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Me: PHP, please load the images.
PHP: No.
Me: Come on PHP, the deadline is tonight.
PHP: Haha nope.
Me: What if I swap the libraries?
PHP: Still no.
Me: What if I add a symlink?
PHP: No. And also I hate you.
Me: *gives up and sends an email to the client saying we have to delay the release*
PHP: lololol jk here's the images haha
Me: :/13 -
Presenting my paper on PHP Security in IEEE conference today... Wish me luck. I hope it gets published 😃🤞4
-
Hello world, this is my first rant :)
Today at work, this was on the whiteboard.
Little "war" between the iOS pole and the PHP pole :D (Obviously PHP is better)
19 -
I am working on another developer's PHP code, and I found a new way that he done the redirect after the login with PHP!
30 -
Clint want custom CMS with php,
*makes custom CMS with php
Client thinks it's not php coz it looks pretty.
*shows php code
client still not convinced it's php8 -
Sysadmin TIL:
Hiring PHP developers does not contribute to the quota of employees with disabilities.1 -
What if your programming language would be chosen by The Sorting Hat from Harry Potter?
You would sit like:
*please not php, please not php, please not php*3 -
Subtle irony:
Tons of people rant about how bad PHP is on devRant.
devRant's is built using PHP.
Love it4 -
I learnt a bit of Java recently. I wish I didn't. Because I primarily work with php. Now I kind of dislike php.19
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So I bitched about how shitty PHP was during the whole four years of my major and the first job I landed was a PHP developer position...9
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PHP doesn’t scale. Riiiiiight. Wikipedia runs entirely on PHP and is the fifth most visited site on the internet. There’s also this little site called Facebook that uses PHP, ever heard of it?
PHP is slow. Sure, old PHP can be slow. The argument is about as sound is saying that OS X is a terrible OS because my first Apple IIe was slow. PHP 7 is plenty fast, even three time faster than Python.
https://hackernoon.com/php-is-dead-...32 -
Hello there, just couple of words about PHP. I've been develop on PHP more than 10 years, I've seen it all 3,4,5,{6},7. Yes PHP was not good in terms of engineering and patterns, but it was simple, it was the most simple language for web to start those days. It was simple as you put code into file, upload it via FTP and it works. No java servlets, no unix consoles, no nothing, just shared hosting account was enough to host site, or even application with database. As database everybody used to have mysql, again because its simple to start and easy to maintain. So PHP+MySQL became industry standard on Web during 00-2012, and continues in some way.
You can write HTML and logic inside single file, within php code, even more single file may content few pages, or even kind of framework. That simplicity and agility sticks everybody who wants to develop sites with PHP.
This is pretty much about why it is so popular.
Each good or wannabe PHP developer in an early days write its own framework or library (like in javascript this days because of nodejs)
Imagine that PHP has hadn't have package manager, developers used to have host packages on their own sites, then various packages catalog sites created, and then finally composer. A gazillions of php code had spread over internet, without any kind of dependency control. To include libraries to your projects you have to just write include, or require. Some developers do it better than others.
So what we have ? A lots of code, no repositories, zip archives with libraries, no dependency control.
Project that uses that kind of code are still alive even today, they are solid hose of cards, and unmaintainable of course.
And main question that I'm trying to answer is Why PHP is not good ?
- First is amount of legacy code which people copy and pasted into their project, spread it even more like a virus.
- Lack of industry standards at the beginning lead to a lots of bad practices among developers. PHP code usually smells.
open source php projects in early days was developed in same conditions so even in phpbb, phpnuke, wordpress, drupal used to have a lot of bad practices in their codebase. So php developers usually not study by another library, instead they write their own frameworks/libraries.
- "It works", - there are no strong business demands, on web development, again because lack of standards, and concerns.
This three things are basically same, they linked to each other and summarize of answer of why PHP have strong smells and everybody yelling against it.
Whats is with PHP nowadays ? Of course PHP today is more influenced by good practice of webdev. Composer, Zend, Laravel, Yii, Symphony and language it self became more adult so to say, but developers...
People who never tried anything except PHP are usually weaker in programming and ecosystem knowledge than people who tried something else, python, perl, ruby, c for instance.
Summary
PHP as any other programming language is a tool. Each tool has its own task. Consider this and your task requirements and PHP can be just good enough solution.
"PHP is shit" - usually you heard that from people who never write strong applications on PHP and haven't used any good tools like Symphony or Laravel.
Cheap developers, - the bigger community, the more chance to hire cheap developers, and more chance to get bad code. That can be applied on any other language.
PHP has professionals developers, usually they have not only php on scope.
That's all folks, this is very brief, I am not covering php usage early days in details, but this is good enough to understand the point.
Enjoy.8 -
Favorite co-worker conversations:
Guy 1: PHP can be plenty fast! Just put in APC, Memcached, and Varnish and you can handle just about any load.
Guy 2: So you're saying PHP is fast when it doesn't run.1 -
The only way to feel comfortable coding on PHP is using classes and methods, I feel like home (Java)
9 -
Me a year ago:
// Pieces together a deadbeat crappy php-script
"Man... PHP is shit"
Me now:
// Gets paid to create controllers for php framework applications
"Man... PHP is THE shit!"4 -
Theres a saying that PHP stands for:
Pubertierende
Hauptschüler
Programmieren
"Pupils in secondary school are programming"1 -
Is php beautiful, or ugly?
Here's my php. The beautiful, and the ugly.
*nervously presses submit*
16 -
Anyone remember when PHP was a straightforward procedural language and not a pseudo-objective mess?
#saturdaynostalgia9 -
Started writing PHP as a tag for a rant and the third suggested tag is "PHP #facepalm". What are people trying to say about PHP? 😝
1 -
Things u truly HATE:
I'll start with mine
- JavaScript
- PHP
- XCode (I like Swift. It looks very much like Kotlin)
- PHP31 -
My friend and I were calling each other programming languages trying to degrade each other based on the cons of a language... Then he called me PHP 😢😢12
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I was talking with a PHP dev. He was also fan of Hellreiser as I am.
We were bored and I sugested to design a “Php superhero” or something like that. He propoused “Php man: Once the page loads, he can’t do anything”. Then, I draw this: A Php cenobite. (Cenobite: Like an interdimentional sado monster)
Yes, the php dev is the same guy of the php thong from my last rant 😂
4 -
Been quite some time since I have last worked with PHP, but it is that time again.
New project, demanded that PHP being used.
*clicks knuckles10 -
Why is there such a big hatred towards PHP ? I have recently started backend dev in Laravel and it seems to be a pretty good framework. Most E-commerce frameworks are based on PHP as well. If PHP is so bad then why is it so widely used ?
I am not trying to defend PHP , but I genuinely want to know what's wrong with it ? I might switch to other backend tech then.12 -
The hell, why'd I write an add-on for a system I don't know as well while I could just implement a PHP version easily!?
Even if it is just to fucking prove that this can easily be done in PHP!5 -
You'll have more pain convincing people that you CAN write a decent app in PHP, than writing one.
#noHatePlz3 -
The sad day has come people... Anyone who knows me; knows that python and PHP are not my favourite of things...
But I've decided to try and work towards getting a Dev position at my current work place... That required PHP and python knowledge
Gonna be honest, better pay but have to use PHP and python or kill myself is a very tough choice...18 -
"Learn PHP! nearly 90% of the web is done in PHP"
That's EXACTLY the reason you DON'T want to work with PHP. Tutorials, SO answers, blogs, every source of info is FULL with bad practices, horrible patters or no patterns, spaghetti code... Most PHP devs are web scripters who have absolutely no background on software engineering whatsoever.
Do yourself a favor, unless you plan to learn Laravel and stick with it, don't, do not, don't'm'st, don't'm'st've go with PHP ... just don't20 -
I gave a chance to PHP using Laravel. My conclusions: Laravel is such a great framework, PHP sintax is hell but its a powerfull language.4
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when I got hired my boss wrote a cms in php that's 50,000 + lines of php code, without a single line of documentation. Yeah can you tell how my first few weeks went?1
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In PHP, this:
<?php
if($a < $b) {
$c = 'W';
} elseif($a > $b) {
$c = 'E';
} else {
$c = ' ';
}
?>
Does the same as this:
<?php
$c = ' WE'[$c<=>$a];
?>
How cool is that?!? xD14 -
Today is was the smoothest PHP session I ever had!
Implemented OTP system for a project in about 2 hrs without any hurldes.
Php is awesome with OOPs!
Now I can get a good Sleep. Goodnight !8 -
In my opinion
php is shit
js is shit
now what we have with babel-preset-php is converting shit to shit. it's a fucking shit storm.
https://gitlab.com/kornelski/...8 -
PHP with Laravel is awesome, best framework ever. I just wish my client is convinced, there is something he doesn't like about PHP9
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OK - Time to settle this for me. What is up with PHP? Everyone seems to detest it, however when I talk about NodeJs or Python, people say that they are inefficient. So is PHP an efficient mess?9
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When you migrate from PHP 5.6 to PHP 7, if you use MongoDB, be careful, the driver is not the same ! So you have to rewrite your implementation !1
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PHP...
When I first learned to code - like everyone - I felt the need to try as many programming languages as possible. After the comforting syntax of myClass.MyProperty/myClass.MyFunction()/C#, the $ symbols everywhere made me want to vomit...
Fast forward 2 years later. I learned a bit and wanted to make a website backend. Checked my hosting - which was purely a frontend thing at the time - free PHP hosting or £15/month for ASP .NET hosting...
I begrudingly wrote my first .php file, hating my life.
But by the end of that night my relationship with PHP was already cemented.
And that's why I like PHP.4 -
Serious question: why all the hate on PHP?
I've been using it as my main language, and genuinely like it. Tried Java but find that to be typing a fuckload to get the same task done. Javascript is nice, but still, i prefer PHP (probably mostly because i know it).
Just really curious, what have i been missing?14 -
The reason why I don't trust php:
var_dump(0 == "0deadbeef1");
var_dump(7 == "7deadlysins");
(both return true)3 -
I really like to use PHP. It's not so interesting language as C# is, but I like it. But every now and them I read someone complaining about PHP.
So let's go: as PHP is not an exactly good language to backend, what would be a good one to use with my personal projects?
Thanks!17 -
Workarounds are great. I remember one time, I had a server that let anyone access any file as long as the knew the right path. I wanted to store data in a .txt (it wasnt secure passwords or anything, so calmyourtities), but then had access too it. Now, this server wasn't running anything except PHP, so I created a database.php, and within was just some php tags. I ended up modifying the database.php from other PHP scripts and storing all the data as PHP comment, then parsing thru it as I needed, so loading mydomain.biz/database.php wouldn't show the data. ex of my database.php (to all that might not understand because I'm bad at explaining):
<?php
//USER1:DATA1
//USER2:DATA2
?>2 -
I don't know why some people hate PHP, I mean maybe there are some stuff that may annoy you but personally I think it's cool language.5
-
My current project: PHP microframework that makes building REST API kinda 'easy'
But I've read some articles online that building APIs using PHP is a really bad idea. I guess I just wasted my time. Lol. I hate myself.
6 -
When your internship boss orders you to work on a PHP project. And you see that the original maker of code has repeated things a million times
2 -
2 years ago I told myself I'd never learn PHP. 2 years later I'm a desperate college student in a town where the only web dev companies rely on PHP. I didn't want to cave and learn such an obsolete language but it's looking like I have no choice. Goodbye, innocence :'(13
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I wouldn't mind PHP that much if HTML templates with it weren't such verbose and borderline illegible nightmares 😢😢😢2
-
Overheard PHP developer say: "I don't like Node.js, it should be more like PHP where everything is async."3
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TFW you learn that trim(null) equals empty string in PHP.
I´m starting to understand why people seem to dislike PHP.6 -
https://youtube.com/watch/...
I didn't know PHP was created as a "template language" and Rasmus Lerdorf(PHP's creator) himself rejected PHP to be a "business logic language" at first. But PHP 7 Freaking rules!4 -
I spent hours trying to figure out why imagettftext() in PHP wasn't working...
Damn file permissions!!
3 -
Instructor: "and now here we can write this while loop in ph- oh wait. Let me just show you a cool trick. I am gonna close this php tag with ?> , open an html tag , then again open this php tag , add this line, close it, then again close html tag, then again open php, and then close it. pretty crazy huh? You see, now we can have our cool bootstrap displaying this output beautifully"
Me : FUCK YOU MAN :|
for reference, this was the final output :
============================
<?php
while($row = mysqli_fetch_assoc($result_successful)){
?>
<pre> <?php print_r($row); ?> </pre>
<?php
}
============================
I am a newbie in web dev who comes from a very nice java/kotlin world. is this a common site in web dev, mixing of all the html/php/some 1000 more laguages and frameworks to make 1 working product? coz it sucks.11 -
so what's on the list for today? writing unit tests for a broken php app because NO ONE THOUGHT TO WRITE THEM BEFORE HAND.......
-
Need to do some PHP for my class next week, problem is I hate PHP so I just distracted myself and wrote a bunch of Ruby code today...4
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Today I've landed on a legacy project which still uses mail() method in PHP. Just gonna enjoy this one.5
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How to run PHP in a container :
1. Begin a docker file for an existing php cron app (when all you know is php, everything looks like a php app)
2. Set the FROM.. Apt get update .. Do composer install
3. Builds the image
4. Discover I need git
5. Add git to apt get install step
6. Builds the image
7. Launch the php script
8. Fatal : use of undefined constant SOL_UDP
9. Opens the source code of the third party. The there's no mention of where that constant is from.
10. Spend many minutes online to find what's missing.
11. Find the PHP sockets page about that option. Digs into the documentation to find out that's missing from the installed PHP.
12. Find out I need to add a step to install the socket extension in my docker file.
13. Build the image again
14. Execute it, finally it works
15. Remember why I hate php
(for brevity I've omitted the even more complex part of having to set up zlib)
How to install node js in a container image:
FROM node:8
ADD package.json
RUN npm install7 -
Today I discovered first thing I personally prefer in JS over PHP.
let's say you have:
//pseudocode
if(sth){
let ret = 1;
} else {
let ret = 2;
}
if(sth_else){
return ret.toPrecision(2);
}
return ret.toPrecision(8);
In PHP this will work. JS will throw up becouse it managed to separate scopes. Its actually what I would like to be the case with PHP.22 -
Friend asked me this:
"So if PHP is that bad, why there are still so many job offers for PHP devs?"10 -
I was having a really bad day today until I saw PHP PornHub Programmers on my commute home Really made my day. Credits Reddit2
-
<?php
$currentTime = getCurrentTime();
$asleep = getSleepStatus(); // true
$getUpTime = "9:30am";
while($asleep && ($currentTime >= $getUpTime)){
?>
<p>You're late!! Its <?php echo $currentTime ?>!</p>
<?php
updateStatus();
}
?>2 -
it was the last time i used PHP for an school project. i and an other group decided to make an website. it was luck that no input was required. Because i already knew PHP and HTML i need to help them. the code they made was the cause i quit php. the site only worked after an redirect. it was irony that tje code looked like it was written from a junkey and the theme was drugs.7
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Anyone here have any experience with PHP? I've never really used it myself and don't really want to, but I do look at things like http://phpsadness.com/ from time to time.
These complaints range from "fairly minor" (some stuff like function names/args and some syntsx complaints) to "how is this language even used" (segfaults in a scripting language, broken things like "create_function", comparisons and ternanry operator).
Of course, i don't program in PHP so i don't know how bad any of this actually is.
Anyone actually use PHP or did use it previously?19 -
The sacred mystery of web application development is in front of me: php is a script or programming language.
With php 7 option opcache.file_cache i can see the php bytecode.
It is like admiring the holy spirit.
Sometimes I have the feeling of programming J (ava) HP.
2 -
Nobody can stop me from deploying an incompletely tested PHP website. If something doesn't work, blame PHP because this abomination shouldn't allow to run shitty code anyway.2
-
These god damn idiots!11!!
Why, for duck sake, php-fpm and xdebug are using the same standard port 9000?
There are thousands of different ducking ports you could choose from!
So each developer who wants to debug his php app served by php-fpm, has to adjust the port for xdebug on something like 9001 or 10000.
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy!?!??
: /4 -
For those who f**k with PHP language, this is a required reading article from Slack about their decision to develop on PHP
(I guess that you guys could copy/paste this URL)
https://slack.engineering/taking-ph...2 -
when did you follow PHP developers last used PHP without a framework or at least used PHP itself for the most part?
a foreach and if don't count .. obviously 😁7 -
why does preg_split work on my local copy but not on production? WHY DOES IT RETURN LITERALLY NOTHING? IS PHP JUST HELL? AAAAAAAAA9
-
PHP would say:
I am easy to get, expensive to maintain, frustrating to live with, and impossible to get rid off.6 -
These one is about recruiters.
I'm a Zend Php 5.3 Certified Engineer and have it listed on my linkedin profile and also being a php developer for the last 6 years.
Got this recruiter on the phone.
Recruiter: Hi, i saw your profile on linkedin and think you're great fit for a position i have available. Do you have any experience in PHP?
Me: Hangup the phone.1 -
When we have Python,Ruby,Elixir,Scala,Clojure,Js
why we should use PHP LARAVEL ?
i cant understand persons which use php & laravel
why u use php or laravel ? how its possible to use php-laravel instead of cool things like Django -ROR ? Are u crazy ?13 -
Having my finals tomorrow, how can I learn PHP today when I really don't wanna because I hate PHP so far?9
-
I have being working on a project with server side using PHP. My dev environment is XAMPP on Debian. PHP is 7.3.10. So.... no MCrypt. Documents said that a new kid called Sodium is in town but php said he doesn’t know this guy...
I have no encryption library...14 -
I'm not trying to say that PHP is not consistent, but it's the only language where you can use two styles of typage in a function definition:
function myFunc(ArgType $arg) : ReturnType
{
//...
return new ReturnType($arg);
}
You must decide, PHP... Not use both... -
I've been off the PHP game for a good bit now so I'm not sure if this is an established practice.
But why in the flying fuck would someone want to use .htm in place of .php files? Especially when you already use .php on other files on the same codebase?!7 -
A very good talk about php from the creator of php. I like it how he self never thought that php will grow that big. He always thought that php has 6 months left before a better Technologie comes that replace php completle.
https://youtu.be/wCZ5TJCBWMg3 -
Let's say you're pretty good frontend dev, a bet geeky about strong typing. And you're paired with an API backend, and it's PHP. You would think it's pain when it's bad PHP. No, real pain is when it's good PHP, and backend dev embraces and uses dynamic nature of the language to an extreme.3
-
The absence of backward compatibility in php updates should be illegal and the developers responsible for that should be trampled by an elephant with the PHP logo painted on its side.12
-
php being php...
Complaining about "header already sent". I wonder why.
Solution: no permission to chmod the file system, thus printing an error to the output. That error provokes freezing the header, thus the header cannot be written anymore...
*cheers*2 -
Question..
Is it safe to stay with PHP or do you think js (in backend) is the future?
Php (laravel,..)
Js ( Angular, react,..)14 -
So i was trying to learn php from a udemy course. The guy there mixes a hell lot of php with html, like all the pages are .php with html content and mini <?php ... ?> Scripts in between everywhere: titles, swl queries running and displaying outputs as html with echo php variables, etc..
Now am not much versed with client server data model, but isn't there supposed to be clear distinction between the server side and the client side? He puts a form there using echo "html string" , rrcieves the form input in the string's action , runs an sql query and generates another set of html strings. All in one file.
Is it how major php websites work? On the other hand My web dev friend om who works a lot with js usually runs 2 seperate aws instances for frontend and backend and makes them communicate via apis9 -
PHP 7.4
Anonymous functions in PHP can be quite verbose, even when they only perform a simple operation. Partly this is due to a large amount of syntactic boilerplate, and party due to the need to manually import used variables. This makes code using simple closures hard to read and understand.
https://wiki.php.net/rfc/...
7 -
In php echo is language construct.
In php echo is language construct.
In php echo is language construct.
In php echo is language construct.
In php echo is language construct.
3 -
Suggestions for a book (if possible german) about php design patterns like mvc, singletons, dependency injections etc.?
If explained good it can also be in another language instead of php. -
Are you tired of hearing about the latest and greatest programming languages that are all the rage? Well, fear not! PHP is here to remind you that sometimes the oldies are still goodies. This trusty, tried-and-true language has been around for over 25 years and shows no signs of slowing down. In this post, we'll explore the enduring popularity of PHP and why it's still a top choice for web development projects in 2021 (and beyond!)
Full Detail : https://programmerscreatelife.com/p...
6 -
Hey do you guys know any good PHP open source project, through which I could learn something.....please don't suggest big projects13
-
<?php
die(eval("printf('Is PHP bad for your mental health and should you choose something simpler? %s',2000 == '2e3bf55c7e4dd7ef7bc5b1bf05fcf786' ? 'true' : 'false');"));
2 -
What is the best resource for PHP as a backend, and not a SSR web apps.(no frameworks included just pure php)7
-
Hi guys
Can we still install and use php 5.2 or php 5.3?
Got an old website that needs rescue
Coz of the depricated mysql functions
Much appreciated
Cheers5 -
I really need help with a little php problem. Would be great if someone with php skills could help me :)
I am trying to implemt an API in a php script that uploads files directly to google drive, but i dont know the Location where the API has to go.3 -
The only reason the barbaric, Apache server requiring, disgusting non-intuitive syntax having, pain in the dick to set up language known as "php" is even still around AT ALL is because of laravel...just let it die already...
P.s. - work is making me learn laravel/php15 -
Looking for advice here.
Is it wise to use nginx instead of Apache if running php (in regards to the LAMP stack)? And can php be kept strictly in the backend? I've never used php before and now I get the chance (yippie) so I want to hear what you guys have to say. Previously I've used node. And also, can frontend libraries like react or vue be used alongside php or is it just going to turn into a smorgasbord of nonsense.
Thank you for any advice :)5 -
When you make PHP assignments a year ago and a year later the teacher wants to check them...
PHP update broke everything :/4 -
should I learn php frameworks or should I move to new technology like angularjs?
p.s: I've 2 years experience in php3 -
// doesn't work.
/* nope */
<?php /* uhhh */ ?>
Only devil decided that we have to speak PHP on nearly all our comments. -
I recently went from being a java/python web developer to a PHP firmware developer. I've never written in PHP before and I keep typing $("# when I go to type a variable reference. jQuery has made this transition annoying to say the least =P1
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