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If Gordon Ramsay made code reviews, I would watch that show. Especially the insults he would use for handling clients.
"This code has so much spaghetti, it decided to open it's own restaurant"23 -
If you had
one language
One framework
To code everything you want
Would you learn it or let it pass
His code is heavy,
arms are weak,
mind is bending.
It's all spaghetti.
He is nervous but looks calm and ready
to go now
but he keeps on forgetting
what he wrote down.
The manager is getting loud
He moves his mouse but the bugs won't got out
They are features now
Time to ship
Over blaow!18 -
Me: Can you make me some meatballs?
Engineer: No, what are you talking about?
Me: I thought you were a chef.
Engineer: I'm not a chef, what made you think that?
Me: I was looking at your code and I haven't seen that much spaghetti since Olive Garden ran the endless pasta special. I was just wanting some meatballs to go with it.5 -
How it should be:
- First: solve the problem
- Second: Write your code.
How many people do:
- First: Write code
- Second: solve code problems
- Third: Adapt code with requirements
- Forth: get lost on your spaghetti code
- Sixth: make a suicide8 -
Imagine what a coder Gordon Ramsay might be like:
Your alghoritm is so FUCKING slow, I'd rather to try to brute force a 20 characters long alphanumeric password!
This app is more insecure than an average teenager!
If your code was a spaghetti it would be a fucking health hazard!14 -
After finishing up 70% of a feature,
Brain: "there's a better way to do it"
Me: "ok ill just change a bit of code here and there.."
-- 2 hours later --
swimming in spaghetti code..7 -
Boss: please refactor this js 2k lines spaghetti code class and use it in our reactive functional app
Me: it will take like 1 week to refactor and plug this
Boss: but it's almost the time I needed to write it!
YOU DON'T SAY? MAYBE FIRST LEARN HOW TO WRITE DECENT CODE. ffs.2 -
Guy from work: "I have a messy coding style ¯\_(ツ)_/¯".
No, you have a bad coding style. Your repetitive uncommented spaghetti code isn't an artistic expression of your quick imaginative mind jumping from thought to thought. It's a horrible mess that shows me that either you can't do any better or you don't care.8 -
Fuck you fucking piece of self taught shit. Self taught my ass you dont even know how to use git or how to use modern IDE. You dont even know how to use debugger. You dont read other peoples code because you are an arrogant kid who thinks that everybody elses code is trash. Yet after couple days when you need to work on your own code you usually rewrite entire fucking thing because of how fucked up your spaghetti implementations are. Even worse you dont even know fucking english so documentation is useless to you unless I dumb down everything for you and spoon feed you like a 5 year old. Motherfucker you cant even stick to a proper work schedule, you go to sleep at 7am and wake up at 18.00 and I have to fucking work overtime because Im blocked by your spaghetti code. Fuck you fucking self taught arrogant piece of shit who never ever worked as a dev profesionally yet you have the nerve to feel cocky.28
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When people paste their whole fucking million line noobie spaghetti code into a single Stackoverflow question:
6 -
When your colleague, who wrote the API is on vacation, the documentation is non-existent and you are tired from reading all-day long his spaghetti code, so you are just waiting for him to show up.
2 -
Rewriting code you wrote as an intern a year ago that has been rewritten by another intern in the meantime...
The joys of spaghetti code and experience.1 -
Yo.
His palms are sweaty
Knees weak arms are heavy
Bugs littering his code already
Cold spaghetti 🍝
He’s nervous but on the surface he looks calm and ready to git push
(Hit a blank with thinking of code-related lyrics, anyone got ideas?)16 -
That moment when you have a tight deadline, but your inner *developer dignity* won't let you write code that sucks.5
-
Yo, his palms are sweaty
knees weak, conscience heavy
There's commits on master already:
Your mom's spaghetti code19 -
Prologue
My dad has an acquaintance - let's call him Tom. Tom is an gynecologist, one of the best in Poznań, where I live. He's a great guy but absolutely can not into tech of any kind besides his iPhone and basic PC usage. For about a year now I've been doing small jobs for him - build a new PC for his office, fix printer, fix wifi, etc. He has made a big mistake few years ago by trusting a guy, let's call him Shitface, with crating him software for work. It's supposed to be pretty simple piece of code in which you can create and modify patient file, create prescription from drugs database and such things. This program is probably one of the worst pierces of code I've ever seen and Shitface should burn for that. Worse, this guy is pretentious asshole lacking even basic IT knowledge. His code is garbage and it's taking him few months to make small changes like text wrapping. But wait, there's more. Everything is hardcoded so every PC using this software must have installed user controls for which he doesn't have license and static IP address on network card.
Part 1
Tom asked me to build him a new PC that will be acting like a server for Shitface's program. He needs it in Kalisz (around 150 km from my place). I Agred (pun intended) and after Tom brought me his old computer I've bought parts and built a new one. I have also copied everything of value and everything took me around three hours.
Part 2
Everything was ready but Shitface's program. I didn't know much about it's configuration so when I've noticed that it's not working even on the old PC I got a bit worried. Nevertheless I started breaking everything I know about it and after next three hours I've got it somewhat working. Seeing that there's still some problems with database connection (from Windows' Event Viewer) I wrote quick SMS to Shitface asking what can be wrong. He replied that he won't be able to help me any way until Monday (day after deadline). I got pissed and very courteously asked him for source code because some of libraries used in this project has license that requires either purchase of commercial license or making code open source. He replied within few minutes that he'll be able to connect remotely within next 10 minutes. He was trying to make it work for the next hour but he succeeded. It was night before deadline so I wrapped everything up and went to bed thinking that it won't take me more than an hour to get this new PC up and running in the office. Boy was I wrong.
Also, curious about his code, I've checked source and he is using beautiful ponglish (mixed Polish and English) with mistakes he couldn't even bother to fix. For people from Poland, here's an example:
TerminarzeController.DeleteTerminarzShematyDlaLekarza
Part 3
So I drove to Kalisz and started working on making everything work. Almost everything was ready so after half an hour I was done. But I wanted to check twice if it's all good because driving so far second time would be a pain. So I started up Shitface's program, logged in, tried to open ANYTHING and... KABUM. UNHANDLED EXCEPTION. WTF. I checked trace and for fuck sake something was missing. Keep in mind that then I didn't know he's using some third party control for Windows Forms that needs to be installed on client PC. After next fifteen minutes of googling I've found a solution. I just had to install this third party software and everything will work. But... It had to be exactly this version and it was old. Very old. So old that producent already removed all traces of its existence from their web page and I couldn't find it anywhere. I tried installing never version and copying files from old PC but it didn't work. After few hours of searching for a solution I called Mr Shitface asking him for this control installation file. He told me that he has it but will be able to send it my way in the evening. Resigned I asked for this new PC to be left turned on and drove home. When he sent me necessary files I remotely installed them and everything started working correctly.
So, to sum it up. Searching for parts and building new PC, installing OS and all necessary software, updating everything and configuring it for Tom taste took me around what, 1/3 of time I spent on installing Mr Shitface's stupid program which Tom is not even happy with. Gotta say it was one of worst experiences I had in recent months. Hope I won't have to see this shit again.
Epilogue
Fortunately everything seems to work correctly. Tom hasn't called me yet with any problems. Mission accomplished. I wanna kill very specific someone. With. A. Spoon.1 -
Give me a 10 year old application with no comments, layers of spaghetti code, global variables, embedded SQL, and a text editor with no debugging; just don’t make me write Excel formulas.6
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The gift that keeps on giving... the Custom CMS Of Doom™
I've finally seen enough evidence why PHP has such a bad reputation to the point where even recruiters recommended me to remove my years of PHP experience from the CV.
The completely custom CMS written by company <redacted>'s CEO and his slaves features the following:
- Open for SQL injection attacks
- Remote shell command execution through URL query params
- Page-specific strings in most core PHP files
- Constructors containing hundreds of lines of code (mostly used to initialize the hundreds of properties
- Class methods containing more than 1000 lines of code
- Completely free of namespaces or package managers (uber elite programmers use only the root namespace)
- Random includes in any place imaginable
- Methods containing 1 line: the include of the file which contains the method body
- SQL queries in literally every source file
- The entrypoint script is in the webroot folder where all the code resides
- Access to sensitive folders is "restricted" by robots.txt 🤣🤣🤣🤣
- The CMS has its own crawler which runs by CRONjob and requests ALL HTML links (yes, full content, including videos!) to fill a database of keywords (I found out because the server traffic was >500 GB/month for this small website)
- Hundreds of config settings are literally defined by "define(...)"
- LESS is transpiled into CSS by PHP on requests
- .......
I could go on, but yes, I've seen it all now.12 -
Last year I signed in for a course called "Best Practices in Programming", and part of the course was to get the code of our current projects reviewed by a professional developer. I had a horribly written (out of inexperience) code in Python. The guy who had to review my code basically said I had no idea about coding but went on helping me a lot. Since then I started to learn some concepts of software engineering, how to code more efficiently, and so on and I've been much better ever since. So kudos to him for putting up with my spaghetti code and sending me in the right direction!1
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Your code has so much spaghetti, there's vomit on my sweater already.
(reposted as a rant cos @yatanvesh said so)4 -
I HOPED I WOULDN'T BE BALD AS MY DAD BUT AT THIS RATE I WILL BE HAIRLESS FROM TEARING IT OUT ON MY BLOODY OWN
I got hired for cleaning up a 2 year project of rushed spaghetti code , where they previously only had 1 programmer aND HE WROTE 37 THOUSAND LINES OF CODE!
OH WE NEED A NEW FEATURE?! LEMME JUST RESEARCH THIS COMMENT-LESS CRAP FOR MULTIPLE MILLENIA BEFORE I CAN GRASP WHAT THE FLYING FRICKIN FRIDGE CODE DOES
To top it off, I've about ONE MONTH LEFT BEFORE BETA RELEASE TO FIX THE CODE!
I'm super grateful for this job as it's my first programming job BUT I'M GONNA SET THE REPOSITORY ON FIRE SOON AAAAHHHHHH
HOW CAN YOU, THE PREVIOUS PROGRAMMER, WORK IN THIS ENVIRONMENT WHERE MOSTLY ALL FILES ARE +2000 ROWS OF UNDOCUMENTED CODE
OH AND JUST GOT A MESSAGE FROM THE PREVIOUS PROGRAMMER:
"You can just remove the unused code and refractor it some, izi"
IZI MY SHITTY POOP CAR
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Now with that out of the way, how would you recommend handling a stressful release deadline?6 -
When you realize the legacy PHP code you're working in has a class you're extending with over 2000 lines and you think, "Nope, this isn't a class, it's a university."2
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When I joined my team in august as a junior/trainee, we were 6 developers.
Now we are 4 left in the team.
By the end of june, we are 1.. I mean its me, myself and I.
Wtf did I do!? My code isnt that spaghetti. I think...
But its np, just me with a 20 years old database, 7 legacy systems and a new one planned.
Atleast my boss believes in me keeping this shit floating.11 -
I left some spaghetti code on production at the company i left, i really hope my replacement isn’t a psycho who’ll try to find me3
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Porting of a huge web application from ZF1 to Laravel 5.5.
In summary:
1. approx. 200,000 lines of spaghetti code (ZF1)
2. approx. 2500 custom Javascript files
3. approx. 600 CSS files
4. hundreds of node modules and libraries
5. 12 different layouts (Home, Member, Admin,...)
6. ...
7. ...
8. ...
...
I've got six days to get this done. God help me.25 -
All front end written in one file. File has over 6000 lines, mix of a php, javascript and extjs. It kills my IDE.5
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That feeling when you refactor that spaghetti mess into clean beautiful code that passes all tests flawlessly4
-
You would think for a company as big as Google they would be able to write good fucking documentation but nope!
Fuck me it's more spaghetti than my code!4 -
Shalom my dudes!
A quick GT from my college years:
>be me
>barely knew how to program but eager to learn more and more
>end of first semester, teacher assigns a couple of classic games for extra points
>battleship, pacman, sudoku, tetris, etc. All done in C
>end up with tetris
>2 days later I have the final build, including all the tech shit like walljump
>start thinking to myself "this looks really fucking ugly, what's wrong with me??"
>look up graphic libraries for C when a light flashes on my computer screen
>*NCURSES*
>the next 2 weeks were a montage of me learning linux, understanding ncurses and redoing my code (plus bug fixing)
>presentation day
>palms are spaghetti
>knees? Spaghetti
>arms? Spaghetti
>class is impressed with my work
>professor comes up to the board and tells me that I get a 0 because it wasn't "pure C"
>clenched my jaw and walked towards the dean office
>"hey, mind if I show you something?"
>open my laptop and show him the game
>he's having a blast since every time you do a 5 row crunch (a tetris), a piece of clothing of a random model comes off
>explain to him what happened in the classroom
>he looks at my code, runs it on a plagiarism checker and tells me that he will edit the grade himself
> a week later there's a 10 on my grading area
>feelsgoodman
6 -
When you have literally no idea how to make your homework project so you try to Google/StackOverflow it piece by piece to make a Frankenstein's monster code.
And then you still have no idea how to cobble it all together in a way that makes sense.4 -
You know what grinds my gears. Spaghetti code, bloated code base with 5000 line files, and poor file organization.
Seriously really pissing me off right now. Its like walking into a library and there's no shelves and the books are just thrown into massive piles.
I've spent so much time trying to figure shit out just to implement basic things. Its messing with my productivity and making me hate my job.5 -
Writing bad code has its perks.
Whenever you are hungry you only have to write a few lines of code and you get some spaghetti3 -
I forgot what it was like to have a productive day!
I’m rewriting the Apple wallet pass code to make it fully customizable instead of mostly static, and it’s beautiful.
The code was horrible tangled spaghetti before (and soo slow) but now it’s clean and fast and modular and absolute bliss to spec. Yay, dependency injection!
I actually had fun working today! 😊
It’s been the first time in months.8 -
CTO hired mid-level full-stack developer for really complex product we’re building.
Here’s the funny part - he has 2 YEO building on top of freelance dev. code base’s on wordpress… Just fucking yesterday he told me, that Angular 10 framework is simillar to Jquery. Fucking dipshit, his code is so fucking bad it looks like italian sausage made out of spaghetti.
Not sure if I hate him more than ours truly cheapest CTO or him for being ridiculously incompetent and arrogant young asshole.
I’m in charge of him.
Help me.10 -
I have seen spaghetti php code, I have seen spaghetti JavaScript code, I have seen spaghetti python code. I have seen a lot of spaghetti.
Yet this Angular project appears like it was touched by His Noodly Appendage.
And only his Noodlyness knows what's going on in there. It's truly beyond my mere mortal means of understanding.3 -
When you can't figure out where you are supposed to add your code in the teams massive android spaghetti codebase. So you just add logs to every function that might be related to track down the function you need.
1 -
Classmates having trouble with their mess of spaghetti code and improperly named variables (I saw variable names like "poop" already).6
-
Guys guys guys. Conversation had right just now. A PM from the company I’m freelancing for just said
“We need to move away from SQL server and shift all the data to MongoDB. I don’t want it to take more than a month tops”
Verbatim. No context. Nothing. The website is for a small time supply chain software that’s been chugging along for a decade now with spaghetti code everywhere.
How do I even respond? The other guy who works with me sent 😂😂😂 to me privately and now is offline lol wtf12 -
I've just noticed an app review that I've given and would fit right into the wk123 (that's the insult one, right?).
"Biggest pile of junk that I've ever seen. You have one job! To register the fucking phone number (which you could get with Phone permission) and verify it (which you can do with the SMS permission) and you should either have the user do that once upon installation or you automate it entirely so that it can run in the background! You can fully automate this, and it's not that complicated that it needs 10 whole seconds of loading time in between! Heck, this pile of crap can't even continue into the main view after entering the verification code! You haven't published the source code (and maybe that's for the best) but if it was, I'd probably immediately get cancer by viewing your crappy spaghetti code. Dear developer, please take a step back and (re)join the PC tech support guys. You have no place in the development world."
To top it all off, that app currently only needs phone permission to verify my number (at least they've done that much). So I figured, I've already gone through that authentication flow so let's remove that permission to abide by the principle of least privilege.
Except that the fucking crapp just goes through the "requires phone permission" shit again whenever that permission removal happens. Fucking piece of garbage!!! That such spaghetti code fuckers even have a job, it boggles my mind.4 -
Wrote a cpp semester project where i had to develop school management system.
The code was spaghetti and horrible with frightening OOP implementation but it was beautifully written with comments and 🐫 Casing.
Submitted the program and examiner rejected it while saying that i had copied it from else where and i could never write a beauty code like that .
You dumb 💩! Don't you know other basis to reject a person's hard-work6 -
!rant
Four hours of work.
You think you write spaghetti code? I write spaghetti wires.
H-Bridge dual motor tester for stepper motors.
Speed is controled by pot.
H-bride are L293D.
My third board, and the first that won't go to the trash.
Question. With the baterry off the motor continues spinning with the 5v from arduino.
My question is, is the L293D suposed to do that? Or do I have a short circuit somewhere that is giving power to the motor? Meaning it can burn the arduino.
Runs a 12v stepper from a CD-Rom driver perfectly at 5v from the arduino and actually starts to act strange when I turn the 12v on. (maby the circuit it's adding 12v + 5v?)
24 -
Currently, I am going through a legacy application built in microsoft access back in 90s.
* No Comments
* No Relationships between tables
* Random code that does nothing
* Weird form layouts
* Weird naming conventions
I need to copy this functionality into modern version using SQL Server Management studio and asp.net core, I also need to kill myself because none of this fucking shit fucking fuck makes sense.
I do my best to write clean and concise code along with comments but after this ordeal I am going to up my game because nobody should need to suffer through spaghetti code and stupid logic that is uncommented.
😶6 -
When someone else's JS got you like... Want some meatballs and garlic bread with that spaghetti code?1
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Starting a new project:
"I'm gonna write clean and commented CSS today"
===== 20 minutes in =====
"dafuq does this class do? "😣 -
Please Google, allow us to disable that retarded Google translate thing you've got going on the play store.
Seriously, 90% of the apps' short description are absolutely unreadable because they insist on translating it to my device's language even if no translating is available.
I know it's probably useful to some people (the ones who don't understand English but somehow understand the human language equivalent of spaghetti-code, which I suspect is not many), but this needs to be disable-able, it makes the experience of discovering apps extremely awkward.9 -
Got an offer to work at a game development company. Office looked awesome (decked out in pinball machines and a huge marble track), located overlooking Schreveningen beach, young energetic team.
Then I saw the code. Oh God the code. And they wanted me to become system architect.
Hybrid PHP 4/5 OOP/procedural code custom framework running on a spaghetti database creaking by on the skin of its teeth... all backing Flash Facebook games.
Nope.5 -
I see too many back-end rants against front-ends.
Should we talk about table layouts, malformed html, programatically generated spaghetti wrong markup, css absurd class naming, infinite div wrapping (div-itis), awful usability, poor legibility, terrible typography, wrong color palettes and user-unfriedly design? To name a few horrors i've seen so far.
Some people won't admit that their contempt against HTML and CSS being 'not real code' actually hides their inability or unwillingness to learn it. Or they need the feeling of superiority.11 -
Three months into a new job, as a senior developer (12+ years experience) and updated an import application.
With one small update query that didn't account for a possible NULL value for a parameter, so it updated all 65 million records instead of the 15 that belonged to that user.
Took 3 people and 4 days to put all the data back to it's original state.
Went right back to using the old version of the apllication, still running 2 years later. It's spaghetti code from hell with sql jobs and multiple stored procedures creating dynamic SQL, but I'm never touching it again.5 -
I like PHP.
It's not as bad as its reputation. Just because it's easy to learn, does not mean it's bad. In fact, with a framework like Laravel or Zend it's not so simple and keeps the whole spaghetti code developers away, which led to the bad reputation.9 -
Fuckwit tried to lecture me on clean code.
Checked his work, it seems like he writes the spaghettiest spaghetti I've ever seen. Who would have guessed it. At least he knows that something called 'clean code' exists.5 -
Almost 3 weeks back I joined a company as a React developer. For a week I had nothing to work on as they were already working on few projects.
So my senior asked me to take up a project(not yet live) which was developed by 2 interns, as the frontend guy's internship was about to end in 4 days I have to take over the front-end role.
So I talked to that guy for next 2 days regarding all the project scope, codebase and whatnot. But still not entirely convinced. As i got the repo access, I began to check the codes. God !! It was all spaghetti code. I was damn frustrated. And still I am.
This whole week I am trying to do the refactoring as much as I can, I completely lost interest.
I cannot blame the intern guy, he is smart and tried to do the best he could, as he didn't know about the company standards. Maybe I was too the same kind back then. Now he is gone and I am stuck building components over that code.
Bonus: He used some old react boilerplate.
-_-3 -
Outsourcing front-end for web is like playing russian roulette, but with 6 bullets in 6 chambers.
You shoot yourself in the balls (or ovaries)... HARD.
I don't know how you can develop in a complete nightmare of a SCSS file - 3500 lines of insanity.
This dev must have changed his mousewheel at least 50 times!
SERIOUSLY, why the fuck use SCSS when you piss everything into one single fucking file???
What drives me completely nuts is the fact that he even used an @import to include his custom.scss file... how many more IQ poins are needed to realize that you could SPLIT your spaghetti into smaller, sane files?
I need a whiskey...3 -
I’ve become the person who I said I’d never be. Writing spaghetti code in spaghetti project instead of trying to refactor methods and classes where I’m adding new features.
Welp. They want it “yesterday” , they’ll have it yesterday.
But hey, the money’s good.8 -
I do think C# is the best language going. It's basically got everything, and VS is, weirdly for a Microsoft product, among the best IDEs. You get to thinking that it's actually harder to write unorganised code than not with it: it becomes difficult to imagine writing messy, repetitive or spaghetti code in C#.
Then you use Unity.24 -
My boss just passed me few tasks that my coworkers fucked up. They have more experience, but they do not follow any code style standards and usually write shitty spaghetti code. I'm pissed off and angry because it's not the first time and I'm tired of fixing things that they ruin. Do you ever had any situations like that? How do I handle this? I'm speaking of two particular persons, not a whole company.2
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Self documenting code is a fucking myth you bloody sheep.
Write “self documenting code” then add a fucking comment or two explaining why the fuck the code deserves should be there because nobody can see what the fuck it is doing or understands how the whole collection of microservices works. I’m sick of spaghetti code bullshit full of accidental redundancy because it is impossible for anyone to realize why something is there at a glance.
I renamed different “Contract” classes today by adding numbers before code review.
Contract
Contract1
Contract2
Contract3
All of these classes are supposed to be the same but somehow they aren’t and you self documenting dumbasses missed it. Don’t gripe about the numbered classes in the repo… fix the fucking code and collapse the classes so we don’t have four sections of code describing the same fucking structure from a http get with different interfaces because four people couldn’t read the whole like some fucking computer.10 -
Account manager: "We somehow managed to take unmaintainable spaghetti code for money again. This is a great opportunity for you."3
-
I love to code, it scratches my creative itch
And i love to work, it drowns my productivity anxiety
But I dread every morning when i wake up to work on my current employer's project
It's that kind of combo of code base spaghetti and all over the place project management that sinks my galleys
Woe is me...5 -
I made a functional parsing layer for an API that cleans http body json. The functions return insights about the received object and the result of the parse attempt. Then I wrote validation in the controller to determine if we will reject or accept. If we reject, parse and validation information is included on the error response so that the API consumer knows exactly why it was rejected. The code was super simple to read and maintain.
I demoed to the team and there was one hold out that couldn’t understand my decision to separate parse and validate. He decided to rewrite the two layers plus both the controller and service into one spaghetti layer. The team lead avoided conflict at all cost and told me that even though it was far worse code to “give him this”. We still struggle with the spaghetti code he wrote to this day.
When sugar-coating someone’s engineering inadequacies is more important than good engineering I think about quitting. He was literally the only one on the team that didn’t get it.2 -
"Learn PHP! nearly 90% of the web is done in PHP"
That's EXACTLY the reason you DON'T want to work with PHP. Tutorials, SO answers, blogs, every source of info is FULL with bad practices, horrible patters or no patterns, spaghetti code... Most PHP devs are web scripters who have absolutely no background on software engineering whatsoever.
Do yourself a favor, unless you plan to learn Laravel and stick with it, don't, do not, don't'm'st, don't'm'st've go with PHP ... just don't20 -
anyone else have their own side projects where they follow no structure and pretty much make spaghetti code just to get it finished asap so you can make money off the system you are building? lol. not proud of the code i wrote today but damn did I get a lot of functionality implemented.8
-
Tired of reading spaghetti code written by your team mates?
Sit right next to them and ask them to write unit tests for that code.
Smash their head on the keyboard everytime they have to think longer than 10 seconds on how to test a specific logic.
Strangle them with any wire you find nearby till they agree to break up that spaghetti code unless they already started within that 10 second time frame.
When the exercise ends, tell them this is what refactoring is and ask them to pass on the knowledge.5 -
God fucking dammit why are people so fucking lazy? A couple months ago I've had the intern refactor and organise this coworker's spaghetti code, and he did an excellent job, added type safety, etc.
I've took special care to explain it to this coworker that I understand he didn't have time to organise code and the intern took care of it, and to please keep it clean from now on.
Today I had to add a small feature to the same codebase, and every single thing that fucktard added from then on was crammed in the same file. And that guy's been here for 5 years already, I thought I don't have to triple check every single line he writes by now...5 -
TIL the term "Kangaroo Code" was also a popular sort-of synonym for "Spaghetti Code".
It more referred to languages that heavily used "goto"s (because it would be "code with a lot of jumps")10 -
Sweet baby Jesus the stories are true. I thought this day would never come but yesterday I found a website in production straight out of a horror story.
Inline script tags that contained spaghetti code and static content. And to top it off inline style with position absolute for everything 😰😰
Also worth mentioning a couple of broken pages(404) and a beatufill repeat-y image for the background😳
I lost all hope😂16 -
Shit recruiters say:
"We need solution experts, not language experts, because a language is just a tool."
Well then, good luck with your spaghetti code solution.3 -
I came to this company. I saw spaghetti code. I told myself to write clean code and also clean the existing code. I took too much pressure for too little return. I am done with this shit. I will now write clean code but fuck the old spaghetti code!2
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Help. I'm drowning in spaghetti code
I've been working at a working student (15 hours/ week) at a local software company for about a month now... and with everything I learned at college I'm kind of getting eye cancer here.
We still use SVN
We don't have any coding guidelines. No checkstyle, no overview over the program. When I started there I was just giving a ticket and they said good luck.
We just have some basic RCPTT Tests inside Eclipse and most of Themen don't work in the trunk because the gui got changed...
At least we have a ticket system but it doesn't get used by most of the working students.
I found 10 other bugs while reproducing and trying to fix 1 bug.
And I've never seen Java raped so badly. Today I saw a line that started with 6 brackets because whoever wrote it wanted to cast like there was no tomorrow. I see more instanceof in one day than in my whole devlife before.
The only thing we have is two normal employees that review our code before we are allowed to commit it into the trunk.
So yeah... I'm drowning in spaghetti-code.2 -
1.5 million lines of undocumented spaghetti code. Think 500~1000 lines functions, 5k+ lines classes, string html concatenation. You name it, it had it. And complete unwillingness to improve it by the company. I eventually quit after considering doing it about 2, 3 times.4
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I spent the last weeks rewriting a huge project which I had to hurriedly write a year ago. No comments, no documentation, spaghetti code. Part me was an asshole! But now I am done, all is new, everything is well commented, structured in classes with well defined tasks. Yay.2
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I've pulled the third all-nighter in a row because of a ridiculous bug in legacy spaghetti..
I finally kicked its ass so I can now emerge from my cave, feeling like both a lifeless zombie and someone who got reanimated after half a week.
You all helped me through this tough time, love you all devRant ♥ -
Today I met the spaghetti man who wrote the code I work with.
Guess who's sharpening his knife (and d*ck)7 -
A programmer can code.
A developer is a jack of all trades jumping into any stack and mastering the basics in a weekend.
So why the fuck can't I grasp humans. Their code is spaghetti....
Debugging gives way to many problems...
Atleast my personal code has a feature creep and for once it's a good thing!3 -
Spaghetti Code, Spaghetti Code.
Flush it right down the commode,
Spins a call graph, unreadable size,
Anyone who sees it cries.
Look out, here comes the Spaghetti Code!
2 -
Problem: ugly-ass php spaghetti code that has a technical debt of 16(!!!) years. I mean, it's so spaghetti that has two legacy frameworks that talk to each other inside the same monolith.
Observation: after two months my colleagues, trying to refactoring stuff, they were able to touch so little stuff that it almost made no difference.
How much is worth a rewrite? Because i don't think i can make a difference on a codebase so messy.
I know that rewrite is not the answer 99.9999% of the time, but i have tons of doubts here.13 -
in Russian the word “шляпа” (fedora) means not only the specific hat but also something that makes no sense, something ridiculous or something of low quality.
So when someone sends you some spaghetti code on a review, you can just say “That’s fedora” and I love it. You can also WEAR a fedora and point to it as a response to someone saying something that makes no sense.
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Fuck JavaScript, seriously I have spent the last 8 hours trying to build a fucking basic search application that would take me < 1 hour in any other fucking programming language on the planet. I AM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT. I'd rather pay some dude with a long ass fucking beard who calls himself a "Frontend Engineer" WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. Because my backend oriented brain cannot fucking handle all of the frameworks, and modules, and different versions of the same fucking language. Plus its like JavaScript was designed so that you can't not write spaghetti code. FUCK THIS. I'm going back to writing static fucking template code that is used by a fucking backend language that only changes every few fucking years, not every month.
Have a great day. :)4 -
The moment when you are too scared to make any needed changes in your code fearing you will untumble all the structured mess of spaghetti code you have written... 😳😨😕5
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The codebase I'm currently working on is so fucking damn wrong that I made a folder for screenshots called "facepalm".2
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For the past 45 days I've been the sole developer of a standalone Java application and doing some ops only, now I'm getting back to the spaghetti php bullshit they call code and for the past 5 minutes I could fell the depression striking back...
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So....
I was asked to transfer a spaghetti Android/iOS project to xamarin for a bank client yesterday because "that's what they use".
This is a crm/loyalty app that has been around for 2+ years now (you can imagine the mess). On top of that I have no knowledge of c#, .net or xamarin.
So I ask: "When is this supposed to be delivered?"
Boss: "It was scheduled for 2 weeks ago but let's say 2 weeks from now"
Me: "..... This is a huge remake it won't be even close to ready in 2 weeks"
Boss: "Let's check on the progress in 2 weeks and see how it goes"
Why is it hard for bosses to provide an actual timeframe???
He's been pulling the same crap with junior devs for years and of course they get nervous and create more spaghetti code...
Anyway long story short (not) I have an interview Monday!
Let's hope it's not more of the same!
P.S.: to junior devs: When you are given a deadline... IGNORE IT.5 -
when you're at a job interview, the interviewer shows you some code to give you a taste and the first thing that comes to mind is, "how long is it gonna take to refactor and is it worth it..."
then proceeds on to show a database diagram and its an unholy cluttered spaghetti soup that even a purple octopus would feel a cold shiver from..
then the interviewer mentions the previous dev left suddenly and the deadline is very soon(TM?)..1 -
I love how clients can ignore missing menu in their existing project, pages not updating because of fucked up cache, having three different versions of jquery and half of the code being spaghetti on fire - but they get anally retentive about margins not looking like on the wireframes on the new project.7
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Hey guys, wanna see some spaghetti code? This is some parts of Yandere Simulator. More in comments
6 -
developer: *deploying spaghetti code to production*
hacker: *alters the code with an injection*
developer:
2 -
Me to my team:
Let's cook some rice this time. Instead of spaghetti. Grains would be separate from each other if we use the right ingredients.2 -
So normally I go with a super-conservative error handler that logs errors, and exit the process on even the tinyest/smallest error.
Regardless or project/cms/framework I always to this to prevent myself from installing spaghetti plugins or writing unstable code.
Also because I don't want any code to just soldier on if a variable wasn't defined properly, or likewise.
But today I had to write this little fucker into my error handler, to support the error surpressing operator '@'
Appearently prestashop was developed by a group of senseless moronic fuckwits,
and hteir piece of horseshit software doesn't even work if it isn't allowed to surpress errors.
What was the fucking imbeciles thinking when requiring such lunatic behaviour...
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You know what's fucking horrible?
Implementing new features to an Android app in production that another dev wrote...
...which has no architecture, no documentation, no modularity, no testability, everything runs on the UI thread, filled with spaghetti code and it somehow works smoothely so I have to not fuck it up.
Oh and I'm also a junior. So fuck me, right?1 -
Food and Programmers life:
Spaghetti —> My Code
Pizza —> We are spending the night working in the office
Power Drinks —> delivery date is tomorrow morning
Candy —> extra task
Coffee —> bug massage
Water —> wash your face, we have meetings in five minutes
Truffle —> fu** BlockChain
KitKat —> upgrade your phone please
Lollipop —> one more time please
Marshmallow —> do you like some Nougat?7 -
When you hack up some spaghetti code which works right off the bat and you don't even know why but you take it for granted anyways. Week later someone tells you that it's not working anymore and you have to find out why.3
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Me: *joins devRant once again*
"Wow this community is surely active! Better check frequently to keep up!"
*checks two times in 6 hours*
"Yea it was weekend. Probs everyone is getting their hands in a dirty pile of compileable code or a spaghetti of jQuery."
So, how is your day/night so far?25 -
"Pull the lever cronk
...
WROOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG LEVVVVVVEEEERRRRRRRR"
*some time later*
"Why do we even have that lever"
^^^ my code be like -
This fucking guy create a mess of a code, more than a spaghetti code, a clusterfuck of shit untested spaghetti code, and the project is actually getting well, our customer is getting bigger but everytime there is something to be added, its a fucking pain to add, and when something breaks, almost every thin breaks, and the shitty guy who wrote this code is quitting and its fucking up to me to clean up all the fucking mess, fucking asshole.
DOCUMENT AND TEST YOUR CODE KID, DONT BE A FUCKING SPAGHETTI PROGRAMMER7 -
!$rant
Well I feel accomplished today :) Got a lot done on my little devrant-widget project. I'm gonna try and make it open source soon, just trying to fix all this spaghetti code I created xD -
*opens the code of an old project still running today*
*see the horror spaghetti code*
*decide to modernize it with good code and practices learned by the years*
*can fucking decide where to start *
*réalise it is impossible *
*rewrite it from scratch in a few hours*
*be proud*
It's really rewarding to go back to old projects and give them a good hug. You réalise then you really got better5 -
!rant
Wish me luck. I am done with the spaghetti mess.
There is a stock management system written using laravel and jQuery. There are mistakes in database structure. There are lots of I-dont-know-what-this-function-do-so-i-should-leave-it-alone codes. There are lots of repeated and duplicated functions.
Gonna start things from scratch and will also start using vue. This week's Thursday and Friday are public holidays here. I hope I can code my ass off and finish the migration/refactoring/cleaning shit by Sunday.1 -
I have had it with this wack-ass code, with its spaghetti-looking call tree, nonsensical variable naming, comments a screen-height long and as clear as mud mixed with diarrhea, conditions incomprehensible enough to make kafka depressed, and condtions nested deeper than a goddamn ant colony.
In fact, it has more levels of indentation than one of those stupid iceberg memes - the top is pretty and barely afloat while the rest of it is a fat mess all the way down that only serves to sink your motherfucking hopes and dreams.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA2 -
Recently, I had to make a minor modification to some Node.js code a coworker wrote a year ago which buffers stringified JSON into Kinesis. I just needed to add a new key to the input object, it took minutes to make the change, but hours to make sense out the absolute trash spaghetti code this guy wrote. After spending half a day trying to make his code readable, I just got so pissed off. I replaced his 15 files/+1,500 lines of uncommented code, filled with classes, factory functions, poorly named functions and vars, and so, so many spelling mistakes.
We now have a single, well commented, 300 line file that does the same thing.
Get that shit code out of here. -
I just realized one of today's emails is asking to review again that spaghetti program and this time figure out how to optimize performance because it is getting flagged for high cpu and database usage. A Niagra of If-statements and nobody-cares-for-comments-and-technical-documentation.
*bleep* *bleep* *bleep* previous programmer.
I'll deal with this torture on Monday.2 -
Oh great...
I am slowly beginning to realize that my boss/manager doesn't care about refactoring at all. He cares about features and resolved tickets and thats why the code is a pile of spaghetti filled with hacks to fit every clients desires.
Also all of my coworkers work for themselves, ticket by ticket, either because they just don't care or because they are so frustrated that they don't care anymore. And here I am, an intern, and they expect me to cope with this deformed clutter of legacy designs, buried under hacks and workarounds, while implementing some new feature which in the end I have to put on top of everything else because nothing of that codebase can be reused. Fucking shit, fucking irresponsible managers who dont think about the quality of their product. -
That feel when an intern is tasked with implementing a web frontend for a project you're working on.
That feel when you open up one of the views and it's filled with JQuery spaghetti and your eyes glaze over.
That feel when you actually step through the code, and it actually makes sense and is remarkably light and clever for what it does.
That feel when you learned a bit more JQuery (a library that you never had any experience with before) and it made doing some more things an absolute breeze.
Thanks intern!
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When your project partner is an absolute coding genius.
But writes spaghetti code with methods named function1, function2, ... function20.
How the fk am I supposed to read that code?!?!?!
But I’ll give him credit, the program is works and is amazing. It’s just not possible for anybody other than him to understand.7 -
I think the number 1 reason I hate PHP is not because the language itself is really really really bad; but because it's so easy to google "how to php" and get tons of tutorials (full of shit code) that most of the PHP programmers are bad and have no CS studies whatsoever, resulting in unmantainable tight-coupled pieces of [spaghetti] code that won't even encapsulate any business logic.
Anybody else feeling like changing to a different language a similar reason?5 -
The project is nowhere near complete, the customers are waiting for demo/proof of concept. the code is spaghetti and I'm burned out.
Oh, and I'm a solo dev.2 -
I envy all those developers with clean codebases and consistent coding standards and nice architecture.
I'm fixing bugs and optimize code in someone else written project. which looks like spaghetti. with naming conventions like "a", "bbb", "zA" comments written in unknown language and off course the deadline was yesterday.4 -
What you're about to read is an horror story based on real facts.
Our story begins one week ago, when a dev who calls himself "Arfmann" (what a loser, the f* means arfmann?) decided to take his dev skills to another level.
He always has been scared of databases. He made really bad dream about them. Like, they were screaming at him "SELECT useUs FROM database" while he was crying in some shared preferences noises.
A week ago, he decided to overcome his fear. He learned the basics of SQL. Everything was going well. Until, he decided to implement it on Flutter. A Google's technology.
At first, he decided to appeal to documentation. Went on Flutter web site. Flutter documentation. Sqflite documentation. Started reading. Started doing tests with the code written by Google's engineer.
Everything was fucked up. Dozens of errors, the documentation started to blow up and his PC went on fire, due to Android Studio.
He used a sample project made by Google's engineer. "Maybe if use directly their code it will work. Maybe I was the problem". He wasn't.
The whole documentation was wrong, every single line of code was a spaghetti code (yes, every single line was an entire spaghetti code). Everything was put in the main. If you wanted to try to keep things organized, you would end up punched and beaten up from the code itself. It would become a sentient entity that will beat you the fuck up.
Really scary. -
Going through the conversation for xxxxth time with my business partner, why we will not launch a new product on top of pre-made PHP script / plugin.
Just got our company into TDD, and automated QA via CI server & code checks etc, PLEASE stop trying to drag us back into the land of spaghetti code & bug legions in production. That's all thxbye. -
Be me, get a consultant job, go to a supposedly great client that has fame of getting scouted by Google. (attn: I doubted all this shit before I started)
Learn the basics by a awesome mentor and trial/error stuff at the same time to get the hang of things, after that was done, I noticed there was no documentation whatsoever, code is spaghetti and your documentation, good luck!
Royal spaghetti, you can't make heads or tails of it, dev code in production, empty try/catch blocks, empty statements, if (true)... (incl. their core classes)
Keep in mind this is a multi milion dollar company...
Someone please understand my pain...6 -
So, a spaghetti legacy code, written by some dude that obviously hates his job, needs update and we argue about spaces vs tabs....4
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My coworkers are always too busy to learn new things ... and the only thing they adopted is git... other than that its just a clusterfuck of spaghetti code that everybody develops the way they see fit...
at least we are using a local (because reasons) gitlab-ce that I managed to install on the shadows and kind of introduced it without disrupting their way of pulling pushing ...
and they didn't even log in there , only once.. to create the account 😐
why don't people have any passion to learn? :/2 -
To the JS devs (not all of course, but to many of them), look here: ;
Is it so hard to do? ;
I feel like you don’t use semicolons just to mess with non-JS devs...
Just because it works without, doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be used...
It’s as if i would stop using dots Just because I can it doesn’t mean it’s the way to go
It’s just making it more complicated for others to understand
Especially if the code looks like the spaghetti monster vomited into the IDE!21 -
Imagine a time when a colleague contributes a shitty spaghetti of non-optimized code that neither use mnemonic variables nor conventional naming of functions, and you can imagine the dark hours of maintaining it and your fingers itch to fix it but you don't have the time and the responsibility too to do it. He doesn't listen to you and you feel bad to tell this to the boss as the colleague is also a friend you've known since college and is a good person otherwise. No options seems to give peace.6
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When you look back at your shit spaghetti code you only wrote 3 days ago, and you don't know whether to laugh or cry.😆😢1
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Yea sure, I'd like to refactor your fucking 1000 loc spagetti code "module" with no documentation at all...3
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There was a task of fixing up a payments page that features pretty complex logic. Initially it was like 200 lines of code, seems short but it was a fucking spaghetti mess. Never seen more cognitively complex code in my life.
So I delete the spaghetti and pull out the 500 lines fucking state machine. It works perfectly. It’s perfectly understandable even though it’s longer.
This is how I deal with problems. Shorter code isn’t always better code.4 -
I started to work in a company as a Wordpress developer, where they made me technical tests even with React (with which I have no problem) and when they explain me about the stack they told me: “You must install XAMPP on MacOS” and deal with their Apache, .htaccess, etc. crap. Then I came across some spaghetti code. I didn't last a week. The developer joke came true.
3 -
I tend to do spaghetti coding when the client is pressuring me on their software, and then after some time they'll become stagnant which basically gives me space to breathe and do code but then the I'd be too lazy to reconstruct the whole thing and just continue until it becomes one big blob of monstrosity.
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The object-oriented model makes it easy to build up programs by accretion. What this often means, in practice, is that it provides a structured way to write spaghetti code.
~Paul Graham -
10 years ago my bosses came to me: Make a few adjustments to the logic of this website. Should be a quick thing they said. Got a zip file later. Hundreds of php files. Inside, thousands of lines of the best PHP/HTML Spaghetti I've ever seen. No CSS though, but lots of nested table layouts. The best part: everything was in french, content, comments, varnames. The original dev didn't use includes for the most repetitive stuff, even db credentials were copied in every file. Took me a week.
Two weeks later: Change that and that please....
We decided to write everything from scratch then. -
After 30 minutes of trying to figure out why a guid is empty, I realize it's because it is initialized, but not assigned.
I'm not ready for Monday. -
I don't know why they made so many algorithms, data structures and big O questions during interview, when all they wanted me to do was to maintain some legacy, tight coupled, spaghetti code with no architecture, documentation, tests nor any kind of engineering behind :/1
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Anyone remember my rant about Go and GTK? Well, the main problem was that it was 3 AM, I've since completed it, and have begun to refactor that spaghetti mess.
I feel so good right now.4 -
I think I may have officially gotten myself fired before I even started a new job. My salaried start date was supposed to be Jan 3 but they hired me to do spot work at my hourly rate until then. My server side PHP skills were never great but they appear to be completely inadequate to the task of patching their undocumented, spaghetti legacy code. I just sent a note basically saying I either need to convert their entire site to something else 3 weeks ahead of the timeframe we planned or to basically outsource my work to another developer to patch this code. Feeling like a total imposter at the moment. I wouldn't hire me.4
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I told you fucking moron clients doing that "little" change would be complicated and in the worst case it would end fucking up your whole spaghetti crap. A really HUGE spaghetti monster of that you aren't aware because you guys don't know a shit about coding conventions.
*Clients call me complaining about their software is broken*
-Hey, we're in serious trouble. Our users aren't being able to see the proper calculated values. Why that little change had so much side effects?
- I already told you why.
- Can you fix it asap? Our clients are complaining.
- No. Deploy an old copy of the affected modules while you give me a prudent time to refactorize that crap.
- Refactorize?
- ...
I used to work in their place, 3 years later I quit that crappy job and decided to make them my clients. I escaped from the micromanaging thing but I didn't from their ugly practices.
Anyways, I have to fix this shit asap. Money talks, at least until I can find a better client. -
I've been writing Java the last few days. Really makes me remember why I enjoy writing objective c / swift so much. It's not necessarily the crazy syntax of objective c. It's the conventions behind the languages. It's very easy to make your code read like prose. Which when you become used to this it's very hard to jump back into spaghetti code with abbreviated variable names and such.3
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So I set up a raspberry pi to control my bedroom lights last year. I decided I wanted to add some more features to it and for the first time since I created it, started looking through the code I wrote.
First thing I noticed was the excessive amount of files I have. Like I get that I just wanted to throw this thing together as quick as I could but did I really need to create a file specifically for storing a 1 or 0 depending if the lights were last turned on or off for a startup check.
Secondly, I seem to have 2 index.html files for some reason.
And finally, the code itself is pure spaghetti. The website is running with a python script, which sends calls to a nodejs server, which executes additional python scripts to control the lights. No comments anywhere, and badly named variables are also a great combo.
And finally there is the occasional "Why the fuck isn't it working, fuck it I'll just unplug the pi and reboot it" that I have been dealing with lately.
Oh and don't forget that the log file is spammed by a debug message that is printed every minute.
God I feel so ashamed. I was proud of this until I looked at it just now.4 -
Who needs clarity and maintainability when you can have the adrenaline rush of debugging spaghetti code? 💻🦸♂️2
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PHP code that didn't use sanitize, but manually checked if strings contained ' or ". Not even in a function, but manually implemented whenever the person writing that burning dumpsterfire thought it was a good idea to check for that.
Code also didn't report, it just exited without error code. Users would just get a white screen if that spaghetti code "security" system got tripped. -
Another project, another team, another shitshow in codebase.
Now instead of doing work and implementing long awaited features... few weeks of minor refactorings ahead, untangling unnecessary complexities...
... but mostly - explaining the team why their 12-months work is pile of shitty spaghetti, and how it should really be done.
Explaining basics to "seniors" is the most exhausting thing.3 -
Such glorious Wednesday...
#1: Friend needs me to keep her cats, hasn't called yet to give me keys (and she's leaving tonight).
#2: Got an e-mail from a job I applied, rejected cause I flunked the impromptu technical interview (with the usual pretty wording).
#3: Helping a friend with his dissertation code in Java. Just a marvellous spaghetti code with minimal semblance of a structure and a hodgepodge of various solutions found on the Internet. 2H 40M and still nothing... At least I have my stress ball to save me from mental breakdown...1 -
In freelance world,
Some Computer Science degree holder (from client company) explain how good are they in Software development.
But when as soon as my team and I (after got criticized by this guy for the fact that my team and I don't have a degree in computer science) review their code, the code is a bunch of spaghetti! No proper Architecture, no documentation, and everything in one class?
Damn...4 -
Using the new project as an excuse to try out the language I was an absolute newbie at. (Python, at the time).
A couple years later when I’m much more proficient and I go back and look at that code, I want to slap past me for putting that spaghetti mess into production. -
Does anyone here reject a requirement because there exists no elegant solution to it and you shall die before writing spaghetti code?🤔6
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So a trainee made a website at the company where I also have my internship, he finished his internship earlier than I did. But the problem is I'm now fixing his site and it's literally falling apart! I fixed one problem and a dozen apear! His code is the definition of spaghetti code. It's so extremely bad I can't handle this, I don't want to do this anymore, just someone please drive a knife trough my chest. This is unbearable HE CREADED A HTML PAGE INSIDE ANOTHER ONE flipping heck how could you think that's how things work!1
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Not really a fight but another Dev was telling me how I should implement things and to keep the code clean and clear/not spaghetti.
In the back of my mind I'm going yeah... I know what I'm doing... probably better than you.
I'm usually the guy telling other ppl to clean up their shit..or forced to dig thru it when their stuff blows up in production.
Anyway I'm going to add him to code review and maybe email the whole team... and then go, now this is how I want our code to look.11 -
When I started doing frontend development, I was quite shocked with how people managed to cowboy code their way into building fully functional products with a decent paying client base.
I am talking about fully function SaaS with payment gateway and all, but no version control beyond full backup copies, and spaghetti code everywhere you can literally bring the website down trying to change the homepage design.
... and the startups that managed to do better, some of them forgot the .git on production exposing their entire source code *facepalm* -
Ugh I really wish I could just decide on something and role with it, haven't touched my book or website for a while so of course my websites code is all fucking horrible and spaghetti and I want to rewrite and revisit a lot of my book -,-
Why can't I just be happy with something like this! -
Things I learned in this 2 month training in an IT company ;
- the way @marcerisson wanted me and my group project team to use Git (and kept yelling at us about ) is actually the proper, professional way of using Git
- there is a difference between an MVC model and a fucking pack of overcomplicated spaghetti code
- commenting your code and naming your variables properly IS IMPORTANT especially when another dev might read it 15 years later (i see you Mr I Name All my Variables With the Name Of the Function and A Number)
- « if it worls it ain’t stupid » also apply in a professional area
- where ´s my fucking rubber duck2 -
Once I maintained one of the most used and fucked up codebases on the market with almost 1M+ daily users. (cannot say more, sorry).
It's written in PHP and is absolutely terrifying,
the first time I saw some lines of code I was about to scream and cry.
- spaghetti code
- no indentation
- random SQL query unoptimized
- unused vars
- Code is split among several files with no logical reasoning
- Mixed procedural and oop programming
- Unsanitised user input (yes, you got it right)
No test environment, no backup database, every commit goes straight to production.
It's a real disaster but the company prefers to keep it as it is without refactoring or anything else.
Just to make it clear:
It's not hatred against PHP, it's against the code's current status and the older programmers which used to work on it.5 -
I'm officially at a point of writing software that I know this snippet of code will be absolute hell for the next developer to maintain.
Doesn't matter how well I document it, doesn't matter how well I break down the problem.
The `why` of the problem is gonna drive the maintainer crazy later. The most dangerous part, it might as well be me in the coming months.
RIP the next developer, who will have to maintain my spaghetti (includes me).1 -
What is easy to code at the moment isnt necessarily the best code in the long run.
- From the dev currently maintaining spaghetties of spaghetti code -
Android Notification in react !
i wanted to publish this a long time ago but i was super busy.
today i did it tho.
the code is still spaghetti !
https://nikandlv.github.io/react-mu...
6 -
So today 1st April is the only date you can say mean things back to your coworker and say "April's Fool"
Eg. "Hey your code like spaghetti with sauce , go get ketchup, btw April's fool".18 -
Give me your legacy, your undocumented,
Your huddled classss yearning to be bug free,
The wretched security holes of your multiple backdoors.
Send these, the testless, spaghetti-code to me,
I lift my keyboard beside the golden door! -
I totally want to refactor my project's code, but I don't have any time for it and now it's a working piece of spaghetti-ish 😭
I'm just praying I'll get to do it once it's actually finished, so I don't have to work with it again in like a year and want to travel back in time and murder myself.13 -
Spaghetti code
Mixing about 27 functionalities in an 800-lines-function accessing global variables.2 -
Why are you all so obsessed with hating jQuery? For me it just does the job done. Animate stuff. But I agree being totally dependant on javascript is bad for any website. Seen hundreds of wordpress spaghetti code where fancy effects were made with jquery like CSS opacity 0 and jquery animate to 1... What a bullshit. But yeah I still love jquery. Easy, fast and reliable.3
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Today I was forced to write spaghetti code.
When your database structure isn't set up properly, that happens...
I'm already sure I will need to revisit this piece of literal shit when we revise that structure. Though, it'll be much easier and logical, and I'll probably be able to just delete a big part of the code and implement it as intended. -
Fucking Django is the only project thaat claims to be for perfectionist but actually is a steaming pile of spaghetti code, data transfer objects, configuration objects and useless wrappers and shit. I mean this shits made by adults with computer science degrees how the fuck can they get that shit so wrong?15
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Famous quote time! I forget who said it, and the number varies a bit from one retelling to the next, but one that has always stuck in my mind since I heard it is the following:
“I’d fire any programmer who spends more than [10 | 25]% of his time coding.”
I’ve always taken this as an admonition to spend time charting out solutions before building, instead of churning out stream of consciousness spaghetti code, personally.
Any thoughts from the broader community on the topic?2 -
!rant
In my team, I am not allowed to use ANY comments except for the really lengthy classes in the backend.
Thus, the code of the whole project (a complex webapp, consisting of 20-something Django projects and various services) is basically undocumented.
The slogan sounds "good code doesn't need commenting".
Seriously, fuck this and all of the times I scratched my head wondering "what the fuck is this spaghetti about".
Have any of you encountered something like this? Usually people don't want to comment, I would do it gladly but can't even make a small inline about what complex method is exactly doing :P3 -
Got accepted as a part-time FE developer in a well-known company.
Reality check: all I do is maintain a horribly formatted spaghetti code (20k+ lines in a file) using ancient tech like PL/SQL, prototypeJS and IE11.
Buy hey, at least I know some SQL magic now.. Right?!7 -
I managed to clean up the React part of my project, and now everything is smooth AF *.*
But boy oh boy did I fuck up big time, any console.log() written under the render section of anywhere was triggered around 4 times! I still have to rebuild everything (I only finished the dashboard so far) but it will be cleaner that I could ever hope2 -
Anything related to UIs or data science
That, working with a spaghetti codebase, or unhelpful and not nice teammates -
Say what you want about spaghetti code written by either you yourself or other people, dealing with it is a massive requirement for becoming a dev.2
-
Lately I take work literally seriously, not due to motivation but due to fear, more on that later, but this is what I think about lately while I'm working
> that line of code should fix it
> oh shit I should've checked logs
> let me check logs
> let me put 10 breakpoints in code and javascript in chrome
> why is this bug not reproducing?
> why I have to work on someone else's spaghetti code?
> this loop iterates over all customers' data I'll just step over it, Oh fuck I resumed
etc etc
I'm feared because where I live, isn't a good place for software developers as there aren't companies which hire, those who hire need ninja developers who complete 1 JIRA Sprint/Phase in 1 day, Here I feel safe as there are people to correct me plus coffee machine -
Man, I enjoy the work I do and my boss is a great guy, but being rushed is never fun. And it's hard to say "it'll be done soon" if there's still some major features missing and the implementation is still unclear.
Can't a junior just take his time to make some decent code that won't end as spaghetti? I have enough PTSD of the first project I did here, which I still have to bugfix at least once a month 😂 -
Jesus Christ, Minecraft source code (with forge in this case) is such a clusterfuck of spaghetti logic. It's especially fun when it uses a lot of reflection and dynamic class lookups...3
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God, overhauling an entire application is tiring. Having to swim through mountains of spaghetti code is strenuous. I'm going to die before I ever finish >_<3
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When there is no domain layer so the controllers are 2k+ lines of spaghetti, so after 5 months trying to fight iet you just give in and ask the gods of code for forgiveness1
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When every related field has a god damn different way of working with the data on hand..
For example:
`tht_date` ("Y-m-d", Date) - expiration date on the product, hence, there can be multiple of the same products with a different THT
`tht_alert` ("-2 months", varchar, DateTime modify mutation string) - sending an alert when this interval is hit, and being the activator of the tht_date field (unless value is "none")
`tht_minimum` ("28", integer, quantity of days before tht_date) - to lock them from being sent out/collected.
...
How would you expect this ×not× to become a friggin' spaghetti when trying to resolve the best row ID?
These values are in the wrong spot in the first place, then they also act entirely different in relation to eachother..
I hate the person that set this up, for doing this. When is the madness going to stop...
FFS!! -
Just reed a comment in the fucking shitty codebase im working on :
/* temporary fix */
I’m fucking done guys !
2 -
Genuinely asking some rare pokemon php developers that are up to date with the tech (all php devs I know stopped learning when my grandpa was like 5 years old) to show me php code that is not spaghetti bolognese. I am asking this as I am yet to witness such code for the first time in my life (and I am coding since 94')!13
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Ever have one of those days where you work really hard on something only to be completely defeated by the architecture you're working in. I seriously want to rearchitect this entire damn project. Spaghetti code doesn't even begin to touch it.1
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Six different .NET solutions using reflection to interface with each other just made OOP look a lot like spaghetti code.4
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Got frustrated with trying to shoehorn an overly-customized, spaghetti code WooCommerce implementation back into one that is easier to maintain via plugins. Got on my bike and rode north toward my old neighborhood until I started recognizing landmarks. Part of me wants to keep riding and never return.
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Stupid shits, if I am converting this app from the VBA to a modern web app. Don't fucking suggest me copying and pasting tens of thousands of lines of shitty spaghetti code, into a new Web project.4
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My first game jam,
I was first excited about coding but when I started, I was caring about making my code clean, and I lost too much time focusing on this... You should see the end, such a mess ! Spaghetti code, pointers everywhere but hey, it worked 😊 -
I've spent the last 3 days trying to figure out what on earth was going through the head of a (now departed) contractor when he wrote the code I'm trying to fix. Took a reasonably simple part of the system and convoluted it to the point where it makes no sense! And we've realised it's not complete either!! Fun times... they are not. 😕4
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Sigh.. KILL ME.. It's of those days.
Unfortunately I'm one of the few that has experience with PHP at the office. I'm asked to add some features to a website and it's custom CMS, both written by a designer. Spaghetticode here I come 😕😡1 -
TYPO3: You can use this hook to modify all links generated on the website. Well, all links except those few over there, which for some reason use a completely different class that does basically the same thing, and will even call your hook, but then ignore the result completely.
Me: Fuck you! I've spent almost a day trying to find the right hook, because they are all undocumented, have stupid names and every time I get close to a solution, some other part of your code decides to circumvent the hook.
Also me: After spending hours sifting through the depths of the TYPO3 core, I seriously wonder why it works at all. Spaghetti code, classes fetching properties directly instead of using the getters, loads of global variables... Wtf is wrong with that thing?
And people say WordPress is shitty code.1 -
Working with passed on spaghetti code.
Glaring at author's name.
Wherever you are.. I will find you.
And I will kill you. -
A senior dev wrote spaghetti code containing business logic in the fucking controller with some code repeated in a couple of other places.
This is when a facepalm is not enough.1 -
somewhere in every spaghetti code there is a mysterious CTRL + C and CTRL + V that just can't explain itself2
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At my new organization , they love spaghetti code, they neither want me to refactor it, because it works. Special thanks to php.6
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I had a discussion with my colleagues about my bachelor thesis.
Together we created within the last 18 month a REST-API where we use LDAP/LMDB as database (tree structured storage). Of course our data is relational and of course we have a high redundancy there. It's a 170 call API and I highly doubt that it's actually conforming REST.
Ensuring DB integrity is done in the backend and coding style there is "If we change it at one place, let's make sure to also change it everywhere else", so you get a good impression how much of spaghetti code we have there.
Now I proposed to code a solution in my bachelor thesis where we use a relational database (we even have an administrated Oracle DB with high availability) and have a write-only layer to also store the data in LDAP but my colleagues said that "it would add too much complexity to the system".
Instead I should write the relational layer myself and fetch the data somehow from the existing LDAP tree.
What the actual fuck, spaghetti code is what makes the system really unnecessarily complex so that no one will understand that code in 2 years.
Congratulations, you just created legacy code that went into production in 2018 while not accepting the opportunity to let that legacy code get eliminated.
Now good luck with running and maintaining that system and it's inconsistencies.1 -
Coworker 1 starts project
Coworker 2 inherits same project
*repeat 3 more times*
Coworker n has no idea what this spaghetti code is and what it does since everyone has done quick fixes as per management requirements.
This is how the company where i work functions. And with all these projects going from one dev to the other i can tell you its a real shitshow and a lot if frustration 😤2 -
You can be very good at writing algorithms and good quality code, but if your architecture is garbage, you'll be doing hacky fixes and end up with a spaghetti code.3
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Praise the Jesus/Allah/Buddha/Flying Spaghetti Monster, the newest Visual Studio Code version doesn't require reset after extension installation!1
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Oh boy, I just made a class with 5 methods and 10111 lines.
I'm "proud" of myself
(It's kind of an autogenerated class for, but nah...)2 -
FOR FUCKING FUCK SAKE
I have a shit ton work to do. Just finished (hopefully) all of my exams, came back to work and got tasked with simultaneously developing a new app (Android), adjusting some of my own code to work with client's specific requirements in completely different project (C#) and also I have to fix a legacy app (Android) because UE comitee will be visiting us on wendesday.
I've never seen this code earlier. I've never seen this WHOLE SHITTY PROJECT. Guy that was developing this left few years back.
It's a complete spaghetti. 550 FUCKING LINES OF CODE for a one class, most of the methods are deprecated and won't even try to work on Android > 4.0. No documentation. Nothing works. Whole code is ridden with bugs, warnings and looks like it's glued together with duct tape. I even had to migrate from fucking Maven to Gradle it's that old. -
'bout 8 hrs on trying to read spaghetti that uni-mates wrote for a project to create a drunkgame webapp. We had a good time but their code lacked meatballs 👨💻☕
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Nothing like trying to understand a single 1500-line source file that implements the API usage in the frontend. Without a single comment.
No, wait. There are comments! But it's only commented-out code. Or explicit shit (like "gets the version" before a getAssetVersion function).
Functions with unused parameters? ✅
Weird var names (like "tmpX")? ✅
`console.log(var)` everywhere? ✅
Long-ass lines with 150+ chars? ✅
Duplicate code? ✅✅
Not a single interface was used so everything is var: any? ✅
Random unreadable RegEx? ✅
If-chains of 6+ more levels? ✅
Many `else if` towers instead of a switch? ✅
And did I mention it was written by a fucker who can't speak proper English so shit like visiable, cataloge and isExist is everywhere? Yeah.
Fun day at the office reading spaghetti code 🙃 -
The term 'continuous rot' just came to mind as something like this: A lone/sole developer is hired to implement a solution but dispite the illusional good intent shared by everyone at the beginning, time constrains will soon come into play and the code deteriorates at a rapid pace until the developer can't handle it anymore... But someone else comes to continue the work... And the rot continues... And once again... And again...again....
Anyone?1 -
Disclaimer: the project I'm about to mention contains the first lines of Go I have ever written.
Still, I'm quite proud of how quickly I got it working considering it's also my first time working with GTK.
This project that I've been working on the past few days is finally done. But it's %50 percent spaghetti, so refactoring time. I decided to have a look at my cyclomatic complexity numbers, and my biggest function (not main()) had it at 7.
As it was quite large, I split it up into to parts: the preparation and the actual timer loop. As I appear to need to use a goroutine, by the time I'm done passing channels and all hell to handle them, my loop function now has a score of 9 for cyclomatic complexity.
So fix one bug, leaves two in its place?
But I still need to better learn Go, anyone have a good (relatively painless, informative, quick-ish) course they can recommend? I've been thinking of trying out codecademy's one...6 -
When you feel that only you and maybe one other guy from the team care about product and do effort to actually refactor legacy spaghetti code while others just patch it up or even build changes on top of legacy spaghetti!2
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Fixing a faulty plugin modification from a former developer, and no documentation, plugin provider wants payment for support...
Me crying on the side near to pull the trigger -
For donkey, one can argue that WordPress is great, but for the developer, it really sucks. Customize it, feels like your soul tormented in eternal hell with its spaghetti code and unreadable variables.
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When you play on lagacy shit spaghetti monster code with a fucking ass crack boss don't understand anything and bullshit you (yaya that code is perfect) !
I just want to drop that fucking job full of shit
Week 2 😂🤣😭 8 months come2 -
I wonder if there is any tool to measure the amount of spaghetti code in my project... it feels really messed up.
Anyone got a testing tool at hand for it?5 -
[Music]
-Do you like spaghetti?
-Yes I do, Yes I do.
-Do you like code?
-Yes I do, Yes I do.
-... Do you like... Spaghetti Code?
-No I don't, Yucky!
(Anyone with a toddler would get this)
(Honestly, I liked spaghetti code) -
I think promoting 'a quick lookup on Google' every single time you need to add something useful into your codebase is a bad mentality. It's the same problem with populating your code with Stackoverflow snippets.
I think this is not a good approach because your code will eventually rot and you won't have full control over your codebase in that you didn't write those parts and you don't fully know what's going on underneath. Then, you will forget about that code. A new feature request will come up and oh no, you will be wrestling with your old code because you just quickly inserted it in there, not fully knowing it under the hood. Hours will be lost on debugging.
I advocate much more the approach of really knowing the language and the solutions you're using, instead of just constantly hacking it with the excuse of "Oh, there's no time to learn everything", "You don't need to know the details" and "This is the real world".
No, this is not a good attitude. With the former approach, you will be much more able to safeguard your code and improve on it, rather than wrestling for hours with it. I think it's important to have as much ownership of your code as possible and depend as little on outside libraries as possible.
Fundamentals first, practicality second.2 -
Last week I found this on some spaghetti code I was analyzing:
if (boolVar) {
...
}
if (!boolVar) {
...
}
if (boolVar) {
...
} -
I suspect my more “senior” colleague on my team consistently thwarts my ideas and continues to make bad programming decisions because no one else wants to deal with the code we own and he’s just trying to have job security by making it so that he’s the only one who understands this bowl of spaghetti.2
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I just had to re-run some old scripts written in python, after a year and a half without using the language. Much spaghetti code, but strangely inebriating. 😯
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This moment when you pressed your "Auto-Indent" Hotkey and the whole software doesn't run anymore. Later you realize that it's because of your Auto-Indent and even worse - you realize you have to code on top of the spaghetti code...
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Don't spend your time trying to learn everything you need to know by reading books or watching videos. Anything you don't use immediately you'll forget and it'll go to waste. Instead, learn the bare minimum required for getting started and make stuff! After writing some buggy spaghetti code that somehow works, you're ready to read/watch some more. Then rinse and repeat.
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Oh for fucks sake! Why so we have threading when we synchronize EVERYTHING with a singleton... and when I actually show you that even unthreaded spaghetti code runs 40% faster under real life conditions than your shit you just brush it of because I'm still at university and don't know what I'm talking about... And not because changing it would require money or time we don't have... no, just because I “lack the necessary experience with such things.“
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Just started rewatching Jurassic Park for the millionth time and can you imagine working with someone like Dennis Nedry? The messy workspace, spaghetti code, the only one with knowledge of completely obscure and complex code....hits a bit too close home1
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It seems they mistaken me for italian giving me spaghetti all over the product. Go to frontend to check the app, react with weird jQuery, no routes, pages summoned by the templates that have concatenated values and html in vanilla js, changing screens/pages with jQuery, no router... ok lets see the other app, react, redux, offline capabilities and tought myself niicee hut nothing work as intended with clusterfuck of hacky workarounds that makes app look like it is working but with hardcoded data. Offline means automatic sync when you get the network back, right? Oh backend never developed any sync, so you guys can do it, we have to fix and patch some important stuff! I don't like php but whatever, let's see what is going on there... So much spaghetti bolognese there that Bologna actually called to ask if they can buy some, they are out of stock because of us!
This is just like that song mess.css from stdout, but in any file you open!
Living on deserted island eating grass and coconut for the rest of the life doesn't seem so bad atm!4 -
As if I fucking care if you have to add another parameter to my function call. Just because you think it's easier, does not mean its more usefull.
It's inconsistent as F U C K
You code IS spaghetti code. Your logic is closer a maze on a fucking one way street and I don't fucking care if it works. It's a pain1 -
I keep telling myself "I can do this, I can change this", but then I'm forced to write untested undesigned spaghetti code cause we need another hotfix for 3 hours from now...
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The original idea of the starter lines goes to someone here like over a year ago or something. Found this piece while cleaning my desk and thought you would appreciate it.
Rubber duck
What the fuck
Why didn't you tell
This god awful smell
Of this spaghetti code
I guess you reap
What you sow
Rubber duck
What the fuck
I'm out of luck -
to me, "var a" is unorthodox. i'd rather use switch(expectedOutput){case 1:a=1;break;case 2:a=2;break;case 3:a=3;break;case 4:a=4;break;case 5:a=5;break;case 6:a=6;break;case 7:a=7;break;case 8:a=8;break;case 9:a=9;break;case 10:a=10;break;case 11:a=11;break;case 12:a=12;break;case 13:a=13;break;case 14:a=14;break;case 15:a=15;break;case 16:a=16;break;case 17:a=17;break;case 18:a=18;break;case 19:a=19;break;case 20:a=20}1
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Have you already met the code that you have no idea how to refactor?
In five years I met those twice and I'm still puzzled with one of them. (I don't mean just a spaghetti or too long code) -
I am in a slump. I keep writing spaghetti code. Is there any platform where I can practice Object Oriented principles?1
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In finals, I was prepared to write code for any given problem. Instead, the professor gave code snippet itself for all questions and asked to write output. No comments, nothing. Just pure spaghetti code. Wasted so much time in analyzing the code that I had to leave a couple of questions unattended. Moreover each question weighted for around 8 marks. So, just one miscalculation means 8 marks is into the void. I'm feeling like I'd get just enough marks to clear the subject.1
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The worst thing ever is freaking NS datatypes, who thought that was a good idea? My code looked fine and worked fine till you made it spaghetti, thanks apple
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Apparently I just realized we've been migrating our system in the wrong order....
The cross systems dependencies are like spaghetti code....
Data Flow: Old -> Upstream (that i need) -> Old -> New
So in order to migrate a feature to the new system... I still need our old system... indirectly...
WTF?!?!?!
I thought Topological Sort was a topic taught in CS... and everyone but me were CS graduates....
How the fuck did they screw this up?!?!?! -
As an android dev when I inherited a shitty project thats when I realized what really means to write readable and most importantly testable code. Codebase I inherited wasnt even really that bad it was quite readable, but boy it was not suited for any unit/instrumented tests. im talking spaghetti code.
Nowadays I refactor apps to make sure they are testable instead of spending weeks writing tests for a shitty codebase which was done without thinking about separation of concerns. Clients hate the extra couple weeks on top of request but what can I do, if they want tests they need to work with TDD approach or give extra time for refactors. -
What's the general Software Engineering rule of thumb again for frontend templating code?
If I look at certain websites, I notice some code smells in PHP such as:
$.modal = <?php echo $(base)["username"] != 'me' ?' ': echo 'style="display=none"' ?>
or just in general places in the code where PHP gets used as a templating engine for gluing together pieces of HTML code based on conditionals spread out over the codebase and the database itself too. To make things worse, this carries over to JavaScript ajax functions. As a developer, this to me just seems like spaghetticode.
On the other hand, many popular frameworks properly do templating, such as EJS, containing templating in one place and not mixing it with logic too much but just having simple output like <%= %>.
I know I've seen frameworks like Angular 1 contain pieces of HTML into directives, but maybe that's something different, more 'OO'-simulating or cleaner.3 -
So I’m taking a class on compilers (currently a college student) and as I get further into a coding project we have to do I can feel and see my code degrading into a giant mass of spaghetti. Although I know that I should refactor it because it is messy (currently trying to find a balance between refactoring and actually getting the assignment done) the scary thing is some students in my class think this is perfectly normal code and is what good code looks like. Scary thought that so many people graduating from university have no concept of object orientation, reusability, etc... but what’s even scarier is most professors could not give two shits about any of these notions. I guess this is the biggest reason why a computer science degree does not prepare you for a job in industry.
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Got a full stack job in a really large org. They write shit code and refuse to comment on code saying the code should explain itself.
And I’m like yeah but if you’re writing spaghetti code at least fucking comment why.
The new job’s pay is like 2x my old job so it’s really fucking good pay but my brain is melting from frustrations with these devs.4 -
I bet I'm the only one that reads spaghetti PHP better than whatever python script
I fucking hate all those ":" around the code.
Note: I don't want to start a war over which is better, they both get the job done in their way.
Also, none really will change its mind anyway, so just don't start a war, please?6 -
If the project is the landscape of the client's requirements and the code is the map into it.
Where in the f*cking abyss am I right now?? #LegacyCodes1 -
Am I going crazy or is this some real nasty looking spaghetti code?
https://github.com/neovim/neovim/...3 -
Starts new codebase
uses boilerplate with the intent to keep a clean structure.
after 2 weeks it already a complete bunch of spaghetti code and doing things like putting the same image in 4 different directories... boy i wonder why i could never hold down a job as employee...2 -
When I get a code review by my self-proclaimed expert colleague suggesting a change that ends up breaking the feature, I just implement that spaghetti code and let the testers know I'm not to blame.
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Being greedy is good at some point, but when you're so greedy that you take up a project without any tickets (JIRA Sprint) and requirements over Skype.
That being said, managers should not get greedy all the time.
I mean when the previous developer left he made is so difficult(I am assuming) to run that hourly job, that it took me around
> 4 hours to fix spaghetti code still job not running,
> Fix missing parameters still not working
Finally said to the manager that the configurations are not on the server which are being used in the code. -
!rant
Let's say that you have (or had) a colleague that you utterly despise for whatever reason. Have you ever wrote convoluted or straight up spaghetti code on purpose just to make his/her life harder?
(I am aware that authoring bad code can bite you in the ass down the line, just curious to see if anyone ever went that far) -
I lose interest in my job whenever someone goes into my perfectly decoupled code and adds spaghetti code into it to make things just work for them. Sigh...when will people understand and learn to write maintainable software...
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Arrgh...
I need to do a lot of refactoring and testing (%80 percent of which is integration) and ITS SO TEDIOUS!!!
Now, for anyone who says "oh, you write spaghetti code, your code shouldn't be so tedious to refactor". No. It's only tedious because it's a few thousand lines that I've been too lazy to refactor till now, and I need to go through it all.
Anybody have any advice for refactoring or testing in Go?17
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