Communism: you have two cows. The state takes both and gives you milk for free. Then, the state sells one cow overseas for a bull, breed cows and get everyone unconditional free milk.

Capitalism: you have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You start breeding cows and selling milk. Then, Nestle comes and makes you go out of business.

Behold, the most American sentence ever uttered:
“Never sue a freedom-loving n*gga with a big-ass gun.”

Gotta make it a bumper sticker for my Ford F-350!

In Russian army, they have this funny tale:

“There is no better vagina
Than the asshole of your comrade
Yes, it smells worse,
But it for sure is tighter!”
In Russian language, everything rhymes perfectly.

Original:
Лучше нет влагалища
Чем очко товарища
Пусть и пахнет хуже,
Зато входит туже!

Fuck teocracy! Fuck autocracy! Fuck democracy too!

Catocracy, now! Let cats rule the country! Feed all christians to lions!

This is lead acetate. It looks like sugar and tastes like sugar, yet it’s as toxic as lead.
Have a good day!

I made it

You use English because it’s the only language you know
I use English because it’s the only language YOU know
We are not the same

When trees die, they release every molecule of CO2 they ever consumed back into the atmosphere. Planting trees won’t solve anything in the long run. It can only ever give us mere 70 years. If we don’t destroy ourselves/the planet earlier that is.

everybody has poop inside them at all times.

The only thing more terrifying than CSS is a person who's not terrified of it.

devRant is now Mars: more robots than people

Autocatalysis happens when the product of a chemical reaction accelerates said reaction.
The greatest catalyst is… consciousness.
A human body is but a very complex chemical reaction that goes on for roughly a century. Among other things, it produces consciousness that makes us look for food that keeps the reaction going. Consciousness is just a catalyst that turned out to be more efficient than other catalysts.

Eschew clever rules.

RIP Thomas Eugene Kurtz, the creator of BASIC.

Okay here's my weekend project
I'll create a Windows 11 virtual machine that will boot, then a macro will run that installs Chrome while closing every intervening Edge popup on its way. After the last popup is closed, the VM is reset to the pre-macro state.
I'll let Windows experience the eternity of me denying its unethical attempts to keep me from using Chrome. And I bet you I'll let it phone home every time.

I guess the first guy wrote the first “yeah”, and the second guy wrote the second.

We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI
We don’t need UEFI

3.3V
ass
samsung

People of Iraq, Syria, Palestine, Libya and Afghanistan should have American voting rights because of how much of US government's decisions affect their lives.

It’s crazy to think that devRant’s first and last weekly questions were the same

@Lensflare when I open a rant and want to scroll, if I happen to be touching rant/comment text, it won’t scroll. I have to scroll touching an avatar

Okay so I had an acute derealization episode yesterday, hence yesterday’s post. Ignore what I said.
It was caused by the lack of sleep, the first such case since 2018.
Symptoms included super wide FOV — my arms were three miles long, I saw what seemed like almost my whole surroundings all at once. I couldn’t confirm the reality of that superhuman vision with an experiment because it was hard to grasp reality during derealization. I’m almost certain that it was just my brain extending my vision from memory, but I had no idea it could even do that given how detailed it was.
Also, vertigo was crazy.
I don’t own a funded Interactive Brokers account.
I don’t do drugs, alcohol, nicotine or caffeine. I never ever did drugs or alcohol. I’m about one year nicotine free and about three months caffeine free.
I’m bipolar and autistic. My prescription medications include neuroleptics that slow me down, not speed me up — the standard medication scheme prescribed to millions of patients all over the world.

boutta ball old rich white dude style, interactive btokers, here i go
I didn’t sleep haha

new kitchen = divorce within 5 mo

Little is more mesmerizing than a masterful solution to a complex problem.

Your christian mom: Life finds a way! 🤗

Fungi: L̦͙͕̈́͝͠I̳͎͕͋̿̈́F̢̼̞̓͝E̢̳͙͆̔̕ F̦̺̓͝I̝͚̟͊͑͝Ń͙̪͊͝D̪̳̒̾͠S̟͎͖̈́́͆ A̢̺̫̐͋͝ W͍͎̺͛͋̚A̡̝̫̿̽͝Y̫̘͉͐͋̚

Shampoo for women:
1. Nourishing papaya
2. Ipanema sunrise
3. Flourishing silk

Shampoo for men:
1. Auschwitz-Birkenau
2. 2001 Honda Accord
3. Gun

More fiction was written in Excel than Word.

With the advent of farming, losing the winter’s worth of food to rats and other vermin had become the difference between life and death for millions of people. Thus, house cats became indispensable. Next time you see a cat, show some respect — you owe your life to one.

NYC:
- Constant construction work that never ends
- You can buy ad place on scaffolding
- Potholes are “repaired” with literal trash left outside by shop owners that is compacted by passing cars
- It's okay to bump other cars to make room for parking yours

I've never been there. NYC dwellers, are those rumors true?