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The handle on the faucet in one of the bathrooms broke off today. You can still operate the faucet with some finger strength. It is just difficult. We also got a reminder today that we are not to be streaming video or music using the company wifi. They ask that we use our own bandwidth on our phones.
So on the bathroom door where the faucet handle is broken I placed this sign:10 -
Hey everyone in all seriousness I am gonna be out of the dev field now - hopefully forever. I’m back in school now and hopefully will become employed in emergency response. Before dev, I have had jobs where I could directly help people with their troubles and I could reduce a lot of chaos. I really enjoyed it and I want to kind of steer my life back towards that. I find that while I was an employed dev, I felt like I was contributing a lot towards corporate greed, this wealth gap problem, and a bunch of other stuff. It all felt morally wrong (to me - not judging here). I also felt the worse I have ever felt in a job - constantly burned out, depressed, lonely, sleep deprived, and almost even ashamed of myself of how I constructed my life thus far. I had some good times meeting some cool ass people in some cool ass places tho.
Now, even though I’m still sleep deprived and EXTREMELY poor, I’m very happy now. I am excited to start this thing I’m more passionate about. It feels good to not feel my head hurt every day from trying to fix shit that will always break anyways. I feel so relieved to be away from the meaningless turbulence of it all. Just wanted to share my lil success here!!9 -
No one fucking knows how to handle/raise errors.
I feel like this is the least talked topic in all fucking programming industry. This shit needs to be tought even more than the fucking SOLID, DRY, KISS, YAGNI and other kinds of buzzwords that fancy devs love tossing left and right.
Basically everyone just does "whatever you dumb error just dont bother me". They will just log/return null/ignore the errors and be in their oblivion with bugs propagating upstream the call stack.
"Throwing errors you say? Ew, why do you want to produce more errors?". Yeah, right, just stick another log/return null/or ignore the fact that the monke calling your function with bullshit arguments.
"But bro it's so difficult and time consuming and it would never happen!" Yes, you fucker! Yes! Programming IS fucking difficult if you want reliable systems! Did you not know that!? Well now you do! Go and fucking learn it!
FUCK!11!1!!27 -
I made a Product in my free time (after work hours)
it's a SAAS thats supposed to be an add-on to apps and websites
Added it to my own apps (what better than Test in prod) and over months fixed its pitfalls n ngl, even im impressed by its core tech and resilience
But thats kinda it -.- Ik I should make a landing page and launch it etc but I lost the will the day the "core tech" was 99% perfected
Im a Product guy not a businessman T__T
It's the weirdest mental block ive had in a while ffs.8 -
Our PM wanted us to do a massive refactor of our Codebase. He gave it 1 Story Point ( or in his words :"Small T-Shirt size") since it was just a refactor, what could Go wrong ?
Answer: Everything . WE needed 2 Months to get Everything up to standart (how he saw it) and 2 of the programmers just quit because they were getting yelled at for Not refactoring fast enough9 -
These motherfucking incompetent programmers... Demon spaghetti code base saga continues.
So they have a password change functionality in their web app.
We have to change the length of it for cybersecurity insurance. I found a regex in the front end spaghetti and changed it to match the required length.
Noticed 7 regexes that validate the password input field. Wtf, why not just use one?! REGEX ABUSE! Also, why not just do a string length check, it's fucking easy in JS. I guess regex makes you look smart.
So we test it out and the regexes was only there for vanity, like display a nicely designed error that the password doesn't have x amount of characters, doesn't have a this and that, etc.
I check the backend ColdFusion mess that this charismatic asshole built. Finally find the method that handles password updates. THERE'S NO BACKEND VALIDATION. It at least sanitises the user input...
What's worse is that I could submit a blank new password and it accepts it. No errors. I can submit a password of "123" and it works.
The button that the user clicks when the password is changed, is some random custom HTML element called <btn> so you can't even disable it.
I really don't enjoy insulting people, but this... If you're one of the idiots who built this shit show and you're reading this, change your career, because you're incompetent and I don't think you should EVER write code again.7 -
I already knew that Disney was scum, but trying to use an EULA to claim immunity in a wrongful death is off the charts.
Imagine, you used WIndows once and then switched to Linux. Then Bill Gates accidentally runs you over while executing his duties at Microsoft. Well sucks for you. You agreed to some absurd terms in the Windows EULA. You waived your right to sue Microsoft for any reason. Now lets be less ridiculous. You are at a hospital and the machine that helps the doctors determine drug dose has a software bug. This software is made by Microsoft. Nope buddy, you are fucked. You used Windows once.
I realize the logic even for a lawyer was flawed, but the fact that these POS companies try this shit is so wtf. I am not even sure what to think. They are definitely not interested in your well being.8 -
so, I quit my corporate 9-5 job in 2020. and decided to move out of the field completely.
Moved to a small, tier 3 city, joined my family manufacturing business, cut off my circle, and completely shut my laptop....
...for 4 months.
then started developing solutions for my business, inventory management, invoicing, accounting, and other small apps.
and finally, after 3 years, in 2023, decided to move back to IT. but not as an employee this time, but as an enterpreneur.
developed a social media app, called Dialogbaaz.
probably coding is a disease that doesnt seem to go away. lets see where it finally takes me!4 -
tl : "hey dotenv, we have a presentation with VP tomorrow, do you want to present any of your achievements in product?"
me: "umm, what achievements ?"
tl : "you know, something that you added in app which made a good impact to various metrics like DAU, MAU, less bad reviews etc"
me: "umm... i coded the tasks and features created by you folks. they got shipped at some point of your liking, and are now being tracked by you for its success failure. So i am not sure what to take credit for"
TL: "no, no.. i mean like any bugs or issues that you fixed outside of your daily jira tasks which you tracked to be a sucess"
me: "well as far as tracking is concerned, then neither i know how to track them nor i did. but yea, i identified a bug where an outdated payload was generating bad request and giving a silent failure instead of success which recently got shipped. maybe its helping users get actual response instead of "we will get back to you in some time" , so this might get considered?
TL : "oh that? that we have already added as one of the team's achievements (=PM+TL's achievement) and have tracked it to be a succes"
me : "what th- okay. then how about that api failure which was identified by AVP as "something is not right" in which the api was intermittently taking a long time to respond. he tagged me and i set up logs to identify which type of users got that issue and the actual cause of that api failure. that was definitely a good fox for app as we ended up with good reviews on playstore for our new release?"
TL : "oh that? how can you take credit for that fix? it was identified by AVP, you just added similar logs that we were using for tracking errors and implemented a fix when it came to you as a sprint task? its a team achievement"
me : "but you guys didn't identified the cause through your logs!? my log was more granular. and even if that's the case, we aren't allowed to pick any task just as is, without getting it added to sprint , right?"
TL : "nah, that was a team win"
*6 months later, during appraisal time"
TL : "Hey dotenv, you haven't displayed any leadership skills and haven't gone put of the box to improve the product. Here's your peanut appraisal 🗑️"
me : 🥲🔫🤯🪦
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fuck this stupid neaurocrst structure. i hate being a selfish prick than a team player, but either give credits as well as punishment to the team or gove credits as well as punishment to the single person. but wtf is thos culture of giving reward to team and punishment to individual? fckin communists
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Every single stakeholder in my company tells me that I should be working on something different, every time I talk to them. For example - we've got some issues, that I've ranted on previously. I go to my manager, and tell him that it's going to take longer than I'd hoped, because the author of this part of the codebase wasn't familiar with functional programming or OOP, didn't document anything, and just generally produced an unmaintainable, borderline indescribable mess. The next guy after him made it all so much worse, because they're both a couple of tryhard douchebags, and I hope they fucking die. For real. I hope fire ants are involved.
Anyway, getting carried away there, whew. So I tell my manager that we'd be further ahead just replacing the code, because it's only doing a couple of things, and should not be so complex. He says "cool, but what you really need to be doing is rebuilding this other thing." So I switch gears and work on that other thing until I hit a point that requires the input of another stakeholder. I go to talk to this guy, and all hell breaks loose "why are you working on that, this is higher priority", and I explain the sequence of events. Manager denies having said what he said, I look like an asshole, yet again. Then the old "this should be simple, just change this" from the dudes who don't know code, and don't want to know. I try to explain, offer to show them precisely why their "simple ask" is anything but, but they just start screaming about how they hate technology. Yeah, well me fucking too. I keep hearing about how much "job security" I have, but man I'm going to lose my mind at this rate. I have seventeen motherfucking things that are "emergencies", and as many fucking dumb ass unintuitive workflows to go through to get them changed. All on production, because this place is fucking stupid. Just let me discard this shitty legacy code and be done with it already. FUCK.
Thank fucking fuck it's friday. In about six, seven hours, my goal is to be so fucking wasted that I can't feel my face. Get drunk, play with the dog, install a new distro on the desktop, maybe play a little guitar (the guitar is normal sized. It's not a ukulele or anything). Perfect friday night.9 -
I haven' t logged here for years
I was very active here while I was studying, I had a drive of having a career in tech and I do. It's great and all, the path was very inspiring and motivating but I have reached the destination and I am here for some time. It is kinda depressing, @kiki 's 32gb ram picture actually made me log in because i related with this.
I guess one should also be looking for paths to pursue rather than destinations to stay. And I feel that it's not that easy either I see some people just getting on paths like... craft beer tasting or... some sport or something... which on it's own could be just a cope. But Pursuing them could open new branches of possibilities. New roads to be crossing.1 -
Fucking search bars. It seems like no one is interested in making search on their website actually work. It always gives me some random shit all while missing relevant results I can find myself by scrolling through menus. It’ll miss stuff even while searching the exact subtext. Every. Single. Time.
If it’s not an open source library’s docs with Algolia, you can forget about their search bar.6 -
Guinea pigs are not from Guinea and they aren’t pigs
JavaScript has nothing to do with Java
Computer science is not an actual science
Lawsuit is not an actual suit that the judge wears
Siouxsie Suioux is not Native American
Sugar gliders aren’t made of sugar
People don’t drive on driveways and don’t park on parkways
Carpets have nothing to do with either cars or pets
Gunpowder actually looks like noodles and not like powder
Coca-Cola has no coconut and no cocaine in it. It also contains no cola nuts
Peanuts aren’t actually nuts
Watermelon doesn’t taste like a melon
Laptops are usually used while standing on desks, not laps
GPU, as in graphics processing unit, can process things that aren’t graphical
Silverback gorillas’ backs ain’t made of silver
Rod Steward is not a rod and not a steward
Guy Standing can sit
People who say they can’t stand something usually can actually stand up
People who call themselves woke do sleep sometimes
Hibernation mode in Windows doesn’t actually hibernate anything
Kool Aid can be served hot
Wall sockets can be used while not being attached to a wall
WC is not a closet
MrBeast is in fact human
Dodge cars aren’t better at dodging things than other cars
Some AC units can be operated using DC
Most men don’t menstruate
Pop bottles don’t always go pop
Backpack can be used while not being worn on your back
Watches don’t watch anything
Some keyboards aren’t actually a single board
Cigarettes have cigars, but cassettes don’t have cass, and Gillette doesn’t have gills
Dyson doesn’t make Dyson spheres
Hairdryers can dry things that aren’t hair
Beds aren’t usually made of bedrock
ThinkPads can’t think
MacBooks aren’t books
Ceilings don’t ceil
Platinum records aren’t made of platinum
Training doesn’t always involve trains
Great Britain ain’t that great
HDMI can carry signal that isn’t HD
Fingers do fing but autists don’t aut
American Football band doesn’t play american football
Taylor Swift is neither a taylor nor a swift
Hard disk drive doesn’t drive
Tank tops has nothing to do with the top part of a tank
Tea bags do sometimes contain herbs that aren’t tea
Tea isn’t usually teal
Jack Black isn’t black
Fingernails aren’t nails32 -
Our company decided to buy a new platform from a third party company..but they did not pay at all at once, it was like a loan, and every month we received a new feature to integrate in our code system, after a couple of months the company stopped paying, then they decided to cut the relation and suddenly I was working 18 hours per day to build the platform that they were supposed to buy.. we were told that we had one month to finish, of course we didn’t make it, I got fired the same year :D1
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If finally happened. My cats broke me down.
After years of spotty internet, in which I couldn't resolve websites, to which the solution always was to reach down and push the RJ45 jack with the broken off clip that connects my router to my pihole back in, because my cats pulled it out once again.
They made me do. They finally made me do it. After all those years. Today, my cat pulled it out like ten times in a row... So I finally did it. I walked over in the other room, grabbed a new cable and plugged that one it.
Try that again, cat. I dare you. Try it again!1 -
Today was not my sharpest day but managed to sit eight hours on this chair with a laptop on my arm leaning. It's very comfortable.
I made a regex interpreter. Three versions, the first one was nicely programmed and functional but found out that it was 16 times slower than the clib one (at least!). Then i found out how extremely fast the clib one was and found out that the compiling to bytecode what they do is extremely effective. So, i've wrote my one bytecode compiler that is faster than theirs. So, the second version was born. After abusing that thing to find out what kinda speeds i could get out of it, it became very unmaintainable, beyond resque. So i made third version, this one is very performant. It supports [abc]{3} (three times dupplicating group) for example. It supports 0-9 and a-z that converts to 'd' and 'a' (shorter for speed). It converts [a0-9a-z]]{3} to [lada][lada][lada]. The bytecode is not smaller many times than source, but not having to think, suits the interpreter very well. It's blazing fast.
I wish I could smth like this for a living. Develop a language for a living or socket servers. Tired of python (great language, but boring).
Thanks for listening to my tedtalk6 -
It's been a while since I've heard a consensus of a moronic idea from the corner offices. I was invited to a department planning meeting (just to listen, not necessarily engage or add value) and discussion went to the development of a mobile app.
Mgr1: "The CEO has the net present value of the mobile project as $20 million. Where did he get that number?"
VP: "No idea."
Mgr2: "How will it be any different than our web site that is already mobile compliant?"
VP: "It is to gain market share"
Mgr3: "Market share from who? A mobile app is not going to increase our customer base. At best, it will only move some of our existing customers to mobile. No way it would scale to those numbers."
VP: "The primary benefit is so customers can browse offline."
Mgr2: "Offline browsing isn't listed in the milestones."
Mgr1: "We're not going to push and keep gigs of data up-to-date on someone's phone just for random times they don't have internet access."
VP: "I guess that's right. We can push our pdf catalog. That's only a few hundred meg."
Mgr2: "Pushing the catalog? That's not on the listed milestones"
VP: "Its all assumed."
Mgr3: "Who owns this project? Web team is already maxed to capacity."
Mgr2: "Marketing team only has 3 developers, we can't take on anything as complex as a mobile app and support the existing processes."
Mgr1: "What about the network infrastructure and PCI compliance? We're talking about a system for the web site and another for mobile, right?"
Mgr2: "Who is going to manage all the versions in the app stores and future changes to the mobile platform?"
Mgr4: "Not us"
Mgr2: "Nope"
Mgr1: "OK, good. Its very likely this project will be dead on arrival at the next company strategic meeting."
VP: "Mobile the only project on the strategic meeting agenda. Sorry guys, it's happening. We're not going to leave $20 million sitting on the table.
<awkward silence>
VP: "Next item of business ..."3 -
Dear web devs,
PLEASE learn how to (or teach/inform your clients) correctly target ads.
Thank You
Also, WTF??? and even WZF?!?! Who created this? Furthermore who the hell paid for this to be an ad, what are they trying to achieve and how tf do they think this will achieve that???
PS-
In case you're wondering what i was looking up on thesaurus.com, or would like to assume/blame this ad on my browsing history, cookies and/or something like google listening in the background through my mic... nope. Looked up "adage" and im waaay too adept at cybersecurity and easily annoyed by anything doing something i didnt explicitly tell it to.
if you're ignorant of the google listening thing:
yes this is totally a real thing that the vast majority of Smartphone users have no clue is happening despite it being in t&c. Try a few, somewhat relevant to this topic, google searches and youll find suggested searches like "can my phone read my mind?".
I tend to explicitly ban shit like that on everything (even devices of anyone on my property that never logged into my internet... im not paranoid, just not a fan of tech doing things i didnt tell it to)... but when i needed to enable/allow it on a dev for 30min, the next time i went to look for a book, one of the top suggestions (before typing anything) was "Burmese Pythons"... i looked back at my activity for that 30min days ago... I had been explaining some basic python code to a kid from myanmar... so it was pretty amusing.28 -
Something I wrote in my "how not to run a company" notebook:
Getting told you've now replaced the CTO as the person people ask for support (literally, he was recieving no questions), but you're not experienced enough to be promoted to senior.
I replied by telling them I was interviewing elsewhere.
Made me laugh. Is it really that hard for management to get that they should invest in talent?6 -
Struggling with Linux driver bullshit today. Trying to update the graphics driver completely hosed the networking, second monitor (HDMI), and I assume a bunch of other stuff. I tried using the Additional Drivers utility and it nearly made my system non bootable. So on my second computer I had to look up how to unfuck my machine using the command line. Yet another classy set of bullshit from Gnome. The driver for all this was trying to fix some java programs that show wonky depending upon where the window is on my second display. After unfucking the machine I found that resetting all the display settings for both displays magically fixed the java program fuckery. How the fuck? Literally setting things like display resolution, default display, moving virtual displays around. This bullshit somehow fixed display problems with java apps.
So I decided there is a perfect OS out there somewhere, but it isn't iOS, it isn't Windows and it isn't Linux. I decided to make the Perfect OS, or P-OS for short. Gonna use P-OS as a fake OS in my games I make. lol14 -