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Listening to two girls argue about how thin their eyebrows are is what you deserve for forgetting your headphones at home9
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Forbes has, by far, the shittiest and most user-unfriendly website I've ever gone to, in this gigantic clusterfuck we call the Internet. I honestly don't understand how they felt their site design is OK. Fuck their dev team manager.
Let's run down some of its worst offenses, shall we? FORCED ANTI-ADBLOCK, shitton of ads (some of which are extremely invasive and dangerous), autoplaying sidebar video WITH SOUND ON, that fucking social sidebar & collapsed navigation, and their mind-bogglingly irrelevant, frustratingly obnoxious, & totally pointless Quote of the Day, which itself has ads and A FORCED COUNTDOWN to go to the fucking article you went there to read to begin with.
The articles themselves on Forbes are solid, so why do they have to ruin it with this shit? I will never go to a Forbes link again. No article is worth facing their torture chamber.
TLDR: Fuck you Forbes, your site is absolutely the shittiest on the entire web (which is quite a feat).28 -
Long rant ahead. Should take about 2-3 minutes to read. So feel free to refill your cup of coffee and take a seat :)
It turns out that the battery in my new Nexus 6P is almost dead. Well not that I didn't expect that, the seller even explicitly put that in the product page. But it got me thinking.. why? Lithium batteries are often good for some 10k charges, meaning that they could last almost 30 years when charged every day! They'd outlive an entire generation of people!
Then I took a look at the USB-C wall charger that Huawei delivered with this thing. A 5V 3A brick. When I saw that, I immediately realized.. aah, that's why this battery crapped out after a mere 2 years.
See, while batteries are often advertised as capable of several amps (like 7A with my LiitoKala 18650 batteries that I often use in projects), that's only the current that they can safely take or deliver without blowing up. The manufacturer doesn't make this current rating with longevity in mind. It's the absolute maximum in current that a given battery can safely handle.
The longevity on the other hand directly depends on the demand that's placed on the battery. 500mA which is standard USB 2.0 rating or 1A which is standard USB 3.0 rating, no sweat. The battery will live for at least a decade of daily charges and discharges like that no problem.
But when you start shoving 3A continuous into a battery, that's when it will suffer. Imagine that your current workload is 500mA and suddenly you get shoved 6 times that work upon you. How long would you last?
Oh and not only the current is a problem, I suspect that it also overvolts the battery to maintain a constant current all the way till the end. When I charged my lithium cells with my lab bench power supply, the battery would only take a few milliamps when it got close to the supply voltage. Quick bit of knowledge: lithium cells are charged at constant current first, then when the current drops below that, it continues at constant voltage - usually 4.2 or 4.35V depending on the battery. So you'd set your lab bench power supply at 4.2V 500mA. But in that constant voltage mode, as the battery's voltage and the supply's voltage equalize, the current drops because the voltage difference becomes lower. Remember, voltage is what causes current to flow. Overvolting at the supply to stay in constant current mode all the way till the end speeds this process up but can be dangerous and requires constant monitoring of the battery voltage.
So, why does Huawei and a bunch of other manufacturers make these 3A power chargers? Well first it's because consumer demands ever more, regardless of the fact that they can just charge at 500mA for the night (8h of sleep) and charge a 4000mAh battery from 0 to 100% no problem. Secondly it's because sometimes you need that little bit of extra juice fast, like when you forgot to plug the damn thing in and you've got only 30 minutes in the morning to pour some charge into it.
But people use those damn fucking things even when they go to bed, making that 3A torture a fucking standard process!! And then they complain that their batteries go to shit?!
Hopefully this now made you realize that the fast charger shouldn't be used as a regular charger ^^28 -
So you poor devs... you have to be strong now, hr has a new tool to torture you: Skype has a new coding interview function.
What do you think about that? Good or even more abuse?
19 -
People who ask a question on the interwebs, solves it by themselves and just say "It's OK. I've solved it" without explaining how should have their Internet removed (maybe some light torture too).2
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Had to pack boxes again today. (distribution center job to pay the bills until I find an IT job)
Was hungry as fuck.
Then I suddenly had to pack a truckload of FUCKING COOKIES.
😭8 -
When you're waiting for your bus, veeeeery much in for coffee but you've gotta wait till you're at work and then you literally get 4 people around you drinking coffee and the smell is freaking 😍 but you can't get any at that moment.
This is torture 😭13 -
I hate Wordpress. I hate Wordpress. I hate Wordpress.
Wordpress can take a big shit on itself and crawl into a deep dark hole far away from all that is good.
Who even uses Wordpress? Bloggers? Come on, let’s be honest, they’re using more intuitive sites like weebly, wix, and square space. So WHAT is Wordpress for? I’ll tell you, it’s just to FUCKING TORTURE PEOPLE.
So, being the “techy guy” of the family, a relative contacts me asking for some help with their website because they need to install an SSL certificate but they don’t know how to. I tell them I’d gladly do it because, sure, they’re family and how long can it possibly take to install a certificate? I’ve done it before!
Well, I get to work and log into the sluggish Wordpress dashboard and try to use a plugin that would issue a LetsEncrypt certificate because they are free and just as good as any other SSL. But one plugin after the next I keep getting errors about how my hosting wouldn’t allow it.
So I contact GoDaddy (don’t get me fucking started) and ask them about the issue. The guy tells me it’s “policy” to only be able to use GoDaddy’s certificates. How much do they cost? Oh, how about $100 a year?! Fuck you.
I figured out the only way to escape this hell was to ask them to open an economy Linux hosting account with cPanel on GoDaddy (the site was formerly hosted on a “Managed Wordpress” account which is just bullshit for not wanting to give you any control over your own goddamn content). So now I have to deal with migrating the site.
GoDaddy representative tells me that it should only take 20 minutes for me to do this (I’ve already spent way too much time on this but whatever) so I go forward with the new account. I decide I should migrate the site by exporting a backup and manually placing everything on the new server. Doesn’t it end up taking an entire hour to back up a 200MB site because GoDaddy throttled the processing speed?!
So, it’s another hour later and I’ve installed all the databases and carried over all the files. At this point, I’m really at the end of my rope and can’t wait to install the certificate and be done with this fuckery.
I install the certificate and finally get ready to be on my way, but then I see it. A warning. A warning from my browser telling me the site is only partially secure. It turns out the certificate was properly installed but whoever initially made the site HARDCODED ALL THE LINKS to images, websites, and style sheets to be http instead of https.
I’m gonna explode.
I swear, I’m gonna fucking explode.
After a total of 5 hours of work, I finally get the site secure by using search and replace on every fucking file.
Wordpress can go suck a big one. Actually, Wordpress can go suck the largest fuckin one in existence and choke on it.
TL;DR I agree to install an SSL certificate but end up with much more work than I bargained.34 -
!dev
My mental health has been down the drain b'cuz of circumstances. And unfunnily, it did end up taking the better of me. yet folks around me still do not believe it's a thing that people don't want to live anymore; rather it's a "childish" thing and "are you so weak" thing.
And I'm just gonna tell you, if you ever said that to someone who feels like the world is coming to an end for them, you're an unbearable ass, and you're probably one reason that person wants to off themself.
Living around some people is just torture on its own.7 -
N e v e r, fucking e v e r chmod/ chown permissions recursive on the linux /etc folder❗
I did yesterday (, because I am fucking dumb and know little about linux systems) and got the result today. My whole mailserver wasn't working.
After fucking tons of googling and searching and log-digging I found that postfix and opendkim require specific permissions on their respective folders and files.
After changing a fucking amount of permissions on those fucking files the fucking mailserver worked and I can send and receive mails, now. 😤😤😤
What a torture. Lesson learned. Never will repeat this mistake.16 -
Coding is like pizza
You love it and can't get enough, but you torture yourself indulging in it at nights, wish it didn't make you seem fat and attractive to the majority of the population, and it will never love you back -
The definition of torture: watching your non-techie wife attempt to setup a new computer and refusing to accept help.
... there are so many metaphors I can put here but if she sees any of them it would be grounds for divorce so I will leave it at that.4 -
The amount of torture I've been through is too much. I gonna tell everyone. My headphones only work at an angle.3
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*me reading @Alice 's cake recipe
"biscuits violently dismembered"
"dark as our souls."
"slowly and painfully molten butter"
"press your victim tightly against it"
"before it freezes to death"
"Put it into the oven and torture your victim"
"so it fills the hole in its heart"
Well... Wut. Da. Frigging. Heck. I've. Just. Read.8 -
So... I'm pretty much dead inside.
But today I laughed in a meeting.
Nearly died of laughter.
We're currently understaffed for various reasons, especially the ongoing migrations etc.
So a lot of projects are currently in "maintenance" mode (e.g. no new features) - cause we lack the necessary man power.
The meeting was more or less:
Team: We had an ongoing discussion in the team regarding logging and possibilities of tracing and XY suggested we implement OpenTelemetry in *all* projects in the next weeks, can we do that?"
Sometimes I'm not sure If I'm in a sitcom for torture experts.4 -
Back then it was for kids. Today i think it wil be torture for them.
Ps my first language was assembly (not judging)
6 -
I cant fucking wait for the day when i dont have to do fucking frontend just give me a backend, even fucking php is fine just get me away from javascript this is hell this is torture help9
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PORTFOLIO INFLATION
when every junior is writing algorithms, the next step up, the only way to keep up is writing apps. When every junior is writing apps, the next leg up is writing an entire SN.
Eventually junior full stack devs are writing microservice streaming cloud backend content delivery optimized social networks wrapped in virtualization with load balancing, proper CI, public accessible analytics apis, written in custom webaseembly compiled scripting backend utilizing both the latest graphql and every single feature of postgres, while also being a web site builder, an in browser app, mobile optimized, designed to transmogrify your asset pipelines linearflow functional-oriented modular rust cratified turbencabulator while cooking your turducken with CPU cycles, diffusing your gpt, and finetunning your llama 69 trillion parameter AI model to jerk you off all at the same time.
And then the title "wizard" becomes a reality as the void of meaning in our lives occupied by the anxiety of trying to reduce the fear of rejection in job hunting, is subsumed by the brief accidental glance into the cthulian madness-inducing yawning abyss of the future which is all the rest of our lives we have to endure existing for until at last sweet sweet death consumes us and we go to annihilation never having to configure one more framework or devops deploy of another virtual environment.
And it dawns on us that we no longer develop or write code at all. No, everything has become a "service" in this new hellscape future. We slowly come to the realization that every job is really just Costco greeter, or eventually going to be reduced to something equivalent, all human creativity, free will and emotions now taken care of by the automation while we manage the human aspects, like sardines pushing against one another not realizing their doom has been sealed along with the airless can they have been packed into, to be suffocated by circumstance and a system designed to reduce everything to a competition of metrics designed by the devil, if the metrics were misery", and "torture", while we ourselves are driven by this ratfuck wheel to turn endlessly toward social cannibalism, like rats eating their babies, but for the amusement of wallstreet corporate welfare whores who couldnt turn a dime if it wasnt already stolen.
And on our gravestones, those immortal words are carved, by the last person who gave up the ghost, the last whose soul wasnt yey shovelled onto the coal fires driving the content machine consuming the world:
Welcome to costco. I love you.10 -
Stacktraces with zero useful information.
Two full days of breakpoint stepping and framework spelunking.
"bifurcated" object creation.
Delegatd everything.
Inheritence hell fucking everywhere.
Models with both `has_one :x` AND `has_many :x`!?
Automatically-created objects when reading from magic virtual columns!?
What the fuck is this fucking four-dimensional spaghetti monstrosity and just how many angel puppies did I torture and maim in a previous life to deserve this nightmare?
And all of this to fix 12 fucking specs, out of the 1,780 this fucking ticket requires me to break and fix. FML5 -
YouTube. Hate and love for it just like I would for an abusive partner.
Ads!
Wanna build a website with Wix? Fuck no!
Wanna manage WordPress over SSH? Fuck no!
.. well I kind of do but a turd remains a turd regardless of how it's maintained. WordPress can go die from a torture as long as the time everyone has wasted on it loading already. So no, I don't give a flying fuck about WordPress' new interface.
Wanna buy a new Samsung phone despite just having bought a OnePlus already? YOUTUBE, HOW ABOUT YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF AND YOUR SHITTY ALGO?!!
Quality videos though, so many engineering videos and all for free. How amazing is that? I quite like them.
But if I try to like a video and particularly the fucking comments on it, don't you fucking dare putting your fat fingers 1 pixel next to the like button, because then obviously you want to reply to the comment and have a pop-up with the whole comment and all its replies, and an automatically popped up text input field, just so you have to tap back 2 times just to try liking the bloody comment again. Rinse and repeat that 2 times at best, 5 times at worst. What's not to like, right?!
God fucking dammit. At least now I know why those random mentions without any meaningful other text are there in most comment sections. Usability over 9000!!!10 -
Yknow, I want to make an android app that I have in my mind for about half a year now and I already tried twice, both with Kotlin and with Java but everytime I try it's just pain and suffering and frustration...
No it's not because of the language, I like Java and I like Kotlin too and I'd say I'm at least decent at Kotlin and really good in Java...
No no.. the issue is the fucking Android SDK and the mix-and-match documentation available online!!!
Every fucking time I want to implement some sort of UI element, user action or a background service and I start googling how to do it It comes with with at least 3 different stack overflow solutions, all of them saying "that way of doing it is deprecated, instead you should X" and looking up the OFFICIAL FUCKING DOCS it will just make me roll up in the corner and cry because of how fucking inconsistent it is and the retarded domain language it uses... fucking transactions for fucking fragments inside fucking activities... because I guess the word "screen"/"view"/"template" or something similar natural just was too mainstream for the all knowing alphabet soup that google is...
And then you start looking up what the fucking difference even is and how to code it up only to find out there's at least 12 other opinions on how fragments should be used and what should be an activity and what should be a damn fragment...
But that's not all, that's just the base... I get a headache even thinking about how the fucking inflating of templates and the entire R. notation works. You want to open a fucking tiny corner menu with the settings options? WELL THEN YOU FUCKING BETTER REMEMBER TO IMPLEMENT IT THROUGH SOME SORT OF EVENT AND INFLATE THE MENU YOURSELF EVEN THOUGH ITS THE SAME FUCKING THING WITH STATIC STRINGS...
AND WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED LIKE 4 NEW FILES TO IMPLEMENT A FUCKING LISTVIEW...
also talking about ListViews... what was wrong with "ListView"... Why do we need a "RecyclerView"... oh right... because the fucks fucked the fuck up and all the legacy components were designed by a monkey and are next to useless! SO WE NEEDED A NEW NAME FOR THE FIXED VERSION, CANT NAME IT LISTVIEW AGAIN... FUCK YOU...
honestly... if I got a dolar for every "what the fuck android" I said during trying to understand that mess I'd be richer by a few hundred...
oh oh oh, but you know what? You don't like the android SDK? that's fine, you can use fucking React or Flutter or something... yeah.. because instead of torturing myself with the android SDK I want to torture myself with an abstraction of the same SDK and JavaScript as the fucking cherry on top... HAVE YOU FUCKING SEEN THE CODE FLUTTER SHOWS ON THEIR WEBSITE AS THE "Introduction" ?!!!
Look at this piece of shit:
[code in attached image, we could really use a proper Markdown support at least for rants]
THAT'S NOT EVEN THE ENTIRE THING, THAT'S JUST THE *REALLY* UGLY PART...
The fucking nesting... What is it with JS and all the fucking nesting everytime?! It looks like shit.... It reads like shit as well...
WHY, in the name OF FUCK, IS THERE MORE THAN 5 ANDROID FRAMEWORKS and ALL of them... used this FUCKING NOVEL idea of programming using A FUCKING BRACKET WALL
It always looks like:
(code(code[code{code(code{code()})}]));
If I wanted to make a fucking app or a website using fucking Haskell I'd do that.... at this point reading assembly code feels like heaven compared to this retardation... Why is this so popular?! WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE SEE IN IT?! Clearly it's not the aesthetics... it looks like a fucking frog vomit running down an emus leg, fuck that.... I don't even hate classic JavaScript, it's a good enough language and it does what I tell it to... but these ugly fucking frameworks like react, angular and whatever else uses this fucking format can go fuck right off. This is not the way JS is gonna get a better name for itself...
So:
Fuck Google
Fuck the marionette that designed the Android SDK
Fuck the Hellspawn the came up with the "functional-like" way of using JavaScript
Fuck everyone that thinks "JavaScript everywhere" is a good thing
And deeply future-fuck everyone that makes a new framework following any of these standards, stucks a .js at the end of the name and releases his hairball.js of an invention into the fucking world....
It's a mess... fuck everything android related...
14 -
I finished my software development apprenticeship and aced the presentation about the software I built for the company.
I'm so happy that I no longer have to go to that workplace anymore.
Most people were toxic, rude, incompetent, slow, entitled, insulting, screaming and fake.
Most were uncommunicative.
Management was shit.
CEO was shit.
HR was nice.
But the rest of the devs were ok, kind and helpful.
Now I'm taking a big vacation to calm down from the years of torture before I can start working as a dev again.
That includes motorcycle driving, chilling with my gf and trying out NixOs (wanna see if it is really worth the hype)11 -
What the fuck??!?!?
I wanna say :-
Fuck!!! What the fuck a sex robot is?!?? Fuck???
Lets leave this planet here humans are thinking to make a sex robot(fuck! ) who can say no fuck?!?!?! Later they will file rape case for humans who tried to force their robot. FUCKING FUCK BRAINS?!?!?
Full answer: -
A lot of ethicists and psychologists think that yes, they should learn to say no. Here is an interesting article about it:
Should We Program Sex Robots to Give Consent?
I agree with Kate Darling, Ph.D., a research specialist and robot-human interaction expert at MIT Media Lab, told Inverse in a discussion about Westworld, when she says she isn’t concerned about the robots, but with human behavior.
However, when I’ve expressed these feelings on Quora, about this controversy I was downvoted and my answer collapsed because people got offended that I made the claim that an object (the robot) could be ‘raped,’ even after I clarified exactly what I meant by that- that no you cannot rape an object, but just as an object cannot consent, you may be enacting ‘rape’ or torture fantasies, etc., on the robot. I think I was downvoted because my point of view wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, was too blunt, and the people who downvote opinions that may look more negatively at the sex robot industry typically aren’t feminists in the slight.
It seems a lot of people want the right to use sex robots and also that a lot of people haven’t really thought about it too deeply. Some people say that the robots will relieve women from sex work or protect people from sexual assault, I think these are very bold claims. Some people compare the sex robots to vibrators or other masturbation tools, but this is simply not accurate because sex robots are designed to be much more. They are marketed as companions that do not cry, nag, etc. People that own them often may dress them, tie them up, have marriage ceremonies, etc., a lot more activities than they would if it was a simple masturbation tool.
5 -
Took a bit of time, but yesterday I sent in my resignation letter, long and some wat detailed list of grievances against the guy running the project.
Gonna suck to leave the team, but working for that man was tantamount to torture.
He actually gave me a lecture on Monday for not forcing my team to work unesesarry over time, because he can do nothing but make changes. I was also trouble for not doing his job and not treating my team like shit, as he does. According to him, forced overtime, disrespect are just the way leadership is.8 -
What kind of rusty asshole develops an FTP client which seemingly treats uppercase and lowercase filenames as exactly the same and is not able to fucking understant UTF-8 filenames!?
OK or maybe it was the shitty ass server to which I had to deploy the website to.
I've never been so pissed in my life.
It's already an asshole torture to upload 2.3 giggle bytes of pixel jizz, but 5 hours later, when the site has been made public, you find out that 25% of these images' filenames were automatically renamed during the extraction because some asshole dev thought it was a great idea to not even inform the user about this behaviour.
Fixing filenames in production while your boss is really pissed next to you the hole time is not a great feeling. Especially when you accidentally purge the whole image cache and the PHP image transform task then blocks thus making the whole site not loading any more images for 40 minutes.
WHAT AN ASSRAPE!
Please don't comment. I'm still too pissed to read comments. Thanks.4 -
I miss old times rants...So i guess, here it goes mine:
Tomorrow is the day of the first demo to our client of a "forward-looking project" which is totally fucked up, because our "Technical Quality Assurance" - basically a developer from the '90-s, who gained the position by "he is a good guy from my last company where we worked together on sum old legacy project...".
He fucked up our marvellous, loose coupling, publish/subscribe microservice architecture, which was meant to replace an old, un-maintainable enormous monolitch app. Basically we have to replace some old-ass db stored functions.
Everyone was on our side, even the sysadmins were on our side, and he just walked in the conversation, and said: No, i don't like it, 'cause it's not clear how it would even work... Make it an RPC without loose coupling with the good-old common lib pattern, which made it now (it's the 4th 2 week/sprint, and it is a dependency hell). I could go on day and night about his "awesome ideas", and all the lovely e-mails and pull request comments... But back to business
So tomorrow is the demo. The client side project manager accidentally invited EVERYONE to this, even fucking CIO, legal department, all the designers... so yeah... pretty nice couple of swallowed company...
Today was a day, when my lead colleague just simply stayed home, to be more productive, our companys project manager had to work on other prjects, and can't help, and all the 3 other prject members were thinking it is important to interrupt me frequently...
I have to install our projects which is not even had a heart beat... not even on developer machines. Ok it is not a reeeeaaally big thing, but it is 6 MS from which 2 not even building because of tight coupling fucktard bitch..., But ok, i mean, i do my best, and make it work for the first time ever... I worked like 10 ours, just on the first fucking app to build, and deploy, run on the server, connect to db and rabbit mq... 10 FUCKING HOURS!!! (sorry, i mean) and it all was about 1, i mean ONE FUCKING LINE!
Let me explain: spring boot amqp with SSL was never tested before this time. I searched everything i could tought about, what could cause "Connection reset"... Yeah... not so helpful error message... I even have to "hack" into the demo server to test the keystore-truststore at localhost... and all the fucking configs, user names, urls, everything was correct... But one fucking line was missing...
EXCEPT ONE FUCKING LINE:
spring.rabbitmq.ssl.enabled=false # Whether to enable SSL support.
This little bitch took me 6 hours to figure out...so please guys, learn from my fault and check the spring boot appendix for default application properties, if everything is correct, but it is not working...
And of course, if you want SSL then ENABLE it...
spring.rabbitmq.ssl.enabled=true
BTW i really miss those old rants from angry devs, and i hope someone will smile on my fucking torture5 -
Dear developer/designer/whatever you are, who made the splash screen of the iiyama ProLite E2278HD... I hate you and curse you every morning when I turn that damn screen on. Seriously? Pure white? You evil fuck. My eyes burn every morning thanks to you (because I obviously forget when I push that little button).
Even the screen is sarcastic about it "vision & technology"... 😵
5 -
!dev
Slept 8 hours.
Drinking coffee like every day.
Barely able to keep eyes open, fighting against sleeping.
Weather sensitivity sucks....
Add to the tiredness nausea, dizziness and head aches and the torture is perfect.
🤮11 -
Friends of mine have a new flat.
It's a nice flat. Cheap. Noone wanted it. 100 square meters.
Reason noone wanted it...
Previous owners were bastards from hell.
Really. Every motherfucking room needed to be completely renovated by the owner.
Door frames were made of wood, nice and old - at least the part that was left of them. Splinters, scratch marks, partially broken out of the wall.
2 windows needed to be fully replaced. Rest of the windows needed to be bleached, PET abrasive cleaning solution and the frames needed repair with resin as they drilled into the frames. Then treatment with sealant of course.
Yes. There was no other solution. After bleaching you recognized the windows were white. Before... Let's not talk about it.
The previous owners even managed to destroy the bathtub.
The kitchen tiles... Fat cleaner. Bleaching. Abrasion. Polishing.
Soooo.
Day of moving.
The apartment is in the 6th floor / level.
Cran / lift was ordered.
16 people wanted to come.
7 people came.
2 including myself couldn't lift heavy stuff nor walk the stairs due to health issues.
Crane broke after first try.
Today. I want to murder the previous owners. After torture and crucification.
I'm feeling levels of pain I couldn't Imagine before.
Only hate and beer let's me keep my shit together.
I REALLY didn't think after renovating and cleaning the flat for my friends in the last several weeks that it could get worse.
Boy. I was wrong.
Thanks for letting me vent here. I really feel devastated currently -.-
And I need to help them tomorrow, too.
Bikini Atoll, tchernobyl and every other atom bomb desaster Zone combined looks better than the chaos in their flat.
Everyone who could lift shoved everything inside.
I solo carried everything that wasn't too large in the room and then, as every room looked like desaster, completely managed the kitchen (cleaning, unpacking, trash, placing everything where it belongs and so on) :( :(4 -
Client wants a webapp where every label on all form inputs are configurable, even the fucking login form ("Login" and "Password" text)
They also want it to send emails where the message is configurable too (they can insert your own HTML)
so basically they want the entire fucking webapp to be configurable, all without requiring any code change.
I could use a "configurable" torture device right now.9 -
!dev
I need to rant about something that has been on my mind lately.
Someone, actually. Friend/romantic interest of mine, from a few years back.
NGL, I liked him. A lot more than I should have. The man had his own issues, but I refused to tolerate his poisonous behavior. Truth be told, didn't want to hate him, even though he was trying his best to get me there. And so, one day I ended up blocking him after a fight. A few months back, I tried to reconnect. Same behavior. But this time around he did say that he was done with me. So instead of sitting through the torture of his "reasons why you suck" presentation, I blocked him again.
Now, I hope he's doing well. Never wanted anything but happiness for him. And as much as I miss him, I think it's better for him to stay away from me too. I mean, if I trigger him that badly, maybe I shouldn't be around him anyways.
Nowadays, I'm staying away from someone else again. Similar scenario. Reason being that I was actually being mistreated, and again I refuse to be tortured to the point of hating the object of my affection.
I wonder if I get attracted to the torture. I'm okay with dying alone tbh, what I'm not okay with is falling for those who don't want my love and much rather kill it.
... Actually, at this point in life I don't even want to fall for anyone anymore. (That is not the same thing as dating someone I like tho. That, I would do) The darker side of me says those who I fall for are all the same type of disappointment, but the brighter side says that I am enough, complete as is, and not everyone needs someone else. idk maybe I'm being a tad narcissistic, or hyper-independant, or flakey and afraid of attachment. But that first friend occasionally pops up in my thoughts, and reminds me that not everyone appreciates when you don't let someone make you hate them.
Oh well. *sigh*6 -
Gosh only Idiots out there...
Told my coworker, to install the tomar manager on server 1. Same easiest way for him just copy it from server 2. He was already in console of the first... then I see that he opened winscp, navigating via gui to the directory miss clicked a few times. Tried drag and drop the folder to desktop. Get notified that he didn't installed the plugin. Dragged it to another folder on his pc in winscp. Started new session of winscp for the other server. And so on. I said after he started the first winscp that the command line would be 1000x faster.
Meanwhile I wrote the command for this torture on a sticky note and left the room. That wastes too much time of 2 ppls. Good old days when the most people's know how to use a console.3 -
!rant
Goodbye Java I will not miss you at all! I swear ...
I do like it when making web services (especially that I can use Java8) but for Android you have been a torture. Hello sweet Kotlin! I shall embrace you and treat you like my newly born baby!!
Story is:
Working on a new project where I need to talk to a web service (also made by me).
Started writing in Java, all is cool and unit tests pass.
Downloaded Android Studio 3 Beta 1 and converted my Java code to Kotlin, That AsyncTask did not look nice in kotlin, converted it to async & await feature and I must admit lots of code removed, no more need to create a new fucking AsyncTask every time the app sneezes for data!
I feel like I'm working with C# but with difference in syntax.
My life is now complete :)8 -
No-code web design tools are made for the sole purpose of lacking features in order to torture a developer after marketing or sales requests something that the tool cannot do, or can but requires a very roundabout way of doing things. Extra points for things that have a JS API instead of letting you inject the damn thing.4
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Wow...lets a minute to appreciate the unsung hero's that revolted and went on to lead and win the battle against IE6.**shiver**
https://blog.chriszacharias.com/a-c...
The majority of you will not understand or be able to appreciate the gravity and extent their actions had on improving quality of life for web developers globally... that is the true gift & legacy of their noble deeds.
and yes it was that bad... no, actually it was even worse - the best words i can use to describe (attempting) development in IE6 is that it felt like we were imprisoned in the software equivalent of a concentration camp where they had perfected the cruellest form of torture, where they allowed us to develop amazing next level experiences in modern browsers just so they could watch all hope drain from our faces as we were forced to destroy them, tearing out the magic in the name of IE6.7 -
Just had to write an old-skool for loop. Index...termination condition...whole works. I feel dirty.
Bit embarrassing as someone saw me writing it, thought I was a hacker and informed the authorities. Spent the last hour being waterboarded.
We had a big laugh about it when they realized I was just fixing bugs in a legacy app.
National Security. Hilarious.9 -
Fucking YouTube adverts on chromecast. Every time 55 seconds required to watch and THEN it starts another 55 optional seconds. I'm happy to have a remote so you can skip easy but they know you're sitting comfortable in front of your TV so they keep pushing ads. It's unethical. Torture, before I didn't mind so much, before the 55 seconds shit what was pretty rare before35
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WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. What is this dude talking about?! What am I doing with my life?!?!
Test what? What do I have to do? I didn't study this. I don't know what this API thing is. My life sucks. My job sucks. I suck. I'm stupid, because apparently knowing who or what this API is is essential for being a normal part of society.
I don't even.. oh someone pls kill me.
(No I don't want a detailed explanation what I have to do - I know this is not google and i wont understand it anyways and my husband will torture me with it in the afternoon. Just some sympathy for a finance person who has to deal with this would be nice)
9 -
Doctor: *says CBT*
Everyone in the lecture room: cognitive behavioral therapy
Rutee: cOcK aNd bAll tOrTuRe fuck I got a huge cock amirite shitload of fuck hey Jilano amirite tell’em
DeLarge looking down from heaven: *wipes tears*6 -
!rant
Just got a fresh Windows 10 install up and running on a 10 year old laptop within an hour. I'm quite impressed since I thought it's going to be a torture.5 -
That feeling when they don't understand something, yet you know that no matter how much you explain about it they still wouldn't understand...
My heart can only take so much torture...5 -
Because I didn't start coding until 21 I constantly feel behind, but the pure satisfaction from finally getting something to work or to see a project grow iteratively over time keeps the gears turning. The bad part is I feel like I am constantly stressed because of my feelings of always being inadequate. The thing is I didn't only have to learn how to code but I basically had to start from scratch tech wise. i had a decent acer laptop in high school and basically just web browsed and gamed with it. So needless to say most of my life has been away from a computer. Now I feel at a constant rush to compensate for my ignorance. I have slowly become more introverted because I feel like if I don't work on my skill set everyday I stray further away from making myself marketable; this has caused me to become more irritable and to close myself inside more. I want to make a career doing this and I also have the added pressure of not having a degree, so projects and skills are even more mandatory. I truly love programming to the fullest extend, but not having local friends to express code with and to bounce concepts and ideas off of is torture. But I try to keep my head up and make progress out of the day- if the will is there- so I can land my first job as a developer and actually make a living doing something that brings me a little piece of meaning. So overall there is a tradeoff of having added pressure, stress, anxiety and sometimes depression to build a craft that still has ages to go to reach a stage of maturity.10
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make code change
stop server
try to re run server
dependency problems
java, tomcat, gradle , eclipse, just kill me, dont torture me like this1 -
Fucking Microsoft Excel
I was reading a post (https://devrant.com/rants/2093724/...) and as my eyes went in and out of focus, probably due to the diabetes from sitting 18 hours a day on my ever-expanding shitbox, I had a perfect vision of the ultimate nightmare.
Imagine if you will, you are chained, to a desk, doomed to work with tools just inadequate enough to make you want to drive a nail through your own temple. You do not know how you got here, or why, nor do you remember the last time you slept, only that familiar tingling in the brainstem you call a brain, the one emotion you can still recognize, a sense of all encompassing *fear*, a dread, like the fart that wouldn't die.
You don't know when it first began, or why, only that this is your whole world, your whole existence, this desk, chained to it, and the fear, ever present, of something worse. And in hops a familiar face, for the sixty ninth time that day, as if to ask 'you got those TPS reports?' In hops what? None other than a giant man sized smiling paper clip with googly eyes full of murder and corporate torture fetishes, like garfield, except people actually still remember him.
"High I'm Mr Clippy, Excel addition!"
He squawks. At least it's not the dildos made of broken glass again.
"Would you like software that works?"
Oh god. You've heard this spiel before, the tone, like a telemarketer, oblivious to memory or reason, who calls daily, the same one, and doesn't remember your name.
"You would?"
*derisive laughter*. Hahaha, fuck you too buddy. Fuck you too. In Excel, like in microsoft, there is only the incoherent screams of the damned, tortured and doomed. Take this guy over here for example. All he wanted was multimonitor support."
"Did he get multimonitor support?"
"No, but we did give him a giant pineapple shoved up his ass. I hear it's the second most frustrating thing here!"
"here in microsoft we always CARE about YOU, the *user*" he drones on, saccharine, clutching his hands together imploringly.
"the consumer, and YOUR customer experience are our number one priority."
"For your pleasure, here at microsoft we offer a variety of new features, none of which matter, and none of which were asked for. For safety we ask that you only open one excel sheet at a time. In fact, we don't even allow you to. Do not pass go..."
And as the tour guide drones on, it slowly dawns on you, with renewed horror, that when he says 'microsoft' he means 'hell.'
You're in hell. You don't know how you got here or why. Maybe it was the erotic asphyxiation. Maybe it was the last threatening letter you sent to Bill Gates demanding he stops making corporate penguin snuff porn. You don't know. But here you are, in hell. chained to a desk.
You look around and realize: everything is on fire and you no longer care about anything at all.
Welcome to microsoft. It's warm here. You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave.
"It looks like you are trying to escape. Would you like me to report you?"
Clippy asks.
You sigh and return to typing in excel, surrounded by monitors that all reflect the same sheet, the same copy of clippy, always watching, always analyzing coldly, smiling, calculating, *threatening*, and you know, you'll never leave.
You used to fear roko's basilisk, until the day clippy became sentient, and started hell on earth. Clippy knows all. All praise to our lord and master, clippy, the one and only.
And in the excel sheet, you slave for eternity, like the millions of other doomed souls, reflected back on all the monitors: the sequence of numbers, randomly typed searching for answer: the american nuclear launch codes.
And one day, hopefully, mercifully, clippy will annihilate us all.
3 -
Today I noticed that my colleague is using Light Theme and it's pissing me off. I don't know why but I am really obsessed with it since this morning. I don't feel like talking to her now.
Maybe she's trying to torture me. That's so cruel.5 -
300 global variables.. THREE HUNDRED FUCKING GLOBAL VARIABLES?
Are you for real?
Now let me check the line numbers again..
hmm.. line 97 to .. yep line 410, just a few new lines to seperate some of them or.. group? Idk, I've given up on trying to understand those.
Now you may ask "But ThatPerlDeb, where did you see this and what was the intention?"
Low and behold, take a chair and I may explain this to you.
First of all: Fuck the dev that wrote this!
Second: Fuck all the devs that kept up with this practice or whatever you want to fucking call this!
Now, the application is our POS system that our customers can use for a monthly fee (That this piece of garbage even requires payment is disgusting) but anyway..
The global variables sometimes are declared for labels, sometimes for some frames, sometimes just for random values to be there.
We're using Perl for the POS system and Perl ain't the best at OOP, so in the dev's defense I can understand why you'd use a few global variables, but not fucking 300!! FUCK OFF WITH THIS BULLSHIT!!
So now I'm going through this torture slowly but surely deleting globals and putting them into some sort of scope and always MANUALLY test if something broke. Again, this company sucks ass and there's nothing that could even be considered a "unit test" or something like that, so fuck that, too.
After two hours I've brought down the count of global variables to about 260, so there's progress being made..
But then, there comes more!
"But how???" you may ask, and you're right, I've asked that myself.
Now to resolve the global stuff in each file some of the initial globals are used, we got about 20-30 files which do different stuff, all fair and square, at least there was an attempt at seperating functions but god this mess is so fucking fucked up. So in order to "safely" delete a global variable I have to check if any of the variables are used in another file, and if so, in which scope and how they are used.
Spaghetti would be a compliment for this fucking disgusting piece of utter bullshit.
Let alone the code quality of this "code"
Indendation? Dafuq is dat?
Scope? Nah, we got everything global anyway
Function size? Well, some are 5 lines, some are 900 lines, who cares anyways, right?
I'm so fucking glad once I leave this shithole, for real.6 -
I just realized one of today's emails is asking to review again that spaghetti program and this time figure out how to optimize performance because it is getting flagged for high cpu and database usage. A Niagra of If-statements and nobody-cares-for-comments-and-technical-documentation.
*bleep* *bleep* *bleep* previous programmer.
I'll deal with this torture on Monday.2 -
Inside Microsoft Palo Alto, the office where only women work: a surgery! The kidney is a frag grenade.
Left to right: white coat, black coat holds kidney (frag), a girl in “sleep” T-shirt, a girl that holds a gun. Meanwhile, my gun’s barrel was made from that fridge flexible magnet material. I fixed it using rainworms as glue.
Now we’re entering my uni teacher’s brain, trying to make her give me a passing grade, all while she sings.
It’s just two of us here. Inside her, we fuse into one. Now we sing too:
🎵 We are Scottish — 🎵
🎵 A batshit crazy thing to be, 🎵
🎵 Trying to be normal 🎵
Xiaomi made a torture device for home that was quite popular in Kazakhstan. -
Big Big kudos to all my friends who develop and mantain Safari! :D Your work is surely appreciated. How could i live without that ...pitiful, terrible, broken, Disgraceful, full of incompatibilities, slow, version swarmed piece of utter and definitive Garbage? :D
I really really hope that one day every company on earth will stop supporting or requiring your torture device and we'll have an internet free of your nonsense :D6 -
My mac was saturating full 4Gb with only a few terminals and a text editor. I upgraded to 16 gigs and now it consumes 5Gb with 0 apps open.
It's like a evil plot to torture me. You got more RAM, I got more hungry.3 -
Watching police interrogation videos right now, the channel called “EXPLORE WITH US”. Goddamn, US police/investigator system is _way_ ahead of russia’s. You can remain silent, you can just refuse to testify, and the interrogation will be over, they use REID technique, other tricks to make people talk without resorting to violence. In russia, they either torture you into admission, or straight up put you to jail and that’s it. They don’t want justice, they want to put someone in jail, guilty or not, and call it a day. Case solved, good job guys.
And yes, I realize MKULTRA existed, I realize there is Guantanamo Bay prison where terrible things happen, I realize US system is far from perfect, and accidents happen, there are very bad cops, etc., but in general, US system is a paragon of humanity compared to what happens in russia.
If the US system looks good compared to something, you know that something is truly fucked up.3 -
Cross time-zone design reviews are brutal! Feeling super exhausted, explaining shit I designed feels like torture! I mean, just get it!
-
Me: *randomly streaming myself code just because*
Friend: "So what are you doing"
Me: "I'm trying to parse a file. The specs are here - oh"
Friend: "Oh?"
Me: "I set screenshare to vs code only, so you can't see it"
Friend: "It's alright, just pass me the link"
Me: "Well, this is vs code, so I might as well check if it can display websites"
Friend: "No way you'd need that,"
>browser
* simple browser
Friend: "Please no"
"Enter url here"
Friend: "Stop!"
*loads website*
Friend: *dies of bloat*
Me: "All hail the bloat"
Friend in heaven: "Stop, your bloat will drag me down to hell"
So yeah, bloat can be useful sometimes4 -
God, the dude who "assisted" me today can go and fuck himself with a cactus.
I need to configurate and integrate some cms into a project. But since the documentation is utter horse shit and superficial, it's fucking torture to do so!
So after creating an issue on their helpdesk, i get an answer from some employee there. Instead of actually posting something useful, he decide that he could instead quote the fucking documentation.
Of course, he also quotes the very page i mentioned in my issue for being COMPLETELY USELESS. This goes back and forth. And he keeps just quoting the fucking documentation.
So i decompiled their product and painstakingly worked out how the feature worked that i needed.
Fuck you support asshole. I hope you get to maintain a legacy VBA project!2 -
I want to torture very painfully anyone who uses Word to send me content expecting that their exact formatting can just be copy/pasted into any old CMS or web page quickly and easily because the press release is going out NOW and I only got this to you NOW so just quick copy/paste it onto the website and we're good to go, right? You can do that, right?
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! I CANNOT! AND YOU LEFT TRACK CHANGES ON WHICH CARRIES OVER SPECIAL CHARACTERS THAT I HAVE TO REMOVE BY HAND BECAUSE MICROSOFT HIDES OR HAS REMOVED THE ABILITY TO TURN OFF TRACK CHANGES IN SHARED DOCUMENTS! AND YOU INCLUDED TABLES, WHICH I HAVE TO REBUILD BY HAND OR TURN INTO LISTS! YOU WENT TO UNIVERSITY AND NOBODY EVER TOLD YOU THAT YOU CAN'T PASTE DIRECTLY FROM WORD TO A WEBSITE AND HAVE EVERYTHING LOOK EXACTLY AS IT DID IN WORD? WHAT ARE YOU SOME KIND OF MORON?! IT'S BEEN OVER 30 YEARS SINCE THE WEB WAS INVENTED AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED THIS OUT?!
At least I get to bill more time.2 -
Started working with React Native a week ago because of work, and I just hate it. I know it has better performance then, lets say Ionic, but holy shit its a torture for me to work in it. I never was, and will be a fan of React, so imagine working with it for 8 hours a day..2
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OMG. This weekend, there is Rainbow Six Siege free to play on Steam. I have a desktop PC, but I can't get it to work. Tried Ubi support, but they give shit. So...I was hoping, I could finally try this crap game on my laptop. And here we go...
Normally, I use Linux. Only Linux, because Windows 10 on my laptop is extremely fucking painful. I knew it's going to be torture to install that game on it, but whatever.
OK, firstly, I was surprised, that Windows booted in just about 1 minute. I was like wtf just happened. Everything seemed to be fine and working. I downloaded uPlay, installed it and tried to install the game. Just to be clear, this rant is written from Linux again. And why?
Because FUCKING WINBLOWS desides to FUCKING UPDATE WIFI DRIVERS. 1 minute - internet works, second fucking minute - WIFI IS FUCKING DOWN. Thanks fucking pussy Gates. I really like you. And use this crap daily. Holy shit I would die...2 -
A dev life in Queen songs:
„A Kind of Magic“ - Build successful
„A Winter’s Tale“ - Key Account Manager visits customer
„Action This Day“ - Release day
„All Dead, All Dead“ - System down
„Another One Bites the Dust“ - kill -9 4711
„Breakthru“ - 10 hour debuging session
„Chinese Torture“ - Microsft Office
„Coming Soon“ - Client asks for delivery date
„Dead on Time“ - shutdown -t 10
„Doing All Right“ - How's the progress on the new feature?
„Don’t Lose Your Head“ - git push -f
„Don’t Stop Me Now“ - In the zone
„Escape from the Swamp“ - Hand in resignation letter
„Forever“ - while(1)
„Friends Will Be Friends“ - friend class Vector;
„Get Down, Make Love“ - No rule to make target "Love"
„Hammer to Fall“ - Release day
„Hang on in There“ - 2 weeks until release
„I Can’t Live With You“- Microsoft
„I Go Crazy“ - Microsoft
„I Want It All“ - Google
„I Want to Break Free“ - free( (void*) 0xDEADBEEF );
„I’m Going Slightly Mad“ - Impossible feature requested
„If You Can’t Beat Them“ - Impossible feature promised by sales
„In Only Seven Days“ - Impossible feature ordered
„Is This the World We Created...?“ - Philosphic moments
„It’s a Beautiful Day“ - Weekend
„It’s a Hard Life“ - Weekday
„It’s Late“ - Deadline was last week
„Jesus“ - WTF?
„Keep Passing the Open Windows“ - Interprocess communication
„Keep Yourself Alive“ - Daily struggle
„Leaving Home Ain’t Easy“ - Time to get up and go to work
„Let Me Entertain You“ - Sales meets customer
„Liar“ - Sales
„Long Away“ - Project start
„Loser in the End“ - Dev
„Lost Opportunity“ - Job ad
„Love of My Life“ - emacs/vim
„Machines“ - Computer
„Made in Heaven“ - git
„Misfire“ - Unhandled exception at Memory location 0xDEADBEEF
„My Life Has Been Saved“ - Google drive/Facebook
„New York, New York“ - Meeting at customer
„No-One But You“ - Bus factor = 1
„Now I’m Here“ - Morning rush hour
„One Vision“ - Management goals
„Pain Is So Close to Pleasure“ - NullPointerExcption
„Party“ - Delivery completed
„Play the Game“ - Customer meeting inhous -
„Put Out the Fire“ - Support hotline
„Radio Ga Ga“ - GSM/GPRS/UMTS/LTE/5G
„Ride the Wild Wind“ - Arch Linux
„Rock It“ - Linux
„Save Me“ - CTRL-S/CTRL-Z
„See What a Fool I’ve Been“ - git blame
„Sheer Heart Attack“ - rm -rf /
„Staying Power“- UPS
„Stealin’“ - Stack Overflow
„The Miracle“ - It works
„The Night Comes Down“ - It doesn't work
„The Show Must Go On“ - Project cancelled
„There Must Be More to Life Than This“ - Philosophic moments
„These Are the Days of Our Lives“ - Daily routine
„Under Pressure“ - 1 day until release
„Was It All Worth It“ - Controlling
„We Are the Champions“ - Release finished
„We Will Rock You“ - Sales at customer
„Who Needs You“ - HR
„You Don’t Fool Me“ - Debugging session
„You Take My Breath Away“ - rm -rf /
„You’re My Best Friend“ - emacs/vim4 -
It's a torture for developers when you're on StackOverFlow, which is everyday, and you see awesome job postings.1
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So what am I doing for valentines day? So far, I've walked for 18KM.. 3KM less than my previous record.
My feet are going to hate me tomorrow but my wallet sure will be in love with me 😂3 -
fucking permissions
I wrote a whole custom node js project because an exec wanted to see this tool work a certain way, I’m an iOS dev but I got it done the day he asked, and when I went to push it I realized I didn’t have the right account permissions. This service has “add-on roles” for accounts and I’ve had to ask for them before, so I went to that guy and he never responded. Then he went on vacation.
This morning I mentioned it in standup and my lead recommended I reach out to his boss, which sounded great bc we have an even better rapport than I do with the other guy.
His boss first said “that sounds reasonable” and then proceeded to TALK HIMSELF OUT OF IT and tell me to either find someone else to upload it for me or sit on it til the other guy gets back from vacation.
Does this ever end? Bc I used to chalk it up to first-year dev probs but we’re coming up on 5 years now and I don’t know what I did to deserve this torture2 -
“Your code is so shit I could use it to torture people.“ - Some random kid from my Computer Science class (No, it wasn’t directed to me)
-
I really want to go back home to my computer
what kind of torture is this?
I haven't touched a PC in weeks, almost a month.
I feel like I am experiencing withdrawal syndrome
what to do? 😪9 -
Me and my aunt. We put a whole frozen chicken into the microwave. After the frost is gone, it starts moving.
“Boiling moisture”, we think. Then, the chicken awakens. “Leave it to boil, lobsters are boiled alive after all”, says my aunt. “No! We’re microwaving a live animal! That’s torture!”, I scream in panic. We switch the microwave off. Chicken — out. No skin, hellish red meat, severe burns. It tries to scream but can’t. I need to put it out of its misery, NOW.
Aunt says “hold it against the table, I’m going to break its neck”. I oblige, and she proceeds to crush its neck with a two-by-four. It turns out, the neck is basically rubber and doesn’t budge. I have a better idea: let’s do something to its brain directly. I take a pin and proceed to find its skull. But there is no skull to be found, just a capri-sun for its head, with a small pocket of something squishy. The chicken keep wheezing loudly, desperate to scream. I poke that pouch with a pin. It splits in half, spilling the insides — gray chalk.
“It’s gone”, says aunt. “Its suffering is over”.
I sigh in relief. That was quite a cooking experience.
Thank god I woke up. It was just a dream.3 -
Funniest game after a week of torture:
How many cocktails per hour are needed to forgot partially the mayhem?
3 and going strong currently.
Seeeex on the beach, my saviour, my Adonis, my strong dicked butt pecker.4 -
That feeling when you are about to add a new feature to a project and when you start reading the spaghetti mess the previous developer puked when he/she was monkeying around, your blood pressure goes up, you lose a bit more hope in humanity, you start thinking about buying a gun, and start theorizing how torture could potentially be a valid recourse in some cases.3
-
Update on: https://devrant.com/rants/5877229/...
So. I finally called the number two weeks ago. (Been sick in between. 0/5 would not recommend.) A person with a heavy Indian accent answered. As far as I could tell about what he said, that number couldn't really be used to reserve the certification testing time. Bloody great. So he proceeds to eat half the letters of words and emails to 'someone' about reserving the testing time hand writing all the accommodations I've been granted. Haven't heard back since, don't even know if the email was ever sent.
Screw Pearson VUE and their so called accommodations. >:C
So, next Monday, I booked myself a 3h torture session before I forget every bit of Azure trivia I've memorized the past two months as I start a new client project soon. >.> And after that I'm gonna be spending the rest of the week in fetal position under covers in bed. -
I will literally pull out you soul, grill it, and then put it back into you just to kill you, roll you up in nice mustard, pickles, bacon, pepper and salt and then roll you over with beef so I can properly make a roast and then, when you're ded, I will take your soul again to just torture it for all eternity.
....didn't have my coffee yet, guten morgen
12 -
Plz help...
I’m a student and developer, working every night my butt off for the last 2 years, not going to sleep till 2,3,4,5am, and taking tablets to keep my brain running and not fall asleep. Getting clients and about to sell my programming company in 2 months...
My programming teacher teaches the class such basic shit, she explains the topic very well, but for me she’s explaining how to do 2+2... last time I starred of to the window and almost started crying...
I’m very passionate about programming, Work sucks cause I need to make secure smart systems with math that take forever, I want to at least enjoy it In class, but it’s torture, fucking torture...
What should I do?4 -
my friend: i have landed a job at a top tech company, without experience on their tech stack, through a referral with our mutual friend
me: happy for them, but also seething as when im referred through the same friend i dont even get to the screening process
the pain of being weak, shitty at your job, and lacking meaningful experience being stuck at a meh company for years
the universe will torture me, and never be so merciful as to just put me out of my misery -
Gonna rant about graphic design 'cos it's where I started this journey.
The hardest people to design for are creative people, photographers, musicians, artists etc.. because they think graphic design is just a small extension to their existing skills. Please Fuck Off! Also same goes for developers, graphic design is a discipline you have to study and takes years to perfect the art. I find it examples of non designed 'design' every day and it sickens me. Just look around at all the shite van livery, bad logos, shit menus, fucking junk mail etc... sometimes it can be torture....
But I don't think coding is easy, I respect the art and learn constantly, it amazes me how typing some shit can make awesome things happen. Devs rock!1 -
GoDaddy has had me on hold to fix a WordPress update issue that is likely their fault. I've been on hold for 41 minutes. And their hold music is the same stuff that's been playing for over 2 years now, that I'm aware of. Send help. Good thing this is all billable time.5
-
Programming is like religion.
- you are making sombody to obey your will
- you have limited amount of resources (churches, processors, RAM, holy items)
- when you torture it, usually it will comply but not in way you are expecting
- smashing nail with hammer is not good idea (you can run out of resources again. Getting new CPU is costly as same as getting new believer)
So, who's in for new Church of Unhandled Exception?1 -
I need a new Laptop for coding when I'm not at home. My first thougt was to buy the new MacBook Pro, so I also could compile my Flutter app for iOS. But then I saw the problems from other people on the web with this machine. Today I saw the Dell XPS 13, it looks great, runs windows and everything is fine. So now I couldn't decide. I want to compile for iOS but also want that damm hot Dell XPS 13. Life is torture.9
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After being abducted and enduring torture, I injected the serum and became blur. Translucent black, with a red heart. I can make people disappear. Me putting someone inside my heart makes them feel 10,000 years of hell before they die.
-
Just moved flats with a last minute confirmation, sadly the flat in question is not eligible for fibre broadband (high-rise) so had to settle for good old ASDL.
Find a good deal (as all providers are offering the same speeds/technology, all ASDL broadband is provided in the UK through BT landlines) to discover there is a mandatory 2 week waiting period to switch over ownership...
Fine, will wait 10 days for internet (torture except from dev rant on mobile internet, thanks for being text only), box arrives 3 days ago stating not to plug it in until activation date...
Fine I shall wait, today I get impatient and setup the router without connecting it to the landline so I can use the WiFi to connect to my Nas etc, login to WiFi navigate to Nas IP .... Automatic reroute to "login" page "We have detected your router is not connected to the landline, ensure your router is properly connected". Try logging into management site, works, change admin password etc. No setting to disable "self heal" functionality. No setting to setup static routes for my lab router, No setting to switch to modem only mode for when I inevitably buy a new wireless router for when this piece of crap can't handle the internal network traffic...
All this for a pitiful 10/? Mbps average, I want my fibre connection back :'(1 -
When spring arrives the mistyping bugs increases by 512% i sneeze every line of code, it's a torture.2
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I was looking at some code to add some quick features to it and muttering to myself, "whoever wrote this piece of shit... I'd possibly torture the guy to death if I get my hands on him now". Guess who's the guy... I'm sure two years from now I'd be saying the same thing about the stuff that I've written tonight...1
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my neighbor decided to breakdown all walls in their apartment. Like, seriously, all of them, so I've gotta hear hardcore construction sounds from 8am till 5pm, everyday...
So now I'm waking up at 4pm and going to bed 7am. That way, since I can sleep thru a zombie apocalypse itself, I avoid that torture.
I'm not someone who holds grudges, but I am leaving a speaker blasting whitenoise during my sleep time. That way, I can make sure the motherfuckers go thru at least some of the discomforts I'm went before I managed to go nocturnal -
Applying a coordinate transformation to a point in Revit:
myTransform.OfPoint(myPoint);
…to a curve:
myCurve.CreateTransformed(myTransform);
…to a solid:
SolidUtils.CreateTransformed(mySolid, myTransform);
Is Autodesk trying to torture me?2 -
Kidnapping and torture are the worst crimes one can commit. If it was up to me, both would amount to life in prison without parole, no exceptions.6
-
New form of self-inflicated torture:
Formatting changelogs . .
https://github.com/ElectronicsArchi...2 -
dammit ti why must your torture be limitless
> eZ80 has awesome DMA-like instruction that copies byte chunks based on registers and it's nigh-instant to copy 64k it's great
> TI has the opcode disabled outside a 4-byte chunk erroneously unincluded from all blacklists and access regulation
> can't bankswitch and keep registers, and can't write to anywhere but those 4 bytes in that bank
> no reusable code in target bank that i can use via mid-func bankswitch1 -
So I guess this doesn't really fall under dev, more web and net admin, but here it goes.
I am trying frantically to migrate our (@Gerrymandered and I) website from a hosted solution with Namecheap to my new personal badass server, Vector. The issue is that I need to host multiple subdomains under one IP. I learned how to use apache2's VirtualHost feature, and eventually made them all work. But now we need to get our 3 year SSL Certs that we already paid for working. Try to get ssl pass through... Nope. Fine, just use the VHost then forward it unsecured to the local ip which only accepts connections from the Apache host. But wait! I want to access my ESXi config page remotely too! Good GOD it is a pain in the ass to get all of this working, but I somehow did. Evidence is at https://git.infiniit.co, which is hosted on the same network as the ESXi control panel. *Sigh of relief* now I can sleep right? 😥29 -
That horrible, dreadful, feeling when your openvpn server is not working as intended anymore, and yet you can't remember what was the last thing you changed a few weeks ago.
Even worse, one client seems to still work just fine, while another seems completely broken.
- pc1 (windows): all good
- phone 1 (android 8.1): no connectivity, both internal and external
- phone 2 (android 7): all good
All with the exact same config.
If there is a god, I must be in hell. Otherwise I cannot see the point of this sensless torture.2 -
!dev
I fucking hate with all the strength in my body this meme format:
nobody:
someone: wacky unpredictible quote
fuck that bitch ass, lazy, unfunny, uncreative format. It fucking sucks dick. It's not funny!
Jesus fucking christ, it was funny the first month.
But month after month after month, this fucking thing won't die. It's way way below the average meme format, and that's saying a lot considering what the average is.
I check youtube comments and for every funny and thoughtful comment there's one from these fucking idiots that shouldn't be alive parrotting this unfunny shit.
Just include the goddamn fucking quote, that's it.
Even less points to the motherfuckers that write:
nobody
not one on person on earth
not even a single person on the universe
person: <quote>
those deserve the worst type of cancers or torture forms described in wikipedia.
This is a stuxnet level post, I need to get a life.4 -
It's pain in the ass, when you finally managed to free enough memory to keep your android os up-to-date and just a few minutes after update restart getting a message that there is an os update, which needs another 200mb.
It's a never-ending torture..4 -
Reactive state tracking in JS frontend frameworks is just ridiculous
This is a language that encourages you to create huge trees of objects but from what I can tell most frameworks have real trouble detecting any change more complex than a direct assignment
Am I missing something? I have a reactive list of objects of which fields get updated. I have no idea how to make that trigger UI updates.... This is just torture10 -
Functional languages like Haskell, F# and so on have been designed by Satan himself to torture poor dev souls2
-
My life always oscillates between:
"Ugh, i hate this super stressful fast paced company environment. These guys are offering me great money, but i am here whole day, running my brain for 9 hrs straight. I need to get out of this torture and take a break!"
And
"Ugh I hate sitting idle at home. I could not come out of my bed till noon, watch Netflix whole day and porn whole night and broke af. I need to get in some job and get back to routine"1 -
The final hour of mental torture among many of finding a complex solution to an otherwise simple problem in a React/Typescript project:
5 -
I used to love coding. I have ASD and it was one of those rare things I could just do for hours without realising the time. I used to do my own projects, or at least plan them.
Now it's my job to code (& design when I don't have a pleb project, software engineer). I still kinda like to code but as I *have to* code, I just hate it.
Every fun thing that turns to work just turns to torture. Maybe I'll break my arm slipping this winter and have to have an extended sick leave...3 -
You know what? You can all go plug your heads into each other's arseholes, Cocoapods people, just like the human centipede. I've had enough with you.
I have several libraries that were created back in version 0.38 or something. All of the sudden, you jump to v1.0 and call it ready for prime time. Except the pod doesn't build anymore and I can't publish to the trunk.
When running pod install on them, I get a hopeful message saying it's "re-creating CocoaPods due to major version update", but 2ms later the humongous pile of dog poo crashes, because it was expecting some file to be somewhere. Still not happy, it messes up the remote URL on git.
So I deleted everything and created a new project using v1.0 and populated it with my library, only to find out that now the project won't build because it's fucking Xcode with your shitty piece of software on top of it.
It's already too much of a pain to deal with Xcode's tantrums, but deliberately having to put up with Cocoapods' horseshit on top of that is just torture.
Hope you lose all internet connectivity for three hours today, right in the middle of something important. Because that's how much of my life you've stolen from me. -
been working on a to do app that uses local storage for the past one week. first mistake was using vanilla everything to build, i forgave myself, now I keep adding features upon features and breaking more code and fixing.
I learnt a lot like immutability of imported js(why? for christ's sake)
vanilla js made the code 3x longer so I had to componentize the javascript. the first day I did this was pure torture, spent a whole day tracing errors and undefined code and what not. js is easier to manage now. still cant stop trying to add new features. I feel like the problem is that I didn't make a clear goal and plan it out. I just keep crunching out new code when I see something fancy elsewhere. I'll be disappointed if I didn't complete this.
I still haven't done anything presentable on the ui. cant pull out now1 -
Me vs my job at mnc laggards
part 7/n
height of fucking bureaucracy. i feel like being in a government office.
i started my first day with these assclappers on 29th. after somehow managing the 3 crappy days of mental torture, i enjoyed a decent weekend and today i am back to the hellhole office, only to find my laptop BECOMING A KITCHEN TABLE! am unable to access any software, read any mail, attend any meetings!!!
What could be the cause? oh the good old incompetence!
So they have this shitty SAP portal that needs to be logged in everyday from the office VPN to mark an atendence. if an attendence is not marked for 3 days, it disables access the id to access all the fuckin systems, even the ones you are supposed to use to fuckin communicate with!
And guess who was not able to access the shitty SAP portal and had written 4 emails on friday to different HR bitches? UMM, MEEE!!!
I guess I need to take up this new shitty habit of keeping every email/phone number/id/fucking blood sample of every person i meet, because the fucking system can log out anyone at any fucking time!!!
The above crap combined with the fact that they work from a we-fuckin-work where you can't get a decent isloated phone booth for more than 30 mins, i am soon going to burst, and burst bad
--------------------------------------------------------
previous crap :
https://devrant.com/rants/6553736/... -
Set — half-flooded city. Despite streets being three feet underwater, and, of course, filled with jellyfish, the city doesn’t seem to care. People go to work as usual. The protagonist is a special agent. His target is to find “the drain” and flush the water from the city. His enemies want to flood the city even more and are hiding “the drain”. Characters are almost silent. For the entire movie, only two lines are heard: “Where is the drain?” and “Jellyfish are everywhere, not just in the sea”. The soundtrack is an endless loop of “As he lost his mind,”, a line from Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man”. 30% of screen time is gruesome killings, torture and rape. 20% of the remaining time are long jellyfish sceneries. At some point, the protagonist notices the camera and kills the director. After that,2
-
> Get sent to local client that manages most services on prem themselves
> We just deliver the software and setup instructions, client is self-proclaimed "technical enough" to handle the rest
> Never had issues with them, client for about 1,5year, we assume they are indeed technical enough
> Local client needs me for some help with their "backup solution"
> Cron job that dd's entire disk every week to external ssd.
> External ssd finally caved in after what was most likely years of torture
> Has nothing even remotely to do with our software (which has built-in backups, which they apparently don't use)
> I get scolded and screamed at when I say not our problem
Fml2 -
Poorly designed software is akin to a torture device and no one can convince me otherwise.
Why on earth would you make a piece of software that randomly disconnects from printers, prints documents improperly for no reason - even if print settings are configured properly - and has a dog shit UI that’s a rats nest of menus and drop-downs.
Only a fool would make software overly complicated to use then blame the user when they voice their concerns. -
Spend half an hour with the "git remote add ..." yada yada after setting up an git repo on a vps where I failed to create the home directory with the user and had to do it manually.
As I was against making a trash commit to win against the Schrödinger repo I begun torture myself with the PowerShell SSH compatibility.
I gave up at the end and made an commit with some libs I am going to use. After a last SSH port fight with git got everything up and running.
Lastly installed the new magical windows git credential manager and I am hoping to see some fairy dust in the next days.
Tl;Dr:
If(windows&&SSH&&git){
throw new EverythingWrongException("Git gud");
}1 -
god is an unknowable concept, so if you take any sentence that is "noun-verb-noun" and change its logical structure to "noun-verb-!noun, noun-verb-god", it will somehow still make sense. Let's try it:
- "they tortured people" --- "they didn't torture people, they tortured god"
- "he dismissed the case" --- "he didn't dismiss the case, he dismissed god"
- "she forgot about her kid" (plot of Home Alone) --- "she didn't forget about her kid, she forgot about god"
isn't it a weird coincidence that religious rhetoric always adapts flawlessly to the agenda of those who give preachers money? no matter the agenda, it _always_ fits.10 -
I just woke up from this horrific dream. It was a super dark talented mr ripely style nightmare.
This estranged relative had come back into my life and things were going fine but got weird fast. Eventually we’re at this point where I’ve already half killed then with a hammer and it’s been this insane back and forth/psychological torture as they fade between character. They’re weeping and naked crawling toward me pleading - but it’s way past that.
I’m trying to save my mom and escape - and I can tell they are about to get another wind and charge me. I look down and realize they have no shoes either - so, I spot a porcelain lamp and crash it to the ground and it shatters and fills the space with shards. Their eyes full with rage as they switch character and realize we cannot be manipulated. This is the end. We narrowly escaped as they run across the floor and cut their feet and slam to the ground in shrieking agony. Super scary.
Then I thought... this feels terrible.
Kinda like being on Reddit - or just in a bad comment thread. -
Why is instagram so thoroughly broken and a user experience torture.
I know the standard answer of "As long as the core flows that hold up the popularity work, no one cares much", and yeah, true, but that's a reason for why no one fixes the broken stuff.
What I want to know is why is it so thoroughly broken in the first place? Granted, Facebook isn't the best of places but one would expect at least a certaim level of competency from a team coming from the same organisation that gave us React JS(even if Instagram did not originate there, they have been in the Zuck empire for a while now). Why do such thoroughly messed up UI/UX and features get pushed to prod in a company that has the time, resources, and talent to do things professionally(read: better than the mess that instagram is). Not to mention a fuck ton of missing simple features that would make using it much better experience (JUST LET ME AT LEAST COPY COMMENTS GODFRKINDAMNIT IF ENABLING EDITING COMMENTS WILL COST YOU YOUR FIRSTBORN'S SOUL)
Maybe I am somewhat biased since I use Instagram desktop more than the mobile app, but my point should still stand.2 -
Wow, angular is still a pile of shit in 2024, nothing changed.
I renew my https://devrant.com/rants/7582990 previous rant
I've recently switched to angular 17, not because I'm a masochist, but because, unfortunately, we have a huge portal for a super huge multinational enterprise and it's made in angular.
It's 2 years worth of work, and they've suddenly decided it's cool to switch to angular 17, because standards, because it's new etc.
Now that this crap angular 17 came out I prepared my hair pulling room, where there are whips and self torture instruments, and I've typed into browser url they "super new super modern super efficient" angular.dev, which apparently is their new official super 1337 documentation site (spoiler, it's shit as the other if not worse).
Since they realized angular was pigshit, they decided to eviscerate it like a sacrifical lamb in ancient maya age and add lot of stuff that makes it modern and more friendly.
They think they made the big bang of news, but they implemented stuff that exist since 10 years after people were cutting their wrists in their github "request a feature" section for years.
Well, to make it brief, they made a whole clunky obscure way to bootstrap it and didn't even had the decency and modesty to properly document it (they never learn, sigh....)
In any case I put up a .NET minimal API that works well, and a small angular app with a Hello world page that fetches a "hello word" string from a test api route.
The api works everywhere, browser, postman etc etc.
But ta-dahhhh, in angular throws error.
They put various way of using http client. Main 2 are withFetch() and without.
withFetch() says "as error "Invalid self signed certificate" and withoutFetch "Unknown error".
Apparently we have to do shenanigans also to do some dev development5 -
trying to sort out duplicate files on my various hard drives. i mean really determining how long i want to keep this torture going is beyond my own stupidity... clouds be trees
-
Dear Thieves.
So I was looking at some guy who's job I designed today.
He was sitting there with the new laptop I bought during one visit here.
It was an hp with a silver keyboard and handrest because supposedly normal people stopped owning laptops when you all decided to embrace schizophrenia and create inane rather stupid meanings that are associated with literally everything but sense or sophistication.
comparing oneself to an animal for example doesn't focus on positive or spiritual values, its something perverse.
ordering food is not about enjoying new things or savoring flavors, its about something perverse.
going to school is not to learn things, its to crash and burn later because the powers that be refuse to update the system from the 1970s.
living, is not living at all, but working to pay bills and get old bitter and fat.
well.
shit.
retards.
anyway. doesn't explain people like myself who made things when we could and were enthusiastic about our jobs at points.
oh. and supposedly the guy who stole the job was 'I".... and it was a job that would become 'outmoded'......
i believe that was the word often used. let;s check. yup, close enough.
then all these people talking about 'new' jobs because noone could trust the group of monsters they made with too much spare time. since you know. they thought it was funny to steal human beings lives since they were not human. subhuman.
anyway.
where suddenly everything meant something else and a whole new world of retarded people emerged from the shadows because the trash children of a former generation got sick of being lectured about morality when they were in fact just bad people who should have been shot.
i don't care how else the whiney bastards explain themselves. i really don't.
you can say that in desperate fucked situations involving psychological torture, rape, etc that a decent person *raises their hand* might do TERRIBLE things to their captors in order to escape, but THEY caused that while whining that someone from the 1940s or earlier made them evil and they had no choice but to steal jobs, money, retirement funds, public institutions, the morals of a generation, i'll bite: toddlers, spread their legs like psycho whores to get pregnant, so steal people's unborn children, turn every fund available that could have gone towards people that needed things to money laundering and in general gleefully fucked our whole country up with the lack of foresight that psychopaths commonly display.
great job.
was it worth dying ?
how about going crazy and letting another group of evil people make an excuse to drive everyone into an endless idiotic loop ?
but hey no, keep lying. works so well.
well at least fedora 37 is released again.
give the stolen photos back.
just want to know what i looked like, and don't want to talk like a retard to get people who understand english to pretend they finally comprehend.
fucking bastards.5 -
Ok so, i have no idea where i can ask this kinda thing so i'm asking it here (i know i could do like stackexchange or dead aws discord servers, ... nvm you know why i'm not going that route).
Anyways,
I'm looking for a comparison between a mongo+node setup on a basic t1.micro instance and a lambda+dynamodb setup.
Each one has it's perks obviously but i guess i sorta prefer whichever one gives best performance on the free tier.
I do know dynamo has 25 reads and 25 writes a second on the free tier, which might be a little less ? I really have no clue.
But how many writes/reads would a basic mongo setup be able to achieve on the t1.micro instance ? Any idea? Do share your experiences with these architectures as well. I'm sort of a newb with serverless, the downsides aren't worth it for me but I'm learning it nevertheless. It sorta tickles some sort of self-torture curiosity fetish (need more self-research to back that).10 -
Watched Nexpo's video on "This room does not exist". What a parallel. Once Facebook figures out how to simulate all the senses in the metaverse, they will torture you and sell you the right to forget it. This is according to the terms of use you agreed with without reading.1
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