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Look, I get that it's really tricky to assess whether someone is or isn't skilled going solely by their profile.
That's alright.
What isn't center of the cosmic rectum alright with the fucking buttsauce infested state of interviews is that you give me the most far fetched and convoluted nonsense to solve and then put me on a fucking timer.
And since there isn't a human being on the other side, I can't even ask for clarification nor walk them through my reasoning. No, eat shit you cunt juice swallowing mother fucker, anal annhilation on your whole family with a black cock stretching from Zimbabwe to Singapore, we don't care about this "reasoning" you speak of. Fuck that shit! We just hang out here, handing out tricks in the back alley and smoking opium with vietnamese prostitutes, up your fucking ass with reason.
Let me tell you something mister, I'm gonna shove a LITERAL TON of putrid gorilla SHIT down your whore mouth then cum all over your face and tits, let's see how you like THAT.
Cherry on top: by the time I began figuring out where my initial approach was wrong, it was too late. Get that? L'esprit d'escalier, bitch. I began to understand the problem AFTER the timer was up. I could solve it now, except it wouldn't do me any fucking good.
The problem? Locate the topmost 2x2 block inside a matrix whose values fall within a particular range. It's easy! But if you don't explain it properly, I have to sit down re-reading the description and think about what the actual fuck is this cancerous liquid queef that just got forcefully injected into my eyes.
But since I can't spend too much time trying to comperfukenhend this two dollar handjob of a task, which I'd rather swap for teabagging a hairy ass herpes testicle sack, there's rushing in to try and make sense of this shit as I type.
So I'm about 10 minutes down or so already, 35 to go. I finally decipher that I should get the XY coords of each element within the specified range, then we'll walk an array of those coordinates and check for adjacency. Easy! Done, and done.
Another 10 minutes down, all checks in place. TEST. Wait, wat? Where's the output? WHERE. THE FUCK. IS. THE OUTPUT?! BITCH GIMME AN ANSWER. I COUT'D THE RETURN AND CAN SEE THE TERMINAL BUT ITS NOT SHOWING ME ANYTHINGGG?! UUUGHHH FUCKKFKFKFKFKFKFKFUFUFUFFKFK (...)
Alright, we have about 20 minutes left to finish this motorsaw colonoscopy, and I can't see what my code is outputting so I'm walking through the code myself trying to figure out if this will work. Oh, look at that I have to MANUALLY click this fucking misaligned text that says "clear" in order for any new output to register. Lovely, 10/10 web design, I will violate your armpits with an octopus soaked in rabid bear piss.
Mmmh, looks like I got this wrong. Figures. I'm building the array of coordinates sequentially, as a one dimentional list, which is very inconvenient for finding adjacent elements. No problem, let's try and fix that aaaaaand... SHIT IM ALMOST OUT OF TIME.
QUICK LYEB, QUICK!! REMEMBER WHAT FISCELLA TAUGHT YOU, IN BETWEEN MOLESTING YOUR SOUL WITH 16-BIT I/O CONSOLE PROBLEMS, LIKE THAT BITCH SNOWFALL THING YOU HAD TO SOLVE FOR A FRIEND USING TURBO C ON A FUCKING TOASTER IN COMPUTER LAB! RUN MOTHERFUCKER RUN!!!
I'm SWEATING. HEAVILY. I'm STEAMING, NON-EROTICALLY. Less than 10 minutes left. I'm trying to correct the code I have, but I start making MORE dumbfuck mistakes because I'm in a hurry!
5 minutes left. As I hit this point of no return, I realize exactly where my initial reasoning went wrong, and how I could fix it, but I can't because I don't have enough time. Sadface.
So I hastily put together skeleton of the correct implementation, and as the clock is nearly up, I write a comment explaining the bits I can't get to write. Page up, top of file, type "the editor was shit LMAO" and comment it out. SUBMIT.
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Also hi ;>6 -
User: - The application throws an errror message.
Me: - The error message is caused by a minor bug that doesn't affect functionality, though. This is an old solution that is in the pipe to be redesigned from scratch. As this function is rarely used, perhaps you can live with this cosmetic bug for a couple more months?
User (one week later): - I haven't got any answer from you. How is this issue proceeding?2 -
This is a message to all “yes man” developers:
Yeah… we just got in that the client has new requirements for you to complete by EOD:
1. Go to the gas station
2. Buy two gallons of gasoline
3. Order two 2 ft long dildos online
4. Go to the center of your town
5. Scream “fuck me corporate daddy, I’ll do anything for you” 100 times
6. Shove one dildo into ur ass and one in your mouth
7. Pour gasoline all over yourself
8. Light yourself on fire
9. Contemplate what little self respect you have for yourself and the rest of the world…8 -
I'm on the fence about if the existence/mass production of shit like this is a good sign of a slightly more inclusive economy... or an early indicator of the apocalypse.
The circled part highly amused me.
It does give me s sense of peace and order due to it being sold by menards. They buy up bulk failures to launch and use their large audience to quickly dispose of them... so whoever had this stroke of 'genius', likely lost significant capital.41 -
!rant
“Are you drinking my soda?”
“Statute of limitations!”
“Did you know in some countries there’s a statute of limitations on murder?”
“And?”
“And that means sometimes it can run out.”
“And?”
“And that means you can’t be tried for the crime.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“What? No. Why?”
*gestures at soda* “You literally told me that after I took your soda.”
“Oh! Shit. You mentioned statute of limitations, _that_ was the connection, it wasn’t a response to you stealing my soda.”
“You looked me right in the eye and told me that some countries have a statute of limitations on murder.”
“I looked you in the eye because we were having a conversation!”2 -
Writing a full interpreter for a pseudo-assembly language.
It's kinda fun but the things a bit of a cunt of a problem because I only did this once before almost a decade and a half ago.
getting just the right format and deciding on the syntax is a slog. Just need something thats quick and sufficiently expressive because I'm not writing the assembly myself, I'm generating the assembly code that runs through the interpreter, so it has to be valid under a lot of conditions. -
For the last 2.5 weeks I have been working on a application for a client that essentially amounts up to a glorified asset management tool. This project had a crazy deadline and I was tasked to solo dev. Because I could choose what to build the application with I thought I would try out Bun and Elysia. Loved it. Thats not the point of the story. I spent about 130 hours in 2.5 weeks on the project, slept 3 hours last night delivered the project after multiple QA rounds. Clients response on slack: This is unusable. We can not test. Client shares screenshot of design and my implementation. I went off script with a silly input field that they designed that never got used in any other place in the app but in this one model, so I decided to rather reuse a working component than creating a stray one. Oh and obviously the panel that the comments live in is full hight and not 80% like the designs. So the app is unusable. FML. How does that make the app unusable? Can you post comments. Yes tard, can you upload assets, yes tard. So what about constructive feedback. *constructive feedback left the building* THE APP IS UNUASABLE. FIX NOW.4
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So, I fixed this shitty code, real shitty, inlined some shit and shaved off some other shit and it was fixed...
The reviewer says we'd better request a review from the dude that's actually responsible for that piece of shit code - what the fuck...
Here comes this bossy fucker saying they don't really understand that shit so they don't know for sure if there could be a better way...
Me, ignorant as always, popped a vessel figuring out a cleaner way.
I tell those sick fucks that we'd need to change some shit over at another repository, also maintained by the latter turd.
The latter turd says they like my second suggestion better, to which I reply,
'ok, I agree.'
In my mind that pull was done, should be closed and water under the bridge but oh how clueless I was...
SIX FUCKING MONTHS later the same shitbag pops out of god knows where asking if I still wanted to work on the pull....
"Motherfucker, my pull was for this fucking code, not for doing work on the other, obviously I'm not interested in doing that or else I would've opened a pull there instead of here, dumb-dumb" - I thought
Thou what I said was:
"No, I don't. I agree it's a problem better solved at the other repository."
Maybe I was a bit mean, was I? I don't know, honestly, people confuse me2 -
LMAO Devin AI who is the "software engineer" AI to replace software engineers, supposedly, is a small Asian kid with glasses and non-descript slightly ethnic skin, smiling broadly and proudly for your abuse
LMAO what are these people doing honestly what is this joke
Devin is an ad for venture capitalists / executives of startups. that means they want ethnic people they can abuse. they have to be Asians cuz smart. they have to have glasses cuz smart. this is the most racist thing I've ever seen9 -
Im not involved in any projects at all anymore. My direct collegae is planned fully for the coming months. It’s clear everyone just wants to get rid of me.
If i ask the teamlead for feedback i dont get any.
If i ask the manager for feedback i get to hear he talked to the lead but he has no time to talk with me.
Giving me a compliment hurted his guts. Ive spend weeks just documenting bullshit.
All im allowed is to help out with tiny annoying tasks and i need to do them 10000% perfect. I’m a human, i’m not perfect. I accept the fact i’m not and so should they.2 -
Both the FAT32 and ISO9660 file systems have a 4 GB file size limitation due to storing file sizes as a 32-bit integer. However, the developers of ISO9660 had an idea that the geniusheads at Microsoft failed to think of.
ISO 9660, the first widely used file system on optical discs, bypasses its own 4 GB file size limit by supporting multiple entries for the same file! So a 12 GB file can be represented as three entries for the same file name.
This is what future-proofing looks like.
If only Microsoft had had (sic.) this idea for FAT32 (and FAT16).1 -
Hopefully, you already know that the company controlled by the alledged reptiloid subhuman and olimpic testicle juggler formerly known as Mister Zuck My Tits is not to be trusted.
But as is always the case in this bitch, I've been forced into cowjizz flooded swamps' worth of stinking shit platforms for the sake of avoiding isolation.
And so, I've just found yet another way in which Facebook **THUNDERSTRIKE** ... the company, not the geriatric ward, is one of the CROWN ACHIEVEMENTS of human civilization.
Let me tell you something: some people are fucking broke. Hell, some people sleep on the streets, live on scraps, and willingly engage in acts of public defecation when provoked. But I'm not even talking about them no, just plain *broke*.
And so imagine being that guy who doesn't really use his phone much, except maybe for sharing cat pictures with mom because that's what being an absolute chad is all about. You don't get a new phone, because money is a __little__ bit tight. But THEN...
The dreaded CAPITAL strikes, and requests of you to bend and fall onto your knees so as to provide intense, intimate and manual -- as well as oral -- PLEASURE to the [NOT SO] METAPHORICAL PENIS of the """SYSTEM""".
Oh, what an abominable, drooooooling revenant that lies before you!
"Gimme your ass... " he says, menacingly, as you wail about in a futile attempt to guard and preserve the very last vestiges of your own anal virginity.
And so you fight, and kick him in the NADS with everything you have, down to the final shreds of vigor. Victory! Or so you thought...
"You must... " he mutters, mortally wounded "update WhatsApp... "
"Still you breathe?!" you exclaim, suddenly transformed into a heroic, sexy moustachoed arquebusier "After I'm done ~OILING~ my VICTORIOUS CHEST, I *shall* bestow DEATH uppon you!".
But as you rip open your shirt to apply sensual oiling to your marvellous frontal assets, your nemesis reveals it's portentous Portugal: "this new version of Android... " he gasps as he perishes "is incompatible with your device... "
"Ughh! Sacrebleu!" you shriek out in pain, realizing that you are now unable to ACCESS THE FUCKING DATA THAT IS IN YOUR OWN FUCKING HARDWARE BECAUSE OF A STUPID FORCED BINARY INCOMPATIBILITY.
That's right. Now even if I *do* get a new phone, I can't do shit about losing all of the family memes. And contacts and all of that shit, but the stickers are more important. A minor inconvenience, yes, and it didn't need all of this preamble but I was doing the dramatic fight scene bit inside my head as I was writing and I got into it.
Because the only documented way to transfer all of that data is to OPEN THE APPLICATION and scan some code, but everytime I go to do that, IT TELLS ME I NEED TO UPDATE. And every time I GO TO UPDATE, it says that MY PHONE is TOO FUCKING OLD!! AAAAAAAGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG!!!!
And you too, might be a dashing french man from centuries past, with both balls and tits down to your fucking knees, folding your arms in a position that exhumes smugness in a disgustingly irreverent and self-aggrandizing way, looking at me as a mere plebeian who cannot wrap his head around the mystical art of interacting with Google's black deuce box.
And you would be somewhat right in your judgement! But just having to fiddle about with these fucking pocket Elmo screens is such a traumatic experience for me that I'd rather lose my stickers.
[ADBREAK] Are you a debonair victorian undercover butt pirate, taking unparalleled care of your Falstaffian, highfalutin poils pubiens? Need your "sword" sharpened, as you browse through the pages of this magnanimous lexicon? Would you rather allocate final death to your coworkers than learn one more synonym for sonorous, supercilious and pontifical?
We all know that ALL you need to help keep that honor intact is slaying your enemies in high-stakes combat. But how to satisfy less gallant needs, when male prostitution is outlawed in more than sixteen duchies?
Look no further than BloodCurse, the ancient hex that will haunt your family for countless generations! With BloodCurse, you may crawl the earth as a mindless, shameless, piece of shit cockswallowing JUGGERNAUT that craves nothing BUT the consumption of scabbed human ass!
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Get your bottle of scents, sensual Portuguese chest oils, and fucking designer-drug bath salts for the low, low price of a passionate, unceassing self-blowjob! And use my code FRONTALASSETS for 60% OFF in your next soul-robbing foray into the felational dark arts!
Big ups to BloodCurse for sponsoring this RRRRRRRR~$RRR$$RR%5RRRRR$0000:>A48CC50A E3A1B22A : 330D4750 7C24E5A5|.......*3.GP|$.. 5262E7D5 0D1C24E6 : 85594B39 1CB7593E|Rb......YK9..Y>
:~12 -
ok I give up trying to make a screensaver for Linux
I don't even have anything to rant about
just everything I tried didn't work and nothing makes sense
I'm gonna find somewhere to bury my woes
this is so stupid, too. because I can just query the system if it's idle, run my app, and then ask my app to exit if there's any user input. but instead I'm trying to integrate it with the existing screensaver software. which evidently never runs my application for God knows what reason. and I'm tired of reading 100 pages hunting for the answer. where's my arch wiki page for how to make a screensaver =[10 -
A colleague changes the location of a test helper file imported in a bunch of tests. Doesn’t bother to check where that file is imported (except where he’s specifically using it himself).
As a result good dozen tests fail later on. The culprit doesn’t realize. And the rest of us have no clue why.
Multiple people are asked to look into why the tests are failing.
"Ok, who’s working on what?
We’ll create a shared document to track who’s working on what test."
Document is created, people get assigned.
"Hold on, looks like it’s just a faulty import." "Oh yeah same here." "Yeah for me as well."
"Ok we could simply appoint one person to fix all the imports."
"Well I’ve already gone ahead and opened a pull request to fix the test I was appointed to."
"Ah ok, well who can take care of the rest?"
"Wait I also opened a PR."
"Ok so I guess we can each open a PR?" "No we can just have a single branch we can all push to".
"Sure, who’s branch are we using"
"You can use the branch of my PR"
"Guys let me handle this, it’s ridiculous for us to all be doing this separately."
"You’re right, go ahead".
——
The culprit? A senior dev.
What would have literally taken a minute to do (or even no time at all with proper use of the IDE) turned into hours of wasted time. People getting interrupted, having to drop what they were doing to fix the consequences of this guy’s laziness (seriously don’t know what else to call it).
Ok maybe our reaction could have been more efficient, but we never should’ve even gotten to that point in the first place.2 -
New interview for senior devops
Next Technical interview is 1.5h technical interview
And interview after that is another technical interview where i am given a "small" task to complete in just 3 days.
Small task. 3 days.
Look
You corporate people disgust me.
You corporate people only want to find intelligent skilled engineers like me to get u ur work for ur clients done for free so u get to reject me for bs reason and sell ur product for 1.2 million dollars a month.
Fuck off.
I told her how i was taken advantage of by building that coffee shop backend project for 10 days for free just to finish it, get rejected and they kept the entire codebase to their company ownership and not mine ownership.
FUCK
OFF
I AM , ***NOT*** FUCKING DOING UR VFUCKING JOB FOR FUCKING FREE JUST TO NOT EVEN KNOW IF IM GONNA GET HIRED. WASTE SOMEONE ELSES TIME. EVEN FOR THIS "UP TO $6500 GROSS" SALARY U OFFER I DONT GIVE AFUCKING SHIT. FUCK OFF. GET FUCKED. YOU SHOULD OFFER ME 65,000$ A MONTH FOR ME TO FIRST GIVE A SHIT. WASTE SOMEONE ELSES TIME U FUCKS12 -
So I am considering side games to add my main games. Mini games I guess they are called. I thought it might be fun to have random chessboards in game you can actually play. I wanted to actually have a decent chess engine behind the game. Off the bat I found a GPL one. I think it is designed to be communicated externally. So what does that mean for using it in my game? If I communicate to an external process is this violating GPL? I have no intention of making my game open source. Well it seems this use case is very nuanced:
https://opensource.stackexchange.com/...
The consensus on a lot of these discussions is the scope of the use of the program. Are you bundling for convenience or bundling for intrinsic utility? This is fascinating because using a compiler on a Windows platform could be a possibly violation. That is a proprietary program calling a GPL one. This is actually handled in the GPL as far as I know. So, if I use a GPL engine as a mini game is that the same as a full blown chess game? What if I support 10 different engines in a full blown chess game?
Now to play devil's advocate even further. Are proprietary phone apps that communicate to GPL software that serve data intrinsically linked? The app will not function without the server or computer os the server runs on. A lot of the web tech is largely GPL or has large amount of GPL programs. Should the web code be under GPL? Should the phone app be under GPL? This sounds ridiculous to some degree. But is that the same as bundling a GPL app and communicating to it from the program via network or command line? The phone app depends upon this software.
Now to protect myself I will find a decent chess engine that is either LGPL or something more permissive. I just don't want the hassle. I might make the chess engine use a parameter in case someone else might want a better engine they want to add though. At that point it is the user adding it. Maybe the fact that it would not be the only game in town is a factor as well.
I am also considering bundling python as a whole to get access to better AI tools (python is pretty small compared to game assets). It seems everything is python when it comes to AI. The licensing there is much better though. I would love to play with NLP for commanding npcs.
I am not discussing linking at all, btw.4 -
the irony appears to be that JavaScript is more consistent than rust
so let's say you want to create some enums to represent some potential values in a REST JSON payload
well you can implement Display trait but that won't determine the JSON output
you can make a as_str() method and that doesn't even make sense frankly, I guess it's not even a trait even though it's everywhere in the std library? (traits being rust's version of interfaces, so you'd think they should be consistent)
I have a halfway urge to say rust was a beloved language but then the foundations' drama made everyone escape the ship, leaving behind a mess
well evidently the answer is you use the stupid annotations:
enum Lang {
#[serde(rename = "en-US")]
EnUS,
}
well then this only works in serialization with serde. way to go.
how about if I have some JSON data that starts with numbers? I have an interval field in the REST that expects things like 1m, 15m denoting time scale
well no deal
because rust doesn't want enums starting with numbers
and here I thought rust was superior with its static typing. but I am having to rename things all the way down and nothing is consistent. this would be so trivial in JavaScript. and there's only one toString() method! and no interfaces people say you should use while nobody uses them!36 -
A production build of the hello world example for Blazor takes 5 seconds to launch. Half-baked, rickety sad excuse of a technology built in a crunch and never rebuilt correctly.
The simple yet surprising reason why it's so fucking slow is that Microsoft couldn't figure out a way to compile C# to webassembly while also beating others to market so they compiled the runtime to webassembly instead. The Fucking IL interpreter.13 -
It's time for war!
I have two examples doing the same thing. They're bot generated by chatGPT.
React:
import React, { useState } from 'react';
function IncrementalButton() {
// Create state to hold the count value
const [count, setCount] = useState(0);
// Function to handle incrementing the count
const increment = () => {
setCount(count + 1);
};
return (
<div>
<h2>Count: {count}</h2>
<button onClick={increment}>Increment</button>
</div>
);
}
export default IncrementalButton;
VUE:
<template>
<div>
<h2>Count: {{ count }}</h2>
<button @click="increment">Increment</button>
</div>
</template>
<script>
export default {
data() {
return {
count: 0,
};
},
methods: {
increment() {
this.count++;
},
},
};
</script>
<style>
/* Add your CSS styles here if needed */
</style>
Whats better in your opinion?12 -
in other news, i'm in a group of like 5 devs out of a thousand who actually have something to show for this hacking project that's been going on for two weeks now
most "project" links lead to empty github repos, half assed repos, or cloned repo templates / empty / useless READMEs
wouldn't be surprised if i see a fork of bitcoin submitted soon
oh wait that's litecoin
but, fake it till you make right?
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 -