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Dear Misinformed idiots,
Just because you watched Silicon Valley doesn't mean you actually understand how Software Development works.
-We don't sit in front of a screen in an AC room googling funny pictures
-We don't think of new Algorithms by pretending to be jerking.
-We don't "get lucky" with our code, it takes hours of studying and research to come up with a solution which actually works.
-And we definitely can't just "create the *next* Google", THAT is not how it works.
I swear to the God ya'll love and cherish, the next person to approach me to turn their shit idea into "The next big thing", I'll leave everything aside and drive a screwdriver through your neck.
- An Engineer tired of everyone's never ending shit storm.10 -
When I still studied, quite some people found me paranoid.
One of my friends started whispering 'NSA is watching' whenever he walked by me and after a while, whenever any of my friends were near me AND near a camera or whatsoever, they all whispered that same phrase.
Then I thought fuck it and just joined with whispering that. So throughout the whole day everyone would whisper that around me and I just participated 😆9 -
It was fun to watch my entire high school (~1200 people) freak out when I ran "net send * Big brother is watching you..." on what I found to be an insecure computer in my high school's library. Every single computer in the building displayed the pop up message. The town's IT director even showed up to figure out what happened.
I was caught, but they were more happy it wasn't a hacker, and that I discovered that the IT firm the town hired totally botched properly implementing network security, so I was let off the hook.5 -
If Big O notations where emojis. This chart shows you common big-Os with emoji showing how they'll make you feel as your data scales. Source blog.honeybadger.io
7 -
Are you a small fish in a big pond, Or a big fish in a small pond? And which one would you rather be?
Me: :-|34 -
"Big data" and "machine learning" are such big buzz words. Employers be like "we want this! Can you use this?" but they give you shitty, ancient PC's and messy MESSY data. Oh? You want to know why it's taken me five weeks to clean data and run ML algorithms? Have you seen how bad your data is? Are you aware of the lack of standardisation? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE MISSPELLED "information"?!!! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WERE MORE THAN 15 WAYS OF MISSPELLING IT!!! I HAD TO MAKE MY OWN GODDAMN DICTIONARY!!! YOU EVER FELT THE PAIN OF TRAINING A CLASSIFIER FOR 4 DAYS STRAIGHT THEN YOUR GODDAMN DEVICE CRASHES LOSING ALL YOUR TRAINED MODELS?!!
*cries*7 -
You may know about my dumb CTO, if not, read here: https://devrant.io/rants/854361/...
Anyway, the dumbass emailed me this weekend asking “what is big data?”
So I replied: “...it’s when you use a large font in your code...”
He thanked me. I bet he will be at some presentation somewhere and will reference using large fonts in an IDE!!!10 -
From my work -as an IT consultant in one of the big 4- I can now show you my masterpiece
INSIGHTS FROM THE DAILY LIFE OF A FUNCTIONAL ANALIST IN A BIG 4 -I'M NOT A FUNCTIONAL ANALYST BUT THAT'S WHAT THEY DO-
- 10:30, enter the office. By contract you should be there at 9:00 but nobody gives a shit
- First task of the day: prepare the power point for the client. DURATION: 15 minutes to actually make the powerpoint, 45 minutes to search all the possible synonyms of RESILIENCE BIG DATA AGILE INTELLIGENT AUTOMATION MACHINE LEARNING SHIT PISS CUM, 1 hour to actually present the document.
- 12:30: Sniff the powder left by the chalks on the blackboards. Duration: 30 minutes, that's a lot of chalk you need to snort.
13:00, LUNCH TIME. You get back to work not one minute sooner than 15.00
- 15:00, conference with the HR. You need to carefully analyze the quantity and quality of the farts emitted in the office for 2 hours at least
- 17:00 conference call, a project you were assigned to half a day ago has a server down.
The client sent two managers, three senior Java developers, the CEO, 5 employees -they know logs and mails from the last 5 months line by line-, 4 lawyers and a beheading teacher from ISIS.
On your side there are 3 external ucraininans for the maintenance, successors of the 3 (already dead) developers who put the process in place 4 years ago according to God knows which specifications. They don't understand a word of what is being said.
Then there's the assistant of the assistant of a manager from another project that has nothing to do with this one, a feces officer, a sys admin who is going to watch porn for the whole conference call and won't listen a word, two interns to make up a number and look like you're prepared. Current objective: survive. Duration: 2 hours and a half.
- 19:30, snort some more chalk for half an hour, preparing for the mail in which you explain the associate partner how because of the aforementioned conference call we're going to lose a maintenance contract worth 20 grands per month (and a law proceeding worth a number of dollars you can't even read) and you have no idea how could this happen
- 20:00, timesheet! Compile the weekly report, write what you did and how long did it take for each task. You are allowed to compile 8 hours per day, you worked at least 11 but nobody gives a shit. Duration: 30 minutes
- 20:30, update your consultant! Training course, "tasting cum and presenting its organoleptic properties to a client". Bearing with your job: none at all. Duration: 90 minutes, then there's half an hour of evaluating test where you'll copy the answers from a sheet given to you by a colleague who left 6 months ago.
- 22:30, CHANCE CARD! You have a new mail from the HR: you asked for a refund for a 3$ sandwich, but the receipt isn't there and they realized it with a 9 months delay. You need to find that wicked piece of paper. DURATION: 30 minutes. The receipt most likely doesn't even exist anymore and will be taken directly from your next salary.
- 23:00 you receive a message on Teams. It's the intern. It's very late but you're online and have to answer. There's an exception on a process which have been running for 6 years with no problems and nobody ever touches. The intern doesn't know what to do, but you wrote the specifications for the thing, 6 years ago, and everything MUST run tonight. You are not a technician and have no fucking clue about anyhing at all. 30 minutes to make sure it's something on our side and not on the client side, and in all that the intern is as useful as a confetto to wipe your ass. Once you're sure it's something on our side you need to search for the senior dev who received the maintenance of the project, call him and solve the problem.
It turns out a file in a shared folder nobody ever touches was unreachable 'cause one of your libraries left it open during the last run and Excel shown a warning modal while opening it; your project didn't like this last thing one bit. It takes 90 minutes to find the root of the problem, you solve it by rebooting one of your machines. It's 01:00.
You shower, watch yourself on the mirror and search for the line where your forehead ends and your hair starts. It got a little bit back from yesterday; the change can't be seen with the naked eye but you know it's there.
You cry yourself to sleep. Tomorrow is another day, but it's going to be exactly like today.8 -
One of my friend's was watching me code. When I got an error, this is what he said.
"You got a big error, so you must be a bad programmer"6 -
GOT AN A+ FOR MY LAST PROJECT OF HIGH SCHOOL!!! SO FUCKING HAPPY!!!
(by the way, we built a search engine for this project. A pretty big and fast one too)10 -
You've heard it!! To become a Web 3.0 daveluper, you have to do Blockchain programming, and you get additional investor points when you do artificial intelligence, Big Data and IoT 😝
2 -
5" phones are too big.
15" laptops are too big.
Mid tower cases are too big.
Yet the market seems to disagree with me.24 -
!rant
What I really like about all these growing startups/platforms like airbnb, netflix etc, is that they open source their cool technologies so that anybody can use them. If you look through their github repos, you can find a lot of cool and interesting stuff and especially it's mostly already battle tested and it works.
Imo this is some really big contribution in turn to the money they make :)2 -
devRant, got a code challenge for you.
Manager calls at 18:00...
Write an algorithm that gives the optimum result!
I'll go first with my O(1) solution:
Don't answer.
I'd be interested to see whoever can beat the big O of my solution!!!!!
#moreclownwellnessthirstythursdays19 -
TLDR someone in my team took credit for work he didnt do;
I know teamwork is a good thing and when everyone does their share of the work, it is.
I submitted a computer science project to an event in the UK called the Big Bang fair, I was in a group of 3. We had been meeting every week after for the past 10 months. During these sessions me and uke have been meeting for 1h 30m where as oon could only meet for 1h because "he had stuff to do" and he never saw the point in staying longer. Oon had also been a massive distraction whilst the time he was there as he did no work and messed around on cookie clicker.
Anyway we found out last week that the Big Bang fair was coming very soon and we had not written a write up or done any preparation for the presentation we had to do. Me and uke set up a google doc and started adding stuff to it (as we only had a few days left at this point). Whereas oon did nothing.
I ended up staying up till 3am in the morning finalising the write up over the weekend with uke helping. We asked oon to help but he said he didnt want to stay up late so didnt help.
Then the most stressful 2 days come round. I devoted all of my free time towards the project, uke devoted most of his time and oon devoted 1 hour after school on one day. He said that he couldn't do one lunchtime but I found him in the ICT room playing games :/.
This didn't matter THAT much but what pissed me off is that he started boasting to all his friends about all the work I did and credited it as his own. At the actual event he said nothing during the presentation because he knew nothing about the project. HE DIDNT EITHER BOTHER TO READ THE WRITE UP HE WAS BOASTING ABOUT. What do people get out of taking credit for work other people did.
We didn't win anything and I wonder why
wow thanks for reading all this you deserve a sticker
1 -
Hard lesson:
Don’t update your OS while a project is still not finished, or at least on critical state of a project8 -
Thanks so much for the clarification Pikepass....such a big help. Now I know exactly what format my account number should look like and where to find it!
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Warning: Long rant ahead!
So we built an amazing system for managing swarms of drones, and we have flown hundreds of hours, testing, etc.
Comes a client and says, that he wants to buy our system, but he wants to integrate it in a bigger system that is supposed to orchestrate many small systems.
Sounds like a deal.
So they send me on a week course (see previous rant: https://devrant.com/rants/2049071/...) to learn how to integrate our system in theirs.
I was sure that they have some API or something and it should be a breeze. but apparently they give us an SDK that includes all their files, and we have to build and run their entire system, and then build our own API inside of it!
And the reason we needed a week-long course, was to know all the paths where the XML configuration files exist!
So for the last month, I am hacking away inside this huge program, navigating thousands of files in a language I don't know, in order to build an API for their system, so that I can use it on our side.
Yesterday they informed us that a new version is available.
And sure enough, waiting in my inbox this morning was a link to download a new SDK.
No Changelog, No Instructions, Just a zip file with over 25,000 files.
So I phone my contact in their company to ask how exactly I am supposed to update their files, and his answer was: diff them!
WHAT! 25,000 files, half of them built by the c++ compiler, tens of configuration files scattered in different places, linking all the new libraries from scratch, are they crazy or what?
And then he tells me that they are working for 15 years this way. That's why everyone hates them I guess.
going to have a long day...
P.S. many more rants to come from this integration.4 -
when the moon hits your eye
like a big pizza pie,
that's amore
when a file you don't need
exceeds 50mb,
.gitignore -
Food and computers.
Sorry for the fat people as well but i think those is legit.
I am sitting next to this friend of mine in class. She is a bit big. Anyhow.
She opens her laptop and i see her screen. Its dirty. But by dirty i mean fucking dirty. Like brow transparent circle like things all over.
I`m like: “shiiiet， whats that on your screen”.
She: “i am not really sure”.
2 days layer in another class we sit together again and she looks at me with a smile.
She: “look my screen is clean. It was dirty because sometimes o sit in bed and eat chicken then type on my keyboard，so when i close my computer the keys touch the screen and voiiiila!”
Me: “..... Wow”
She was quite proud she had elucidated the problem and did not really understand the meaning of my wow.4 -
Recently found an artist called "Big Data". His song titles describe what Big Data actually is really well:
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Warning: long rant
I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm the only person who cares about their privacy
I try, as much as I can, to avoid surveillance. I use firefox, protonmail, duckduckgo, e2e encrypted chat platforms, avoid social media like the plague, and do everything I can to block facebook and google trackers on websites I visit
And it's exhausting
Each search I make means I waste another 30 seconds because duckduckgo doesn't pull the answer directly from webpages like google does
I get weird looks when I give people a @protonmail email address, and I have to explain what it is to them every fucking time
People ask if I have social media, and I either give them nothing or my Github account
And for what? Nobody else cares, no matter how much I explain how toxic google and facebook are to society.
They just say 'I have nothing to hide' as they scroll Instagram, letting Zuckerberg build an intimately detailed profile on them.
They just say 'so what' as they google memes from their chrome browser, allowing google to share that information with god-knows-who
If everyone else has given up their privacy for convenience, why am I still fighting a losing battle?
It feels like I'm fighting a war against big tech by myself, and I'm tired and about to lay down my arms12 -
Finals over. Get to enjoy family time.
Gets email from Amazon. We wanna move on with the hiring process. Please complete these online tests. By 12/26.
Good bye family so I can cram haha4 -
Hardest part of bring a newbie programmer? Figuring out which keywords to use when you search Google, to get the right answer2
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Updated goal in regards to my road to machine learning mastery.
Status: new found motivation
Motivational case: bring humanity closer to having 2B become a real thing.
Reason: big booty droids should be a right to humanity.
End of transmission.
On another note, the sony xperia compact is a real nice device, so is the note 8. I would prob go with the note for power but the size of the xperia is more convenient for my taste.1 -
Today I learned that the big-endian and little-endian naming comes from Gulliver's Travels, where Lilliputs argue over whether to break eggs on the little-end or big-end!3
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I'm a VR developer, I'm working on a zombie survival, I want to finish that, then start an vrmmorpg 😍😍😍9
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"Our company encourages cryptocurrency big data agile machine learning, empowerment diversity, celebrate wellness and synergy, unpack creative cloud real-time front-end bleeding edge cross-platform modular success-driven development of digital signage, powered by an unparalleled REST API backend, driven by a neural network tail recursion AI on our cloud based big data linux servers which output real time data to our Wordpress template interactive dynamic website TypeScript applet, with deep learning tensor flow capabilities.
Don't get what the fuck I just said? Udemy offers countless courses on python based buzzwords. Be the first out of 13 people to sell your soul and private information, and you'll get the first three minutes of the course free!"3 -
I just joined a new organization and saw a single file with 9433 lines of code. Advance RIP to me.8
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Want to make someone's life a misery? Here's how.
Don't base your tech stack on any prior knowledge or what's relevant to the problem.
Instead design it around all the latest trends and badges you want to put on your resume because they're frequent key words on job postings.
Once your data goes in, you'll never get it out again. At best you'll be teased with little crumbs of data but never the whole.
I know, here's a genius idea, instead of putting data into a normal data base then using a cache, lets put it all into the cache and by the way it's a volatile cache.
Here's an idea. For something as simple as a single log lets make it use a queue that goes into a queue that goes into another queue that goes into another queue all of which are black boxes. No rhyme of reason, queues are all the rage.
Have you tried: Lets use a new fangled tangle, trust me it's safe, INSERT BIG NAME HERE uses it.
Finally it all gets flushed down into this subterranean cunt of a sewerage system and good luck getting it all out again. It's like hell except it's all shitty instead of all fiery.
All I want is to export one table, a simple log table with a few GB to CSV or heck whatever generic format it supports, that's it.
So I run the export table to file command and off it goes only less than a minute later for timeout commands to start piling up until it aborts. WTF. So then I set the most obvious timeout setting in the client, no change, then another timeout setting on the client, no change, then i try to put it in the client configuration file, no change, then I set the timeout on the export query, no change, then finally I bump the timeouts in the server config, no change, then I find someone has downloaded it from both tucows and apt, but they're using the tucows version so its real config is in /dev/database.xml (don't even ask). I increase that from seconds to a minute, it's still timing out after a minute.
In the end I have to make my own and this involves working out how to parse non-standard binary formatted data structures. It's the umpteenth time I have had to do this.
These aren't some no name solutions and it really terrifies me. All this is doing is taking some access logs, store them in one place then index by timestamp. These things are all meant to be blazing fast but grep is often faster. How the hell is such a trivial thing turned into a series of one nightmare after another? Things that should take a few minutes take days of screwing around. I don't have access logs any more because I can't access them anymore.
The terror of this isn't that it's so awful, it's that all the little kiddies doing all this jazz for the first time and using all these shit wipe buzzword driven approaches have no fucking clue it's not meant to be this difficult. I'm replacing entire tens of thousands to million line enterprise systems with a few hundred lines of code that's faster, more reliable and better in virtually every measurable way time and time again.
This is constant. It's not one offender, it's not one project, it's not one company, it's not one developer, it's the industry standard. It's all over open source software and all over dev shops. Everything is exponentially becoming more bloated and difficult than it needs to be. I'm seeing people pull up a hundred cloud instances for things that'll be happy at home with a few minutes to a week's optimisation efforts. Queries that are N*N and only take a few minutes to turn to LOG(N) but instead people renting out a fucking off huge ass SQL cluster instead that not only costs gobs of money but takes a ton of time maintaining and configuring which isn't going to be done right either.
I think most people are bullshitting when they say they have impostor syndrome but when the trend in technology is to make every fucking little trivial thing a thousand times more complex than it has to be I can see how they'd feel that way. There's so bloody much you need to do that you don't need to do these days that you either can't get anything done right or the smallest thing takes an age.
I have no idea why some people put up with some of these appliances. If you bought a dish washer that made washing dishes even harder than it was before you'd return it to the store.
Every time I see the terms enterprise, fast, big data, scalable, cloud or anything of the like I bang my head on the table. One of these days I'm going to lose my fucking tits.10 -
Team of developers suggest one of our legacy services is a nightmare to maintain, terrible to develop on top of and is fundamentally wrong in terms of data and application structure.
They are 100% correct and I fully endorse their request to redevelop it.
I'm less enthusiastic that their new version is much worse than the original...1 -
Oh boy, finally something to rant about.
I got hired in a "small" company (not even 2000 people in it), then got "shipped" to a way bigger company. Basically, I work for this company (the french biggest internet / phone service provider) but in the name of my own. And this since last wednesday.
First off, I'm fucking stupid. After leaving the big company that I was in before, I swore to myself that from now on, I would work for smaller companies, mainly because I couldn't stand the inertia that big company have. You ask for something, you get it a month and a half after. The old company has about 6000 employees... This company has 98k people in it. Fuck. My. Life.
Now, to the rant: Orange (the company) decided that they had to move their office somewhere else. They set up a lot of things so that all we needed to do was to put things in boxes, to work somewhere else until next monday, then we could go to the new office on tuesday morning.
Keep in mind that I have been there for 8 days: I keep learning how they do their stuff. For example, if I need a specific docker image, I can't get it from the Docker Hub, the download will fail. However, if I hit an Orange subdomain's registry, I will get this image from a mirror. Because fuck logic.
When we join the company, they give us a Windows laptop ("yeaah we have useless but required Orange softwares that don't run on Linux" "Yeeaaah fuck you") that have a specific VPN allowing us to use the Orange network and, in theory, you can download docker images or clone orange repositories from that network.
In practice, you can simply just go fuck yourself. Why? Because whenever you want to curl, wget or pull anything (or even pip install), your connection keeps being shut down while it waits for the response's header.
The worst part? According to my (new) boss's evasive answers, the way to fix that works with glue, sticks and the power of the Force.
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU ENFORCE US A SHITTY OS FOR DEVELOPMENT, WHEN THE TOOLS YOU SHOVE IN IT WITH A FAKE SMILE DON'T EVEN WORK, AND WE HAVE TO HACK OUR WAY TO FUCKING WORK?6 -
I'm addicted to the Visual Studio shortcut ctrl+K - ctrl+D to automatically format my code and hate it when I pull down the latest version and it's not formatted properly. 😲5
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Just found this absolute 5 head, galaxy brain implementation in a piece of code which is called in a loop by a background scheduler which has performance issues.
There are 20+ properties, some which are recursively calling other properties with the same implementation style in this class.
Constant out of memory errors have been reported for this software, I wonder why...
15 -
So I am helping coworker with debugging a weather forecast feature on a digital display solution we sell to hundreds of companies.
He says he just doesn't know why but the forecast data isn't correct.
I open up file where forecast data is stored and the data hasn't been updated in 6 months.
Thats when he realizes no one has paid the forecast service provider in 6 months...
And this guy is supposed to be senior to me?1 -
When I was in college I had to code a piece of software for use on the college Intranet.
When it came time to deploy, I went to the network admin to set the package up for distribution.
His first reply, "oh, it's only 8mb, thats so sad".
WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER AS LONG AS IT DOES THE JOB!5 -
Today's rant will be brought to you by the letters A, W, and S.
I stayed up all night, ALL NIGHT, and finished this cool new feature, which is an integration between two technologies that tmk has not been done before. In short, I invented a thing last night.
Then at 5 fucking 30 this morning my EC2 fucking died. No SSH, no HTTPS... nothing... can't get into it to see what's up.
Put in a support request to AWS and finally went to bed. Wake up this morning to still nothing.
Can't wait for AWS support, try stopping and starting my instance... nevermind I'll have to re-setup SSH, and VS Code, and Workbench.. (which why the fuck can't I keep an IP through a reboot in the first fucking place!)
But nevermind that I was willing to do all that... this piece of shit won't start up any fucking way.
Fuck.
Now I have to rebuild this fucking EC2... and I could try to snapshot it... but that would probably fuck up too, so I'm just going to do it by fucking hand like I do everything else.
Fuck AWS.4 -
Sometimes, when bugs get a bit out of hand... You have to counter them with better debugging methods 🐥
2 -
Fellow Devrantians,
I have a ridiculous story and a mission if you choose to participate.
So we had a dev that worked here for 2 years. He eventually left. It was a mutual decision as they didn't want to perform some of the work the boss assigned. Okay, I guess that is a thing. Not working on stuff for 2 years is kind weird but okay.
It has been almost a year since he left. A cop shows up today. Apparently they were investigating a crime perpetuated by 2 people at my work. During the last year it is alleged that 2 people that are very high in the company have placed mice in this former employee's vehicle. Yes, the very serious crime of Vehicular Rodent Redistribution has occurred at my work place. There were 2 people involved (there may be more). So technically that raises it to a Conspiracy to Commit Vehicular Rodent Redistribution. This may mean the feds will have to get involved.
This is a dark day for our company. I am not sure how to deal with this information. I cannot look at these people the same way anymore. I didn't realize we had Mouseketeers in my work place.
The mission: Please help me come up with additional crime titles and perpetrator titles for this heinous crime. I intend to share my thoughts at next weeks meeting.6 -
Once in a while I feel like Big Head on Silicon Valley when he was at Hooli. Guess it is not the worst thing. Maybe they will promote me to the moonshot department.
Maybe some day I will get his type of buyout. -
I can’t understand why every time I work for a multimillionaire company that sells their product to thousands of companies, when I start to debug this fucking product it crashes because of the absence of simple input checks... wtf
“Can’t divide by zero”
“Null everywhere”3 -
Am I the only one with sore thumbs from using a phone and typing at work all day? Everyone talks about their phone and features it should have but I'm just like "hardware ain't shit if you're going to break your hands using it"
I think it's a tall people with big hands problem.6 -
Got a pretty big maths test tomorrow morning. I’m actually a little scared because it’s a little too big for my liking, but I’ll have to manage.10
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May be it is small thing to many people's but as a less experience Developer it is big thing for me.
I AM GOING TO LEAD PROJECT.😊
Ohk project is not so big..3 -
A movie star in a upcoming blockchain buster, "The last echo", written in php, based on a true story.
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Lets be honest guys.
We all pretend to be Richard but we are just a bunch of "Big Heads". And some of you guys fuck.7 -
Just downloading the CM Source code right now. I'm really excited and nervous because I never tackled such a big project on my own.
Wish me Luck guys! :)
1 -
Upgrading to PHP 8.0 is like upgrading to Mac Big Sur OS. The pain of incompatibilities will kill you.3
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One of my colleagues who thinks he knows all about "big data": "I try to put everything in hadoop, that is my philosophy".
We don't even have a hadoop cluster. -
1st post of a series, which I might start called wolkes weird api queries.
Today we have a user that was looking for "big bobs"
3 -
Went to a Big Data workshop, now I know why there's a elephant as hadoop's logo and how it came. Still no clue how it works.
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I started working as back end dev and I was given a pc sadly with no admin rights (which I neede oc) so I happily requested them to IT services. After 3 weeks of waiting got a msg telling me that the script for giving me admin rights was not working so they had to send the request to the next lvl and bla bla bla.
So... I called them. A really nice guy just connected to my pc, used an admin resque account and added my user as admin (2 mins) et voilà. 1 month of waiting for a 2 mins shet. Hate big companies...4 -
December, the last month of year. I made big plans to finish 2016 with a perfect ending.
Few places to travel, startup, freelancing and many more...
But first I need to pass my exams which are not based on programming. 😕😑 I am just not able to concentrate, my PC looks at me and I look at her. But trying to focus on the study. 😕4 -
My team has a huge, high priority project to make a very complex system a lot more simple.
It has to follow the same rules as the current system and do everything it does.
Can I kill myself now? -
I’ve been reading this book “Designing Data Intensive Applications” by Martin Kleppman. The concepts are really well explained !!2
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!rant
Started Data Science course on big data universuty. The outcomes are heavily dependent on domain experts/stakeholders!!! Since all the answers are false positives and need to decide what make sense with the help of domain experts. And most of the Data scientists are not from programming background, they are domain experts who turned into Data scientists. Thoughts if I should continue with learning big data/data science, knowing that I have knowledge in information retrieval and search engines. -
Guys, I think they are asking about Big Data Loss. People thought it's about Data Loss.
My Big Data Loss experience is when everyone in Hong Kong starts talking about big data using spreadsheets. So lost.1 -
Quickly delete a double record in the production database with a script, just forgot the where statement...2
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Trying not to get too hyped about AI, ML, Big Data, IoT, RPA. They are big names and I'd rather focus and expand skills in mobile and web dev
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Just wrote the first part of what will become a rather large Go project!
Almost the whole thing is gonna be pluggable, which adds an extra challenge, but nevertheless, the is gonna be a fun ride!
Also, it's gonna be Open Source, but until I'm at a reasonably stable version, I'm gonna be leaving it closed. Lmk if you're looking for something to do and want to join, this is gonna be a big project.7 -
Today I had a co-worker ask how we can set a value in the registry since this other program we are working with encrypts it. My response was, "It isn't encrypted, it is little-endian." Then I went into the whole endianness topic. After finally telling him how to convert the hex values in the registry back to the original decimal value that the program is storing, he said, "I'll just take your word for it."1
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Why is everyone into big data? I like mostly all kind of technology (programming, Linux, security...) But I can't get myself to like big data /ML /AI. I get that it's usefulness is abundant, but how is it fascinating?6
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I really hate all kinds of tattle that sweeps the hallways of corporations, the gossip behind one's back, BUT this colleague of mine starts pissing me off. Recently joined that team where he should support us getting the Agile thing going. And he can go on for hours of how it should go and how flawlessly it worked in his previous company - all that needless meta talk - so much that a team member jokingly even said: yeah, shut up asshole. But he is all talk. When the name of a library was dropped his experience in using it went to upstream patches. His Linux experience lets us speechless. He is so convincing, I'm even doubting my accusations. Yet his only contribution in code wouldn't show and other team member wasted hours upon hours to recompile plugins to show that shit. Man, just leave us alone watching your youtube live-streams so we can get the shit done.
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imaging getting organic traffic.
but
Hugeeeee but.
you pay for the ads which redirects to the search keyword that ranks your site to the top.1 -
Guys how many monitors use at office? I work with 3 and i would like 4th but my desk isnt enough big for it :( Also i prefer more full hd monitors than big resolution ultrawides11
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What kind of influence did American Series (like Big Bang, Simpsons etc) have on your image of America? Especially their technological progress.
2 -
Day one of my first big project.
It felt weird but a little easy to grasp discord.py but I felt like I was just copying people as I read or watched tutorials on how to use things and how they work and while I was getting started In general. But I got the dice function working great. I had an error but I fixed it.
After I got it working I uploaded it to my friends server and they messed around with it and it felt so great because they were enjoying it and complimenting me and I’m not even done with it :)
I’m learning a lot but I’m also struggling with certain areas like finding good documentation or feeling like I’m just copying.. but I’m gonna keep doing these update things because I feel cool and official as I write these :^) -
Turned up on customer site yesterday to do a says SME work for them like I have done every week for last 3 months..
As I walk in they took a decision 15 mins earlier to power off the platform I'm working on to do a backup ( on a big data platform?) and its down till 13. 30...
Irony? The minute they finally let me turn it on New data arrives in the platform so their backup is out of date and they wouldn't need backups if they'd followed my original design and distributed it over two data centres....
Oh and they 'forgot' I was coming so there was little / nothing to do for the rest of the day either
Clients can be a PITA but I can't really complain.... Easy day though! -
I fucking hate how big companies advertise their BIG NEW FEATURE as innovation and jump two major versions because of this...
New update:
UPDATE FROM 2.1.1 TO 4.1!!!
YOU CAN NOW ROTATE THE DISPLAY IN THE OPTIONS SCREEN AND IT ALSO ROTATES ITS VIEW.
WTF?!?!7 -
I just discovered that Go needs a very long time to compile a 120MB source code file. Beside the fact that the file was very big, it just contained a big amount of byte arrays.
Did anyone had ever such big source code files?5 -
Not a rant but a question/style.
What do you prefer and why?:
if(condition)
vs
if (condition == true)
and
if (!condition)
vs
if (condition == false)
vs
if (condition != true)17 -
I would work at an animal shelter. I would need a big house though because I would take so many animals home
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!rant
Working in a small comoany vs big company?
I always found myself in small companies (they are often more flexible with hours and work patterns) - those who worked in both kinds, have you got any preference and the main difference points?10 -
Holy shit big companies are absolutely rubish. How on earth do they not think about the long term. I'm like "look what we are doing isn't right, we can't make new functionality that will no longer works in 6month. The other department webservices are changing and you're well aware of that" and they're like "we need to produce value, we don't have the resources, blabla". Why should I care? f#ck you it's not my company and don't come back crying that it's not working.
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Should i do hadoop big data course ? I am thinking of this summer to do on simplilearn. I am third year student undergraduate in IT. I am java guy and good in RDBMS.. Should i learn then?2
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dude1: You know what having big feet means, right? <wink, wink>
dude2: You get to wear clown shoes!
Gives a whole new meaning to "big shoes to fill". -
"We want :focus styles removed everywhere in our intranet because we don't like it"
- Very-Big-Company, multiple times "Nielsen Best Intranet"1 -
This guy was giving an introductory course on Big Data one year, was boring as f, came in class with unreadable 80 slides presentations, asked us to re-code one of the assignment he gave us for the term exam. I went to two of his classes and still rocked the assignments, flunked the exam tho.
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In the relatively-near future , we will laugh out loud when we think back of the times when every person had a big box of CPU (or even chunky laptops) ,because the movement towards cloud based systems and further development of AI will make the CPU'S an absurd entity.
every device we would have would just be a window (😂) to access the central system.3 -
Being the only dev to maintain a website with 20k unique visitors weekly, an admin panel for all the things you can imagine, including a custom e-shop, invoicing, etc, etc, and dozens of smaller websites is soo time consuming, and frustrating. I need a break and build something awesome...2
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Sometimes I wonder how big it companies with more then 500k net worth get away with bugs in their webapps.
In my company we also have bugs but I am the only dev and we won't hit the 100k Salesmark with our software.3 -
My instagram feeds wooww
Big Setup with laptops pc phone etc .. hot guy or glzz.. and a big caption lets learn big O notation .. hehehe2 -
A: Do you know Big O?
B: Yea I know Big O. Who doesn't know Big O?
A: So what's the Big O of X?
B: It's ....
A: Oh what about Y?
B: Oh that has a bigger Big O.
A: Hm... how about this one?
B: That's a really big Big O. Why not use mine?
A: Ooh that looks impressive, very small. So which Big O should we use?
B: Well there's a constant trade off, even though small is good, in this case I think the bigger one works better.4 -
How many languages does one have to learn...? Learnt C, C++ and Java because of college courses. Learnt HTML, CSS, and vanilla JS because I wanted to learn frontend. Now learning R for big data analytics. Today, I came to know that I need to learn more Java or start learning Python for Hadoop...!!
😧😵1 -
something id like to yell at my company:
if u only cant afford to take a certain team to team lunches because its getting too big, stop recruiting for fucks sake. it was literally the coolest perk🤷♂️ -
Another question for Database-Gurus:
Is a MySQL table with 4 columns and about 42000+ rows considered 'big' or should the table be split in smaller pieces?5 -
I saw The Big Short. Shows how connecting data when others don't or can't can present big opportunities. Christian Bale's character was very cool.
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1) IList doesn't have an AddRange.
2) WPF bindings must be ObservableCollections
3) Comboxes using Event Notification on PropertyChange are originally developed by some dope at Microsoft who still doesn't comprehend Big-O
4) LINQ can only do so much...
It's Christmas. My gift from Santa is trying to get through an end of year crunch on a project that is made entirely out of hot sweaty year old garbage, and the garbage collector is a halfwit who comes seemingly only when they want to, regardless of when I call Dispose().
It's 12:26pm here. That means it's time for bourbon and a good bit of "F*** this, I'm done for the day."7 -
Did you get any seniors like these... we need to do that and that but tomorrow I won't remember and do as I told. 🫠 He won't wake up until any production bug arises.
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I was a frontend developer, and I am new to hadoop or anything related to big data.
I am currently working as a Hadoop developer and I get to work on one of existing codebase also I am trying to recollect Java which I learnt during college.
Can u please provide me any inputs on how to get started with Hadoop, a personal view point on scope and future of Hadoop. A rough time span of how long it took for you to get out of the noob zone.
If you could provide me with a good tutorial or blog that would be awesome.
Thanks in advance1 -
I am going to start a big project (6-10 weeks) in my computer science class and had an idea to create an application that allows the user to share their mouse and keyboard over several computers regardless of OS. I plan to do the project in C++ but have no experience creating applications with C++. Firstly, is this project possible in. NET Core? If not, could you point me to resources or give me some tips that would help me in my project. Thanks.6
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stop thinking big and trying to fix, predict and solve every problem and accept the fact that I lost the battle so I can focus on small things instead of big ideas that would never happen
cause maybe just maybe bunch of small things can at some point shape big idea -
How do you manage to explain to a boss who thinks all devs can solve problems by typing on their keyboard fast, that it’s almost always fantasy?
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I ain't getting any summer internship so thinking to do a good course on big data and hadoop. Can't find the free proper source for beginners😕! Any suggestions? Whats your plan btw..m thinking to dive into web dev as well.2
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What's the big issue with MS acquiring GitHub?
Like, really? What's the big deal with it?
I don't see any.2 -
What's up with the new android update, everything is like big. Did they just changed one line of code like increase everything to big size ...lol3
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We need a domain specific language for AI that is tailored for big data. So many tools are just not scalable to the size needed for these massive AI problems. It needs to be able to conceptualize and handle the fattest data in the industry.
We should call the language: Your Mom2 -
Happened today on the way home
---
*Doesn't feel keys in usual pocket*
Shit, where are my keys?
*Checks other pockets*
Oh, I put them where I usually put my wallet.
...
Shit, where is my wallet? (I forgot it on my desk 🤦♂️) -
Honest question. When do you consider yourself a "Big data engineer"?
Today I managed to create a system that collects historical metrics from monitoring tools every 5 minutes and do all sorts of crazy transformations to make them ingestible by grafana Mimir in OTLP protocol. Doing 600gb a dat, millions of active time series, .... And I still feel it's, "small"
Thoughts?5 -
Today's achievement, has successfully told my friend to create an account in Devrant. Guess what? My friend instantly love it.2
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Have opted for Big Data and analytics this sem as Dept. elective. Can't understand anything in the lectures(as usual). Any suggestions how to start learning?(books, tutorials, courses, etc.)1
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Was on Educational Consultancy for counselling. Asked them about their website, they gave me their Cpanel password to add some feature. After all I am just a noob. God knows what is going to happen to their site.
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Can anyone recommend resources on learning/revising big O and big Theta notation?
It’s the one thing that never seems to stick in my head, and the course material provided by university isn’t particularly useful.7 -
There was this faculty who had a masters degree in big data, during my graduation.
She asked the whole class to install 'hadoop' on their machines as an assignment; in a situation where most of the class didn't even properly knew what Linux was.
I installed it and showed it to her.
She: Shreyans, can you help me install it on my system, I'm getting some errors.
Me: Sure ma'am.
She: On what Linux did you install it?
Me: Linux Mint ma'am.
She: But Mint's setup won't work for my Ubuntu. Do you have a setup for my Ubuntu?
Me: Whaaat!?
And I stood there frozen thinking what to reply..
#facepalm #facechair #facetable
#facehammer #facePanzer1 -
Tony Stark is one of the most fascinating hardware and software testers. The man has got some good body (to withstand injuries)and big brains in a big pocket.1
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Anyone got some good links to introduce Big-O notation? I’m getting my head around it but still feel I’m missing the basics!4
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What is the Hot Tech (Best Emerging Technology) of this generation?
Machine Learning, Internet of Things, Big Data, Android development.5 -
made website, pentesters and general testers needed. pm on telegram if you'd like to help me out :) @calmyourtities
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