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Search - "tech"
*computer fell, broken in pieces*
Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?
Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,
Me: no, no I just-
Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?
Me: umm… no, look I'm just -
Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir
Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-
Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?
Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -
Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8
Me: no just check my-
Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-
Tech Industry: “We need more developers!”
NewDev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “only experienced developers please! We don’t have time to train juniors ”
Older Dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “no, you want too much money and too much time off“
Mid dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “only experienced devs who are a culture fit!”
Robot dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “You are Hired”10
First time meeting girlfriends grandparents.
👴👵: So what do you do?
😎: I'm a software engineer ... So computers and stuff.
👴: Oh, can you have a look at my phone? There's that weird icon I don't understand ...
So within five minutes, I was their tech support. It was an icon for Android Nearby, btw and I didn't have an explanation ready.
That happened five more times this evening.19
// family tech support
Dad: *clicks something*
Dad: *something strange happens*
Dad: Hey son, come over here. What happened?
Son: Hm.. what did u click?
Dad: I don't know. Aren't you supposed to know that? You're our computer genius.7
Me: Wanna see this website I built this weekend?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: I connected a bunch of APIs so you can snap a photo of yourself and get a recommended song based on your facial expression. Pretty cool, right?
Friend: *thinking* ... I think you should change the size of that button, and the colors are pretty bad, dude.
Every time I show my non-tech friends anything I get this kind of feedback :/19
"Oh no, big tech companies are taking advantage of our information and tracking everything we do. We're too dependent! "
"Wow this sounds important. *Googles it *"
"Everyone needs to know, *shares on Facebook*"
A few days ago a friend of mine rang me up complaining about internet issues with his computer. As usual I did the "is it plugged in, turn it off then on again" sort of thing to waste time while my pasta was cooking. After a while he asked if I had another bogus solution, so I suggested flushing his toilet.
He runs off, I hear the flush, comes back and viola - it fucking worked.
The point of this is: if it don't work, flush the toilet. You're welcome, tech support out ✌️11
Tech support to my friend:
Friend: Root my phone!
Friend: play store is not working
Me: why do u want to root for that?
Friend: is there any other option?
Me: give me ur phone
After 20 sec ...
Me: Sign in to ur Google account 😐😐3
I don’t usually recommend movies to a lot of people, but if you like going to the movies, I highly, highly recommend you see “Searching”. Its wide release in the U.S. is today and it will be out internationally soon I think.
It’s probably the best thriller movie I’ve ever seen, and the best movie I’ve seen in last few years, and I see a lot of them. The tech in it is awesome, and how the movie is presented will bring back tech memories and it really is a trip down memory lane. The movie has a bit of everything. An awesome story, awesome suspense, and great use of technology and social media.
10/10, definitely see it!32
I need to hide myself, my computer, programming skills and computer knowledge from people. Then only, I will be safe..
Friend: Heeey, you're good with computers right?
Me: No! 😑
Friend: Come-on bro. I know you are.
Me: What do you want?
Friend: I want you to check and book flights for me for country X.
Me: Are you ok? How does this have anything to do with someone being good with computers and stuff?
Friend: Haha, see? You're good with computers. *starts laughing. Anyway, since you're good, you can find the best prices. I know you know how to search sites and how to find things online.
Me: WTF?!?!!! All, you have to do is type in your search. If you don't like the results, you simply refine it.
Friend: See, all this tech stuff I'm not really good at it.
Me: But you're good at searching for other things online, right? Do the same for your flights.
*Picks my laptop and walks away.
How can a young man not be able to search for flights online but knows how to use several gadgets. Nonsense.9
I’m the tech support of my family and I’m proud! 😎
I only hate it if other people treat me like their personal tech support9
A seasoned colleague just wrote this and I think it was very valuable:
On tech debt:
So the big challenge with technical debt is making non-technical management (CEO, COO, CFO, directors) understand what it means, and just how it operates. Sometimes it actually makes good sense to incur technical debt to get to market sooner, just as it sometimes makes sense to borrow money to get cash now and repay that loan later with (hopefully) resulting greater revenues from that investment. But just like a loan, tech debt always has to be paid some day. The longer the tech debt goes, the more expensive it gets. And also like a loan, the cost compounds, like compound interest on a loan. Tech debt should always be chosen with a clear plan to pay it off at some point in the not too distant future. The longer one waits to pay it, the more expensive it gets.7
As i see a ton of people complaining here about family related tech stuff. I guess i should introduce everyone to this guy.
I don't meme a lot but this one really hits close to home for me.
Manager: We do not identify as a tech company so don’t expect tech company salary increases this year
Dev: Well don’t expect me to bring a tech work ethic then
Had this with a relative. His laptop wasn't turning on, with or without charger so he brought it back to the store to fix it. It ran elementary os by the way (detail for later). Then he got it back after a week and we booted it and it had windows 8 installed (wtf indeed). So we called the service desk to ask about it since the issue was a broken charger (!!!). Their reply: oh yeah there was a weird system installed on it so we thought we'd reset it as well for you.
SERIOUSLY, THAT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB!!
He is not tech savvy and he didn't know much about backups so that was literally about one year of work GONE. Yeah, I setup a cloud backup sync thingy for him right after that.7
Roommate's boyfriend visits just to work because his laptop can't connect via WiFi anymore.
Described the problem and fix attempts yesterday, he got two other tech savvy people involved, now suspects hardware problem.
I needed <1m to re-activate the WiFi adapter, now I'm seen as the local tech God as I deserve.3
Best computer/hacking/tech TV and movies?
I'll start the list with some of my favorites.
2. The Net
3. Jumpin Jack Flash
7. Mr Robot
Recruiter: "Ashleigh, I have a client that has asked me to reach out to you. They use really modern tech"
Me: "Oh Yea? What like?"
Recuriter: "es2015 and symfony 2"
Me: "fuck off"4
// family tech support
Dad: *Opens Microsoft Word*
Dad: *Writes stuff*
Dad: *Saves the file as "Doc1.docx" (every time)*
Dad: Son, where did I save my file? I can't find it.2
Friend brings over a Windows 8 all in one laptop.
Friend: Can you fix my laptop
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: I thought you worked with computers.
Me: I do... but I'm not tech support
Me: (reluctantly) Fine.
*many hours later after attempting to get the PC to boot from a USB. WHY DOES THIS PC NOT HAVE A KEY TO ENTER THE GOD DAMNED BOOT MENU AND HAS NO BOOT ORDER SELECTION?????!*
Friend: Have you fixed it?
Friend: You suck at computers
Never spoke to him again.8
New to this but here's my rant I suppose. It bothers me how "non-tech" people kind of devalue what tech people do. Like they have zero understanding of it, so you make something in 30 minutes or an hour that took years of building said skills and involved complex logic and understanding of relational data and because it only took you 30 minutes or an hour it must have been "easy". Or the way you are everybody's free tech advisor with family and friends... And things are said like "I'm not good with this stuff, but you're so good with it". For the record nobody is just "great" at technology or coding from birth its been a 2+ decade craft that I've experimented with and learned and put effort into. So taking into consideration all this effort I have put in to understand all this you say you'll never remember to push that button so you'll just ask me again when the problem arises. Yes because its so fun for me to constantly maintain your electronics because you can't bother to remember to push a button.5
We were still using python 2.7 waaay into 2020 - It had been heralding the impending doom since 2018 and finally end-of-lifed in 2020.
That's when I finally managed to be the loudest asshole in the room and allocate a team (myself included) to refactor shit up to 3.6 (then somewhat more modern) for a month or so.
COVID the destroyer may have helped by wrecking havoc on our client's demands pipelines.
It was the third week into "the red sprint" when my entire team (myself included) were beheaded out of the company since we had "not delivered ANYTHING in weeks!" (emphasis in the original).
Frankly, being laid off was by a large margin the best thing that company ever did for me.
I heard from a poor schmuck who stayed behind that they were still using the shitty spaghetti code from before our refactoring - in freaking November 2021 - and that our entire last effort was thrown out because "nobody knows how to use it".
There is tech debt and there is tech bankruptcy.
I may have a lot of tech schadenfreude now :)13
Most of the tech YouTubers are really noob engineers.
Joma was a data scientist. He is an L3 engineer at Google and he hasn't done much during the last 1 year based on his internal stats.
I saw tech leads stats while he was at Google and that dude did nothing during his time. I'm sure he was an IC before he became a lead.
Clement talks about system design bull shit but he's a math major who worked on some angular front end while he was at Google. Basically his experience in tech is mostly involving using mat-button and mat-input. He also quit FB in a month.
Listening to tech lead gives me cancer. That guy was also some front end/ mobile engineer. I don't think any less of mobile engineers but tech leads acts as if he built some large scale systems at Google and FB. His opinion about react native shows how much of a noob he is. He also talked about docker in one of his video which showed he had some fundamental misunderstanding of what docker is. In his courses, he struggles to explain simple algorithms.
I don't know how these people have the courage to claim themselves as some sort of experts in the field when they are extreme noobs. They also sell some shady courses and are robbing innocent college kids.
One thing they all do well is talk. Which I give them 10/10.12
Holy shit, I'm really impressed with the high tech park my dentist has. She takes pictures of a tooth, a computer makes a 3D model out of that, then she grinds down the tooth as necessary and takes pictures again.
From the difference, the computer generates the data for the tooth crown, including warning spots where it could be too thin so that a bit more grinding is needed.
Then she corrects some spots manually and sends it over to the CNC machine in the next room that cuts the thing from a ceramics block with correct colour. Some heat treatment later, and the tooth crown fits perfectly.
Gone are the days with dental imprints, provisional crown and not quite fitting final crown.2
My friends with non tech background thinks that I am hacking into NSA or something but they don't know I am just downloading the package lists by running sudo apt-get update. 😂5
When you contact tech support just to find out he is in a boat.
Anyways if anyone is interested, devBanner is up again!
Create your banner at https://devbanner.center or https://devbanner.github.io/devBann...5
I was watching this movie's trailer called Let's Be Evil, it did look promising based on the genre (Sci-Fi, Thriller, Horror) and synopsis (includes Augmented Reality (AR) tech) BUT as I soon was on this frame right here, I am not going to watch the movie now. 😂
You are making a high tech movie, at least do intend to add some realistic code snippets or scripts related to AR rather than showing some random plain HTML.
You can watch the trailer here : https://youtu.be/Nsbzf3bL4Qg
Code will appear around 0:156
Saw this on the interwebs. Left: customer. Right: employee.
The left one looks like a nice type of customer-person though.
I like to imagine that the employee-guy does not understand why the computer is not working, at which point the customer-person says: "Oh, I can fix that."5
So called my ISP because of slow internet
Me : Hey , slow connection
Him : Could you open up CMD
Me : I'm on linux
then the dude hangs up :/ another guy called later , I guess the tech support needed tech support , FML1
My tech stack progression:
Started with PHP without any frameworks, using a homegrown MVC architecture. Used to use `mysql_` functions everywhere. And only jquery + vanilla CSS in the front end.
Then moved to use PDO functions in PHP and Backbone.js + Less CSS in the front-end.
Then moved to Django in the back-end. Did not like Django very much as it is too opinionated and not flexible (although it's damn good for rapid development if you buy into their type of things).
Then moved to Flask + SQLAlchemy and using a home grown architecture. This is a sweet spot for me in terms of back end and stayed in this spot for the longest time.
Moved to Postgres from MySQL as I fell in love with Postgres.
Then learnt React+Redux. Liked it. Made most sense to front-end development this way. Moved front-end stack to React+Redux.
Learning Haskell and been working with Scotty and eyeing Servant for a while now.
Let's see where it goes from here.
PS: this is my personal journey through various tech stacks in various products at various companies I have worked. I'm not talking about moving a product through these many tech stacks. That doesn't make any sense.9
Girls: do you find that most men in our work are sexist?
A flamewar in a Mozilla bug report brought me to this article: https://notapattern.net/2014/10/...
I believe that most of the points are ridiculous, and I know I'll probably get downvoted for this, but I'd really like to hear some woman's honest opinion.39
Tech support: we need to install backup software on your laptops.
Devs: what for?
TS: to backup all your important files, like word docs, excels, etc.
Devs: we don't use those. everything is on git/confluence/etc
TS: my boss told me to install it everywhere, so I have to do it.
Devs: well just disable it. uses too much tam, disk time and such
So he installed it on each laptop separately, took half a day, then we just disabled it and proceeded with our tasks. Now we get a question every other week why nothing is being synced from our computers. "We paid for the system and we want you to use it".
Tech support for Friend...
A friend ran down the hallway to my Appartement, I opened the door for him and asked him "What The Fuck... Is wrong with you?!" He was just coughing like...
My... Laptop.... Is... Slow...
When he then eventually came to the point where he could Breath normally again I asked him to login into his by then super with shitty software bloated PC... It was a mess... A Desktop full of Shit... only Shit... I
then opened Chrome and Task Manager...
and holy shit... EVERYTHING! Literally ANYTHING was under 100% Load... Yet his shitty Fans werent spinning up... Shutdown the Laptop and opened it... not to my surprise it was full of Dust... I cleaned it and booted it again... still 100% Load... I couldnt do shit without being bombarded with porn and Hentai Ads... So... I asked him "Did you make any backups to this machine?" He was like.. "*Really long explenation* No *Really long Explenation*"
Great... i thought to myself... Then I said to him his PC was so trash that i only could Reset it to 0... He was like DO ANYTHING YOU CAN LITERALLY ANYTHING!
I then explained him, Resetting this PC Means literally 0 A Fresh start, nothing of your data will be there literally nothing...
He again Was like DO IT!
So I did... When it was done i showed him the result... He FREAKED OUT LIKE THE WORLD WAS GOING TO FUCKING END, HE SCREAMED AT ME WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE? REVERSE IT! REVERSE IT NOW!
I Then said to him, I reset it to 0, I said this would happen...
He then took his now perfectly running Laptop and Ran away...
Tech support for friend, Reset PC to 0, Freaked out AF...4
When you make a tech-ish joke and you have to explain it because your coworkers aren't that tech-ish.2
Been playing a lot of old NES games lately.
Made me think how did they develop and program such amazing games with primitive 80'-90's technologies, assembly/c and no internet.
Now with all the tech we have most games are crap and based on webshit or mobile.3
Dev: So we need around $50-100 a month to activate and use some key services that would greatly reduce our backend complexity. Would this fit into our budget? Actually, we've never really discussed in general what sort of tech budget we have to work with...
Management: UNTIL WE HAVE SUSTAINABLE REVENUE, OUR TECH BUDGET IS 0
FullStackClown: 0? Are you serious? You can't spare a few hundred dollars TOTAL over the next 3 months until our next round of funding clears?
Management: ALSO WE ARE REALLY GOING TO NEED YOUR HELP TO FIND PRODUCT MARKET FIT FROM THE TECH SIDE
FullStackClown: Oh no... we've gotten to the classic point where they think tech is the thing that will solve their problems... abandon ship...8
So, as a programmer, I'm basically the go-to tech support guy for my family (and now my gf's family).
So, my gf's mum updated windows and her computer stopped playing around through headphones, asks me for help.
I've got no fucking idea, I don't even use windows.
She's like "if your computer did this what would you do".
"I'd google the problem and randomly try solutions until it started working again. And hope I didnt break anything else."
She didn't seem happy with my debugging technique...13
Me thinking that getting a job in tech is easier than getting a non-tech job because we are "in demand".5
So, I'm studying computer engineering in school, so a lot of people have decided I'm the tech one in the group and come to me with all there computer problems.
I'm constantly explaining basic things about their computers, how to exit vim, why using git is a lot easier then having 100 versions of files, how to change directories from the terminal. Simple things like that and while I normally don't mind, all these people are also in computer engineering and should really know all this stuff too.8
Guys! @dfox is doing an interview at my local tech radio show! Check it out on tunein WLJS . I can't wait to hear his inspiration for devRant.12
Saw this on Facebook and couldn't help but share here! 😂
A young woman submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke…
Dear Tech Support,
’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):
“First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.Good Luck!’
When I am telling non-tech people that I am studying Software Engineering:
They: What do you study at university?
Me: Software Engineering
They: Oh, so you're an engineer! My *some random person* is also an engineer!
Me: No, not that kind of engineer. I am a SOFTWARE engineer. I don't build things.
Me: I write code. Programs. For computers. I a programmer.
They: oh, great, very perspective! Will you fix my *PC/printer/whatever has on/off button on it*?
Freelance project I was working on was deployed. Without my knowledge. At 11pm. Their in-house "tech guy" thought that the preview build i gave them was good enough for deployment. Massive bug, broke their api endpoints.
Got a call at 2 in the morning,asking for a fix. I told them how it was their fault and the App they deployed had TESTING written right on the main screen.
They promised additional payment to get me to fix it asap.
Went through the commit history (thank goodness their tech guy knew git, fuck him for committing on production though) and the crash reports.
Removed three lines. All became right with the world again. 😎2
To people who have done tech support:
Shoot me. Do you know what it is like to teach kids to use a mouse? Or even type in a keyboard? They don’t even know how to double click. Gotta call google chrome the circle of colors for them to understand. Some think the video that is giving the instructions is actually them doing it. So when it ends they are like alright done.
FYI: working in an internship currently where we teach kindergarten up until 5th graders from scratch to Minecraft modding. Btw it is an unpaid internship.10
Every 2019 tech startup: We do deep machine learning with big data in the cloud.
Investors: Please take our money!5
I work as the entire I.T. department of a small business which products are web based, so naturally, I do tech support in said website directly to our clients.
It is normal that the first time a new client access our site they run into questions, but usually they never call again since it is an easy website.
There was an unlucky client which ran into unknown problems and blamed the server.
I couldn't determine the exact cause, but my assumption was a network error for a few seconds which made the site unavailable and the user tried to navigate the site through the navbar and exited the process he was doing. It goes without saying but he was very angry.
I assured him there was nothing wrong with the site, and told him that it would not be charged for this reason. Finally i told him that if he had the same problem, to let me know instead of trying to fix it himself.
The next time he used the site I received a WhatsApp message saying:
- there is something clearly wrong with the site... It has been doing this for so long!
And attached was a 10 second video which showed that he filled a form and never pressed send (my forms have small animations and text which indicates when the form is being send and error messages when an error occurs, usually not visible because the data they send is small and the whole process is quite fast)
To which I answer
- It seems that the form has not been send that's why it looks that way
- So... What an I supposed to do?
- click send
It took a while but the client replied
To this day I wonder how much time did the client stared at the form cursing the server.
A friend of mine who works in tech support at a college gets this call. The guy on the other end (a college professor) asks how to open an application on his computer.
Tech Support: "There should be an icon on your desktop."
He then hears this strange rustling noise over the phone.....
Tech Support: "What are you doing?"
Professor: "You said to look on my desktop."
Tech Support: "Ummm, hang on. I'll be there in a few minutes."
This will definitely trigger some people.
New smartphone releases aren't 'tech news'.
An implementation of a technology ripped off from other devices (GPS, VR etc..) isn't 'tech news', it's just implementation of an existing technology.
So please, everyone who reads the self-called 'tech news' to look for a new phone release to waste money on - stop calling yourself a 'tech geek' - "Oh my god, I'm such a tech geek, it's embarrassing - this new iPhone was released and I just couldn't wait to get spend my money on it".
Just shut the fuck up - you are willingly dragging a tracking device everywhere you go and you are PAYING for it to look cool and be full of features you won't even fucking use.12
Don't ever talk to non-tech people about tech. It'll fuck up your mood.
I've talked to a non-tech person lately, so...11
Yeey, my mom just called me that when I got home I'd have to fix the neighbour's TV. Because after 10 hours of school the only thing I want to do is fill in the role of a free tech support.3
Merriott got hacked. I know the head (and only) tech at a local hotel/resort that just got bought and turned into a Margaritaville, so I checked in with him to see if he needed any help or advice or anything, and he said he hasn't slept since the attack and probably won't for another week. Everything's on lockdown, he's been staring at the firewall monitor and public PC feeds for like a week straight...
God, I feel bad for this man.2
Do you folks listen to podcasts? What are your favorite ones? The ones I listen to weekly are Geekrant, Linux Gamecast Weekly, and Linux Weekly Daily Wednesdays (done by the LGC group). I'm looking for more tech related ones, though.7
At my previous job I used to deal directly with a client. This client wasn't particularly tech savvy although he was the head of IT department.
During the beta testing phase of the project. The client would regularly send me emails with snapshots of his laptop with application open accompanied by some amount of text to explain what the error/problem he was facing.
One fine day I got an email with a very wierd error. It was a module for attendance of employees based on which salaries were calculated. The mail had a snapshot and some text saying that he was unable to see the attendance for the dates 22, 23, 24 and so on...
I immediately replied with a snapshot of the calendar highlighting the date, which was the 21st of the month. Those attendance are empty because they haven't been marked yet.
No reply untill the next day with more "errors" 😂2
Never knew words like “API” “PHP” “Backend Server” “Objective C” “C++” “Java” can be such a turn on when coming out of a female’s mouth in a meaningful order...
A friend sent me this message today: Hey, I have a great idea! An app that remembers your address so that when you are buying something online you don't have to type in your address.
Me: - (giggling)
Me: That's a great idea! I use it everyday. It's called Google Chrome!5
What do you think about ageism in the tech industry? I see articles where Facebook/Google pride themselves that their employee median age is not over 30. Why is that of any importance? Is it hard for seasoned developers to find a job or adapt to the "youth culture" in tech companies? Any of you felt bullied by your younger colleagues? Finally, will this change in the next 10 years since developers in their 20s will be approaching their 40s, or once they reach that age they will go to the special developer graveyard and commit harikiri?5
Best xp : dev on new tech
Worst xp : being pressured to deliver something out of that new tech over a very short period1
How often do women bring up their own gender in tech interviews? I've never done it, and I've never interviewed anyone, but I'm curious about whether it's ever explicitly mentioned (beyond a, "I'm in a women in tech group" or "I mentor young girls in my free time").
I don't want to start any debates. Just curious about what people on the Other Side of the Table see.20
Any one else’s kinda enjoy the process of removing tech debt? always thought it felt good to rip out old shit to put in shiny new shit4
I'm of Indian descent and I just stepped into a meeting where some American project managers couldn't understand tech support 's accent. it wasn't them though, because I couldn't understand the guy's thick Indian accent either.2
I study and work as a tech support guy in a company and the head of Android development wanted to speak to me : want to help us with some changes in the app? Now I am a junior Android developer. Not even mad 🤔3
Today in the tech store I asked an assistant where to find the CAT6 ethernet cables.
He said he didn't know and ended up in asking me for technical support.4
Working in a tech company as a project manager, the CEO asked me: a client requested to code the frontend with something call active java, are you familiar with it?
Me: well, it must be a new tech.."searched online..", no results found.
After calling the client, he was asking about React native.🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
I finally got a job at a tech company (although it's not a tech job) with a very good work/life balance.
Therefore, I plan on getting more serious about properly learning how to program in my spare time, also because, being a tech company, programmers are all over the place and are generally willing to talk about code.
I must say that while job hunting, devRant has been very useful to me since it allowed me to understand what kind of environment I'd like to work in. So far, the first few weeks of work have been great.
Ah, and the view from the office is unbeatable.7
Printer cable 20 years old, I miss you.
You remind when I was young, I used windows 98 and I do not know linux1
We should not tolerate censorship.
Beyond all the u.s. hype over elections
(and the division in the west in general), the real story is all the censorship on both sides.
Reasonable voices are quickly banned, while violent voices and loud angry people are amplified.
I broke out of the left-right illusion when
I realized what this was all about. Why
so much fighting in the street was allowed, both
justified and unjustified. Why so much hate
and division and slander, and back and forth
was allowed to be spread.
It's problem, reaction, solution.
The old order of liberal democracy, represented
in the u.s. by the facade of the GOP and DNC,
doesn't know how to handle the free *distributed*
flow of information.
That free-flow of information has caused us to
transition to a *participatory* democracy, where
*networks* are the lever of power, rather than
top down institutions.
Consequently, the power in the *new era* is
to decide, not what the *narrative* is, but
who can even *participate*, in spreading,
ideating, and sharing their opinions on that
narrative, and more broadly, who is even allowed
to participate in society itself.
The u.s. and west wants the chinese model of
control in america. you are part of a network, a
collective, through services and software, and
you can be shut off from *society* itself at
the drop of a pin.
The only way they get that is by creating a crisis,
outright fighting in the streets. Thats why
people keep being released after committing serious
fucking crimes. It's why the DOJ and FBI are
intent on letting both sides people walk.
They want them at each others literal throat,
calling for each other's blood. All so they
can step back and then step in the middle when
the chorus for change cries out loud enough.
And the answer will be
1. regulated tech
2. an end to television media as we know it
3. the ability to shut someone off from any service on a dime
4. new hatespeech laws that will bite *all* sides in the ass.
5. the ability to shape the narrative of society by simply 'pruning' networks as they see fit, limiting the reach of individuals on all sides, who are problematic to
the collective direction.
I was so caught up in the illusion of us-vs-them I didn't
see it before now. This is a monstrous power grab.
And instead of focusing on a farce of election, where the party *organizations* involved are institutional facades for industrialists, we should be focusing on the real issue:
* Failure of law to do its job online, especially failures of slander and libel laws, failures of laws against conspiracy to commit crime or assault
* New laws that offer injunctive relief against censorship, now that tech really is the commons. Because whats worse than someone online whipping up a mob on either side, is
someone who is innocent being *silenced* for disagreeing with something someone in authority said, or for questioning a politician, party, or corporation.
* Very serious felony level laws against doxxing and harassment on all sides, with retroactive application of said laws because theres a lot of people on all sides who won't be satisfied with the outcome until people who are guilty are brought to justice.18
I think this a perfect anecdote of where tech is going nowadays:
I moved my bowels on one of those high-tech Japanese toilets: it allowed you to control the seat temperature, cleaned your butt with spray (with an additional "ladies" mode), had several modes of flushing (1, 2, and "eco"), automatically lifted and closed the lid, played some music for you, had a remote controller for you to flush your shit at a distance.
But, guess what, IT DIDN'T FLUSH SHIT. It pathetically trying to flush my shit with 1000 different kinds of puny jets and draining modes but my heap of shit always bounced back because its flush was so weak that it couldn't push it.
I don't care if the seat warmer went out of control and burned my ass or if the butt cleaning jet didn't reach my anus,
JUST DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO AND FLUSH MY SHIT.5
F*** companies that give you a coding project to work on and still haven't responded a month after submission. Tech interviews are so beyond f***ed.3
Title: Google can track your porn history, even in incognito mode
Body(tl;dr version): Pornsites use Google Analytics
You little idiotic motherfucking tech savvy wannabe, most of the websites use some form of user tracking services.
Hell, even the blog/news website you work for probably does.22
A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keeps quiet for the moment)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support: 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support: (hush hush)
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE <nosmoke> at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech: (hush hush)
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of the power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.3
So I have been a fly on the "wall" for last couple of months and never signed up, but now here I am!
Rant is about a serious topic - gender gap in tech industry!!
Couple of months ago Stackoverflow announced developer survey results! I was shocked by demographics results! It was disappointing to see biggest gender gap in general tech industry!
I believe tech industry can be the first one to have equal pay for women!
However.... (bad part)
I was going through my twitter feeds and saw this! Many of you have seen this tweet too.
(ohh!fuck I cant attach multiple images here, I should have created Medium post, fuck it!)
"They" continue, quoting from the tweet.
1)"....bias in society is reflected in AI"
2) "However, I do think it is our responsibility as designers/developers/users to be aware of this bias and do our best to correct it."
I want to rant about 2nd one. Some of you may not like it including grammar naziz!
As a developer/programmer I take 2nd one personally! I am currently at denial phase though!
And I have an OCD so gonna make points here!
1) Seriously tell me please, how the fuck you can write gender bias algorithm which can pass a big crazy amount of test suite?
2) Google has done many things for last decade to overcome gender gap related issues. I have met some of the nicest people from Google, and this is really hard for me to believe that google AI or that team has anything to do with the results!
3) Someone suggests use "they" in google translated result, can you fucking imagine how wrong that would be??? If I am developer working on that algo or even in that team and I see this ticket in jira with highest priority where it says, "make all translated results gender neutral using only they" - I would fucking like to die and may be in my next life ask me to do that, when I am a toddler!
4) I am an advocate for equal pay, equal rights and equal opportunities for everyone to "minify" this gender gap in tech, but showing google translate results of a gender natural language to make a point is wrong, it is simply undermining the efforts of something really helpful thing.
5) Moving on to the core point - What can be done to lower down the gender gap? I have seen amazing women who can code/manage far far far better than what I ever could imagine, and they are at really good place and deserve to be there. Are they doing enough to inspire other women to join tech industry?
Collective efforts are very much required. And need to keep in consideration that tech industry is highly competitive roles are also changing rapidly.
6) Many big companies have women at higher positions(CEO, CFO,....) what are their efforts to bring more women in tech industry?
(Some of you may not like this, as this is implying that it isn't only men's job. )
7) Going slightly political here, everyday we see really disappointing news related to women and their rights and health, I strongly believe women don't have to ask for or even have to mention about "equal rights" about anything. Everyone is equal!!!
This is 2017 and still fucked up!
Thats all for today! Heading for breakfast!24
Levels of tech awareness:
0: Doesnt use tech at all
1: Uses tech only for work
2: Uses it for films/gaming
3: Has alexa/google home
4: Uses smart home system
5: Has a loaded shotgun under the pillow, which is used to shoot the only piece of tech in the house (a printer from 2004) when it makes an unexpected noise!3
Started a new job and our tech lead doesn't know how to use GIT in a team environment, has only ever used it while working by himself on one person projects. Kinda worried...2
PEASANT POOR MAN'S TECH
ENLIGHTENED ELITE TECH
When an employee has a problem and calls tech support and you ask them to switch off their computer and they proceed to turning off the screen 😑1
Qt vs HTML5 everywhere, but not a single line of code in these blog posts about it.
Good job pseudo-tech-bloggers.🙄
And that comparsion. Qt vs Angular. What the fuck. Nobody uses fucken Angular.8
I always hear "its impossible to talk to tech people, its like they're from another planet". Well get used to it, cuz the nerds shall inherit the earth!!2
If you woke up tomorrow and it was the year 2000, but you only remembered tech stuff from the future. What would you do?11
Got my first real tech job today working as an on-campus computer resource assistant for my university's graduate school in education! Finally making a step in my career path and doing something I will enjoy for a change.1
Got convinced to work with a boss who seem to know it all in tech.
I honestly thought he knew tech, to code at least.
And then one day he referred to Java as the same as JavaSrcipt.
The Great Tech Resignation
maybe finally tech bubble will crash again and we will back to pen and paper13
Small update to this rant
A classmate of mine lend me his old laptop with an SSD and an HDD and I could install Ubuntu Budgie on it and use it while my laptop is under repairment. The thing is, this temporary laptop is pretty awesome and fast and the fact that I don't have to deal with all the NVidia proprietary drivers and other gaming laptop bs makes me pretty happy
Update to the story above: the HDD of the temporary laptop died (didn't have anything important on it, so no problem). But I must be going through some bad omen tech times, since, beside my laptop and this HDD dying, my cooking plate, inflatable mattress, some sockets and lightbulbs broke inside my apartment. Hail!
Scored another win as the family tech guy! I found out my wife's sister and her husband were storing all their passwords in a Excel spreadsheet. Long story short they are now using a password manager. 😁2
So now you can sent email straight in firstname.lastname@example.org
Special tech support for people, who leave 1star review
This isn't about dev, but is related as it was one of my first times seeing how tech could be abused or used in a creative way.
When I was a kid doorbell ditching was a thing. Also, flashing was a thing. Dudes would be naked in a trench coat and flash random people. The 80s was a strange time.
Anyway, my brothers liked to pull pranks. So they took apart a flashlight and mounted a switch into some wires to hold in their hand. They wore a trench coat, had all their clothes on, but wired the light part of the flashlight to their belt at about crotch level.
Then they went to houses at night, rang the doorbell. When people opened the door they flung open their trench coat and blinked the flash light a couple of times and ran away. Everybody in the neighborhood thought it was hilarious.
Ever since then I have had an interest in repurposing technology and code for fun things.1
Just visited my new office! Tech offices are the best IMO. Open office plan, fully stocked pantry, bean bags, and a lot of cool stuff. Wayyy better than my previous job where we literally had desks and a coffee machine.5
Remote work for me, but not for thee!
Google angers employees with 'hypocritical' remote work policies
Employees were already stirred up over opaque policies on remote work.
Then a senior executive announced he's moving to New Zealand in what some workers consider special treatment.
I feel very anxious when developers interviewing me asks
1. is nodejs single threaded or multithreaded ?
2. How does node handle requests
3. How do u manage concurrency
4. What is event emitter and callback.
Dude i have given you my resume, without knowing these things i could never do that ?
I feel the discussion must be based on concepts and general problem solving rather than focusing on one technology. Tech can always be learnt.6
!dev but tech related...
Got a device configured in a location that is fairly far away from me. It operates only through a cloud service specifically for these devices, with one of the most unreliable web interfaces and smartphone apps I have ever used.
I email my issues to the tech support who don't seem to understand the problems and can't fathom the difference between "reset settings" and "restart device".
Eventually they need to log in to my account to find out whats wrong. I explicitly state that under no circumstances should any settings be changed.
Today I find that the device has been removed from the cloud account. I physically must be near it to register it on the account again. Tech support don't seem to know what happened and the best explanation is that it is "a glitch". They have no way to add it back themselves. I have to travel to the device.
Funny how this happened after I let them access the account...
qberry1 [2:54 PM]
routers need to go on the technology list of shitty tech
qberry1 [3:04 PM]
working on a rant
may post it on devrant
Here is a list of technologies that I hate.
Can we not make a printer that isn't a POS? We've been making them for years and they still suck.
It is supposed to be convenient, but it never pairs when you want it to. It is always when you are driving and dont have time to mess with it that it doesn't work.
See above for details.
Can we not make a router that lasts longer than a year?
trying to think of more shit
lquessenberry [3:05 PM]
God Damn Laptop Hinges
On anything but MacBooks
qberry1 [3:05 PM]
what a load of shit
lquessenberry [3:09 PM]
Yeah fucking 48 bit napster mp3s sound better than Satellite radio
qberry1 [3:09 PM]
if i wanted to hear music that sounds like ballsack i'll go download it from napster
lquessenberry [3:09 PM]
qberry1 [3:09 PM]
lquessenberry [3:10 PM]
Fuck it dude, copy paste this convo as the rant
Oh dude and fucking self serve checkouts. Fuck that shit.
Who the fuck accepted this garbage copy pasted code all over the place?! Ah, it was our "tech lead", cool.1
> Work in the same tech company ever since 2017
> I have not taken a raise ever since 2019
> Asked for a raise this past November
> Got told it got approved in December
> Still no raise yet, almost 6 months later
> I know 3 more people who are waiting for their raise since November as well
> Internal company memo leaked stating that "we should freeze raises till June"
> All year we were told we are doing great
> Yearly bonuses got cut this year, we got told about it 10 days before the bonuses were supposed to be given
> Company is a shitshow internally, right now
> People are leaving left and right
> Management is completely useless at handling this current situation
I would leave too, but I have silently resigned and I just do the bare minimum from the work I have to do, so, even without the raise, I am making good money for the least amount of work.
If I ever get the raise, I am considering if I should demand to get the lost raise amount ever since December5
So according to my manager its not really acceptable for me to sit at my desk and vent about what a colossal idiot my Tech Lead is. Fair enough i suppose. even though he feels the need to chime in on every technical decision when he himself doesnt understand how async code works. he thinks you can set a variable inside a promise and then return that variable outside the promise, because its after the call. This guy is a senior software engineer on an iOS team and I, a trainee, have more iOS experience than him.2
Going back home for the holidays means becoming tech support for pretty much the whole family, unluckly.
As soon as I enter my grandparent's home, my grandpa says "Could you print some emails?". I open his laptop, and I start sweating as soon as I see the Windows XP logo popping up. He (obviously) doesn't remember his password, and the only way to access his (mostly defunct) web mail service is Outlook 2003. For some reason, the web mail provider's POP3 server dies, and i spend half an hour trying to explain it. I ended up leaving with him saying "Why are you even going to a computer engineering university."
Here’s my step-by-step guide for the idiot:
1) take <cutting-egde tech> (Tech)
2) read documentation for Tech
3) figure out what you want to do with Tech
4) if you are being ambitious, simplify the idea appropriately
5) Go do the thing with the Tech
6 When you fail at something, RTFM
7) Rinse and repeat2
People of devRant, how did you meet your spouse/partner, and what is their occupation?
I am just wondering how you get to actually meet people and create relationships while having an insanely intense tech career.35
Ugh fuck living in Australia trying to buy tech, wanted to treat myself and get a Skagen falser smartwatch. Nope, but we ship to the US...
Always having to pay extra for the same product, pissed me off when people were complaining that $60 is too much for a AAA game and here we are sitting at base of $100.
Can people start realising other countries want tech as well?
Every other Smartwatch other than ticwatch aren't available in Australia, I just want something minimal and with a metal body, fuck companies man -,-5
I'm sure every tech can relate when I say: "Do not! Interrupt! My weekend! With fucking! Tech issues! Thank you!".2
The technical incompentency of the people I try to help with their tech problems, is utterly astounding. Especially family members. For the love of God, if somebody is offering you tech support, put in at least some minimal degree of effort!
Why do tech impaired people always break their tech and they have "no idea" how it broke...
Seriously? What did you do? You know what you were doing? Were you touching random setting again? For fuck sakes just tell me. You've fucking it up 3 times this week already it's not like I don't know your an incompetent prick.4
Ahhhh, devRant, the last holy place where you can carelessly read without being flushed with fucking foodball news.
Only the tech thingies I like so much, all year long. Devrant, I love you!1
Non-tech: "You're really classy aren't you?"
Me: "Damn straight! Bet you'd like to define me."
My jokes are wasted :/1
Ok I need a second post for this week. A tech lead decided to have a one on one meeting with me in public on the clients' floor where he decided to get angry at me (in public mind you) about using too many design patterns and inheritance because that "makes the code too hard to read. Instead use a lot of if-else's like I do." So not just is he an idiot, he did this in public on a floor with people who didn't know programming so now I look awful. I was furious.2
Going to a tech conference in Paris(Devoxx) and the funnny the thing is you can spot tech guys in metro 🤣2
Tech management and leadership are the most toxic and cancerous folks of any organisation.
In all my past experience, I have encountered nut jobs.
If it were just me, then entire product or design org won't be suffering. What helps me confirm this hypothesis is every engineer who work for such retards is suffering and fighting for their existence.
We have monkey business going on with our CTO and his ass licking engineering head.
The best way to get funding from VCs now is to include the following words: ML, AI, IoT. To even blow their minds more, add Blockchain.2
Developers. !=. God's of tech
Do ppl really think we know every single big apps error codes?!?!
Isint tht Googles job, I Google errors and solutions every day for like 1015 times.
The company I work for now has so much tech debt. When I find an issue, I can’t necessarily fix it right away because I have other priorities. If something isn’t a site-breaking issue, then I only fix it when a user or staff member reports it.
The website is a mess because it was built and maintained by an outside dev agency. It was so expensive to outsource that my employer decided to bring development in-house.
That’s where I came in. I found so many issues. Tech debt. UX weirdness. Newish features that no one seemed to use. It goes on.
So I’m balancing new feature development, fixing bugs, and trying to lessen our tech debt. I’m a team of one.1
Assumptions are a terrible idea, yet I find myself making them all the time about other people. I am finding the very sobering reality about people who use technology vs people who create technology. The users have zero intellectual interest in how the technology accomplishes a task. While the creators get absorbed into the details and often relish in being able to maximize capability.
A point of frustration for me is users who are in a semi technical field yet take zero time to learn how to configure a piece of tech. They get a plug and play attitude and seek in panic when things don't work. The work is semi technical because they need to understand some of the fundamental physics involved to assess things using instrumentation. Yet when asked about a system they actively modify as to how it is normally setup they are clueless. Me, who helps write the software to control these devices, is stumped that they have zero interest (or capacity?) to understand how the system is normally configured. This is not the first time I have made assumption about what they know in technical contexts. I have run into this before with managers, but not with technicians.
How do you manage your expectations with people who won't invest any time into how their equipment actually works? How does someone operate that way to begin with? Where is their curiosity about how things work?
On the flip side, I swear at my fucking phone because I don't care how it works, but I just want it to stop doing everything besides being a phone... Fuck you, we are not the same, I think...3
Part of a little lecture I gave my boss this week: "... you really should stop taking things so casually and so for granted. ALL of this stuff is not just something you can summarize in a single vague word or phrase like "stuck" or "kick the tires" or whatnot. there's no "magic" to any of this. there's no buttons or knobs you just touch with one finger and stuff magically works. it's all way more complicated than you probably think, ALL the time. And making assumptions will always get us in trouble." (To a tech-illiterate boss who always uses vague verbage like "stick this on the server" and has no idea how anything works.)2
How to deal with a tech illiterate Karen-type client who uses tech related words even she/he don't even understand them?2
so I asked a question on linus tech tips discord channel that wasn't GPU related and the whole chat went quiet.
I mean, it's a tech channel are GPUs the only thing boys talk about now?
the new dicksize contest? lol12
i often do tech support in chat rooms in my free time (because i like spreading good will,) so here's a tech horror story
"hey, can you help me fix something?"
"so i dug my old XP machine out of my closet and replaced the bad Ethernet card with a different one and when i plug in the ethernet cable the PC bluescreens."
did you install the drivers? Sounds like it needs drivers
then install them
"it doesn't need any"
why do you say that?
"it said \"This device is set up and ready to use.\" in the balloon in the corner"
it has generic drivers to deal with devices before the real drivers can be found
"shouldn't they work?"
some devices need the extra support provided by the intended drivers, so the generic ones cause issues in those cases
"ok, well, where do I find them?"
do you have a model number?
"yes, it's " # scrubbed for... privacy? i dunno
gimme a few minutes
<insert 45 minutes of aggressive Googling for (str(DEVICE_MODEL_NUMBER) + " xp drivers")>
alright i have the drivers, go here:
# again, removed for... idk.
"they don't work"
# oh here we go
"These drivers are not compatible with your system architecture."
what version of XP are you using?
x86 or x64?
ok so this is gonna get real complicated real fast: use x86 XP or I can't help you, none exist for x64 XP.
<User left the IRC channel.>
Just finished watching "Halt and Catch Fire" on Netflix. If you haven't checked it out, you definitely should. It's about 80s tech disruptions. Also, any other suggestions for tech related TV series / movies? Silicon Valley, Mr. Robot etc.?8
WTF IS THIS? Been popping up all day.... I tried googling but official support says to uninstall Office and Visual Studios....
WTF MSFT!!!! Quite frankly it feels even tech support at tech companies aren't very competent.... just staffed by a bunch of call center monkeys?5
I fucking hate it when big companies release a video with the new tech they developed and they jerk off about the great discovery they made in video format.
I mean, they usually are great discoveries but the "verborragia" (a spanish portmanteau between verb and haemorrhage) is unsufferable.
I'm feeling this way specifically about the microsoft videos. "Just get to the goddamn fucking point. What did you fucking develop exactly?"
They usually go like this:
(Play sad reverbed piano)
Trees are life. Have you ever been a tree? Everyday thousands of trees are being torn apart from their daddy trees. When a tree is removed to be processed into paper, dozens of pretty little dwarves go homeless.
That's why at Microdick we are working on one of the most trascendental advancements of the 21st century.
We are working really hard to take into account every aspect of environmentability to bring humanity closer to what it is to feel like a tree.
We are pushing forward what it means to be a tech company today and we are finding new creative ways to inflate our ego, as a way to pretend we're not dying like the rest of normal human beings.4
Giving a short talk on technical debt at our monthly meeting tomorrow. I hope it helps people in my organization understand why we need to take care of all the quick and dirty work we do. I'm tired of people saying how long updates take and the reason is because we cause the problems.3
For those who get nervous when it comes to the technical interview, you should check out https://interviewing.io it allows you to practice the tech interview anonymously with developers from some of the bigger companies.1
Web developers, please recommend a tech stack. I have work experience in Laravel, Angular and Node Express. Personal small experience only for Vue and React.
Frontend: Angular, React or Vue?
Backend: Node Adonis JS or PHP Laravel?
CSS framework: Angular Material(angular), Material-UI, Tailwind CSS or Bootstrap?
This is for a personal project API based. What frontend backend tech stack are you using right now? Thanks!24
What i thought to be a cool company, turned out to be a shitshow.
Our "Team Lead" when assigning tasks keeps saying things like "it's only..." or "It's just..." or "You only need to change one line [there]..." And that's in regard to a terrible product with a pile of tech debt. So when you actually start to develop/fix things, you end up redoing third of the whole application.
How do you deal with this? How do you tell the "leader" that he should look into what we have in a code before making us all look bad for doing "just this one line change"?2
If you're into retro tech, and think "the uglier the better", the bloomberg computer is hot shit. Check it out.
Admitting a few things: I found myself ranting multiple times about multiple programming languages and how it's their fault things didn't go my way, I'd like to take the time to admit that I was wrong, not understanding the language was because of my lack of experience with it and patience to understand. So here's my two cents : if you're ranting about a programming language/ framework being bad, you're probably inexperienced and don't know how to use it right. I was retarded for blaming languages such as php and using typescript as being bad even though I was clearly inexperienced with them, sometimes I see a bunch of retards bashing great languages and libraries such as bootstrap, bitch if you can't manage to understand how to copy paste some css classes then you will probably never be able to write css and should consider working as truck driver. It's been a month now in my new company and my skill level has increased exponentially, we are almost ready to launch our app and I have in someway become super excited about learning new tech.5
Reporting server connection to database is down, probably due to a user access restriction.
reported the issue to the India sql datacenter and got back: Yes, We see that the connection is down. ( I sent them screenshot of it including the error message ) There is no such database available.
Me: Yes, well I'm in the db working right ( send screenshot) now.
India: ..... disappear offline.1
I didn't realise just how retarded people are when they call tech support.
Working combined line 1/2 tech support and people just describe shit in the most unhelpful way ever.2
That moment, in a meeting when you are trying to show a technical flaw in a manager idea... And suddenly you have a déjà vu moment from the "The Expert" comic sketch...
More tales from University Tech Support:
Haven't been able to get ahold of this staff member for weeks to do required maintenance. Emails, VMs, surprise office visits, she's never anywhere to be found.
Finally my boss emails her with the subject line "Free Money", and gives her some sass in the email about calling IT back.
Yeah, she responded in minutes...2
Whenever I feel down, I watch documentaries and movies related to tech. They bring back the motivation and spirit in me. :)2
okay just had a mind blown moment.
there are never 'technical errors'
everything is human error.
because at some point, a human started/caused whatever went wrong.
whether it was the fact that a human didn't account for something or made bad code, or made bad hardware,
every tech issue is a human one.
Halt and Catch Fire is having another great season. Lived those days and it is so true. CompuServe, Compaq, Commodore, 5 1/4", Tandy 1000, Byte Mag, Atari, The Well... The tech you see is really 1985ish. Attention to detail is appreciated by long time technologists.
H&CF is about building a tech business and much applies to today's startups. That two brilliant tech women are leading the charge adds to it. All the characters are great Cameron, Gordon, Donna, the devs at Mutiny and Joe channeling Jobs (in my opinion) is spot on.
Any H&CF fans have an opinion?4
Devs these days, go all fancy with tech, cutting edge Uber cool shiny toys for designing a system.
Right tool for the right job is a passé. Now, the more you stuff bleeding tech buzz words, the design attracts admiration from bewildered management. [QUOTE] Again, nothing is true, everything is permitted.
Common sense is the craft and simplicity is the soul of efficiency.5
Nothing worse that watching a tech talk where the presenter is accidentally condescending.
It's definitely a "know your audience" situation, but it's cringe worthy when explaining a really valuable topic.
Everytime i buy any electronics , my brother would suggest me to buy latest ones with the newest configuration . His logic was " If you buy a not-so new tech now.. It will outdate fast and you will end up with an outdated one soon.. So the extra 10K is worth considering that " .
Considering the development trend i personally think it is useless to invest in electronics unless necessary . Everytime i buy an electronic product , within 2 or 3 months i find the same good at almost 75% of the price.. So with tech prices falling like this.. i think it is worth saving that money instead of the cutting edge tech which i wont need for another 2 years .
(The cousin brother i mentioned does this everytime he buys a phone and ends up changing the phone 4 times faster than me.. and the use case is similar to mine if not worse..)1
Bad English aside I am so sick of incompetent customer service reps. Holy shit it's like they will hire anyone these days.
Here just read from this script and not the code version. That's all the tech you need to know right here on this single piece of paper.
Fucking incompetent bastards need to go work at a non technical job like Burger King because tech support is beyond them.
They'd probably fuck that up to. That's a completely different rant, those who can't even do fast food jobs right. At that point just go get on disability because your fucked.
To be fair I will occasionally get someone in the tech support sector who knows their shit but it's few and far between and its always a welcome surprise.12
Tales from University Tech Support:
Me: please send us 2 or 3 times you're available for us to troubleshoot that issue
Them: I'm available at 3:30
Obviously not a Math Major...
Tech people should have a codeword. So that I don't have to explain to every data provider showing off their own crappy limited analytics tool that "I do know what SQL means and I just need the ODBC user/pass, thanks".
I wish I could just say "hey, &0x00A0 = 1337;" out loud and he would be like "oh, thanks! I needed the break. Here is the ODBC crap, I'm gonna grab some coffee."5
Awsome feeling when you teach some one from non tech background about the tech jargons and they understand..1
Basic tech support scenario :
- hey I have some problems with my computer, could you come over here and help me?
- yeah I can't open my emails
Currently at Google Next. Enjoying my first tech conference / show.
Just felt like I should check in. What are you guys up to?
I could write a book on this (and I am) but long story short: contracts people that have no tech know how, don't get tech inputs, then get mad and convince managers it's all the tech people's fault when the contract bombs.
I've just started writing tech blog posts this weekend. Two posts baked by today, another one should be completed by tomorow eod :)
oh man... Apparently I like blogging :)4
Scheduled an on-site. *internal screaming*
Does anyone have any resources for studying distributed computing and operating system topics or have any pointers for studying for a systems design interview?
Also, how did y’all get comfortable with recursion? I don’t have issues with problems I already know the solutions to but it’s like when that’s not the case my brain just goes into panic mode for a bit.
Teach me your ways?7
From time to time our internet slows down to 10kbit and latency goes over 1000ms or just cuts out completely and everyone starts screaming at me to fix it, what am I?! The fucking ISP's tech. support?!!! When it goes down it goes down, I can't do anything about it, I keep reminding everyone to keep a copy of their stuff on the NAS so they have access to it when this happens, no one ever listens to me! The only person that uses the NAS is me...
A friend who's working as a contractor for a huge client decided to rewrite their interface cause it's old and not user friendly with new tech. Fast forward the client said it's not what they asked for, he should'nt have done that and they'll not be using it. He replied: "I've done it for myself to be up to date. I found a new company here's my resignation".1
I am talking with the tech lead for a solution he is proposing for the project.
I already finished coding it yesterday because of our "just deliver" culture. Our tech lead is opposing this culture. The deadline established by the manager is basically tomorrow.
Is this right approch for a tech lead? To oppose the management established deadline?5
my client has the most ridiculous tech stack for displaying an admin ui website I've ever seen.
* They have a mssql as db (on a separate machine)
* node js backend followed by a nuxt js backend (why???)
* then a nginx and on yet another server an apache8
It’s taken me 20 years to realize that I love tech but hate corporate IT. The thought of spending another 20+ years sitting in meetings listening to people drone on about nonsense, spending countless hours performing system upgrades when all I want to do is code, etc. just makes me sick to my stomach. It’s the same day over and over again.2
I don't get it.
The job listing is for a developer. I applied as a developer.
Why do they ask me whether I'd be willing to do tech support? What's their motive?6
Me: Hey, that modification though it will fix the issue, it will add a lot of tech debt in the future.
Lead CoWorker: We'll take care of that when that happens.
Guess who's fixing that TODAY?
I just got a mail from our universities tech support for a ticket I openend a fucking year ago... They didn't respond for a whole year and are now working on it?
One year ago I had problems connecting to eduroam on my Linux machine. No matter what settings I tried I never got it to work.
So I decided to open a ticket at my universities tech support. Fairly fast they answered me and tried to find what the problem was. Somehow only half my username made it to their server which means their is no way I can log in.
The conversation went on for a few mails but we never managed to solve the problem...
Now after one year they send me a mail stating that I can call them if I still have this problem.
Wtf? Who answeres to a ticket from one year ago? Why is the ticket still open? Did they work on it or just randomly decide to reply to old mails? Why didn't they write anything in the meantime?2
After weeks of constant rush, I finally managed to have one week dedicated entirely to reduce Tech Debt.
It felt so good to close all these todos, finally write those tests, that documentation :)1
Can anyone suggest good software or technology related movies and series ? Bored .. this series are one of my inspiration which shows high rated technology stuff , like future tech n all ...lol..thanx9
What's a good website to get tech news and help me stay up to date? I'm interning for a company and most times I get lost when they start discussing new tech I've never even heard about.9
I hate when my coworkers that work at call centre think programmers can be summoned to fix printer or PC in company. We have tech support for that.
I can fix the damn printer if I need to but dude dont go in like a stampedo of angry bulls.
My boss saw this and placed the do not disturb sticker on door of our section.
Who here has an S/O that is in the tech field with them? Have you ever experienced the bliss of tech talks with someone that you relate to on a romantic level?3
I had to contact my ISP's tech support because I suddenly lost my Internet connection. I explained to the guy who answered that my router was working fine, and that my devices could connect to my WiFi network, but they didn't have Internet access.
He was so confused because he didn't understand that WiFi and the Internet are not the same thing. He then made me reboot my router and reset my configuration (like I hadn't done that before) and eventually ran out of ideas and scheduled a technician to visit my house next week. What a moron
Any of you are annoyed by your non-technical manager work practices?
Every release I feel like our manager's goal is to have our planning and results look good in front of higher management, no matter if it is true or not.
Oh this big task could not be done because we had to plan 4 months in advance with no info and poorly done requirements? Well let's just push it to the next release we can't have unfinished tasks logged in.
Oh we don't have time to work on tech debt and refactoring, there are too many features and bugfixes to do. Well maybe that is why there are so many bugs, eh?
Oh your automated test results need to all look perfect, does not matter if your test are even good or actually doing anything in the first place, as long as it passes.
Also, I was promised agile and got a waterfall-like bullshit process instead that barely works.
Anyways just morning rambling.1
We have come a loooong way in tech. Thanks tech ancestors!
I do have one name on the top of my head.. thanks Mr. Turing!
!Rant && !Tech
Anybody try to memorize anything large? I am thinking about memorizing books just to do it, and to prove to myself that referencing crap isn't required all the time. Might be interesting.
Posting here because I want my community's opinion on the value/nature of the question.3
Slept for a bare total of 10 hours in the last three days, preparing, organising and headlining a Developer centric event with tech talks and Codelabs on Kotlin and ES6 at my university with just 3 active team members.
Professor incharge comes, fucks shit up, changed the ending note summary and sent it to the reporting authorities without my knowledge.
Now I am being asked why the actual event and the proposed agenda don't match.
Fuck shitty teachers who don't know what they're doing. 😑
Do you all sometimes have this strange feeling, that.. actually humanity would not lose anything, if we killed all that useless tech we earn our money with?
Yeah, we get all that propaganda how technical prowess is empowering and sure we all know it's a nice feeling if you can apply the right clicks and bit flips to make the machine do as you want so you feel like the apprentice's sorcerer.
BUT even if you believe your user story adds some business value to some abstract package - what do these devices mostly do? Distract, diffuse your focus, envy other eye-porn provider, endless aberration of clips.
Fuck social media!
(Yes, I know I am on one, but this is because I haven't given up hope on this one.)6
Part of my remote work is to have a daily call reporting in on what I have done yesterday and what I am about to today. My colleague calls me for it. She's hired as a tech support and is suddenly assigned to take note and report on my work activities to our boss. Several times, I caught her pretending to know what I'm talking about like with Puppet configurations, Firewall diagnosis packets, ActiveMQ, Regex, etc. Most of the time, I just let it go as its not my job to validate her knowledge on these different but many services. Just do the call, get the report in, carry on. How difficult was that?
Yesterday, our call was left sour because I somehow blew up. I think I've reached my patience with this woman's assumptions to how these services work. Now I feel guilty for yelling at a lady but goddamn she stoopid for fibbing through my ear. Somebody help! What do I do?
If I report to our boss about her technical incompetence (politely), she might get sacked. She's a good tech support as long as she still has her trusty manuals by her, she can fix specific problems. But when it comes to unknown tech to her, she assumed she knew.
If I tell her about her weaknesses, however constructive I can get and as politely as I can get, all the while complimenting something about her, showing her how to improve herself, maybe she'll do better not to ask silly questions like buying a Puppet certificate? At least getting rid of ignorance would definitely help but not sure how she would take it. The worst thing I would imagine is her backfiring and yelling at me and then we ended up fighting.
If I kept quiet and tuck it all into a can, it will eventually implode as we go on.
This is not about her gender. I don't see her as a woman. I see her as a tech support engineer who should know her stuff.1
Is it too much to ask for a tech lead who knows how to code a web app and knows SQL? We're a SaaS startup btw1
I gave computer tech support to a tech support person.
I don't know how I feel about this...
Like, Yo dawg, I heard you like tech support, so I gave tech support to tech support.
Our college would be organising a tech fest soon. Any ideas on the kind of questions (related to tech) that we can include?7
What is the tech stack used to build this...
To my best knowledge, you guys are using DigitalOcean and Shopify, what else do you use?
What is the language, server is based on?2
How to get cheap engagement for your shitty tech website:
- write an article about Android vs iOS (even better if you state that one is better than the other justifying that with very vague points)
- share it on Facebook where hordes of people with their brain stuck in early teenage years will fiercely fight for their mobile platform of choice
Last night I came back from work completely drained, as usual, and thought to myself - "I'll just lie down for a second..." Next thing my alarm wakes me up 12 hours later - "What the... Again?!?"
It was just my biannual collapse from exhaustion. Now I'm good to go for at least six more months. Yay...
This is what happens when you have been working only on "critical" and "we have to do this or the company sinks" projects (are there any other kinds anyway?) for the past 10 years with NO rest between jobs and NO leisure vacations taken...
Funnily enough, this event coincides with my futile biannual introspective analysis on things I did wrong in my life.
Now back to saving the company...2
Why there's so much hate on Joma Tech? I mean, my reaction to his content is somewhat neutral, he has better and worse videos, but there's some controversy around him I believe I'm missing. Why is he considered a fraud/sellout/whatever? I have only seen like 4-5 videos he made and I don't know if he's done anything that deserves hate4
If there is tech support that is just plain awesome, it these:
The ones that are meh include:
new Rant("cartoon ep2");
// family tech support
My dad asked for help. His External HDD got corrupted. When will they ever learn? I'm teaching him to use a cloud storage right now.1
Does anyone like being the "tech support" at work. Like helping people when they cant send a basic email?7
Theres a kid competicion on infocmatics, I will take part of. I have built a compiler, and wanted to have an eye catcher for my project-presentationstable. Any good Ideas? IT schould be understandable by non-tech people3
Like collabs, we should have a new section for only technical discussions about anything like common practices, is there a better way to do this, how's the new tech, general discussions about a library or language etc.
I'm not much interested in the jokes and that's all I see in my feed. Not that I hate that aspect but I prefer more of the tech talk.
Who's with me?5
Better get started...oh look at this shiny new piece of tech. 3 days later with evaluation done on each usable tech alternative crunch the solution together in record time with tech most similar to your previous one.
If you come to me asking for help about why my tools aren't working or other tech support questions I will immediately assume whatever info you tell me is wrong.
Twice now I've high leveled automated software testing to people not in tech and they actually get the benefits quicker than some tech managers.....
Tech Lead: I looked at their API code, their devs are so smart. They wrote the whole thing in three lines.
Me: I bet it's super readable!
Tech lead: that doesn't matter they are really smart.
Me: I'm sure they are ... 😒1
I go through cycles of what I want to work on during my off time. Sometimes I code utilities for video games. Other times I get engrossed in games. One of the games I like to play is Minecraft. Not vanilla Minecraft, but modded Minecraft. It scratches that itch for creativity, fun, relaxing, hanging with people, and technical interest. I am currently playing a medium sized older modpack that has most of the mods I like to play: magic, tech, building tools, dimension building and more.
I am early game on a server with some other people. I already overloaded the server with a population explosion of villagers I am melting down for emeralds. That was interesting. I started automating this and decided to try using ComputerCraft to automate some pieces of this. I stared at the code and just "no, I am not working on my off time". I am going to automate this another way. I used to really like computercraft, but it was code and looked like work. I find that interesting.
Anyway, this is random ass shit I do for fun. Wood house/shack, workroom and ore processing are with no walls, decent small tree farm, and a nuclear reactor in the basement...2
What do you guys think of the Adobe's new "Photoshop" on voice technology?
It's innovative, but I understand it's benefit other than heavy potential misuse it can used for.
See the video: https://twitter.com/ziyatong/...
RIP voice over artists and impressionists, it looks like your job is gone.1
Am I allowed to ask tech questions? Because I can't get my fucking Acer to dual boot a Linux distribution. Tried mint and lxle. Both require I go into legacy mode to boot them from USB, so I can't install them that way... Any ideas?7
Share with us your favourite tech podcast, mine are :
Software Engineering Daily
Soft Skills Engineering3
Quick Question Please.
For those of us who are in a dating relationship, how do you handle dating (someone you are sure you will want to get married to), tight work schedule and learning new things about tech???10
So I've been looking for a job in tech but outside the development and coding, but still in the tech niche, something like tech sales if its even a thing, however I've yet to find something like this that isn't either an old post or expired already, or asking for way too much experience, so any recommendations will be much appreciated.
Thanks in advance,4
Indian tech support just one-uped itself. They're now a web / app development agency.
Why would I even need that? I'm a goddamn webdev myself! They even said they knew that.
For fuck's sake.
'Tech debt' is the word that every CEO hates to hear during roadmap review.
Instead, talk about how certain part of the code will drastically slow down future development, make it more difficult to troubleshoot, and reduce engineering happiness overall.1
Where do you guys get your daily news about Tech, IT, Dev Related things?
I want something with push notifications and just serious sources without bullshit infos.9
As the end of the decade is a week away.
I was wondering what would the tech predictions for the next decade would be?
It can be anything *as long as* it's tech related (e.g. computer languages, frameworks/libs, tools, processes, techniques, ...).
Remember to keep the thread civil and if someone already commented something you were about to comment, upvote their suggestion.17
If you were to start making a lightweight, fast, multiplatform client app, architecturally clean and simple, with as little of the JS(style) libraries and packages and transpilers and weird convoluted and/or unpleasant syntax trends like JS or flutter...
ideally (or at least minimally) something at least as straightforward as making a WinForms app in C#
...what language/tool/platform/tech stack would you choose?
...asking for a friend with totally not an absolutely cool idea that needs to exist.11
I was watching an Ancient Aliens episode called "Beyond Roswell". The show described the idea of some of our tech being seeded slowly by introducing alien technology to specific companies. They suggested that computing technology has advanced very fast and introducing this tech could be part of that.
At first I was kinda pissed about this. I have read about the creation of the first transistor back in the 40s or 50s. WWII really advanced our need for computing devices such as what Turing built. Then I realized a lot of the explosion of computer tech did occur after key ET events. This kind of made me wonder how much is "us" and how much is ET tech. I also realized it can take a lot of effort to understand something really advanced. So reverse engineering can take a LOT of effort to figure these things out. Being seeded by external tech does not take away from humans at all.
A parallel to this is a programmer that learns how to use a C++ compiler. They could go their whole career without ever understanding how the compiler itself is doing its job. I find myself wanting to learn how compilers work and started down this path. I look at the simple grammar I have learned to parse. Then I look at the C++ grammar and think "How can I ever learn to do that?" So I see us viewing potentially advanced things and wondering how the heck can we ever learn to do that. The common reaction when faced with such tech would be disbelief and in some cases ridiculing the messenger. When I was a kid the idea of sending a picture over a phone was laughable. Now this is common and expected. It was literally a scifi concept when I was a kid.
So, back to the alien tech. I am now thinking it would be cool to be working with alien technology through computing. This is like scifi stuff now! So what if what we have was not all invented here (Earth). If anything this will prepare us programmers to get jobs working for alien corporations writing ship level programs and brain interfaces. Think of it as intergalactic resume building. 😉
What is the Hot Tech (Best Emerging Technology) of this generation?
Machine Learning, Internet of Things, Big Data, Android development.6
If you're a SaaS developer, what free serverless tiers have you found being good for implementing quickly business ideas? And on which tech stack they rely on?1
My first tech blog about an issue I faced with arch. Your inputs please !
I am in the crossroads of how to answer a question "How do you see yourself after 5 years time?". And I honestly have a difficult time deciding which path I should be striving for. How and which point does a software developer decide what steps to make to achieve next role? Are here devs who went from a software dev to 1) Tech lead 2) Manager 3) Contractor. Could you tell your story and what did you do if you did it on purpose? Or maybe how did you got better? Books? People? Forums?
I’m swinging by SF early next month. Any cool meet ups or things to do that people recommend? Obviously will use meetup.com etc but don’t want to miss out on some local knowledge!
I’m a laravel dev by trade but love React, Vue, RoR, and am interested in machine learning, legal tech, and decent beer/chat.
What are some good tv shows and or movies that are either directly related to the tech industry or at least scratch the surface? This could also include documentaries.
The more I get into learning to code the more I want to immerse myself into the culture of it all. Plus it helps inspire me to keep going on my journey which hasn't been easy so far.17
As a student still in high school, I hate seeing other teenagers throwing their phones across the campus onto grass or in class throwing them on the floor, it's such a disrespect for technology. I personally feel with how much technology is around everyone daily we become desensitized to how wonderful and extraordinary tech is. That's one reason I am a developer1
Idiots in my team
1) Fullstack : ask's way too many questions.
2) Tech manager - knows nothing about management
3) backend : assumes he know's everything and when asked says he know's nothing
kudos for the tech-staff of the digital congress ot-world.connect for explaining how things work to all the non-tech speakers over and over again.
Do you like tech? This is for you!
Listen to the TechWiz Announcment by Joshua Rieth (Bobj2008) #np on #SoundCloud