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Search - "friend"
-
Friend: I hate my new OnePlus 6. It's really slow and hangs a lot
Me: I can't believe
Friend: Use it yourself, you'll know.
*Me using his phone
*Realising it was really slow
*Checking his installed apps
- CCleaner
-DU Booster
-Antivirus free version
-Antivirus pro
-Antivirus ultimate
-Battery Saver
-App Booster
-Super Cleaner
-RAM Master
*poured poision in his coffee
*enjoyed watching him die slowly37 -
Last time, my friend said CSS stands for
"Custom Sexy Styles" (dig into my older rants)
This time, he said
"Centering Somewhat Sucks"
Now he knows the deal.12 -
Friend: What's your favorite language?
Me: Javascript.
Friend: But it isn't a programming language.
Me: *throws keyboard at her face*30 -
Me: You know what my least favorite programming language is?
Friend: HTML?
Me: No that's not a programming language
Friend: ohh haha I forgot its like Pluto20 -
The most absurd thing that I heard today ,
Me: open this XYZ.com
Friend: Should I open it in chrome or in Google.
Me: (Speechless)
Ironically he is a cs student.
Thx devrant.16 -
Friend: How much do you charge for a website?
Me: Depends, what do you need?
Friend: Just a basic website.
Me: I am going to need more details than that, is it static HTML site? Do you want to be able to add content yourself? Do you have hosting? Do you....
Friend: Dude, just give me a rough estimate.
Me: But...
Friend: It's for a friend, he has an idea for a business.
Me: ...fine...$100 million 👿
//Because making a website is just a push of a button to some people21 -
Friend: Dude, css is so cool and amazing. I love it
Me: Erm ye, okay...
Friend: I think, im gonna make a css program to save data to database. That would make it even cooler!
Me: ye, okay. Wait what?! Hahahahaha
Friend: ??? Why u laughing13 -
My friend: OMG OMG OMG My laptop is dead!
Me: What do you mean it's dead? It doesn't even turn on?
My friend: Nooo, it does nothing?
Me: Are you sure it's plugged in?
My friend: Yesss
Me: You sure?
My friend: Yess, it's actually plugged into a multiple socket thingy...
Me: And that thing is plugged in to the wall..?
My friend: Well duh!
Me: And did you turn the switch on?
My friend: Of course I....oh, wait!! Never mind!!!!!
Me: >:/5 -
Non dev friend: Do you know “hatamal”?
Me: wtf is hatamal?
Non dev friend: hatamal. Spelled as HTML.
Me: T.T12 -
A friend of mine: Look at this nice app I made 😎
*shows me a normal looking app with tabs and different views"
Me: Hmmm… looks good.
Friend: Do you know how I made the navigation between views? 😏
Me: I'm afraid to ask…
Friend: Since I didn't know how to use the piece of code I found on internet, I made multiple views one above another with visibility set to false, and during the navigation I just change the visibility. 😁
Me: WTF? Man… this isn't something you should be proud of… it shouldn't be done.
Friend: Do you also want to know how I backup the code?
Me: No…
Friend: I send it to myself via email.
Me: FUCK!
Friend: I also never use while loops, I prefer to use for instead with a break inside. 😊
*blocked*17 -
This is Why I give IT support so much respect.
Friend: my computer stopped working can you help?
Me: (porn...again) fine I'll help.
Friend: come over when your ready
Me: Be there tomorrow bro
Next day.....
Me: where is your desktop
Friend: upstairs, I tried everything man
Me: look at the monitor... look at the hp piece of shit.. see green light on... look back at the monitor...no light... look at my friend.
Friend: 😕
Me:😪
Friend:😳
Me: look behind the desk...
Friend: 😰
Me: 😪your monitor is unplugged
Friend: 😅
Me: fuck you lose my number4 -
girl friend: What kind of stripper would you want for a Bachelorette party?!?
me: no stripper...
girl friend: like a coding stripper?
me: what?
girl friend: he'd come out and be like, one zero one one zero one...
me: I love that you think I code in binary hahaha
girl friend: like the matrix!
me:
*pauses*
*contemplates explaining what binary is*
yes, like the matrix
:D6 -
Friend: Hey, I managed to build my own UI.
Me: That's great, which programming language did you use?
Friend: Filezilla.
Me: No, I mean the language. The language you code in to build your UI ?
Friend: Notepad ++
KILL ME.9 -
Tech support to my friend:
Friend: Root my phone!
Me: why
Friend: play store is not working
Me: why do u want to root for that?
Friend: is there any other option?
Me: give me ur phone
After 20 sec ...
Me: Sign in to ur Google account 😐😐3 -
My friend just made an awkward joke
Me: I couldn't get Postgres working on ubuntu
Friend: How bout installing GET-gres
Me: (awkward silence)7 -
Friend: So, you can program
Me: Yeah
Friend: nice, can you hack a Facebook profile?
Every.
Fucking.
Times.8 -
Me to my friend into coding : Hey! I’m finally learning to code at university!
Friend : Nice! Never Forget array start at 0. Which language are you learning?
Me: Matlab
Friend : I don’t know you13 -
Friend: Atom
Me: Vs Code
Friend: Light theme
Me: Dark theme
Friend: I believe there's some kind of energy that rules our destiny.
Me: Haha, seriously, no
Friend: (Starts telling me about some proposal of how he's going to build something).
Me: Yeah that's not going to work.
Friend: (Gets angry and proceeds to explain his idea on a whiteboard)
Me: Ahhhh yeah, sure it looks great
Friend: Dammit!!
Me: (I start telling him about some proposal of how I'm going to build something).
Friend: Yeah that's not going to work.
Me: (I get angry and proceed to explain my idea on a whiteboard)
Friend: Ahhhh yeah, sure it looks great.
Me: Dammit!!
If we didn't have such a solid friendship, I think we'd hate each other by now hahaha15 -
Friend(non dev): Hey. Do you know how much it costs to maintain an app?
Me : Well that depends. What are you planning to do?
Friend: Something like Trivago. But small.
Me: That still doesn't tell me anything
Friend: Come on. Just give a number. How hard can it be?
Me: 42. *facepalm*
Friend: See wasn't that hard. Was it?
Me: *thinking* Don't correct him. Just let him be.19 -
Friend: You are a programmer, right?
Me: Yes...
Friend: I have a idea how we can become rich
Me: *not again*
Me: Ok tell me
Friend: Look, it is almost like Facebook, but...7 -
Friend: "You are good with computers right?"
Me: "Yes...."
Friend: "Can you put an eye on my computer? Mint crash at every startup"
Me: (Oh Linux! For this time ok) "Yeah, show me"
My friend open the pc...
Pc: "KERNEL PAAAAANIC!"
Me: ".... WTF!?"
Friend: "Can you repair this?"
Me: (shit.)
That was a long day...
(My friend closed the lid without the drivers and then the pc from the standby did not wake up correctly)6 -
Friend: Is blockchain a programming language?
Me: No it's a java framework
Friend: Ah, thanks for clarification.6 -
Today at class
CS Friend : "Why is your Windows looks different?"
Me : " Oh its not Windows, im running Linux"
CS Friend : " What is Linux?"
Me : "..." smh8 -
Friend: Your job is so easy. I just made a website in 15 mins.
Me: oh ok. Show me.
Friend: mynewwebsite.blogspot.com
Me: (facepalm)3 -
*my friends wanted to learn how to use linux*
My friend: "So, how do you edit this file ?"
Me: "Use Vim" *sadistic smile*8 -
Friend: So you're like a Developer right? Specifically using JavaScript?
Me: I mean...kinda? Pretty Noobish still...
Friend: But you could like show a buddy of mine some basics right?
Me (thinking to myself...the best way to test your knowledge is to teach it...): well...sure...
Friend: Great here is their info!
*Drives an hour away*
*sits down with this friend of a friend*
*busts out laptop*
Friend of friend: So how long have you been a Java Developer?
Me: -_- oh fuck...
*head desk*15 -
I get depressed during times like this.
Me: *does a keyboard shortcut*
Friend: Woaw, are you good on computers?
Me: yea.
Friend: CAN YOU HACK?
Me: yea...
Friend: WHATS MY PASSWORD?
Me: I don't know your password.
Friend: You can't hack then.9 -
##REAL STORY##
Friend: Hey there, I have a Java Exam after one hour and I have a question for you.
Me: Great ! How can I help
F: They will give us a problem and ask us to solve it by writing a Java code.
Me: Okay,
F: That's it.
Me: Good, so were's the question.
F: Come on, of course I want to know how to solve it.
Me: Absolute Silence.
Me: friendsList.removeAll();10 -
Me and a friend are having a bite and drink in a park.
Friend takes a picture of the donut he bought to send it to a friend. The picture takes a really long time to send so I ask how big the picture is (obviously as in size (KB/MB) and he's an it guy/programmer as well).
Friend: uhm, the donut is... Idk... *shows size with hands* this big?
Me: *facepalm*
Friend: oh, that size 😅3 -
Response time of different people on Whatsapp:
Best Friend: 5-10 sec
Friend: 1-2 min
Best Friend(Girl): 3-5 min
Girl Friend: 1-2 day 😢
Client(when me solving bug): 0.00005 sec
Client(when me asking payment): *Blocked*
😕😕😕😕😕7 -
friend: what are those lines on your screen
me: programming
friend: but like don't you program it
me: yeah but I have to write it
friend: but like don't you have to program the lines
That's when I quit trying to explain it5 -
Friend: Can u get me Linux OS on this pendrive?
Me: sure, Ubuntu would do?
Friend: Don't u have Linux?
Me: *facepalm*13 -
Friend: My other friend said he hacked into the Pentagon, can you do it?
Me: ummm No
Friend: So you are not really a good developer then?
Me: ummm No...I guess
Friend: well I'm hanging out with that guy then, he is showing me ways to make hundreds of $ a day online.
Me: sigh...5 -
Friend: can you take a look at me code?
Me: sure, it's all shit!
Friend: You didn't even look!?
Me: did you write the code?
Friend: yes...
Me: well, I don't have to look, I can smell ur shitty code!5 -
Friend: "what is it that you do?"
Me: "mostly web development, I make websites"
Ex-friend: "oh web design, nice"
Me: ...5 -
Friend: "Wow! Is it a Raspberry PI?"
Me: "It's another version called Banana, but yes."
Friend: "I want one too for the games!"
Me: "OK, it's easy. There's a ROM called Retro ..."
Friend stare at me intensively
Me: "Sigh... Ok, I'll setup it for you..."7 -
Didn't want to post it as there's been already a lot of posts like this. But I just can't help myself to rant over this. This happened yesterday. I helped him earlier with his phone.
Friend of my dad: Hey, I need your help with my laptop I bought from eBay.
Me: *flashbacks of devRant posts*
Him: Everything works. It's just that nothing comes up in display.
Me: Okay, you need to take that to a repair shop. If at least something came up on screen I could help.
Him: Aren't you a computer engineer? I bought this because I knew you can fix it.
Me: *more flashbacks*
Him: You gotta help me with this. I can't lose money on this
Me: You didn't even ask me anything before buying. Ask your buyer if they have a 30 day return policy.
Him: Why are paying this much to study Computer Engineering? I'll talk to your dad.
This people man. I told my dad and he never received his call anymore7 -
I'm helping a friend with programming in c#
He's a beginner and wants to learn. He learns as easy as I do.
I saw his project yesterday and everything was written in one method. I thought I was dying. Then remembered my first project... he will be fine3 -
Friend: i need to do a game for my final project, can you help me out?
Me: sure, what language?
Friend: english
Me: ...2 -
Friend: "your game design is not professional enough"
Me: Hold my beer.
[End Result : https://imgur.com/a/ZDLDQ]
Friend: "How the fuck?"15 -
Friend: So what's the plan for Christmas
Me: Nothing much just coding
Friend: No apart from work
Me: Yeah coding
Friend: That means, you not getting drunk or laid this Christmas
Me: No, because I can't C Sharp when coding
Friend: Fuck developers2 -
Me *shows friend website hosted on Ubuntu VPS*
Friend: You using UBLUNTOOTH?
Me: Excuse me? This is going on devRant.6 -
I had a friend whom I met in an open-source community. We hadn't been in touch for a while because of the distances of where we were. Coincidentally, we happened to be working in the same city. When we knew that we were in the same city, we decided to meet and catch up. We met over dinner and this person went on and on about his company and how cool the culture was there.
Towards the end, I jokingly said, "If your company is so cool, why don't you get me a job there?"
2 weeks later, he sends me an email address and asks me to send my resume to it.
1 more week later, HR from the company calls and asks whether I can come to office to chat.
I agree and head over there over lunch break. I _speak_ to the person who was going to be my manager and later to the CTO. The CTO asks me a few technological questions and sends me off.
1 week later, I call up HR just to know how I fared in the interview. They say that they'll give me an update within the week.
Next week I get a call from HR asking when I can join. Could I join with 2 weeks of notice period? I could try, the pay was almost double that I was already earning.
I speak to my existing boss about the offer and they offer me an immediate hike of 30%. That gives me a notion that I was already under-paid. I wouldn't want to continue working with an employer who knowingly paid me low (even though I was content with what I was getting already). I make my decision to quit. Puts in my 2-week notice period and join the new company on the said date.15 -
My friend write to me
Friend : Hi my PC is broken
Me : Any text on monitor ?
Friend : No
Me : Do you plug power cable ?
Friend : Oh sh**t no. Thanks !
Me : facepalm3 -
Fren : Yo make me a bot
Me: Hell nah
Fren: I'll pay u
Me: When do we start
Fren: nvm found someone else lol
,w,5 -
Friend: "I made a really cool game!"
Me: "Awesome, what's language did you make it in?"
Friend: "...English"
-_-6 -
Friend: I bought a new phone.
Me: nice!
Friend: It's really fast coz it has 3gb ram!!
Me: okay... Other specs? Cpu? Camera?
Friend: 13 MEGAPIXELS!
Me: yeah but other specs?
Friend: doesn't matter! The photos are of 8mb!
Me: yeah. Best phone ever. 😑😓10 -
Trying to explain my job to friend who don't know computers.
Friend: So what do you do?
Me: Well they call me a "DevOps Engineer", but really I am just a Release or Automation Engineer.
Friend: What is that?
Me: Well I assist developers build and deploy their code as well as write code to automated the whole process and build the virtual servers.
Friend: So you like program?
Me: Kinda...
Friend: Dude can you write an app for me, got some ideas!
Me: (blinks) no.6 -
I was in my computer class an then I saw my best friend editing the code in Ms Word. What should I say to him?17
-
NO programmer friend
Me : Which language is the most used in the world?
Friend : English
Programmer friend
Me : Which language is the most used in the world?
Friend : Java
Me :19 -
Friend: dude, JavaScript seems awesome. It looks so easy and there aren't any annoying compiler errors like in Java
Me: I know it sounds cool in theory, but it sucks in practice, trust me
Friend: no way, dynamically typed languages are the future
*Friend installs node*
*Friend writes a simple script*
*Friend gets undefined errors because of a few typos and has a hard time debugging it*
Friend: JavaScript is retarded
-_-13 -
My non coder friend thinks typing a 1000 line document and coding 1000 line software/app are perfectly equal things and deserves equal salary.20
-
Me in the digital circuits class: "Bro I just got a pick up line in mind!"
Friend: "Go on.."
Me: "Girl, are you a boolean signal 1? 'Cause you turn me on 😏"
Friend: "I can't believe I'm your friend."6 -
At school in computer class,
Me: (to friend who gets excited from "hacking") Hey look im gonna hack!
Friend: *Turns to watch*
Me: *Does "color a" and "tree"*
Friend: Wow.
Me: *Writes a quick Matrix.bat and opens it*
Friend: Woah guys look he is hacking!!
Me: *Sits there awkwardly*5 -
friend: how do you create a game?
me: *laughing* slow down, first of all try to learn to code, then...
friend: cut the bullshit! your the IT guy, tell me, how you simply create a for e.x. Call of Duty?6 -
There are things that i wish i didn't see.
Yesterday, i went to a coffee shop to relax and reviewing my works. And suddenly a college friend of mine approach me and we started talking about work.
Me: So, What do you do at work? What's your stack?
Him: Not much of a new. Still working with wordpress, html,css and jquery.
So he started talking about how cool wordpress is and how he generates money doing sites.
Me: Can i see your sample works?
Him: Sure, *opens his shitty windows laptop with Web Tech stickers*. and handover his laptop to me.
Me: Woah. the design is so neat (I'm lying). But it's freaking slow man(REALLY FVCKING SLOW).
* I decided to open the devTools and inspected the source code. And I can't believe what i saw.
- 20+ images with 2~4mb file size
- 13 unminified javascript files with variable declarations that looks like minified.
- CDN's of bootstrap, foundation and semantic UI
- LOTS OF FVCKING PLUGINS
* I didn't told him what i saw. I just turn over the laptop to him and finish my coffee.
Him: My sites are cool right? I have a lot of pending projects right now. Easy money Bruh!
Me: Wow. *sips* coffee. and say goodbye to him and walkout.
I FEEL BAD FOR HIS CLIENTS!4 -
Friend brings over a Windows 8 all in one laptop.
Friend: Can you fix my laptop
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: I thought you worked with computers.
Me: I do... but I'm not tech support
Friend: Please?
Me: (reluctantly) Fine.
*many hours later after attempting to get the PC to boot from a USB. WHY DOES THIS PC NOT HAVE A KEY TO ENTER THE GOD DAMNED BOOT MENU AND HAS NO BOOT ORDER SELECTION?????!*
Friend: Have you fixed it?
Me: No
Friend: You suck at computers
Me: ....
Never spoke to him again.8 -
Friend : What about a place where you can share images ?
Me : Instagram !
Friend : chatting ?
Me : whatsapp, messenger, etc
Friend : file sharing
Me : Dropbox
Friend : sharing videos ?
Me : youtube
Friend : mail with all above features
Me : google
Friend : I hate my life6 -
*Friend after a date*
Friend : Bro what according to you is a perfect date?
Me :DD/MM/YYYY....
Everything else is just confusing.
Friend:😒16 -
So a friend of mine asked me today "got any proposals?"
Me: "yeah, in fact I got two of them"
Friend: "... Nice!"
Me: "yeah. Both were from my client"
Friend bursts out laughing.1 -
Friend ask me,
Friend: are all developers single?
Me: of course not
Friend: you sure?
Me: yep
Friend: then why you single?
Me: because i am a developer
Friend: what?
Me: nah im just joking, when i find the girl that can understand my code i know she's the one.
Friend: I hope theres someone that can understand that.43 -
My first rant, so pls don't blame me?. 🙈. No just kidding, but now the Story. A friend told me that he want to start hacking. But I know that he can't prog or use a PC. But I asked: "Can u program?" He: Yeah, of course!?". *Me wondering as fuck* Me: Where do u learned that?" He: "Watched YouTube Videos!" Me: "OK?, and what language du u want to use, and IDE?" He answered: "Language Arduino, and IDE what is that?". *Me facepalming and asking myself what dafuq was he watching and why is he trying to do things like that*11
-
Friend: "what is the answer to this question?"
Me: "${answer}"
Friend: "yes, what is the answer?"
Me: "my bad"
Me: `${answer} is the answer`
Friend: "thanks man" -
>Friend: I want to download a PDF file from the internet but it doesn't work :-( :-( :-(
>Me: I'll have a look. Can you send me the link?
>Friend: Thank u :-*
>Friend: file:///C:/Users/...5 -
Friend - Could you develop a Website for me ?
Me - What exactly for?
Friend - (Explains what he wants) and the name of the site should be eventsomethingmanagement.com
Me - oh for that you'd have to buy the domain name, and host your site there
Friend - I thought you'd do all of that
Me - Seriously? NO
Friend - I thought you were an engineer
Me - :|8 -
Me: what's makes your project awesome?
Friend : we use machine learning
Me: Anything else
Friend : Nothing
Me: 🙄3 -
Saw this from a friend of a friend of a friend and made my own meme.
2 unit tests 0 integration tests. Hacky code to fix it.3 -
So im here with this lovely girl on my chest and all i can think of is why i got a Null Pointer exception and why in the fudge im lying here with this woman instead of fixing that.
Oh, maybe its because i spend 27 hours of the available 24 hours in a freakin day writing code whilst struggling to give her attention. She deserves this moment. She's my best Fragment...Friend, she's my best Friend.10 -
*friend sees me using inspect element*
Friend: woah dude, are you hacking?
Me: no, actually, I-
Friend: Dude, how do I do that? I want to use that to hack Clash Royale! Or minecraft!
Me: *facepalm*3 -
A conversation with my friend:
Me: Sure, I’ll whitelist you. What’s your IP?
Friend: I think it’s localhost.
Me: ...5 -
"Im gonna buy an Titan V for gaming!"
-Le "Friend" of mine
me:
A Titan V is for research and AI Applications...
Le "Friend"
Ayy u stupid Titan V best card!!!11!
Fuck this shit im fucking out of here...4 -
With much help from a friend here (an unofficially related app, so I'm unsure of username here), I successfully dual booted my laptop to Arch Linux.
Tried Debian, but must have missed something, because it tried to format my whole SSD, which isn't good since my work software only works in windows.
Going to be a change, but I'm kind of excited. To the friend who helped me, I appreciate you and how late you stayed up to help me troubleshoot ❤7 -
Me : For the last time, I am not a window cleaner!
Old Friend : Oh, so what do you do ?
Me: I work at IT.
Old Friend : With computers and stuff ?
Me : YES.
Old Friend : Woah like with apple computers ?
Me : Nah, I work with Windows.
Pun intended. -
Today a friend asked if I could fix her friends website, it is made in wordpress.
My reaction "hmm ewh wordpress, but I can take a look"
Then it hit me, my friend is a webdev and doesnt want to do wordpress herself.
I might get contacted about it soon and thus more rants may follow.7 -
Friend: hey can you make me a website?
Me: sure, what is it for?
Friend: 'whatever the site is for'
Me: Ok, what are the different tabs you want for the navigation bar?
Friend: Ummm... Idk yet
Me: Ok... So do you have an idea what you want the website to look like?
Friend: Ummm just make it look pretty
Me:undefined guess will try something i'm a programmer not a designer areyoureallyreadyforwebsite whyevenask am i the only one here2 -
"I know more coding" - Friend
Attached image is one of his "websites" that he put up for download13 -
Friend: "i really don't understand why our school didn't teach us HTML as first programming language, you can do some stunning looking website with it"
Me: 🤔10 -
I've of my best friends and coworker told me today that he will leave the company to move to his girlfriend.
Sad but understandable... 😐3 -
Tech support for Friend...
Again...
Ok...
A friend ran down the hallway to my Appartement, I opened the door for him and asked him "What The Fuck... Is wrong with you?!" He was just coughing like...
My... Laptop.... Is... Slow...
When he then eventually came to the point where he could Breath normally again I asked him to login into his by then super with shitty software bloated PC... It was a mess... A Desktop full of Shit... only Shit... I
then opened Chrome and Task Manager...
and holy shit... EVERYTHING! Literally ANYTHING was under 100% Load... Yet his shitty Fans werent spinning up... Shutdown the Laptop and opened it... not to my surprise it was full of Dust... I cleaned it and booted it again... still 100% Load... I couldnt do shit without being bombarded with porn and Hentai Ads... So... I asked him "Did you make any backups to this machine?" He was like.. "*Really long explenation* No *Really long Explenation*"
Great... i thought to myself... Then I said to him his PC was so trash that i only could Reset it to 0... He was like DO ANYTHING YOU CAN LITERALLY ANYTHING!
I then explained him, Resetting this PC Means literally 0 A Fresh start, nothing of your data will be there literally nothing...
He again Was like DO IT!
So I did... When it was done i showed him the result... He FREAKED OUT LIKE THE WORLD WAS GOING TO FUCKING END, HE SCREAMED AT ME WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE? REVERSE IT! REVERSE IT NOW!
I Then said to him, I reset it to 0, I said this would happen...
He then took his now perfectly running Laptop and Ran away...
tl;dr
Tech support for friend, Reset PC to 0, Freaked out AF...3 -
Almost every other person: goes to a club and wakes up in some stranger's bed.
Me: wakes up infront of someone else's computer
(Apparently, I went home with a friend and started programming on her pc and fell asleep infront of the computer...)1 -
a friend asks...
Friend: Hey I have this website and I'm having a problem, can you help me?
Me: surre what is it?
Friend: So I have this WordPress plugin..
Me (interrupts): Sorry I can't help you, your site is doomed -
*Friend : Do you have something to hide?
Me : Nope.
Friend : Then why do you delete your browsing history every single time?
Me : .... Fine.18 -
Friend : I know how to program!
Me : Cool! What language do you program in?
Friend opens notepad and names file program.bat
You have disappointed me8 -
A few days ago a friend of mine asked me to teach him to code. When I wanted to know which language he'd like to learn, he hesitantly replied "https".
Then I explained, this was a data transfer protocol. His next idea was "http". 🙄
Guess who will learn Python8 -
So, the other day a friend of mine called me. It's been years that I haven't talked to this girl. She says "can you do me a favour?". I asked "what?". To which she replies "My Facebook account has been hacked. Can you do something and destroy the guys pc? Don't let him create any other account or even let him use the internet. Ban him from the internet or do something.
And I was like7 -
From this rant: https://devrant.com/rants/1842092/...
For the one piece lovers put there. My buddy made the ship and although i'm not good at watching anime i appreciate the work he puts in. I'm just here sharing hes work, maybe its for you and maybe it isn't but as a person i would like to live in a world where everyone got to achieve some success doing something they love.
The work of him (PS, hes a writer too)
https://flacokawashiwa.wixsite.com/...
Have a good day all7 -
"yes, a university degree isn't necessary to become successful, but that doesn't mean you can waste your time playing games or watching youtube for half a day.
stop complaining about the system and get your ass to work. do something, anything. stop fucking around with your life."
...is what i told a friend and he hasn't messaged me for 2 weeks. i see him on discord all the time, playing runescape or some shit.
i'm 24 and he's 22. he dropped out because he was too lazy to go to uni every 2 days.5 -
Friend: I really dont see how Java and JavaScript are different
Me: *Several minutes explaining the differences
Friend: Ok, ok, but if i write 'JAVA' scripts, im a JavaScript programmer right?
Me: No, you're an asshole3 -
Me and my friend in class:
My friend: my computer won't boot can you do something ?
Me: *looks at the screen*
*see he is in the bios*
*press CTRL+ALT+DEL*
*computer reboots into windows*
My friend: :02 -
Have a friend ask me helping him with a project for University.
Make an application in Java for Matrix and numerous applications.
Done, but I hid an easter egg. If you divide the matrix by 0 scalar output
FAP FAP FAP FAO FAP FAP.
He doesn't know.2 -
Tonight, my long-time friend died. He was living in the basement for years, always reliable, always at my service, keeping my files, watching for my git repos, being my private cloud, and so many things more.
He wrote his last syslog entry at 0:21 a.m., passed away and never woke up.
I found him cold and motionless this afternoon, but could not do anything. Any attempt of reanimation failed.
Goodbye, little BananaPi, fare thee well, and if for ever.
I promise you, your legacy on SD card will live on with a new board.1 -
My Friend: putt all the code into one huge file
Me: hey, there is an issue
Friend: go fix it by yourself
Me: Where is it
Friend: Don't know
There weren't even comments 😡2 -
So a friend says @trogus has a similar with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, what do you think?
Credits: Hexical Labs WebSite13 -
Friend: Do you have a cable you can spare, so that I can charge my phone?
Me: Unless you have a type-c (port), yes.
Friend: No, I have Samsung.
Me: 😂😂😂😂
Friend: 😅7 -
As a side project, I've been helping out a friend build a website for free.
friend: I need more of your commitment for this project. We're about to get a huge client!
Me: Yeah you've been saying that for a year. Dude, I just don't have time to waste in projects that are not givine me any money.
friend: HOW DARE YOU! ARE YOU BLACKMAILING ME?!?!
ugh... not my friend anymore10 -
So, I told my programmer friend to bring food for us while you are out.
He has still not came, Should I be worried ?2 -
Meet my new friend Bert.
Bert is nice. He is into football and he is a good listener. Guess we will become best friends ♥️5 -
I wish people understood this more: "If class A is a friend of B, and B is a friend of C, that does not mean A is a friend of C."1
-
Friend : So you're a computer programmer?
Me : Yes
Friend : Can you install Windows in my laptop??6 -
My friend ask me what this method do?
Me : It's self explaning method bro ;)
Friend : doNothing() ???? 🤔🤔4 -
Me: Brooo, We did it last night!
Friend : Which base did you get to?
Me : Hbase
Friend: Ha, doope!4 -
*My friend texting me*
Friend: wtf
My brain: w tf
My brain again: tf
My brain again: import tensorflow as tf
😂😂am brain dead3 -
Friend: I have an idea.
Me: yeah?
Friend : Office as a service.
Me: (feigning ignorance) they already have those.
Friend: really?
Me: (with slight chuckle) Office 365..
If stink eyes had guns.....7 -
*Me at class just trying to organize my directories and shit on the terminal*
My classmate: OMG you are a hacker! Can you pleas help me hack a Facebook account !!!
Fml....1 -
Friend: why do I get this error help
[I check the logs]
Me: uh,its a OOM, did you allocate enough memory for GC?
Friend: wait hold on
[changes a method]
[works]
Friend: I shouldn't use this experimental method
Me: Cool man blog it2 -
!dev
I come from a small shitty valley where all that people want to achieve is getting approved for loans to buy more cows and shit.. My only friend comes from there as well but he’s different, more like me.. build a life, get out and pursuit something better and bigger..
We grew up smoking everything we could and drinking everything we got because what else are we gonna do, put shit on fire? Been there, done that.. it sucks growing up on the poop hole of the world.
We both left that shithole and started careers but he’s throwing it all out the window.. he’s getting caught with weed, DUI and shit. just a few years ago he got off of more serious drugs.. He built a career and shit for about 10 years but right now he’s just throwing it all away because drugs are in his comfort zone. But he has to go give Pias samples for a while now and if he doesn’t stop he is not getting his license back and the unemployment insurance won’t even pay him because (although he lost the job because of Covid) they said it’s because he smokes weed.
Without the license goes his career as he’s a service electrician.
So fucking hurtful to see, man.
And so hard to accept that he won’t listen and than I’m not his dad who can tell him what to do..
90% of the kids I grew up with who managed to leave that shit hole ended up as homeless junkies.. I guess I’m happy to have the mindset to not end up like them.. and that’s really all it is, the mindset is the only difference (which is complex in itself of course like parenting and stuff)5 -
i met an old friend in a mall and he start talk about linux
friend: hey i just installed arch linux in my laptop!
me: wow cool! you are so expert.
friend: btw i have a problem with it, how to change directory in their black screen?
me: cd?
friend: no! i didn't use cd. i use flashdisk to install it.
me: ah.. okay.3 -
My friend after five tries:
<p>yeuahhhhh bitchessss</p>
Also my friend:
Whew, that was hard. At least now I'm officially a hacker2 -
A developer asks his friend for a loan: 'please give me 1000 $...'
Friend: sure, here, take 1024 so its round.3 -
I feel like a piece of shit because I don't want to help my "friend" who has been faking being a web developer for years. He now has a real project he must develop that actually requires writing code (It's a serious project that requires real Javascript skills) and he's basically fucked.
He usually would hop on the web and download a template, edit it and get paid. But then again I don't want to help him because he always comes to me and I do all the work and save his ass while he does nothing.
I'm in a rock and a hard place right now because I'm also a dev and I actually have a lot of work to do, unlike his lazy ass.5 -
Friend : hey! I wanna buy a laptop.. range is about entry level nothing hi fi! But it should work for 3-4 years.
Me : sure.. give me a few hours..i'll get back.
*Looks all around foe the best thing in that price range.
*Sends a list of laptops ranked based on value for money.
Friend : bought it! Yay! 😎😎😎
*Buys the shittiest laptop they could find at that price range with an absolute old age processor.
Why the fuck did you even ask me at the first place? Fucked couple of hours for me.6 -
When i'm in a coffe-shop, i always have the same thoughts:
"Hello, friend.
Hello, friend?
That's lame.
Maybe I should give you a name, but that's a slippery slope.
You're only in my head."1 -
So my friend is learning the Java. And he says to me "Why would you even need dividing in game developing?!".7
-
Today one of my friend just became a hacker...😂😂
The whole thing he did is:-
Opened a random WordPress site(found by luck) and in the URL bar he tried to type wp-login and it worked. Login page for WordPress dashboard board loaded and he told me that he hacked that website.
I said to him "Go On broda you are a LEET hacker..........4 -
Friend: You're good with computers right?
Me: well...yeah why?
Friend: can you have a look at my microwave? something's wrong with it...
Me: ::face palm::2 -
My friend: Got new job? What you do?
Me: Software Engineer.
My friend: oh great, can you check why my computer is so slow?
Me: ......3 -
Trying to teach a friend Rails
Friend: what is a migration
Me: file that alters the database etc.
Friend: what is a migration3 -
Friend: Oh god! Are you sure you wanna eat that bunch of garlic?!
Me: Sure. I'm working backend.
Friend: Never mind.5 -
Me and friend talking about a paper.
Friend: how much do you want me to read?
Me: readln
Friend: ??? -
Today I was having conversation with my friend about time consumed in fixing errors. Our non coder friend was silently listening to us.
After we finished our lunch he stood up and said,
"You guys don't know how to handle time with efficiency. Why don't you ignore all the errors, finish your coding and fix all the errors in the end. It will save a lot of time"5 -
In `Computer Fundamental` class
friend: What 1 + 1 equal to?
me: two.
friend: ...no, it's equal to ten.
me: oh fuck!2 -
Friend: what do you do?
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: could you fix my computer ?
Me: Kill Me(Thinks). -
*Java*
Friend: So I can have variables on interfaces?
Me: Yeah, just that they are final and static
Friend: ...2 -
Friend: PHP is trash.
Me: PHP is the most beautiful thing men created. And you're trash.
Friend: it's function(){
}
Me: it's
function()
{
}18 -
Friend: Is this Nvidia GTX 440 a good graphics card?
Me: idk
Friend: if i get it how do i put it in my computer
Me: idk
Friend: but you are a programmer
Me: exactly, i am not an engineer9 -
My non dev friend called me in middle of night for getting shortcut virus removed! I would have blasted 🔫 him but I felt pity on the guy as I know that he is poor with tech stuff
Any he had only windows, so I Google up solution and replied back to him.
He asked where to put it. I told him in cmd. He is like what so I told him to press win+r then in that type d and "black" 🏴 window will appear. Type in that.
guess what he typed exactly as mentioned in the reply and didn't replace the drive name properly .😑
I told him to put proper drive and saw that he missed spaces so l told him that he missed space 😤 and he put only one space and it still had problem so I had to explain it in weirdest was possible( shown in fig 1.1 had been writing report and figure gave yo be mentioned with number 😅)
Finally. It was all done! Well some pf my cs ( !counter strike but computer science friend) are worse then this can't use teminal or even connect to WiFi (wpa-enterprise @ college with mschap v2 and peap auth which is crackable using twin tower and brute force) properly, do I guess it not BA's that this guy cry to get rid of shortcut virus (virus > wifi setup) 😬
Finally I feel relived after ranting 😪5 -
Friend: I'm making a benchmark programm for CPUs. Wanna help me?
Me: Yeah sure, what language are you using?
Friend: Java.4 -
I present to you the rubber duck I use for debugging.
that's right I dont have one. I just to talk to myself really. but what's curious is that when I do this, I tend to cock my head to a side, or turn slightly in my chair as if I was talking to someone just behind me. I didnt realize I was doing this until my cousin pointed it out to me coz it was creeping her out.
let me also mention that I used to have an imaginary friend growing up. his name's Jesse. I dont know if it really is just a weird mannerism or maybe I was still subconsciously talking to him.3 -
Just introduced my best friend to devRant! Immediately enthusiastic! Welcome on board mate :). @CoffeeAllDay !2
-
Throughout my friend groups, I’ve been the only one interested in computers. I wish I had a programmer friend to hang out with :(10
-
Stupid ass nimble fucker of an old friend talks to me for a whole week after a reunion saying stuff like "I'm glad we got to spent time together bro and stuff", the soul eater of poop being sets up a conversation over a week talking like he was a true friend. He only had to manage it for a week more, hell he had to resist his urge for a puny ass week and I would've considered that maybe good people existed. Well the universe along with this Pseudo-panty fuck decided it was time, they pitch me an "idea". Well after demonstrating kindly that I could technically pull (n) such ideas from my virtual butthole. The guy finally believes his idea was stupid and moves away. A minute later. SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER! he says, telling me that he got an amazing idea along and if I could help him with some stuff. Well.. What? I jumped at this amazing opportunity. Not because of the dangling-dickina of an idea, because this was my way out of this misery fucks life. Alright should buy me some time right? He would go watch some tutorials, make a logo and call me when there's a problem. We'll in the milli fucking time that even a big bang couldn't have recurred, the bitch calls and says.. Bro, sorry for disturbing you, I need some help... [What did your mother from another son tell you she only gave birth to half of you?]
APPARENTLY, THE GUY JOINED FORCES WITH SOME INTELLIGENT MINDS AND SETUP A LEAGUE OF LIKE MINDED NECROPHILES AND I COULD HELP THIS DREAM TEAM with a name and a logo.
It started, I could sense it. I wasn't THE CHOSEN ONE. Tired, I said I'll see what I can do while attempting to block his number. A few hours later, he calls from another number with no shame and asks BRO? DID YOU. Did me what you bloody dick lubricator. Yeah I watched your mom a couple times, then I got bored when I found out it was an ad.
Unfortunately no I did not tell that, instead I used the kindest words I could pull out of my frustrated ass to tell him I won't do it cause I have better things to do.
The guy comes back a few hours later with an emotional back-story of how this is his way out of his sad ass life and saying stuff like sorry to disturb you bro, I never meant to.
Oh my gawd! Give this douche manufacturer an Oscar. Actually give him two!!
————
After this traumatic experience I often feel for such people. They have around 90 years to live. They have a free fucking brain. They have money. They have less problems.
Why can't they come up with a worthy idea with all these factors to compound the ideation process.
And why on the earth can't they make the Idea on their own. I'm completely self taught so I don't see it being a problem. I could well say that I'm more knowledgeable than a few grads out of my stupid college but I don't wanna compare myself to those stupid beings.
If you have an idea? Make it. Die for it. But never approach another being, either he eats you or you eat him.4 -
- - Hey buddy, can you create a simple App for me to publish on the Play store?
- let me see first what features you need
- - **Spending 20 minutes talking about so many features and out of the box design**
- that's it?
- - yes that is it, it'svery simple I know it !
- so you think it's simple huh? so fo it yourself !...4 -
2009:
friend: I need some help
me: install TeamViewer
2019:
friend: I need some help
me: install AnyDesk12 -
I have the same problem as @linuxxx does. Buying things when I really don't need to.
I went to a mall with a friend today because his headset was literally falling apart. We both bought new headsets. Great.
Lesson learned: Don't leave your house unless necessary.3 -
So my friend who is currently attending University to major in Computer Science just started programming Java a few days ago. His first assignment was to learn bubble sort and make it organize a table of certain values provided in the assignment with a few other items on the side. Apparently, he was stressing over the assignment and waited till the last night to do this, and was running on 2 hours of sleep. Anyways, a few days pass and he received a 0% on the assignment with the comment "See me on Monday." and questioned what he did wrong (They use GitHub to submit their assignments, even though other classes at the University just commit to the University Server for Computer Science), and asked me to review the code. When I started looking at the code, all he managed to do was just make two tables, one that would print the unsorted table, and then print the "sorted" table. Plus, the catch that got him in trouble, he named his package "fuckthisshit", how does one not realize that when they're submitting their assignments... like seriously? Like I can understand the 2 hours of sleep, but with 1000s of examples out there, how do you manage to fake bubble sort plus end up naming a package "fuckthisshit" and question why he got a 0%. I do feel bad for him in the long run since there aren't many assignments in this class so this was worth 25%.
-
When I still in college one of my friend called me
Friend : you major is CS right?
Me: yeah
Friend : I want to buy a new PC
Me : cool
Friend :just to check with you what is the price for a 512M memory?
Me : ......2 -
friend: Hey,what's this app, devRant on your phone?
me: well,it's where developers share their views....
friend: oh, it's like facebook for coders?
me: :|5 -
Friend of mine had a perfect day today:
It's 3am, you're coding hard, can't even see properly, but you know only a two or three proper lines and you are finished. A few minutes later you set your pc to hibernate because you can't go further and go to sleep.
In the morning/noon you log in, see only a mess. Half of the new variables are probably obfuscated or in some alien language because you can't read that shit and a cherry on the top - 1/4 of a _big_ test suite reports errors. What a lovely day. -
My friend had an awesome idea for an app, but, he doesn't seem interested in doing anything 😑 I should I make the app or do nothing?10
-
Today is the first day of the last year of my bachelor's degree.
It's also the first day of work for one of my closest friends.
I wish him the best for this new adventure.
Good luck my friend and have a nice day !1 -
:3 I'm soooo happy right now! My friend asked me to help her get started in designing circuits and making her own PCBs. Great motivation for me to write a few articles on it 😊... Honestly I would have just asked her to marry me right on the spot if she wasn't a lesbian and didn't have a girlfriend already.
...maan, it bugs me a lot: super cute, same interests, really really intelligent and knowledgeable, great character... Why must everyone care about gender? :( (I don't - just for the context...)4 -
That feeling when you realize your work friend isn’t actually your friend, and you have no connection with anyone you work with anymore.8
-
I make friends on the Nintendo Switch with friend codes.
Friend codes in 2017, what is the world coming to? -
How to find the solution to your problem:
Try to explain it to someone.
Almost every time I explain some weird thing that doesn't work to my friend, I realize what's the cause or have an idea for something to try out..3 -
Anybody encountered any bug you have been searching on the net for hours and it is like a nightmare for you.. then your friend comes and fixes it for you in seconds.. and then you just feel useless :(2
-
Started a job as a full stack developer. My first task was shocking! Do these small edits on this backend script that collects stuff from one database and edits the entries in another... piece of cake so far!
Here is the project on the TFS...
HOLD ON! IS THIS VISUAL BASIC?!!
I came here to do .Net framework development and .Net Standard... I wasn’t told that there will be VB, I have never used vb.net before.
Now... that I’m going to maintain this script in the future, I decided to rewrite it in C#, few things I learned on my journey of doing this:
1- There is an access modifier in VB called Friend
2- There is a data structure/type called Collection, it’s a value,key pair! Not key value pair... Value first, then key!!
3- Do you know how null is null everywhere?!! In VB they call it Nothing! Yes, as in...
if(myVar == nothing)
{
//stuff
}
Asking the guy responsible for that choice... he thinks VB is easier to read than C#
I DONT WANT YOU TO READ IT, I WANT IT TO MAKE SENSE AND WORK WITH THE REST OF THE C# CODE WE HAVE!!9 -
First experience with Android: our professor of Software Engineering gave us a project about building an app for University indoor geolocation using BLE beacons.
Just found out that only a few PhD-level dudes did such a thing with much fewer good results.
Sounds like when your average-hedidnotrealizedwhataprogrammeris-friend asks you if you are able to hack Google Chrome.2 -
So I dont have any programming friends really. Any trick to making any? 😬 Apparently I keep getting a 404 error: friend not found. xD6
-
Friend: "Why isn't my screen turning on with my computer?"
Me: "It's not plugged in."
Friend: "Yes it is. It has power" -
Me: *Showing the "You ! Count" image from devRant to a friend*
Friend: Haha! Nice one!
Me: You should install devRant, the image is from there
Friend: What is devRant?
Me: It's like Twitter, but only for programmers
Friend: No thanks, I don't like Twitter
I have failed you, master!2 -
So I went to some meetup with my boss.
Suddenly some old friend of mine shows up, and we start talking..
- „Where do you work now?“
„$company in $city“
- „And.. Do you like it there?“
„Now way, I hate my job.. Too many idiots around!“
The thing is: My boss was right behind me all the time and heard everything..
FML!3 -
Has anyone ever actually tried moving to a nice tropical place while making a good living working only 50% part time as a remote developer? It seems like it’s always a friend of a friend of a friend.5
-
This damt "light theme" is the most ugliest thing anyone ever developed...
and my best friend loves it!
Now he was my best friend2 -
I had a school project with a friend, we concord to code some parts of the program, share it and explain the code so the teacher see the code was ours, when the final date come, after some doubts from my find we could delive the project with a not good note, the time passed and the teacher repeated the temps for a final protect, my friend was totally lost, the he arrives with all of his part, I questioned him about the code but he don't not so much abut, we almost fail the final protect because he buy the code to someone else and couldn't explain it to the teacher.
This was my face when I knew he cheated.1 -
A close friend of mine and i talked a while back and it went a little like this.
friend - "You like programming right"?
me - "Yeah"
friend - "I got a great idea"
She never really told me what the whole idea is. She said its easier to explain face to face but i can guess it's dev related.
But here's the issue. I have a tendence to just suddenly loose all motivation for a project (look at my github) and i'm afraid that i'll loose motivation for the thing she wants to do with me and i'll disappoint her.
Do i help her with her idea or not?
Keep in mind that i'm not a actual dev. Its just kinda my hobby. I can do it for free. Thats not the problem.7 -
Classmate from school has logged in to his gmail account on my laptop and has not logged out yet. Now I have access to all the his subscription including g facebook.
Now as a friend and human, should I teach him a expensive lesson ?
You time starts now. Reply fast 00:59:0015 -
Yesterday I successfully converted my normie friend to linux. I installed Ubuntu on his machine and he loves it so far.1
-
A friend of mine is youtuber and he does a lot tests on phone ( call him X)
Another friend of mine hates Apple product. Partly because he can’t afford it (call him Y)
whenever X wants to do a WATER RESISTANCE TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”
whenever X wants to do a HEAT RESISTANCE TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”
whenever X wants to do a DROP TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”
One fine day, same happened and X got a bit red. X says: Y come here. Closer, a little more ( few centimeters away now). “Are you fucking mad or what?”2 -
Imagine a time when a colleague contributes a shitty spaghetti of non-optimized code that neither use mnemonic variables nor conventional naming of functions, and you can imagine the dark hours of maintaining it and your fingers itch to fix it but you don't have the time and the responsibility too to do it. He doesn't listen to you and you feel bad to tell this to the boss as the colleague is also a friend you've known since college and is a good person otherwise. No options seems to give peace.6
-
I found this funny, or my dev-humor is just really bad :>
Friend: Ugh
Friend: Java and BlueJ.
Friend: Why you indicate relationships between classes that have no relationships.
Friend: Fu BueJ
Me: It's called a crush :wink:
Me: *badum-tssss*
Precision: As in having a crush on a person, but no relationship :)1 -
Yestersay one of my friend (who runs a school) told me to make one software for the fee management of students. I said why don't you buy from market number of people's have already selling these kind of softwares. He said yes I have tried but they are costly few of them are selling at 10 k INR (less than 200 $).1
-
Me: *randomly streaming myself code just because*
Friend: "So what are you doing"
Me: "I'm trying to parse a file. The specs are here - oh"
Friend: "Oh?"
Me: "I set screenshare to vs code only, so you can't see it"
Friend: "It's alright, just pass me the link"
Me: "Well, this is vs code, so I might as well check if it can display websites"
Friend: "No way you'd need that,"
>browser
* simple browser
Friend: "Please no"
"Enter url here"
Friend: "Stop!"
*loads website*
Friend: *dies of bloat*
Me: "All hail the bloat"
Friend in heaven: "Stop, your bloat will drag me down to hell"
So yeah, bloat can be useful sometimes4 -
I have a friend who does crypto shit. Apart from that he's a great guy. But the crypto shit. I haven't had contact for over a year bc whenever I open the chat I see his last message, that I should stake my money in his etherium node or whatever bs and don't know what to write anymore :/3
-
Everyone and their mom has an app idea they want you to code. Friend enthusiastically invites me on to work on a project, under the premise that he wants to learn development, seems legit. A few weeks later I'm building the entire app, and my friend still hasn't written a single line of code. Now he wants to pay me to finish building the app by myself and I am NOT feeling it AT ALL. UGH.... can anyone relate??1
-
Friend comes over.
Friend: "Should I declare this as long or double?"
*Shows me code, requires user input for that particular part.
Me: That's VARIABLE
*dies laughing1 -
So this guy, was my teacher in college, and he started involving me in projects outside school, after that he recommended me to my current employer and is currently a guy I consider my personal friend. But the hest thing is that he has never cuf me some slack, he always challenges me to understand the why of the how haha, I can actually say that I have gotten to where I am because of him
-
Do drugs n weeds help in becoming awesome at coding and especially hacker? ...
Asking for a friend.17 -
I just finished this app I was working on, an app which I was supposed to be working on with a friend who never committed. It pisses me off that he didn't put in any input. We were supposed to work on different parts of the app. I had everything planned out, on how to make a certain function. But right now I'm just happy because I have no idea how I got it to work without the functions and at this stage I don't wanna check ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1
-
First post here...Here's a funny thing that happened to me yesterday. I'm with my friend, we're both taking a break from school, and he comes up to me and mentions how he wants to make 3d games. Conversation goes a bit like this:
Friend: "Hey, I found this 3d model website. I'm thinking of using it for my 3d game."
He was already making a 2d game at this point, so I assumed he just gave up on it.
Me: "Well...do you have Unity?"
Friend: "Yes."
Me: "Well if you're going to make a game on there [stuff about c#]"
Friend insists he can easily make this. I tell him it would take years on end to learn C# and make a good game with it. And then he says something I never wanted to hear.
Friend: "Actually, no. You ever heard of Dani? D-A-N-I? He made a game in 2 weeks. He's actually making a new game and you should wishlist it on steam blah blah yatta yatta."
This guy believed someone else who was previously a game developer (if i recall) learned an entire programming language and engine in two weeks. He could've, but to me that seems seriously outrageous to someone who doesn't even know a smidge of programming.
He then advertised his YouTube channel and his games and brought down my arguments like "he probably had previous knowledge" completely. This guy doesn't even know where to start with C#. Really, all I could do after that was mention three.js (oh wow another JavaScript library, exciting), show him a game Google made with said library, and then said good luck...
Worst thing is, he uses Scratch to make games. And he genuinely thinks that is a real programming language.
That's it for my first post, thank you very much for reading :)6 -
Asking for a friend: Well actually a friend asked me (since "I'm good with computers", you know it ;)) and no real solution came to my mind, so I thought, why not ask the internet
Anyways. She's an artist and does a project (kind of a documentation) about the Egyptian revolution. She currently lives in Europe but still has her Egypian passport. As an Egyptian national, she fears, that she could be holden back for a while and have her laptop/external HD with all the photos/videos/interviews confiscated and/or searched. She asked me for help to have a "backup solution".
The requirements: a way to backup work (from a mac) to a secure location (I would offer my server running linux for it).
The upload would have to be encrypted (if possible, I suggested to use a VPN, is this enough?)
Access to the files should only be granted if you have the propper password (in my opinion the VPN tunnel should work here too, as when it's down, you can't just reopen it without a password.
What are your thoughts on this?10 -
My friend tried to disassemble FakeSMC (hackintoshers where are u at) into assembly code.
My friend: yo dude, let's look at FakeSMC's ASM!
Me: u stoopid or wut
My friend: don't worry, it's gonna be so much fun!
Me friend after an hour and an accidental modification the the file through ASM: bro i need your help, my hackintosh won't boot and I need your backup13 -
Today I got a message from a "friend" of @Alice and me, for a long time. And I was already ranting by myself, because this little fucker is writing maybe two or three times a year, just to have a computer support, like now. He needed help, because a game was crashing everytime at a specific point, and I advised him to reinstall the game, which he can't, because of his slow internet. His answer stated, that he would have only slow internet right now. After this I explained him, that his internet is for around 2.5 years slow. And 2.5 years aren't "right now". I'm still waiting for any reaction.
It's the same fucking guy in Alice's wk post here: https://devrant.com/rants/1564585/...2 -
Not dev but, enough for the story. Had an assignment to create a hashtable for my DS course. Asked a friend how he managed resizing and the load factor
Friend= tablesize*50
Me= what...
Friend= space complexity what... -
Friend: <tells me a joke>
Me: Hahahaha! That is so humerus!
Friend: It is spelled: humorous.
Me: Yeah, I really boned the spelling on that one. -
So this is my conversation with my friend today, I feel so dumb.
*out of curiosity, after seeing his PC application*
me: Hey bro what make the GUI so simple what you use?
friend: theek hai.
me: Seriously bhai, what you use?
friend: I just told you ! I said theek hai!
me: *confused and thinking,*, what library for which language ?
friend: python bro.
me: *finally realise* you mean TK? omg..
friend: that's I was saying bro.
well i messed up hindi and english what is wrong with me?4 -
Been writing a webcrawler to be integrated into Rails and possibly Phoenix (in the future)..
Friend A: Heyyyy. Woah. You speak Latin?
Friend B: Dude he's a hacker bruh.
Friend C: Omgomgomg can you hack J****'s FB?
Me: Guys. It's just code. (¬_¬) -
(In-class, listening to friend)
Friend: I've programmed games before & deployed them. (Summed up)
Me: Cool! What did yo-
Teacher: Get into groups and make a quick access app for the school.
Friend: Hmm.. I'll ask my friend how to do this.
Me, silently annoyed: If you've made a game & deployed it... This should be decently easy for you... *facewall*1 -
Me: *asking a friend* Are recruiters friends or foes when searching for a gig?
Friend: they are motherFOEkers1 -
Trying to help my friend fix his Microsoft Office over the phone.
Friend: 'I seem to be having some trouble installing Office'
Me: 'What version are you trying to install?'
Friend: 'Windows 10' -
My friend asked me to forward his website along with Github profile to Software Engineers to take a look at his current profile. https://github.com/DawidCyron
https://dawidcyron.me
What do you think about the code? Seems good to me, but I would like to know what you think. Also, with 2 more Java API projects and 2 Mobile Apps, could he try applying for Junior jobs?5 -
Messaged my practice lead (and also good friend) with a root cause analysis as well as proposal on how to fix a problem after migration to mysql 5.7.
Now I’m waiting in defense mode to strike me back with his violent wisdom.1 -
Recently, my graphic designer friend who started learning web development has seen Dennis Ritchie calling him in his dream.
-
If you think root is at the top of the tree not at the bottom then you're already my close friend.
#CodingForLife -
Friend: You have some programming skills, or?
Me: Yes.
Friend: Can you setup a server for me?
Me: Why do I need programming skills for this?
Friend: for the autostart.exe
:-(6 -
The company I work in recently made a subdomain where you need to figure out how to hack the page using a vulnerability they subtly put there. If u are successful u get an interview. I looked it over for fun and was able to do it. But since i already work there i was thinking of telling a friend id love to join us but was rejected a month ago when they interviewed him about how i did it so he can apply maybe they give him another chance. do you think I should do that?
Note that i referred him last month and hes a fresh grad with not much experience3 -
Everytime I learn something, I start to learn something new, and I forget what I just learned. I'm tired of readin docs...3
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friend: what os do you use?
me: arch linux
friend: what de do you use?
me: i3-gaps
friend: what editor do you use?
me: vim
friend: what file manager do you use?
* thinking i will say ranger *
me: vim-fs
...
friend: what browser do you use?
me: chromium+vimium
and that's when he lost his mind.10 -
when I heard someone using google translation,it reminded me of a shocking and sad fact.
One day I passed through a friend's room and heard "I love you" , "I really love you"...I am curious as to why his room makes this sound?Oh,it turned out that he is using google translation....
If I have enough money,I will go with a siri back. -
Today I had a problem with an app for table reservations. It gave me a strange error. A friend of mine is working on that app and I directly called him to resolve the issue. Boss of all bosses.1
-
So happy, a former colleague, now friend, of mine decided to join my project, he has a lot of experience and helped me out a ton in my first professional years to gain knowledge about optimization, performance, architecture and countless more stuff.(--> wk73 best dev teacher I had)
The only downside, in this case very minor downside, is that I now have to go back to something I despise: project management... I need to properly format and transfer all my scribblings and thoughts into a roadmap and a rough specification, so he has a good start into the project.
Overall though I am really looking forward to this collab, since I love to work in a team, especially with such great support. -
Me: This ...
Friend: Is not working.
Me: How come it not work?
Friend: You are such a ...
Me: Waste of time. I know.
Friend: Forty minutes is all I'll need to debug this program.
Me: Seconds, Can u do that in Forty seconds.
Friend: Of course not. Why would I?
Me: An idiot teacher wants me to upload it right now.
Friend: Idiot, Is that what u call a teacher.
Please read the first letter of every conversation.10 -
a friend greeting our group of friends: advanced happy new year guys!
me: basic happy new year guys! 😅
friend: why?
me: ..1 -
Talking to friend from school on Discord, and he asked for help with a Minecraft mod. I told him he should learn basic Java, and he said he had taken a couple classes already.(turns out they were small Minecraft modding classes) I was like ok, whatever, and after listening to him work on it, it's now obvious that he knows nothing about Java :/2
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when your best friend brings you to a psychiatrist, you take the pill he gave you and your friend starts to disappear5
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My friend said in front of manager 'look what this fool(manager) is speaking' to another friend.
Manager changes requirements on a daily basis and my friend lost his cool today.
Now I'm worried about getting implicated because he always comes to me for help.1 -
Friend: i sent you a message from contact page
Me: i still didnt make the backend because google's snackbar is not working
Friend: snackbar?
Friend: Does it have to do with eating?
Me: 😑 -
Offer to build a website for free for you friend "Fooius Barius." After showing it to them immediately buy "fooiusbarius.com"
-
Friend: Ohh, that's what it is... WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST CALL IT THAT THEN?!
Me: AWS?
Friend: Yeah.
Me: Yep.1 -
An old friend of mine who I haven't seen in ages just texted me. He says his father, who recused my suggestion to clean his HDD for him instead of actually hiring someone to do that, asked me to "fix" his computer.
Me: Well, what's wrong with it?
Him: Nothing, it's just that his PC is really slow. Remember he uses a Vaio?
My best hope is to get the poor dude an running Xubuntu on his machine and hope he adapts to it. -
So one of my friend is doing her internship now and she has to program in Java because her boss believes she is studying IT although it's not the case. She is feeling really bad because it took her a week to code what is for them a simple program... I don't know what to say to her... It's not like it's a good thing to learn Java through a specific program! Anyway it's just so annoying these people who believe that if you're studying tech, you must "of course" know a programming language...5
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How meta would it be to create a computer in minecraft, and program it to run minecraft?
I think it's theoretically possible(?) If u got the patience, which you would need loads of.6 -
had a question from a friend of a friend regarding a website with search function but javascript only. did his homework. appealing.
-
Today's achievement, has successfully told my friend to create an account in Devrant. Guess what? My friend instantly love it.2
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*My friend gives me some code and says that there's a problem which he can't figure out*
*He shows it me when I read...*
...
cout >> "Hello!" >> endl;
...
Me: -
Bruh, just learn them how a computer works with minecraft. Inverters, And, Nand, etc... can all b made there. From there, u can make flip-flops, u can make registers, adders, multiplexors, demuxs. Ofc makin anything more then a 1-bit, maybe 2-bit machine, would be a pain, and dont get me starting on memory that extends one register. But hey, if u got the patience, u can ofc. Put it together to an ALU, combin all of them with a PC to an CPU. Ofc, you got no ROM or RAM, but hey, atleast u've built the hard part.4
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$friend>So you are a programmer right?
$me>I prefer coder, so what do you need?
$friend>Can you hack my this facebook account? -
When your best friend becomes "System doesn't want to respond at the moment. Go fuck yourself. Thanks" 😞
-
!dev
The conversation with my friend.
friend: "So you are getting a new Job?"
me : "Yea, maybe I will start a business tho. btw , what you do for a living now?"
friend: "I fap for living."
me: "aacha? come on serious."
friend :"serious only I am telling. I donate my sperm for RM150 per sample."
me: "WTF"
friend: "yeap. and that's how I made more virgin marry with my donation."
me: "YUCKS, stop it." -
A buddy wants to learn to code. What lanuage should I have him learn, and do you guys have recommendations for books/websites?7