Dells XPS are made of magic. [long story, major fuckup, 10k+ damages]

It all started in December. One morning I was late to work, drove there as fast as possible. (I live like 3 minutes away so me being late really meant *late*) Parked my car in a secluded car park, grabbed my backpack and ran to work. The car park is like 100 meters away from work so I took my feet into my hands and ran. Next thing I know my heels loose all grip while I go down a small slope and I drop on my back full force. On a sharp edged stone. With only my 1700$ XPS in it. Fuck.

I paniced, but got up and ran to work. I checked on the notebook, praying it would boot. It booted! Holy shit. I flipped the notebook and saw two small dents in the aluminum shell. I was thorougly impressed. I later discovered that it left a small shadow on the display, but given what a hit that was (I am not exactly a lightweight), impressive would be a massive understatement.

Fast forward to February, I am weighing my options to get the screen replaced maybe, as damage on my hardware (even if neglectable) triggers some sort of OCD and makes me feel bad 24/7. Also my laptop tends to shut off from time to time, looked into the Event Viewer and saw kernel panic. I figured that the battery probably still took a hit and that it drops voltage from time to time and the kernel assumes a critical situation, thus shutting off.

It stayed quite snowy in Austria up until March, so occasional snowing wasn't rare. Got out of work one day, saw it snowed a bit. Whatever. I had my moms car at the time, so I tried if it would slide a bit if I donut on the now (5pm) empty parking space. Nothing. Drove done a small hill, ABS triangle lit up red (board computer can't outbalance the snow). I drove out to the main street where everything was salted and drove along towards my house. Took a turn into my street, accelerated for a bit and then went off the gas so the car would smoothly drive along with the speed slowly degrading. So I went off the gas and noticed I was a bit to the right, no wonder, centrifugal forces.

*steers left*
"Huh seems like I need a bit more"
*car still doesnt move much*
"What the- go to the left!"
*steers left hard*
"Fuck that wall is coming closer"
*Breaks*
*car doesnt break*
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"

Everything got quiet in seconds, me waking up to an open airbag, ripped pants, a hurting wrist, the radio somewhere on the ground and fumes that smellt like burning wires. I grabbed my backpack that was now somewhere on the floor instead of on the seat and ran outside, tears in my eyes and the phone on my ear calling my mom. I walked inside as she walked outside, hearing a weeping scream that I haven't heard from her since I am alive. While walking inside I noticed my backpack was wet on the bottom, my 2 litre water jug shattered when my backpack hit the dashboard. I tried to stay calm and act rational, knowing that every second counts when It comes to water damage. I hastely searched for some rice and a bag to put my laptop into, stuffed the bag with both and went outside. The car was totaled, my mom pissed and crying. And I was in shock, sad, angry and hurting.

I kept the laptop on my heater for a few days, bagged in rice. I dared to try a boot after a while and you wont believe me, it fucking booted. Even the keyboard backlight worked, just the screen was obviously broken in the back (no color distortion or bad pixel rows though!!) and the aluminum shell had a dent on the front. I talked with Dell Support a few days later, asking if it would be ok to open the XPS up so I could drain all of the water. She said yes thats fine, as long as I dont touch anything or screw around with it.

She said I can send it in and get it checked, but the pickup and analysis will cost 150$ and I can go from there.

I sent it in and estimated that, because battery, screen and other things probably needed changing, it will be around 900$.

Got a call a few weeks later:

"Hello beggarboy, the repair team reported back to us and said that they will have to replace everything, which will be 1700$."

"Fuck... Buying a new one is cheaper.."

"Yeah I know I am sorry about that, I can offer you a voucher so you can buy a new one for 250$ off if you would prefer that"

"Sorry but I will need some time to consider"

"I understand."

The agent clearly noticed I was bummed about it.

After going back and forth what to do I got another call a few days later.

"Hello beggarboy, we talked a few days ago. I have good news"

"Hello, yes, speak up?"

"I was able to get a special offer for you after putting in a few words..."

The next thing she said seemed unreal to me.

She was able to cut 600$ (!!!), making the new offer 1100$, instead of 1700$ or a new one for 1500$. I figured the reason she probably did that was because I am always very polite with support members. Always.

My XPS is back and healty again.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Dells XPS are made of magic.

Every job description out there:
" JUNIOR XY position.
Requirements: 50 years experience of Assembly, Java and Masonry, HTML, cloud based computing and artificial intelligence. Must be able to write algorithms like Hummingbird. Fluent in English, Mandarin and Latin. Must have five doctor and two Bachelor degrees. Experience in leading a Fortune 500 company benefitial.
Renumeration: 5 rice grains"

This is my cute desktop with i3wm and my little project. c:

Ya'll have debug ducks or whatever. But i got a Linux cat.

stove with rice-tracing technology

Nerf this!

My laptop...

Rice in progress...

Merry Christmas from this part of the world.
Who wants some Jollof rice?

love my new baby <3

base set up: antergos/gnome
Additions: i3 gaps/polybar , getting deepin to play with, mpd+ncmpcpp, gonna get cava.

Don't know all of the specs yet,
16 GB ddr3 mem (??rpm)
256gb SSD
1TB HDD
Asus

also worth mentioning that gnome plays well with toutchscreen 😎

this puppy is gonna serve me well

if your code isn't working, try leaving it in rice overnight

Since this post was too long for devrant's 5k sign limit, I split it in several parts. I will try to make each part comprehensible as a standalone post. This is part one of WHY WOULD I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU? saga. A tale of empathy, competence and me being a dick, even though I didn't really want to be one. The part one is titled: "Bad times, good times". It may or may not have any value. It probably won't be funny.

I dedicate this to every single junior or entry level dev out there, struggling to find a job in their field.

=====

What do you think, how long does it take for junior with 6 months of commercial experience to find a dev job? If your answer was "idk", you're right. If your answer was "3 montths maybe", you're also right. At least this is how long it took for me. I am writing this at 2am, couple of hours after I managed to get employed. I am happy. My employer probably is happy too. My recruiters certainly are. The guy whose offer I had to reject after we were almost ready to sign the contract, on the other hand, isn't. He probably hates me. We'll get to that one post at a time.

Let's move back in time a little bit. It's December 12th, 2019. It is third month after I left my family home. I don't ha0ve a job, I was living first in my older brother's apartment for a month, then I started to rent my own. I have literally no money, I'm in debts. I moved out because reasons that would make up for another couple of posts, and for said reasons I refused to get 'any job just to pay the bills'. You can imagine that I was in pretty bad situation, and my psyche didn't really take that shit too well either. My daily meal was a bowl of rice with a little bit of self-hatred on top. Gourmet.

At that time, my daily routine would consist of practicing music, practicing programming, trying to get a job and surviving. Some of my friends just turned their backs against me. I did a small rework of my contact list as well. It was a *hard* time. I had sent my CV to around a hundred different companies with very little to no response. Some of them required at least bachelor's in IT for their frontend dev. Some of them required experience I didn't have. Some of them just didn't care to answer me. And then that one day happened. Three different people wanted to meet me and talk about internships/job offers. I will share what happened next in next posts, but here's a quick spoiler. I got a job. Yes, I am hyped.

Dear fellow Dev. This is a small reminder. If you're having bad times, just remember that if you focus on what you need to do, you will be just fine. Sometimes it may take days of struggling, sometimes it will take months of eating mostly rice. We all... Most of us have been through this.

Next posts will be less inspirationalstufftelling and more storytelling. Let this post be a setup, a small context to keep in mind upon reading my next stories. Because it is quite important. For me and for the story.

This is not unix porn

So since everyone is sharing their setups and I just finished cleaning the desk, here it comes. The rice is still in progress since I switched to NixOS two days ago

I was inspired by ADL to show off my first rice. Need to write some conky scripts to make it a little more interesting on the desktop.

Using i3 as the WM, with more or less vanilla i3status. Thinking of switching over to polybar at some point possibly. I used oomox to make my own theme, so nemo, firefox, and all other system applications are matching. Check her out!

Quarantine Ricing

Ricing after a long time on a secondary system.

That moment when you drop your phone in a sink full of water and have to hope that rice will fix it since you're too poor for a new one right now.

At first, I was skeptical and somewhat resilient of trying Arch Linux. As a former Debian based distros user, I have to say : once you go Arch you don't go back! Time to 🍚 it up a bit more!

How to fucking unscrew this little shit.

I was able to unscrew the rest just fine. But just when I'm down to the last remaining screw, this lone fucker decides to put on a fecken feight.

I already tried everything. I used a screwdriver that fits perfectly. Rotated it for god knows how long. Attached a strong magnet to amplify the screwdriver's magnetic fuckery. Tried unscrewing upside down to add gravitational force. Tried chopsticking the fuck outta it. Slapped the back of it like I slap rice sacks in supermarkets. Ran physics simulations on a supercomputer. Still won't come off.

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

It's just there, looking like it's about to come off with a dip of a magnetic screwdriver but IDK WHY IT WON'T COME OFFKZKKXJZJKZ!!1

You wanna put on a fight? Fine. Resist while you still can. Because once you come off, oh ho... I'm gonna do bad things to you fucker. Imma screw you in your hole till your head spins like crazy. (To screw it back ofc.)

Got ncmpcpp/cava/mpd working! (if you're wondering why it's ubuntu, just read a few rants ago :'^> ) and loving it. i gues i'll just open this up for people to post rices or any sort of pretty config. i still shill arch, just not if you like steam and have an nvidia graphics card! i'm in school and i don't really have time to sit down and learn what i broke and how to fix it, even if its a minor issue.

Me to my team:

Let's cook some rice this time. Instead of spaghetti. Grains would be separate from each other if we use the right ingredients.

Ascended Anime Nerd

Got started with Dragonball Z when it first came stateside. Brother was borrowing fansubs of the Cell and Buu sagas back when people were wondering if Goku would ever finish Snake Road.

Around that time I started noticing some serious discrepancies between the broadcast translations and the fansubs, and so I decided to cut out the middleman—after all, how hard can it be to learn Japanese?—and did a search on AltaVista for a “kanji course”, turning up a course hosted by Rice University that taught basic Japanese using Magic Knight Rayearth and YuuYuu Hakusho.

Turns out the answer to the difficulty question is that anything van be simple to learn, if you don’t know it’s supposed to be hard. Especially if you embrace the parts everyone else dreads (falling in love with kanji, in my case).

Over the next nine months I ditched my Spanish class—and all my other classes, for that matter—to study Japanese in the computer lab. I was reviewing the lessons, playing JRPGs on SNES9X (stored on a ZIP disk, since every computer in the lab had a ZIP drive), and transcribing the scripts so I could transliterate and translate them thereafter. In a lab that went so far as to uninstall Minesweeper and Solitaire to discourage playing games on school computers, I had free reign to do so openly because the one time I got confronted for playing a game I had 150+ leaves of handwritten transcriptions to show them.

Long story short, by the time I took Japanese 101 9 months later it was like Hermione in Snape’s potions class, since I had already taught myself about 2 years’ worth of material. I then transferred out to a college that did a one-class-per-month “modular” system that basically allowed me to take 8 more Japanese classes full-time for the following year. By the time my exchange trip came up I was sofar ahead of the curriculum I was taking classes alongside the native Japanese students.

Running out of linguistic topics, I did an independent study on classical Japanese literature in its original, unmodernized grammar and orthography. A topic I’m still fairly active with 15 years later.

Moving to a new office this week. The only chinese restaurant nearby is one of those where you get 5 times the amount of rice compared to the meat. Fuck.

Was using tmux with mouse enabled before and now post-reinstall tried tilix, gotta admit - it can replace xfce4-terminal for me entirely, except for rice screenshots, because it doesn't support w3m lol

So - A && B == B && A ?
Not according to my mother. She seems to think that "eat the rice and I'll give you dessert" is different from "give me dessert and I'll eat the rice"

So a couple of days ago some sergeant shit for brains crashed into my parked car, consequently i'm now stuck getting the peasant wagon aka buses.
Today, mr cunt bus driver decides to crash into metal railings on my commute to work, leading to all the pre prepped meals in my bag to smash. My macbook and books were covered in chicken, rice and broccoli with the sweet fucking aroma of nando's chicken sauce (10/10 would recommend by the way).

Now, I'm not one to think about the existence of some fucking deities but if you do exist you're a fucking mouldy scrotum you cunt. What's next, get into work to find all the machines reverted back to windows you absolute dick drip.

For the sake of my humanity stay out of my way for the next week because I'm pretty sure people are going to start receiving swift kicks to the jaw.

Simple Ubuntu i3-gaps rice.

@2lazy2debug Has reminded me that I hadn't posted my desktop as I promised for my 2,000 upvote, so screw it I'll just make it for my 2,500 mark. :P

I'll take not one, but two bowls of rice for this one.

My friend built a PC but forgot thermal compound. His CPU literally melted onto the motnrtboard and I said he can put it in rice.

He hasn’t talked to me in 3 weeks...

@KartSriv @irene @Lor-inc
Thanks for the suggestions.

Ricing Done!!!

Nothing's as fun as unraveling the mystery of how a certain dependency got pulled in transitively....

In a monolith.

With over 1000 dependencies.

Kinda like sorting rice by the size of each grain.

Things that make a friday entertaining.

💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩

Been using Linux for about a year, now starting to customise it. Since it's full of Gnome garbage, I'll test out everything and then do a fresh install. Deadline is September 3rd, if it does not work fast and reliably till then I'll have to get Gnome because I need it for school.

Let the race begin.

Linux-Rice quick-start guide:
Arch
i3
Polybar
Anime tits

when your mom ask you to fix the rice cooker. :( I am a programmer

I'm finally gonna try to organize my dotfiles and get my linux work environment somewhat organized

what tiling WM and terminal based editor will I meme myself into oh boy

Back to using WSL because I suck at installing windows apps on Wine (and that I can't seem to connect to a WiFi with PEAP on Linux that the network admin know how to except on Windows).

So can't exactly rice Windows. I know I can with raindock and all that but its not the same as Linux. So I'm on WSL, installed tmux and wouldn't you know it, I found plenty of dot tmux files on Github.

But alas, its not the same as i3wm but its close.

Laziest habit? Anything done between 1pm-4:30pm and 4:59pm-8pm. During that time, habits include unnecessary refactoring, poking the CI/CD containers, editing already made prototypes in gimp inkscape, pasting stackoverflow topics to youtube, bouncing from macOS, windows and kde distros in search of zen/rice, adding a calendar emoji on my slack :), making useless automation scripts, building on every variable's value change, tinkering pixels, shades, gradients (and their angles), dimens, anim values, anim curves, opacity, blurs and just nuking the ui just to copy paste an old one, 60% just chatting in code alongs, changing key bindings (from ide to OS), and ultimately zoning out on a podcast about cyber security. And of course: waiting for ++ and comments

TD;DR: I have school instead of vacation but 5 hours of spare time. I got my laptop with me and I'll work in school.

I didn't want to take part of the course-trip with the 12th graders (my course sucks, there are too many assholes for the neutral people to compensate). After speaking with the director, and the only condition was to tell the course why. I did deliver them a nicely put "fuck you, you bullied my only friend out of this school" and now is the time where I visit the 11-graders while the other 12-ers are on "school vacation".

I got a "new" plan for the courses I should visit. Today, Wednesday, I have 5 FUCKING FREE HOURS IN A ROW. Oh yes, baby, the teacher generating the plan hates me as well. (He really does but it's probably just unlucky not his fault).

So today, I decided, I would take my heavy-ass laptop with me, in a laptop bag, which doesn't fit into the school bag I have and my laptop doesn't fully fit in the laptop bag as well (sticks out), that's the perks of having a laptop!!
— so I can work on my (I wanna say this once in my life without being a professional) "CLIENTS PROJECT" - the funny thing is that the client is a (really fucking good but small) advertising agency and too lazy to design their own website. Since I had my internship, they know how hard I *can* work even without being payed. Now they do wanna pay me but that's another story.

I'm on the bus and I have this monster of a bag which isn't lighter than a freaking huge bag of rice and I'm so fucking excited for this day. The library is my best friend. Hopyfully I'm going to find a socket for power..

Sorry for so many commas, I'm german. :D

After weeks of burning the candle at both ends you finally get a good night's sleep.

You wake up and either have a skin condition or a beard had grown and you didn't notice. All joints sound like a bowl of rice crispies when you move and you're seriously beginning to identify with Rip Van Winkle.

"At the end of the day, pretty colors make people drool. " - Nathan Rice

Using manjaro xfce for personal use for like a year and despite not distro-hopping I'm kind if sick of it

Last week was the first time I used macOS at work at I loved it.

I want a better user experience for my personal computer, but I'm too lazy to rice and mod everything from acratch all over again.

I heard elementaryOS has a mac-like UX. Anyone can reccomend?

Knowing C thoroughly, and not being able to create a decent rice in i3wm.

I have this fried that gives me some advice on how to find work, he said i need to come up with a project idea as something to put on my CV and also as a way to learn front-end dev.

Easy enough if not for the fact that this project should be something that's actually useful and has some concept behind it (like, something that might seemingly work for a startup)

I've been raking my brain for a week now, and all i can come up with is small meme projects, neat but sort of inconsequential experiments, or things that might be useful to me but have no reason to be web-based.
I never realized how hard it is for me to come up with professional-sounding project ideas :D

I'm just not that kind of guy, i don't really have the drive or motivation to do anything professional: If people wanna use my rice or whatever spaghetti software i create they are welcome to, i'll even write them some documentation, but its just kinda out there on the internet because i like sharing. I don't really have any grand product ideas, nor do i really care about what other people think or need.

What's your coding fuel? I often have pies at work so I guess that's mine. Aside from coffee of course!

Also damn, Asian noodles are strong! Got some imported ones from a local Spar. Decided to try the spicy one first since I'm not usually a spicy food guy. I couldn't get more than 3 bites in before I had to throw it away. Decided to have some of the Rice vermicelli I made instead.

One of these days i'm gonna pop a blood vessel, trying to keep all my dotfiles organized: syncing the files themselves is easy, just shove them into git, the problem is that i have to install dependencies on different distros (Arch, Debian and Ubuntu):

The package names are different, the paths are different, fuck with Debian i need to compile from source anyway because most of the packages i need aren't available. Its taking me so much time writing distro-specific installers, just so i can deploy my setup on different machines...

Its at times like these that you appreciate just how mind-boggling fragmented Linux is as a platform :D

gonna rice up i3 real nice and classy on my new laptop.
do any of you know of a good spotify cli? i'm getting cmus in case spotify dosen't work, but it would save space if i could use spotify

A robot that code fried rice. Don't judge! I like fried rice.

I burned the rice

It's been for a while that I'm dreaming about food ordering company where I can choose from the different foods in the way of: " I want 100g rice, 150g brokkoli, one baked potato...". Probably the calorie would be automatically added up maybe even the macros. The assembled packages for a week will come every day or single order would be possible as well. It's a so beautiful idea. Here we have some similar companies but they deliver raw stuff so there's still a hustle to cook it... And of course there is the fastfood nightmare... Imagine you could eat stuff you assemble yourself, you know the calories as well and there is no overhead of shopping and cooking. Basically every single all-you-can-eat could implement the idea. I'm really sorry that there's no such service. :( One day if I get really angry I will start it...

I was looking for a new job, but, after some days my boss give me a rice.
Did he smell it?

A friend gave me a couple of Corona beers as a joke and now I can't decide on what quarantine burrito to make.
chicken with rice & beans or BBQ pork with coleslaw?

Almost ready with my first rice
Already had enough of Dracula.
Guess next time I'll be a bit more careful when selecting a palette.

Soon I'll reinstall my linux system. (Currently Antergos + KDE). People keep mentioning arch, i3, and rice. I wanna give it a try. Any suggestions or hints you guys can give me beforehand?

Anyone here tried to i3 rice antergos? I am new to the subject and I prefer to stick with antergos instead of pure arch.

Tender beef slices are cooked in a delicious, thick broth and served over chewy wheat noodles to create the hearty and tasty Taiwanese Beef Noodles meal. Garlic, ginger, green onions, soy sauce, and rice wine, along with other savory ingredients, infuse the broth with a depth of flavor that is gratifying and soothing. This meal, which can be served with optional garnishes such pickled mustard greens, bok choy, cilantro, and chile oil, is a mainstay of Taiwanese cooking and is renowned for its hearty flavor and comforting attributes.

I started a rice after 3 years of happily using KDE, and apparently everything uses CSS for styling now? I'm not complaining, Polybar offered like 4 options and we just played around with glyph fonts, compared to that this is a joyride.

Also, Eww is brilliant. I've seen people make full fucking UIs and custom notification centers and shit with it. I don't have that much time on my hands, but the option is there. All this with janky Lisp and Sass.

Eww also confirmed a suspicion of mine regarding Orchid; language adoption is a matter of convenience. I can get people to learn my language by offering cool trinkets and useful tools to people who have a predisposition to learning. Yuck is an aptly named language but it's not totally unusable, and because I had to learn it to make my status bar I'm now more inclined to write the corresponding scripts in it as well and I'm actually quite disappointed that I have to use Bash for that.

How yesterday should have ended:
- completed vimtutor
- Arch installed on my laptop
- arch rice (essential)
- arch configured to consume as little battery as possible

How it ended:
- no working pendrive found in my house. FML

I know I already posted a rant/meme on installing Linux (I gave up cause too many problems) but this time it was for real. I'll try again today with a borrowed pendrive.

TrumpScript is one funny programming language that was formulated by four Rice University undergraduates. TrumpScript allows developers to operate with numbers that are bigger than one million. If programmers user numbers less than a million then it will generate a quote from Donald Trump as an error message: ”I’m really rich, Part of the beauty of me is I’m very rich.”

So apparently uncle Ben's rice logo is getting the chop... I fucking hate these sjw cunts, get a grip or fuck off and die in a ditch somewhere you bunch or fucking maggots!

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