Our ex-employee wrote an amazing SQL SELECT-query consisting of 6449 characters. It has 11 JOINS and takes a solid minute to execute.

The table it fetches from has 16 records and the SQL query returns 46857 records and it was production code lmao

My project mananger let it slip during the sprint review that the upper managers are making plans to do lay offs / cut the fat.

What an ideal moment to hand in my resignation.

Tomorrow I'll get the contract for a new job \o/

This is a first... My CEO made a youtube video announcing that they fired an employee (sales). I don't even know why they had to make a youtube video. The link was part of an email, just write it down in that email instead of labeling it as "small message from our CEO"

So disrespectful in my opinion.

Quote of my CEO today: "We are never going to get an other lawyer as customer... Only problems!"

Imagine our users knowing their rights, such a shame.

We are refactoring the core feature of our unique selling point of our backend that all our products use.

And our product manager just decided that we will roll it out on Wednesday and we will not do any tests. r/whatcouldgowrong

Today, a colleague and I had to travel to a different office 2h away one way to play our mandatory game of table tennis....

It's now 5 minutes past my official working hours and they still haven't pulled out their foldable pingpong table. So respectful

I've had to create a very simple frontend feature connected to an API. That part works flawlessly but we have rewritten a bunch of code in the system for a certain hardware device.

Now the person that was working on the backend just said today he has no device to test it on lab environment. Neither does any colleague apparently

And guess who got a meeting with the CEO, COO, sales people and the project manager for a demo of that said feature :D

Company made it known a few weeks earlier they are not longer profitable...

Solution? Organize a table tennis tournament between colleagues. Mandatory participation.

Bunch of clowns

Project manager wants that we write a full app by only vibe coding and he is enforcing this...

Gotta say, this is one of the most unsatisfying projects so far...

Next week, my company decided to create a new app. But they are not sure about which features they all want. So far there is only consensus on a login screen.

They also expect us to learn a new framework/language over the weekend for no extra pay.

And they want the majority of the code to be vibe coded and we don't even have an idea what features we want...

This is going to be a disaster.

3 week ago, I made a post sharing that we got a new marketing guy and my colleague and I have a bet going on if he will last 6 months or not.

He is already fired.

One of our products we are supporting is selling so well. After 3 years, we are averaging 6 installs per month lmao

We have had a bad release a few weeks ago and my task is to propose a better flow. We just had a meeting and now I'm writing a document for it.

All I can think of them the big boss saying "looks excellent" and then default back to the old way in less than 3 weeks from now.

My work fired their marketing department half a year ago and the new marketing guy still has yet to start.

But we released one week ago their first AI-generated ad, there are multiple things wrong:
- The logo of our company is wrong
- Our company colours are wrong
- Mixing of English and our (different) language
- Has "screenshots" of our application but our application does not look like that
- AI generated faces that look like PS1 graphics
- Multiple typos
- The font for our company name is wrong

And yet, they decided to publish it. That is maybe 1 hour of time to fix all mistakes if you are experienced in Photoshop but they can't be bothered lol.

My manager is back from paternity leave and immediately got 4 hours of meetings :&

Heard some news/rumorus that we missed our quarterly goal slightly. It was first set to 450k then our accountant said it was not realistic at all and was lowered to 350k....

Our number was just around 100k. We only completed 28.6% of our quarterly goal :DDDDDD

We got a new marketing guy... Number 5 in 4 years. My colleague and I are betting if he will last half a year or not :D

if you make a PR, do you sometimes just fix the minor error yourself and push it and then approve it?

for example: like a typo in a variable or a wrong translation

Got this message from my CEO: "When are we going to have a perfect working version? 100% sure without bugs? "

How do I even respond to this? "We are wondering the same"?

(for context, he requested an early alpha build of a certain feature)

My workplace just lost a contract that would bring us a €20000 revenue because the CEO refused to spend €5.

CEO is blaming a frontend bug for a backend outage. The server simply did not scale with new active clients ))))))

Managers decided that the support contract with one of our most important third party servers is not worth the money.

Take a guess which server caused an outage for all customers twice already :D

We just had a server outage this morning and my colleague was heading to the office. He was already in a meeting on his phone and got stopped by the police for calling while driving.

He got a fine, lost his driving license for 2 weeks and has to go police court for it. That's an expensive server outage for him

A new deployment is planned tomorrow. Fourth try is the charm 🙃

We rolled out yesterday a new update out to our Desktop application. The goal was to do it last weekend but we failed for reasons. The update is a success and now we (devs, project manager, QA, COO, support) got an angry email from our CEO, he mentioned:
- He is very disappointed in the whole process
- we released it without a coordinated marketing campaign
- That the devs should have communicated to the customers
- That the devs should have communicated internally more
- That support is getting a lot of new support tickets. I asked support, they counted 0 for this product in the last 7 days.
- Asked us to self-reflect how we can improve.

My project manager (who is currently on paternity leave) responded with an angry email to defend the dev team and pointed out that the CEO fired the marketing guy (again). The deadline is here for months, that the CEO literally ran the update locally and sold the update to new customers. He also called the CEO "lack of self awareness" and "not understanding the update process" and "disappointed in this approach". He also said that he asked the developers not to respond to the email.

Love me some drama between higher-ups

For some reason, our CEO decides on the designs. I have send some designs to him on Wednesday last week. On Friday, he finally approved the designs (with a minor tweak) at 16:57.

On Monday at 14:00, I had a meeting with him and he was mad that the full feature was not finished and in production.

What did he expect? 😐

For context, Friday we had a deadline to get multiple products updated for a deployments on Saturday. That went to the shitter and we spend hours trying to fix it till the middle of the night and decided to roll back. Now we were fixing the shitshow that it was and he is still mad

(those deadlines that friday were barely feasible and we failed)

Our scrum master planned a 1-on-1 to go over everyones tasks when he is off for 20 days (paternity leave) one day before his wife is expected to give birth

Now he is surprised this plan fell through for obvious reasons

4 deadlines for today, 0 done so far and 4 hours meetings. Kill me

My workplace remains so retarded.

Half our colleagues are from abroad and do not speak our native language. All our customers are from our country and we are trying to implement transcription and summaries for them. The big AI models struggles with our language.

The devs who are assigned to this project do not speak our language. So they cannot verify if the results are correct.

My project manager fails to see a problem for this :D