My boss just revised my report and sent it back with new file names. Memes have officially infiltrated the workplace.

Where to get help on fixing a bug:
1.Google
2.Stack Overflow
.
.
.
8479.Your coworker who is coding with his earphones on.

My new (DIY) desktop/wordspace.

First day at my first workplace as a dev. waiting for my laptop to load up, nothing happens, black screen. waiting sitting patiently and silently for approx. 20 minutes.

the monitor was off.

My workplace is relatively safe in case of a zombie apocalypse: no brains

Don't get too comfortable.

If your workplace isn't much of a learning environment, it's either time to learn on your own time or leave that workplace.

Don't be arrogant with those who are less tech savy. If your boss/cowoker doesn't understand, at least give them them a chance ☺.

Be kind to new developers who make mistakes; you were in their shoes once.

Realize there's more to life than just designing and implementing software. Don't let other areas of your life suffer just because you're a godly developer.

Let's take a moment to appreciate the Wi-Fi at my workplace

toxic workplace; leaving

I haven't wanted to write this rant. I haven't even wanted to talk to anyone (save my gf, ofc). I've just been silently fuming.

I wrote a much longer rant going into far too much detail, but none of that is relevant, so I deleted it and wrote this shorter (believe it or not) version instead. And then added in more details because details.

------

On Tuesday, as every Tuesday, I had a conference call with the rest of the company. For various, mostly stupid reasons, the boss yelled at and insulted me for twenty minutes straight in front of everyone, telling me how i'm disorganized, forgetful, how can't manage my time, can't manage myself let alone others, how I don't have my priorities straight, etc. He told the sales team to get off the call, and then proceeded to yell and chew at me for another twenty minutes in front of the frontend contractor about basically the same things. The call was 53 minutes, and he spent 40 minutes of it telling me how terrible I've been. No exaggeration, no spin. The issues? I didn't respond to an email (it got lost in my ever-filling inbox), and I didn't push a very minor update last week (untested and straight to prod, ofc). (Side note: he's yelled at me for ~15 minutes before for being horribly disorganized and unable to keep up on Trello -- because I had a single card in the wrong column. One card, out of 60+ over two boards. Never mind that most have time estimates, project tags, details, linked to cards on his boards, columns for project/qa/released, labels for deferred, released to / rejected from qa, finished, in production, are ordered by priority, .... Yep. I'm totes disorganized.)

Anyway, I spent most of conference call writing "Go fuck yourself," "Choke on a cat and die asshole," "Shit code, low pay, and broken promises. what a prize position," etc. or flipping him off under the camera on our conference-turn-video-call (switched due to connection issues, because ofc video is more stable than audio-only in his mind).

I'm just.
so, so done.

I did nothing the rest of the day on Tuesday, and basically just played games on Wednesday. I did one small ticket -- a cert replacement since that was to expire the next day -- but the rest was just playing CrossCode. (fun game, fyi; totally recommend.)

Today? It's 3:30pm and I can't be bothered to do anything. I have an "urgent" project to finish by Monday, literally "to give [random third party sales guy] a small win". Total actual wording. I was to drop all other tasks (even the expiring cert lol) and give this guy his small win. fucking whatever. But the project deals with decent code -- it's a minor extension to the first project I did for the company (see my much earlier rants), back when I was actually applying myself and learning something (everything) new, enjoying myself, and architecting+writing my own code. So I might actually do the project, but It's been two days and I haven't even opened single file yet.

But yeah. This place is total and complete shit. Dealing with the asshole reminds me of dealing with my parents while growing up, and that's a subject I don't want to broach -- far too many toxic memories.

So, I'm quitting as soon as I find something new.
and with luck, this will be before assface hires my replacement-to-be, and who will hopefully quit as soon as s/he sees the abysmal codebase. With even more luck, the asshole king himself will get to watch his company die due to horrible mismanagement. (though ofc he'll never attribute it to himself. whatever.)

I just never want to see or think about him again.
(nor this fetid landfill of a codebase. bleh.)

With luck, this will be one of my last rants about this toxic waste dump and its king of the pile.
Fourty fucking minutes, what the fuck.

When your workplace has a 3d Printer.
The raptor army grows, harhar.

My set up at work.
For this post I want to thank Microsoft for providing me some free time

The IT Throne 💻😂😂

I thought I was really good at debugging. Then I met this legend in my workplace. And he was like...

So I had a job interview and got offered the job on the spot, then I went back to my manager at my current workplace to raise an issue about me being underpaid for this months wages and this is how the conversation went.

Enjoy.

I gor a problem with my gf, and she asked for space, then i got a new problem in my workplace, i want to kill my boss and my senior mothercuker! FUCK THIS!!!

Dare you speak the Truth!

Too much noise in my workplace, can't focus on my code,
bought 300 bucks noise cancelling headphones,
best money i've spent

Oh, just found a gift card from @Root's workplace

!rant

It's been a while since I posted here. My previous workplace was a 101 on how to burn out people.

But now I am working at a place where:

- People are 0 toxic.

- Sprints follow the premise "under promise, over deliver."

- I was having trouble sleeping (for reasons) a couple of months ago, and my boss literally told me, "If you can't sleep at night, take a few days, or if you can fall asleep in the morning, just sleep in the morning until you manage to do otherwise. Talk with your team and rearrange the meetings if you have and rest. "

- All pieces of the company (sales, narketing, product, data, devs) have a clean roadmap.

- Product and bizz understand when something can't be done on the next sprint and why sometimes some features are delayed.

- They pay well, even raising the pay twice to account for inflation.

- Full remote, If I want to go to the office, Its my choice.

I need to keep this job no matter what!

Me: Boss, your new project is ready, we've tested the technical aspect but we're waiting on your approval before deploying, will you test it?
Boss: yeah sure, I'll test it in 5

*2 weeks later*

Boss: why isn't that project deployed yet?
Me: you haven't tested it, and we haven't gotten approval
Boss: oh right, I'll go test it right now!

*2 weeks later*

Boss: I NEED that project to go live RIGHT THIS MOMENT!!!
Me: sure, have you tested it yet?
Boss: nope, but I need it
Me: well, I'll put it live, but me and my colleagues are shifting responsibility to you, since you haven't tested it. Are you sure?
Boss: yeah, yeah whatever...

*put product online*

*2 days later*

Angry call from boss, bugs have been found, tell him that he approved the state of the product and that the bugs will go on the to-do list...

Boss is extremely pissed, but recognized his mistake...

Now, the boss actually tests everything thoroughly at the moment we tell him to! No more bugs, complaints, and I got a raise!

When you can't work because the company forgot to renew your Visual Studio license.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Every manager, if you tell them that we need to upgrade our workplace outdated (anything)

The way how cables are laid in my workplace... \(°Ω°)/

1. Unlimited money on bank account
2. Give me master degree
3. Disable remote desktop as “secure environment” at my workplace

Last week we had a short seminar at work about 'listening skill.'

In that speaker gave an example how 'natural' leaders speak last in the meetings.

From that day we are having entirely silent meetings.

Now management is planning seminar on 'Speaking Up'

Post your workplace!

!Rant

6 mins of walk to my new workplace.
😁

!dev

Just for fun, during meetings I look up “toxic workplace checklist” (and variants) and then score my employer.

So far they’ve scored 80% and higher on all lists except one.

Now that I’ve decided to leave, none of it bothers me anymore. It’s so freeing.

From r/linuxmasterrace (u/KeithKatar)

How many times has this conversation happened at your workplace?

I just answered honestly to an “anonymous” survey of my workplace. If I don’t get laid off in the next 3 months, then I’ll believe it’s truly anonymous.

To my coworker who gets notifications 5 times a minute:

PUT YOUR F**KING PHONE ON SILENT, YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

Jeeze, it's like some people have ZERO workplace etiquette 😡😡😡

Working with php👌

Just learned that my previous workplace hired someone to take over the frontend which was my first big javascript project, and now I have an odd fear for my life.

New workplace setup

My new workplace

Ok, do you sometimes feel like you get treated as search engine? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

My coworker from my previous workplace is messaging me to suggest about good tutorial about a framework that I'm not familiar about.

"Dude, have you heard about Google?"

@Root’s workplace

Somehow wk37: At my workplace you get "caked" if you don't lock your computer. Which actually means that its very likely that someone will write in company wide chat that you will bring cake tomorrow. :)

My family hosts an 100 mile (160km) run once every year for ultra-runners. 11 hours in the first runner has done 105 km. And I'm sitting at this checkpoint logging their times and working on a project. But rain started pouring down and this not so waterproof tent has just become the worst developing workplace I have ever been in because the umbrella ain't big enough for me and the laptop. So I'm soaked and won't be relieved for another 8 hours. The things you do for family.

My wife brought an old and filthy keyboard from her workplace.

This guy is asking the 'real questions'.

I'm on a 17 hour security monitor shift. Sup devRant.

Lets assume my name is Levi Secondname (half of it is correct)

at my last workplace there was a guy with the same name, in the same office, except he was an ios dev, so when i ordered food i always put 'Android Levi' as the name, otherwise it would get mixed up

I work in an unrelated field, and code in my spare time as I'm just starting out. Have to pay tbe bills somehow, amirite?

So my boss has installed cameras "for security", and uses them to monitor staff on a regular basis. A couple months ago he pulled me aside with a piece of paper. My "second written warning" (next step prior to dismissal) however I haven't received any other disciplinary action.

The warning contained 10 points, all of which made reference to observances over the damn cameras.

Please keep in mind -- I have been an overachieving empleyee for over 5 years, and friends with the bosses the whole time. My boss was in my wedding party.

Just a 60 year old teachers desk and some awesome screens....MacBook pro with 3 external for work with a gaming rig when 5.30 rolls around....

New workplace new setup

Do you guys know the feeling you get, when you have to explain your work to a non programmer? An example could be your boss.

It's not always that easy.

So, there is this guy whose arguments on "How Apple is bad" are

1) "while copying files in Finder, you don't see a speed graph (like in Windows)"
2) "MacBooks don't have a Touchscreen"
3) "it's slow"
4) "you can't play games (like GTA V)"
5) "having app menus always on the top of the screen instead of in every window makes no sense"

Arguments on "why Linux is bad":

1) "it's ugly"
2) no gaming (same as point 4 above)
3)... And other biased irrelevant shit

Yet his amazing old Windows 10 computer with the most recent Insider build has only a 65% chance of booting on the first attempt. Almost nothing works properly on his hardware yet he always blames something unrelated to him.
Recently I was having trouble with the workplace wifi (for few minutes I wasn't having full speed like he on the other side of the room had), and his reaction "aha, it's your macOS, never working".

Like wtf. I don't hate Windows or I don't love Linux, but I night hate him for being an arrogant cunt and I want to punch his face.

I never said they were many

Irony is when I just interviewed a person in my current workplace right after giving an interview for a new job in another place

Breakdown of a casual work day:

50%- typing the same commands over and over again in my terminal and watching things build.
10% - lunch, coffee, attending nature’s calls, staring into space enjoying the headphone music.
10% - googling solutions. Only to find that 3 minutes later you’re reading a wikihow page on how to moonwalk.
10% - talking to fellow humans
10% - typing my password to unlock my computer. Mac users exclusive -typing keychain passwords
5% - contemplating what will happen if you suddenly get up and start dancing. Will you start a flash mob?
5% - random thoughts continue...why am I here? Why am I not partnering with Daft Punk to release a single?

Beware of office politics. Take it from me. Beware whom you trust in the workplace. Sometimes you won't detect it and they will prey on your innocence. You thought they're good but really is not. Back stabbers.

Show me your coffee cup. This is mine.

How come everyone has so many cool setups at their workplace and I have a fucking 4 year old laptop that hangs thrice everyday.. FML 😕

I'm a web application developer and work for an abattoir.

On slow days I sometimes I go out and pick a cow, give it name, scan its ear/rfid tag, lookup what farm it came from and how much it cost, then monitor it passing through the various production lines.

Yup.

A couple years ago my now ex-colleagues pranked the lead dev for being nitpicky about the importance of the story post-it wall in the agile process.
His desk was like this the next morning.
Needless to say, he was pissed and we had a good laugh :D

When coding at work is too intense to return the coffee mugs. One more to complete the triangle and call to our the coffee gods.

If you want to talk about politics or religion at work, then you can expect a lot of disinterested nods and “sure”s from me before I leave the room.

I don’t care about your invisible man in the sky, I am here to do work. In fact, your invisible man in the sky can choke on my dick for all I care.

I don’t want to talk about to political cult. I’m here to work. Keep your sheep mentality to yourself.

I’m here to build fucking software, not to take on your insecurities and character flaws.

What do I do at workplace on Sunday?

Well, I learn. Learn!

My company just got a new developer to work on a legacy PHP app.

My boss was boasting about how this guy has more years of professional experience than me ( I have 9 months of experience and he has been working for 4 years on PHP).
Today was one week since he started and I had him set up a REST API, I had to explain to him what json_encode does and how http requests work.

!quiteRant

Since I'm working for 3 years as a parttime software engineer, I started to feel my tendon sheath more and more, sometimes it was hurting so I decided to have a look around on ergonomic keyboards, because in the office we only have these flat, thin wireless keyboards which are the fucking opposite of ergonomic.
They feel like when Eddie Scissorhands has to cut hair of a pile of rocks.
So after some reviews I decided to buy a Kinesis Advantage2 (made in the USA of Americas) eventhough it is quite expensive (379 Kanuckistan Kopeks).

I must say this keyboard is fucking well engineered. You can remap every key in a few keypresses and it is stored on the keyboard itself, no software required... awesome!
The disadvantage for me is, being pretty tall I have very wide shoulders so the 2 keyboard pits are a bit too close together in my oppinion.
The other thing is, you really have to get used to it... I am slowly advancing in speed and it feels great. No pain anymore and I don't have to move my hands at all.

So what are your experiences with keyboards and does your workplace have a good setup for staying healthy?

I unfriended every person at work on my Facebook except 2. I don’t know how I let my social media become so open to folks I work with. 😒

When your school/workplace has got internet:
Lan: 100mb/sec
Wlan: 25 kb/sec

Been a while since I've posted, so I might as well look into getting active again, so hello old friends and the new guys :)

Ever since finishing my bachelors, I've been mostly working frontend with React and Jest testing. Might as well throw in my workplace.

I just replaced 180 lines of Python with 5 lines. I want to smack the author but that would be workplace violence. Funny how if you import some built in libraries you don't have to basically write it's entire functionality and can just use it. I am so ready for this week to be over.

At my workplace we have a code word for users. ID10T.

"I understand you want to write your own code. But that's not professional. If you have reusable tested code just copy and paste it in your project"

I thought he was joking. But I am realising it's the most valuable advice in jy workplace

The CEO of my last workplace asked an employee for his credit card; withdraw significant amount of money as a debt and never paid back. He already owes 2+ months of salary to that employee.

(He owed me money too but I never gave my Macbook back. 🖕)

Full HD 27' monitor 😍😍😍 when you can divide your screen into two halves easily and there's no need to do Alt+tab

I am one of those individuals who can't understand a word someone is saying to me if there is any loud background noise - e.g. other people talking near me. That frustrated me so much in the past, nowadays I just say loudly and politely I can't understand a damn word because someone near me is talking a bit too loudly.

That moment when you enter the elusive state of mind where you're getting serious shit done aannnnnnnddd you're interrupted. FUCK!

Anyone else working from home today? Love that my current workplace has this option.

My previous workplace would have laughed in your face if you even suggested of working at home! Only our bosses were allowed to work from home (surprise surprise?)

This is an old friend of mine, who recently joined the company I work with, 6 months back. And this is what he pinged me with yesterday.

This should be considered harassment at workplace, and trigger social, psychological, emotional, physical and all other sort of distancing.

Favorite place to work on your code:

My bed of course I enjoy lying down on my stomach. But then after over an hour when I get up. I walk like this for the rest of the day:
👴🏿
<((>
\\

Just 4 days in at my first job after recently graduating and I already love my workplace. Everyone in the office is so lively and giggly that you'll hear good jokes and genuine laughs thrown around the place EVERYDAY. People are so friendly and outgoing that I just realised I had made so many friends in a short time despite my introvertedness. To scale; you probably heard or experienced yourself that Filipino communities are generally super friendly and possitive. Well as a Filipino, I can attest that this is on a whole other level.

Damn. Too bad I can't remember all their names tho. 😂

Then there are a ton of perks like free food, gym, etc. And then I met this attractive and fun girl my age who I think and hope is into me, idk. We hang out with her 2 other friends, all four of us being relatively new at the company, separated by a month or so.

This is the best experience I had in such a long time and I'm super excited to see where this leads to.

hmm I just slip into a depressive phase because of my workplace 😐 I can't handle the pressure somehow.. I think I am a bad teamlead, I am not made for this

College student here.
What are the most important skills/assets one should bring to the workplace? As a developer and a colleague.

In the meeting where I gave my notice period, the manager told me I won't find another company that doesn't make you do "donkey work" like us.

Currently hee-hawing from work.

The person who I was closest to in the workplace is leaving and everyone else is a "professional employee" and they make "work safe jokes" that deserves "polite laughter" now everyone looses their shit if I let out the f word. I guess I will have my next free conversation with the goldfish.

Coworker bugs me by telling her dog stories, now I hate dogs.

He took everything home that he took from home to create a workplace form himself... man the office was empty when he was done...

Anyone else here thing their head would explode if they knew something like this at their workplace?

When the manager is a creep!!

So what do you do if your workplace is just a sinkhole but its one of the highest paying sinkholes?

We love each other so much.

The company considers the project manager I work with to be the best. After working with him, I consider him to be everything that is wrong with project management.

This PM injects himself into everything and has a way of completely over-complicating the smallest of things. I will give an example:

We needed to receive around 1000 rows of data from our vendor, process each row, and host an endpoint with the data in json. This was a pretty simple task until the PM got involved and over complicated the shit out of it. He asks me what file format I need to receive the data. I say it doesnt really matter, if the vendor has the data in Excel, I can use that. After an hour long conversation about his concerns using Excel he decides CSV is better. I tell him not a problem for me, CSV works just as good. The PM then has multiple conversations with the Vendor about the specific format he wants it in. Everything seems good. The he calls me and asks how am I going to host the JSON endpoints. I tell him because its static data, I was probably going to simply convert each record into its own file and use `nginx`. He is concerned about how I would process each record into its own file. I then suggest I could use a database that stores the data and have an API endpoint that will retrieve and convert into JSON. He is concerned about the complexities of adding a database and unnecessary overhead of re-processing records every time someone hits the endpoint. No decision is made and two hours are wasted. Next day he tells me he figured out a solution, we should process each record into its own JSON file and host with `nginx`. Literally the first thing I said. I tell him great, I will do that.

Fast forward a few days and its time to receive the payload of 1000 records from the Vendor. I receive the file open it up. While they sent it in CSV format the headers and column order are different. I quietly without telling the PM, adjust my code to fit what I received, ran my unit test to make sure it processed correctly, and outputted each record into its own json file. Job is now done and the project manager gets credit for getting everything to work on the first try.

This is absolutely ridiculous, the PM has an absurd 120 hours to this task! Because of all the meetings, constant interruptions, and changing of his mind, I have 35 hours to this task. In reality the actual time I spent writing code was probably 2-3 hours and all the rest was dealing with this PM's meetings and questions and indecisiveness. From a higher level, he appears to be a great PM because of all the hours he logs but in reality he takes the easiest of tasks and turns them into a nightmare. This project could have easily been worked out between me and vendor in a 30 min conversation but this PM makes it his business to insert himself into everything. And then he has the nerve to complain that he is so overwhelmed with all the stuff going on. It drives me crazy because this inefficacy and unwanted help makes everything he touches turn into a logistical nightmare but yet he is viewed as one of the companies top Project Managers.

Not a dev related rant but more of a workplace rant.

I work in a business center with around 30 small offices. We share the common areas like kitchen, meeting rooms and bathroom.

Today, the cleaning lady told me to use the bathroom on the other side of the workplace because she spread bleach all over the men's restrooms floor.

The reason? Someone peed completely outside the toilet. I understand men can miss a couple of drops but a complete load? It's not the first time it has happened but I can only think he enjoys doing it.

I wish I had my own bathroom...

Today I found this jewel in a PR of a respected dev of my workplace:
if(conditions)
{
return true;
}
else
{
return false;
}

So, I wasn't invited to the caffeine-and-sugar-back-patting orgy (4+ hour meeting, I kid you not), despite the fact I've poured a shitastical amount of time and energy into the stuff they were talking about, and I actually accomplished a lot of useful stuff too (not that they would know, most (including the boss) have shown little to no interest)...

Telling it like it is, which I did at previous occasions, would probably have ruined all the positive energy.

Oh, am I glad I'm quitting (I got a new, better job at a company that seems to know what they're doing).

I speak for many when I say: "I'm tired of arrogant devs".

Someone from my current workplace found out who I am here. There goes my relative anonymous life here.

To all my colleagues, especially in the 'ansible' group chat.

I love you all (most of the time).
Please don't send this to upper management. Thank you.

Found a poster from @Root's workplace

Now, I started in a new position as a dev back in September 2020 - after some starting pleasantries like "how are you", "whats up", "how is your weekend" the working relationship with my office partner soured.

It started with asking me TOTALLY random questions while my headset was on and i was "in the zone". These were questions like: "where should I buy a car", "Why is the virus spreading so fast". I tried to answer politely but made it very clear that when the headset is on my brain and every fibre in my body is inside the code and f---ing it.

Then it escalated, she called me 9.30PM on xmas day and wondered if i needed the API we are using........ Which i most certainly did not.

Now she hates me because I asked to move to another office and was granted that request 15 minutes after asking....

Today is a great day! From now, I am using Windows only for games and at my workplace. For everything else, Debian.

I was bored at my workplace and thought to put curl code to GET a random dad joke on opening terminal everytime

Fuck, now I'm having a migraine

but i have an idea to expand this project even more

Workplace bullying.

Our workplace has so many... But perhaps was this useless guy who claimed to be a member of Mensa, who would wear no shoes into the bathroom, place his lunch beneath the urinal when he peed, prop himself up by leaning on the urinal, and top it off by not washing his hands.

🤢

Me after a good day at work: “Hmmmm… I like it here. I can stay for at least a year”

Me after a bad day at work: “Fuck this. I should apply for jobs elsewhere. Fuck Capitalism”

Question: Do you guys use your own laptop for development or the ones provided at your workplace.

Old joke but we actually stuck this on our office front door.

Manager asked suggestions to make any changes to work culture, because of the overall productivity issue of the team. The culture was so much toxic that no one was ready to speak.

The Sys Admin limited everyone's access on an application through the admin panel. He forgot I have access to the database and I now have full access 😂

The fact that my boss knows I'm on devRant means, that I can't rant about anything, that can be linked to my workplace or current assignments.

my workplace had the idea to create a shared calendar with the birthdays of all colleagues.

Now around 10 months later, this calendar is filled with the birthdays of ex-colleagues... Who thought that was a good idea lol

Project manager ending argument with "it's because we have a shit culture"

Current mood:
That irksome moment when you want to rant and vent about a particular workplace incident but wonder if your coworkers are on devrant too.
And they certainly might figure out no matter how cryptic you are.
*puts mask back on*

Tried pomedoro technique copule of time found that this doesn't work for mE. The only things worked is
1) do 4 hours straight
2) take 1 hour break
3) do another 4 hour straight
works much wetter

all the fun people at my workplace have either been fired or they have left. my workplace is bone dry now

Competent software engineers are in high demand in Belgium. If you are looking for a workplace that treats devs as demi-Gods, relocate now.

Perks available to you are:
- working from home 2-5 days/ week.
- English at the workplace because the northern & southern parts don't speak each other's languages
- terrible rush hour traffic jams allowing you to flexibly choose your schedule as long as there is enough overlap
- pension & hospital insurance
- a company car (electric or fuel)
- ability to get away with any lack of soft skills as long as you're technically strong
- a competitive salary (2-4k/mo), even with almost half of it being eaten by taxes
- limited competition, because there's a sore lack of competent developers

I have no problems if you share the same IQ as a 10 year old.. just not in the workplace.

TL;DR: What's cool about your company or what you'd like to have in your company?

I work at a small company (<50 employee) but it has some time around (I'd say almost 20 years or so).

The thing is, the boss here is cheap or inattentive or outdated or all previous options. This translates into a company stuck in the 90's management ways. Well, maybe late 90's.

So we don't have a lot of 'cool' or nice things here; and I've been thinking of coming up with a proposal of a progressive update of some things that gives us (the employees) some sort of identity.

For example, I think that small things like personalized notebooks or post-its or t-shirts give the employees some sort of sense of belonging. We don't have any of that. The only thing we have are business cards and I find them completely useless since I don't visit customers and all my communication with them is via email.

One thing I find very cool is when one employee starts in a company, in their first day they get a 'welcome kit' (example picture): notebook, pen, cup, t-shirt... It may look like stupid shit but it's way better and more motivating than the "Sit here and that's it" welcome I got when I started here.

So I wanna do a proposal of this sort of things that we can adopt, and I wanna know what do you find cool in your company or what would you like your company did so you'd feel more confortable or 'proud' (maybe that's not the word) of working there.

Code review?......... what's that?

Joke apart, We literally don't do that in my workplace, only few people care about code quality and what they are pushing to production

Why do people eat at their work desk? This fuckety fuck is putting her sticky spoon in her mouth with some pungent shit in it. And its fucking my nose up.

They also make their workplace dirty with bits all around. You have a cafeteria for fucks sake. Get your lazy ass up there and eat.

I didn't get jealous that 3 of my uni friends are working at the same company but I'm extremely jealous over that 1 uni friend who's company uses Linux for their desktop by default. This is acceptable, right? Right???

One of the most underrated boost of morale in a workplace is giving credits and making acknowledgements.
Most higher-ups suck at this!

Today I read a job offer from my previous workplace and all the things that bothered me there had put them as their points in favor. They are definitely liars

Question for everyone that has a job:

Does your workplace have a dress code? If so, what's required?

This is long rant/story:

My manager conducts sync-up meetings regularly. The idea is to sync up all developers on current state of work. He does’t conduct stand-ups. He doesn't have time for it. He rather discusses on individual basis if we are blocked. The rule of the sync-up meeting is NOT to discuss any blockers or problems but simply explain each other what we are doing and how we plan next.

Sometime ago, the manager brought up and explained a new way of working in the sync-up meeting. At this point, a new developer in the team was absent due to sickness.

Today, there was a sync-up meeting and the manager started to question the new member about the newly introduced way of working. He was unaware of it and the manager never communicated this important information via email or any mode of communication available.

So, the conversation goes on as follows:

"Manager": — "Why didn’t you complete your task as per the new way of working?"
"Employee": — "Well, I've no idea. Am I supposed to do? I’ve been working as usual like any other"

"Manager": — "We have a new process and you have failed to follow it, so we’re late in delivering your work"
"Employee": — "I’ve already finished my work on time. I've raised a pull-request this morning"

"Manager": — "It doesn’t matter, it is not merged to main branch and so we can’t include your work in the release"
"Employee": — "I’ve no idea about the new process"

"Manager": — "Haven’t you asked around about what happened from previous meeting"
"Employee": — "Yes, I have. I was told which tasks were handled, but nothing about a new process"

"Manager": — "Aren’t you interested to learn it?"
"Employee": — "Why won’t I be interested? I was on a sick leave and I have no clue what happened here"

"Manager": — "What’s happened is past now, let’s not focus on it"
"Employee": — <Dumbfounded>
The Employee felt ashamed in front of everyone. He did his job but it didn’t pay off.

…. After an hour … the Employee had a talk with the Manager

"Employee": — "You shouldn’t have pointed me out in front of everyone. It made me feel real bad. You should have emailed this information if its important for the team."
"Manager": — "I have no idea what you’re talking about. When did I say so? I think you’ve a bright future in the team. You should be focusing on doing better things."

Employee goes back to work. A minute later, the Manager sends a PowerPoint screenshot of the process in the group chat.

**The Process**
It's about delivering release packages based on priorities defined by client. Each release package is a set of work items or requirements. Individual developers are assigned to work items. They are expected to deliver on planned delivery timelines in order to consider a work item into a release package.

People come to me they ask:
How to hack !!!.
I tell myself what the hack

IMAO, a new programming language/technology is like a new cute girl at your school/workplace. We give it a lot of attention and tend to ignore older programming languages/technologies

Being attacked in the workplace politically. Makes for a nice work environment.

Not anti-man, curious about this particular problem:
Females have unique problems in the workplace and personal life yes, because of stereotypes.
I agree, I am a female. But when i read those articles about what we really go through, I really feel weak. I think if these many obstacles are present how am I supposed to do something without instinctively being influenced by the society.
It really felt better when I consider myself human not female.

What do you people do when you feel weakened by these impositions?

Last monday I started using a mechanical keyboard at my workplace and now the ones who are in my same room probably want to kill me...! 😉

I am torn apart for several months now. My boss and coworkers are amazing people, projects are quite fun and interesting, workplace is close to home and they pay for my exams (step by step reaching for MCSD certification), but...
The salary if fcking low (you could probably earn same ammount while working as a waitress of normal restaurant). Not only for me of course, but still :( Now I am thinking of running to some bank and doing boring programming job coding same tasks again and again, but getting payed very well

Well I'm in the process of interviewing for a new job and everything about it sounds like a big upgrade but I'm already starting to feel sad because I'm going to miss my fellow captives 😭 nothing bonds people like a toxic workplace.

rate my place 1-10

I once worked for a dev shop who would present themselves as an NGO to provide IT solutions for other NGOs. There were total of 6 employees out of which only me and my friend was the sole developers. And the other 4 ppl would get salary for doing nothing. And they paid us peanuts and made us work parallely on multiple projects at once. Multiple as in not 2-3, it used to be 5-6 projects simultaneously!

Shittiest place I have worked. Fuck the stupid dev shop and fuck the people who run them. Hypocritical bastards.

There is nothing worse than a toxic workplace, it sucks the life out of you and the people around you. Fuck the rat race man.

Hey guys, so i got my first job, but there's this stupid problem there that i am having...there's this guy who makes fun of everybody and there are other two guys who laugh at his every joke whenever he makes fun of someone. He made fun of me too a few times, fun of my age, fun of my nose, fun of certain things i said, and those other guys laugh , and this is really frustrating and annoying. I am thinking of quitting..but i am not sure...should i quit for such a small reason? I dont like such people...i dont know what to do...i dont wanna complain to the HR for such a small thing and create more drama...kindly tell me what to do...i really get sad when he indirectly mocks me because of my age. I am a bit old, 31...and the others are in their twenties...please help, thanks

Just had a work review last day. They told I am meeting their expectations . Okay ,Nice..
Then at night , talking to a friend working in same company ,heard her review significantly exceeding expections and all she gets to do simple bug fixes or smaller user stories. No complaints for her.. But for my team, A little more appreciation would have been better..
When these corporate jobs will realise that sometimes an appreciation can make you work better?

You know when you work with an incompetent team or organization? No one
knows what they are doing and there is no competent leadership to set high standards and
people are making their own bullshit up? Yeah? That's my current workplace.

My workplace basically follows the ethics and rules of assassins creed brotherhood's multiplayer mode.

Every time there is a problem with API, the other team ALWAYS send sample request as image. I don't know if they are just mean or stupid.

At our workplace we clean our offices ourselves, and I don't have a problem with that. My boss asked me to clean the very dusty server room because I'm the only girl in the IT department. I feel somewhat discriminated as a woman in tech. Would it be wrong for me to refuse.

Ok c++ professionals out there, I need your opinion on this:
I've only written c++ as a hobby and never in a professional capacity. That other day I noticed that we have a new c++ de developer at the office of which my first impression wasn't the greatest. He started off with complaining about having to help people out a lot (which is very odd as he was brought in to support one of our other developers who isn't as well versed in c++). This triggered me slightly and I decided to look into some of the PRs this guy was reviewing (to see what kind of stuff he had to support with and if it warranted his complaints).

It turns out it was the usual beginner mistakes of overusing raw pointers/deletes and things like not using various other STL containers. I noticed a couple of other issues in the PR that I thought should be addressed early in the projects life cycle, such as perhaps introduce a PCH as a lot of system header includes we're sprinkled everywhere to which our new c++ developer replies "what is pch?". I of course reply what it is and it's use, but I still get the impression that he's never heard of this concept. He also had opinions that we should always use shared_ptr as both return and argument types for any public api method that returns or takes a pointer. This is a real-time audio app, so I countered that with "maybe it's not always a good idea as it will introduce overhead due to the number of times certain methods are called and also might introduce ABI compability issues as its a public api.". Essentially my point was "let's be pragmatic and not religiously enforce certain things".

Does this sound alarming to any of you professional c++ developers or am I just being silly here?

At a startup where the software was built haphazardly because the developer thought he'll lifelong be the sole maintainer. The dude antagonized me at every turn and refused to help with familiarising with his code. He eventually left majority of the work for me, and dedication to work continued to dwindle until he threw in the towel

After his departure, we surprisingly grew fond of each other, discussing code concepts at length. He was in the habit of refusing to read any of the articles I sent him, or answer open ended questions citing the claim that they require thinking and he was busy. I didn't take any of this to heart

But it accumulated and I deleted his number. I didn't bear him any ill wishes but it wasn't respectful to myself for him to remain in my space. Some day, I was looking for a point raised during our conversations and went rummaging through our chats. Going down memory lane opened scars I'd long forgotten. I was embarrassed to see the way I forgot all about it. I should never have had anything to do with someone like that

He contacted me for a favour just less than a year after I deleted his contact. I didn't even think of declining. But this evening, I randomly remembered how he saw a defect in my code, promised me that the code will fail in production and resisted all pleas to point out what it was. I don't know if I hate him for his dastardly acts. What I feel deepest is sadness/bitterness that I got to experience all that

Very proud to work at my company
They've just been voted for one of the best places to work in the UK. Hard worked studying paid off.

Share your desk!

This is 80% of time my desk, besides this kitchen (also living room) table.

I can sit here for eight hours straight without standing up. No, I don't have any back issues or smth.

I wonder how your workplace looks like

At my workplace, we are working on the codebase from 1999. It's built on Oracle Forms and Reports. Fuck my life 😔

What can I do when my boss tells me to guide the “Senior Software Engineer” while I am just a “Software Engineer”?

Also, the SSE just asked me to help him/her with his/her project coz he/she forgot the skill that he/she was hired for.

I opened this up to my boss, he just told me to guide and not spoonfeed her.

So, questions:
I really find it unfair that we have different job titles, how can I tell my boss that the SSE doesn’t really have the skills to proceed with the project?

Second, do I also need to define and establish the criteria for Lead, SSE and SE within the company? (My boss scheduled a meeting for this exclusively)

I've been working for 6 months now, and the boss tells me he's not satisfied with my work compared to someone that has 15+ years experience. He clearly states that for him - it's more important lines of code, than planning and defining the architecture which he don't like because that doesn't provide anything...

Of course, I can just jump into the code if that is whats important. I've seen the code produced by the other guy, and its shit.

The guy is a talker, and knows how to talk. I'm more like, hey lets create a simple design prototype or do some UML diagrams to get a better visualization of what we need.

Anyway, its just annoying to be compared to someone with many years of experience, its not that I can achieve it overnight...

Confession: I know how to use Git but I want to learn how to use it properly so my team won't crucify me.

Today we had a cryptolocker running through our file servers. The locker came from a mailicious e-mail from a strange address. The email contained a strange pdf file with an embedded docm file. 6 people out of a workplace of 80 opened that file. These people...

So apparently, all IT staff of #ryanair is banned from remote work. Some of them are in Madrid, Spain. I heard a lot about their workplace and how "employee friendly" ther are. But to make "equality" excuse for staying in office cause pilots cant work from home...

I quietly refactored an entire NodeJS express in-house framework that was written in Java style (dependency injection, inheritance, inversion of control) and split it into typed, composable, parameterized, testable middlewares in 2 weeks (including some complicated ones like a custom Openid Connect flow)

Now comes the hard part: convincing the Java-devs who wrote it that it is useful

New CTO.

New CTO pushes policy change to all browsers to open Facebook Workplace on every new tab and as start page.
Locks option to change it.
This also kills restoring tabs from past session.

New CTO handles the complaints
'It's fine to complain, we don't even have to agree. If this is important to you, then come up with a suggestion on how to solve this for all our employees. Business equirement is that one page is shown at startup, that's it. This has nothing to do with Workplace.'

I’ve written at least a dozen bad reviews about my current company on sites like Quora and Glassdoor.

I try to change my workplace to a local coffee shop or library.
That new environment and a good, large coffee really boost me

Hackathon going on at my workplace. It's midnight and still NOT feeling tired. 🙌

Universe has been working in my favour lately 😜

Even my house has more toilets than my workplace!

If you see a programmer at his workplace at 9:00 a.m., it means he spent the night here. 👨‍💻

What I got from my secret santa at work! Do any of you guys have a workplace secret santa thing?

I'm working as a software intern and the room where I work is almost always quiet. And then there's some people who come in and talk, but at that point I don't mind because it's better than straight silence. Anyway, yeah

I’m seriously considering leaving my current team or even resigning from the organization altogether. I don’t blame anyone— I understand that managers have their own deadlines to meet and have to answer to their superiors when things go south. I have indeed developed a thick skin by getting used to all this shouting/blaming the last 3 months. But yes, I seriously don’t think there is any point in taking this anymore. It’s not good for my mental health.

My question to all of you is, is working at smaller companies better in regards to this? (I’m working at a big corporation now). And are they more unstable than bigger companies? (especially in times of COVID)

Today marked my first year of full time development work. I am really grateful to my workplace for giving me this opportunity instead of wasting away in education for 4+ more years. I've learnt so much already and can't wait for more 😁

My workplace keeps moving more and more teams into the building, but the number of restrooms remains the same.

All it will take is one bad food-handling day in the cafeteria to enable battle royale mode.

When my manager, blatantly miscommunicated several things to me a couple of years ago, and scapegoated me by saying a comment I NEVER once heard said about me, in any context ever, "you communicate badly-- you need to communicate better", I took it seriously.

Fast forward, two years later. I'm doing wonderful at my job, yet I cannot get over that incident. I thought about it some more. Why did she say that to me? Why did she address it to me after her mistake? Why was she not aware of the real reason I missed the meeting?

Out of all useful bits of knowledge I gathered over the years, it's kinda comical that psychology came in the most handy at the workplace. There's very little to be gained from trying to psychoanalyze strangers, friends, and family... but it's almost saved my life at the job.

You see, if I attack an approach even in the most formal tones, or even worse, defend my approach, there's nothing coming from that. The situation now becomes my situation. When I become "aware" of the truth of the situation I become able to control the situation, not just myself. That way, you're not in a fisticuff fight with your boss, and you are not left defeated by the situation. Exercising control of the situation in such a manner that they are left defeated by the situation, not by you directly, is the only way you can win as an employee.
Any other way, you'll get under-appreciated, underpaid, overworked, overlooked, etc.
So, my boss at the time, was defeated by the situation of her being a bad leader; and instead of clarifying those feelings to me or ignoring them entirely... she validated her false self using her real emotions.

You can only reverse that, by developing fake emotions, to display a real self.

They can't blame you, and when they feel self-defeated, they cannot pretend it was you who caused it (bringing it back to a sane level of reality). They might rage if they're childish but it will not cause a single hair in your body to twitch because you did not "respond to their email" or "throw someone under the bus for their convenience", the situation did, they beat themselves by attacking you while the situation came down on them.
If I had to explain I would say that the situation is controlled by creating a mirror of the employee that follows their orders perfectly. That employee won't feel defensive: they already do everything right. The employee is crafted by becoming aware of the teams impacted in the situation and their true intent and creating "the situation", "the owner".
"The owner" reflects to people from the perspective of the situation and not from your own. This way you can't make a wrong move and are not emotionally involved with yourself.
It enables you to emotionally notice others. It also makes you safe, because you have the situation-mirror that's really doing the battling. The situation-mirror eventually creates a situation where the other person starts attacking reality (the situation) instead of attacking you.

Now, it's up to you whether you want to use that as a way to cooperate with your boss to beat this new reality, or as a way to gain coherence on your reality outside of your boss. I have noticed most people tend to realize this somewhere along the line and retreat and stop fighting, and quit their jobs.

I've been doing this in a corporate environment for a couple of weeks. I have already become greatly stressed and subjugated by the company for which my company works for. 20 of them sit here every day and devalue everything. Yet.... They're completely incompetent, spoilt, lazy and worst of all, they control how the software is being created. There isn't a single person on their side responsible for their requests to make sense and work with each other. So you can imagine how much blame they need to assign to us devs. They don't know what they want but want something anyway and then they'll see if that's what they want but everything under the tightest deadline possible. They're all clients and they all escalate to the board of directors any bad word directed at them. So you can imagine the narcissism that develops in that environment.
I have made them argue with reality and self-defeat numerous times. They have now started to back off and are being more polite and courteous. They have also not escalated anything anymore. Just as I was faking "happy" while I felt intimidated by them. I have not committed a single angry act and yet they are not feeling superior anymore. The reality of the situation is that we need to make a software and if you make them battle this instead of battling you, they can't beat you.

My boss wants to put an Amazon Echo Dot in the conference room. So I suggested covering it with a cheese cover (those glassy dome thingies). He thought it would be an artsy statement, but I was actually worried about privacy.

Anyone have any experience with listening devices in the workplace?

What's your view on workplace relationships or hook ups? 😄
(Sticking an RJ45 in your pooper doesn't count btw.)

In order to remain sane at the workplace, always give your 100%:

-- Monday: 23%
-- Tuesday: 17%
-- Wednesday: 26%
-- Thursday: 24%
-- Friday: 9%

I really need to get out of this clusterfuck of a mess I got into, A.K.A. our website projects. Now, it feels more and more like all these problems and issues we're having are all my fault.

Here's the thing: I had 0 experience on web development before I got this job. I started as an intern, expecting to learn all the right practices and techniques on building websites. Nope. What happened was I was thrown in this big project, responsible for almost every functionality that it was supposed to have.

A junior-level guy. Doing a huge project on his own. Hell, I'm probably even lower than a junior. But here I am, pigeonholed in this shittard. My boss even said to me, "you know more about the website than I do." Fucking hell. He's not even aware of the clusterfucks I've done on the codebase because, fuck, what did I know? I don't even get feedbacks about my code. I don't fucking know if I'm doing all of these shit right. I don't know if this function is supposed to be here, or if it's supposed to behave that way, and, shit, the concept of test-driven development is probably something my boss has never heard of before.

So right now, I'm a bit obsessed with web development best practices, and how to write clean, maintainable code. I would probably get more learning from going to meetups than I will ever have from this place.

This has been a very shitty start of my career. I hope a much better learning experience will be plentiful at my next job (if anyone's willing to hire me). It would be like starting all over again. Sorry for the long post. I would like to put this as a blog post, but it's probably not a good idea, specially since I'm looking for a new job. Thank God for devRant.

At my incubation place they put up these new, shinny tables and cupboards.
I was hoping maybe they will put a coffee machine. Instead they shifted the printers.

Talk about aesthetics.

Tried to log into my laptop 4 times and got wrong password. Fumed for full 5 mins before realizing that I was using password of workplace laptop.

fml

When you code all day long, on your workplace and later at home, "live" meaning switches places. Stops being "code to live" and becomes "live for code". Change my mind.

Buying CryptoKitties at work. Teamed up with my boss and some collegues. I love this workplace 😄

It's a shame devRant has a character limit because a rant I have will hit the character limit 😂

Is anyone else close enough to his workplace to get there with a bicycle/walk easily?

Yo guys, all the ranting aside, I just wanted to remind you that you ALWAYS have a choice, that you should speak up when something bothers you for too long and that you should be aware about all your strengths and unique skills! Just as a reminder ✌️

CTO pointed out a typo in my branch. Agreenment.

I think I'll have to search for a new workplace 😢

Learning from the smart people; in every workplace there are drones and leaders, each have their own selective intelligence. Pick the ones that are the most intelligent to learn from, and you'll be going along happily while learning at breakneck speed from the best.

I read somewhere that you should change job each 3 or 4 years. I was wondering how often do you change job? 🤔

Happy Friday everyone!

My workplace provides breakfast rolls, fruit, yogurts and other breakfasty stuff as well as free beers at 4pm.

How does your workplace finish the week?

This is fucking 3rd time in this year my workplace have changed the timings of everyone's shift schedule.

'Undefined' is not a function

that moment at work when your boss asks you do something that has not been defined as your 'function'

Workplace infantilzation..

Where are my fellow ladies at?
How do you battle imposter syndrome in the classroom or workplace?

So you’re burned out, what about you start working on weekends?

At my workplace a while back we got some new interns.
I had been explaining how to use the commands on our Linux server. While I was in mid-sentence talking about what shutdown does, the intern inputs the shutdown command; shutting down everything... not shortly after, I start getting bombarded with emails and calls...

Our configuration manager is leaving for a new job and now the office is crumbling.

How do you deal with person dependencies at your workplace?

How many of you actually like the open workplace environment?

How do you all dress in the workplace? Do you wear a uniform (similar clothes daily) or dress up? I think devs should never have to dress up to work but maybe that is just my weird opinion.

You know what I'm CONSTANTLY trying to improve on? Time. With my career out ahead of me, I feel like I gotta get a stopwatch going for myself on my personal projects. It took me hours throughout the weekend to get a stupid table UI and JSON serialization system working on a small project. Meanwhile I remember two guys created a Pokémon Go client in a couple days (back when I had a Windows Phone that didn't have one). Like, how important is time in the industry? A lot according to the memes.

Do you ever meet peopao awesome that you literally have to stop and process it through..

Just met one such guy at my new workplace and as soon as he opened his mouth, I could sense that dude is fucking next level personality.

About two weeks ago, at my workplace, I learnt about Django deployment in Nginx server with Docker and Kubernetes on Google Cloud Console.

I don't know how it works in other countries, but in Hungary the best workplace where you can have a beer and good time with your colleagues after work. Is it same thing at your country? :)

Do some of you somehow internalize the rants of people here and wonder if your workmates feel the same?

Or have you encountered someone rant about a coworker but that’s also something you do/did and now you wonder if your workmates think the same about you?

Worst disturbance? This person who sits behind my back. I've gotten used to them not minding their own business and snooping into mine but to counter that they've taken to distracting me and others all the time.
Sample this incident from just a few moments ago (inspiring the rant).

Me: *debugging while listening to some ambient music channel
Them: *rushes to my desk, putting a hand behind my back
Me: *politely takes off headphones asking, What?
Them: *after peeking at my screen, nvm, I'll tell you later, I have a meeting to go to.

Fucking hell, idiot! It already takes me hours of pushing myself to come to work at this good for nothing place and then actually get to working. Just flush your head in the toilet so you don't take a dump on me with your shitty restlessness.

My colleague had some problems today.
He had problems from both user input and predefined strings sent with ajax to backend. The "&"-sign was splitting values in GET-requests into unintended parameters. So... he was simply going to search and replace all of those signs with the word "and"...

encodeURI()? Why are you sending our forms with GET-requests?! 🙃

Just a safety pin:

If you ever, ever find my real name and go through my rants, then you should know

no pun intended
I love my job
I love my workplace
and above all

I learned more studying myself and in the workplace / jobs.

The problem is money, what will you prefer: teach to a classroom or double / triple income working for a tech company.