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We were given a MacBook in the beginning. Yesterday, appreciating my work, my manager gave me a MacMini to make my own server for testing purpose. I joined just two weeks ago. 😃
19 -
Worst dev advice?
My first manager said, "You're young and single. You don't have a family. You should spend all of your waking hours on work."
Me thinking, "I understand the importance of extra effort the first few years but I do have a life. One that I intend to enjoy."15 -
-- How I feel at work lately, in terms my wife understands --
Me: There's a gas leak, we need to fix it.
Manager: Yeah, use some duct tape, here's a roll.
Me: That's not how we fix a problem like this.
Manager: Will it work to solve the problem?
Me: Only temporarily
Manager: Ask your co-worker if you need help using duct tape, he's used it before. When will it be fixed?13 -
Me, a junior dev: * reports an important issue and a possible fix *
Senior dev 1: nah, it'll do just fine.
Senior dev 2: that won't be an issue, don't you see? It's under control, man.
Senior 3: why are you even here? Why are you even talking?
Manager: yeah, what could possibly go wrong?
* a year after releasing the product, one of the seniors got fired and another one was hired *
New senior: this thing is bananas, code is inconsistent and there's memory leaks everywhere, how does that even work?
Me: nobody believed me when I said that.
Manager: it did work very well, where's the issue?
Me: it's everywhere, goddammit! Don't you see?
New senior: junior dev is right.
Me: I've been a WHOLE YEAR saying that!
Manager: did you? Really? Nah, you didn't.
...
I'm tired of this shit.15 -
Manager: Hey what was that that you closed on your screen just now?
Dev: That popup? That’s NVIDIA letting me know that a new driver for my GPU is available.
Manager: Isn’t that for video games?
Dev: I mean that’s the reason many people opt into having a GPU but It’s not the on—
Manager: You are NOT allowed to play video games on your work computer!
Dev: This is my personal computer. It’s just an older GPU I popped onto this computer since otherwise it was just sitting in a drawer. My work computer is out of commission.
Manager: Well where is your work computer? How come you are not using it?
Dev: …Because of that blue screen of death issue we talked about yesterday.
Manager: Ok but that doesn’t give you permission to play VIDEO GAMES on your *WORK* computer.
Dev: …26 -
An account manager at work wanted to know where the company called HTML5 were based and if we could setup a meeting with them because our clients want to use their services10
-
Manager: Good news everyone, I made a big giant announcement this morning that the app upgrades will be released today!
Dev: They definitely won’t be, we need another 2 weeks minimum. I told you yesterday
Manager: Ok well I already made the announcement that today was the day so too bad for you.
Dev: Doesn’t change the state of things
Manager: 😡 This announcement is supposed to motivate you to work faster! You guys are making me look bad when you don’t support me like this!
Dev: Working as fast as we can, it’s a 2 person dev team for 4 separate applications so it’s quite a bit to get pushed through
Manager: Ok well then stay extra then, we have to get this out asap. Tell your spouses they are not going to be seeing much of you until this work is done. People are starting to ask questions!!!!!
Dev: Not my problem, it’s done when its done. I’m not staying extra.
Manager: !!
// *************
Might be blowing my cover a little but what are they going to do? Fire me? Good luck getting this out without me. They’ve tried to replace me in the past but the cheapest person they could find was 60k more expensive than me and still couldn’t keep up. Probably they’ll ship the work overseas and the code will die in a dumpster fire and cost them even more. Ah well, just another company that doesn’t deserve code.20 -
Where I work, this is something that happens daily because manager (non-programming MBA) want everything now without proper design and architecture.
11 -
Manager: How come I go on vacation for 2 weeks and you are able to start, complete, and ship an entire sprint in that time where as when I'm around, the same amount of work takes months? I even got COMPLIMENTS from *the client* about how smoothly things went while I was gone...THIS IS COMPLETELY EMBARRASSING AND UNACCEPTABLE!
Dev: Well. I cancelled all of the status meetings, created tickets with clear expectations, didn't change those expectations, didn't add every idea that popped into the client's head during those two weeks to the current sprint, didn't pull anyone off their tickets to teach me to code, cut the budget for making degrading comments to zero, and incentivised everyone to work by allowing a half days on fridays to work on personal projects if we stayed on schedule.
Manager: THAT'S NOT YOUR JOB! I'M THE MANAGER AND ALL. OF. THOSE. THINGS. ARE. MY JOB! NOT YOURS!
Dev: ...I know.17 -
Manager: Feature C doesn’t work
Dev: We never built feature C
Manager: Nonsense, I remember feature C clearly!
Dev: It’s still in the backlog
Manager: But we had many meetings about it
Dev: Never got put on the board
Manager: Feature C is very important!
Dev: It was never assigned to anyone
Manager: What could possibly be more important than Feature C?
Dev: All the other features you placed on the board and assigned up until now
Manager: Well I need Feature C done asap! It should be top priority!
Dev: Ok then next sprint add feature C to the board and assign it to someone
*Next planning session manager leaves feature C in backlog in favour of other tickets*
*2 days later*
Manager: What is the status of feature C?
Dev: You opted to leave it in the backlog
Manager: BUT IT SHOULD BE TOP PRIORITY!
Dev: …9 -
The colleague:
- I can't work, my chair is uncomfortable
- I can't work, my chair is not ergonomic
- I can't work, my desk is too small
- I can't work, my legs are uncomfortable
- I can't work, my keyboard is not ergonomic
- I can't work on this task, John knows how to do it better
- I will only work on <this> type of tasks. I will not work on others
*gets assigned <other> task; browses the internet all day; at the EOD task isn't even touched*
- I can't work with Jack, he's too noisy
- I can't come to the office on time, there's traffic in the city
- I couldn't come yesterday, I was out of town. No, I will not log a vacation day - I was NOT on vacation. It's personal
- I can't<...>
Manager, 2 days to the end of said colleague's probation period:
- I am very sorry to tell you this, but our attitudes are not in line and we cannot continue working together. Since this is your 5th warning, we have to let you go.
The colleague:
- What?? How come?? I did NOT see this coming... You can't do this! I work here! This is where I work and you can't fire me!
*got his things from his desk and left. Never came back*
Everyone at the office:
- YAYYYY!!!! Let's have a shorter day today and let's celebrate this riddance in a pub! (manager agreed)7 -
Manager: So great news, we will also be building a new app this year!!
Dev: We only have 2 devs and we already struggling to maintain/build our current portfolio of applications. I don’t think we have the resources to support another.
Manager: Nonsense, this is a very small project management app that was requested by the CEO himself!
Dev: …We already have MS project, why can’t they just use that?
Manager: The executive team isn’t interested in learning MS Project, it’s way too complicated. They want us to build an internal version of MS Project one feature at a time so they can pick it up over time instead of getting overwhelmed with learning MS Project all at once. It also needs to have loads of customizable automation features so leadership doesn’t ever have to get “in the weeds” having to work with it. It needs to basically run itself!
Dev: …What about this is small?
Manager: Well that is the requirement.
Dev: …18 -
Dev: I’m taking a vacation next week
Manager: Good you need a break! I’ve put together a list of tickets for you to action during vacation since you’ll mostly be free during that time
Dev: Do you know what vacation means?
Manager: Well I work during *my* vacation
Dev: You write non-answers to emails and interrupt devs with status questions that are easily answered by a single glance at the kanban board. Also, you’ve just assigned a month’s worth of storyboard points to me on my week long vacation. We’d get more work done if you didn’t “work” during your vacation.
Manager: Well it all needs to get done! It’s the only way we can catch up and get ahead of schedule.
Dev: Why do you exist again?15 -
Manager: Everyone will be required to switch to Mac in the next couple of months.
Dev: Um, why?
Manager: Macs are more professional and developer focused than windows machines, I read it in an article. Plus they look way nicer.
Dev: Half of the applications we use don’t have a version that works on iOS.
Manager: What? How do you know?
Dev: I have a Mac for occasionally doing some work on the iOS app we support. I ran into that when I was setting it up as a development environment.
Manager: You have a Mac?
Dev: Yes
Manager: Why? How come you don’t use it for development?
Dev: …15 -
Dev: So how do you want this feature fixed?
Manager: It should work how it worked before.
Dev: I'm new to this feature, I don't know how it worked before or what is broken about it.
Manager: Well just make it work like it worked before.
Dev: I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKED BEFORE THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO MY JOB.
Manager: Just how it worked before!
Dev: ...
Manager: ...
Dev: fuck you17 -
Manager: "If needed, are you willing to work overtime this month?"
Developer: "Yes. [ ... pause ... ] would you give me some over my salary for sometime?"
Manager: Yes, increment happens every 6 months.
Developer: "I am thinking beyond it".
Manager: "No, it is not possible"
Developer: "Okay"
** alarm clock vibrates **
Developer: "It is 5:00 PM now. I need to leave. See you on coming Monday at 9:00 AM sharp"
[Developer left]
Manager: "Byeeeee ... "2 -
Manager: We do not identify as a tech company so don’t expect tech company salary increases this year
Dev: Well don’t expect me to bring a tech work ethic then
Manager: !!5 -
Manager: What’s taking so long on that PR?? It’s just some small styling adjustments
Dev: No it’s not you added an entire new calendar module that doesn’t work
Manager: Ok but besides that it’s just a small couple of css edits
Dev: You made styling changes in 50 files, half of which break our mobile responsiveness
Manager: Well then STOP talking to me and FIX IT if you’re so smart.
Dev: You also added a series of filters on a table in this same PR that cause th—
Manager: OK SO I GOT A BIT DISTRACTED THE FACT IS IT ALL NEEDS TO GET DONE SO IT DOESN’T MATTER IF IT’S ALL ON ONE PR SPLITTING THINGS UP INTO SMALL UPDATES IS JUST UNNECESSARY BUREAUCRACY AND IF YOU LIKE THAT THEN GO. WORK. FOR. THE GOVERNMENT!!!
Dev: …10 -
9pm Project Manager: We have to push an update TONIGHT
9.45pm Devs: okay guys, all latest bugs are fixed, just needs final check and we can push the update
10:45pm Devs: Guys?...
11:45pm Guy in charge of testing: Uh doesn't work...
- What doesn't work?
- I dunno, I get an error message
- What's the (fucking) error message?!
Aaaaand silence
Fuck this I'm going to bed.6 -
Our project manager who also happens to be our web designer... (Start Up)
Project Manager: We have a go signal. Go convert this design to html and css. And make it responsive.
Me: Can you forward me the mail so I can check if it's actually approved?
Project Manager: Just do it.
Me: (After tweaking) There. It's done.
Project Manager: They want to change all the layout of the site. We're gonna do it from scratch. They didn't like the design.
Me: What? I thought your design was approved?
Project Manager: I thought so too. But i'm your PM so get back to work.
There was no mail from the client.7 -
The Manager kept masturbating over "low hanging fruit".
The apples on the bottom of The Product have all been picked.
The apples at the top are starting to rot.
The Manager masturbated a bit more over the low hanging fruit.
The bottom of The Product is now so slippery with Manager Cum that the brave engineers can't reach the top anymore.
Time to bring my axe to work.13 -
Manager: Why are we missing our deadlines?
Me: Cause we don't own any of the codebase that we work on and have to literally beg to other team for code reviews and deployments, for which it takes long mail chains and meetings. An even before that we(devs) have to explain to them what/why are we doing things, because our Product managers are a bunch of NoGood AHoles. And after all that we finally do some development, in whatever measly time we have left.
Manager: I know all that, tell me why are we missing our deadlines?5 -
Manager: We really need to save money with this project, so nobody call tech support for anything.
Me: There's this open-source solution that would work great.
Manager: Bad idea! There's no tech support number to call.
Me: ...4 -
So today the Manager told my coworker that "going to the toilet" is an excuse. We all work from home, "eating", "shiting", and anything other than work is considered excuses.
What in the bloody fuckery fuck is this?36 -
Manager: IT and I have decided that you will not be doing any rewriting of the legacy code. We paid a lot of money for it and throwing it away would be impossible. Instead you will create a “config file” that will customize the legacy code behaviour to whatever spec we need. IT said this would be possible and would be a very simple way of operating everything going forward. That way no future code needs to be written or maintained, it’s just a matter of changing this “config file” to match our needs.
Dev: Nobody in IT codes though.
Manager: Yes but they work with config files all the time. If you need to be shown how they work just ask them.
Dev: I know how they work it ju—
Manager: Good!! So that should speed things up quite a bit. See this is why developers need managers.18 -
Me: *spends 4+ hours refactoring existing spaghetti, ensuring components are modular, easier to test and fault tolerant*
Project manager: ...
Also me: *adds pre-loader image to register and login buttons when user submits form*
Project manager: *All excited* Awesome work. 🙌That's some nice improvement..
Like wtf dude 😳..
My takeaway: These noobs only care about what they can directly interact with6 -
I look at this nowadays so often during office just that I don't quit this fucking job all because of work load and dumbass and asshole manager
4 -
Manager: I NEVER SAID THAT!!
Dev: *Brings up email where he said exactly that*
Manager: I DON’T REMEMBER ASSIGNING YOU A TICKET TO LOOK THAT UP. GET BACK TO WORK!!
Dev: …3 -
We had a manager that blind-sided the entire Team. During annual reviews, he gave everyone on the Team an unsatisfactory/not meeting expectations. Why? Because rather than rating us on the work we were being assigned, he rated us against what our job descriptions said, but you can't do work you don't have. Not once, during any of our monthly one on one reviews did he tell any of us that we weren't meeting standards. No one on the Team got a pay raise that year. But, karma. Several month later, the company decided to do a 360, which is where we get to rate our manager anonymously. We're still here; he's gone.4
-
Me: Making me work 17 hours without a 8 hour break is illegal.
Manager: You just sit at a damn desk all day and long shifts are required of IT
???????? Do you really think I just sit at my desk twaddling my thumbs?13 -
I love companies that only use titles like 'Analyst'. Then, they can make you work as a developer, business analyst, tester, help desk, or project manager and there's no way you can ask for a raise or promotion6
-
It's weird reading about everyone bitching about their PM / manager, and I'm here and have the best boss anyone can ask for. I work from home whenever I want, if I work extra I can always take that extra time off. If I work weekends I get 100% overtime pay. If I want to learn new tech for a project he tells me to go nuts.
What I'm really trying to say here is.. in all yo faces I guess. \o/13 -
I'm starting to fucking hate the word 'done'.
Scenario 1:
Boss: How's the spec coming along?
Manager: Oh, it's done.
Manager to me: Hey can you get it done?
Me: Why would you call it done? There's a days worth of work and it's only half done. Boss wasn't even rushing it yet.
Manager: Too late I've already committed it. I'm sure it's simple anyway. Just do it.
Scenario 2:
Manager: Hey is it done?
Noob dev: Yea it's done.
*Commits half assed incomplete sphagetti shit that breaks stuff*
Manager: Well done. Completed so quickly.
FUCK THIS SHIT.2 -
I am a tester by profession, But I love coding. Sadly my organisation doesn't allow people of my profile to install IDE/ Programming softwares... So I had to work with what I had... VBA, MS Office...
I started to work on few small Ideas, then I and a friend worked on a macro which automates a 5 year old manual process... It became a Hit ! It changed the whole process... My manager started to highlight it everywhere... Other manager started to come to us for helps....
So I learnt MS Excel Vba, then MS Access vba... started to become an expert...
Now the whole onshore and offshore management knows us by name....
This excitement made me explore other programming language band fell in love with Python and JavaScript...
Now I made a virtual bot for my manager....
That small project paved the whole way of my programming passion...4 -
When your product manager is too nagger and don't let you work with his questions if you finished the tasks or not.. this what happen to the product.
3 -
!rant
So I have been recently hired at my current job for leading a product team. We're a small team working in a big company which have other teams working on other projects. I like my work and I have been appreciated for my work which I did since my stay here.
So I and my manager were discussing about how more can we automate our workflow to reduce the time to get the final builds. It was late in night. Suddenly someone asked, 'did I hear automation?'. We turned to see our CTO listening to our conversation. He told us that he's having trouble with automation in his project. I was new, so I didn't know what did he work on, so I asked.
Me: So what did you guys work on?
CTO: well, we work on automating stuff for clients and save them money. We earn 100x revenue than your product (In a more humble tone). I am currently looking for someone who can lead a team of developers for handling the automation scripting part. *Provides description of the candidate* Do you guys know someone like that?
Manager: (pointing towards me) It looks like his description.
CTO: I want him in my team then.
Manager: That can't happen, he's required in very important stuff and you're not allowed to poach.
CTO: I think I have the right to poach 😉
Me: OK, so how much raise am I going to get to switch teams (to the manager) and how much am I going to get to stay? Whoever gives me more I am theirs.
CTO: I like this guy
It's day three, I am still awaiting for one of them to tell me who won 🙁
PS: They both are friends with each other.2 -
Manager: We will be building a new app. THIS TIME EVERYTHING MUST BE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, ANYTHING LESS THAN TOP QUALITY WORK WILL BE REJECTED!!
*Not even 2 days into the new project*
Manager: Ok that’s good enough, we can fix it later. Can you go quicker on the next feature? Just sacrifice a bit of quality so we get these tickets closed as fast as possible. I said we can fix it later. Getting tickets closed asap is top priority.
Dev: …3 -
Manager: Hi, here is component X with 200k lines of code. Can you go through the code and see if you can implement component Y using component X?
Me: What does component X do?
Manager: I don't know.
Me: Is there a design docs for it?
Manager: I don't know. Can you check? Let me know when it is done.
*Wondering if I should joke and say "Oh management, hard job huh?"*
*Remembering how life is fucked up unfair and I need food to survive and house to live in and follow the society's rules and work hard to make the rich richer and shove money into their fat belly of greed...*
Me: OK.9 -
This is more on work and life balance.
1. Don't do hard work, but do 'Smart work', else you will end up burn yourself 100%.
2. Don't think your manager is your guardian angel, even though it seems like sometimes. He has his own goals to achieve.
3. Spend considerable time daily in and out of office/work, for your own development/improvement.
4. Learn new languages and technologies.
5. Stop making things perfect, 'good' is enough.
and it goes on ............3 -
I just hate Eclipse with passion. Stopped using it when I couldn't even get it's package manager work without crashing it.
11 -
My previous manager always complained about the programmer that used to be there before me was utterly incompetent and unable to work.
One day checking a legacy app that needed a minor update I was looking at the code and said: “It is true the previous programmer didn’t even know how to put together 2 lines of code, this is literally the shittiest thing I have ever seen, thank God he is not around anymore!”
…
Manager: “Actually I wrote this myself”
…
…5 -
Here's a conversation I had at work:
Me: "this project that I've inherited, aside from the UI problems it has, it also has severe code problems that need to be fixed"
Project Manager: "I don't care about the code. The code is not my concern. Don't waste time on it and just make the app look good."5 -
Manager: Here's the design for the next feature, we're ready to hand it over to the consultant
FullStackClown: Uh... okay... is it spec'd out with requirements?
Manager: Huh?
FullStackClown: Well, already look at this design and user flow, did you consider what happens when <insert edge case X here>, <insert edge case Y here>, or <insert edge case Z here>? How is the consultant going to know what to put in for business logic if you don't even know or define it yourself?
Manager: Huh?
FullStackClown: Sigh... yeah, I'm too busy right now to be a kindergarten teacher, come back in a few days once you understand how your own feature is supposed to work
Manager: ...
Dev: ...5 -
When you learn your project will be launched Monday in an email sent to the whole company, just before the weekend...
I'm not even kidding. No one on our team was consulted if the app was ready or not.
There was no infrastructure in place to even deploy the app. Everything had to be done in a hurry over the weekend to deploy something half baked, thanks to that idiot project manager who told his boss everything was ready.
Two colleagues ended up doing this work over the weekend, but looking back, if I was the one having to get something deployed over the weekend, I would have just refused and come back to work as usual on Monday and watch that idiot explain why it's not live. -
noob misconception #378: during my first internship the summer after my freshman year, i was under the impression that if i used 1000 threads, my job would finish 1000 times faster. needless to say, my machine crashed in a second, and my manager thought i was an idiot when i was surprised it didn't work9
-
Manager: The way you built this doesn’t accommodate any of my future plans!
Dev: What future plans?
Manager: I have a bunch of different ideas, I haven’t decided which ones to go with yet or how it will all work but you’re making it so we’re running out of room in the UI. It’s too busy, you need to clean it up so we can add more stuff!
Dev: …10 -
Manager: we require people to work in the office but we'll give you a space to get as comfy as you want.
Me: *walk into the open space office, set my mechanical keyboard, plug in my noise cancelling headphones, start coding and mumbling every now and then*
Manager: keyboard is distracting others and we don't allow headphones as we want to be able to speak to you when we feel like it.5 -
Manager: *taps dev on shoulder* Hey I noticed a minor bug I think
Dev: Sigh…. So then create a ticket for it
Manager: Can’t you just fix it right now?
Dev: I can but I’m currently working on that other issue you told everyone was “top priority” at the morning status meeting. Should I switch to actioning this minor bug instead?
Manager: Don’t switch just multitask and work faster!
Dev: …8 -
My manager is so cool at work that he doesn't care if I sleep during office hours or even skip working for a couple of days as long as I meet the deadlines. All he cares about is getting the work done and keeping his team happy.
I abso-frigging-lutely respect him very much and like him as a person.
Unlike my friends' managers in other departments, he wouldn't assign me more work if I finished a project before the deadline.
I wish all the managers in all the companies realise work-life balance is important and act like him.10 -
I think I'm getting let go. Got an email saying to stop all the work on a project I was working on and to come in for a meeting with my manager tomorrow.
Fuck.33 -
Manager logic: Adding "somehow" to the front of the JIRA title for the JIRA description is super clear and helpful.
Example:
Title: Chat screen doesn't work
Description: Somehow chat screen doesn't work7 -
Manager: You know you really shouldn’t pay off your mortgage faster than you absolutely have to. It’s the cheapest money you’ll ever get!
Dev: I’d rather work towards being debt free. Besides my RRSP (401k) is already maxed out
Manager: RRSPs are a scam! TFSAs (Roth IRAs) are way better
Dev: My TFSA is maxed out too
Manager: 😡 You still shouldn’t pay off your mortgage!
Dev: …16 -
Ticket: “feature [x] doesn’t work”
Me: “I’ll need more details: how do I reach feature [x]? In which of the three projects you assigned me is that?”
Manager: “the design is in the ticket”
Me, in my head: “can you effin listen to what I told you before giving air to your mouth?”
Me, in person: “yeah I just need to know which project this refers to and how to reach it”
Manager: “but you have to open the ticket as a separate page!”
Me: “sure!” *waits 15 min, opens a ticket for more details, assigns it to manager, flags as blocking, flags the other one as blocked*
5 mins later: details are given and I can proudly fox it by remembering the manager they have to login in order to see feature [x]
Later in the workweek:
Manager at 8:00 URGENT FEATURE! MUST BE DELIVERED BY EOD
Me, 10:00 “can jump on it, need authorisation for [a procedure]
Me, 11,12,13,15,16,17:30: pings for an answer
Manager, 17:58 “ah sorry didn’t see, we can do it tomorrow”
Is this the matrix? Am I being stopped from developing cause I am randomly accessing matrix’s code without knowing it? Is this the Truman show? And most importantly: can I please take part to a manager hiring session? I am curious to see how tf you hire such peculiar people.10 -
Today on "I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Burnt Out Dev".
Project Manager: "What day would prefer to demo your work?"
Me: "Tomorrow or Wednesday"
Project Manager: "Tomorrow is Wednesday"
Me: "O"
Project Manager: "O"
Me: 🤝
Project Manager: 🤝
Anyone else having problems remembering which day of the week it is? 😂😂5 -
I decide to come by scooter and the weather goes crazy!
Weather predictions are "Heavy rain to very heavy rain" for the next few hours!
Fortunately, I have a work-all-night-take-next-day-off policy (which my manager frowns upon but is cool with!)
So, code-mode ON! 😎5 -
My Dream Job?
✅ 100% Remote Work.
✅ No dogshit Proprietary Stacks like Adobe Experience Manager.
✅ Reasonable Timelines.
✅ Management defers all technical decisions to you.
✅ Actually Challenging Projects.
These are my Big 54 -
When my manager angrily told me that I compromised the release and tried to guilt me into staying later at work. I was a 17-year-old intern.4
-
Project manager:
"Ah, we have so many projects. We want to finish all at once. Can you work 1 hour on each project every day?"
Not doing that, gtfo.12 -
I have a bit of work anxiety, since I feel that I'm terrible at programming, but that's because the other people have been working with code for 10+ years and I just started my job 3 months ago. but my manager is super supportive and tries to help any way possible.
Yaay3 -
Manager: "We're gonna have to work over the weekend to add this shiny new feature!"
Me: "Peanuts and Incentives included?"
Manager: "No, but you get job satisfaction!"
Me: 😒4 -
Got a promotion at work, now manager and opening a brand new location for the tech shop.
That means I have 5x the amount of income to help fund my company and tech, I am so happy.2 -
The reason I drink a lot of water so that I can go to the washroom more often just to waste time while I'm at work.
I haven't been assigned any work for this week. Maybe I'll get fired. My manager isn't showing any appreciation towards my work.6 -
*me currently working with .NET and Angular2*
Manager: you have to switch projects, you will work now with Node.js and React only
me: I don't want that.
Manager: okay then.
*two weeks later*
Manager: I'm sorry, you have to switch projects.
me: ...
And here I am onboarding to a new project, trying to understand how React and Node.js work.
P.S. help me get my avatar.2 -
(backstory -> I have 10 years of experience as a software engineer)
Me: So I would like to develop myself to become "officially" a senior engineer
Manager: sure, you basically need to show consistent behaviour
Me: ok, but what specifically? on what criteria do you determine when it is time for promotion?
Manager: there isn't anything like that defined yet, we would like to work on a definition of roles and responsibilities, but we're not there yet
Me: ok but how did you do it so far?
Manager; well as I said, you have to show consistent behaviour that characterises you as a senior.
Me: ....10 -
Me: XYZ library just announced that they will stop support for their version 3. I will update our code to use the latest version. It'll probably take 10 hours because we use it pretty extensively.
Manager: Okay. While it's updating, could you work on the ABC feature?
Me: ... no, because I'll be working updating the library.
Manager: Oh so you gotta work on it? I thought it would get updated overnight like my iPhone.4 -
Manager: Could you create the UI for the new feature? The client wants to test it. We need it in 3 days.
*1 week later*
Client: IT DOESNT WORK
Me: This is just a visual demo... but everything will work when we realse the feature.
Client: okay but can I see what it will do?
Of course you can! Just wait until we relase it!
*2 weeks later*
Manager: What are you doing?
Me: Working on the UI for the new feature.
Manager: Wait, hadn't you already done it for the demo?
Me: That UI didn't really work. It was basically a bunch of HTML, without reactivity or abstraction or any functionality.
Manager: Okay, how much where you able to re-use?
Me: almost nothing.
Manager: So... you wasted those 3 days?
Oh so I'm the one who wasted 3 days.
Me: Kinda, yeah
Manager: Why couldn't you have done this when I asked you to do the UI?
You can't expect good quality code in 3 days. Pls stop wasting it on demos.3 -
I run kubuntu on my work laptop with various security settings in place. All of my other colleagues run Windows 10.
My manager recently noticed I wasn't running Windows and told me I was a threat to the security of the companies network...
Congrats dude4 -
So I just got let go because there was not enough work to keep me full time. Yet my manager was farming out dev work to a 3rd party developer... Fml3
-
Manager: Morning Alex, how are you?
My Brain: I'm fan-fucking-tastic, I've had 1 hour of sleep, hurt my back, feels like my tail bone is broken, struggling to walk, every piece of code I've written for the past 3 day's has been a complete waste of time and I'm at work...
Me actually: Good thanks .-.3 -
My previous manager: "Your code should hard to read, so our work is cant stolen by everyone".
Me: "Why?"
My previous manager: "Just do it"
Me: "Okay"
So, anyone can answer my 'Why?' question?
P.S: My previous Manager is PHP Programmer14 -
story of my life
*2 months ago manager forces me (frontend dev to work on backend) and he agrees to do that only until new year*
*new year arrives frontend dev wants to go back to frontend*
*manager surprised pikachu face*1 -
I am removing all my personal items from work so if I suddenly quit I can walk out and never have to come back. All thanks to a micromanaging maniac of a manager and his lackluster lackeys of lameville.
Fuuuuck youuuuu huuuuge. I curse you cunts with everlasting indigestion followed by bouts of vicious volcanic diarrhea.8 -
Me: junior dev
Assignment: build a REST search service that also does (thing x)
Me: gosh I just can't figure out how to make (thing x) work! Nothing I try works and there are no online resources!
*goes to meeting with client*
Client: (thing x) is impossible in our application, so we are expecting (much more manageable thing)
Me: awesome! I think I can build that
Manager who can't code: what are you talking about, (thing x) is clearly better and it should be possible to do
Manager: *sends email outlining shifted requirements after the meeting, including (thing x)*3 -
*during project development, we use a library as core of tye app*
Manager: We need to add feature X.
Me: The library developer announced that this feature is not supported.
Manager: why is that?
Me: *giving some tech explanation*
Manager: ok, but still we need it urgently, we told the client we already have it.
Just a simple day on my work9 -
Life at work these days:
Manager: we’re not getting enough done
My calendar: 1/3 week filled with scheduled meetings
Manager: we need to use ChatGPT intensively. We'll go a lot faster.
Me using ChatGPT to get it to write an automation script: 2 hours wasted with no success
Me starting again from scratch to write the script: 15 minutes to achieve the desired result.
Thanks for your advice boss8 -
Manager: we have reached record sales this month, thank you for your hard work guys.
Employee: can I get a raise?
Manager: your greed is hurting the company.
Employee: but I worked here for 3 years8 -
If you work 8 hours a day sincerely, you will become a manager and work 12 hours a day
Made my day...hahahahah -
Manager: "Hi Almond, how is X going?"
Almond: "...I don't know, Bob is in charge of that."
Manager: "Ok. Do you know the status of Y at all?"
Almond: "Not sure, isn't that Bob's responsibility too?"
Manager: "Well, yeah, but I never seem to be able to get a good answer out of him. Find out on both fronts and let me know ASAP please"
...sure, I know how this goes. I'll stop all the dev work I'm doing, do your job for you, talk to the lazy bonehead that never bothers doing anything, report back that he's done sod all (or still "in a requirements gathering phase" as he puts it), be asked "why is he taking so long", have a bit more back and forth, then decide we'll just leave him be as actually trying to get him to do any work is going to be too much like hassle 😒6 -
I manage a team of engineers.
Toxic Culture Post #2:
Manager: Everybody on your team needs their own swimlane in Jira. Each person's work should be their own lane. When I have a ticket for <Project A> I want to make sure that <Bob> always gets it, all tickets for <Project B> must go to <James>. You'll need to figure out which team member will handle <New Project C> and create their personal swim lane.
Me: That's not really how SCRUM works. Actually, that's not how teamwork works. You're creating silos and we all need to learn how to do these tasks. We're a cross-functional team, and each team member brings their own unique talents to the whole process.
Manager: So you'll create the swimlanes?
Me: No
Manager (to Bob): You'll be devoted to <Project A> from now own. It's the only work I expect you to do. All work for that project will be yours.
Likewise, my manager also reached out to each team member and assigned them specific tasks, furthering the silos.6 -
Inappropriate experience at work? All very old experiences, this is one of many:
The IS department manager 'John' would poke is butt in a cubicle, fart, walk away laughing and/or say "That'll wake you up".1 -
So I was talking with a coworker about a difficult situation I had with a manager years ago. It came down to how to interpret the company rules. The issue was about schedules and not being allowed to modify those schedules permanently. Say always leaving at 3pm on Friday every week kind of thing.
It came up because I wanted to work through my lunch to make up an hour. So my manager went pouring through the company rules and found this one phrase "you are not to modify your work schedule on a continuous basis". I was like what does that have to do with me working through lunch. He then told me that would make my work schedule during the day without a break to be a continuous day. Which to him was not allowed. I was flabbergasted at how insane the interpretation was on his part. It was not worth fighting it at the time.
Back to my current coworker. We keep talking for a while and he says to me: Was that manager an adversity hire?
I have been chuckling about this all day.1 -
I like complainers... So... Someone who works 9-6 (and is often late by half hour and leaves at 6 sharp also takes extended lunch break) complained to my manager that I'm late for work , which I am , no denying , but , I take no lunch break and I work until 7:30-8 . Why on planet earth would you even care to make a complaint about someone whose manager you don't even know ? What the fuck kind of a person even does that ?! No one in my office has any kind of direct interaction with me , no idea of the work I do yet someone found it fitting to complain . Anyway , manager didn't even listen to the guy so I'm good...just pissed at haters .6
-
My manager thinks I am Superman! and he is so confident that can do any shit he wants me to do.
Yesterday he asked me to merge an ancient code hotfix (literally ancient) with latest branch of changes.
1. Hotfix is really old, most of the things are hardcoded, very specific to a stone age client.
2. Code documentation does not exist.
3. Developers of that code are probably dead.
4. Many Libraries which code uses are deprecated.
5. It's a legacy code, so no one has fucking idea what a particular clumsy block of code do, or what will happen if you remove it.
'if it runs don't touch it' policy by management.
Despite all this shit I successfully merged the the hotfix, refactored outdated code so as to run the application.
Showed this to my manager in full swag!
He was surprised at first, and asked me to show the code changes.
'Code review' was done by comparing files 😅
Manager: Dude, you have changed these lines, why? Explain.😧
Me: those lines won't work with new build, with new libs.☺️
Manager: then why can't you do old build with new changes?🙄
Me: umm.. wait... what???🤔
Manager: the code was working previously, it must be working even today without these changes.😡
Me: it was not working hence I made changes and now it's working fine see! ☺️
Manager: you have removed this, this and this!!! 😡
Me: but I also added that, that and that!😔
Manager: "don't touch it' if it works!"😡
Me: ... Idk what to say!
(In the back of my mind: "Don't touch it even it doesn't works!")😌8 -
My manager from Germany says, "We have a saying in Germany. If you buy cheap, you buy twice. We must adapt it as, If you deliver fast, you must deliver twice". Scenario, faulty code delivery without checking the need of adoption work items.4
-
On negotiation and signing contract
================================
manager: yes you will work 8 hours a day from Tatta hours to Tat tat ta hours.
dev: okay great, i accept it. So no overtime and everythings right?
manager: that we will consider.
dev: hmm okay
=========================
Start working for about 1 month
=========================
manager: John, you not showing up at the office today? What happened?
dev: Sir, I have to stay up all night finished the last task as required and just sleep around 6am in the morning.
manager: John, i need to tell you. your performance is very great. Our clients are happy.
You deliver all the task. We love you, John.
dev: Yes thank you so much. I am happy too, but i need to sleep now i been over time for the last 3 weeks.
Manager: don't worry john, you will get reward later.
===================================
Weeks later:
dev: i need to request for leave, i am over work and now i am sick, my eye got red and cannot look at the screen.
manager: what is happening this month, you been late to work and you not deliver the task, you are sick and this and that, and depressed and whatever... tata taata,
dev: sir, when i first started you said i could only have to work 8 hours a day, now I work more than 12 hours day. What's change?
================================
life as devs in tough companies, high expectation and shit.
2 -
Manager in December: Things will pick up soon!
January: I know things are slow, but they’ll pick up!
February: Just give it a couple months!
March: Things are about to pick up, trust me!
All the while I have been twiddling my fucking thumbs with probably half a day’s work to do, either working on my own studies/projects or just wasting time.
And the reason? Because Manager hasn’t been able to decide the budget for the project, so we haven’t been allowed to begin.
We are asked to waste time rather than use it effectively because of a spreadsheet that Manager has been putting off for four months.
Dissatisfaction is the understatement of the year. Some say I complain about a good thing, meaning less work, same pay, but that’s not why I applied to this company.2 -
First time working remote.
My manager sent us all remote. I am a student in apprenticeship with a school doing remote work too.
I caught a slight diharrea, doing some C in the WC.
Is this distubing if I find myself more productive on the toilet ? xD8 -
Shit Project Managers say.. to my coworker when I'm not there :
"Hey do you think she's working hard enough ?..I don't know, she has only made 2 commits in the past week so.. "
Fortunately my coworker defended me and told me after but yeah.. As if you could measure efforts and work in development by counting lines of code, fuck-tard.5 -
Me and my manager throughout 2020
January:
Me: So umm, we can release the new app version
Manager: No we promised client X app first go build that
Me: umm, ok.
February:
Me: so the app is done, but client hasn't setup area L so there is no data there
Manager: ok, I'll have them setup area L soon ™️
March:
Manager: area L is too much work to setup, use workaround L thats way better
Me: ok ...
April:
Manager: client is nitpicking on design and layout please make this mess even greater
Me: ok, anything else?
Manager: yeah also start on app for client Z!
Me: and our app update?
Manager: later son! Risk tooo muchos!
May:
Me: the mess for client X is done, and first version for client Z is also ready for test
Manager: ok good work, here is a new set of things to mess up
Me: but... Seriously, wtf?!
Manager: clients want quality
Me: ah ok, not nitpicking, cool
June:
Manager: client X went MIA, but client Z will send you a weekly list of things they don't understand and want to change
Me: ah great, truly worth postponing my February holiday to release nothing
July:
Manager: so, how we doing on all them changes
Me: well, I am a loyal custodian with alot of pleasure in my work!
Manager: ah ok good!
Me: any news from client X??
Manager: who
Me: mkay ... n.v.m
August:
Me: can we release yet?
Manager: change, we can!!!
Me: are you Obama?
Manager: ambitions
Me: fuck you pay me
September:
Me: I am confident we can now release all 3 apps as promised mid september
Manager: great!! Good work
Also manager: you know that immensely complex area within the app? That needs a complete rewrite because we have bad ux there!!!
Me: ok... To which requirements?
Manager: good ux, we must have standards
Me: but the layout of page R id generic as page F so then we need to align there as well
Manager: go! Do!
Me: ok I'll come up with my own requirements then
Manager: we also need documentation
Me: really!!!! How clever of you to fire colleagues T & P and we now have zero workforce for that
Manager: things will get better someday
Me: ah, great! Put it on my calendar
October:
Me: I need a sabbatical biatch
Manager: a what?4 -
I work at a 6day work week company and this week it was 7. We work more than 10hours a day in a 7×27 foot co-working office space. My manager sits just 2foot away from me to my back. He is toxic as hell and nano(micro) manages the team. I stay very near to office and I feel like I am a dead person just living to work.
Is this a good reason to change the job after an year ? I feel lonely and negative. My manager sitting just few inches away from me makes me feel like a fish trying to behave outside water.
But the best part is I got to work on many things that helped me gain lot of tech expertise still he wanted control every piece of code.12 -
Took me looooong looooong time to understand that the primary work in a managerial role involves meetings and calls as the *main* thing, not something you do sparsely to stay aligned with the team, so them calling 3 hour long meetings might feel like a waste to me but for the manager it is what they would consider proper work.
At least that's my current hypothesis in trying to justify the time that's 90% wasted.
6 -
My Manager: Could you help "other manager" (OM) they need some very simple code changes.
Me: sure that will only take a few minutes *adds 15 lines of code tells OM one single line they have to modify*
Some other manager (SOM): Hey how does this work, I'm confused, do I need to do anything?
Me: Yes see the email chain you were copied on.
SOM: Actually let's have a meeting instead and all discuss this.
Goddammit this was a simple change to make your life easier now you are wasting everyones time by not reading the email -
Happiness is when manager appreciates your work and says there are very few crashes on prod now... That feeling 😎2
-
People around me be like "Why you never take a break?? I see you work all the time. Doesn't your company offer you a paid holiday??"
Yeah they do offer a paid holiday, but even on holiday I still have to work because I'm the IT manager, full stack developer, database admin, helpdesk and everything that is related to IT.
:(26 -
Manager told all of us to leave at 5 instead of 6:30 because of Christmas.
Then he told us to work from home this Friday and take Monday off cuz Christmas is on a Sunday.4 -
In the meeting where I gave my notice period, the manager told me I won't find another company that doesn't make you do "donkey work" like us.
Currently hee-hawing from work.4 -
Manager : This week Monday was national holiday, hence to cover up the delay we will have to work on coming Saturday.
Me : What's the use of having national holiday then?
Manager : It's for recreational purpose.
Me, in my head, WTF!!!2 -
Manager gave me a project he wanted to be done fast. Spoke with the guy who wanted the feature asap . After 4 days of hard work and testing sent a email to the guy who wanted the feature asap, requesting access to ftp where to periodically upload the output data. Day 3 still no answer.1
-
I have to work with an unbelievable stubborn (and incompetent) "project Manager)
He just actually tried to convince us that leading 0 in some" hexadecimal" strings get truncated.
I know that does not sound like something to lose the mind over, but these wrong facts do come up ever so often. It knaws on my sanity.6 -
My manager asked me: Did you tested the website on all browsers?
I simply said YES. Then he asked again, Did you test it on IE?
I simply replayed: what that IE? We don't use untrusted application for testing our work.1 -
"Don't waste time on security, just make it work" heard this from a "security head manager" at a 1 million eval. company 3 years ago1
-
Worst Manager/Higher Up? I guess that would be me. There was this time I was so frustrated with my team, that I literally asked them to make a list of words they want to curse me with, cause we won't be going home till the work is done the right way.5
-
1 on 1 meetings with manager throughout the year
Manager: You're doing really well! Keep it up!
Me: Cool, thanks!
1 on 1 meetings with my manager a month or two ago
Manager: You're still killing it! I'd really like to see you challenge the status quo since you're the newest on the team. I think we could benefit from fresh perspective.
Me: Ok, cool, I'm starting to feel pretty comfortable so I'll do that.
Me: *starts challenging process, team structure, and company norms in meetings*
Manager: *confused pikachu face*
1 on 1 meetings now, right before performance management
Manager: I really need you to start picking up more important work. You're not performing well relative to others at your level, and I won't be able to represent you well during performance management.
Me: 😐10 -
Me a month ago: "I'm done with full-time corporate work. I'm going to shift to freelance only so I can enjoy my life and not be in a grind, bowing and scraping to a manager all day."
*Recruiter finds me and offers me a full-time opportunity*
Me now: "Well, I guess I can look into it..."
Me 9 months from now: "I'm done with full-time corporate work. I'm going to shift to freelance only so I can enjoy my life and not be in a grind, bowing and scraping to a manager all day."
Repeat until dead.2 -
*me and my manager, during my appraisal meeting
me: *talks about work done in previous project, and the current one under him
manager: but your JIRA throughput is very less.
me: the tickets which I pick are more research oriented and almost always take more time than the other config- fix type ones, and due to me being shifted from another team, there has been an increasing learning curve, I realize that, but...
manager: look at Jack, his throughput has been consistently high.
*me, after realizing my appraisal has obviously gotten affected and this discussion will lead nowhere
me: I would like to have a chat with HR before I sign the form with the percentage increment you are offering.
*me, with hr the next day
hr: your manager tells me that your throughput has been less than satisfactory.
me: *goes on to explain about the type of tickets I have been working on, along with other enhancements done to make people's lives easier
hr: but the throughput...
me: where the f**k do I sign?2 -
When manager scolds you for the team but there was some other lazy ass who didn't put his work in place.
1 -
So this one day I'm at work and the manager peaks into my office and just says "can you check that platform X is building, pretty much done just a basic bug check" (this bloke had negative 1 technical experience)
I'm not sure what he means, the whole thing is built in Java and I know nothing about that...
I log in the platform on dev server, sure enough it seems to work, charts are drawn, no errors, then I try to log out; this button does nothing...
I don't bother telling the manager, I just go to the dev who's a friend of mine and tell him about it.
A week later, manager jumps in the room all excited "we're launching this product tomorrow, mind checking again?"
Sure, I log in, ... There's no log out button, it's gone... I ask the dev.
"Yeah I fixed it, it's gone now!"2 -
30 and feel too old to learn programming. suddenly get opportunities to code at work in a framework that I hate. asp.net
also manager approves my request to give a windows server exam with Microsoft which is in a month. never been so stressed :/7 -
Linux Distro with dark material design and all basic apps like browser, file manager etc also materialized and platform for developers to develop apps for this distro so that their apps look and work perfect in it!8
-
One week into my new job as a junior mobile developer I receive my stickers from devrant (for posts I made while still a project manager and self-studying to get where I am now) - on the same day I did my first 12hr workday to complete work for my first sprint.
1 -
I got moved to a new team. My old team was truly agile, and my manager was very "off hands" and actually let us work.
My new team is an older team that practices a bloated abomination called SAFe Agile, and the manager gets into all the details to the point of removing autonomy.
Shoot me please.
Paradise lost. -
dev: “I want to start working on [feature]”
Me: “I already started to work on it, sorry for not mentioning it, we need specs from design team before I can go on, but I’d suggest going for another task meanwhile”
Manager: “noooo design is very very busy, [dev] will take care of it.”
Me: “[dev] still needs specs from the design team... and I am half done with it so no real point in re-writing the same code I wrote”
Manager: “just trust me, we do this and [dev] takes care of it.”
*me and [dev] look at each other perplexed and just nod to the manager cause it’s Thursday and the fucks to give are over*
... am I actually a patient in an asylum? I question my sanity after this exchange of words.2 -
Not a rant but I'm not sure if I made the right choice. I got really curious this year in cloud infrastructure and started studying for my AWS Solutions Architect Exam. The company I work for (large company) allows me to switch roles/teams. Last week I was so bored with frontend I requested to switch to the Platform engineering team. The Engineer manager slacked me this morning....
PE Manager: I'll see you at standup this morning.
Me: Cool ill be there at 9, where is it? By the cafe?
PE Manager: No, in hell. Glad you joined the team 😃
What did I get myself into.1 -
Manager asked suggestions to make any changes to work culture, because of the overall productivity issue of the team. The culture was so much toxic that no one was ready to speak.2
-
A great corporate culture, pleasant coworkers, a caring manager, meaningful work, and a good salary. Hmmm. Thank you for reminding me that I have a pretty close to ideal Dev job. I can live with what's missing. 🤠
-
For productivity I get to work at 5:30 and code until 8:30 before I open my emails for the first time. That's when my real job starts as a Project Manager (in the throes of teaching himself to code at age 37)3
-
I am stuck with another Postman.
Attrition in my current org is way to high in product teams and we have only one designer shared between ~100 people (10 product lines).
My ex-lead (a genius) and my skip level manager (very smart chap), both keep saying that my manager is a very good manager.
However, in reality, I don't find so.
- Only responds to my questions
- Ignores any other form of communication
- No help on any front
- No support or validation on my tasks (hence, I have to actively keep asking for feedback)
- Regularly cancels 1:1
- Involves other team members in 1:1 and cancels theirs as well
- Says I am doing well but keeps nitpicking in my work
- Hardly reviews anything
My company is amazing, pay is good, perks and opportunities are wonderful, kickass learning but my direct manager isn't making me feel comfortable working here.
Maybe she is too cramped with responsibilities but again, I have never seen her deliver anything and all she does is a postman job of taking inputs from her manager and pass on to me and coordinates until me and her manager decide to jump on a call and figure things out ourselves.
It's just been 3 months and I feel more annoyed than worried about being here.4 -
So today Windows Explorer crashed and so my task bar didn't work. I open task manager, selected the process and pressed restart only for it to take out my whole desktop...
Just what I wanted it to do... Thank you... -_-5 -
Boss yelled at lead mobile dev for low productivity because the project manager present him wrong timetables and added accidentally one more week of work.
Next day boss yelled at the lead mobile dev cause the back end wasnt working well.
Project manager and lead back end developer enjoy life! Front is hell :P5 -
Project Manager: I want you to work faster and make the performance faster. No excuses
Specs: potato pc9 -
Notification pops up at the bottom of the screen... it is an email from a Project Manager.
2 seconds later...
Project Manager via messaging app: "Hey, I've sent you an email"
fuck off bitch... I know that already, it is 20fucking19... notifications are reliable and they work. I don't need a human toast notification to tell me about the other notification that i just received.5 -
Bloody Fucking Managers !!!!
Few Months Back...
Manager: Innovation we need Innovation.
Me: What's the process?
Manager: You give idea >we give you people > they do all the work !
Cool right ?
Present situation :
I have given them 5-7 ideas. I am programming for all of them. When I ask for help -- we will see... After the programming is done its working. I need make the documents etc. Everyone uses the tools. I get to be the sucker !1 -
Manager: Good news, company will pay for extra internet cost while we work from home.
Employee: Will the cost of electricity consumed by the laptop be reimbursed?
:|4 -
I think my manager has this false impression that just because we are working from home, we suddenly are gifted with lot of free time.
In my experience, the work life is horrible like this. I have not seen much day light in the last 2 weeks.
I don't know how long i can stay sane like this.16 -
I made the mistake of stepping into the lift when I already saw our branch manager walking down the opposite hallway, joined by some guy in full suit and tie who's clearly just been interviewed. So of course they get into the lift as well and as the doors closed, manager asked me
"Well, is it worthwhile working here?"
Shit. Way to put me on the spot in front of an applicant. I just stuttered "Yeah... sure..?" and went silent for the rest of the ride. Like what the fuck kinda question is that, noone would work there if it wasn't. Why would you ask me of all people, their only working student at the time, doing different work on different projects for different pay than any actual employee? -
This is long rant/story:
My manager conducts sync-up meetings regularly. The idea is to sync up all developers on current state of work. He does’t conduct stand-ups. He doesn't have time for it. He rather discusses on individual basis if we are blocked. The rule of the sync-up meeting is NOT to discuss any blockers or problems but simply explain each other what we are doing and how we plan next.
Sometime ago, the manager brought up and explained a new way of working in the sync-up meeting. At this point, a new developer in the team was absent due to sickness.
Today, there was a sync-up meeting and the manager started to question the new member about the newly introduced way of working. He was unaware of it and the manager never communicated this important information via email or any mode of communication available.
So, the conversation goes on as follows:
"Manager": — "Why didn’t you complete your task as per the new way of working?"
"Employee": — "Well, I've no idea. Am I supposed to do? I’ve been working as usual like any other"
"Manager": — "We have a new process and you have failed to follow it, so we’re late in delivering your work"
"Employee": — "I’ve already finished my work on time. I've raised a pull-request this morning"
"Manager": — "It doesn’t matter, it is not merged to main branch and so we can’t include your work in the release"
"Employee": — "I’ve no idea about the new process"
"Manager": — "Haven’t you asked around about what happened from previous meeting"
"Employee": — "Yes, I have. I was told which tasks were handled, but nothing about a new process"
"Manager": — "Aren’t you interested to learn it?"
"Employee": — "Why won’t I be interested? I was on a sick leave and I have no clue what happened here"
"Manager": — "What’s happened is past now, let’s not focus on it"
"Employee": — <Dumbfounded>
The Employee felt ashamed in front of everyone. He did his job but it didn’t pay off.
…. After an hour … the Employee had a talk with the Manager
"Employee": — "You shouldn’t have pointed me out in front of everyone. It made me feel real bad. You should have emailed this information if its important for the team."
"Manager": — "I have no idea what you’re talking about. When did I say so? I think you’ve a bright future in the team. You should be focusing on doing better things."
Employee goes back to work. A minute later, the Manager sends a PowerPoint screenshot of the process in the group chat.
**The Process**
It's about delivering release packages based on priorities defined by client. Each release package is a set of work items or requirements. Individual developers are assigned to work items. They are expected to deliver on planned delivery timelines in order to consider a work item into a release package.1 -
one of our sales manager ask me,
"what so difficult to build ecommerce website, we work more than you because we strugle on field."
I just smile and start walking.6 -
Today I tried to rant but could not. My manager was on leave and today I almost attained nirvana with so much peace and solace in my work. It's such a delight
-
New line manager is a recluse
Hear from him maybe once a week if I'm lucky
Airs my messages for at least a day
Never felt happier at work -
I love my job. Minus that 1 stupid guy who I don't understand how he was hired. And minus one of the managers messaging me after hours to do work. Everyone else is alright, need to find a way to hide from that manager and work on projects exclusively with other managers D:
Anyone else ever felt like hiding from management? Lol1 -
I have a more than average paying job. Cool manager who is okay with almost anything I do .The work place and colleagues are awesome but I'm not getting any work. My title says SE but all I do at work is play. Should I leave this place or stay and work on my side projects?7
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Client : you are hired as a developer.
Me : we need more developers as there's more work and less time.
Client : Ok, here's another dev
(Meanwhile me doing my work...)
ON THE DAY OF DEMO :
Me : Here's the demo.
Client: it's incomplete, where's more work?
Me: that's the part of 2nd dev you hired before
Client : I don't care, I fucking need a work!
Me inside: (Why the fuck would the first dev becomes a task/team manager just because is the first one to join the project! Arrrgh!!! Hire a fucking scrum master to manage your fucking tasks/team, am just a fucking dev! )6 -
My lead always steal my work and showcase it has his work to the manager. I always look for a chance to trap him in front of Manager.
One fine day, He gave me an work which has to completed on Monday, I sit over the weekend and finished it’s but partially committed it.
He is a blind thief, As always he says that he himself completed over the weekend.
While running in front of the manager they face huge issues because it’s a half cooked product. Manager purposely sent an email to our team without mentioning the name of my lead.
After few days my lead silently put paper and left the team.3 -
My manager’s manager (my superboss)..
Every time we go for a design discussion, this guy goes into his own world of inspiration, motivation, religion and damn things.. the more you think of pulling him back, the more lame jokes he starts to crack, the more you’ll bring in work related talks, the more stupid his output will be.. it is now resulting in a late delivery date, a frustrated manager, and a frustrated team. Moreover he says, he’s inspired from Elon Musk, dafuq, I mean seriously? What part of his approach on productivity you actually got inspired by? Sleep?4 -
So I've begun working on my senior thesis for college (a full stack Java/node.js application) and a student overheard this and offered to manage my project. He has no idea how to read Java or Javascript.
....You work as a project manager in your day job don't you?
1 -
So I work at a digital agency and the second my manager heard Twitter had upped its character limit he started planning out all the new hashtags and emojis he’s going to include to max out the limit.
Please Twitter, stop.1 -
I'm a tech lead for a new agile project for a manager who knows nothing about agile. Having to work on a chart that shows exactly how many sprints each milestone will be and when it will complete for like, 17 sprints from now when requirements aren't even set. Wtf?7
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Anyone out there been fired because their project manager had a personal problem with them and made them unable to complete their work?11
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I never had a good boss, I've got two of the worst stereotypes of boss :
- the exigeant non-tech thinking he knows tech that asked to make an Android app for 1000€ and forgot to say he wanted an iOS app also
- The typical "fonctionnaire" (don't know if there is an equivalent in English, it's a state worker in France) manager, who thought his work was the only important work, who made me do a work I would have done in two weeks in 6 month1 -
Just found out I have more work than I can manage stacked up until mid 2018 - all for me and where I am a single point of failure. I have several manager fighting for me and some smaller pieces of work mixed in too.
Any advice on how to get a raise while my stock is high?3 -
After moving desks, ending up next to your manager.
The manager is there when you arrive at work, and is still there when you leave. He never seems to leave his desk, not even for lunch, except for the occasional meeting.
We never see him do anything other than work, but sometimes he joins in on personal conversations with other colleagues, which usually ends the conversation rather quickly.1 -
Just when I had almost fallen in love with this new job which I started 8 months ago, this happens.
My “manager” had conversation with me. He was complaining that my work is of poor quality (objectively speaking, it is not). I don’t even directly work with this manager anymore. He “leads” this big project and he really wanted me to get involved in it but I struggled because it’s a big codebase and I was a new joiner. Months later, a new project was started and I worked on the backend for it. And I really liked that project more as I literally wrote it from scratch. And even the “mangers” for that project was a bit chilled out.
Now, the first “manager” kept trying to involve me in the first project but new requirements kept popping up in the second project and I was happy to work there. Somewhere down the this, this irked the first “manager”. Also, the company is known to be very cheap with salaries (a good work culture though) and they are paying me more than others since I switched from another company to work there. So they are probably expecting more output for the salary they are paying me. That seems to be the main problem here.
Obviously this first “manager” has never worked a development job before, let alone reviewing my code or something. So I was confused after this conversation. He’s asking me if I noticed these issues in my work and how I can do better and I bluntly replied no, I don’t see any issues in my work. He said he’ll speak to me again on Friday (2 days from now) and expects me to give an answer about how I can improve and stuff. He seems to be power-tripping do so I’ll probably be firm about my position. Will probably mention the money part as well.
It sucks that I left a corporation because of work culture issues and joined this smaller company. And I see the same corporate disconnect cropping up here.3 -
Just wondering if anyone out there has had any experience with writing a window manager for x11? I have decided that would be a good project to kinda work on my c++ and so I can learn how x-server works. Any tips, tricks or references you guys have? The project is on my github called zwm.7
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Its so disheartening to see how easily replacable you are if you work for someone else, no matter how hard you worked. The moment you say " I am resigning", the behaviour of your manager changes so dramatically. Its like you don't exist anymore. No more new interesting work, no nothing. Why!!!!7
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I have ME/CFS after Covid19. My manager says its an excuse. Can't wait for them to fire me because of my performance drop. Now I only do about 100% of my work instead of 140%.4
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Day 1 - Monday:
Manager: How far did you go on this project?
Me: I have contacted the PM, and due to lack of data we are putting the project on hold since there is nothing we can work with, we expect to get the data next week. Peter is working on obtaining required data.
Manager: I see, okay.
Day 2 - Tuesday:
Manager: How for did you go on this project?
Believe it or not this happened again on Thursday... fml2 -
When you're currently working on a mosule based on Facebook Graph API and the project manager wants you to make it work on Twitter ...2
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Oh god, I just got told off by my building manager for sleeping to much here.
I need to be near my computer to work or I slowly die inside -
Our team lead was promoted to manager a few months back. Our VP/Director was fired a few months later. Our manager got our team a call today; the business is making a ton of money due to the Coronavirus fears. The company hasn't mandated any work-from-home policies yet. We're in a big city (Chicago/Downtown) so it feels irresponsible.
Our manager has complained about how he has no manager to ask questions; how every person is MIA (now he should know how we feel about him; but I don't think he realizes how absent he is).
One of my remote workers send a message, "This is a total clusterfuck"
Yea...1 -
"As a Product Manager in this project I need to work with a Front-End Developer so that the front-end side of the project gets developed perfectly"
PM I ♥ you.3 -
manager: i heard that bitcoins' price just dropped. can you teach me how to trade bitcoins?
*apparently he saw me taking the blockchain trainings provided by the company. told him i only know they work but not trading. i feel like he's so disappointed1 -
project-manager : what are you doing ?
me : just having some coffee .
project-manager : stop all shit go to work .
me : ok sir . got up and went for my laptop .
my mother screamed at me and screamed "what
are you doing ?"
i then realised it all a night_mare1 -
Originally wanted to get a head start on work since gonna be out Monday... And don't want to be distracted while working on it... But UAT db was down.
So spent all morning working on side projects like a password manager because we're not allowed to use keepass...2 -
Got added to a really exciting project in the morning by PMO, by the afternoon my manager had pulled me back to work on his boring project. Oh how the turns tables2
-
Due to resource scarcity, my manager Bob had lent me to other manager John. I started working on John's project and now there is a hardcore dependency on me, as I have done good enough work on it. I was also taking some small work items from Bob parallely so I can be up-to-date with my own team, Later Bob calls me and says he wants me back, since my own team has lot of pending tasks. John's project is still unfinished and will take longer then ever. So far, I am dividing my time between the two teams.
My concern is if I pass on John's project, will I even get recognized for it and since John will have no one concrete to work on his project, he will later keep bugging me for help.
And I feel like I don't belong to either of the teams (I am like a step son to both my parents) 😔1 -
2017 and I still have to work with Angular 1 because, according to my manager, other frameworks aren't safe for now5
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Developers are the only people that knock off for work at 8pm, and at 7am your project manager wants to see something new on where you left off. What happened to fairness?
-
Is there any way to kill your project manager remotely. Due to lockdown, I can't visit to his home. He want me to work 14hrs a day. Till lockdown, I pray he will be safe from Corona virus. Than I will take my call.8
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My manager says you shouldn't be doing archaeology work looking at old pull requests and git diffs to figure out how things work.
Are there scenarios when this is useful? How common are they in your day to day?5 -
What do you do when you don't have any assigned work in office and idle for 2 weeks..?
I'm already frustrated. And I don't know to pretend I'm working infront of manager 😁16 -
After an important meeting where you actually get to give feedback and share some of your ideas for new features or bug fixes, one of the managers sends a follow-up email to the team telling you to get features done, like they were his suggestions.
Manager “I'd like you to work on.... “
Me "Right, that's what I wanted to work on... "6 -
15h/day for at least one month.
Manager to someone: How long do you think it will take you to build this?
Someone: Erm... 6 months.
Manager: Fine, I'm pretty sure you can do it in 3 months.
I was invited/forced to join someone's team because he could not do it in 3 months. Neither did we, but we managed to deliver the project in 4 months.
The dickhead manager got a promotion, money prizes etc for burning us out. I can't stand this kind of managers.
Neither I or someone work for that guy anymore.
If a Dev tells you it would deliver something in X believe him, he's telling you the best he can.1 -
My Ubuntu VM just work fine for consecutive 217 days without restarting.
Need to change some config
And... I forgot the application access key... Damnit!!!
Lucky, I kept the access key in the password manager. Whew.5 -
This cat is looking at me like how my manager looks at me when I say am gonna work a few extra hours of work because I like what I do...
Am the one who gave her the milk 😅
1 -
Had a manager that, during performance reviews, would say things like:
"You need to work harder on managing our clients' warm fuzzies."
"I can't give you a hard number to strive for on this metric here because you'll just do the minimum"
Needless to say, the turnover in that group was insanely high. -
I fucking agreed for this extension to my internship only because my fucking manager told me, I'd get to work on something exciting. It's been 3 weeks on this new project and I'm still stuck at reverse engineering, feasibility and writing docs !!!!
I JUST WANT THIS THING TO BE OVER IT1 -
I once had a manager who demanded I physically print all of the Kanban cards and tape them to the office whiteboard. I was told to move the cards across the board after they were moved in TFS. I still had to keep up with my other duties in the QA department too!
Despite that, I still stayed on board with the company (the pay was good, and the work was simple.) As a QA teeter, I uncovered a rather nasty security vulnerability that would have put all of our customers data at reach to anybody. I advised my manager, and was told - just ignore it and ship the code please. I refused.
I was threatened with being fired, verbally assaulted, and challenged at the most trivial ways in everything I did after that.
Jokes on him now. I work from home in my dream job, doing what I love, with a manager who actually gives a rats ass about my concerns.
Moral of the story here - you don't have to agree with your subordinates , but you do need to validate their concerns.4 -
I was moved from a team I loved where I felt my tech leads were competent, where my tech leads valued my skills and my manager was fabulous and excelled at making sure everyone had the resources they needed and was rewarded for good work, to a team where my tech leads are inconpetent and constantly treat all the junior devs with condescension. Additonally, although my new manager seems nice and has good intentions, she is focused too much on the results of work and not the morale of her team. Consequently, she consistently ignores the negative feedback that is given about the tech leads because "the tech lead gets the results"
-
A new project kicked off, where a new feature will be added to our app. The mythical creature called "Project Manager" asked us to take OT's and weekend work to rush and finish it. Aaaare you f*ckin' kiddin' meeee??!2
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Project manager: "we need someone who isn't busy to work on the database for a few weeks"
*Fullscreen picture of Windows blue screen of death*
Me: "what the fuck bug after bug"
Project manager: "ouch you better work on that ASAP we are behind"
Coworker: -_-
Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -
Finding out that the Project Manager and Test Manager are actually in a relationship then spending the rest of the day trying to work out what you said to each of them in confidence
-
Fire every single teacher who runs from self education. Someone who keeps themselves up to date should be keeping students up to date.
Secondly, assign each class a major project which starts from 4th semester with one of the faculty acting as the Project Manager. Allow each student to choose their area of interest and work on that module. This will help develop team work and teach how not to rm rf production server or db:drop production database ^.^ -
Today I have fixed an issue in 300k usd servers that have been sitting there for almost 6 months... Even the vendor (which is a major company) did not wanna touch them. Nobody knows about it yet but I'm proud of myself but at the same time I feel a big resentment because despite my hard work I will not get to spend the next holiday which is a month from now with my family because all coworker went behind my back to the manager and took a vacation and manager will not even allow a work from home day... 1 single day. That's the only working day that week. But without it I can't go back home because home is 20 hours away... More if I take a connecting flight5
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Me, working hard on a SQL project with a deadline that is half what it should be with no support from the other people on the project and was mostly made with with data I imagined would be in there cos no one could get me any fucking shit done (i.e. effectively designed, built, tested, fixed, upgraded, documented on my own for an entire weekly/monthly/ad-hoc analysis process that would output various reports for internal/external/management)
Manager - man who is a known waste of space but for some reason is in charge of the smallest part of the project, shouldn't have been fucking involved fucking management guzzling stain magnet...
Manager: Hey, do I need to refresh the database?
Me: .................
Me: .................
Me: ............I dunno, do you think we should refresh the database that this entire project is reliant? I mean...why do we need up to date transactions to analyse? Wait....you telling me it's not been being refreshed this ENTIRE time?
Manager: No....you never said I should. So should I?
Me: ..................I never said you should!?!? Are you not in the meetings talking about dependencies?????? Do you think i should have up to date trans or just run this with old stuff????? Why would you not update it!??!!?!?!? Its transactions...... (Desperately trying not to punch through my screen, through his, into his throat)
Manager: ..............
Me: .................
Manager: I think i'll refresh it and add it to the job?
Me: ....................(goes back to work cursing with music in so I think its quiet but who knows).
Tard, don't know how he even gets to work without someone holding his fucking hand.
Happy ending, I don't work there anymore :p
Sad ending, his spirit of tard follows me to my new jobs and possesses someone (or three sometimes) -
When you’re interviewing for a job and the recruiter tells you the hiring manager is brand new, and
the hiring manager’s manager is also new, how do you react?
I’ve had two jobs in the last six years where basically everyone in my sphere of technical collaborators were new to the company and both times it utterly sucked, both for administrative reasons and because there was no institutional/historical knowledge I could lean on to make decent enough decisions on my work.
So now when I hear a recruiter say “oh yes John is the hiring manager, he’s been here six weeks and the Director is also new!” I’m suddenly much less interested in the position anymore.
I’m probably thinking about this too much, right?4 -
What do you guys wear to work? I usually go to work in jeans and T-shirt. And I grow a mustache and beard. But my cousin is suggesting me to do clean shave and wear formals to work everyday. He says that it'll make a good impression in the workplace, like I take work seriously.
I do get his point because I automatically give more respect to people who come to office in formals. But I don't feel comfortable working in formals. Moreover my workplace is very casual and my manager, TL, VP all wear jeans (even torn) and tee.8 -
All I did was press Ctrl + Shift + O & Ctrl + Shift + F on the eclipse package manager, just before commit. It ended up changing 122 files with 12640 additions and 13916 deletions...
Somewhere within these files are my actual changes which need to be committed...
I am not leaving work at least for today !!!2 -
Little story.
Manager give me task, Send mail through mail chimp to many groups and schedulled them differntly.
Day1 : it litterly waste my half hour.
Night 1 :create script using Selenium (utilize my 2 hours because It was new for me.)
Day 2 : I am devrant. (script is doing my task)
Manager is also happy that I am doing extra work. -
My best experience this year was to be the project manager of a software project and my worst experience was to work alone on this project.
-
Would you just leave a company if you didnt feel respected by the manager?
I work at a small start up, and i usually let those small signs of disrespect pass by, mainly because i think i am imagining it and dont wanna make a fuss about it.
But last week at our daily the manager kind of yelled at me which is upsetting me even today. I don't mind criticizm at all, but i feel like this stuff should be said in private not in a meeting with 5 other devs with which i work every day.
Would you quit? Or am I making a drama about it?3 -
So the bus I get into work has been cancelled and my office manager said I could have the day off but I had some important stuff he needed me to finish so I remembered I had TeamViewer installed on my work machine so I'm going to be working from home today4
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Just had my performance review conversation with my manager today and basically it's another "great work"
Which is what I get every year. So wondering does anyone actually get constructive criticism or things they should improve upon?4 -
I work as part of a small international team in a big corp , we work product quality of sorts but work closer to dev than qa , last week we found several giant issues and reported them in . Dev and Qa teams of said project are Indians . Meeting starts , two of my colleagues are indian as well , so dev , qa and all the other involved parties from india decided they should join in from the same conference room . My manager(he's a brit) presents the issues . Dev manager starts talking , qa manager talks over him , they start to formally yell at one another . One of them (couldn't figure out which one) started asking my two colleagues which one of them found these issues . At this point I had already passed a headphone to my ex-colleague who still sits next to me , he looks at me when he hears the question . I panic . Colleagues say they don't know (*phu* I didn't CC them in emails and my manager didn't tell them ) . My manager tells them to calm down , take responsibility and find solutions else he'll veto the product back into fullblown development . Other managers start growling and fighting again (more than 10 people were in the same room arguing) me and my ex-colleague decide to go take a coffee since I didn't have a saying in the meeting . We get back 10 minutes later , indians are still arguing over my manager trying to explain the issues a 4th time . I IM my manager and ask to drop the meeting , he gave me the ok and I dropped out, my head was hurting after an hour long meeting of angry indians arguing in a conference room and it kept hurting the whole day...yeah...meetings...fun time...
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Well .. just worked 15 hours straight because an architect who acts like a manager and has friends at my employer (im a consultant), had my employer threaten us ........ “Watch out with what you say to X” and telling us to work overtime..5
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As an ex-manager I now realize standups are used for control.
1. It sets a time when everyone must be present (might as well read-out names like it's school)
2. You, the manager, get to have people giving "offerings" of their work for you to approve, deny or bless with your gracious interest ("can you please stay on the call? lets discuss further")8 -
Project Manager : this code line from here to here is confusing. Before you explain it to me i will need a cup of coffee. Do you want for yourself too?
Me : (*In my head* my mind work pretty clear without it as well.) Yes sir.1 -
Got hired in a new organization for a particular team. Before joining, I had met the manager of the team and the work he told me was interesting. Upon joining, on the first day, I found that I am joining some other team and the work in this team doesn't look interesting at all!! :'( :-\
It sucks! -
At work today when the manager asks If I can
Begin
Learn some...
End
Begin
Ruby to help the lads with..
End
Begin
What the...
End
Begin
Fuck...
End
Begin
Is this...
End4 -
Management suddenly decide to push for an early go-live for a product being worked on by another dev team in the company. As a result we are pulled in to help and get extra tasks loaded onto our sprint.
My co-worker pulled an all nighter to get the extra work done.
I emailed the project manager to remove items from my sprint to make space for the new work.
Am I lazy, or smart?6 -
I drive for 2 hours in the scorching heat and shitty traffic to reach work only to find out my manager is on leave and he hasn't scheduled any tasks for me. FML8
-
Me to 2 other Dev's: Guys can i get your help? This line isn't working.
Dev's check the code. Tries there own things.
Doesn't work.
Dev's: Sorry man, we tried.
Project Manager with no knowledge of programming looks at code.
Project Manager: How are you struggling for so long?(Bitches for like 5 minutes)
Me: *gives her Penance stare*
* Starts laughing loud at the thought of her
dying*
I feel better now1 -
When the project manager gives you work then sods off to a meeting. You review the work and only been given half the info you need and impossible to complete. They then come back from the meeting and kick off it's not done!!!
-
Trying to setup a fucking google tag manager to get the fucking google analytics working.
Few years ago it was a 10 minutes work. Now I'm already at 4 hours. Fucking sick
WHY I say why I have two fucking equals accounts, FUCKING THE SAME.
And one is working the other one doesn't give a shit about my analytics.
Ehi, Tag manager, I just set up a Tag called "YourMother" related with its trigger called "Fuck" using same extra variable called "anal"
Can you just show it in my anal-ytics, fucking please?9 -
My manager just told me this at the end of the work day.
Today, my manager got a call from client "X".
They wanted to know why issue "Y" happened at event "Z" that was being put on for their client.
My manager basically told them we had nothing to do with that part of the event, so we wouldn't have had anything to do with solving problem "Y" either, but that what ended up causing problem "Y" had been passively mentioned to us months ago, and that he's not sure why their client didn't communicate it.
Client "X" told my manager that they would call back after talking to their person that helped organize event "Z".
No call back.
Definitely rant-ish, but also kind of a funny/ridiculous story to end the work day with.4 -
Seriously, wtf give the work to someone else, claiming that "I'm too busy to do this", when all that other person does is come asking you for help, and not only do you have to figure out what needs to be done, you need to figure out how the other person fucked it up and try to fix it without hurting any feelings. Oh, and, yes, I was too busy for doing what is essentially double work.
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My biggest flaw when working in IT: I will refuse to prioritize time- consuming work with minimal added value (cf premature optimization, 0.001% edge cases) when I have a backlog of work that will add much more, obvious value and I will not budge to manager or architect power-plays and tendencies to micromanage my responsibilities, even if it may eventually end up getting me in trouble.2
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Current I’ve been assigned 5 pages web design, but my coworker only been assigned two simple html and css task. We got same two weeks to finish it. She joined three months before me. After the task done, my manager ask her to do demo to team, she never mentioned me, and today’s stand up, big team manager said thanks for her demo and work, she didn’t mentioned me too… And now everyone contact her instead of me, and then she told me what others said later.
I feel she’ve been take credit from me..
should I talk with the manager about this? Or I should just quit the job?3 -
Seriously, I got given a project that someone else was working on, it's beind and they're on long term sick. I did the project as discussed. My manager has decided he wants it done differently, wasting about a week of work. This is the same manager that complained about my rate of closing tickets. 2 weeks ago.
Malicious compliance time, I'm closing the current ticket and creating a new one for the new work. -
My manager is making my team fill the tasks' "completed work" field in TFS with the exact same amount of hours we were inside the company. This seems unrealistic and doesn't take in account our daily capacity of 6h. What do you guys think of this? What should I tell her to convince her otherwise? Please, help me!2
-
I thought that if I work for a manager that is a developer as well, I would start getting deadlines that make sense for the project...
Well, now I know that it was just a thought.. guess that It doesn't exist2 -
Dev planning
- set timeline for feature for 2 weeks
- share timeline with everyone involved
- project manager calls and says it's taking too long
- dev adjusts timeline to 1 week
- project manager call next day asks for a new feature to be included in the 1 week timeline
What the f*** is wrong with these ppl. People don't seem to get the concept of schedules, timelines and organizing work. It's not like there is an abundance of resources (only few devs available ) with limited budget and salaries -
Just delivered most difficult project I had so far, despite all issues managed to deliver (on time). Had help from team but some colleagues only contributed with "I'll tell X and Y to do it".
Told my manager it was really hard for me and sometimes I had to work some hours in the weekends, once even entire weekend with no extra pay, just to meet deadlines.
My manager just told me in my performance review that I didn't deliver on time and compared me to the UX designer that delivers Figma designs on time for like 8 projects and never has to work overtime. I guess dev work is the same as Figma design around here.
Then manager proceeded to tell me that he wants what's best for me.
Safe to say no raise this year.6 -
Start coding a project for version 7.x, everything works in tests. Deploy it on the server and it doesn't work. Checks version and turns out it is 6.x, ask my manager why didn't he tell me before, he goes like so what, do it for all versions.
I go wtf -
We have our product's second release this week. And my manager was like... I don't want anyone to be absent in the coming days.
But he concluded the pep talk with an announcement that he is off work for the next 5 days.
I think he meant - idgaf even if our PROD burns down before I return !! -_- -
~16 hours. It was during the start of my career. Like every other project manager, mine had also made an unrealistic plan for the project I was on.
10/10 wouldn’t agree to work like that again. -
Scratch my last post. Do not disturb is not your best friend. Turning off your Teams is. When your colleagues suffocate you with calls, meetings and chats to the point you cannot focus on your own work. Send an e-mail to your manager and shut down your teams. That’s what I did2
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3 weeks back took a bug..
**long rant**
Looked into it and found that it is exist in older version(say V1) as well.
Sent mail to client stating i can fix this in current version (say V2). Since V1 is already released and our current code stream is V2 and so if we fix in V2 , the code will not reach V1 code base.
**explained to client**
Client : I mean if you fix why it won't work in older release.
Me: Explains how code streams will work.
Client : Okay.. but it will support the functionality in V1 , right ?
Me: (*internally* are fucking kidding me? It won't work dumb ass.) No. It won't work in older versions. I am fixing it in V2.
client: okay.. Let's proceed.
Me: Done code changes. Send code to review. (we have to send review to upper level manager).
Manager1 : I didn't liked this part. can you change this ?
Me : sure. Done.
Manager1 : Now i liked it. Sent review to Manager2.
Me: why the fuck ? Are you not sure about my changes are good?
Manager 2: I liked it, but need some log changes.
Me: Fuckkkk...... Let me change this.. Done. Now can I promote those changes?
Manager2: No we need to send review to client manager as well.
Me: Goddammit.. Okay.. sent review.
*After a fucking week..*
Client Manager : Looks good. Push the code.
Me: Finally..
(This process took 18 days which would have been completed in 3 days if there is only one peer review)
Now the other guy from client whose tracking the bugs reported why it took so long to fix it.
I think my client manager is over paid and can't even know how his company code stream works. Fuck you . why client has these lazy ass old fucking "I don't look into my email" type people. God I hate these "I am in rich country" people.2 -
Anyone else have a manager who absolutely LOVES to "derail you" and then says "sorry I don't mean to derail you but can you work on..." I swear tired of working for another person
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Ok I don't know what ticks managers off about working from home.
I live an hour away from the office and my team (i.e. The whole company) consists of 3 people, INCLUDING ME. And we all work on different projects. So what's the point of even going to the small room with cubicles AKA the office? No, there aren't really any "learning from my colleagues" crap; we work on different stacks. Plus we're all juniors. Oh yeah, haven't I mentioned that? WE HAVE NO TEAM LEAD OR EVEN SENIORS. The CEO has a tech background and he communicates with us directly and discuss the requirements etc. BUT HE LIVES IN ANOTHER FUCKING CONTINENT. So, again, what's so bad about working from home in my case? My manager doesn't like it for some reason. -
Is exclusively being assigned bug tickets only for a whole sprint (they're not my bugs) while another dev does feature work a bad sign? I'm a Senior SDE but my domain Knowledge is far weaker than the other SDE 2, so he can get feature work done faster. Bug fixes are general project ones that are either suddenly very critical or lower priority and leads me to keep debugging some other aspect of the system (not much documentation sadly so have to check whole flow slowly to understand it, very financial based).
My manager also just yesterday said as a senior my expectation is to lead a project and we'll discuss the requirements of my role. This is my direct manager, the one who assigned me all the bugs is the project manager, who also acts a bit like an SDE sometimes. The problem is I want to deliver work my main manager suggests but I simply don't get the time due to suddenly high priority bugs occurring (last night 1 hour before I log off, other manager says to find root cause analysis of a high priority bug), this isn't an oncall rota or task either, just normal bugs all the time.
Is this a bad sign? Am I about to be PiPed?9 -
Okay. Four work days remaining this week, but still six days worth of work. My project manager sucks at maths.3
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Every once in a while you find an awesome Product Manager who makes Dev life amazing... sadly, he’s looking for new work now, anybody need a truly amazing Agile PM at a kick-ass company?
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That one time the product manager kept me at work with no tasks just because I came in late on a Friday (the day off here). Keep in mind I worked 14 hours for 2 days in the same week.
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This week, the only team members working is our Team Lead and Project Manager. While I respect what they do I can't help wondering what the heck they are being paid to work on while no one else is around.5
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Manager took a week off to work on his house. Today he doesn't show up on Slack until after noon and says he's "catching up on e-mails." He praises how there are fewer DNS issues what what we did must have worked .... all praise from him feels hollow and meaningless.
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It’s 14:30 and I’ve only just opened SQL Management Studio and Visual Studio after being at work since 9am. Sometimes I hate being a team manager... so much shit shovelling and not enough fun work1
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Now due to march ending is around the corner, manager will frustrate and put employee on the edge of chair and doing shitty work just because illiteracy of boss. Literally hated this part of work.
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I’m a junior developer on a very small team (4 devs total including me and the manager).
Because we are so small, we work in silos. We individually work on issues and rarely work together.
There is a more senior dev that I really would like to work more with. I feel there is a lot to learn from him because he has the experience and skill sets that I would like.
What’s the best way to work with him more? Should I just ask him? Or is it better to find a more indirect way?7 -
When any rants I write, I need to put in my Password managers' "Secure Note" section because I can't post here for them becoming public.
Pfrtt! xD6 -
I had a meeting 5days after accepting work from a client (the project was basically a mirror version of your typical job board with extra features).
The client and our project manager joined forces in labeling my progress/project/work "untouched" because it was simply still undeployable.. fml -
More talking with manager today. If i wanted to check out the 200+ issue backlog to see if there is anything i can pick up.
I was just laughing. I already do that on a weekly basis. It’s not that i dont want to work! -
Today I told my manager that my work from home is not working properly because of internet connectivity issues. So I’m on leave for 7 days starting tomorrow😁1
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Most useless meetings I attended was in my previous company. Our f***king boss suggested that manager must have to take one morning meeting with the whole team about that tasks what needs to be done. And our bastard manager calls the whole team and wasted time all of us cause our work is not related to each other so he is explaining one on one and rest are looking at his face what type of species he is :P
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If my manager asked for an update only on ONE report on projects, I think he'd be a perfect manager. Right now, I'm having to update FOUR different things for everything I work on: an institutional ticketing system, management's summary view page for the same ticketing system, weekly report, and my personal logging journal.
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Project manager is against that we pick our own tickets.... So next sprint, that last 2 weeks, i got 2 days off work and that is already generous estimations.
He will be off for the next 2 weeks. -
Last work day before the new year and I was trying to make the manager understand that I couldn't say the max number of characters of a line because the font wasn't monospaced 😓
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Screw my companys intern restrictions. I went to work briefly for a meeting today and the manager cancelled it. Wouldn't be a problem unless I couldn't check my outlook except at work... which is the case because I'm classified as an intern. Ugh!2
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Having issues with senior manager.
Not able to showcase my full potential due to the way company works.
Not getting paid for what I am worth.
But I still get my work done. Because none of these can kill my passion to code. Nothing brings more excitement than deadlines.
Happiness is creating stuff.3 -
You work on your code in the evening..no errors...
Go present to friend/colleague/manager/client the following morning...
Your program throws out a bunch of errors..At that point you tell it, "why do you hate me!!??" -
👋 to all my fellows working on saturday.
Let's spill out the real reasons. I will go first :
Working because my manager wants to justify the salary. He wants the team to work more before going to december holidays. Although this one day doesn't make any difference 😑 😑😑😑😑😑😑6 -
Project manager, knows nothing/little about the project... Always sends new features to be added only to be removed 1hr later 😣😣, you have experienced nothing until you work under 1
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Playing chase the stakeholder when trying to find the owner of a sharepoint page for authorising changes.
"Sorry that person doesn't work here anymore, ownership was passed to her line manager in Venezuela." -
Work from home policy is still in our managers discretion - manager can just say to stay within the building and to stop buying coffee outside
Clinic is not giving away masks readily unless an employee has cough or colds7 -
I'm usually really productive when I work from home. At my Seattle gig, I worked from home 3~4 days a week (most of my team was in New York City anyway). My current company does not do remote work well, and I've been terribly unmotivated. Our useless manager took the entire week off to work on his house he's trying to rent out.
I'm usually not one to worry or panic or even check the news, yet I've found myself doing that all the time now.
It's been very surreal. -
This currently project I'm working on is taking a turn for the worse. I keep finding missing features from the designs, but then also the project manager remembered that there were these other requirements that were needed. She only remembered after I raised an issue about another problem because NOTHING has been written down. A wireframe is NOT a fucking requirements document.
So now I have to refactor 2 major components just to include this sudden new requirement. I really hope I don't work with this project manager ever again on any future projects. -
Asked a manager about an insight I had which could improve our revenues, asked quite a few questions about what else we were doing regards that and whats possible. In response after a while he started attacking me about what tasks I’m working on and started sending me links to tasks and just being sort of an asshole. Not sure if somehow offended him by asking questions regarding his work or if he is just having a bad day. Fragile ego? Just seemed offputting. Sometimes i just want to tell people to fuck off... It’s not like i’m trying to help our company prosper or anything, right??
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mark point of interest i don't know how to refactor but have a work around of avoiding additional changes on
nobody has feedback or alternative solution
tech lead and manager still approved MR -
How do you deal with a toxic workplace environment. More specifically a senior that don't want to take responsibility and a SM that takes on more a role of a project manager than a scrum master?
Any advice would be great
For context I am a junior but work for nearly 2 years on this project1 -
Worst Linux distro: OpenSuse Leap. Why the fucking network manager don't fucking work on fucking xfce?!?!😤😤😤1
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When you get work assigned to you. Are you asked for how long it will take you to complete the work or does your manager give you a deadline to complete the work? Note: Manager was a senior developer but now a manager so he states he knows how long it might take and sets deadlines.8
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Fellow developer likes to request changes on pull requests to do major refactors on untouched code or change functionality which is outside the scope of the ticket.
Manager doesn't work on the codebase and doesn't care. This blocks our work and we often have to submit to their demands.
Feels very micromanagy even tho we are all experienced.
Asking for advice and a friend. (mostly a friend)4 -
I'm currently in internship in a little start up, I love work, love my team, my manager IS Amazing.
BUT, I feel like I'm missing somethint, everything is messy and I don't learn a lot.
Sometimes, I doubt, is this job reallu good for, is it juste a big mistakes leading to nothing?1 -
I’m very disappointed in PowerToys.
Especially the “FancyZones”.
I was hype when they first starting to work on their window manager.
But then....after a lot of feedback from community (which want something like an i3wm, fully keyboard driven) They come up with this??
I feels waste more time to manage window with FancyZones than not using anything at all.
I’ll stick with my custom hack window manager for now....
(Despite the limitation of win32api, it got a fully keyboard driven + auto tiling)
https://github.com/CSaratakij/...2 -
Imagine you are in a small BPO company and your client work hours is 2pm - 10pm. Then your BPO manager will set up a 1 hour meeting at 8am 🤣 so basically your personal time will be used for that meeting.
Good luck to your body clock 😂2 -
What should you do if the project manager is not assigning you any new work after the backlog already has been cleaned up?
I currently work as a junior front-end dev. For the past few weeks, the 2 juniors (incl. me) are lacking tickets. For example, I got 2.5 days of work assigned during our 3-week sprint. We already followed some courses, read some books & created some designs for upcoming features (that have no "functional specifications" written down).3 -
AL freakin M
Seriously some of the most frustrating SW I'd have to work with.
runner up is CA Service Manager. -
Now the problem arises on how to remote control a linux machine with the i3 window manager. (With gui)
Teamviewer sends the windows key as the alt key and now no shortcuts work ...2 -
Office Politics
I suppose I become a victim of office politics. I was working on new project and one more new project having e-commerce aspects was in queue. But my ex-manager went to the boss and asked him to assign me to her :( No more chance to work on e-commerce :( again have to work some geo-location services. Feel like fu*ked up ..2 -
My work just hired a project manager intern. With no one to work under. To be an actual project manager.
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Makes me happy to see people in thick glasses and whores in general that stole from my age group trapped in the lives they stole.
Oh there should now be a manager at the one place I work who used to work in the job or they can just send this person overseas -
Do you consider helping a colleague with more experience than you as a wating time in your own work ? Some manager told me I should focus on my work...1
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