm* how dense do you have to be. Idk let's have it go to some section, on the same page even, that is called the testimonials section. A page you built.
Some days I wonder about people. -
during a programming introduction course on loops my pals started writing `for` loops instead of `while` loops like so:
`for (;expression;) {}`
spent weeks explaining why it's wrong. needless to say, they still do it. had to hinder myself from ripping my hair off my head11 -
Headsup: if you're making a game, or want to, a good starting point is to ask a single question.
How do I want this game to feel?
A lot of people who make games get into it because they play and they say I wish this or that feature were different. Or they imagine new mechanics, or new story, or new aesthetics. These are all interesting approaches to explore.
If you're familiar with a lot of games, and why and how their designs work, starting with game
feel is great. It gives you a palette of ideas to riff on, without knowing exactly why it works, using your gut as you go. In fact a lot of designers who made great games used this approach, creating the basic form, and basically flew-blind, using the testing process to 'find the fun'.
But what if, instead of focusing on what emotions a game or mechanic evokes, we ask:
How does this system or mechanic alter the
*players behaviors*? What behaviors
*invoke* a given emotion?
And from there you can start to see the thread that connects emotion, and behavior.
In *Alien: Isolation*, the alien 'hunts' for the player, and is invulnerable. Besides its menacing look, and the dense atmosphere, its invincibility
has a powerful effect on the player. The player is prone to fear and running.
By looking at behavior first, w/ just this one game, and listing the emotions and behaviors
in pairs "Fear: Running", for example, you can start to work backwards to the systems and *conditions* that created that emotion.
In fact, by breaking designs down in this manner, it becomes easy to find parallels, and create
these emotions in games that are typically outside the given genre.
For example, if you wanted to make a game about vietnam (hold the overuse of 'fortunate son') how might we approach this?
One description might be: Play as a soldier or an insurgent during the harsh jungle warfare of vietnam. Set ambushes, scout through dense and snake infested underbrush. Identify enemy armaments to outfit your raids, and take the fight to them.
Mechanics might include
1. crawl through underbrush paths, with events to stab poisonous snacks, brush away spiders or centipedes, like the spiders in metro, hold your breathe as armed enemy units march by, etc.
2. learn to use enfilade and time your attacks.
3. run and gun chases. An ambush happens catching you off guard, you are immediately tossed behind cover, and an NPC says "we can stay and fight but we're out numbered, we should run." and the system plots out how the NPCs hem you in to direct you toward a series of
retreats and nearest cover (because its not supposed to be a battle, but a chase, so we want the player to run). Maybe it uses these NPC ambushes to occasionally push the player to interesting map objectives/locations, who knows.
4. The scouting system from State of Decay. you get a certain amount of time before you risk being 'spotted', and have to climb to the top of say, a building, or a tower, and prioritize which objects in the enemy camp to identity: trucks, anti-air, heavy guns, rockets, troop formations, carriers, comms stations, etc. And that determines what is available to 'call in' as support on the mission.
And all of this, b/c you're focusing on the player behaviors that you want, leads to the *emotions* or feelings you want the player to experience.
Point is, when you focus on the activities you want the player to *do* its a more reliable way of determining what the player will *feel*, the 'role' they'll take on, which is exactly what any good designer should want.
If we return back to Alien: Isolation, even though its a survival horror game, can we find parallels outside that genre? Well The Last of Us for one.
How so? Well TLOU is a survival third-person shooter, not a horror game, and it shows. Theres
not the omnipresent feeling of being overpowered. The player does use stealth, but mostly it's because it serves the player's main role: a hardened survivor whos a capable killer, struggling through a crapsack world. The similarity though comes in with the boss battles against the infected.
The enemy in these fights is almost unstoppable, they're a tank, and the devs have the player running from them just to survive. Many players cant help but feel a little panic as they run for their lives, especially with the superbly designed custom death scenes for joel. The point is, mechanics are more of a means to an end, and if games are paintings, and mechanics are the brushes, player behavior is the individual strokes and player emotion is the color. And by examining TLOU in this way, it becomes obvious that while its a third person survival shooter, the boss fights are *overtones* of Alien: Isolation.
And we can draw that comparison because like bach, who was deaf, and focused on the keys and not the sound, we're focused on player behavior and not strictly emotions.1 -
If ya ever feel frustrated as all fuck because that retard friend is too fucking dense to bundle a vue.js instead of pulling it from cdn for a fucking phonegap build.
0) get in yo car
1) find a bmw at a red lite
2) signal 4 race
3) floor dat shit and leave em in the dust bc bmws have no fucking launch control
Yall know who the fuck wrote this rant dontcha1 -
I really like coding for scientific purposes. It unites my big passions (natural sciences/engineering/coding). And I like the feeling of empowering someone to do research. BUT BESIDES DEALING WITH DUMB FEATURE REQUESTS, THERE IS NO WORSE PAIN THAN HEARING PHD CANDIDATES FUCKING SAY RETARDED STUFF. HOW DID YOU EVEN WON THE SCHOLARSHIP FOR THE PHD YOU DENSE SON OF A BITCH (NICE JOB ACADEMIC ENVIRONMENT BTW). YOU LACK KNOWLEDGE OF HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL EVEN ON YOUR OWN SUBJECT. THE BEST RESEARCH YOU CAN PROVIDE TO THIS WORLD IS THE FLUID DYNAMICS OF AIR WHILE YOU JUMP OFF A SKYSCRAPER MOTHERFUCKER.
-
The 'lead' developer is unable to comprehend why sending an empty string when it doesn't exist (instead of not sending it at all and setting it later when it becomes available) is not the best idea to do. Instead, everything is the fault of ElasticSearch (which I oversee in some capacity) because it doesn't read stupid! And so any error being caused is due to ES. YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
-
My surname is also a common firstname, so sometimes people mix them up and call me by my surname. I'm never offended and just answer by calling them by their surname too, so they understand... usually.
Today, the following e-mail exchange happened:
(Following are made-up names)
Me: Alexander William
Colleague 1: Kurt Richardson
Colleague 2: Amy Lopez
From: k.richardson@contoso.com <Kurt Richardson>
To: a.william@contoso.com <Alexander William>
Cc: a.lopez@contoso.com <Amy Lopez>
Hi,
Could I have an USB-C to HDMI adapter please ?
Thanks.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: a.william@contoso.com <Alexander William>
To: k.richardson@contoso.com <Kurt Richardson>
Cc: a.lopez@contoso.com <Amy Lopez>
Hi Kurt,
I'm currently remote-working but if you are on premises tomorrow I could give one to you.
If you're not there tomorrow, I'll just drop it on Amy's desk so you can get it from her.
Regards,
Alexander William
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: k.richardson@contoso.com <Kurt Richardson>
To: a.william@contoso.com <Alexander William>
Cc: a.lopez@contoso.com <Amy Lopez>
Hi William,
I'm working on premises every thursday.
Regards.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: a.william@contoso.com <Alexander William>
To: k.richardson@contoso.com <Kurt Richardson>
Cc: a.lopez@contoso.com <Amy Lopez>
No problem, Richardson. As I said I'll then drop it on Lopez' desk.
Regards,
Alexander William
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: k.richardson@contoso.com <Kurt Richardson>
To: a.william@contoso.com <Alexander William>
Cc: a.lopez@contoso.com <Amy Lopez>
Good evening William, [Editor's Note: this was received at 14:23]
Thanks.
Is he fucking dense or what?11 -
!rant
PROJECT
Have been working on a tool to visualize neural networks.
It currently supprots Dense and Conv Networks.
Tell me what you think!
https://github.com/Prodicode/... -
I want a neckbeard option in devrant avatar building. Let’s be real, maybe one percent of us has good dense beard.15
-
Yesterday I asked a question on stack overflow about what algorithm I should use in order to parse command line strings like in gnu getopt for example.. And I've got downvoted for no GOOD FUCKING REASON. On top of that, my question is on hold. WTF?! For some time now stack overflow is becoming more and more a community of fucking cunts, arse-holes and toxic people.
Title:
" What parser algorithm is best suited for command line parsing? [on hold] "
My question:
"I want to write my own command line library from scratch. What algorithm should I use in order to parse gnu style args like in getopt for example ? I mean what's the best way other than tokenizing and parse them in a naive way? Should I try to look at LR, LL algorithms or this is way too overkill?"
Their response:
"Your question sounds like "I want to do X. What's the best way to do it?". Too broad, you need to be more specific about what problem you're having. (And keep your question clean. No meta-stuff in there.)"
I mean, what more context-specific reason should I add you dense motherfucker!? I want an algorithm to parse your momma's cunt so hard 'till it blows the fuck up. This what you want? You fucking senseless piece of garbage. God, give me a car to run over their fucking internet cable and over their head, too.8 -
Me this morning(On Way to Work): Not going to let anything upset me today, i'm going to work, succeed and then have lunch with fam :)
Me In office(Still morning): This song is awesome(song i don't really like)
PM: Meeting Now!
PM In Meeting: What do you have to do?
Me: Some CSS shit. Gotta make things look pretty after they work so beautifully.
PM: OK but be more specific
Me: Layering issues with the popups, the alert input needs some tweaking.
PM: What are you busy with now.
Me: Layering issues.
PM: *As she writes on board* So that's alert, popups, layering issues, input and CSS.
Me: No it's just two tasks.
PM: You've got a lot of work, get started.
Team Leader: It's only two tasks, it's not five.
PM: Oh i thought they were all different.
Me: :|
Me: *Breathe in... Breathe Out*
Me (around 12ish): Fuck! This Dense. Bitch!!
PM 1ish: Meeting Now!
Me: Fuck!
PM: How far are you?
Me: Well i'm about done, just gotta test the changes, if it fails debug it a little and done.
PM: *Explains some shit about what i have to do*
Me: *Knowing what she's already going to say* *Slirps coffee really loud*
PM: You listening?
Me: oh yeah sure.
PM: *Gets pissed says it's because she didn't have coffee yet*
Me: *Slirps coffee while making eye contact*
Me inside: Mwahahahahahahahahaaa!!!1 -
I finally got the lstm to a training and validation loss of < 0.05 for predicting the digits of a semiprime's factors.
I used selu activation with lecun normal initialization on a dense decoder, and compiled the model with Adam as the optimizer using mean squared error.
Selu is self-normalizing, meaning it tends to mean 0 and preserves a standard deviation of one, so it eliminates the exploding/vanishing gradient problem. And I can get away with this specifically because selu *only* works on dense layers.
I chose Adam, even though this isn't a spare problem, because Adam excels on noisy problems and non-stationary objectives (definitely this), and because adam typically doesn't require a lot of hyperparameter tuning its ideal here, especially considering because I don't know what the hyperparameters should be to begin with.
I did work out some general guidelines on training quantity vs validation, etc.
The initial set wasn't huge or anything, roughly 110k pairs for training.
It converged pretty quick all things considered, and to the low loss like I mentioned, but even then the system always outputs the same result, regardless of the input, so obviously I'm doing something incorrectly.
The effectiveness of this approach for training and validation makes me question if I haven't got something wildly wrong. Still exploring though and figuring out how to get my answers back out. I'm hoping I just fucked up the output, and not the input as well. -
!dev
There are no right answers in parenting, but there are sure as hell wrong ones and if the fucking backfire effect is too much to keep you from realizing that half of your stupid fucking decisions are delusional at best then you should probably start rethinking some things. I fucking hate dealing with other people fucking up and being stupid and I know I'm going to have to keep dealing with it in one form or another but god why I'm so done with this I just fucking don't want to deal with anyone anymore I don't want to deal with myself anymore
I dunno I don't have anyone to rant to so I can't like be specific here because it's public af but you know typing this makes me feel a little better but I still just don't want to deal with this shit anymore I don't even know what I do want to do there's like nothing the positive feedback is going away and I don't know what to fucking do with myself and I don't know how to change anything I can't fucking fix anything I mean I can fix my shitty code but I'm never getting anywhere with that and whenever I want to fix anything that's actually important I just fuck up regardless of how hard I try I just don't want to fucking try anymore I don't know if I'll actually hit post but I have to put this somewhere so probably but ugh I don't even fucking ugh literally all of my problems are so fucking dumb and small and elementary but I CAN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING I keep ranting about these fucked up people I have to deal with and yeah they fucking suck and sometimes I wish they didn't exist but I know I'm just as if not more of an idiot and everyone would probably be better off if I didn't exist but wait no that would have happened but you guys don't get to know about that because it's specific and putting that here would fuck shit up but someone else could so that so much better and I don't know everyone who interacts with me is just hurting themselves like fuck why do some friends like blades better than me maybe because I'm even less caring and even more damaging than a stupid fucking inanimate sharp piece of metal god fucking ugh okay I can't focus on anything why is this even okay side rant why are atheists so fucking hated like yes maybe some can't understand their motives for like doing things but nobody can really understand each other's like religious people all use god or gods in their own way why do you have to think of people who have zero gods as opposed to your nonzero as less human than you there's so much wrong with that okay that side rant is over but this whole thing is a side rant so cool fuck my life lol uuh I don't know I don't want to stop typing I don't know why though I guess I just actually I have no fucking idea I'm just here doing this I should be like fucking asleep I'm passing the fuck out after this ugh okay okay okay okay okay okay okay umm I really want to quote a certain person that I really hate right now and dissect them and prove every single fucking stupid argument they make wrong but I feel like that would not be good since this is so public but I swear I hate this and you know what if you're thinking that yes I AM A FUCKING WHINY BITCH DEAL WITH IT I'M WHINING YOU DENSE FUCKER YOU DON'T HAVE TO POINT IT OUT AND FEEL SMUG IT'S BETTER TO VENT HERE THAN A LOT OF OTHER WAYS SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP OKAY ACTUALLY FUCK IT CALL ME OUT ON IT I NEED SOMETHING TO TAKE THIS OUT ON GOD AAAAAAH okay uuh yeah that's fun I'm a fuck up okay okay so you ask "how can you be a fuck up you're so young her der" okay being young generally is a disadvantage because you haven't had opportunity but boy have I and I sure fucked every single one of those up so yeah fun stuff you know woo haha mmkay I wish I had friends online this late because then I could like rant to a person and shit I mean this community is people but not people I know and it's not really back and forth as much and ugh okay right uuh yeah good um ugh I used to be able to get this shit out by doing something I'm good at but now I'm shit at everything and I can't motivate myself and it's all just bottled up and there's so much shit and nothing works and fuck there's probably a simple solution to everything I'm facing but I'm such a dense piece of shit that I can't find any of those stupid fucking ugh okay now I'm looking at my stupid hands typing ugh I hate the things right back up here uuh uuh I have 500 charas left lets fucking go I don't want to stop I mean I do want to stop but like by that I mean I just want to not exist I do want to keep typing here because it's the only thing distracting me but yeah uuh right um some people were like wtf happened with your stalking thing and this isn't where I should put it but fuck it whatever some weird guy just logged on for 10 mins to take a screenshot of the time being 2:22:22 and logged off and boom the school year ended uuh yeah kay right fuck I have to end it now
Aaaah okay uuh right bye I'm really sorry if you actually read that whole thing4 -
I've been reading about quantum computing in finance and other applications (fascinating read, althought really dense), but one question now won't stop bugging me.
Context:
1) Blockchain applications are based on NP-Hard asymmetric cryptographic problems, and how hard it is to solve such problems in a really short time.
2) So called "Web3.0" is based mostly on Blockchain applications, but would still need significant advances in order to be practical.
3) Affordable and practical cloud-based quantum computing is not so far in the future, and could be used to crack most NP-Hard problems in short (polynomial) time.
Thus, my question: Is Web3.0 obsolete before it even begun?
I mean, if quantum computing takes on fast enough, it could snuff out Blockchain applications by giving those a shelf life so short it wouldn't be worth to delevolp for it. It would be like announcing the iPhone 14 and the 15 on the same breath, saying the 15 is only a quarter away - why would anyone bother with the born-obsolete tech?5 -
Sitting here debugging my SQL code that creates tables and references for a project. I always forget how easy it is miss the small stupid things like typos in your names. Nothing like debugging to remind you of how much of a dense idiot you are.1
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Why the flying fuck does a resultset get returned with the pointer going to BEFORE the first fucking entry? And why does the error say "no data available"????
I saw the stinking values in the debugger, you fat cunt, don't tell me there is nothing there.
But hey, at least now my boss doesn't have any expectations whatsoever. I sure am dense motherfucker.1 -
I was just asked to make a method for the "logical or" (aka "||") in JavaScript "because it's used multiple times".
How dense do you have to be to argue against "it creates additional closures" and "creating functions for built-in operators is an anti-pattern".
Come on!!! At least it's my last week here, I'll be done with this soon enough.1 -
Guys...watch the cppcon21 keynotes.
That is good stuff.
The insights and ideas in these talks are not just for c++. They apply to CS in general.
The presenters have done a phenomenal job with the content. There is a good deal of philosophy for what it means to code and how it should look like (not specifically in c++). Most of it is distilled insights collated right from the times when computer science was a domain of mathematicians and ee majors to the modern age.
It is like Dr.Dobbs but in video. Even book like. Certainly very dense.2 -
Do it's been about 19 days since my last update on my shitty internet and the upgrade that's meant to be in the pipeline for the current month.
Despite seeing people laying cable around my neighbourhood there's been no update on their website or in my letterbox.
It's halfway through the month and news outlets are reporting that the NBN has said that they:
Have 99% coverage
100,000 suburbs that aren't fully catered to
But, can't cater to a property that is in a relatively dense area less than 20km from a major city. -
!Rant
I think I am going overboard with Java streams and my fellow programmers will hate me. I have not written a loop for... a month? My code is starting to be extremely semantically dense. -
Jimmy Bogard purely because he gets loads of hate on social media because of idiots abusing the free libraries he puts up on nuget, and blaming him because they’re dense. And has Nick Chapsas constantly flaming him.
Jimmy doesn’t give two fucks. Be like Jimmy.
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