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cygnus
267d

How do you deal with people who mistake your introversion for rudeness?

Comments
  • 9
    You don't. They can just fuck off
  • 4
    Still trying to figure that out. Luckily, my emotionally sensitive wife senses the reaction and apologizes later.

    "He's wasn't being rude, he's just really quiet."

    Then I have to listen to a lecture. People think you're rude, you need to be friendlier, open up, etc etc.. <barf>.

    I know...I know...its a work in progress.
  • 7
    i insult them.
  • 6
    I fail to notice that they've mistaken my introversion for rudeness, whilst accidentally looking at them with an inappropriate expression on my face.
  • 0
    @tosensei now you’re being rude
  • 3
    I am the opposite. I like talking to people. I also say a lot of politically incorrect things. So people think I am rude because I talk too much. I do try and gauge the room, but am not always successful.
  • 2
    you can't, you unfortunately are just living on hard mode and there isn't really anything you can do about it.
  • 5
    I would think if it's people you interact a lot with. they'd understand? otherwise, who cares?
  • 0
    What @iceb said
  • 2
    @iceb in my experience it causes a hell of a lot of problems in the workplace, especially for developers where hopping companies every couple of years is the norm. like clockwork my managers start getting complaints from other staff members about me within the first few months of starting any new job, and then they slow down and eventually stop over the course of about a year when everybody realises that i'm not trying to be a dick and that i'm actually just quiet and bad at communicating.
  • 2
    Fix their mistakes
  • 3
    One girl said to me that I was being rude, because I did not greet her properly. She wanted to kiss 3 times on my cheeks, but I stepped back and gave her a hand instead. And she almost fell forward, but I hold her hand and shook.
  • 5
    I don't mind, it's worse when people mistake my rudeness for introvertness
  • 5
  • 3
    Depends on the type of dynamic you have/want.

    Some people will assume whatever regardless of anything you can/should do. That said, if you want to mitigate things in the beginning of whatever contact youre having, you can simply introduce yourself.

    Whether its being too quiet or too boorish, if you introduce yourself, acknowledging the often misconstrued trait, it can help. If someone still thinks youre rude and doesnt approach contact with you in a polite yet blunt manner... they probably were gonna make up some reason they didnt like u anyways.
  • 4
    I often directly tell people that im autistic, literal, and blunt af when i start working with them. The sane/logical ones will either realise that im exactly as advertised and/or actually ask to clarify what i mean or if im *insert emotion i don't understand* at them.
    The illogical ones (it took me a long time to get this) will read 'between the lines' and invent whatever their brand of self-criticism entails, insisting that's what i said/meant... turns out, theyd do it with anyone who wasnt pandering and coddling them, cuz it has nothing to do with me/whoever... its just them externalising their own issues.
  • 0
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