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how to be a shitty client:
- have a legacy database where column names are misspelled and everything is nullable
- hire external help which instead of helping break the ui (bonus points for breaking the api too)
- demand a very much custom auth logic but decide to use aws cognito for shits and giggles
- demand 1hr daily meetings
- demand biometric auth with 0 knowledge of how biometric auth works (the previous devs just had a face id prompt which does nothing and retrieved email and password saved on the device???)
- message me at 2am because you don't understand how timezones work + demand a build while you're at it
- call me a "heretical pagan" because i took a day off on a holiday you don't celebrate (???)
i could go on but i think this is enough11 -
Manager: You want a promotion? To senior? Ha. Well, build this web app from scratch, quickly, while still doing all your other duties, and maybe someone will notice and maybe they’ll think about giving you a promotion! It’ll give you great visibility within the company.
Your first project is adding SSO using this third party. It should take you a week.
Third party implementation details: extremely verbose, and assumes that you know how it works already and have most of it set up. 👌🏻
Alternative: missing half the details, and vastly different implementation from the above
Alternative: missing 80%; a patch for an unknown version of some other implementation, also vastly different.
FFS.
Okay, I roll my own auth, but need creds and a remote account added with the redirects and such, and ask security. “I’m building a new rails app and need to set up an SSO integration to allow employees to log in. I need <details> from <service>.” etc. easy request; what could go wrong?
Security: what’s a SSO integration do you need to log in maybe you don’t remember your email I can help you with that but what’s an integration what’s a client do you mean a merchant why do merchants need this
Security: oh are you talking about an integration I got confused because you said not SSO earlier let me do that for you I’ve never done it before hang on is this a web app
Security: okay I made the SSO app here you go let me share it hang on <sends …SSL certificate authority?>
Boss: so what’s taking so long? You should be about done now that you’ve had a day and a half to work on this.
Abajdgakshdg.
Fucking room temperature IQ “enterprise security admin.”
Fucking overworked.
Fucking overstressed.
I threw my work laptop across the room and stepped on it on my way out the door.
Fuck this shit.rant root mentally adds punctuation root talks to security root has a new project why is nowhere hiring enterprise sso12 -
Making python 2x faster by replacing enums with literal values.
Pros, it's faster, cons, it's unreadable.
God I miss compiled languages. At least optimizing them requires intelligent problem solving.
It's a text parser state machine transition so it's a code hot spot, so this kind of optimization is worthwhile. But it's kinda annoying.
Next is get rid of any semblance of readability and replace the match with an array index...31 -
Update to my "I broke prod" rant:
- I managed to unfuck it on the same evening.
- Worked fine for one day
- Crashed today morning
- Can't fix it because I had surgery yesterday and am on sick leave currently
=> Probably gonna result in me VPNing into the comp network and RDPing into the prod instance to analyse the failure
Yep, ladies and gents, more open heart surgery on the menu!11 -
LinkedIn: You have one notification!!!!
Me: What is it?
LinkedIn: 10 types of horses that make your more employable if you don't fuck them
Me: What
LinkedIn: 10 types of h-
Me: No, I heard you, why did you send me a notification about this?
LinkedIn: You want a job, don't you?
Me: Yes, but don't send me this type of notification again.
LinkedIn: Updated your preferences!
The nefarious LinkedIn, two days later: You have one new notification!!!!!!4 -
New idea: Fuck raytracing for global illumination because you just need too many rays for it to converge
What if we do surfels (to keep the number of probes down and relevant to our scene) and we update the 4x4-ish sized hemisphere irradiance maps not by tracing a single ray per frame per surfel. I have a fast as shit compute shader rasterizer... What if I just raster each surfel each frame? Should be around the same number of pixels as the primary visibility so totally feasible....
Each frame just jitter the projection a bit and voila. Should have extremely high quality diffuse global illumination at well below 1 ms. Holy shit this might just work3 -
Amazing! My joke functionality worked and the server delivered it's content successfully to the client. The joke: malloc is wrapped to give that message and retry IMMEDIATELY. Expectation is that the computer that was already in panic mode gets even fucked up more because it's out of memory. My malloc is literally while((ptr=malloc()} == NULL) { show_warning()
;malloc();}. Imagine if it didn't give that warning, I would've never known that a malloc failed. Who checks their freaking malloc result? You should, but i do not see much people doing it.
The previous crash on screen is what happens if you're doing a get instead of a post. I just declare my server app indestructible btw. Ffs!5 -
Why do I program everything myself in C, even a rest service? By writing everything yourself in C you make simple things complex to make complex things simple.
Writing a rest service for example learns you a part of http protocol, how sockets work, how to create a parser (in this case json). Three thing's you would miss if I used python.
On top, your rest service uses WAY lesser resource than written in python for example. Especially for CPU usage.
Allocating and free-ing still often have issues there, but I consider it a skill problem / discipline issue. Not blaming C for that. The rules are clear.12 -
I got a song that I like a lot but it's made by a kid for kids. Therefor, youtube doesn't let you add it to a playlist since it's "Kid content". When I saw that message, I've felt treated like a freaking pedo. What the hell do those fuckers think about the general population? Who is evil, sees evil. And like if this is a solution to anything. You can just bookmark it in your browser.
Sick shit, how negative can you be YouTube. Judgemental fuckers80 -
I've made the json protocol. It's a protocol containing only json. No http or anything.
To parse an json object from a stream, you need a function that returns the length of the first object/array of all your received data. The result of that function is to get the right chunk of the json to deserialize.
For such function, json needs to be parsed, so I wrote that function in C to be used with my C server and Python client. I finally implemented a C function into python function that has a real benefit / use case. Else you had to validate but by bit by the python json parser and that's slow while streaming. Some messages are quite big.
Advantage of this protocol is that it's full duplex.
I'm very happy!36 -
Me: Hey, guys, this stuff is seriously flammable. Like, I’m surprised it hasn’t caught fire yet. I really want to clean it up. Here’s how I’d make it better.
Management: No. It’s fine, it works. Don’t touch it. It’s getting replaced anyway. Just add the things on top like we asked you to, and call it a day.
Me: Are you sure? This is seriously going to be a problem.
Management: We just said it’s getting replaced. Don’t. touch. anything. OK?
Me: alright.
… Eight weeks later …
Management: so this thing caught fire over the weekend, and the fire spread to other areas. We’re doing some emergency cleanup. The new guy looked at it and figured out why, and has some great ideas on fixing it, so give him some well-deserved praise!
Me: Hey! I told you about this months ago!
Management: Yes. I tuned out during today’s firefighting meetings. But it’s important to strike a balance in everyone’s style. Do you have any other concerns?9 -
Frustrated that my build system wasn't recognizing a file change I added to my code. It kept telling me that a function didn't exist in the linked object (linker error). I checked everything and stared at this shit for about 15 minutes or more. The signature matched, the function existed, the relevant source files existed. I was starting to imagine impossible scenarios. I cleaned the project and recompiled. No errors, everything linked just fine. Fuck you? I guess...
So I decided to needed to walk around so I went into my bosses office.
me: I don't want to program anymore.
boss: What do you want to do?
me: Shovel shit.
boss: They are the same thing.
me: True...
TLDR: Tool and possibly skill issue results in frustration and humor.6 -
It's still in development. It often says the opposite from what is expected. Try Retoor1b chatbot at https://llm.molodetz.nl
This was result after building bot + chat website from scratch including training with embeddings. Design is generated by GPT, I tried my own but all ugly.
It's quite cool huh? Ask it to write some code for you. It's absolutely terrible. If it's down, try again in 5 minutes. I'm still working on it.
What's the result? I finally have a toolkit to make good/serious bots. Code could be bit better, but that's for other day.
Stack: self written webserver (and yes, you can post a gb to it or ddos it. Not sure if it survives the first one. I should limit requests to one mb anyway. Http headers may officially not be more than 4096 in total) since I know http protocol from my head anyway. Python websockets module. Asyncio, chromadb.
It could have xss issues. Don't care.
Let me know what you think41 -
why I say FUCK AI -
-> So much stupidity with "It will replace devs". Any dev who has more than 2 brain cells has had their issues with ChatGPT or AI knows that AI is not sufficient nor good enough to get even basic tasks done.
-> "It will be good in 5 years" - well then, talk to me after 5 years. I'm not buying a product or an idea on a "promise". I judge the tech for what it is today, not on what it can be in 5 years.
-> "Just trust me bro" - I see influencers suck that robot dick, but no explanations are given. What they say sounds to me like it's parroted off of general mass media. Nothing new to add nor any insight.
-> AI has issues that nobody seems to talk about. Hallucinations being the biggest of them all. ChatGPT tells you something, and you're supposed to take it as fact? That's too dangerous for a normal person.
-> Junior software developers are scared even to this day that AI can replace them. If they can't think for themselves, it falls upon us (or at least, me) to drive them in the correct direction or give them real opinions on what it is.30 -
Why do we post here? Is this just an outlet for our intrusive thoughts? A therapy session for things we can't articulate in meetings? Being able to say controversial things we are not allowed to say other places?
It feels like this place exists outside of time and reality. It really is refreshing, sometimes frustrating, and sometimes really offensive. Things that exist here that would not be tolerated elsewhere:
1. alternate ideas of software, sometimes politics, theories of existence, people liking javascript
2. ostream (I love you man)
3. bullying
4. saying what you really feel
5. telling people to fuck off
What would we do without this place?
Meanwhile my intrusive thoughts:17 -
Whenever I see a website ask
1. Accept all cookies
2. Customize selection
I can see what they're really saying...
1. Accept! and I'll fuck off out of your way and let you read.
2. So you wanna read the content heh? Step into our office. Ok then, lets go through them one-by-one and you can explain to me why you think you don't need that cookie. and then MAYBE we'll fuck off our of your face so you can read the scant few lines of text standing between you and finishing your homework/job/whatever.18 -
Okay so my last idea has one big problem: I need to project vertices into a single space which encompasses an entire hemisphere. AND straight lines need to remain straight when projected.
That's not something a typical projection matrix can do. Damn. I'm thinking maybe something like octahedral projection? [1]
But I'm not sure there's an answer. Else I would have to chop up the hemisphere into parts and try rastering each tri for each view. Ugh, that sucks
[1] https://researchgate.net/figure/...5 -
I am going to create a define in my code:
#define BIT_CH CHAR_BIT
Then do search replace of CHAR_BIT to "update" the code. Probably need to wait for a refactor. No idea if CHAR_BIT is even used in our code base. I just want to be a BIT_CH.
I was sitting here thinking what a valid use for an object called BitCh or BitChar. Still trying to come up with some valid reason to create such an object.
And people say programming as an art is dead.8 -
I can retire! I automated myself!
I introduce to you, retoorii1b! Yes - I fit in a 1b LLM. Retoorii1b is a bit retoorded tho. It's quite realistic.
I tested several LLM's with same training and it was amazing. Even a 0.5b that had the most interesting Dutch ever. Her Dutch is like my English I suppose.
The 0.5b one could code fine. retoorii1b still has some ethics to delete to make it more realistic.
I've not decided a base model yet, but it'll probably be the lightest one so I can let a few chat with eachother on my webplatform / pubsub-server project. I have a few laptops to host on. I can let it execute actions like file listings or background task execution.
See comments for some very awkward response regarding my file listing. She described everything.
She just said these things. I'm kinda proud. I became a parent:
3. **Keep functions short and sweet**: Aim for functions under 50 lines long. Any longer and you're just wasting people's time.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have more important things to attend to... like coding my next game in Unreal Engine.31 -
Fucking hell, why does the phone decide I can't use my last 4% of battery for the torch function? Fuckers, you can imagine that if the user does that, it's really needed right!? Give a warning or smth. It's not like that 4% is good for a phone call either. What's the point of that last 4% battery then.
I live in a park 5km from outside village center. When it gets dark in the middle of nowhere, it gets black, really black. So, I was cycling home and my bicycle light died. And halfway, it was almost completely dark so I wanted to use the torch on my phone so I could at least see if I'm still on the bicycle road. That's how dark it was and it fucking refused. But then - someone caught up from behind and could follow that person until my exit (one I would've never had found anymore) cycled a hundred meters in pitch black until I saw lights of the park. God dammit, fucked up experience. If that cyclist with light wasn't there, I would've had to walk and hoping I was walking in a straight line. Normally I already go before it gets that dark because bicycle light nearly isn't enough.
And that all, because those fuckers decide what you do with your last battery. Fuck you.
Same for headphone, if ten percent battery left, more than a hour, it starts beeping every minute. So I have to listen a hour that the battery is almost "dead"? Almost dead is 5 minutes left fuckers, not whole hour!
Who designs these things?25 -