Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?

Teacher - Yes

A group of people stand up and walking to the door

Teacher - Where are you all going ?

Students - We are going to drop this class.

Client: There is a high severity production issue.. you need to fix urgently..

Developer: I am on the way.. Will fix it once I reach home.

Client: I don't care where you are. Fix it right now😡😡

Developer

I don't know who, or where you are. But want to let you know the test was successful.

Substitute Teacher who apparently majors in Java sees my copy.
T - Your programs are incomplete
M - You mean ?
T - Where are the braces ?
M - Its Python
T - It works ?
M - Yes
T - It works on linux ?
M - Yes -_-

Girl: What's your idea of the perfect date?

Me: dd/mm/yyyy, others formats are confusing

Me: Wait where are you going

Where are you Kevin?

Mail from client: There is a bug in project.
Me: mmmmkay where is it?
Client: How shitty developer you are! You should find it.
Me:f*ck you i'm out

"Dad, where does the babies come from?"
"Well...err...um...do you have any other questions left?"
"What are you doing as a developer?"
🤔
"Ok...let's talk about babies..."

Where are you DenverCoder9???

You: I am working on an Instagram clone just for fun. Want to take a look?
Friend: Sure. Where are all the filters?
You: They are a work in progress.
Friend: Instagram is better.

Debugging: being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer.

Ok, rubber ducks are ducking helpful, but I moved to use actual ducks.

If you are currently stuck somewhere where your rubber-mate cannot help out, feel free to ask. I’ll forward.

So you mean to tell me that this is where all my documents are stored?

Interviewer: For this next code challenge you will not be allowed to use the internet, or an IDE.

Dev: …

Interviewer: OR a keyboard OR a mouse. I will be verbalizing the code to you and you need to memorize it and tell me where the bugs are.

Dev: …

Interviewer: We must do this exercise to know how you are as a dev without any performance enhancing “aid”. This way we can understand where you are truly at skill-wise, and what you are truly worth from a compensation perspective.

Dev: …

Dev: If I get a job with you will I be allowed to use the internet and an IDE and a keyboard/mouse?

Interview: Of course you would! Getting anything done without those is just about impossible. We just need to evaluate you without them to see how good you REALLY are.

Dev: …

Debugging /dēˈbəɡ'ing/
1. Being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer

*Interview for 6 month placement*

Say you are chosen for the job; where would you see yourself in 5 years?

Now there was this meeting where our boss called our team to reach at exactly 8:00 . One minute more and you will be fired.
Turns out he himself reached at 8:15 for the meet. And we were just staring him, wanting to say, "Hey boss, you don't need to come anymore. YOU ARE FIRED."

Programmer after using go-to:

"HONEYYY! Where Are You?"

When I turn off my laptop and the mouse starts blinking because it is trying to connect to the host I imagine a young boy in the fields shouting "Papa? Daddy where are you? [Crying] Papaaa"

To all the design pattern nazis..

Don't you ever tell me that something is impossible because it violates some design pattern! Those design principles are there to make your life easier, not something you have to obey by law.
Don't get me wrong, you should where ever possible respect those best practices, because it keeps your software maintainable.
But your software should foremost solve real world problems and real world problems can be far more complex than any design pattern could address. So there are cases where you can consciously decide to disregard a best practice in order to provide value to the world.

Thanks for reading if you got this far.

TL;Dr be specific, it's actually helpful.

Client rings... "The internet is down"

Me "ok where are you exactly and how are you connecting"

"Ugh the WiFi! Just fix it"

"Ok but where are you?"

"At $companyname"

"Ok and which wi..."

"The wifi?!! Can you do anything right?"

Well... I'm allowed flexibility in terms of pleasantry...

"Ok, there are 3 buildings, 55 rooms, 2 SSID's, 17 access points, 3 routers a RADIUS server and 2 gateways... Be specific or I'll do nothing"

Simple reboot of an access point, but c'mon... It's not a secret where you are

Free trials where you have to provide your credit card details beforehand are not really free trials.

”Are you planning on having kids in the near future?”

Literally (very) illegal to ask where I live. Too bad I was too young to understand the severity of him asking.

Worst place I’ve ever worked.

Where dafuq is the tabs or spaces?!?!?

They are trying to teach people to code... But they don't use any tabs or spaces in their examples. Wtf. You are breeding shit coders.

"You can't do everything using PHP"

Well that's where u are wrong kiddo!😉

Girlfriend: babe where are you?
Me : at the gym
Girlfriend: waoh nice babe
Me: ya the system crashed again
Girlfriend: oh I went too far
Hahaha

ok, companies that use a robotic automated attendant on on they main phone where you are supposed to describe vocally your problem can actually fuck off and die.

I hate you so much.

I do not understand the people that say that they hate C-like languages, because of the ; and {} they have, that are "confusing".
Like almost every modern IDE/editor pinpoints EXACTLY where you forgot something...

Work, the haiku:
(Plus more Dilbert)

“Where are you on this?”
“I’m where JIRA says I am”
“Ok, but how far?”

Where are you DenverCoder9????? Tell me!!!!
I have a few questions for you.
** Hysterical laughs **

Client: There is a high severity production issue.. you need to fix urgently..

Developer: I am on the way.. Will fix it once I reach home.

Client: I don't care where you are. Fix it right now😡😡

See the developer!!!

The moments when you grow the most as a person are those where you have a big axe in your hand, ready to shout through the office WHICH OF YOU LOWLY SPERMSLURPING JERKS FORGOT TO WRITE A FUCKING TEST FOR THIS METHOD

...only to see your own name appear in git blame.

1: Man did you see the latest windows build fucked up design?
2: What are you mean?
1: I MEAN NOT ALIGNING REFRESH BUTTON ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU PRESS IT.
2: What??? Where???

I gave lift to an old man. Starting the conversation
He: what do you do?
Me: I am a software engineer
He: Nice....... where do you get the material to build a software?
Me: mmmmm google or stackoverflow
He: maybe they are new in market, never heard of them

Corporate joke

A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost...

*She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below :-*
_"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."_

*Man below replied :-*
_"You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude."_

*Lady :-* _"You must be an engineer."_

*Man :-* _"How do you know?"_

*Lady :-* _"Everything you told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I'm still lost."_

*Engineer :-* _"You must be in Top Management."_

*Lady :-* _"Ya. How do you know?"_

*Engineer :-* _"You don't know where you are or where you're going, you have no technical knowledge._
_You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!

The awkwardly embarrassing moment when you realise your junior, a fresher out of college, knows more than you... Shittt... Why kids are so fucking smart these days!!! I'm looking for a place where I can go and just hide from the world. If you know one, please help.

Bill Gates where are you ?😁

I remember reading a comment on here that as developers, we are really authors. And that has changed how I write (and even read) code. I don't remember who and where it was, but whoever said that: Thank you.

When you're so many fucking multi-dimensional arrays deep. You don't even know where the fuck you are anymore and you just wish you had been a doctor instead.

Most jobs are shit. Find a place where you like your coworkers and development practices. Most other things are secondary to your mental well-being.

1. When you are inexperienced, probably you’ll need to accept any job.
2. Learn and discover what you prefer to working on.
3. Become an expert on you desired field.
4. You can choose where you would like to work.
Remember friends: Life is to short to work for an asshole.

Started a new job.

Got called at 8.30 on Tuesday with the question:”Where the hell are you? You should be starting today!”. I replied:”I thought I started on Friday?!?”. We were both wrong, I should have started on Thursday 😑.

!rant
My work does this contest where they email everyone a puzzle where you have to guess a safety slogan. They give you maybe 1-2 letters in each word and there are about 5 or 6 words. So I found a list of every word in the English language online, I imported it into a database and I ran a few queries to return all possible words for each, depending on the length of the word, and where the letter hints are placed. I haven't missed one puzzle so far. :D

p.s. I told my girlfriend and she said, "I am dating a nerd".

first time on devRant ... kinda amazing

Finally, A Place where people understand you, who you are and what you're talking about. You don't have to feel weird when you post those dev rants..haha thanks Dave and Tim for devRant.

When you can't figure out where you are supposed to add your code in the teams massive android spaghetti codebase. So you just add logs to every function that might be related to track down the function you need.

Fucking idiots. How fucking stupid are you? We're in 2016 now, where basically `.motherfuckerslutshitasscunt` has the potential to become a TLD. And you still can't validate a motherfucking *.online email? FUCK YOU. I will NOT be using your SHIT MOTHERFUCKING RECRUITMENT SERVICES. DIE.

My mobile provider doesn't allow me to set a password that contains any other symbol than letters and numbers for the website where you can look at how much data you consumed (and can order new data, change plans, etc.). Are you kidding me. This is making shit insecure, you fucks!

that moment when you get mor notifications from devRant than Facebook you feel like you're home, like you know you are finally where you belong

That complete mental block when you know where you want to be and you know where you are but you look at the code and it's like looking at alphabet soup 😞

Starting a new project in a new company. After 4 hours of training and receiving all kinds of new information another collegue passes by and says:

"Hey! So where are you from?"

"I... Don't know..."

Discussed my Internet privacy campaign - Google-free, encryption where possible, didn't even mention VPNs - with 2 people and they've both asked, "why, what are you hiding?"

Ever have those days where you are not sick but definitely not capable of work?

When you automate so much stuffs that you forget where the config files are at.

Started writing an operating system several years ago. Taught me just about everything I need to know about computers.

Oh, and make NES games. That teaches you a lot about how we arrived to where we are today.

Me: I have to switch to linux, this windows sucks. *click restart

Windows: where are you going baby

!rant
Today I realised that we are in that point of history where the sentence "my grandma plays this videogame better than you" can not only be an insult, but a matter of fact.

FUCK

Have you ever worked with people that constantly asks you what to do? People who are in the same spot as you, I mean.

- Hey, you should start debugging this while I finish this menu
+ So what's failing?
- I don't know man, but there's a bug
+ But where?
- You should look for it, I'm trying to link this to the controller
+ How can you not know?
- Do you know?
+ Where should I look for it? Here?
- ...
(One crappy solution after) + Here it is, I'm moving to something else
- ...

When you are a dev/designer and you see an invoice with £225 for making a favicon with an existing logo, you know where most Web Agencies stand.

I was wondering, where the devRant community comes from. Where are you guys from?
I am from switzerland

A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost...

She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below: Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.

Man below replied: You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude.

Lady: You must be an engineer.

Man: How do you know?

Lady: Everything you told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I'm still lost.

Engineer: You must be in Top Management.

Lady: Ya. How do you know?

Engineer: You don't know where you are or where you're going, you have no technical knowledge.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!!
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

I hate it when code line are structured like this.Get().Start().Trim().Where(a=>a.id = newId).ToList().ConvertAll(...).EndMaybe().Name

Are you a fkin compiler or what

Finally found a place where I can relate. Where are you ranting from?
Honduras here 😄

Yes I am a developer and I am good at soccer, come on you naive idiot standing in front of me in complete awe, the days where these things were mutually exclusive are long gone! 🤓⚽️

Where are you now? 😔😔

Introducing. Snapchat privacy invasion. You can see where your added friends are if they do not disable it (enable ghost mode).
Good job :)

Has anyone ever taken on a project where you dont know what you are getting yourself into, and then start it and going down the rabbit hole of docs and then at some point ask yourself "what the f u c k am i doing?"

Notice :

All citizens are hereby informed to check all of their e-mails and click on each and every link in the e-mail so as to check where does the link redirects you.
Active cooperation is expected from everyone.

Thank you for Cooperating, have a nice day :)

FUCK, I just realized something..

A lot of people are probably aware of the statement "Respect is earned, not demanded/given".

Now, if you are aware of the meme "Press F to *pay respect*", you probably know where this goes.

The statements "pay respect" and "respect is earned" are actually connected. Just like money, you pay money to people who deserve it. You work hard for it.

But if this is true, is "attention" also earned? I often hear "Please pay attention" from my teachers back then.

This is some big brain shit right here

Someone put a fucking \b in this dataset I'm working with, which just so happens to be an illegal character for xml.
FUCKING HOW. FUCKING WHY. FUCKING WHERE ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU WANT TO SEE ME SUFFER THIS MUCH

Can you guess where the form fields are?

It's the grey area.

Not, not that one, the other grey area.

I feel like a lot of people in Dev Rant are web developers. There's nothing wrong with that but sometimes I feel disconnected from all of you. Where my Firmware Engineers at? 🤓

I REALLY HATE IIS. IT IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING PLATFORM. FUCK. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY FUCKING ERROR LOGS YOU STUPID PIECE OF FUCKING CRAP. FUCKING KILL ME YOU STUPID SERVER ASS BITCH CUNT

Have you ever reach a point where you lost any desire or mood to do anything? Like when you don't even want to rant about the fuckedupshit you are in.

'We are a fast paced team where you will have a lot of opportunity for growth'
Do you sponsor conference tickets?
No
Can I get some programming books?
No
Do I get chance to goto meet ups?
If you can meet the deadlines and have free time.

... How am I supposed to learn then?
STACKOVERFLOW

YOU ARE YOUR OWN TEACHER. The failures I got in the past , failed to build a simple app , I get to where I am today because I failed many times.

My best teacher for this will always be my mistakes , my mistakes are the greatest teacher

Donate to Wikipedia one time and they haunt you for life. They’ll send you email after email and they are all rather ridiculous. On top of that be prepared to be hounded by phone as well. They are the equivalent of a roadside bum that keeps asking you for more, and each time you give he says, “Is that all you got?”. Frack whoever put this strategy in place, they’ve annoyed me to the point where I’d rather not give again.

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime drama where you are also the murderer.

Just developer things...
Debugging mode be like: dunno where you are or how you work bitch... But Imma gonna find ya

“Debugging” is like being the detective in a crime drama where you are also the murderer.

You ever can't figure out how to do something elegantly during the day, end up with a weird hack. But then when you are home and are lying on the couch browsing memes the perfect solution pops into your head?

Companies should give us thinking couches where you can slack off waiting for the idea.

That's the reason why I'm still using Windows 10 Insiders builds...when you get into GSoD, you can shoot nice photo where you actually are. For me right now, that's the cafe in the shopping center.

Where are you right now?

Where are you guys from?

Are there many people out there like me who don't subscribe to the whole "software to help you write software" malarkey? Resharper being a big one where I work!

Just give me a nice lean code editor.

Days where some new website is going to production are the worst.

14 hours of pain are finally over. Insanity is close.

FTS.
Finally sleep. Thank you for the overtime, not.

Ideas for future weekly question:

- Where will you see yourself in 5 years?
- Do you automate tasks when developing and what kind of automation do you write yourself or use?
- What do you think about hooking up with someone from work?
- What are your thoughts about books in IT?
- How do you make your workplace comfortable?
- How would you change your company if you became the boss today?
- What are your thoughts about the future of computer input devices (kb & mice)?
- What are your prevention measures agains Skynet?
- When will HL3 be released?
- What's the solution to everything?

Flexbox.. Where have you been all these years?!

When I initially started learning web development I remember thinking 'someone didn't quite think this through..' about centering block elements etc in the dom. Those days are now over, I still believe in miracles.

“Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.”

This rant is not about avoiding bad company but instead: If you find your self in a bad company make sure to note what is bad in terms of:
1. What is wrong?
2. Is it wrong by your book or by everyone's book?
3. How things should be done if you were in charge?
4. Are you able to be productive if those "wrong" things where done correctly? For example if they should have used gitlab cli for auto deployment, do you know how to do that? No? Learn. Yes? Move to the next item in the list

There is no way to avoid bad companies unless you are really lucky, just make the best out of where you are now :)

Rock up at work 10:30.

"What are you doing out your wanking chariot this early?"

"Aye, was there a fire where you live or something?"

Good thing I have flexitime!

Are you fucking kidding me Jenkins :@ Where is the step 2? AAAAAGGGGHHHH

*Dont you want to become a professional python dev?“ Take this course on udemy.

DONT YOU WANT TO SHUT UP AND SHOW ME AT LEAST ADS THAT ARENT PISSING ME OFF THAT MUCH? I learn where else because these tutorials are the biggest bs on the planet.

Black Friday is the time where you consider to buy a new laptop and finds that laptop companies don't know how to make one for programmers. Either they are shit or they are gamer laptop that have 2~4 GB of video memory you will never use and costs thousands of dollars.
Is it hard to make one with good CPU, RAM and a SSD without concluding that you are a hardcore gamer and you need an expensive video card along with it?

One time i forgot that there are languages where you have to explicitly return stuff and spent a good 20 minutes debugging why
function a() { 2 }
didnt work

maybe Step 2 didn't make it.
maybe it decided to leave and disappear.
or maybe, it was destroyed by an underpaid, overworked dev who holds grudges against Step 2.

Wherever you are, I'd miss the step that I didn't have to take to make the plugin works.

Hate it when PO assigns an issue to me when it's five to beer o clock

Working on a database where every column name are acronyms. No, the 2-5 seconds you just saved yourself from typing are not worth it, it’s so easy to make a self-documenting database but you had to fuck that up.

What you would do in a situation where your manager tells you to do "A" and your team lead tells you to do "B".
A and B are solutions to the same problem that we are trying to solve. Lead says the manager is wrong and Manager says they are correct.

Mind of a programmer in an Interview be like:-
Interviewer:- What's your name?
Programmer:- My name is Alice. (In mind printf("my name is %s ",name);)
Interviewer:- Where are you from?
Programmer:- India. (In mind location = &India;)

When you are reading job requirements for a dev job and they put a shit ton emphasis on MS Office. I remember a phone interview where they asked skill level for Word, Excel and Outlook.

To the freelancers.

Do you offer web-hosting? What are your experiences? Where do you rent servers? What do you charge?

Thanks in advance

What is this "recruiters called me after yhey found my LinkedIn" thing? Are you telling me there is a world where I don't have to go from door to door to find a job?

I like devrant because this is the only place where I feel that I'm surrounded by intelligent people, and honestly, I needed this badly.
Why are you here?

Do you know what really bothers me for no reason? Developers that have bars on their portfolios displaying a percentage of their skill. WHERE ARE Y'ALL GETTING THIS NUMBER FROM? This really shouldn't bother me, but it does. If life was a video game, you'd be able to open your stats UI, and get these percentages, but where are they getting these numbers from? I've seen some websites that people put SUPER specific number (87%, 36%). Are you 87% of the way to being an expert in NodeJS development? I don't understand. I'm not hating on these people, please don't get offended if you have this on your website :)

For all the Java jokes I see here and people bashing the language, are there any Java devs here? If you are a Java dev, do you enjoy it?

Duolingo used to be better. New updates and restrictions are shit. Specially the whole "take a heart away for a mistake, five mistakes and you can't use the app for hours". Like, I get it, you couldn't manage the traffic. But this is ridiculous. Also, where did the lesson overviews go?

So, the GUI is built by writing YANG files that are then transformed into protobufs and jsons. Protobufs are then digested by GWT to compile java into javascript and HTML. What part of the process you don't understand?
Wait, I actually don't exactly know where the jsons end up being used, but apparently they are being sent by C++ backend to GWT frontend. Somehow.

So... ranters! Where are you from? Let's try to Make a chart with geographic distribution... what do you think?

Anyone have the experience where you are learning a new programming language and you are eager to do stuff with it but you need to use another one for your job? So frustrating!

Oh my fucking god. Austria wants to sell the data of it's citizens to schools, universities museums, and: Companies with enough money. What the fuck?

The data contains shit from the central register of residents, information about name, date of birth, sex/gender, nationality, recidence, health data (!), education, social security/insurance, tax data, E-Card/ELGA Data (system where your doctor visits, prescribed medicines/drugs, all these things, are saved), and other shit.

Welcome to 2018, where you can try as hard as you want to keep your privacy, and then your government sells all the shit you are not able to remove. Fucking bullshit.

*Installing the new ubuntu* Install grub onto the HDD where you are installing the OS, thanks!
*Installer installs grub over Windows Boot Manager on an SSD*..... *sigh*

Is it just me or do other people think those tutorials you run across on YouTube where it is just a screen recording and background music are super annoying. I would like at least a little explanation other than you typing in notepad.

Every now and then you need a kick to your nutsack and vagsack to realize how replaceable you are and be humbled.

For that I am opening a gym where we train for this event by kicking your ball sack.

Interviewer : where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Me: (auto generated random text which doesn't make sense but is fancy) blah blah bla bla bla blah bla bla bla bla blah bla bla ...
My mind: are you hiring a dev or astrologer ?

Companies in my country think that since you are a developer, you must be also a product designer. You must know where to put the button, the table etc.
Especially back end developers.

Removing the CMOS baterry to reset bios is like when you wake up on the hospital bed and you are asking everyone, "who I'm I?", " where I'm I?", "who are you?", "when is today?", "what time is it?".

Anyone here under 16? In that case, where are you from and what made you get interested in programming?

Oh wow Elixir, you are so fancy and beautiful. Where have you been hiding! Can i take you out some time? Maybe a small project? 🤓

A friend of mine wants to start learn HTML/CSS/JS and ask me where to start.
Since I started to write them more than 10 years ago, I have no clue where to start, what good ressources are today and so on.

Therefore: what would you recommend, I recommend her?

Macbook Pro 2016 WHERE ARE YOU?!!?!

I swear sometimes debugging a new piece of code feels like waddling through a sewer, trying to find a clog. You are unsure where you are, everything smells, there are decades of old shit piled up by the sides and once you start tugging it turns out the entire sewer settled onto it and it's as much of a clog as it is a structural element now.

Deployment to production last night, and the whole thing is halted because the DBA didn't find it necessary to show up. 2 hours of calling everyone possible and nothing. Thanks DBA, for your prompt and timely handling of the deployment... 😑

I have a few questions for the people having a 3D printer and/or are interested in 3D printing.

1. Where do you retrieve your models from? Or do you make them yourself?
2. What is your thingiverse name (if you have it)
3. Personally I'm missing a single good information source where questions can be asked, models can be shared etc. Thingiverse doesn't have a mobile UI and is pretty limited in my opinion. I'm thinking of creating a "social media" platform where people can share their creations, collection of information sources about 3D printing. Would you like to help or is there a good alternative for Thingiverse that I have not found yet?

" To push the boundaries, you need to know where the edges are." - Mark Boulton

The last time jeeper posted at all was seven days ago. He said he was sick in his last comment.

I'm pretty sure hes dead jim.

Should we start planning the funeral?

So apparently Google collects geolocation information on Android devices even if location is disabled.
@linuxxx where are you my friend?😂

Have you experience wishing to be somewhere you are alone and quiet where you can do anything and code?

Client sends screenshots, compressed, and shrunk down to an unreadable size, inside a docx file.

Just... just no. Where is a spray bottle or a rolled up newspaper when you need one.

(For you three people who are going to comment 'why don't you just teach them...' ssssssssssshut up, some people are just unteachable ( for you other three who are going to say 'everyone is teachable.' Not true, if it was you wouldn't be saying such things.))

I remember making a site for a client, where whilst registering an account you would get a checkbox for whether you want to signup for the newsletter or not.

But I never added any functionality to that checkbox.

So, whether you check it or not, you would still get the newsletters. 😁😋

I bet there are many other sites, who do this.

Definitely having one of those weeks where bugs/tasks are coming in faster than I can get through them. Just when you think the day can't get much worse, you remember it is only Tuesday. Deep breaths lol

hackathons are just 24 hour contracts where you test some company’s api in exchange for free redbull

Use that Tab button. It's there for a reason. If you are too lazy to use it then use an IDE that formats the code.
Also learn to comment your code wherever needed and in English. If you don't know where it's needed, Google is your friend if not your senior.

"DO NOT USE ISSUES FOR GENERAL SUPPORT.
Issues are for request only. You can use the following:

- Stack Overflow (using the "traefik" tag) (where no question excepted the simplest are ever answered)
- the Traefik community Slack channel (where no one is online)

...

So, what should I put as a title for my "issue"...

Question: Have you ever worked for a toxic company? If so, did do you do something about it? Any tips?

By toxic I mean the abusive kind, where racism and sexism are "just jokes" and where clients are essentially scammed into buying software that doesn't do what they think it does.

What time it is where you are?

Look at the picture. I know what you're thinking...

Believe me.
* I executed save all in VisualStudio
* reset all changes in git
* cleaned working directory with git
* restarted VisualStudio
* double checked if it's the right file
* double checked if there are new changes in git

Fuck this. VisualStudio, you suck.
Where are you taking these informations from if not from the project file!?

@Wisecrack
Hey where is my favourite crazy mathematician nowadays?!? 😀
I miss your posts, so i demand my portions of Wisecrack, like a proper junkie! 😀
Hope You are ok, and everything is fine

Programmers after Writing some successful code be like:-
"Chill, chill just chill"

When that code went into Testing phase:-
"Where are you now? Under the sea.. Under the sea..."

Het AoK, where are you? Missing you.

Just curious where are you devs from.

Is there any devs on here from NZ besides me and some friends.

- You know, I have been showed proofs that there are half days where you almost pushed anything, if nothing, you haven't been productive these days

First off, bitch, I'd like to see you try to make something useful from Drupal.
Second, apologizes but you can't commit nervous breakdowns. Can't say I haven't try.

Developers are the only people that knock off for work at 8pm, and at 7am your project manager wants to see something new on where you left off. What happened to fairness?

Yo, where's @g-m-f at ?
Haven't heard from him in last few months, his puns were sharper than a toothpick and shorter than a 3 minute jack-off

I work in a company, where prototypes become instantly a product... People are far from being an expert in the technologies we use (technologies which were chosen by management without any further research).

Timeframes are more than short, so there is no chance to learn what you need to know to be able to create something really maintainable and stable.

Guess what - that shit is going to be installed at the customer site, where neither we nor them know what to fucking do if something breaks ...

great

Considering applying to a regular administrative job, where I can use just 1% of my dev skills in BAT files, Excel macros, browser automation with Selenium, and people will be like "oh man, you are like a hacker!!!"

How are you supposed to fix bugs in your program where:
1. it has been investigated before and was not found how to reproduce it
2. it cannot be tested at all
3. never happens on the test environment

fml

The meetings where you have to attend the whole thing, but only the few minutes are actually applicable to you.

Let me quietly leave and get back to work.

You haven't any real issues untill you start on DRM.
That stuff i complete blackbox where when something goes wrong you are completely left in the dark?

Been debugging a whole day with a college without luck...

Well I noticed one thing here.

You write any post regarding coding, bad management, juniors or whatever shit, this community welcomes you
But you dare to put wrong tag or category, all are like where the fuck is report button? can I dislike this post bla bla..

Why so with wrong tag

Always Stick to One Task at a Time

Whenever I’m trying to learn how to do new stuff, or if I have a project where I’d have to figure out how to do a lot of things, I try to just pick a particular task and attack that.

Often times in programming, you’ll hold a lot of context in your head depending on what you’re working on, so it’s best to focus on one thing and try to get it done. There are a lot of ways you can tackle a single problem, so a lot of things will depend on what solution you end up choosing. For example, if you’re trying to build a CMS website that build websites where it will deploy things to each user, you could organize a site where it’s a big giant app where everyone has a specific subdomain, or you can make it so that each individual subdomain is a separate instance of your app with configuration changes. There are pros and cons to each approach, so this is where the judgment comes in and why some people say programming is an art, since you constantly have to weigh different tradeoffs.

Sleeping but I accidentally had come up with solution in a coding problem.. there are also times where you can’t sleep and thinking of how to solve the problem but in reality you’re just trying to get some sleep....

Do you work at a company where your manager plays high volume music or are you normal?

is there a google docs for ides? like, real time editing where you can collab while you are?

i think that would be cool.

anyone else?

My love for you I can't describe it,
so I dont't even try and hide it.
Dev. you are my one true passion
you are always there to teach me a new lesson.
Some missing semicolon;
I have searched for you soo long.
Or was it a wrong indent,
ah f**k it was the missing increment.
Thinking through endless loops
in while, for and even do form,
just that my programs do a little better perform.
You give me the possibility to express myself as who I am and who I want to be,
in so many languages, from java, JS, GO, python and even C.
You give me bugs and issues that I track,
from motivation for you I never lack.
There are projects out there, where I contribute to
oh what a beauty are you.
And now you even bring fun into my life
with devrant, I now know how to survive.
How to survive client meetings and non devs around me,
oh how much stupidity I there see.
Let's exit this small programm of mine, this so called rime,
where I an immutable statement define:

I think about you even when we are not together,
My dearest DEV I will love you forever.

Usually spyware had to be installed maliciously or without the victim knowing, but nowadays people fucking use it voluntarily WTF. Bitmoji you fucktwit. Everyone sees where you are, what music you listen to and the users (at least the ones I know) even promote it like it is something good

wat is up with people

Code review today and the senior says "Avoid comments. Putting the procedure in a well named function where it can modify those class properties will work just as well."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU ARE GOING TO PREFER CODE OVERHEAD OVER COMMENTS? I AM SO TRIGGERED RIGHT NOW I CAN'T

I know it's not our nature, but go outside and enjoy the beautiful day today! (as long as its nice where you are).

Yesterday a met a self learned dev. He started electronics at 11 years old. He was homeschooled with no obligations at home. So he ended up doing about 10 hours of electronics a day. Until he got bored of it and realized he could integrate his own programes.

So he started coding 10 hours a day. He is really smart. I figured someone like that surely plays video games. So i mentionned path of exile. I love rpgs the new league is starting on friday， im trying to make exiled friends you know...

The guy tellls me he has no clue about the game so i ask him what games he play and thats when i heard: “factorysialimsntnaio” something. I was like “whaaat?”.

Its the type of game where you create your factory. You smelt， combine， make parts like screws and so on and build your factory.

Thats when i realized how some people will always be smarter than me ;)

Where are you coming from ? I'm coming from 127.0.0.1, just kidding, I'm from Belgium and you ?

"Warning: Functions are not valid as a React child. This may happen if you return a Component instead of <Component /> from render. Or maybe you meant to call this function rather than return it."

WHERE. TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK THE PROBLEM IS HAPPENING. OR SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Where are my fellow ladies at?
How do you battle imposter syndrome in the classroom or workplace?

Well this explains why I'm a programmer...

First off, what do you love doing? Secondly, what are you good at? Thirdly, what does the world need? Lastly, what can you be paid for? Think of your answers as a Venn diagram; you’ll find your ikigai where all four circles overlap. 

We had a project where we had to code in c# and setup a continuous integration server and create some tests for our application.

Our teacher asked:"Are you guys using junit?

He was serious.

I am now sorry for managers. Management is a miserable, horrible job where you have to deal with unending amounts of bullshit from all sides, and run a kindergarten where every other employee will give you their super special list of things that they don't like, or triggers them. No wonder all managers are terrible, who would ever want to do this shit job?

Mathematics feels like a giant old undocumented codebase in that, yes you could read the comments of each function, you would rather have a nice complete, well formatted docs page that in human terms explains how things work together, why they are here and where they came from.

What are you doing Onii-chan, that's not where your bwock chain is supposed to go

There are only three dev jobs:
- Hate the job
- Feel neutral
- Love the job

Two are choices that you make because of where you are in your life. The other choice you get stuck with and only stay long enough to avoid damage to your reputation.

Baby or bills? Often the middle choice is the best choice. Dream jobs come at a massive cost and risk to your personal stability.

Me: „we are going to reschedule the standup to 11pm“

Coworker: „Ok, sure thing“

Me: „You might want to set yourself a reminder so you do not forget it?“

Coworker: „No worries, I got this“

Me @ 11pm: „Where the hell is he?“

What if. What if all the developer are just one developer. What if all the world is just a training setting for that single developer. All the developers are just manifestation of one single developer.
All the greatest hackers and the noon. Every developer In the world is you. You are all the developer. The one who codes in java python JavaScript. Heck cobol. It's you. What if all the developers are just one developer manifesting differently ?

(Inspired from similar story where all human in history is just one person manifesting into forms to prepare him for higher 'levels ')

Feeling !@~!#@!@# when you come to know that you are not invited to meeting where architectural design is being discussed....and you will be the implementor for the sh*t stuff....

Its more p*ss*ng when you know the architect you work with doesn't know anything...and you need to impl and support it :(

All the projects where you are doing an awsome design and code work and then the client wants pizza pictures... more pizza pictures everywhere... and then he wants more of them again.
Bottom Line - When you have to build bullshit sites

Do something physical where I can see the result.
Paint that bookshelf that I would do one day. Organize the big pile of mess in the storage, plant something in the garden. Something where you are reminded when you see it: ohh I fixed that and feel proud.
Organize ones and zeroes are sometimes a bit abstract for the primitive brain to give that fulfillment feeling.

Would you go back to a previous corp where the work is mediocre (but handleable) and the people/ benefits are awesome, or keep looking for a new job where you need to learn the climate again?

You are very unhappy at the current place.

when you are ahead of schedule ... one be like "😱😱😱 where the hell did i go wronggggg"

Single page apps? Why are there not more complaints?

Why are there so many ways to "build" these apps? Where are the standards?

Also, what do you prefer, framework wise? Please don't say Ember.

Don’t even consider your boss as a person. They are not worth being a human. They will manipulate you and mistreat you where possible to make themselves look better every. Single. Time.

Does anyone know where you could buy O'Reilly books cheaper than they are on their site and possibly cheaper than Amazon? 50$ per book for a student it quite a lot.

Best part about being a dev? The feeling of progression. Every line you write will have an immediate impact to the outcome and you can clearly see where are you heading. Also being able to create something you've imagined.

Where are you located my fellow ranter?

Me /Denmark, EU

Ok nobody is safe, where are you Elliot? 😂 #DDosattack

So I was reading a rant by PatrickCurl and he said he lowered his rates to $40/hour. Was just curious how much you guys are getting paid per hour? To me $40 is alot actually but it depends where you live and what are your expertise. Anyways, just for a rough idea, can you guys tell me your $/hour rate, experience and your country maybe..??

You know you are in trouble when you copy paste error on google and end up seeing code block from where you copied code 🙄

Looking for jobs be like:

Do you want to work 1.5hrs from where you currently live for only $5k more/year? Are you ok with like 2 holidays and only 5 days PTO?

nothing personal, but fuck you all who are responsible for these mobile game tutorials where i can't even disable sound until i finish it.

!rant

I work mostly as freelance, so I really dislike having to explain how am I doing thing to a client.

Some ask me to explain what is my logic, and when they don't understand(most of the time) I have that 'sigh' moment where you just want to work on a company where you are tasked with something and does not have to educate people about your method of development (at least not much)

When no one in the industry knows you because you still didn't land your first dev job, and you're not happy where you are,, but recruiters gotta lie to sound appealing!

Fuck Fuckide fuck fuck fuck

How often have you gotten gigs/jobs where you felt you are overworked and underpaid. How do you deal with such clients and jobs

just think you are a developer living in a country where you can't get a real credit card, yes it's exist, why tech for, why internet for,

When you wanna be a Data Scientist and always land into internships where you are assigned with web development...
Learnt Node, Flask, Spring frameworks across different internshis...

dev1: where are all scrum masters?

dev2: WFH

dev1: can I do that?

dev2: yeah, but you need their approval first

Dear Web developers,
I'm looking to boost my skills and improve work flow. I was wondering what sort of tools, editors or platforms would you recommend? I currently use wordpress, php, jquery, sass, react, node and laravel.

I've heard about awesome ways where you can monitor project changes, something like github but with gui for design drafts and stuff.

Also I heard about good online platform for Web development, something like online sublime text where all your files are saved within cloud platform. I'm looking for something that will unify my work throughout different work places.

Lastly, are there any good sites or new technologies that are fairly popular and good to learn or research?