True story

Going to long trying to figure it out myself before asking for help.

1984
Age 9
Commodore 64
Taught myself BASIC

This is not wrong. 🤣

True story

My home office setup

Web form request.

Client: Can we have an Excel workbook with a form? Download it. Fill it out? Then upload the workbook.

This was his suggestion. The workbook would be potentially updated by over 5000 users.

WTH!!!!!!

First broken rule - Publish on Friday

Second broken rule - Delete without backing up

Major screw up - Main folder deleted containing several sites

Major problem - Cannot find anyone on the server team for backups

Building my own products at my own startup.

Rexx scripting language as a junior programmer at a financial company. It was used to massage data scraped from multiple data sources. There scripts that were calling other scripts to the tune of 6 and 7 scripts deep. It was a horrible scriptception.

I remember reading shampoo directions as a kid and it feeling wrong to exit the cycle.

1. wet hair
2. apply shampoo
3. lather
4. repeat

I didn't choose development life, it chose me

shipping recursion

Attack problems you've never solved.

Don't fear projects which you're not familiar with the technology.

Read books, blogs, and code.

Refactor every opportunity you have.

Don't always be the smartest developer in the room.

Be flexible. Tools are tools, don't fall in love with any one till and neglect others.

http://tinyurl.com/jxe4s9t

http://tinyurl.com/gmonzvy

My setup at work

Got my first computer, Commodore 64, when I was 9. My first thought and only agenda, how can I make this thing do what I want it to do. I believe there was a book that came with it that had programs in BASIC. I copied some and then began to fiddle around on my own. I fell in love and 32 years later, the saga continues.

http://www.tecmint.com/

These just came. Thanks devrant

!rant

Boss: I need to talk to you.
Me: Something wrong?
Boss: No, just need to talk.
(Not sure what to think)

Meet with boss, first thing he does is shake my hand and proceeds to tell me thank you for all the work you or in on the last project. On tomorrow in addition to your paycheck $1K after taxes will be deposited into your account.

#feeling very appreciated

bladder: I got to pee.
me: NO! To deep in code zone.

[20 mins pass]
bladder: I got to pee.
me: NO! Let me finish this.

[30 mins pass]
bladder: I'VE GOT TO PEE
me: NO! In a zone.

[5 mins pass]
bladder: GO! GO! GO!
me: D**n you bladder.

I hate this game. I lose every time.

Sitting in a board room with about 20 people all who have flown in from different parts of the world to discuss the project plan for a web app with an international user base.

We are discussing a web form with a dynamic layout based upon the users profile. Users enters a ton of information, calculations, are made, and info in stored into a db. Info can be updated and will be reported upon later.

One of the project leads representing Europe suggest that the form be exported into Excel so that the user can fill it out in Excel only to be imported via the application. WTH!!!! Later I found out this was that leads 2nd week with the company. Why were you even at the meeting and why did you have input?

recursion?

<person>: What do you do?
<me>: I'm a developer.
<person>: What?
<me>: A computer programmer.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I work with computers.
<person>: Ohhh. You work with computers! There is something wrong with mine, will you look at it for me?
<me>: I don't do hardware.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I don't fix computers.
<person>: What?
<me>: **walks away**

a first time project owner sets up weekly requirements meetings for a new project. everyone has input, but the project owner. 4 months into building the application to the requirements gathered, the project owner says, that's not at all what I want. 4 months wasted