To the slackers on this team - fuck you all.

I know you don’t work during the day. I’m either getting another job or moving into management, and god help you if either happens. Your current manager has been watching you like a hawk, but he’s scared of attrition. But if his manager pushes him on it he’ll PIP you all. He hates you too.

If I get a new job - our manager’s manager will know, our manager will get pressure to PIP you, and you’ll endure months of hell while every stakeholder with deadlines realizes they can tighten the screws on you and if you don’t respond well you’ll be seen as even bigger fuckups.

If I move into management - PIPs incoming. You’ve made my life hell. But I’m going to make sure you’re stuck in this hell with me for as long as possible. That transfer you wanted? Fuck no, you will maintain this legacy system under increasingly unreasonable deadlines until you quit. Should’ve done your work back when there was still time. And until you quit, it will be torture. I plan on asking for constant status updates that are sure to break your flow. And when you quit - better leave us off those references.

Fuck you. The rest of the team is working overtime because of your shitty personality. I know you like this job - get ready to lose it and watch everyone who’s been chomping at the bit to make your life miserable take swings at you.

  • 6
    You sound equally toxic...
  • 0
    Or.... We could just quit.
  • 0
    If the managers know, why do they not communicate that to the dev in question?

    Because what you just described is exactly what makes a workplace a hell for everyone.
  • 0
    It would be great if they just quit. I mean I would still torpedo their references to the point where it would be better if there was a two year gap on their resume but quitting is still probably their best option
  • 0
    @thebiochemic we’ve communicated it to this colossal dumbass multiple times. At this point he’s too thick to get the message and since he’s made my life hell by not improving at all I’m about to make his life hell
  • 1
    @thisisterrible i think you don't get my point. If you do that with that guy, you will be seen by others as the asshole.
    And because of that you will treat the others like shit too. This is toddler behaviour.

    Don't do that. Do it like a professional. Make HR issue a written Warning about that behaviour. If done that twice, and there is still no improvement, the company can fire the person.
  • 0
    “Change your job or change your job.”
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