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Stack Overflow users in a nutshell:
*8 months ago*
Noob: "How can I do this with Javascript?"
SO User: "You should use jQuery. Here's how to do this in jQuery."
*Now*
Noob: "How can I do this with jQuery?"
SO User: "jQuery is redundant now. Here's how you can do it with Javascript."18 -
Stupid bloody PM.
I asked him for two images a long time ago: a 1x and a 2x ‘0’ monogram for Apple wallets, since we currently have monograms for glyphs 1-9 and a-z. And this is in production, so any merchant whose name starts with a ‘0’ will cause a crash. We’ve been fortunate thus far.
But this PM. He lied about who needed to make the images for three weeks, saying it’s up to the designer, when he actually made them himself. He also said he was going to take care of handing the task off, and never did, and then said designer when on FTO. When I asked the designer about it after he came back, he had no clue what graphics (and even the feature) I was talking about, or even what the requirements for the graphics might be. I had to confront the PM before he admitted he made the originals, and (begrudgingly) said he would make the new ones.
When said PM did finally make the images, the colors were all wrong. They’re not the light teal from our branding, they’re dark blue and the font is different, making them pretty ugly.
Also, after assuring me that the naming convention for the new images is the same, I discover that they’re neither organized into folders nor even named properly. (And yes, he is aware of how it should be.) I can rename and move them around easily enough, but come on, don’t say you did the work and then give me a mess to clean up!
And to top it all off, he completely spaced making the ‘u’ monograms, so I’m still short a fucking glyph!
Asdfjskldf.
How do you do every single thing wrong? Like, how!?1 -
My god people = shit...
“The *insert website here* isn’t working, I need you to fix it”
- Everything’s good on our end, it’s their end that needs to be checked.
“Why can’t you fix it...!?”
Oh... I don’t know, perhaps it’s because I don’t fucking work for them you cock munch!!
I don’t get paid enough to deal with stupid fucking people. Where the FUCK is your common sense?
I work for “X”, THAT means that if something is wrong with “Y”, I have NO control over it you cock breath having fuck stain.
That’s like ordering tacos from McDonald’s and getting pissed off because they look at your like your mother should have swollowed... NO SHIT!3 -
Real story at a screening interview:
Me(interviewer): how do you convert a string into a number in Javascript?
Candidate: what do you mean?
Me: (writes "123" -> 123 on paper) How do you convert "123" to 123 in JS?
Candidate: (starts writing program on paper)
str.replace(/\"/g, '"")
mind==blown!!12 -
Let an expert consultant write your code, they say. It will be all right, they say.
Found this today in a legacy codebase.
3 -
no matter how big shot programmer you are, you 90% time you will only code
if(condition)
{
// do something
}
else
{
// do something else
}8 -
Recruiter: "How do you see the future of the field?"
Me: "... How do I see the future of neurorobotics?"
Hom: "Yes"
Me: 😐 *baffled*8 -
So I've been applying to jobs. I, purposely, have been putting down that I am female (since they all harp on diversity, I'd like to see if they even bother reaching out to me. Also anything to get my resume past the bots).
Spoiler alert - getting similar ratios to male counterparts, 100+ applications sent, maybe 4 phone interviews. No offers yet. Still made to do code challenges.
Well, I just found out where all that diversity hiring went to. Buddy of mine who works at a mid tier company said that they have a special program that onboards women into tech.
Specifically, women who have literally zero background in computers.
Teachers, social workers, etc. They get a week or so of some coding bootcamp and then get full time positions over more skilled applicants.
This infuriates me. I literally would be in a better situation to be hired had I not have had any technical background, taken this particular bootcamp and finally net the elusive entry level position I need.
And guess what? That move has antagonized the existing male employees who see that they have zero interest and zero competency instead of having an integrated workplace.
10/10 for incredible bullshit.6 -
So Microsoft removed the transparency Aero Glass effect going from Windows 7 to 10, to make 10 more "modern", even though 7 was pretty as fuck with that transparency.
Now they're bringing it back with their wanky "acrylic" blur?
Make up your mind Microsoft6 -
Fuck your clients, right...? A small town bank I’m doing some security work for; I had them create me a test account. I received an email with my password; are you fucking serious...?3
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TWO QUESTIONS:
1. Do you consider yourself a DEVELOPER or a PROGRAMMER?
2. How do you personally define each?16 -
How do working professionals find time to learn new tech? Work all weekdays... Shit tired on weekends this happens for few months and suddenly kids are b building ai and stuff and u just feel dumb.. how do you guys do it? How do you stay on top of the game?7
-
How do you usually learn a new language?
My way is to start a project, then figure it out as I go.
I find that books and tutorials are usually better reserved for learning concepts or frameworks.2 -
"How do we share access to two-factor authentication."
What you mean is "how do we defeat the purpose of multi-factor authentication."
4 -
I: Do you have any questions for us?
Me: How do you maintain an AGILE development team?
I: Have you heard of TRELLO
triGGERRED6 -
Today I was trying to convince a colleague that:
fun example(){
if(thing){
//Do something
}
}
Is stupid because it should be
fun example() {
if (thing) {
//Do something
}
}
It's the small things that are the most frustrating14 -
How do you get your Dev stickers? Do you gather them on events or do you actually buy them? And where do you buy them?
I am just curious about the best strategy...😅5 -
Do you live alone? Do you work hard and barely have time to do things?
Please tell me how you eat 3 meals of healthy food. If you do of course..9 -
How many hours do you put in daily at your day job? Do you go home and work on personal projects? How much time do you put into that? Are you married? Do you have children?
I'll go first:
- 8
- sometimes, probably about 1 hour a day.
- yes
- 3 kids
Your turn!27 -
Why on Earth are people letting management tell them how to code? It is not their job to know how to do it. Much less to tell you how to do it.8
-
Developer vs non developer interview:
Non developer:
How well do you know excel ?
Developer:
How would you write spreadsheet app, what if it was cross platforms mobile application but also desktop app ?
Non developer:
Do you know how to use windows?
Developer:
Do you know kubernetes, distributed systems, lambdas, cloud services and how to deploy to server farm ?
Non developer:
You know how to use printer / fax and coffee machine ?
Developer:
Do you have experience in writing code for embedded devices ?
Non developer:
Do you know powerpoint ?
Developer:
How well do you know javascript / html / css, are you comfortable with writing backend node.js code or electron applications ?
React native and native apps maybe ?5 -
You know those ‘Pumped up’ days where you can just do anything? How do we make this an everyday thing? 🤔5
-
are there some graphic designers here? 😎
Do you code?
Did you learn some stuff here on devRant? What did you learn?
What do you design mostly?
How do you deal with programmers who don't obey your design specs because they're lazzy fucks? muhaha 😆
how do you think this profession will evolve in the next 10 years?
and you devs, what do you think of us? what are your experiences with designers? good and bad ones?8 -
How do you write your "identity" in your code so that others can see that it's you who made it?
Do you do it with a simple "made by" or do you write more?17 -
Windows got upgraded to creators update.
Ever since it has updated, the battery life has decreased drastically, laptop used to last around 8.5 hours of daily usage, now its down to 3.
WTF, man.
I know surface has got its pro's, but shit, 5 hours of battery loss is no joke and certainly a big task to achieve.4 -
Devs with young kids: how the hell do you do it?
I am a foster parent for my cousin who is 4 months old and I don’t know how in the fuck to make this work. How do you do it? How do you balance code and kid?
For reference I work full time at a tech support place, I go to school full time, and I’m trying to pivot into software development, which means any free time is spent coding/studying code/building a portfolio. Problem is I don’t have free time because of the baby. How in the hell do people do this.3 -
I turned my custom phone wallpaper into shirts, covers and other things. How do you like it? Would you wear it or would you improve it?
https://redbubble.com/de/people/...
7 -
So, a few days ago I went on an interview for a position as a web developer, and during the interview they tell me they are thinking about getting into hosting, and that if they decide to do so I would be the one responsible for managing all of it.
I have no idea how to set up web servers, let alone make sure they can handle heavy loads and so on, so I'd be taking on a huge responsibility and workload, along with the task of making websites.
The company consists of 5 designers, and at the moment, no developers, and they have about 30-40 customers, all with sites that would need to be moved to the new hosting platform.
My question to you all is this:
How much does quality hosting equipment cost, and is it really worth it for such a small company to get into hosting, or should they rather look to make a deal with an existing host for some kind of monthly kickback/rebate?
I'm thinking they should find an existing host and enter some kind of partnership, as that would be easier and safer than doing all the hosting inhouse.
What do you guys and girls think?5 -
"How do you do an NSLOOKUP?" Random developer today.... seriously, you've been a developer for two decades, and you don't know how to do an NSLOOKUP? Or at least how to Google to do an NSLOOKUP?
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How do you do to get going quickly again after leaving code unfinished? To-do comments? Separate notes? Something else?6
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Do any of you, especially freelancers, get paid in bitcoin? How do you set that up so it’s easy for clients to pay and for you to get paid? How do you convince clients to pay that way?5
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just wondering: how much of your programming / development is based on your memory and how much do you use Google just for a reminder and how much do you ude Google for the entire code?2
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How do you become a PM?
Do you need computing science knowledge? And at which point in your career do you lose it?5 -
How do you guys manage your dotfiles? How do you organize them and prevent your home directory from filling up?7
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How often have you gotten gigs/jobs where you felt you are overworked and underpaid. How do you deal with such clients and jobs1
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Freelancers: How do you get your Clients? How do you convince them of what you can do for them? Any articles, tips, experiences and stories appreciated!8
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What did you guys do for your final year projects in college? If you did cs that is. And how well did you do?3
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When you create a website how do you get it with your choosen domain in the internet, do you need own server or something?8
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How much time at work do you usually spend purely coding? How often/quick do you get bored/tired? I’m just curious what fellow developers feel like.9
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Anyone who is working for Oracle here? If so what do you do and how you feel about working for them?4
-
Context: remote work.
These are 2 questions so bare with me:
How do you deal with under communicating team member?
And what do you do when you have a burnout?8 -
Do you guys do any sort of meal planning / prepping (based on caloric intake / macro nutrients)? If so how much time is usually spent on the plan itself, and how long in the kitchen? Also how did you come up with said plan?
23 -
Hey, to all programmers here :) ...
What do you do when you don't have to code for a day :o...How will you spend this holiday ^_^?8 -
How many hours do you usually spend at office per day? And how many hours do you spend commuting?20
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Curious about developer lifestyles: how many of you do sports or physical activity and what do you do?9
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How do you deal with your juniors when they do any mistakes? Do you praise them when they overcome any challenges they were facing? Do you blame them rather correcting them? Do you balance both praise and blame to them? Just curious. 😅5
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I'd argue to say that committing often, even if the commits aren't always meaningful, has saved me numerous times from bad code gone awry.
-
Newbies advice:
Never reject a task you don't know how to do just because you feel you wont be able to do it.2 -
How many of you are working remotely for a company in another country?
And how do you find that job?1 -
For the people that do self hosting (from home for example) of website, how do you actually link a domain name bought online and your home public IP and how do you make forward http calls back and forth between the two?11
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What do you do when you get demoralised and are unable to understand anything. Don't know where to start ,how to do it and where to end??
-
Just interested about regular office
Do you have dresscode?
How do you feel about it?
How do you think, it's okay to have dresscode at all, or you would prefer half naked coworkers in red boxers rolling around on hoverboard if they get shit done fast and good?2 -
How do you guys work with forms on backend? Do you have framework in your language or do you work with raw body, parsing and validating everything with your own tools?7
-
Do you make notes for the stuff you learn as a developer,
feel fee to discuss how you do it, like do you write a detailed blog post or write in your notebook6 -
How do you enjoy a life where you don't wanna do evil and you reserve your rights to recompense for evil done against you?1
-
How does Programmer enjoy their Life?
Girl: Do you drink?
Programmer: No.
Girl: Have Girlfriend?
Programmer: No.
Girl: Then how do you enjoy life?
Programmer: I am a Programmer
8 -
How do you motivate yourself to start a programming project and what do you do to decide which project to go for?5
-
Do you use rust for production apps? if yes:
1. which framework do you use to build the server?
2. how do you work with mongodb?
3. how do you handle authorizations?
4. any beginner friendly project idea?1 -
Do you Place Easter eggs in your projects? If so, where and how do you place them on web projects? :P6
-
You know when a designer either knows nothing about UI/UX, or even worse doesn't give a shit about it, when you see their designs. You ask them how do I get to this page or how do I do this and they simply answer they forgot to design it, or can't explain how to in a simple fashion.
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How do you guys actually estimate any given task..?? What do you consider..?? Or do you just guess it as per experience..??7
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How do you feel when you are actively looking a new job, but you get a rejection mail. How were you able to handle such feeling (good or bad)?5
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How many hours do you program each day? How many hours do you program until you make a break?
I am looking for a way to work efficiently and healthily.6 -
In your labour time at job, how many hours or how much time do you spend searching information in Internet? And what pages do you usually look? (stackoverflow, coderanch?)1
-
- "what does that function do?"
- "I don't know"
- "how you don't know !? you are maintaining the project."
- "how do I know what 'ConvertFromDataTableToOther' will do !! it has two inner loops that exchange some columns!"
When CEO is doing code review .. -
I may have asked this before...
Freelancers, what do you do wrt marketing / how do you find clients?10
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