Git Blame before git was invented:

I’ve come to terms that my company is blasphemisizing what software engineering has taught me to be right and true. Fuck unittesting, fuck VcS, let’s go rawdogging the changes to prod like the real men did back when the times were great hell yea

You know just what I love my evening novel to be? Documentation of software, written by someone who clearly doesn’t understand what the fuck this is all on about. Literally created a cyclic paragraph (end of paragraph -> see also paragraph b : end of paragraph b -> see paragraph a) without having explained the concept at all.

Why just whyyy

The PM decides to know everything, until I ask them something. „oh this is too technical for me, go somewhere else for the answer“.

Excuse me? You know what they need but do you know why they need JUST LIKE THAT??!? Every project starts to feel like a fucking scam

My work with ArangoDB has taught me a very important lesson, which is that the dog says гав гав

In the future, everything will run in the browser, and you will be happy

Let’s hear the opinion of the public consensus. In a big system with many different things doing their own thing, should you expect the part which is responsible for logging / information purposes to book account payables in the ERP? Like, am I an idiot or should I start learning Chinese? Do I understand “send email” wrong?

Anyone else getting a small confidence boost on your progression when you circle back to the documentation for something and whatever you're doing with the software is under the "Advanced" or "More Complex Use-Cases" tab? Like I can now answer questions on the basic shit I guess...

Boss asks why I’m taking so long.

I answer with because everyone is asking about this every 10 minutes and my colleagues can’t help because theyre overloaded themselves. I can’t concentrate but I’m finished almost anyway.

Boss asks to take a look. He says this is not right.

Boss takes his spin on it all. Code is now doing what it wants.

Boss asks why im taking so long.

Freemium „FOSS“ nowadays:
Release notes of major version!
Major changes: one thing
Minor changes: 3 things

Thanks to @X for contributing major change
Thanks to @y @z @aa for the three minor things.
Here’s a wet handshake.

Now click this button to see which features we‘re taking away from you for not paying us you fucking beggar!

Say what you want about Angular, but this framework made me like Typescript.

Made a website and 4K final for university in 10 days with Angular, FastAPI, ArangoDB and docker. No prior experience with Typescript whatsoever. Sessions, User Management, data manipulation and a d3-force graph which doesn’t dance around like a fucking clown. I feel like a fucking god right now

Remember everyone. 5 hours of ChatGPT will always save you 5 minutes of stackoverflow

Im on vacation and my boss is terrorising my phone number. Having answered after the 5 th call he claims I’m not on vacation until i sent out a handover to all my colleagues. Fuck this shit I’m so done with them

I finally figured out how fucking JWT authentication works. It felt like I was standing all my life and I just sat down

Some people referencing each other makes it seem like this platform is a small circle. Do you guys meet in real life too?

I can’t get enough of loading up my brain with some good lines of pure knowledge. Reading math professors works on graph theory gives me the kick to survive the frustration of being amidst a mass of golems, bashing their heads with ad hominem while being completely oblivious of the fact they’re stuck in the 70s in terms of technological standards.

- C-Suite: What the fuck this is not at all what I needed!! My whole company is on collision course with a liquidity crisis. You fucking idiot what did you do I’m so stressed oh noo
- This twat: I don’t ask questions to not stress you out

Where do I find out if my work laptops hardware is compatible with Linux?
Edit: without installing Linux and seeing what happens

This can't go on any longer. Microsoft needs to disband. This company is the incarnaction of the demon-guys who make this diarrhea enrgyy drink in Devil May Cry. Wher's Dante when you need him?

WEll, I never know the automatons took it from me, but thanks for raising awareness! 👍

What the fuck is Medium anyway? And what makes them have the audacity to paywall everything? Their site looks like an out-of-the box Wordpress template anyway...

Last weekend I visited my aunt for her birthday. Someone reminded me of the passion for chess one of my smaller cousins had

(they grow so fast, I finally understood all those remarks from the grandmas back then 🥲)

and asked if he wanted to play a few rounds. Sure damn he wanted to, because he whipped out that chessboard like a gunslinger I tell you

I wonder why everyone looked at me in such pity, and I found out why soon enough: turns out in all the years, he’s competing in country championships and now has an ELO of around 1600. Every match felt like being a fly in a venus trap. I was losing and I didn’t even know why. The grip became tighter while I was burning my neurons on some sugar. That was very uncomfortable. At least, reading from his face, he had fun, and I learnt some Turkish Kebap Defense variant lol

Every time windows blocks you with a small window, Gates cums a little. Seriously this OS is not making you any more productive

If I told people what’s going on at my job right now, they would tell me to stop using them to validate my standup script.

Why does programming with JavaScript feel like infecting yourself with and the machine with AIDS? Use a script from some random cdn here, download 46578 npm packages with triple the critical vulnerabilities there.
It feels so disgusting

I accidentally typed ls -la folder/* and I think I came

Give me the good the bad and the ugly about graphql. I’m on the fence if I should learn that

I can’t take this shit anymore. I’m constantly cleaning up the diarrhoea behind other incompetent nutjobs, while these very same people treat me like I have no clue about programming because I won’t introduce their unmanaged dependencies which they call snippets into the clients code base. Whoever transitioned from “int - int” to freelance / self employed please give me some tips

Hey government, here should be your next standardisation target:

Electric shavers. Every brand has its own wall-e shaped plug, it’s ridiculous.