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boss' revenge
So here https://devrant.com/rants/1349878/... posted prank played on boss. For 3days I been freaking out what boss will do as revenge (check env and alias everytime I login). Then yesterday happened his revenge.
Was doing testing on my programs & sometime some programs would run but sometime it get segmentation fault. Seemed random first but then saw a pattern... everytime I get segmentation fault and I run again it would be fine. Checked alias... nothing, /etc/crontab, env, ps -ef... nothing seemed off, cksum of my binary... correct. Fuck! "What my boss did?" asked myself. Finally .5hrs later I saw entry in my id's crontab but then 1min later it's gone from my crontab
From there figured out how boss did it:
1) He replaced ntpd with his C program that runs in background creating an entry in my crontab every few mins
2) The entry in my crontab set to run /foobar/ulittleprick.sh every 2mins
3) ulittleprick.sh picks random binary owned by me, rename binary.name to .binary.name.nitwit and create a script named binary.name
4) Then ulittleprick.sh will remove itself from cron
What the generated binary.name script does? Sleep for 2 secs, echo "Segmentation fault", then rename back .binary.name.nitwit to binary.name. It even exits with status 139! I want to cry! Worst part is comment in 2nd line of ulittleprick.sh... kill me now
29 -
Just heard I will be a father for the second time!! Those devRant stickers will look great in the nursery!
17 -
Am I the only one that will have my headphones on (without music) just so people will not bother me?19
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"You will get a month to finish this project."
"I will be honest and give you are a realistic deadline. It will take about 2 months."
"But ${random} company told me they will take one month."
"As you can see from your previous project, they will say one month and will drag it to two-three months by making excuses"
"No, I don't think you are good enough for it. I will pass it to them."
"..."6 -
On Thursday, May 20, 2088 9:55:59 PM, my life will be complete: Unix Epoch time will equal 0xdeadbeef.10
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I have decided to never write commits.
I will never write documentation.
I will write my code in the most confusing way possible.
I will include useless code.
I will always git commit with the message "asdfghjkl" or "HAHA LOLZ I DONT NOW WAT I WOROTEEE"
I will work at Apple.
I am xenophobic.
I will leave the company right before we push to production.
I will make so many friends.11 -
My dad believes in hiding his passwords in plain sight
He puts them all in a
readme.txt sitting next to the Canon printer exe file. 😂2 -
Business: How long will it take to add that feature to the legacy system?
Programmer: When will the new system be implemented?
Business: 6 months
Programmer: The new feature will take 7 months3 -
UPDATE: devRant Trans-Oceanic Journey Community Project
It was a mere 12 days ago that I asked the question; 'Could devRanters, as a community, build a 21st Century Technology-Laden ‘devRant devie-Stressball-in-a-Bottle’ and send it on a journey across the Atlantic ocean?
I am thrilled to report that devRanters enthusiastically accepted this difficult challenge. A core team quickly formed and a tremendous amount of research and progress has been made in a short period of time. I want to give you a high level-flavor of what we are doing. Please keep in mind we still need your help. We welcome all develops to take part in this journey.
I want to give appreciation to the devRant Founders @dfox and @trogus. Without your support and sponsorship this project would not have been possible. devRant brought us together and it a reality. Devie journeying across the Ocean the Columbus sailed will stir the imagination of children and adults worldwide when we launch on May 1, 2017.
Some of the research and action items in progress:
- Slack and trello environments were created to capture research and foster discussion.
- A Stony Brook University Oceanography Professor suggested the Gulf Stream would be a good pathway across the ocean. We researched it very and agree. The Gulf Stream has been a trans-Atlantic conduit for hundreds of years. We are deciding whether to launch from Cape Hatteras, NC or the Virginia coast. Both have easy access to the rapid currents in the Gulf Stream.
- We are researching every detail of the Gulf Stream to make the journey easier and faster for devie. We have maps and a team member gathered valuable ideas reading a thorough book – ‘The Gulf Stream’.
- We decided on using a highly resilient plastic rather than glass for the bottle material. Plastic is much lighter, faster and glass breaks down more easily. The lightweight enclosure will allow us to take full advantage of waves and ample trade winds. We are still discussing the final design as we want to minimize friction and mimic the non-locomotion fish that migrate thousands of miles riding the Gulf Stream.
-The enclosure might be 3D printed unless we can locate a commercial solution. We have 3D specs and are speaking with some experts. There are advantages and dis-advantages to each solution.
- We will be using Iridiums' RockBLOCK two-way satellite technology to bounce lat-long coordinate pings off their 36 low-orbit satellites. The data will be analyzed by our devRant devie analysis software. IOS and Android public apps being built by the team will display devie's location throughout the journey in.
- Arduino will be used as the brains
- Multiple sensors including temperature and depth are being considered
-A project plan will be published to the team Friday 12/9. Sorry I am a few days late but adding some new ideas.
There are still a lot of challenges we must overcome and we will.
That’s all for now. I will send updates and all ideas / comments are valued.
6 -
One month ago. By email.
Boss: so, this client A has a problem with one of our devices and he believes that it's a bug in the software.
Me: all right then, what happens?
Boss: well, he says that the parameter P in the option menu does not changes the device's behaviour as it is supposed to. I'll forward you his mail. You will find attached an excell file with the results of his test performed with and without the parameter active.
Me: < read mail, read excell file > well, boss, his tests are performed in completely different conditions, how could he expect to infer a meaningful results from this?
Boss: damn, you are right. Send him a test plan and follow up.
Me: < send detailed test plan >
No answer in a week. Then...
Client: hi, there, I made this tests, I attached the excell with the results, can you check the software now?
Me: < read another bullshit filled excell file with none of the suggested test performed >
You know what? Just download the procedures you are using from the device and send them by mail, specifying the software version you are using so we can perform some tests here in the lab and get yo a solution asap.
No response. For a MONTH.
Super Boss: client A still has his problem, how could possibly be that it takes more than A FUCKING MONTH to solve his issue??
Me:...4 -
Today I'm gonna try to do a few push ups or sit ups every time my code fails to compile. Do you think I'm gonna be a better coder or a body builder at the end of the day?6
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Everytime I have to execute several commands to do something, I tell myself:
I will write a script for that.
But now I have no time.
I will do it the next time.
I will never write these scripts.4 -
Beginner: I wrote 1,000 lines of code!
Intermediate: I deleted 1,000 lines of code!
Expert: I prevented code from being written!1 -
Looking at the number of JavaScript frameworks that are popping up these days..
a day will come, when human race will get extinct and only JS frameworks will survive like cockroaches..!!3 -
Ubuntu's default desktop environment will be Gnome from version 18.04. They will finally abandon bloated unity.10
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my fucking boss wants me to wear formal clothes to work (no tracksuit, no hoodie etc...), it's like i will type 1/3x faster with my FUCKING TIE! I WANT TO MURDER THE MOTHERFUCKER15
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We had a guest lecture about computer science and gender equality, and it was exciting to see my male classmates so supportive of drawing more women into our field...They are so tired of taking biology courses just so they can look at pretty girls 😂11
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Advice to all new programmers, take this one from personal experience. DO NOT PUT SWEAR WORDS IN DEBUG STATEMENTS.
You will miss one, it will go to production and it will get picked up by your log monitoring...2 -
Client: We're going to introduce a mobile application.
Me: What will be the features?
Client: It will open up our webpage.
Me:
6 -
Once a day, take some time to read your colleagues' commits.
You will see how they work, you will learn how they solve problems, you will understand their flow and you will know more and more parts of the code base.1 -
So my friend who was talking about Privacy and stuff about a minute ago is now using Google and Facebook.
Why?26 -
How to step up the level of emotional torture PhD students are subjected to by academia:
In addition to the normal status for submitted papers, which are "received", "under review" and "decision pending", let's add "undisclosed"!
Which means they know about the decision, you know they know, they know you know they know, but they will still leave you hanging for an unknown period of time, bathing in acidic dread.
11 -
TeamLeader: I need you to stop disagreeing with the decision of the management, the people in there are taking their decision for a reason.
IHateForALiving: When integration tests were failing, the management decided to comment out the ingration tests; god knows how many bugs slipped by.
When users had problems with the idiotic migration process the management designed, the management decided to remove down migrations; it took two weeks before the QA team started screaming, as all their machines were filled with garbage data.
I was writing type definitions for my code, you removed it. You effectively ensured the only person capable of working on that particular piece of code would be me.
I have been proposing for 8 months to make a unified scheduled jobs system, you all decided to create at least 5 different -and incompatible- implementations, at least 4 of them are total garbage with setTimeout, there's no way to ever unify them and God willing they never break, if they do there's NO WAY to find out even where tf they're hidden in the code.
Every time you were making one of those bad decision I was the only one warning you of the problems you were creating. The idiotic change of the day is going MongoDB+Angular: I can keep a low profile if you want, but when this blows up you can be damn well sure I'll handle my 2 weeks notice because there's no way on earth I'll be stuck with the aftermath of you lot taking technical decisions you are clearly unable to manage.11 -
Top advice to give to a new dev? Go back in time and download devRant, then buy a rubber ducky. Yes, I finally got mine 👍🏻
3 -
Tomorrow will be the first time I'll be interviewing candidates for hiring. Any advice?
P.S.: This will be first time an interviewer will be more nervous than the candidates. 🤔🤔15 -
I wanted to be a dev when the only on campus job that paid more than minimum wage was titled "Web Developer". It paid 13 bucks / hour. AWYEAH.
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Confession time.
I mix naming styles in my code. Some variables will be camelcase, some will have underscores, some will be all lowercase.
Classes are always title case though. Anything else is barbaric.4 -
Lets see what you prefer! 🤔
Linux (including mac) will +1
Windows guys will Comment
Neutral once will -15 -
"Unable to capture the screen
This application or your company does not allow you to take screenshots."
I think it's time for root...
21 -
!rant
In july chrome will mark all http-pages as not secure and firefox will follow.
Worst of all, those insecure pages won't be allowed to access the microphone and other features any more. What will i do in cafes now?12 -
Pro Tips:
Edison: “I have not failed 10,000 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 10,000 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.”6 -
And if you don't know, now you know
"Microsoft will adopt Google Chrome's controversial Manifest V3 in Edge"
https://theregister.com/2020/10/...25 -
After class: Dr, it's pronounced as JAY-sun not J S O N.
Next class: So students, today we will work on passing a J S O N object.13 -
One day I will make my very own js framework and I will make a built in function to automatically make to-do lists. I will provide a 1 line tutorial and claim it is the best.
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The hype of "we will have autonomous cars by 2025" reminds me the 2017 hype of "we will have autonomous cars by 2021". I guess if you try this PR trick enough times, eventually you will get it right.11
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I dont get people, who work in the IT business but does not have a genuine interest in it.
Everything they will do will be bad
They will not learn nice stuff
They will do stuff slowly
They ask stupid questions all the fucking time2 -
You will have a first phase when you will do everything on your own.
Then you will have a second phase when you will totally rely on external libraries found on the internet.
Then you will have a phase when you will use libraries only for the stuff you don’t want to bother because, never reinvent the wheel but do not get too much tech debt.
Then the hyper simplification phase when you will refuse modern solutions for good old robust stuff as they used to do back then
Then I don’t know… but I am getting interested in agriculture
Anyway try always to learn new stuff and don’t be afraid of change as it is normal. And learn other skills not related to code, those will keep you alive1 -
Last 10 years of database leaks.
Will next 10 years will be as interesting in security like last decade ?
9 -
Sometime I fear that I will be totaly useless if the era of internet will gone.. Era of computer will fade..
I cant even cook tea..3 -
“I sent a document to print but it hasn't come out... I think the printer might be broken”
NO! The printer is not BROKEN just because you can’t print. You see that person over there at the printer? Yes, that one collecting their print job now? THE PRINTER IS NOT BROKEN! -
!rant
Just discovered Piwik , it's an open source alternative to Google analytics, and it's awesome!4 -
1 am, wide awake,
I want to go code but cannot take,
for time is not my friend,
If I go now, it will not end.
Rest is needed, sleep must be,
or tomorrow I will pay the fee,
concentration will be sparse,
and boss will surely kick my arse.2 -
My mantra while browsing devRant:
I will downvote and walk away. I will not take the bait.
I will downvote and walk away. I will not take the bait.
I will downvote and walk away. I will not take the bait.
I will downvote and walk away. I will not take the bait.
*exhales*2 -
1990 people - There will be flying cars in near future and internet will be a hub for information sharing.
2018- Pornhub Survey
9 -
Me a month ago: "I'm done with full-time corporate work. I'm going to shift to freelance only so I can enjoy my life and not be in a grind, bowing and scraping to a manager all day."
*Recruiter finds me and offers me a full-time opportunity*
Me now: "Well, I guess I can look into it..."
Me 9 months from now: "I'm done with full-time corporate work. I'm going to shift to freelance only so I can enjoy my life and not be in a grind, bowing and scraping to a manager all day."
Repeat until dead.2 -
At school I was excited when our teacher said he will teach us programming with VS.
I was expecting C# to show my skills but the he showed us a big book about Visual Basic with VS Express 2010.
I was literally dying.5 -
Spent 3 hours today digging through 3rd party libraries, trying to get them all to work together nicely.
The solution? A one line fix in my own source.
FACEPALM!!! -
I was just asked to explore Ionic Framework any advise?
Please tell me I will not face hell doing an ionic app :(
I started reading docs and the word Cordova appears to be used a lot, I had a really bad experience with Cordova + PhoneGap, am I in trouble? am I going to regret life?10 -
On a company event. Supposed to do some water skiing.
I'm no fucking Jesus, I can't walk on water! Leave me alone!
Also, I am NOT interested in seeing my teammates in swimsuits. Yikes!3 -
With the U.K now set to leave the EU my emigration plans to Australia just advanced 10 years #willcodeforvisa
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- I need heat shrink tubes
- go to aliexpress, find the one set I need, order
- receive them to my PO, use a few of them
- I needed parking sensors
- to to aliexpress, find the set I need, order
- the parcel arrives in my country, on its way to my PO
- Today I visit a random site
Conclusion: AI is great at knowing what I have already bought and suggesting the exact same items I've ordered. Because if you've ordered them once you're likely to order them again, right?
2 -
Let's all call Linux like so:
"Gnu with Linux added"
Clt will rage, Gnod will be happy, everything will be good -
I have a dream that I will find a group of programmers that enjoy their craft and we are able to bond together and create the coolest shit we want and monetize it. We will inspire programmers to overthrow corporate America. We will all live in a big house and everyone will have their different hobbies and we can learn from each other and work on whatever we want to do each day. We will have unlimited dried mangoes, chocolate chips, and chips n salsa. We will create a kingdom.8
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About to have damn near an entire month lf vacation. If i do something code related it will be with the only language that is kind to my heart and soul: Ruby.
weeeeeee8 -
When someone post a review (3 stars out of 5) where asks to make the app/game free so the developer will get even more downloads, he will give him 5 stars instead of 3, and everyone will be happier...
3 -
Sit down to do a math lab in Maple on university computers. Struggle for a while with shitty software. Click on a help link provided by Maple for an error I was getting.
BSOD outta nowhere.
Hadn't saved my work. And Maple was developed by the best university in Canada. I hope they all catch something rare and incurable and die.4 -
I have to share this. These guys are unbelievable! They claim they will build this console that will run a modded Debian Linux. Ok so far...
But then they say that it will run Windows games...
Wine you may think?!
NOOOO.
They say they will make a 'revolutionary' motherboard, that will RUN WINDOWS GAMES (?!?!?), WITHOUT WINDOWS!!!! And they will do this by putting a fucking FPGA chip on the board!!! That will INTERPRET .EXE FILES (IN HARDWARE LEVEL!!!)
They must be gods to run an .exe file using nothing but (V)HDL without the shared libraries and at hardware level!
FUCK! I'M MAD!!!
Scammers gonna scam!
http://www.project-novatio.com
P.S.: FPGA - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...7 -
Me: *Chilling a little during a stressful day*
*Receive an email, because thankfully I am logged in and checking emails continuously as I am on job hunt*
*Click open*
Recruiter: I am over running a meeting, will join our connect in 10 minutes.
Me: *Trying to recall when did she schedule the call*
*Quickly check and figure that I shared my availability but never got a confirmation or a meeting invite*
Me: Apologies, but I never received any confirmation. I was waiting for your invite.
Recruiter: What? When did you reschedule?
Me: I never did. I never got a confirmation. Anyway, I am free so can hop on a call.
Recruiter: Oh! Sometimes the confirmation goes into the spam box. Here's the link, please join..
I join and she grills me with difficult questions that I am evidently not prepared.
I try to answer and be honest with everything.
But what the actual fuck! She lied to me and grilled me unnecessarily when she knew I wasn't even prepared.
And this is one of top global companies. Definitely not a great experience.
Stop lying and finding a reason to blame me for failing me because you are an incompetent fuck.13 -
This summer, i will have all the time in the world. I will be finally free (as in, alone at home). And, most importantly, i will have a months old kitten to take care of.
I'm so excited.13 -
Programmer OAth. Just read on a github repo
0. I will only undertake honest and moral work. I will stand firm against any requirement that exploits or harms people.
1. I will respect the learnings of those programmers who came before me, and share my learnings with those to come.
2. I will remember that programming is art as well as science, and that warmth, empathy and understanding may outweigh a clever algorithm or technical argument.
3. I will not be ashamed to say "I don't know", and I will ask for help when I am stuck.
4. I will respect the privacy of my users, for their information is not disclosed to me that the world may know.
5. I will tread most carefully in matters of life or death. I will be humble and recognize that I will make mistakes.
6. I will remember that I do not write code for computers, but for people.
7. I will consider the possible consequences of my code and actions. I will respect the difficulties of both social and technical problems.
8. I will be diligent and take pride in my work.
9. I will recognize that I can and will be wrong. I will keep an open mind, and listen to others carefully and with respect.4 -
// This part of the code should never run
Came across that lovely comment when fixing a reported bug. Guess where the bug was? You guessed it XD1 -
Pro Tip #12:
If you boot of HDD buy one of the cheap 240 GB SSD and try yourself. Windows finally boots in less than 5000 min.2 -
In the past: "Alright, have the day off, so can do some serious work (work on my game project). Let me just check my mail first... And a cpl of sub-reddits... And see if there are any updates for Unit3D, or any interesting forum posts, or new assets on asset store that look nice... And check some online newspapers just to see if anything is going on... And check if anything new has been posted on slashdot since I last checked 5 minutes ago (nope)... And maybe see if there's any updates to Sublime Text or new useful packages that can help improve workflow... Ooh came across article on how to improve workflow... Hm someone mentioned a new task-management system in comments, gotta check that out... I'll just sign up for a demo-account and... Hm but what if there are any better ones? Better google for comparisons. Wait, isn't there a new episode of Silicon Valley today? Gotta see that first, no time tmr. Hmm also new episode of Archer, and American Gods. Better get watching these out of the way first, or I can't concentrate... Ah, wait, it's dinner time, no point starting anything until after that."
Now: All of the above, plus "I'll just check devRant real quick before I... hmm... interesting rant... *scrolls and reads rants and comments for 3 hours*"
How am I supposed to get any work done? :_(3 -
when will the next update roll out? (devrant unofficial uwp)
I think the changelog will be an essay.....
@JS964 -
In these GOT times,
managers will suffer,
PRs will not be merged,
Pivotal Tracker/Jira stories will not be attended to.
Stand-up meetings will be ditched.
Winter is here. -
i do not know how i fixed it, but it works so i’m done for the day.
any potential repercussions are a problem for future me3 -
TLDR boss is an idiot.
Boss has an issue. Sends screenshot, and a one sentence explanation, boss-style (not really clear, but the screenshot helps).
I set to solve it, not a minute passes, the boss os calling.
Explains the issue, i tell him I'm working on it, will msg when done. He explains the problem again, and tells me to hurry. I tell him, sure, let's hang up, give me five minutes, so he starts explaining again, that it's IMPORTANT.
Finally hangs up, it didn't take more than 3 minutes to solve it, msg him, it's done. test it, screenshots for the two parts i solved (of the one he wanted corrected and one where a similar case is still as it's supposed to be, not altered).
He calls me, I start telling him this us what I did, the screenshot.... *Interrups*
This is not what he needed, it's important, IMPORTANT i say, and tells the problem again.
I'm pretty annoyed by now, and just calm fuckoff mood comes over. I practically told him to click the link and see for himself....
if you want to take 10 minutes for something i would explain in 2 sentences, is it really that important....6 -
MRW a client wants to redo a feature on a program I'd been working on for an entire month, and expects it done in an week because "it should be easy for you to do"
-
Just put a little cookie in someone elses coffie, it will sink but in the end the drinker will notice...1
-
What the hell did I miss?
I've been seeing lots of dev communities joking/not joking about replacing C++.
Did we somehow replace all C code in literally every embedded product overnight?10 -
Internal system sent me an email with a dead link, saying a certificate is due to expire. Couldn't find the tool, opened IM with help support and was greeted with a passive aggressive note:
"Did you know that the support staff you speak too will use the same website available to you to resolve the issue, have you tried searching here ..."
... well thank you chat bot, did you know I wouldn't be here if said website actually fucking worked?3 -
So, this is 2023, a year with a prime number, Windows updates will be fast, the Linux desktop will have a breakthrough, and AMD will have 25% dGPU market share.5
-
Everyone argues about the perfect date, so I searched and found it using complex machine learning, a lot of trial and error, and too much alcohol:
'#76ab%Y%Y@98:%M%D%h@()%m&%m%Y%D%Y€¥$¢%M%h+%s-%s%%'
Where:
- %Y stands for one number of the last year
- %M stands for one number of the following month
- %D stands for one number (09 are two numbers for example) of SQRT((CURRENT_DAY^7)/3)
- %h stands for one number of the hour next evening(12h system)
- %% stands for either 7 or 3, 7 means that the hour(%h) is a.m., 3 means that the hour is p.m.
- %m stands for the minute the next solar eclipse will happen
- %s stands for one number of the second you will hate yourself to have this system implemented.
How to use it im 3 simple steps:
1. Implement it using ???
2. ?????
3. Profit? -
When I had to choose a service, I chose bitbucket. Now the other two are getting flamed. Seems like I chose right. But in the end who knows what is good and what is bad. Peaches are delicious. Winter is coming. And I definitely don't care.5
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So uh, after a gruelling job search, somehow I managed to bypass junior level and became a lead full stack developer on a meaningful project (not at a startup, either). 🤯1
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I have tried hard to show my ex boss a better way to build web apps. I really tried.
I understand that some people just don't want to lose their investment, and in my opinion classic ASP was bad but not nearly as bad as a lot of people made it out to be. I enjoyed it, was fascinated by the ammount of shit I had to do by hand when using it and the lack of more modern paradigms as the ones found in more mothern languages, but really believed that it microsoft wanted they could have continue to provide updates to the language and ecosystem rather than dropping everything in favor of .net ( which is awesome really)
But his time is ticking and I really liked him as a person, he was kind and willing to adapt to my schedules and pay considerations. I really don't want him to lose clients because his stack does not conform to the new and shiny.
I guess he is scared of me offering to rewrite portions in newer tech since he does not want me to leave and leave him without a developer that knows that stuff. So i have offered myself a position along him as a partner, not a worker, since that way it will be my product investment and I will not leave it just like that.
Dude is really wealthy so he can afford it and he knows I will not do him any wrong.
I nust wish he would reconsider promptly since it would suck to have me as competition.2 -
Convo with me an my friend today (i purposefully left out my opinions and reactions):
Friend: i want to learn c#
Me: sounds good, but I'd go java if i were you
F: yeah but i want to do unity
M: sounds good, but I'd go with unreal engine if I were you
F: what language is unreal engine?
M: C++, but if you want to make apps, go with unity
F: yeah I want to make an android app
M: sounds good, but I'd try out renderscript if I were you
F: yeah I've used that before
M: oh really? What does it do?
F: I don't know
M: its for gpgpu because android game devs needed better performance
F: yeah I've used that
M: what does gpgpu stand for?
F: umm… i know what gpu stands for
M: okay dude, you didn't use it
F: yes I did, I made a cypher
M: dude, you didn't use it
F: yes I did!
M: what does gpgpu stand for?
F: *left*
*five minutes later*
M: *checks phone*
M: *sees text from friend*
Text from friend: dude it was general purpose gpu1 -
C++ NAN.
I WILL FIND YOUR SOURCE.
AND I WILL KILL YOU, DESTROY YOU.
I WILL DIE TRYING.
YOU DISGUST ME.
I HATE YOU.10 -
How the Common Lisp Community will eventually die soon:
Clojure is the only main Lisp dialect having some sort of heavy presence in today's modern development world. Yes, I am aware of other(if not all) environments in which Lisp or a dialect of it is being used for multiple things, CADLisp, Guile Scheme, Racket, etc etc whatever. I know.
Not only is Clojure present in the JVM(I give 0 fucks about whether you like it or not also) but also has compilation targets for Javascript via Clojurescript. This means that i can effectively target backend server operations, damn near everything inside of the JVM and also the browser.
Yet, there is no real point in using Lisp or Clojure other than for pure academic endeavours, for which it is not even a pure functional programming language, you would be better served learning something else if you want true functional purity. But also because examples for one of the major areas in software development, mainly web, are really lacking, like, lacking bad, as in, so bad most examples are few in between and there is no interest in making it target complete beginners or anything of the like.
But my biggest fucking gripe with Lisp as a whole, specifically Common Lisp, is how monstrously outdated the documentation you can find available for it is.
Say for example, aesthetics, these play a large role, a developer(web mostly) used to the attention to detail placed by the Rails community, the Laravel community, django, etc etc would find on documentation that came straight from the 90s. There is no passion for design, no attention to detail, it makes it look hacky and abandoned. Everything in Lisp looks so severely abandoned for which the most abundant pool of resources are not even made present on a fully general purpose language constrained as a scripting environment for a text editor: Emacs with Emacs Lisp which I reckon is about the most used Lisp dialect in the planet, even more so than Clojure or Common Lisp.
I just want the language to be made popular again y'know? To have a killer app or framework for it much like there is Rails for Ruby, Phoenix for Elixir, etc etc. But unless I get some serious hacking done to bring about the level of maturity of those frameworks(which I won't nor I believe I can) then it will always remain a niche language with funny syntax.
To be honest I am phasing away my use of Clojure in place of Pharo. I just hate seeing how much the Lisp community does in an effort to keep shit as obscure and far away from the reach of new developers as possible. I also DESPISE reading other Lisp developer's code. Far too fucking dense and clever for anyone other than the original developer to read and add to. The idea that Lisp allows for read only code is far too real man.
Lisp has been DED for a while, and the zombies that remain will soon disappear because the community was too busy playing circle jerks for anything real to be done with it. Even as the original language of AI it has been severely outshined by the likes of Python, R and Scala, shit, even Javascript has more presence in AI than Lisp does now a days.9 -
In 2018...
Maybe someone will like me.
Maybe the next person I take a liking to will be single, uncomplicated, and available.
Maybe asshats will disappear from my life.
Well, one can dream, can't I?2 -
This rant is your playground for devrant-related chatgpt bot queries. You will still be judged for posting your queries here, but slightly less than in other rants.238
-
Public Service Announcement;
Test your shit!
That will be all!
Source: https://dev.to/stealthmusic/...
1 -
Asshole that my client hired: "You will be reporting to me now. As per client request."
Me: "I will murder you." -
I have a project idea:
Web app that will automatically generate random like-a-facebook project ideas that will handle the buisness side and automatically post that offer on multiple forums, linkedin and send email with it. All using AI, Nural Networks, Big Data and VR.
Seriously, once fucking more some african or indian guy messages me to work for his awesome "its like a facebook but different" idea where he needs "just backend, frontend and mobile apps" and that he will just "handle the rest" and that "have no money now but after I sign a NDA he will give me some shares", I am gonna find him and shit on his head. Monday did not even ended yet and I already read 9 "offers" like this on my mail and facebook, only one guy white, rest indians or africans.
Why are then people suprised that we consider black and indian devs as a fucking joke 90% of the time. I have a indian dev friend and he could not find a dev job for 2 months, because everyone would rather work with less skilled asian / white guy than indian / black guy. This is not about racism, but about those retards that are acting like idiots. Hope I did not offend anyone (unless you do shit like this, then, please just smash your keyboard over your head).
Words like AI and neural networks are used just to lure the investors to our gofundme campain and steal their money after 2 years of silence.1 -
Wonder how long time it will take until haveibeenpwned.com will be listed on it's on list of data breaches....
-
I've been staring at the same section of code for about two hours now. I want to solve this puzzle and design it properly. I'm desperately trying to resist the urge to hack it. Not sure I can hold out much longer...3
-
Oh how I miss straight forward programming. I've been working on performance enhancements for a month. Optimizing angular is no fun.
-
The biggest pro of GDPR for me will be when some fucking agency will ever call me again, I will ask them right away to delete my phone number and everything.
-
Sometime in the future someone will develop an AI that will study all of these rants and improve everything developers rant about.2
-
- Your windows license will expire soon
- Yeah sure, thanks buddy I will renew it.
- Your windows license will expire soon
- Yeah yeah I know it thanks.
- Your windows license will expire soon
- Yes, stop please.
- Your windows license will expire soon
- Your windows license will expire soon
- Your windows license will expire soon4 -
I think another intriguing job asides programming is engineering (*for some*). A week has past and I've been on the hike assisting my beloved brother on his contracted engineering job while I am less occupied. The job is based on 🗼Tower analysis and It's quite risky as you'd have to climb up to 56 meters high just to take readings of antennas, and fix some other stuffs. The only thing I find intriguing about this job is his love for it, funny enough he also thinks I love the job too and I guess I'm guilty for his thoughts (*Sorry bro, I love the job for you not me*).
With my little experience so far on my *new brotherly job* I noticed the most hectic task isn't going up and down the tower taking readings but at the end of all operations, he'll have to gather the values and snapshots he took while on the tower to prepare reports on msword & excel for the other buttwags at the office (or home I guess)
then archive and sends via mail. Seeing this lengthy process I was forced to ask why he wasn't using any reporting tool like Jotforms or any other equivalent and I was willing to look up some recommendations for him, his reply was: "I'm already used to this form of reporting, its what I was trained with and what the company provided, nevertheless a friend of mine suggested something of such weeks back but I would have to pay monthly fee for its usage which is quite on the high side and I don't think I'd prefer that."
Sounds convincing but not enough, okay here is another deal: You use an android phone right? and at my office we work on system automation (*basically does not know what I do for a living probably thinks I'm a hacker the illegal one*), how about i design you an android app for you to capture the tower data and a PC software for you to auto generate the msword & excel reports, I can get this ready for you in less than 5 nights (*I've got less task on my desk, and was willing to take the timeout to prepare the solution that he needed, all I needed to hear for a kick start was an "Okay" just to be sure he wants it*) I suggested and re-assured but up to this point he still declined my offer and is willing to stick with his current reporting pattern (*Me died*).1 -
devRant bot will be going down shortly while it is moved to Beep Boop.
After this transition, you will be required to reauthorize the bot with your Slack team.
You will be able to do this here: https://beepboophq.com/bots/... -
Good to see people are learning and don't use hard coded credentials and store them in the DB.
Now they just have to quit putting them into migration files -
When your project leader wants to work 100% scrum and the steering committee, up front, wants to know exactly what will be delivered, what it will cost and when it will be ready..3
-
Just recently got a new job.
On the old jobs we've always held connection via mail, slack, fb messenger groups and whatever.
But on this new IT job they have this really weird theory of that when you want something, you've to stand up, walk to the coworkers booth, and use this super odd "voice" communication.
Such a barbaric routine!2 -
The problem: callback hell. Code would be indented by three hundred fucking spaces just to do some async work. Your code would end with thirty lines of closing curly brackets
Solution: async and await.
The problem, reborn: NoSQL. Code is indented by three hundred fucking spaces just to run a query. Your query ends with thirty lines of closing curly brackets.4 -
I would like to switch to english keyboard layout (currently german).
Do you have any tips for not raging the first months, because of all the miss-typing?
Especially with german hardware keyboard, so I can't even cheat.2 -
Log 1:
Day 10 of crunch time. I have entered a sleepless zen state. Lord willing, I will be able to get 7 hours of sleep Saturday night. The building is terrifying at night, as there are a lot of noises. Security guards are nice, but curious to see me all alone. Must not show weakness in case they think numbers will give them an advantage over me.
Supplies are low. Only one type of energy drink left in the machine, and coffee gone for the night. My phone is out of fast data so Pandora is spotty at best. I have battery to get me through the night at least.
Tomorrow and Saturday decide the fate of the project. My team lead has not slept in at least 2 days. I feel guilty napping when I do, but she is driven like Ahab so I will let her obsession carry her.
If I am alive tomorrow I will report in.1 -
I think karma is doing me a favor today 😍
So I started to work fir my current company early January 2017, on a project I'm still currently working on (well, now discussions are made around the next sprint, so I'm working on something else but you get the spirit)
We had the most PAIN-IN-THE-ASS-ish client I ever met. Dude gives schemas of what a page should look like (no real visual model but well things were pretty clear so there weren't big problems around).
The client was the kind of dude that could send these models, let us work on them then opening a fuck-ton of tickets, ranting about how the elements' display isn't good. Then we have to make remember him that he gave us nothing else, and he agreed on the functional specifications. And this for two WHOLE fucking years
Today, the project director came by our office and casually sat down next to me to tell me that the dude have been fired by his company for being a huge douchebag, blocking communication between us and simply being useless.
The sun is shining again 😍😍 -
I like fridays because I convince myself that this is the weekend I will do some hardcore programming. Instead it is usually the weekend I spend more time finding a new series to watch than actually coding.
Should probably docker-compose down and stop kidding myself since constantly thinking you will do some work next takes away from actually relaxing and you end up worse off.6 -
Picking up girls
Me: We will be like C and Assembler.
Girl: Why?!
Me: Cuz I will decompile into you... ;)
9 -
Heads up, fellow tech nerds: if you're an Amazon Prime member and have ever wanted a Raspberry Pi, there's a good deal on a starter kit, 20% off for Prime Day! Search for "CanaKit Raspberry Pi 3 Complete Starter Kit".
I've always wanted to build a project with a Pi, and now mine's coming Friday! Build project suggestions?6 -
So the De-Cix Frankfurt operater sued the german secret service (BND) for taping into the traffic.
They are apparently trying to exclude Traffic from german citizens by filtering for .de domains... Because id never browse any fucking other websites! And not every german website uses .de domains.
The Government justifies this by saying ""If the calculated reference value (Amount of data collected) is increased only strongly enough, the BND (...) can monitor 100 percent of the traffic it really wants (" full take ")."
("Wenn die rechnerische Bezugsgröße nur stark genug erhöht wird, kann der BND (...) den von ihm wirklich gewünschten Verkehr zu 100 Prozent überwachen ("Full Take").")
When will they fucking learn, that mass surveillance is a fucking bad idea?
Article (German): http://sueddeutsche.de/digital/...2 -
Fuck it’s Friday I am playing poker if I loose I will not work and if I will certainly I will party...1
-
"I'll buy the new iPhone because of its RAM"
"What amazes me of my new iPhone is its wonderful processor"
"I bought my iPhone because it let me free to do whatever I want"
- nobody, never
Seriously, have you ever seen someone saying that? Why the hell we nerd post things about how much is technically poorer an iPhone if compared with other phones when actually nobody cares about this? Come on, I'd never buy an iPhone as well, but I don't think this is the best way to change the other people' mind, I'm pretty sure that will increase the popularity instead.6 -
That moment when project managers all demand a share of your weekly hours, failing to accept that productivity diminishes exponentially with the number of projects you have to switch between.
-
If you're expecting something revolutionary on a dev fest conference but instead you're given the fricking same template exercise.
-
!dev
I need to stop buying things...
I just bought a Keurig and some coffee because it was on sale for Cyber Monday...
And well I've been buying other discretionary things like crazy for the last few months... including lots of cakes and chocolates...
Which prolly adds up to over $500 in 3 months...
Damn should've gotten a new credit card... All that spending would've gotten me $150 back... -
What do you think?
How will the work of the future look like?
what will be better?
What will be worse?
How would you like to work?1 -
Microservices
Lets take an example: Products service & orders service.
When I want to save an order for a user, data saved as
1. UserId, ProductId, Quantity, Date
Or
2. UserId, Name, Email, ProductId, ProductName, Quantity, Date
I'm a bit confused here because if I'm going to fetch that purchase, in example 1, it will return IDs requiring another trip to server to get user & product info
In example two it takes only one trip BUT if any changes is made to either user info or product info it means I'm returning wrong info to the user.
What do we do in this scenario? Excuse my questions first time applying Microservices and been using monolith all my life6 -
You crazies do whatever you have to do with your little "plan"... but if you mother fuckers take down my internet I will come out of this fucking basement with the rage of fucking Loki and it won't fucking matter to me what side you thought you were on.1
-
attempting to write 3 broker integrations for my fintech product today: TD Ameritrade, Tradier, and TradeStation...
starting with just the most basic possible: live bid / ask price, then will go from there...
will report back
will likely fail
🤡8 -
Boltt coin is a total bullshit, never use this app, a total data stealer. They will say they will reward you, but when you are going to claim it, there OTP will not work. Total data selling fraud.1
-
new Promise(function (resolve, reject) {
self.getPaid(function (err, money) {
if(err) {
reject(err);
console.log("fml");
} else {
resolve(money);
console.log("fuck yeah!") ;
});
})
.then(resolve)
.catch(reject); -
Okay this is going to become an issue
With the speed at which we are developing software, there will be a time when there is no more coding left to be done and we will all be there doing tech support for everyone and will be so boring
Or, someone will develop an artificial conscience capable of developing software and all of us will be there sitting like we just got fired7 -
Basic requirement of every Data Science college internship:
1) 2-3 years of experience... God damn it
2) Research and publications...(yeah right! in 2 years of college in which you taught me how to "work with" C on Turbo-C... I should have god damn publications... Well worked my ass on and have 2, but guess what campus internships says.. " no fucks given man", solve those damn segment tree question first then we will talk)
Its an infinite recursive while loop
FML -
!rant but tips
TL;DR consistent commitments form a habit.
I didn't write any code or do any major tasks past 5 days. Rest at home 2 days and went to short trip for remaining. Answered a few business calls. Made few important calls. Didn't bring my laptop with me and used my gf's one for less than 2 hours. (Majority of that 2 hours was spent on changing her W10 Japanese display language into English.)
This morning I found it hard to gain the productivity and concentration I had past few months. I thought I have lost it and got back to my old lazy 🐒 self.
Couldn't able to touch, well didn't have the mood to touch to be precise, my major tasks. I did my best to sit at my desk and finish minor small tasks that I can find the whole morning. That's the best I could do and probably the wise one I did.
After lunch time around 2pm, I gained my concentration back. I worked on my major tasks till 7pm. And now going home happy.
So my "productivity-is-a-lot-like-intercourse" analogy belief became stronger. As long as I commit to my desk and keep my work routine, I won't be losing my concentration and productivity for a long period. -
AppStore says "We're working hard on getting all the 🐛s squashed so please bear with us."
I says "WHAT 🐛s?!" devRant is the 💣1 -
I HATE CLIENTS, THE WORKS WILL NOT END IF THERE WILL BE A 246PX SPACE FOR 10 MINUTE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
-
#define AUDIOLB_EXIT_ON_ERROR(hres) \
if (FAILED(hres)) { goto Exit; }
#define AUDIOLB_SAFE_RELEASE(punk) \
if ((punk) != NULL) \
{ (punk)->Release(); (punk) = NULL; }
Looking through old audio code I wrote. Found these macros. Will most likely reuse for a new project. It works damnit!
Do you feel lucky?!7 -
1. Languages will evolve to make as short as possible in terms of lines of code. Shorter syntaxes all the way.
2. Each platform/part of architecture will have only 1-2 languages to code in. There will be convergence of languages. This is more to do with industry usage. Underground new languages will still continue to flourish.
3. Focus will be more on natural language. Both as research item for understanding humann languages better and possible movement of coding languages in the direction of natural languages. Natural syntax as much as possible.
4. Softwares will be self learning. Every interaction will result in the software to evolve as per your usage. That would mean the same software will behave differently for every user. This will be basis user's interaction.
5. Less physical interaction. More to do with what the user thinks. Intuitive.1 -
Just a strong feel and will to pursue it! As the time passed by it became stronger.
Even in the challenges, when you find fun and happiness and satisfaction of after achieving it... that's what proves constantly.. as if....
-
Yesterday I tried to install virtualbox to be able to run gitlab-runner with a Docker executor locally. I completely fucked up. After a reboot, I'm not able to run GDM/gnome/cinnamon(segfault), so I have to run Xorg as root without any window manager, and it sucks. I have to work all day with this shitty config.
Fuck myself, Fuck Arch, I'm switching to manjaro7 -
I'm just a developer. So why the heck do I have to spend whole days talking to potential bussiness partners, discussing possible deals, preparing plan for next year and organizing various coworkers (including some managers) to fulfil the other deal that I haven't helped to negotiate. If I wanted to track so many things, speak to so many people and not write a single line of code whole days, I would have became manager and would ask for different salary!2
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A third day of misery. Will the light shine again or will our protagonist plunge into abyss of despair?
You will find that in the next episode of "The Meh-man"2 -
sometimes i wonder how many programmers will lose their shit when drag and drop programming will become really popular.10
-
On a business trip. I brought my work laptop and my personal laptop with me. Because I am smart. But a lot of my coworkers only bring their work laptops. So I guess I am basically wondering how much porn has tainted the work laptops. Especially since they will auction them off around once a year. To be clear I am not wondering about the software taint.2
-
Remember this post of mine: https://devrant.com/rants/4537512/...
Now this happens. LMFAO
https://linkedin.com/posts/...
If you have time, go through the entire series posted by Mona.8 -
!rant
Getting a chair with a straight back and lumbar cushion makes it sooo comfortable to sit, it's amazing.
I just got a DXRacer chair and my back feels it's hugged and supported from every side possible. And doesn't hurt anymore.
Do yourself a favor and get one.1 -
What will the world do without the Internet has morphed into, What will the world do without Stack Overflow?
-
I will use whatever gets the most hate, religiously. You all hate Apple? I will use Apple everything. You hate JavaScript? I will write everything in JavaScript. You hate Safari? I will use Safari as my main browser.
As long as I'm the unique antithesis to your mediocre thesis, we get healthy synthesis, and the world remains balanced.9 -
In the factory of the future, there will be only robots, but also one man and one dog.
The man will feed the dog, and the dog will keep the man away from robots.12 -
Microsoft bought GitHub.
2 Ways it will go:
0. They will welcome it
They will make it bigger
And then kill it
1. They will welcome it
They will keep it running
It will be as good as before2 -
Index, currIndex and i are all -1.
The real index is a postfix on a string in another class passed through several layers of reflection and delegates.
Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow will be better. Tommorow will be better.... -
A year ago: we will build an awesome platform! You will see!
Today: we have 2 javascript and 1 java frameworks. -
Time to scare the shyat out of some muggles by VIMing some LaTeX. Make'em think I'm hacking the train. Mwahahaha
-
Who the twattrumpet invented friday deploy was a good idea? What not who the horsedesecrating dickbadger tought I will have overdue work because this disgraceful human rudiment who has embryonic fluid inside his puffball head instead of brain thinks it is okay tell me sorry man but I forgot to tell you about the bugs you requested for last week. You know what? I will do it but if you dare to disturb me on weekend becausebyou didn't test whenbI told you I will stick your carcass up your ass!!!
-
My 7 years old computer broke down :(
Finally I have a good reason for buying a new computer. It will have twice as much RAM, SSD drive will be more than 4 times the size of the old one, processor will be 5 generations newer and the graphic card will have 3 times more video memory.
17 -
Working with passed on spaghetti code.
Glaring at author's name.
Wherever you are.. I will find you.
And I will kill you. -
Guys, I need a mood bump :/ Christmas is almost here and it's raining as hell outside..
Does anyone have a snowy view whereever you are? Could you share those views? Thank you!7 -
The A.I. will still be decades away from being able to communicate with users. I will translate user's requirements to the A.I.
-
Will we code on quantum computers in rhe future? What language will work? Will there be new language for just them?4
-
Look, I don't know who are you? and what you want?
If you let me fix this problem then I will not look for you and I will not pursue you.
But if you don't
I will look for you,
I will find you and I will kill you..!!
-
There will come a day when a Tesla car will be so intelligent that it will short the Tesla stock right before crushing into a truck.
3 -
Gotta love when you come across an interesting piece of software with a modern, sleek, and snazzy homepage. Then you press "Sign up" and are redirected to an ancient 90's web app whose first element after the body is a table.
-
Things People Learning to Code will Understand
Part-1: https://medium.freecodecamp.com/thi...
Part-2: https://medium.freecodecamp.com/thi... -
As a big company CTO will you hire developers from Africa. And how much will you recommend as starting salary .2
-
Any suggestions for a good enough laptop to learn Android/iOS development in?
I tried with my brother's fairly newer laptop and it was slooooooooooow. *cries inside while watching cursor goes from one point to another*5 -
I can promise you all this... Artificial Intelligence’ silicone valley... will not be in California, the industry will be in west Michigan... instead of the and valleys beaches of California it will be the hills and lake shores of Lake Michigan... true artificial intelligence of the movies will be “born” there. The liberal developers and hipster coders can stay out in California.. while the rest of us will be over her in Michigan. I promise you this will happen, give it 10 years8
-
I think I'll clearn and update my Server this weekend (since it's still on Debian 8).Wish me luck or dig my grave.
P.s.: Tips/suggestions/experiences are also very appreciated3 -
1. I want to know how many JS frameworks will the world have
2. Will I stop drinking alcohol one day?
3. Will programmers create robots to conquer a new world?1 -
At the club, only one sitting... will spectate and bring intel when possible... think I'm spotted will report asap
-
I'm doing it !
I WILL run current PROD projects in a preview 1. (Well, at least I will try).
Wish me luck !
8 -
Getting started with my dissertation project for my degree. Using Java and Dropwizard for a backend service with a nice iOS client in Swift. Will make such a refreshing change from hacking crappy eForms together with jQuery and an Objective-C native bridge.1
-
“Sticks and stones will break bones, but the gat will kill you quicker, especially when I’m drunk off that liquor”
- Biggie smalls1 -
The one meeting that will come next...
That will be by definition the worst and the best...
Because it will be the first one. -
Monday my last exam (maths)...
Will be happy if it’s finished. Will be able to continue developing apps.2 -
Need help
Tomorrow at 10am i have my 1st interview
I got told that i will do a logic test... some analytic view
What question will you think it will be?
I am curious asf -
The software eng. pendulum will swing away from scrum/agile nonsense after years of those things contributing mostly inferior half baked beta software to customers. Unfortunately, it will swing too far the other way but will somehow also manage to claim roots in the musings of Demming and Japanese auto manufacturing when Leave it to Beaver was still a hot TV hit. In other words, the org charts will have different titles, and different buzz words will be used, but developers will still have archetypal pointy haired bosses.
-
When Pokemon Go is released in India, will the tag line be, "karney hai haasil".
Indian Devs will get this! -
I will start learning Django framework next week. I know elementary python. Any advice on path I should take will be helpful.1
-
Okay so I calming down now. All is well. Great now I have iphostor syndrome! What will come tomorrow?! I can't wait... 26s till I can rant. now
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