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UPDATE: I have my dream job.
About a year ago I commented on Devrant that I was having some hard luck interviewing for development jobs.
Shortly after my post I decided to lower my expectations and took a job at a tech support call center.(3 month contract)
After getting a little experience(Not just a degree) I was able to land a hardware support job at a fortune 500 company.(Not what a programmer really wants 😂)
I worked hard and started writing tools at home to help with the job. I started giving them out to the other techs and put them on a little internal website for easy access.
About 3 months ago I just became a software engineer within the company.(after 6 months of hardware repair.) The main reason I got the job was because I showed them how much overtime and extra work I had done and that the techs relied on my software to do there jobs and that I was dependable.
It was hard work but it was worth it. And I built software that I never would have done if I hadn't taken this "lower job"
So keep your chin up and your fingers on the keys, I was in your shoes a year ago. 😉12 -
It seem uncommen because of all the 'hate my job rants' but
I love my current dev job and that makes it for me ideal 😄2 -
I'm a simple man, I want to:
- get along with everybody
- be able to depend on my coworkers
- use whatever editor I want
- have vcs (preferably git)
- listen to music while coding
- work with people who share my hobbies (optional)7 -
I'm currently freelancing abroad.
I don't get the UK Salley but I don't pay the UK prices.
I get to travel, see the world and support myself.
Much more valuable then any high end wage to me.
Freedom.
12 -
Well, basically
• Coworkers that know their shit
• A boss that once coded/still codes
• A management that consists of people that coded/code
• A pay that's good enough for me to afford more than just a place to live, food and water.4 -
My job is pretty close to ideal.
-manager is technical/proficient
-hardly any meetings
-I'm trusted to design solutions to problems
-I'm trusted to implement those solutions
-Discretionary time off
-Decent pay
-We make cool technology7 -
Customer care guys are stupid
Me : yeah, OS crashed. It keeps getting into bios setup saying there's no hard drive detected on this system and no recovery file found as well, what do ?
Him : "well sir, your OS has been corrupted and now you have to buy new licensed one, if you can just give me your location I can help you locate out nearest service centre which will help you install a new licensed instantly"
Me : *WHAT THE ACTUAL TRIPLE FUCK* atleast try to understand the problem first.
Him : No need sir, I already come across this problem and now you have to pay, as I was saying *beep*
*I smashed the phone*
After that I fixed it myself
These low level shit licking faggots need to get themselves fucked in the ass by horses and then apply the same conversation when the intercourse begins with the horse.
Also, if I could be placed in the same customer care cell, I would do better.
So wk62 too I guess3 -
Free breakfast before work starts
Overtime if working on weekend
Decent coffee
Quick meetings
New and fun challenges for every new project3 -
Got the ideal job right now. Over market salary. 100% remote. Mornings to myself until the rest of the team in another time zone comes online. Working within my competency with just enough challenge to make it interesting. Free products for being an employee. Only wish it came with paid health insurance but I do get a partial reimbursement.2
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My ideal dev job...working for a charity that creates free tech solutions for primary schools and children to promote safety and learning. One app I have in mind is a resource for victims of bullying, and another is an integrated Virtual Learning Environment that truly provides pupils and teachers with the tools they need and want.
Basically I want to make a positive impact on the lives of children and make that available to everyone, not just the schools who can afford it.3 -
I really like my current job.
I work as an analyst developer looking after and sorting out people's old tech debt.
Once that's stable I get pretty free reign to do what I want.
It allows me to stretch from dev into graphic design, security, architecture and training on a very regular basis.
It allows me to keep an eye on tech trends, research and develop ideas using the latest shiny things.
Oh and if I say I need a thing, I can usually get it purchased.
All of the above comes with the "as long as it's for the benefit of the company" disclaimer, but when your direct managers see an IDE and think "okay he's working" the lines get a little blurry.
They keep asking me about my career goals and if I want to manage or move around. Fuck that noise, all of that noise.
Do wut I wawnt.6 -
Despite some of the few bat crazy events that occur, I've got a fairly sweet dev job.
1. I only have a 25 minute drive to work. All interstate, I live close to the highway, and the business is right off the exit.
2. My current position, I have a lot of autonomy. My projects don't have deadlines and help other teams with their projects (system design, testing, etc)
3. I work with several military veterans. I think I could listen to their crazy stories all day (being a dev isn't so bad).
4. Department manager just quit. Probably going to have less and less things to rant about. Along with #2, I plan on having a lot more time for side-projects (stuff *I* want to learn about).3 -
Ideal job?
The one that give me a roof over my head.
And pays my bills.
And bring food on the table.
And give me a lot of free time for my hobbies.
And avoids me to discuss with stupid clients.
Ok, maybe the last one is a bit unrealistic..1 -
Unpopular opinion:
I currently work remotely, but as it's my first job I would love to work locally with other devs in a room... Motivating can be quite hard sometimes when you're alone.
(And I know this attitude will probably change once I worked locally some time)3 -
I guess I've just got the ideal dev job. Working from home, with nice people in my team and enough time to deliver quality work.8
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Tbh my current job is as close to perfect as I can imagine ever existing. The best and smartest engineers I've ever met (better than Google, better than anywhere), all working on something we think is really really important (autonomous cars), and solving hard problems every day (some of which no one else has ever solved before).
Only downside is an internal sense that when I'm not working I'm delaying a product that will save people's lives.4 -
My ideal job is one in which the client does not ask for any kind of change when you already have 99.9% done.2
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A great corporate culture, pleasant coworkers, a caring manager, meaningful work, and a good salary. Hmmm. Thank you for reminding me that I have a pretty close to ideal Dev job. I can live with what's missing. 🤠
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!(!StrangeRant)
I want to have a program that makes programs.
----CONSOLE------------------------
$ sudo makep
(makep = make program)
$ makep > destroy the world and make that me and i are the only survivor
$ makep > select language > TrumpLang
$ makep > Please wait...
$ makep > Compiling...
Estimated time to finish: 1 million years later
(i died)
$ makep > .........
$ makep > Building...
Estimated time to finish: 1 million years later
$ makep > .........
(ok, so i wont wait 1 million years here, so lets say 1 million years passed)
$ makep > Running...
Estimated time to finish: 1 million years later
$ makep > .........
(ok, so i wont wait 1 million years here, so lets say 1 million years passed)
$ makep > Destroying...
$ makep > Finished!
$ makep > Press CTRL+F to shut down.
-----------------------------------
Earth stopped.
This computer is the only survivor.
While he was compiling, he got artificial intelligence.
He tried to survive.
Now the story begins.
The life of a computer.
Alone.
In theaters at 2018/04/01.
Buy tickets now!
IMDB / RT rated this movie 10/10
-----------
Footnotes
This movie is containing parental advisory content.
(This is sponsored by the awesome people at Turbo C and IBM)9 -
- A boss that's not 100% incompetent to computers and technology in general.
-Decent pay
-Coworkers who aren't jackasses
-Doesn't feel like a job
-Nice break room
-Option to leave early and work from home -
Quiet working environment (aside from hearing a joke from time to time)
Fast computer, lots of screens, keyboard and mouse of my choice
Good product owner that doesn't accept bullshit request into the sprint
No legacy crap5 -
🤖 working with people that actually wanna work. And when they don't want to, just take the day off. 7 days pretentious work == 2 days actual work5
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Ideal dev job would be teaching kids code. Probably a side-gig at a local school.
Main gig would be writing code to exploit the "push to prod" Internet of Things things. Security on that is garbage. 🚮5 -
Uhhh I'm interested in computers and stuff as a hobby, but to be completely honest, I want to be an oncologist.3
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My ideal job (which very fortunately my current one), is best described by Troy from Community is, "a job that looks from a distance like I do nothing", (or at least that's what my parents think I do -- nothing).1
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My ideal job is something that I don't consider a job. I would enjoy to be a freelancer and work on my side projects every once in a while.2
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My job. Working in a small IT department. Web programming most of the day and being able to help people with their phones, software, internet connection, and so on...
The only thing I sometimes wished for were some other devs in my company that would understand me and my problems and with whom I could discuss new technologies.
But now I got devrant. I'll be fine from now on.1 -
In a company where a developer isn't rushed and forced to hack around problems just to meet the deadline.1
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There are days where I just want to develop a plot of land in some forest/mountain rich area into a little farm, maybe with some silly animals like emus and alpacas.
Development is not always as stress free as I'd like it to be.
If I'd had to pick a way to spend my days and money was no issue, I'd probably only contribute to open source, and invest more time into a few projects of my own.
No boss, no sales department, no deadlines, zero pressure. Just solving the puzzles my brain wants to lock on to that day.1 -
I want to launch my own think tank and employ some the great devs I've worked with over the years.
No clients or stakeholders. Just us, building and releasing stuff. -
Sitting in a mountain cabin with a maverlous view over the surrounding area. A mountain lake is near the cabin and the mountains are raising around it. A blend of a lot of colors. Coding on some interesting project with some nice people. Just enjoying life. Being able to take a hike or run in the nature to be inspired to do some more coding.1
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...a project with well defined requirements that doesn't change shape every day making useless any attempt to define a solid code structure...my dear client I can do all you want but you can't change your ideas every 10 minutes
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1billiontrillionshigilimillion$/day
Free food & drinks.
Nice office
Supermega computer with a 10009186372891293 GPUs and shit, 6 screens
Working on cutting edge technologies with world class experts.6 -
My dream is, that I could make a living from developing my opensource libraries. And some Companies pay me to develop some features for them.2
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Firstly, my main wish is to work in the office. I don't like remote stuff and all that. I would like to have a job where you have to go every day except weekend at a certain time and be there for example 7 hours. I would love to have a good who will tell me what to do, I like to listen to people. I would also want to have a secretary, Im not organized. I would like to do either .NET development, Web Development or 3D modeling. If im working .NET, I would like to work in Microsoft. If Im working Web, I would like to work anywhere, with an office, of course. I don't know, I just love the feeling offices give me and the atmosphere in them. And if im working 3D modeling, I would like to work in Bethesda. Oblivion played a big role in my childhood. I don't care for salary, it doesn't have to be anything big, just enough for bills and my children (which I hope ill have).
There, dream of a 15 yo4 -
Broadly speaking (what I need my ideal life to be):
*Books
*PC/Internet
*Yoga
*Family and friends
*Nature
*Helping FOSS community
*Sufficient money to survive
*..and an unachievable life purpose2 -
My ideal dev job, would be a job I can show compassion towards. A team I can be proud of and learn from. And a vibrant workspace with likeminded individuals who just want to improve themselves even if they feel their at their pinnacle.
My current office tries to make use of new technologies, we've embedded docker, vagrant, a few ci systems on an in need basis per team, and a lot of other tools.
My only real qualms are they feel indifferent towards new languages and eco systems ( Node.js, GoLang, etc ). Our web team is still using angular.js 1.x, bower, refuses to look into webpack or a new framework for our front end which is currently being bogged down by angulars dirty checking.
Our automated quality assurance team is forced to use Python for end to end testing, I've written an extensive package to make their lives easier including an entire JavaScript interface for dispatching events and properly interacting with custom DOMs outside of the scope of the official selenium bindings.
Our RESTful services are all using flask and Python, which become increasingly slow with our increase in services. I've pushed for the use of Node or GoLang with a GraphQL interface but I'm shot down consistently by our principle engineers who believe everything and anything must be written in Python.
I could go on, but tldr; I'm 21 and I have a ton of aspirations for web development. I'd like to believe I'm well rounded for my age, especially without any formal education. I'd love to be surrounded by individuals who want the same, to learn and architect the greatest platforms and services possible.1 -
Ideal job
I do creative projects whatever I want with no deadlines or pressure, everyone loves whatever I make except me because I know I can do better than that last crap I made, getting paid plenty of money to pay off all my family and friends debt and have plenty left over. Specifically making fun programs useful software or web apps and have plenty of free time for taking retreats and going out into nature away from computers and technology.1 -
To have a professional job that lets you work remotely from the comfort of your home in your own office; which pays you well enough but doesn't pressurize you into unachievable deadlines. One that gives you ample time to relax and do some part-time projects for yourself. One that lets you spend time and contribute to the communities you're part of and help you grow both professionally and within the community.
Oh, and best of all, work in the open - open source, open culture and transparency. -
Work on projects that produce something that solves one of my existing problems.
Also dev environment matters. One of those hackers desk setups would be fine. Nothing too fancy, just need a functional one. -
To work in a music/rhythm games company (preferably indie), or one that produces stuff related to music.
I would like to lead a company like that! 😍
One can dream... -
Client with little bit of sense, issues in emails only through technical support, not a knock on my door while I code. Repeat2
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The bigger the number of people smarter than me defines how much I like the company.
More is better.3 -
One that understands one's need for distraction-free work area in exchange for producing quality. Also, encourages research, uptraining, and learning.
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50% position (95 hours a month)
100% of my current compensation (~90k$)
In a company like the one I work in now: great team and great tech drive.
Rest of the time is for hobbies and family.2 -
My ideal dev job is a job that requires to think about reality in a different way, a job that requires both programming skills and an open mind.
P.S. I should also earn enough money to buy a Tesla haha1 -
Ideally, there would be 3 engineers and 2 sales people. The engineers would pair with the sales folks on calls to figure out what customers need and hire designers to design just want needs to be built. Everyone would be responsible, not over commit, not oversell, and figure out creative ways to make the company money and achieve technological superiority.
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I have an internship at some research company. My point is making face recognition apps with prog lang I know. This place is awesome. Well, compsci it's not my background, but I met many people. And they are great at math ....
.....
... Like they do 29 gray-scale images as a vector for PCA algorithm with size 64x64 pixel and COUNT A COVARIANCE MATRIXES WITHOUT TOUCHING ANY CALCULATOR OR PEN AND PAPER AND GET THE RIGHT NUMBER!
Man, this is insane. I don't even know 64x64. I love compsci1 -
I'd love to work for NASA or Space X and be one of the first to colonize mars. Should that not work out, I also really want to work for Google and do some freelance work on the side maybe. And all of that is only true if by then I haven't created the next big tech thing.
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Ideal dev job would be to work on pretty/girly fashion or cosmetics websites, have drama free and knowledgeable co-workers, decent salary, great organization, external training opportunities, cute modern office, dogs, cats and a cafe on site, a dope recharge room & no talking to clients ever.4
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Semi-remote job, sometime i need to meet people to make sure im not work with bot. Want to remote job because i wany to avoid crazy traffic jam, flood, ugly road and crazy driver every day. But still got full of payment like other who have fulltime on office.6
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I right now work as a Remote Front end dev and I must admit is pretty sweet and flexible, however, I think my ideal job would be in a foreign country (Japan, Malaysia, Singapore, Hong Kong) with the same remote flexibility but with a Visa sponsorship, Working on modern web projects, progressive web apps etc. learning from others and improving my code. please let me know of any opportunity haha.1
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A place where you can evolve your skills, competitive and that you're respected.
And NO FREAKING CLUELESS PROJECT MANAGERS that do not understand how software is "born" and expect you to catch insane deadlines... -
I could work from home sometimes, the coworkers would be cool but focused, new tech would be encouraged and pms would defend devs against crappy clients, oh and no windows allowed, yeah I dont like sunlight (like linus house)
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Whatever, as long as it has 0 dependency to mainframe 💩 directly or not
Fuck mainframe up it's dusty ass -
Working on cool emerging technologies such as VR, AI or robotics. Or all of them combined. International environment with developers from all over the world. I find myself working at different locations, yet I'd spend all weekends and holidays at home. 6 K €/month + all travel and lodging expenses paid. Plus a culture that encourages innovation and, of course, ranting! :D5
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I kind of have my ideal dev job right now.
It's interesting and diversified work, I have the possibility to experiment and to learn and I have some great colleagues. Well, most of the time. :D
What I miss right now is a higher flexibility of work hours and workplace e.g. home office due to changes in my life. Also, I don't earn that much, but since it's not a full-time job that's OK, also I still can make a living. -
Making magic machine learning stuff. Also t-shirts and shorts should be allowed. And free food. Uh what else... My own office1
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Working with technologies that excite me, which at the moment would be functional programming, CQRS, Event Sourcing, and the actor model, with a side of machine learning and serverless architectures. At a company that is large enough to pay well and grow in, but small enough that my contributions are recognized and appreciated. Or even better, one that I own and run.
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Probably working for a scientific research firm and building in house tools for collection and analysis of data...
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Being useful with what you do.
Do what you enjoy (rolling tables?).
Work somewhere, where the company cares about you. -
Having co-workers that understand to not sacrifice quality over shipping features as fast as possible.
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* Good salary
* Interesting work (ML in my case)
* Respects employees
* Startup culture
* Somewhere I can make a difference
* Doing something worthwhile (green energy/healthcare/etc)
* Freedom to try and fail4 -
Ideal dev job?
Getting a kick out of building something from scratch that gets used and loved by thousands of people.
But then you asked for ideal, not realistic, right? -
1. A work environment that has a high level of trust.
2. I feel like I have to mention project aristotle of Google...
3. Psychological safety (( from project aristotle ))
4. Result oriented work environment
5. Just love tbh... a working environment that is a soft place to land -
One where I get to code what I want to code at my own pace as opposed to wedging things in yesterday and fixing bugs for clients that don't even appreciate it.
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Made a rant about working with shitty legacy code and still doing that. So making something new would be nice.
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- Dealing only with your own code
- Having enough time to improve and refactor your code whenever you want
- Bug reports are detailed af and not just like "doesn't work"
- Choosing the IDE (and OS maybe, too) by yourself
- Having enough time for bugfixes, implementations
- Software is ready, when you want it, not anyone else.
- Visiting trainings or seminars to improve your skills whenever you want
Yeah, that would be pretty awesome.3 -
No wordpress websites. I get it they are nice to have for the butcher on the corner, but it's such a boring job.
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- Remote working as necessary
- Working in a laptop (ideal but not necessary)
- developing and designing from scratch and few maintenance
- pleasant offices
- getting involved in new techs once in a while
- engaging industry. Telecom / medical / automotion would be nice2 -
A gradual learning environment with a competitive environment . A place with a correct amount of air conditioning ( not like a freaking fridge ) . Coding the algorithm and stuff for games .
Last but not the least .. A large monitor but not too large ... -
My dream was to have collegues that teaches me different approach on developing and will never be selfish, and now i have that! teamwork at its best! sometimes we have discussions when our logic doesn't match and in the end, we'll come up on better ideas.. :)
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A job where soft skills are appreciated and nurtured. I can't stand how every company I've every worked or interview me expects a certain level, but never puts any investment in my growth.
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My dream job, apart from everything that's been mentioned already, is working every other month or so: one month working (not too hard of course), one month off. I'd spend that either travelling or hobbying.
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Non-existant company hierarchy, great brainstorming and constantly getting new ideas, helpful people, and last but not least, great coffee.
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Where why opinions and thoughts are considered and not just dismissed. Truly sucks not being able to have any input on what your working on
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I'd like to work for a small software house that pays decent, understands a life/work balance (40hr/wk), has a relaxed environment, worries more about the end product than timelines, and gives you Fridays to work on pet projects and training.
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If they could pay me to:
Play video games - Counter Strike
Read good books
Play games such as table tennis, pool
High salary
Extra perks
Free food
Remote work allowed
Sponsored vacations
And may be, once a while I code something interesting, where they help me out in everything I need...
And that would be my ideal job :P -
Time flexibility, free food, remote job, a great place to learn new stuff and a great environment to work with no shitty developers.
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> every job or mission GET.
> customers paying on time and getting the fair rate you ask without negociating.
> always possible to work remote.
> customers that are not asshole company's of the world.
> social business network expanding
> making enough money to take on some courses and certifications from time to time.
These all seem so distant now. -
Something that provides for my SO and I, pushes me to learn more, has realistic deadlines, and uses modern technologies with good standards.
Plus, the standards use tabs, not spaces 😜2 -
I just like bulding silly things, my ideal devjob would be one where I could just make random junk that makes me smile all day...
Like recently I made an NoSQL database using azure AD. They give you 50000 AD objects free, but I found you could encode all sorts of data in the AD objects variables. So basically I setup a framework that uses Security groups as Collections, AD objects as Documents, and object variables as key pairs.
It's really slow, like roughly 50 queries a minute, but hey. It was fun proving it could be done...
Yeah, that would be my ideal devjob :P that kind of stuff all day2 -
Having my own office, or working from home, and having the ability to learn new technologies on the clock. Also have my ideas being heard.
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Something truly useful, where I get to know the users or even be one of them. Something challenging but not beyond my reach.
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Management that understands and respects the true virus like nature of technical debt. Considers the implications of bolting on more features. Gives me a place at the table in decision making regarding these matters.
Don't settle for any less. -
Maybe to have my creative team for web and videogames with a lot animations :D
Maybe.... One day.... :S -
Dev job? I always thought finding out the most ideal way on how to structure an ui for i.e. Blind or disabled people to tell devs how it must look like and how random people would expect ui functions to be placed is a thing which could help.
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