Client: I love the site and will sign your contract today. I'll even give you a bonus since you got it done early. Can you put it up there this evening?

Me: I'm so glad that you liked it. I'll bring a condom with me all filled out and ready to go so we can push it up there.

Me: Contract. Damned phone

Client: please leave the condom at home

What's your worst autocorrect with a client?

Just signed a contract for a new room!

This means I'll be going from 500kbs to a general 30-50mbs 😍

Dear Client.

Please don't whine why your site is down, you haven't paid us in like 3 months, and its on the contract that you signed, we only have limited patience.

sincerely yours,
developer

Lawyer: "I heard you do websi..."

Me: "No."

Never, ever again will I do a website for anyone in the law profession. You can write the most airtight and amazing contract ever devised and they will find a way over, under, around, and through it to SCREW YOU UP THE ASS.

My friend silently quited his job. He simply stopped coming to work and that is OK, because his contract expired last Monday. He worked for very bad company, where everyone was braging about how awesome dev they are and know everything better than him. Since company forgot to talk with him about contract renewal or to find a replacement, they are now in big troubles because braggers broke production and none know how to fix it :)

Writing code for a startup without signing a contract first...

This is how I feel most of my client proposal start:

* It's simple, I'd like to re-invent <the wheel>.

* All I want to do is use <rocketship engine> on <old typewriter>.

* I'm too cheap to hire a full-time < DBA, DevOps engineer, development team>. Can I pay you pennies?

* I'm poor and broke, can you do this for free?

* I'd like to <commit illegal act> and be <legal compliant standard>.

* I heard it was possible to <fly 30 people to the moon> using <Ford Model-T>. Please do this for us.

* I <sold my house>, but now <I'm locked out by the new owners>. Please help.

Welcome everyone.
Today I signed my first contract!!!
Front end
Part time
I'm 30.
This is still a start

A conversation with our network/system admin.

Me : Can I install linux on my computer, windows is slow and terrible.

Him : No, if you use anything but Windows in this company, you will be fired for bypassing our security protocols. Its written in your contract.

Me : *boots up my Macbook*

"Never undervalue yourself or let anyone else undervalue you."

"Learn to say no."

Same person during my first contract, where I was working insane hours for very little pay.

Never. Work. Without. Contract. Fuck this one guy for not paying me after 4 weeks of work!

When doing a coding project for lawyers, hire a lawyer. That is all.

First job.

CLIENT: It's just a small website, 15-20 pages 2,500$, what do you say?

ME: Sure, sounds easy.

CLIENT: oh, and I need you to sign this contract that you won't copy or competete with me for the next two years.

ME: Sounds reasonable.

-- A year later --
I had finished building a huge CMS system that serves 420+ organizations, the entire thing copied from his competitor.

CLIENT: So there is only about two weeks left of work...

ME: Goodbye, I have a new job that actually pays money.

CLIENT: Don't forget our contract...

ME: Sure..

At least he paid me, but 2,500$ for a whole year's work isn't such a good deal anymore.

I usually don’t use caps so I apologize but.... HOLY FUCKING SHIT! MY PERSONAL BUSINESS THAT I BUILT WITH My HANDS HAS JUST SIGNED A ****HUGE**** contract!! More to come!

My boss just told me that he wants me to stay and is giving me a permanent position :D my contract would have ended by the end of this month otherwise! :D

My LinkedIn profile bio:

... however I’m not interested in hybrid mobile or contract work.

My LinkedIn “notes to recruiters”:

... I’m not interested in hybrid mobile or contract work.

My preferences:

- ticked full time permanent
- listed native technologies in the tag selector.

Email this morning:

Hi are you interested in the below role:

Role: Hybrid mobile developer
Salary: xxxxx
Type: 6 - 12 month contract.

No I am not you fucking fucktard. Read my fucking profile or go fuck yourself with a fucking cactus!

Last september:
I get an email from a customer who want to end the contract. I inform him that the contract runs to the end of March and it will be terminated the last of march.

Customer agrees and I do not hear a word from him. Until now when I closed down all his services.

Angry email:
Why did you close the server and email? are you **** stupid!?

I reply:
21/9 2016, you wanted to terminate all services you had with us. That means that your domains, DNS-services, VPS, email and Office 365 was going to be closed today.

Why is this not uncommon?!

I didn’t. I went for an interview and quizzed this multi-million £ business about their architecture: it sounded awful.
I made some diagrams on how I would’ve done it, how it would scale etc and why. They were blown away and wanted me to implement this structure including the job they wanted to hire me for.
They sent a contract over: had the wrong name on it
They corrected the name but I noticed the salary was incorrect
They sent a third and by this time I was offered an interview elsewhere so I went

The hirer then called me to say he was frustrated I hadn’t signed a contract yet making it sound like it was my fault for not wanting to sign an illegitimate contract. he then went on to say that the salary had been reduced, I asked why and they said they felt I wasn’t a senior developer.
So I took the other job and they kept their shitty architecture 💁🏼‍♀️

I designed a logo for a family member's business with the expectation that I would receive payment once the work was completed. I wasn't expecting a lot, I only really do freelance work for software but I know my way around Illustrator. I'm not one to charge family anywhere near full price and I felt no contract was needed. We were back and fourth for a little bit, getting the logo to his liking. Silly me during all of this didn't watermark any of the images I was sending (didn't think I'd have to, you know... Family) and a little while later he's gone and ordered shirts with the logo on it without paying or even contacting me. When I confronted him about it, he pulls out the whole "No contract was made" bullshit. It's ridiculous how arrogant people can be, I was asking for $50. I put a good 15 hours into it with all the alterations he wanted. 15 hours I could have spent on actual clients.

TLDR; Designed a logo for a family member without a contract, he decided not to pay.

My mobile phone provider called me and offered me a new contract containing more data volume.
Customer service: 'Your current contract has only 1.5GB data volume. That's not much. With this you can only send 1 or 2 pictures and that's it.'
Me: 'What kind of pictures do you use / send? 😨'

Just signed a job contract 😁

!Rant

Last Thursday: solicitation
Friday: got a call that I'm hired
Tuesday: signed contract

I did it, I just got my first job!

Well got a phone call today and long story short is I have been given a probationary 5 week contract for my dream job, gonna be honest, kinda excited! :-D

Yeees! Got my contract for the time after my apprenticeship. 4 days/week and a shitload of 💰, from my point of view. 36k € per year.

Additionally I got the position I wanted, I'm responsible for the whole infrastructure and the conversion of our app from Winforms to WPF.

I'M HAPPY AS F*** xD

Just last month we finished a big project for a client. The company had their lawyers make a contract to transfer ownership for the website to them.

One of the requirements was to deliver all code in a word file. And just that. In the whole contract was not a word about transfering the production environment to their servers. Or supplying a working version. The files and database. No just the word file.

As of today still wondering what they where planning to do with a word file with hunderds of pages of code.

Offcourse we deliverd a working version to their servers. But why are there people making decisions about things they understand nothing at all.

!rant

I just signed a new job contract, good offer, hope they care more about the code produced

Oh boy, my fellow devRanters, I just signed an 4 digit monthly salary (that's a lot in Lithuania) job contract, I'm a future Unix infrastructure engineer :o

As per original concept of ranting, it's been almost two months since I wrote for the stickers and didn't get a reply >:(

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE!

Just when I thought today was my last day at this job they tell me contract has been extended by another 5 weeks... Fuck yes! :-D

HO. LY. SHIT.

So this gig I got myself into, they have a whitelist of IP addresses that are allowed to access their web server. It's work-at-home. We just got a new internet provider, and it looks like I get a different public IP address everytime I disconnect and connect to the WIFI. And since it looks like the way they work on their codebase is that you either edit the files right on the server or you download the files that you need to work on, make the changes, and then re-upload the file back to the server and refresh the website to see the changes, now I can't access the server because I get different IP addresses. And it's highly inconvenient to keep emailing them to add IP addresses to the whitelist.

No source control, just straight-up download/upload from/to the server. Like, srsly. So that also means debugging is extremely hard for me because one, they use ColdFusion and I've never used that shit before and two, how the hell do you debug with this style of work?

I just started this last Tuesday, and I already want to call it quits. This is just a pain in the ass and not worth my time. I'll be glad to just go back to driving Lyft/Uber to make money while I look for a full-time, PROPER job.

By the way, can I do that to a contracting job? Just call it quits when you haven't even finished your first task? How does this work?

My boss (non IT background) : Our contract with X company says the website must be web 2.0 compliant.

Me : What year is it!!

The best part of being a developer? Finding extra side work (easily) to completely pay for a vacation for my wife and I to Ecuador/Peru! We're currently sitting in the airport!

After working late to complete a "required" feature, to have the client change their mind the next morning.

It's not a dev quiting but my brother who worked in parcel delivery at that time.
He was hired on a temporary contract but promissed from the beginning and in every discussion they had, that he'll get a permanent position after 6 moth, if his work is good.

Fast forward 6 months. They had a meeting and told him how satisfied they where with his work so naturally he asked about the permanent contract. Fuckers acted suprise and shit. Claiming to never have said any of it. However as they are happy with him and so "generous", they offerd him another contract for 6 months and told him, they could talk about a permanent one after that period.

He kind of has a temprament, so he got up, fliped them the bird and called them lying assholes and went home. He didn't show for the time left on his contract.

The funny thing about it he worked for the swiss postal service (which is owned by the state) but not directly but through this.company providing temporary workers (which is cheaper for them as they get a shitty salary compared to a full time employee with all the benefits).

Wankers!

Nice thing though, the accounting department still sent him a christmas bonus (he quit somewhere around mai...)

I've told this one before, but the guy had his platform bought with a promise of partnership. they kept stalling the contract, and he would repeatedly ask when he was gonna get paid his share, and eventually they said "we never promised that". he deleted everything from the team's computers, revoked all access and left. since there was never a contract, they didn't do anything about it

"This is incredibly unprofessional. You need to give at least 2 weeks notice like any other company that you work for" - Hiring manager to me after I said I couldn't come in today to the office.

Background for y'all:
1. I did a 2-day interview process and I never received news from HR that I got hired
2. I followed up today with HR and only then did they tell me in WhatsApp "Oh well you're hired"
3. HR didn't go into details about the contract, I was the one who proactively asked about it and HR just said "Oh I will send you your contract tomorrow and all the details."
4. Ergo, no contract has been signed TODAY and I have not gone through it and above all, I haven't accepted the offer yet

I gave the company a notice 30 minutes after thinking this through and said I won't come in today and made up a story (that I accepted another offer but really come on that's already a red flag - asking somebody to come in without a signed contract hey I'm not working for free)

Hiring manager said the above plus "I understand there's no contract yet but we're short on the team now so you should be on the train to come here"

No. I'm not obliged to do a 2 weeks notice when I do not have any contract binding me to this. You should appreciate I gave a notice instead of not showing up. Please tell me how professional your company is when internally your hiring team doesn't communicate with the hiring manager and you don't know the hiring laws of the country???

Eh fuck it, it's a 1 hr 41 minutes commute anyway if I ever did accept their offer.

Just got moved from contractor to full time at my dream company halfway through my contract. On top of the world right now 😀

This happened a while back but thought it would be an interesting story.

So there is this guy, I'll call him Jack. Jack was a weirdo. He just graduated high school but thought of himself as very hot in terms of dev skills. He boasted lots of good programs, that are the best in industry, except they don't work (like the best proven file compressor, that just can't decompress anything because of some "bugs"). He also entered language holy wars quite actively, saying that Delphi is the best platform ever.

Aaanyway, a couple of years pass. Jack is now a student. Jack tries to make some money, so he talks to some guy, that offers him a "job" at the tax office, where he has to modernize the data infrastructure of the tax authorities. If you think this sounds very wrong, then you're 100% correct. But it gets better. After 2 months of work, the guy manages to do that. It's a simple CRUD application after all.

So everything works, but the guy who gave him this job refused to pay. He stalled and then just stopped answering the phone. Jack is now furious. So what he does, is publish the databases online, so everyone could see the income of every citizen. Authorities are in panic. They send the police to his door. They seize his computer and lock him up for a few days.

To sum it all up: Jack took up a job, without any contract, without any NDA, which is completely illegal in of itself, but he did that with the tax authority. And delivered the product before getting paid. And when he understood that he was owned, he published all online. He got bit back. The guy who gave him this job had no consequences for illegally hiring someone and not paying for their work.

Lesson: Don't be Jack

my fucking boss wants me to wear formal clothes to work (no tracksuit, no hoodie etc...), it's like i will type 1/3x faster with my FUCKING TIE! I WANT TO MURDER THE MOTHERFUCKER

Just got a fat check for completing my first solo software contract.

Life isnt half bad for a highschool dropout.

DigitalOcean

My god, it's so easy and simple to spin up a server for a few minutes without being stuck with a contract of a year. Also, being able to manage all my domains there is a blessing :D

Worst experience with a higher up?

At an old contract job (around 2013), I was contracted by the company to help guide their developers with me to rewrite their software (it was buggy as shit, they didn't know better.).

So, a month later, we are in the middle of the rewrite and the boss flies in pissed that it's not done yet, he had the audacity to accuse me of stealing contract work with no experience in the area.

I told him flat out, "you don't know what the hell you are talking about. If you didn't hire a JV coding team, you wouldn't need me to redirect your damn rewrite."

He fired me, so I went to his superior and told her the situation. She told me i completely deserved it.

Worse part was I got paid half of my contract. Didnt make that mistake again. 😒😒

Found out later that the company failed, declared bankruptcy. Felt pretty happy.

So this is a comparison of mobile contract prices in Europe which include 50 GB per month. I think I don‘t want to live in Germany anymore 😓

France: 14,49€
Swiss: 25,46€
...
Germany: 199,95€

So...my company decided to say that I am not effective because not working more than 12 hours per day and work on weekends. But in my contract stated 9:30 - 6:30

To those wondering what's it like to work in corporates and "HOW slow is it, really...?".

My corp project contract ended 1.5 months ago.
Today I got an email saying my access request has been finally approved and implemented.

Client: “I’m sorry I just don’t understand the issue with the contract?

You said logging into Facebook was easy, what’s the issue with feature X (= complex graph API queries based on opinions and sentiment) and displaying images and videos, it’s the same thing!!!”

... no sir, it is NOT

Fixing someone else's code who left the job.
Production suddenly not working, cannot debug locally, cannot deploy to a test environment because it does not exists anymore.
There should be a contract clause that developer need to support his project for 2 years after he leaves his job.

My company got another contract to support a research institute. My current contract has shitty leadership that won't back us against our boss (different company, same contract) without proof. The fact that 3 of the 4 of us dread going to work isn't enough?

Anyways. Talking to the other site about transferring. Need to gtfo to a less toxic environment where I won't be made to work fucked up hours with a boss who doesn't like women in tech, and thinks he's something special because he's vegan (but had real leather jackets and bike seats, but that's an entirely different story) and does yoga and plays the guitar.

Meanwhile, he resents his kids and seems to regret getting married. All because he used his military education benefits to pay for their school.

Got hired as a fullstack dev last august (first dev job). This was a 1 year contract. Was offered permanent employment today and I can't stop grinning :D

Just got a signed contract for a new client's project. PLEASE don't be crooks! PLEASE pay me on time. PLEASE don't make my life miserable. Like the last one did.

(Instant Message)
Client: Are you there?
Me: Yes speak please.
(Why don't you just leave the message? It's not like having a phone call…)
Client: The contract is ready. I'll send it to you.
(Waited for an akaward 10 minute…)
Client: ???Can you receive it???
(Omg are you doing SSL handshake or what? Just send the file!)
Me: Yes I can pleasre send it to me thank you so much.

So after promoting Flutter to the clients (for whom cross plateform solution are perfect match) for almost a year, today I finally got the first ever Flutter App contract. I believ e time for Flutter is really coming. Wish me luck!

WHAT IS THAT!!! Not signing this contract 😂😂😂

this happened in the first project of a small software company.

the contract said: project will be finished only until customer satisfaction

the customer was never satisfied. So, the company had to close and open with a different brand name

Okay.
- insurance asking for residence contract
- residence asking for insurance and student proof
- university asking for residence and insurance
All hail French administration!

Nothing like waking up to racist messages from a client that isn't even under contract yet, guess who's getting flagged and muted.

2008: Back in the days when Vodafone used emojis for their contracts. Cool.

Just signed the contract for renting my first ever place today, and tomorrow is my first day of work as a software developer at a large company... It's been a crazy weekend, and tomorrow is probably gonna be even crazier! Little bit nervous tho... We'll see how it goes

Lots of stress and strain the last months private and at work.
Headache all the days and no time to get back to my self. Programming starts to get tedious.

Now changing my life completely.
Broke up with my girlfriend and started looking for a new work - finally got a new contract today.
Dismissal coming on Monday.
3 months to go to get a enjoyable life.

PS: lurking some months and finally created an account. Thanks for all the rants which let me smile!

Story: Fastest I got a freelance/contract job
Company: *sends me an email that we saw you on GitHub, your profile is good and blah blah openings etc, if you are interested provide phone and suitable time.
*On call* starters conversation done in 2 minutes
C: how much experience do you have in blah blah frameworks
Me: x months
C: can you do blah blah work
Me: yeah
C: we want you to join from blah blah date and we can pay you x much money
Me: alright thanks, send me the formalities.

I just gave a successful demo to the CEO and CTO of a company I'm doing some contract work for. The questions they were asking led to me going off script, luckily it all worked!

So finished a project for a client, the client signed a contract. He signed off that all milestones where reached. Text me that he was very pleased.
We give 30 days to pay. 8 days before the due date he asked for a meeting, telling us he wants to go another direction and he wants the source code to show the new development team he's going with to get a quote from them. I tell him that, that's fine he can have the source files once he pays for the product which was in the contract they signed mind you!! And this FUCKING DICK FART threats to sue, saying he's calling his lawyer, threatening me and my development partner with physical violence, and saying he's going to sue me personally not because me work was bad but because I refused to give him the product before he paid. I was calm we offered to meet his new dev team explain the code, and show them what they needed to see to give the clients a quote and they would not allow that, saying how now I'm not getting paid instead I'm getting sued and that he will publicly shame my startup company. Just complete bullshit, good thing I saved the original contract he wanted me to sign which had threats of physical violence I. His contract... Which in retrospect should have been a hint, but it was the highest paying contract we ever landed. Seems he never planned on paying. What's a guy to do?

Worst: I lost development contract - probably due to covid - after 4 years of work. I got email when I was at bank seconds before signing mortgage for my first apartment.
I signed it anyways as a technically unemployed person without income looking at the world collapsing.

Best: I gained new contract with 40% money raise. Fuck yeah !

I signed the contract for my first software developer job! I just want to thank everybody here that’s pushed me to do better, challenged my assumptions, and contributed to my growth as a dev and person. You all are great.

Goddamn it.
I extended my contract at a company, also switched from 8 hrs to 4 hrs. Me not knowing exactly when the switch is happening, i thought i have to work 8 hrs till the first contract is over (middle of the month ish). Well, huge nope, it changed in the beginning of september. I managed to do 40 hrs of overwork.
They don't pay overwork. Fck this.
Well at least i can stay home more :P

“Your idea is not valuable, at all. All value is in the execution. You think you are an exception; you are not. You should not insist on an NDA to talk about it; nobody serious will engage in contract review over an idea, and this will mark you as clueless.” Patrick McKenzie

Most awkward recruiter interaction was probably when I had to tell a staffing agency that I didn't want to work for them because I had already worked for them and left.

I got into IT by working for a staffing agency and I was contracted out to a large company's IT call center. Doing the usual sort of level-one tech support stuff. After my contract term ran out (and upon reminding my boss that she wouldn't be my boss for much longer if she didn't hire me away from the staffing agency), I was hired on full-time.

Six months later I left the call center and moved on to a cloud server development job in the same company. Not long after that, I got a message on LinkedIn from the staffing agency, offering to hire me on as a contractor working for one of their largest partners in the area.

I responded asking for more details, just for fun. The company I'd be working for, etc. Then I had to inform them that I had in fact previously worked for their firm, and now worked at the company that they were offering to contract me out to, and earning a fair bit more money than they were offering.

They didn't even look at my employment information on LinkedIn before sending the InMail. Just glanced over my skills, saw the magic buzzword "devops," and sent me a message.

Well done, T-Mobile!

They have an iOS app to handle contract stuff. That app integrates their shop system via an internal browser.
The shop notifies me, that the used browser is not supported by the shop...

Oh and the browser is an embedded safari on iOS 12.

Fun day, lots of relief and catharsis!

Client I was wanting to fire has apparently decided that the long term support contract I knew was bullshit from go will instead be handled by IBM India and it's my job to train them in the "application." Having worked with this team (the majority of whom have been out of university for less than a year), I can say categorically that the best of them can barely manage to copy and paste jQuery examples from SO, so best of fucking luck.

I said, "great!," since I'd been planning on quitting anyways. I even handed them an SOW stating I would train them for 2 days on the application's design and structure, and included a rider they dutifully signed that stated, "design and structure will cover what is needed to maintain the application long term in terms of its basic routing, layout and any 'pages' that we have written for this application. The client acknowledges that 3rd party (non-[us]) documentation is available for the technologies used, but not written by [us], effective support of those platforms will devolve to their respective vendors on expiry of the current support contract."

Contract in hand, and client being too dumb to realize that their severing of the maintenance agreement voids their support contract, I can safely share what's not contractually covered:

- ReactiveX
- Stream based programming
- Angular 9
- Any of the APIs
- Dotnet core
- Purescript
- Kafka
- Spark
- Scala
- Redis
- K8s
- Postgres
- Mongo
- RabbitMQ
- Cassandra
- Cake
- pretty much anything not in a commit

I'm a little giddy just thinking about the massive world of hurt they've created for themselves. Couldn't have happened to nicer assholes.

I got the job and wow that was fast. I applied for the job on monday at 2 am and they sent me the contract on tuesday (today) at 10pm. Thats 44 hours from the first mail until I got the contract :D

Also: I just love it, the company seems to be exactly what I was looking for

When meeting other devs, I'm always wondering if they are on devRant too...

Just went to a company to sign a contract for my internship in the summer holidays and there were 3 other people at about my age. 🤔

I thought about opening devRant in the elevator to see their reactions but it was very full and I couldn't do it...

Anyways if anyone reading this, just signed a contract, the ugly guy was me!

Marketing : Do you think we can implement this feature in a system?

Dev : Hmm....*checking specs*...This will...

Marketing : *interrupts* we have already signed a contract with a client.

Dev : ugh......

Finally handed in my resignation. It’s a lengthy one, so that’s going to sting on Monday haha.

However, I signed a new contract Friday, better pay, better benefits, pension etc.

Onwards and upwards, feels good.

Client have this amazing idea about a website that they wanted to convert into reality by using our service. Me and my friend started working on it.

After a month later when it's almost ready, they informed they are not investing into the idea anymore. They would like to discard the project and will pay half of it.

I am eventually realising why signing a contract is really important

That thing, when you're in the first two days at a new contract, when you don't have access to anything and everyone keeps asking "what are you working on"?

😭🔫

!rant
After my performance review talk. Boss offered me a permanent contract.

Friend: « Can you help me do the js part of my paid contract for free ? »
Me: Yeees, sure, I am not going to do that, never

The guy was a complete asshole. He criticized every line of code i did and said he could find someone else who could do it better for less.

It also doesn't help the fact that i worked alone in that project.

Just finished signing my first ever professional contract. Shortly after I was given a conpany sheet where I had to give part of my personal info and answer some fun questions, one of which was what super power would you want to have?
My answer was obviously: The ability to always find the missing ';' 😂😂😂

Adult site..

you will have contract length free premium membership
and contract length wood.

just saw a contract job "Write tests for existing codebase"....

New project, sent a 7 page contract to the client. First day of work and client begins to ask things outside scope and terms.

I explained what is written in contract and he interrupted me saying "I READ THE CONTRACT".

One minute later, he starts asking the same things again.

Client: "We're not ready to be finished with the project but I don't want to pay you any more money to meet the terms of the contract we both signed, even though all my must-have changes led to more costs just like you had warned me they would."

Me: "Don't make any more changes, plez."

Client: "Imma make another change."

Me: "No. Stahp. Don't."

Client: "I added four new fields and probably a ton more business rules I don't care to understand."

Me: "Kill me. Just put this gun to my head and kill me."

Client: "That's not in our contract!"

One of the things I have no fucking patience for is bureaucracy. For the last year I've been working for a company I have no problem with, I like the place and I like the people here. Recently I was contacted by another company and offered a better salary to work for them. I was open about it with my boss and we both accorded that I will receive the same salary to stay (It was ok to me since I feel comfortable here), but in order to do that I'll have to sign a new contract. Ok, no big deal. Few days later a HR girl contacts me to send her all the documentation needed to elaborate a contract, and I was like 'You guys already have all my documents, been working here for a year'. But Ok, I tried not to be picky and just sent her everything again. Then she requests online psychometric tests, sends a shitload of formats to fill, like personal references, their company-custom resume format, privacy policies, and many more stupid and irrellevant paperwork nobody should need when a person has been working for you for a year and you want him to stay. I really tried to be patient and do everything the HR girl wanted me to do, but for one reason or other, she kept rejecting the formats I was sending (I had to download, print, sign, scan and resend many of them). We've been wrestling for an entire fucking week over this shit via email and she can't just write a new contract, make me sign it and leave me the fuck alone. The last thing she compained about was a stupid personal reference format I didnt scan with my signature on. This other company wants me to start next monday. I guess the next document I'll be sending her will be my resignation letter.

!rant
Just signed a contract as a full-time web developer at Mid-Norway's largest productions house.
Prior 6 months as an apprentice, no prior formal education, self-taught since the age of 12, and I'm 20 now.

I see myself needing a stress ball in the future

Agreed on an offer from company X... Told them I'd sign the contract on my first working day, still a week away.

The offer had a lower salary than my previous job, I needed to relocate, and travel costs were not covered. It was a step back for me but I really needed a new job.

After the weekend I got an invitation for another interview... All went well and the perks were better than the offer made by company X.

Next day I had the second interview and they were very excited and offered me a contract.

Contract came in on friday, signed it and called company X that I'd like to reject the position after reconsidering my options...

Boy were they pissed off 😂

Working as a new employee: no wifi. No work. 10 new tools to get familiair with. 41 new people to get to know. No workstation. No desk. No signed contract.
So far so good.

Has anyone who's running a start-up had to deal with email happy clients?

I just watched a thread of 14 emails be generated for sending a maintenance contract which was already agreed upon.

Most of the emails are "thanks for the reply........."
To which some one will reply " thanks for the reply.........

Easy work does not pay...

So it's done. I signed my new contract with my new company after I left my old job. Better contract level, better pay, better benefits (at my old office they didn't even give me a pc. I had to use mine..)..
But the sad/funny story is that my old boss do not talk to me anymore because he can't understand why I'm leaving..sooo mature!
I really don't care because actually he do not deserve anything from me, he's (and forever will be) an arrogant prig without humility.
The only regret is leaving the co-workers I bound with..but I'm sure we'll be in touch.
Yep.. maybe this is definitely a rant/story!
Wish me good luck for this new adventure!

Hey if you make an app that specifically depends on gnome and has 2 gigs of dependencies on other platforms

fuck you fuck your ancestors fuck your entire extended family fuck everything you have, do and will ever stand for, i hope you contract ever imaginable diseases to the point where existence itself pains you.

Just got my Contract canceled by my client cuz introducing -- my half-month of hard work -- April Fools Theme to his Website i've been working on past 5 months (not including vacation).

Worth it 🤣🤣🤣🤣

New contract termination clause to be included in all future project contracts: "Contracting client agrees that uttering the phrase 'Your job is whatever I say it is,' or any semanticaly equivalent variant thereof is grounds for immediate contract termination. All work product and IP rights will transfer and assign to contracting client ONLY upon payment in full of contracted payment amount prorated to contract termination date."

1. Send the contract for a new project to the customer
2. They inform you that the project is canceled
...
...
3. Receive the contract signed by the customer
...
4. ???
5. PROFIT

It might be a stupid question, but:
Do the full-stack devs of you actually have that function in the job contract or does it just say "(junior/senior) software developer"?

Mine says just "Software Developer" and in my opinion it sounds just too generic and undervalued for what I'm actually doing...

I didnt thought I have to write this down, but you people dont get standard business logic, so here advice from someone who knows that shit:
- If you wanna get paid, make your own contract and let a lawyer look over it.
- always have a lawyer on retainer and enough money for him/her.
- nothing is real without a signature.
- your clients should know that you're gonna sue them if they don't pay.
- don't go easy on anyone, here an easy way to decide if you should sue:
Didnt pay? Sue.
Breaks contract? Sue
Asks for later payment? Dont
- always code in a killswitch, trust me you're gonna need it.

Just like GMO foods have to be labelled as such in some regions, electron apps should be labelled too so I don't accidentally contract RAM-herpes

When me and 2 friends/officemates of mine, formed a freelance team to work part time for us to pay the bond contract on our full time job. We were able to leave 9 months after forming the team.

Worked alongside lead dev who was also a contractor. The lead dev made a lot of demands on the codebase, and I managed to work around their demands, but at the expense of more progress. They were fired out of nowhere just recently, and oh wait, they never wrote a single line of code this whole time and the budget can't get us another contractor now. I am going to lose my mind on this contract and I'm pulling my first of many all-nighters right now, wish me luck.

I'm halfway in on a six-month disaster contract where I'm converting a massive site written over 7~8 years to a new system. Manager has had us restart about 4 times and there are other departments who want to take over. The deadline is so tight that I've stuck with the original plan and kept my code flexible to be changed if the manager wants to go with the other teams' ideas. ("Okay, manager: here's a clone, tell the other team to prove that works") The lead dev, to my horror, didn't write any code and was let go in November.

Manager hired a new dev part-time whose commitment is on something entirely separate that is required in order for the deadline to be pushed to Summer. (new thing for old thing)

New dev has an attitude, basically wants to start over, and is already acting like I'm his subordinate, very patronizing, very dodgy when asked to explain a strong opinion (THIS IS A SECURITY PROBLEM!!!1). I really have no idea what my manager promised to him. Also found out that manager hired an agency to create a roadmap of the project (WHY?!!! WHY NOW?!). I've been burned once already with the previous lead, and I'm not wild about working with yet another person who wants to burn the whole thing to the ground and start completely over, especially not someone who wants to engage in a dick-measuring contest.

Do you guys have any advice? I mean, other than quitting? I'm going to see this through, but I'm burned out.

> move out
> few months to get married
> get a client
> get another client
> first client starts to get messed up
> tell the first client to cancel the contract
> second client cancels my contract because the first client is pissing me off and making my productivity decline
> first client don't wanna cancel the contract nor pay me
> brings a lawyer
> 3 weeks to get married
> no job
> bills to pay
> lawyer to pay

great to be me

If I dont fucking get a passing grade on this test I'll have to wait another year for my diploma yet I allready siged a full time contract 🙃🙃🙃

Just casually learning if I don't fix a bunch of stuff I know nothing about in a technology I have never touched within 2 weeks the company loses a 100k contract.

Should book holiday.

I actually have no idea why I got hired. I didn't have an interview rather a chat. Next thing I knew I had the offer letter and an employees contract.

Regus sent me to collections.

Jist: if you ever think about renting an office from Regus, for the love of your bank account and your credit, just don't. Go into the kitchen and pan-fry your face instead. it'll be better.

Moral: get it in writing. What is "it"? Fucking everything.

------

I needed someplace quiet away from my children to work, so I rented an office from Regus. They said they had a minimum 6-month contract, which is fine, but at the time I was pretty sure I would be moving within three to five. They said they understood and offered the quivalent of a month-to-month plan: I could cancel my contract whenever I wanted, given a few weeks' notice, and that would be that. It wasn't in writing, but both the accounts person and the regional manager were there offering it to me, and they seemed cool. Awesome! I agreed, signed the contract, and paid a hefty damage deposit.

Long story short, I ended up hating the office, and chose to bear the distractions at home instead. Seeing how much I disliked it, the accounts person I talked to originally called me and offered to cancel my contract. I agreed, and she walked me through the steps to cancel it and request my deposit back. Done. I aske her if that was it; no more payments, no more contract. "No more," she said. "You're done." I liked the sound of that. Done and done.

The next day, I check my bank account; no deposit.
Two weeks later, still no deposit.
A month later, still no deposit.

They did say it could take up to three fucking months or something, so whatever. I waited.

Another month later, and instead of my refunded deposit, I get an overdue invoice notice? Seriously?

Apparently they never cancelled my contract, don't remember offering me the month-to-month agreement, nor does the very chick I talked to remember telling me over the phone that everything was paid up and done. Apparently my contract wasn't even for six months like they originally promised, but indefinite? despite all of this? and despite the two of us fucking cancelling it? together?

But no, the legal agreement is binding and explicitly states that they are fucking assholes and due their pound of cash.

So fuck that and fuck them.
And in response, they sent me to collections.
Huge fucking surprise.

and now collections is calling me saying I owe $1900, which works out to a lot more than the couple months it's been since I cancelled that crap, AND.

AND IT'S LESS THAN THE FUCKING DEPOSIT REGUS NEVER RETURNED!

SO NOT ONLY DID THEY NEVER CANCEL MY CONTRACT, THEY CHANGED ITS TERMS (or lied up-front) AND DECIDED TO POCKET THE DEPOSIT INSTEAD OF APPLY IT TO MY FUCKING IMAGINARY BALANCE!

FUCK YOU SHADY MOTHERFUCKERS!

It was my first time. I didn’t write a contract.

After I graduated, I found a junior job in a company where I already knew the only dev, who has been working there for 6 years. Immediately after I signed the contract, the manager told me that the other guy was leaving the company in one month... Horror!

Was approached by a (serious) recruiter and the project they're looking to hire for is a 3 year contract, remote and actually sounds really interesting and right up my alley.

Cue the self doubt.

Scared shitless I won't pass the bog standard PHP skill assessment test.

SHUT UP BRAIN.

Oh please it's weekend. Don't call me or message me, especially if it's not urgent 😡 My contract doesn't include selling my soul.

Just went from full time employee at my work to contract under my own LLC on a retainer at my old salary. I'm my own man and it feels great. All the tax breaks shall be mine.

No-contract client stops the project in the middle and wants his complete deposite (25%) back. How to tell this asshole that he has to pay even more??

I loved my previous job. It paid shit but I learned so much. Starting from prototyping to production. DevOps, Development etc. I started a new job 1 year ago. It pays great but man, I only do “if-else” nothing else.

My old boss contacted me for some contract job because the dev that he hired after me, not only he didn’t do anything, but broke production and all other systems on a Friday before going on vacation. So the company went old school with excel spreadsheet to keep track of orders.

I accepted the contract job and man. I’ve learned so much these past 2 weeks, working only ~ 10 hrs / week.

I am sad, I am not getting paid for last month's work as it was some "mis-communication" and my contract was available till August! 2 options

> set opacity of the website in such a manner it partially shows anything
> set the website on fire

Next time I have to negotiate a contract I'm gonna ask for x hourly but 2x for meetings

Fuck meetings

Why the fuck management keep outsourcing entire platforms for in-house use if we have a fucking dev team...

Those platforms are constantly having contract issues and one we recently rewrote from scratch and is waaay better than the one they fucking paid another company to do....

When my boss called me 4 nights in a row at 3 AM where I had to get up at 6 to go to school, and forcing me to work 25-30 hours a week when the contract said approximately 15.

Brilliant Stakeholder: of course communication with our backend will be encrypted with an algorithm I'll confidentially share with you once the contract is signed
Senior Developer: npm install md5

Wondering why I haven't received deposit for new job yet. Check for signed quote and contract... Yep, both there. Look I account program to see when I sent invoice.....

I haven't sent it yet!
I'm a dick!

When a client tries to sue but then realizes their fight was nullified by the signed contract.

Bird = client
Fox = Developer

Won the big contract. 😅

I'm going home!

For the past six months I've been on a contract that has kept me away from my family. On Saturday I will finally be moving back home. I'm elated to be seeing my family again, but I'm scared because I don't have a new job lined up. Wish me luck.

Lol, my boss wanted me to sign a one year contract for a shitty money, because "that's the standard in it". Well... no.

My Contract just got terminated with immediate effect

Some part of me feels like its a good thing

I'm going to start searching for a new job next month. I was let go from my current one because my co-workers were putting in 60~80 hours per week and I was only putting in 40 (plus one 13 hour weekend, which we were paid for. I refused to work the next Sunday and was let go two days later. We were salary exempt; no overtime).

When interviewing this fall, I do intend to list a 40 hour work week as something I'm looking for, but what do I say about my current employment status?

This has only happened once in the past; years ago. I simply said "My contract ended" at the time, and I got a job really quickly so it wasn't an issue.

When a potential employer asks, do I say I was let go because I couldn't keep up with the two months of 60~80 hour work weeks, or do I simply say, "My contract ended." (A little bet of a stretch since I was an FTE, but a work agreement is technically a contract and it technically did end).

Update to interview that I had, it went well, I'm starting a 3 month contract 30th May, (soon after my honeymoon). When that's over we'll have a discussion and hopefully I'll be the right fit for the company.

#!/bin/not-a-rant
What's the best site to look for contract work for developers ? I have a salaried position but want to moonlight to raise money for adopting a girl . My wife and I have had eight
miscarriages , and adoption is prohibitively expensive!

Italy:

"Here's your collective contract, you get paid like everyone else in this job regardless of your experience or proven skills"

Can't blame anyone for getting out of that hellhole

It sucks when a better company offers you a better role once you are signed a contract in lower company.

I got a median-pay front-end job through a contractor (after a contract from hell...but yeah I didn't learn...) and I'm getting zero assignments after a month and nobody seems to know what my role is.

I'm one month in, and every week I have to email my boss to remind her to sign my paycheck, which is stressful because I'm charging for my time because my assignments are like "Research this" or "look at this Wordpress theme or brand guide". The team never communicates but once a week, and I'm beginning to believe that I'm not a good fit for the team because they are impossible to get a hold of and the sysadmin won't give me access to anything even when I CC my boss. (I don't want to grief this guy...) Despite this, I've been told privately by higher-ups on a few occasions that they plan to hire me full time by November...

My SO thinks that the reason people are so dodgy toward me is because they literally do nothing and I'm breaking the flow of that by asking for things. I'm used to agency output, which can be toxic and where everything is 'due yesterday', and I'm watching this team work on assignments ten times slower than normal. ("You want to change a phone number on a website footer? You'll get it next week...maybe." I can't step on toes because I don't have access...) I'm perfectly fine with having to wear several hats at a low-stress job, but I can't even get my first assignment and I'm still being asked who I am in weekly meetings, or asked things like, "Would you even be willing to relocate here?" (I actually live DOWN THE STREET FROM THE OFFICE!! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE REMOTE? Why am I being asked this question?) It feels like my boss impulse hired me, with zero input from the team, and had no real reason to hire me in the first place...

It could also be another issue: Yeah, my experience is in PHP/JS/React, "but here have a seven year old .NET project and a company laptop with zero documentation and make this form import data to a database we know nothing about." Lead dev won't even talk to me.

I feel like a joke.

Few weeks ago: Please write the system design docs for feature X of the new project Y. We need it in two weeks.
Few days later: Stop working on the docs, the customer hasn't yet bought that feature.
Few days later: We found that we included that feature in the main contract already. We need the docs in two days.
Today (docs delivered a month ago): There was a misinterpretation of the requirements and the contract, the customer hasn't bought the feature with the main contract, it has to be sold additionally. You didn't do anything 'til now, did you?

It would be really nice, if sales could finally decide what the customer bought and then tell me about the requirements that are already covered in the docs anyway. But I fear it could end in asking the customer 🤪🔫

Deleted a whole repo after a client started renegotiating a closed contract. smh

a former client and their client keep contacting me about the project i did for them, we couldn't agree on a new contract but they keep asking me things about the site but, if they had signed would be billable.

Sorry i dont work for free.

when you spend a week implementing paypal subscriptions for your company's ecommerce platform and they tell you to scrap it because paypal doesnt allow you to configure a subscription contract after its been made

Got the first payment of the next contract after a three month slump! The first slump since leaving university.

Time to pay devRant for Sanity Preservation Services for three months. 🤗

!rant

I just did a thing. Signed the contract for buying my very first apartment at age 21. So fucking stocked, and feel bad for my wallet

Hired by large prestigious company to do web development. Understanding at the outset, I was not a web developer, just wanted my foot in the door with the company. 2 days after orientation, I am placed on a $20 million contract expansion with 3 other developers. All new to this contract. So: new language, new technologies, new team, no leadership, no mentorship. 2 months later after a month of asking for help, I'm asked why I'm not delivering solid code by the project exec and moved to the testing team. Testing team lead introduces me to people on the contract and answers questions or tells me vaguely where to loom. Spend last 4 months building a professional fuck you by making myself a yes man to everyone and their mother. Left the contract and have been getting regular hours with them since (including developing for them). New contract loves me and despite the project execs attempt to torpedo me, I have an excellent reputation and am positioned for career advancement already.

I couldn't give him the finger, but I made him regret lettimg me go. Original team lead has since been released for unrelated HR complaint.

I'm currently working on a feature that no one likes. Everyone knows that it will be removed soon because the users won't understand it, but it still has to be implemented due to client-side Management madness.

Good thing: the contract with this client expires in 3 weeks :)

8 days till end of contract.
Let’s hope nobody nice want to hire me for at least a month.
I need vacation badly.

Next Wednesday, I have a project presentation at my school, where me and a fellow student will show to a jury a project we worked on for at least 6 months (and also that the 3rd dude in my team did absolutely nothing). This means that at the end of this, we'll get a diploma, which means the end of my fucking studies that took me 7 years.

The same day, I have my 3rd job interview with a company, in which I expect to either sign a contract or to get back the contract a few days after.

I'm both overwhelmed and shitting my pants.

wrote my first smart contract today!

Consulting/contracting for a company, and their lead developer/ops guy quits without warning. This leaves me as the only one with the somewhat technical know how but without access to do anything to move any changes to production....

"Why are you sometimes late?"

Because your promised office was always late. Had to commute 2 hours and work for almost 10 hours in weekdays just to sleep for 4 hours.

You said that the new Office will be in August. Now it's October and it's still half-baked.

Learn Empathy first

During my last University year, a big IT Corp made a national contest for students with some 3 phases and some prized at the end. I ended 14 over 2000 participants and they called me for an internship which eventually turned up to a good job contract. Still working with them now.

Signing the contract with a new agency as their new dev in 3 hrs. Will quit my current Job on Aug. 18. Looking forward to that day. Boss will explode...

"This is now urgent we are in risk of breach of contract."

*travels an hour just to discuss*

"Oh don't worry, don't panick about it, so and so is probably sorting it. We most likely don't need it."

I specifically asked my employer when fix time is, whether I get a work laptop, and whether WFH is optional, because

- I'm a night owl and don't function until 10am
- my personal laptop is slow as shit and I don't want to put Windows on it
- I don't have a decent chair at home yet

- client team agreed on fix time starting an hour before what's in my contract, and PM made it clear that they expect to be able to call us an hour before and two hours after (that's what fix time means unless I misunderstand)
- I got a crap backup laptop after a week of moaning, with promise of a better one two weeks from now
- I won't get an RFID card for weeks, so I effectively can't enter or leave the client offices

Got a promotion at the end of April this year from Junior Dev to React Engineer, and HR STILL hasn't amended my contract... At this point I'm owed 2 months of backpay... Why is it so hard for HR in any business to just change a field, sign some forms and bung it off?

I feel like adding a new section to my contract mentioning that any uninformed delay in response, payments, or material transfer would cost an additional fee per day (except on public holidays and weekends).

Any thoughts?

When you've signed a contract to not build something similar to the customers product but their implementation sucks and you just want to make the world a better place. #Hooli

Gives an award winning VR idea to our 'Digital Manager'

Says it's too hard for us to do ( it wasn't ) , goes out and pitches it to another digital agency for 'Help', ( mainly coz of the freelance commission )

They go ahead with the idea and make their campaign with it.

we don't get anything. no credit, nothing.

I wonder how the hell someone become a manager with that much of stupidity.

Waiting for my interview at a big firm.
Nervous.
If I am accepted here, I will have to break a 1 year contract with my previous company. I just feel it is not the right thing to do but this is a very good oppurtunity for me.

a contract designer came in usually one hour late with headphone on playing b-box music, who took a nap on his desk almost everyday before his contract ended. later, he took on a creative director gig in another startup

Started this day great with the mention that a coworkers contract isn’t suspended.

In August?

Thats in freaking 6 months. Workload is already fucking insane, and STILL you fucking decide to fucking fire another fucking person from YOUR fucking company.
This has been the 5th i think and my contract is due to July. If it is prolonged i’m thinking of screwing this company over my going away myself. Bunch of mother fucking idiots.

Ended the day great as well.
Heard that a new person is going for lead promotion. Haha.
He has been here for only two months. :,)

Left and right projects are exploding meanwhile i’m in the middle trying to cut the right wire!

>Be me.
>Apprentice dev, first real programming job.
>Excited to start work.
>Contract comes through.
>About what I expected, i.e. we own everything you make while working here.
>Sign and send the signed pages back.
>Next day...

>READ THESE 5 20 PAGE PDF BOOKLETS, DO PENSIONS, SIGN 3 DOCUMENTS, LET US LOOK UP YOUR DICK PICS AND EVERYTHING ELSE, GIVE US YOUR PASSPORT, AND SEND BACK THE ENTIRE CONTRACT.

>...ok.

DFW the client decides to not renew the contract, and so their start hiring their own developers. This guy decides to fix a layout problem by putting everything in a table element, breaking a bunch of other shit he didn't test for before committing. Fucking end me now, please.

all companies want hire you asap and all those companies also wants you to sign a contract with at least one month notice leave

There's something very satisfying doing contract negotiations for your next job while you're stuck in a boring 4 hour meeting at your current shitty job.

So I sign a contract for a new app with a client and in the contract we mentioned that a down payment should be payed upon signature. Then when we signed they postponed the payments for 4 days then after 4 days for another 4 days which is next week.

I informed them that the work is paused until they prepare the down payment. The problem here is should i change the contract with new dates or it's fine to leave it as is?

I wish i can only work on my apps.

Just today I lost a lawsuit because my contract was written and signed in Nigeria and I sued them in the USA and I couldn't convince the judge it was fraud. I transformed the company implenting SAP and office365 and a WAN and many other projects. Worked nearly every single day 3 years in a row even during vacations, public holidays and holidays. Lost over 400k USD in lost benefits and wages that were in the contract but never paid. I feel absolutely devastated.
Unless you work for a US or European based company never ever work in Nigeria.

Teacher asks me to join him for a web app development.

First stages, I have to dig deep into a framework I don't know (He doesn't know it too, and I know that learning is the only way to step through)

Month goes by, began developing some mock-ups, he says he didn't like it, sends me a website made in fucking Wix. Seriously?

Fast forward another month, tonight I'm coding some stuff, he stills doesn't know how to fucking use Yii. fml

So my contract won't get extended :/
They want to centralize the team in the uk before the brexit... so... Fuck

If I ever get asked to write code in C for a contract again. I am going to use the llvm C++ to C compiler. Then deliver the machine generated C code to them.

I feel like being a doctor is like being a contract dev. You're thrown into a bad situation, you know the stack but you don't know the project history, best practices aren't followed, and the only dev is also the primary stakeholder who learned everything he knows from w3schools.

!rant

Got a permanent contract today after 1½ year of temporary contract. 🤩

I'll be doing mostly whatever I want, but it starts with a new mobile app for both Android and iOS. Maybe I'll try Xamarin or React Native. However, I don't know iOS (Swift) yet, so maybe I'll learn it along the way. It depends on what would be best for the users.

We're hiring contract developers at my office. Just leafing though someone's CV before an interview and noticed it was 10 pages long! That's been a record so far but to be honest so many have been 4-6 pages long. What happened to keeping things succinct and relevant!?

Started a new job, then I found out that the salary of the person in charge of me has lower/same as I have.

How did I know? I looked at the API without authentication of all the list of employees.

Luckily, I didn't sign the contract yet

Rant

Wtf are you taking man?
You’re supposed to be an experienced engineer but what the fuck are you doing leaking null pointer exceptions everywhere you go?

Just 1 more month. Good thing my manager isn’t renewing your contract.

Fuck!!!!

Client can't pay me and has asked to pay me in four installments spread across on month. Surely to all hell, if you don't have the money, don't hire a goddamn developer!

This job was decided before I got advice from you guys about getting a contract as well!

Finding out a colleague that you thought you got on well with thinks you're too big for your boots, the day you've been offered a full-time contract.
Fuck them. I'm gonna work my arse off and show them that my boots fit just fine, thank you very much!

New job hasn't provided a signable contract :/ well shit...

The moment when your company customer is a major mobile provider and you reply to their support question: "Device you mentioned was not included in the bundle you got, but we can include it for 4.99/m + vat if you're on contract."

;D for all the times they said it to me...

Applied to an AI startup, offering 100 bucks if I pass their coding challenge…hopefully just an algo question and not a damn jira ticket

Going to design a contract for my services it's going to include additional costs for additional changes because with clients the job is never done 😉😉

happy new year! what do yall have planned for this year? I'm thinking about writing me up a miniature jarvis to automate my Web Development business, nothing really special just automated invoices, website installs, calendar, contract signing, etc. where all I have to do is type up a requirement list and code

Developer contract, day rate £500 in London or £400 remote working! WTF!
Does the agency/client seriously think they should pay less for the same work if done remotely? If anything, remote should pay more, it saves the client money and the remote worker will probably have more productive hours without the fucking shitty commute.

I'll be asking the HR of my next company to include a "fuck off" clause in the contract if they want to hire me.

Under that clause, I would have the right to tell anyone, and everyone, to fuck off. It includes all 24 hours of the day, not just the working hours.

Today we got our first real contract for my software company. It fills me with the most confidence as I scroll this feed of people having the same issues as we do. Customers wanting more than was agreed, customers expecting us to know what they want before talking to us etc... Thank you devRant!

When your family v. 1.0 is very busy trying to enforce their outdated perspective regarding finding a compatible female of the human race for the purpose of tightly coupling by mutual contract and with hindsight of multiplication of inherited DNA sequence and genomes...

why do java developers wear glasses?

because their ciliary muscles can't contract to focus light on the retina

Have a contractor on at work who hand writes minified css. Counting down the weeks until that contract isn't renewed.

No performance bonus was mentioned in my contract but hey they gave me one anyway... Man I love working here

Exciting email, maybe I should change my name to Person.Person.PersonName

"Hi <Person.Person.PersonName, hope you are well!

I have an urgent new .NET contract I wanted to run by you!"

My oversea job journey continues on.

I am relocating from Taiwan to Germany. I got my work contract draft from the company. I don't think there are any big issues. But I still would like to consult dev friends here about the contract.

Especially for German companies, are there any tricky things that should be noted in the contract but sometimes ignored (intentionally or unintentionally)?

Any other advices about work/life in Germany are sure welcomed.

I am also happy to share my job seeking experiences, just put your questions on the comment.

Cheers.

!rant

Today I got access to the code for the new contract I’m working on.

It all built first time from source.

I’ve never wept such joyful tears.

Got my first dev job last November and I've been working as a contractor for the government. Supposed to be on a 4 year contract job, just found out that out project is being pulled in September. Is this common for federal contract work? My Human Resources team haven't been very helpful in explaining the process to me. Is private sector development any less volatile? I don't have a mentor or anybody I can bounce questions off so sorry if this is more or less common knowledge :/

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to do a military contract as a programmer. Then I remember those guys are always the ones who get murdered on NCIS

It's clearly in the contract people.
You walk a client through the entire contract and come launch they want to add pages and change layouts without paying extra because they have 24 hours to launch.
What don't you get about "you approved the site map, layouts, and designs which is what we quoted you for, contract clearly states how much per extra pages and how much to change layouts and designs after approval and work processed"

when a client agrees on a 23 working day timeline, two days after contract signature emails you they need it in 4 days and that it's a matter f life and death! :@

So I started a new on prem contract. No coffee machine in the office and the kitchen has no utensils. Wtf

I could write a book on this (and I am) but long story short: contracts people that have no tech know how, don't get tech inputs, then get mad and convince managers it's all the tech people's fault when the contract bombs.

can someone send me the link to download a client-developer contract related to software field?

Got a new job last year. Didn't want to be a contractor so they said contract to hire for what I thought was 6 months. When I get there, they said they meant a year. Fine. 18 months just passed and they renewed my contract for 3rd time without even mentioning full employment.

Now, because still a contactor, IT is making all non-essential contractors take two weeks of unpaid leave last two weeks of the year. Guess who was on that list?

I have only a week of pto from recruiter company to soften the blow but have to start over saving up for next trip.

Needless to say, already searching hard for my way out of there.