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Interviewer: "I checked your Github, your side projects look very interesting! Tell me about your other hobbies."
Me: "other hobbies?"11 -
*In a team meeting*
Me: *happily jotting down notes in markdown*
Other guy: "Dude what are you doing? Pay attention."
Me: "Umm... I'm taking notes?"
Other guy: "But why does your MS Word have black background?"
Me (a bit lost): "Umm... That's not Word. That's my text editor."
Other guy: "Alright... But how do you convert your notes into Word then?"
Me: "... I don't."
Other guy: *stares at me*
Me: * stare back*
It was a nice conversation.12 -
Me: *programming*
Team: *furiously discussing something outside of my expertise*
Me: *programming*
Team: *finally acknowledging my existance* "Yeah, dude. We are going to delete te project and start over because we can't fix this issue [which we have never ever discussed with you]."
Me: "What, that's stupid."
Team: "Well, do you have any bright ideas to fix it?"
Me: "Gimme until tomorrow."
Me: *programming*
Team: *doing absolutly nothing*
Me: "I fixed it!"
Team: "Why didn't you do that a week ago?"
Me: "You didn't ask..."
And so goes te story of how i was almost killed by an angry mob.13 -
I think CS education is getting weaker and weaker every year.
Since they released CS GO, CS seems to be overtaken by little cry kiddies who put out insults like an AK on speed.
I wish CS education was like when CS 1.6 came out.
Those were great years to learn gungames on The Simpsons maps and you were actually able to land headshots by skill and not just utter luck.19 -
Fucking useless languages that compile into other languages but provide no real benefit other than some trendy syntax crap.14
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Interviewer: "I'll checked your GitHub, your side projects looks very interesting! Tell me about your other hobbies. "
Me:"Other hobbies? "8 -
Other people when they read SO:
________________
( Significant other )
————————— o
º
º
Me when I read SO:
_______________
( Stack overflow )
———————— o
º
º9 -
-Dev support group-
Me: Hello, my name is div.
Other Devs: Hello, div.
Me: Its been 3 days since I last coded...
Other Devs: 😲7 -
(Monday)
Me: I'm gonna be gone the next few days and you take care of this? I have these notes if you have questions.
Dev: Sure.
(Friday)
Me: Did you take care of it?
Dev: I had a question.
Me: Okay, did you check the notes.
Dev: They didn't address my question. (Proceeds to ask question)
Me: Let me show you my notes where I answered it.
Dev: Oh sorry.....3 -
Dad thinks i sleep all day and always tells me to get a job.
Mom doesn't know nothing about what i do
Wife thinks I'm talking to other women and have a fucking magic money tree when bills need to be paid.
Wife's grandparents think I'm a lazy piece of shit but ask me to fix their fucking tvs.
Mother-in-law: knows i make money working on the computer but not how.14 -
SELECT * FROM VISA_CARDS
...yes, every bit as bad as you imagine
(and yes, there were other tables for other card providers. Insult to injury... in like.. a fractal of mistakes)4 -
Who the fuck came up with the idea of using indentation instead of braces? I wasted 5 fucking hours of my life tracing a bug which eventually came down to incorrect indentation of a return statement which pushed it inside the loop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FML
And the PR has already been merged into master! How will I face everyone on Monday!16 -
Other dev: “hey can you trying running (xyz) in your terminal?”
“Sure. Will it break my code?”
Other dev: “probably”
😰1 -
Turned in my two weeks yesterday. Taking a role at a company with more than one programmer. Here's hoping for new friendships and shared knowledge. :)2
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Me: asking about a problem in javascript
Other: do u use a framework?
me: yes
other: which one?
me: vue
other: i would use angular because this and that
me in my head: okey thanks but its not a problem with the framework lol
pls stop this. react, angular, vue are all doing the same10 -
Due to inspiration of giving up with windows being slow (performance wise) always connecting to MS severs (I have slow internet) so it’s noticeable when I can download quicker on a raspberry pi then on a laptop - both over wifi 🤷♂️
And burning a fucking boot DVD for Ubuntu takes 3 fucking DVDs at 2.4x speed - before getting a successful boot disk 😞
I think it’s time to swap out this hdd and go to the dark side!12 -
For Fuck's sake never name your variables $a $b or $c. What the fuck I thought that's like the first thing they teach in whichever bush you learnt how to code at!!!!!!8
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My friend and I were calling each other programming languages trying to degrade each other based on the cons of a language... Then he called me PHP 😢😢12
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See, static typing? that shit is for putos. You think you're so cool with your advanced intellisense being able to tell you "yo....dat shit ain't the type you think it is" or your compiler telling you "yo dumbass, you fucked this parameter up in here, you are doing <x> when in reality you should be doing #@$@#$@!<X at line !@#@#$#>"
pfffft static typing. Such a pansy ass thing to worry about.
Picture us, working outside of the safety net of static typing, as jungle explorers, walking slowly, with a machete in hand and our other hand clutched tightly at our hip pistol, not knowing what to shoot at, but eagerly prepared for when shit fucks up because whatever the fuck you did was not properly safeguarded by a compiler to tell you that you fucked up, even if the compiler message is unintelligible (looking at you C and C++)
We is men here, we is brave retarded adventurers.
As our sanity blips into oblivion and we look at our code that has no sort of type checking expecting our shitty intellisense extensions to protect us....
Edit: if you can't understand the sarcasm in here and the plea for sanity then you are obviously a retard and have no place in the world of development21 -
brain: ABSTRACTION ABSTRACTION ABSTRACTION too much ABSTRACTION!
me: jeez calm down a lil i just deployed a boilerplate ember web app with cli tools with next to nothing amount of 'my' code.
b: YES U SUCKER THAT'S WHAT WENT WRONG U DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THE LIL STUFF THAT HAPPENS BEHIND THE SCENES THE FUCK MAN U CALL YOURSELF A CS STUDENT YOU CAN'T EVEN WRITE A COMPILER YET
m: sooo remember when we were studying logic gates and binary conversions and you sigkilled all my threads cuz it was 'boring'?
b: why yes why do you ask
m: WELL that's where we'll end up again if you don't stop nagging me about going down. Trust me, I KNOW how to starve you and you'll beg me to use Python again. You start making advanced data structures in C and the next thing you know you're writing assembly code 'just for fun'.
I have a hackathon coming right up and I have to use a framework or my team loses the advantage. Are we good?
b: well if you put it that way...BUT AFTER THAT YOU'RE TAKING ME TO AN ALGORITHM SESSION
m: *eerily stares at the dusty book in the corner*
you... have a deal3 -
Crazy code.
You know when you come across some code, where you think: “I kinda see what you were going for, but it’s still hella dumb though...” right?
Currently doing some work on an F# backend, and the dev clearly knew enough of the language, but their code makes me question a lot.
The problem is simple: use a third party tool to generate images of each page in a pdf.
Said tool supports:
1. Querying the number of pages
2. Getting all pages as separate images in a single invocation
Can you guess how the dev solved it?
They’ve recursively incremented a page number, called the external tool to grab the image of that page.
“But how does it know when it’s run out of pages?” I hear you ask.
Simple. Catch the inevitable exception, and check against a hardcoded string literal to see whether it says “must be before the end of the document”.
I shit you not.
I nearly had an actual seizure when I was debugging some semi-related code and ended up in this wonderland of fuckery.
The recursion and pattern matching was flawless though, yet the tool’s website clearly states the supported functionality.
The whole thing feels like they tried to do it the right way, but couldn’t be bothered / couldn’t get it right, so they ended up creating this insane bit of madness.5 -
Did you guys know that SO stands for 'Significant Other' on other social platforms?!???
Filthy muggles.11 -
Yepp.. The older you get, the faster the time flies by. Remember how long days used to be when you were 10? How much you used to do then? And now? You barely skim through your emails and it's already lunch time.. And soon after that it's already time to go home, go to sleep. And the next day is the same. Round robin, round robin... And when you think that the pooft-you're-gone moment is approaching faster and faster every year, you wonder what are you leaving behind, to remember you by.. A few dev projects that will drown to oblivion a few years after you're out, a few modules in other projects that will live longer but your code lines will soon be overwritten and forgotten in git's history, where noone ever scrolls to. Your own projects you have never released. Your fam who will remember you until their grandchildren - after that older generations are forgotten...
What is it that will keep people saying your name after you're gone? What significant have you given to the life?19 -
Positive compliments : You really should try other jobs man
Negative compliments : You should also try other jobs man3 -
Motivating and helping each other by forming small teams/pairs of devs who look after each other. No one likes to code alone14
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Used teamviewer to login to my other system to ssh into my other system to reboot cz didn't want to walk 5 steps and press the button.1
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Hello devRanters. I'm new to this community but I've already started feeling comfortable here. You guys are great!
I don't understand why there are more rants about front end developers. I hardly see any rant by a system developer or a security analyst.10 -
It sucks when another developer starts shit with you. Like you should be working & helping each other out but instead you just compete and cuss each other out.3
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You know what's better then the Twilight love story (or any love story for that matter)?
The contract between an Indian client and an Indian Vendor. It's the perfect marriage!
Both hate each other, can't stop fucking each other, one pays money to the other and the other gives head to one, the underlings are always caught between who should be followed and both of them DONT LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE!
happy married life, buggers.4 -
When you snap at the other Developer because you SWEAR your bug fix push corrected the issue, to then be put back in your place...realizing the other Developer was right...humble yourself4
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Functional programming vs object oriented programming.
I don't believe one can replace the other I just want to know some other people's opinions.40 -
I got deaf on one ear and semi-deaf on another after bathing and it lasts for two days.
I am going to doctor tomorrow. Wish me luck it's just some minor bug in my ears...6 -
A messaging/social media platform that requires people to share a random code with each other before following/mesaaging each other15
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That feeling of betrayal when you finally find a proper, well written and well formatted article/tutorial about a framework (or anything you are learning), only to find out it is "Part 1" and no other parts were ever written...
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Doing my internship now, and seems like I need to get used to naming files and other things properly again. No more 'that thing','stuff','important shit','that other thing' etc file names1
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When i started uni almost 2 years ago i made a bet with myself to finish the first year without drinking even one single cup of coffee.
Right now i have realized that i almost finished my second and i drank 5-6 cups in all my life.7 -
I've just found workplace stack exchange, feel like it's the compliment to devRant. Some posts from managers with stupid attitudes, getting told off. Nice to see.
eg: https://workplace.stackexchange.com/...5 -
Just when I want to get inspirations for my personal site by looking at other websites by devranters the famous website of @alice is down :(
Any other websites I should check out as example?8 -
Stackoverflow started 8 years ago.
Is there no hope for us "noobs" to ever see the 'k' at the end of our points?
All these 100K + users and i'm over here rejoicing in the 48 points that I was able to muster up with some effort T-T
7 -
what the fuck is up with devs who always send screenshots of code and/or log files? In Slack, which has great functionality for formatting text snippets in a variety of languages and data types?! screenshots of code are really a pet peeve lately. You can't copy the text or click on any urls or do *anything* with a fucking screenshot. so dumb.6
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You see business majors who don't know each other and are all talking to each other, but then you see computer science majors ...2
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When your client tells you "it should just be like the other thing you did" and it turns out that it is completely different from the other thing you did in every possible way.2
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I feel compelled to share this - I think every programmer needs to read this.
I know I'm right but I'm not in the mood to validate my argument, that is a privilege I reserve exclusively for real arguments - usually containing foreign user input in dire need of sanitization -which kinda sucks...
so instead here is a morsel and a link, enjoy the read.
https://medium.com/@caspervonb/...
3 -
Spam assassin kills most of the spam I get before I see it. It works pretty well. However, I started getting a fuck ton of spam from some asshole on a Turkey server. You cannot forward spam to the gov anymore so what to do (They use a honeypot. Apparently it doesn't catch everything.)? Well I got the abuse email account address for the server. Then I went into my servers spam filter for the email address I am having issues with. Then I redirect the email to this abuse email address. Then I delete it from the server. This makes it so my email client never sees the message and I automagically notify the abuse account. If the abuse account is owned by the spammer then he is just filling up his own server with shit.
Anybody else have fun or interesting ways with dealing with spam the regular filters don't catch?3 -
So, I just swatted a huge bug out of the air using my work iPad. Because it was the closest thing handy. I'm pretty sure that's not why they bought me the thing...2
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Firefox by far :)
At least as a program I start up my self.
I do use a fair number if other to but no other comes close.1 -
Just realized being a developer means fixing bugs that were caused by fixing other bugs that were caused by fixing the other bugs.
3 -
I was just wondering why the flying fuck OxyPlot was rendering an unknown node on my chart for monday when I only queued my sql db for a single Tuesday.
Noticed it was an auto generated node, which had the right time, status, everything.
I looked up my code and found out that the date somehow bugged out, and if c# isn't sure what to do with an empty date it initializes a date on 1.1.0001
And what do you know. Appearantly thats a Monday.
I broke my head way harder over this than I should have, assuming the worst possible bugs in the render engine. fml -
> # Changelog
>
> ## x.y.z
>
> - Added something
> - Fixed something
> - Other changes
'Other changes'?! What other changes! Either tell me what they are or don't even add it, considering usually not every little thing is listed in the first place..1 -
I want to keep working on my other project, but work and my other project keeps distracting me....1
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Any indonesian here ? i've seen other have meet up with other devranters, maybe we can arrange one ?7
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Coworker renamed constants in repo for her own code and left for 3 weeks... Even told me she replaced and fixed everything!
Unfortunately the renaming got together with a different functionality and have to rework every part where it's used next week...
Just one out of many problems at my work...
Fucking sucks...1 -
Client: Can you create a button that does 3 other things so it's easier on us?
Me: But won't that defeat the purpose of -
Client: You know what... make it 5 other things. -
Me: I tried to catch this bug for two days
Other: Let me show
5 seconds later...
Other: Oh, you just used the wrong string type
Me: ... -
What is the social networking programmers use to communicate.
Hey guys.
So what program do you guys use to communicate? Something that I can drop here and not behing spammed. Time to start creating my own network arround you guys... You know, smart people.11 -
have job other from other company (same money, different stack) Magento vs Laravel... I hate Magento more then Magento 1.9 and love Laravel... should I take a risk?1
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Ah, the strange world in which a fresh Windows 10 install boots up roughly twice as fast as a fresh Arch-Deepin on the same laptop. Also noticed the same behaviour with Arch-GNOME 3. Guess I have to dive into configs to get the boot time down.1
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*use windows, ms office, vsc, skype probably code in ts, ... *
*rant about microsoft buying github*
I'm not a microsoft fan either, but thats the sad truth.1 -
Got my Stress Ball in the mail the other day. It now joins the other items living on my desk at work. :-)
3 -
For some reason, I cannot use my computer for anything other than programming anymore. Whenever I turn the lid on, I can either write code or stare at the screen indefinitely. No other option!3
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DevRant should have a questions and awenser in the more tab so when people have question about DevRant, jobs and other things other people could awenser, I belive that is a good way from keeping rants and memes in a place and Q&A in other place2
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The default font was different between development and production. The default font was never selected for the application. It has been this way for years. I found and fixed this. Now a huge amount of UI issues are just gone. People are like "Why was this never set?" Internally I am saying "Because they got lucky and never thought about it in the past."
Other people's code...3 -
Was looking to do a game collaboration as I can't build most of the ideas I have on my own and as always get stuck with people not being as knowledgeable and not making anything of people who are knowledgeable but look at other devs like scum, and then artists are never just willing to jump on board to make a game with 1 programmer... UGH!
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So I call my sig other on the phone. At the start of the conversation I, for fun, make the sound of a goat.
me: ba a a a
other: really?
me: What?
other: horny old goat?
me: FFS, Freudian Farm Sounds...1 -
Choose my editor/ide based purely on other people's opinion.
It started when I knew literally nothing about programming. It got better over time, but I still tend to trust other people's opinion before mine1 -
My in-house "office". A normal room, but with 2 desks. One for my monitors + laptop and the other one for other electronic stuff. It's a very quiet room :)
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You explain something exactly. Write extra documentation and even do tutorials and videos for the approach.
And then others come along and think they want to do it completely different. And only because the colleague before them has already done so. -
Alright my fellow devs and other tech related/adjacent people, we can easily glean from your rants and profiles what you do while developing. But I want to get to know the person behind the screen. After all we aren't our jobs.
So, outside of software development and related activities, what do you do in your spare time?7 -
Prompt in which you have friends and you can sort them by favorit language or other things.
You can invite friends and they got to confirmanf then you have friendship with the other guy/girl/other.
I am sorry that this is not for weekly rant but for devRant.😅3 -
I would have liked to complete a task this week, however the one thing I've been working on has it's requirements changed every time I finish.
I get that things change, but all of this extra logic is far too complex for the issue at hand, and I don't have time to do other assigned things due to how laborious and intensive testing for this part of the application is. -
I can't get a good dev's opinion in any other place other than here. So, are macs really overpriced?8
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!rant
How do you get to learn something new? By doing tutorials on YT, Udemy? Going directly to the documentation of the tool/language..etc ? Reading books ? And to practice what you've learned what do you do? Do you build something that you've previously done in another language or look for ideas or how is it? Does anybody know about a "list" of "programs" that can be developed to practice a language knowledge? Thanks :P3 -
Just want to know how many other game developers there are on here...
Got an idea I want to get other Devs opinions on but would love to here some tips and opinions from other game devs!20 -
Found a very good description of programmers. We do not know each other yet we help each other. There is always someone who is there to help you. Proud to be a programmer.
2 -
Sometimes I am wondering... are there other almost-18-year-olds who want to write a parser generator? 🤔
What are other teens working with?8 -
If I get a nice capture/tuner card, do I need any other strong specs in its computer, other than RAM, to set up a myth box?
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>add new feature, push to seperate branch
>ask other dev to have a look at code
>other dev completely rewrites the feature and pushes directly to master
please1 -
The moment you are the villain because you are doing some tasks with the PM , unable to answer the other one and other one thinks you are arrogant .
Icing in the cake , the PM you are working with says you are busy on some other project and he will let you know
:/ -
I always feel python3 and pip3 are enemy of pip and python. My Mac always is in conflict of each other... Its feels like they are trying to prove each other3
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Neever give up on a project if you think you cant do it try learning the skills needed to do it, watch tutorials look at other projects, well i say never give up but if u seriously cant do it due to other issues other then skills well the. dont do it BUT NEVER DELETE THE PROJECT THE CODE CAN BE VERY IMPORTANT OR GOOD FOR OTHER THINGS YOU MIGHT NEED SIMILAR CODE FOR
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Daaamn.. Dagger.io is actually quite cool. Spent 2 days learning and building a dagger module for my project's ci and I've gotta tell ya - I'm lovin' it!
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Do you ever end up in this situation where both you and the other person end up thinking the other person's idea is better and now you can start discussing again?
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I saw few rants about "working in a box". Isn't that legacy technique and we all are now working in open space?I have auto adjusting chair that costs more than my month salary, desk which raises when I push button, console rooms etc etc
Still some thinks that we are slaves of companies working 'in the boxes '. If you are on devrant and you agree with this kind of jokes I must say that you have chosen a bad place to work ;( -
New guy likes to both approve and merge other people's pull requests have he approves them. Please don't merge other people's pull/merge requests. Other team members may have comments too! The person who created it should merge it.1
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I sometimes forget all the other “console.log()”s and I log API responses and other sensitive junk, :/
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!rant
Someone here use FreeBSD at home or work?
I'm very interested and right now i'm doing some test on a VM. It remember me Arch Linux and Gentoo together1 -
Emacs is the reason why I screw my own agenda for Saturday, but sweet baby Jesus the mode-line now looks H O T for sure1
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I have a long question for developers out there... bear with me.
I'm currently learning and devoting all my time towarda Java and have been for the past two years although it's moving slow because of summer courses. The catch to this is, I'm not sure what I'm learning it for. How do I implement this code, I'm not sure what to do with it. The only project I plan on doing is a discord server management bot... besides that, I'm blank... Is java used in web development? What exactly should I be using it for..?
I'm planning on learning javascript, php, mySQL, and CSS I pretty much have down but I don't know what to use them for. Besides how I want to script for the game Hackmud which is in javascript.
I'll put it into simpler terms... I love java and I'm looking forward to mastering it but I don't know what to use it for. I want to use it on my free time and all but use it for what? One more thing: what other languages go hand in hand with java? Sorry if it's confusing lol.3 -
When other people sleep, I work, when other people work, I sleep. Best social life. Just work and sleep.
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So when someone chooses the type of rant as "devrant", are they thinking the other rant types will end up on some other website?
Maybe the rant type should say: "devrant (meta)"4 -
> I have this problem.
> I go Ask someone else.
> Other: Oh just use this, something like "XYZ"
> Me: trying to find "XYZ"
> "XYZ" is not there...
> Found "XYZ" somewhere else.
> "XYZ" does not work..
> Ask someone else again.
> Other: Oh Just use "XYZ"
> Me: But it does not work....
> Other: Oh then you use "YZX"
> Me trying to use "YZX"
> it doesn't work.....1 -
Been wondering this, but other than @dfox and @trogus, are there any other devs on here that know that they know each other irl?11
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The biggest distraction is every other bloody department in the organisation, other than development.
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sigh other than being completely goddamn exhausted the other aspect of working on anything brainy is sometimes you have to have fun. i haven't been having any. so... dawn of war time :)
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We are all a little .. odd aren't we ... With all our quirks...thou that might be because other people are just ... Sooooo stupid
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Fb messenger has a chat-head feature which enables user to use other app like youtube while using messenger. Why other apps don't have this kind of feature?3
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(sort of rant but not totally)
so I am using Directus for headless cms and I'm always looking around for other options such as Contentful, but the problem with Contentful is that it is hella expensive in my opinion (249$/month at least after you exceed the free tier with limited capabilities)
So the real question is, do you guys know of any other Headless CMS?
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