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Search - "karen"
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Sales employee Bob wants a clickable blue button.
Bob tells product owner Karen about his unstoppable desire for clickable blue buttons.
Karen assigns points for potential and impact (how much does a blue button improve Bob's life, how many people like Bob desire blue buttons)
Karen asks the button team how hard it is to build a button. The button team compares the request to a reference button they've built before, and gives an ease score, with higher score being easier (inverse of scrum points).
These three scores are combined to give a priority score. The global buttonbacklog is sorted by priority.
Once every two weeks (a "sprint") the button team convenes, uses the ease scores to assign scrum points. Difficult tasks are broken up into smaller tasks, because there is a scrum point upper limit. They use the average of the last 5 sprints to calculate each developer's "velocity".
The sprint is filled with tasks, from the top of the global button backlog, up to the team's capacity as determined by velocity. Approximate due dates are assigned, Bob is a happy Bob.
What if boss Peter runs into the office screaming "OUR IMPORTANT CLIENT WANTS A FUCKING PINK BUTTON WHICH MAKES HEARTS APPEAR"?
Devs tell boss to shut the fuck up and talk to Karen. Karen has a carefully curated list of button building tasks sorted by priority, can sedate boss with valium so he calms the fuck down until he can make a case for the impact and potential of his pink button.
Karen might agree that Peter's pink button gets a higher priority than Bob's blue button.
But devs are nocturnal creatures, easily disturbed when approached by humans, their natural rhythms thrown out of balance.
So the sprint is "locked", and Peter's pink button appears at the top of the global backlog, from where it flows into the next sprint.
On rare occasions a sprint is broken open, for example when Karen realizes that all of the end users will commit suicide if they don't have a pink heart-spawning button.
In such an event, Peter must make Bob happy (because Bob is crying that his blue button is delayed). And Peter must make the button team of devs happy.
This usually leads to a ritual involving chocolate or even hardware gift certificates to restore balance to the dev ecosystem.23 -
Naming contest:
These two 'new' servers need hostnames.
Names must be within the following constraints:
* Names must be female
* Names must be pronouncable and writable in ASCII standard set of characters.
* Names are preferred to reference to duo's, like sisters, twins, dynamic duo's like chip and dale, but female.
Previous servers were name 'tairu' & 'mairu' (heroic age) and 'karen' & 'tsukihi' (nisemonogatori)
Let's see if the devrant community can surprise me.
Entries will be closed within 48 hours of this post.77 -
For the love of God stop having your fucking secretary make the design decisions. "Make the logo bigger"
The header looks like shit if it takes up 1/4 of the screen Karen 😡😡8 -
Dammit, just put the date somewhere next to the title when writing an article. It's amazing how much context might be missing if there's no date when dealing with software issues.9
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Got fired in an email by the boss himself, because according to him I was doing poorly and we had to part ways. He couldn't even spend 10 minutes to say this in person. Maybe the funniest thing is that it was written in Translit (i.e. using Latin letters to write something that should not use Latin letters) with a lot of errors, and this is a guy who has founded several successful companies. This is one of two co-owners of the company, i.e. the business-oriented one, and the tech guy (the other co-owner) had left some months prior to that. I'm mostly glad that I had to leave.2
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People who fall for headlines like "Learn React in 5 minutes" are among the first to be replaced by bots.5
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1) Schedule an hour for the meeting.
2) Tell attendees that any excess time will be for SSBB throwdowns. Fastest meeting ever.
Oh, you asked about being productive?
Making both Adam from frontend and Karen from HR cry at the same time is productive enough for me. 😊4 -
Got it in WhatsApp...😃😂😂
I am sure you will have a laugh too
A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.
"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree".
"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.
One of the poor fellows turned to mr. Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"
Lesson: Never trust managers... They will take u to any extreme to finish their job.
And there is nothing like KIND MANAGERS 😜
Dedicated to all managers and upcoming managers 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂LOL😜😡😡6 -
Customer support people are weird.
They ping "Hi" and just leave it at that!
Wtf do you want me to do with your "Hi".
Is it something urgent I need to look at? Or some generic query?
But I won't fucking know that, unless I reply to your stupid context-less greeting. Because you can't bother to take an extra minute to type. Even worse when it is outside my work hours.
If I do decide to reply I am already online and lost my leverage on deciding whether it's actually urgent or not!
Fuck you Karen from support and fuck you Kumar.
And fuck you junior devs! Don't fucking "Hi. There?" me bitch! Type what you want I'll reply if it's worth it and when I have time to.5 -
Installing Unreal plugins from github be like:
clone, try to build
unreal: nah
me: can you tell me why?
unreal: nah
me: please?
unreal: nah
...
me: With the powers of MS VS I command you, tell me why the fuck you aren't building!?!
unreal: yeah I need that dependency in this plugin fo rmotion tracking
me: we don't do motion tracking *comment it out*
unreal: there I build it.
... I feel like I was a Karen, went to talk to the manager (VS) who gave me a proper explanation to why the employee had to behave this way.2 -
Hi all, first rant.
I work on an app on the Shopify platform, which requires me to look at the front end of people’s Shopify stores about half the day.
Can we PLEASE get the Shopify devs together and convince them to put a hard limit on the number of pop ups and slide ins and modal apps a single store can have running??? When a user (or app developer) can’t click on a product to buy it (or test installation) because ‘spin the wheel’ and ‘join the mailing list’ and ‘Karen in Ohio just bought a toaster’ won’t stop popping into the view, your UX is shit.
I realize people could still actually go in and build these things into their store code - but I’m willing to bet VERY few would.
Thanks - rant over.2 -
!dev
So today I got a Karen got out from her car yelling at me. She switched from her lane to mine. I was in my lane all this while and going straight. She signalled the indicator right after she enter the lane. I beeped at her. She yelled at me "Why don't I signal the indicator".
I beg your pardon? I was just going straight and constantly staying on my lane!!!4 -
Websites that show a notification dot the first time I visit with zero interaction from my end: I hope you die. This is terrible exploitation of UX, and unless I really need something, I'm leaving the site within seconds.2
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The weirdest thing happened a couple of days ago: a dude messaged me on Facebook because one of his employees saw me on Stack Overflow regarding a framework I haven't touched for 3 years.3
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What kinda blockhead moron at my ISP decided that I require a new modem & router that is managed by THEM! I'm not really baffled by the privacy concerns but more about that I am unable to manage my home network. I literally cant open ports, manage ip adresses and do other shit I NEED FOR WORKING AT HOME.
I cant print!
I cant read mail!
I cant access my network drives!
My website is down!
Colleagues are asking why the Minecraft server is offline!
And using the new brick they gave me as a modem only, is not possible as there is no setting to be found to turn the router off!
And if I call their imbecile's of support they tell my that if they change a setting, that my phone will disconnect. (The phone line is also connected to the modem!) And right after the support guy said that and wanted to start explaing me further steps, his settings apply and I get kicked off the line. Bruh! You knew this would happen so why didnt you work around it?!?!?!!
Thing is, this new modem isnt even necessary as it doesnt use a different standard like fiber for example.
If I cant figure out how to get my stuff to work again, I swear to god I will turn on full Karen mode and ramble into their next store looking to get some manager fired!
(Ill post an update soon!)7 -
(long post is long)
This one is for the .net folks. After evaluating the technology top to bottom and even reimplementing several examples I commonly use for smoke testing new technology, I'm just going to call it:
Blazor is the next Silverlight.
It's just beyond the pale in terms of being architecturally flawed, and yet they're rushing it out as hard as possible to coincide with the .Net 5 rebranding silo extravaganza. We are officially entering round 3 of "sacrifice .Net on the altar of enterprise comfort." Get excited.
Since we've arrived here, I can only assume the Asp.net Ajax fiasco is far enough in the past that a new generation of devs doesn't recall its inherent catastrophic weaknesses. The architecture was this:
1. Create a component as a "WebUserControl"
2. Any time a bound DOM operation occurs from user interaction, send a payload back to the server
3. The server runs the code to process the event; it spits back more HTML
Some client-side js then dutifully updates the UI by unceremoniously stuffing the markup into an element's innerHTML property like so much sausage.
If you understand that, you've adequately understood how Blazor works. There's some optimization like signalR WebSockets for update streaming (the first and only time most blazor devs will ever use WebSockets, I even see developers claiming that they're "using SignalR, Idserver4, gRPC, etc." because the template seeds it for them. The hubris.), but that's the gist. The astute viewer will have noticed a few things here, including the disconnect between repaints, inability to blend update operations and transitions, and the potential for absolutely obliterative, connection-volatile, abusive transactional logic flying back and forth to the server. It's the bring out your dead approach to seeing how much of your IT budget is dedicated to paying for bandwidth and CPU time.
Blazor goes a step further in the server-side render scenario and sends every DOM event it binds to the server for processing. These include millisecond-scale events like scroll, which, at least according to GitHub issues, devs are quickly realizing requires debouncing, though they aren't quite sure how to accomplish that. Since this immediately becomes an issue with tickets saying things like, "scroll event crater server, Ugg need help! You said Blazorclub good. Ugg believe, Ugg wants reparations!" the team chooses a great answer to many problems for the wrong reasons:
gRPC
For those who aren't familiar, gRPC has a substantial amount of compression primarily courtesy of a rather excellent binary format developed by Google. Who needs the Quickie Mart, or indeed a sound markup delivery and view strategy when you can compress the shit out of the payload and ignore the problem. (Shhh, I hear you back there, no spoilers. What will happen when even that compression ceases to cut it, indeed). One might look at all this inductive-reasoning-as-development and ask themselves, "butwai?!" The reason is that the server-side story is just a way to buy time to flesh out the even more fundamentally broken browser-side story. To explain that, we need a little perspective.
The relationship between Microsoft and it's enterprise customers is your typical mutually abusive co-dependent relationship. Microsoft goes through phases of tacit disinterest, where it virtually ignores them. And rightly so, the enterprise customers tend to be weaksauce, mono-platform, mono-language types who come to work, collect a paycheck, and go home. They want to suckle on the teat of the vendor that enables them to get a plug and play experience for delivering their internal systems.
And that's fine. But it's also dull; it's the spouse that lets themselves go, it's the girlfriend in the distracted boyfriend meme. Those aren't the people who keep your platform relevant and competitive. For Microsoft, that crowd has always been the exploratory end of the developer community: alt.net, and more recently, the dotnet core community (StackOverflow 2020's most loved platform, for the haters). Alt.net seeded every competitive advantage the dotnet ecosystem has, and dotnet core capitalized on. Like DI? You're welcome. Are you enjoying MVC? Your gratitude is understood. Cool serializers, gRPC/protobuff, 1st class APIs, metadata-driven clients, code generation, micro ORMs, etc., etc., et al. Dear enterpriseur, you are fucking welcome.
Anyways, b2blazor. So, the front end (Blazor WebAssembly) story begins with the average enterprise FOMO. When enterprises get FOMO, they start to Karen/Kevin super hard, slinging around money, privilege, premiere support tickets, etc. until Microsoft, the distracted boyfriend, eventually turns back and says, "sorry babe, wut was that?" You know, shit like managers unironically looking at cloud reps and demanding to know if "you can handle our load!" Meanwhile, any actual engineer hides under the table facepalming and trying not to die from embarrassment.36 -
"Let me just quickly clean up the old stashes since everything is merged and I won't need them... "
Guess what, I needed that stash, and I had it saved 20 minutes ago.10 -
That moment when you develop on localhost and wonder why the page does not refresh while in fact you're looking at the staging.
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To finish my photography portfolio website and get it online. I've been putting this off for YEARS. Just started again (and from scratch) and I've been making some progress for the last couple of days. I don't want to even look at that old project I scrapped, or maybe I will once I finish (read: publish) this one.
My problem before was that I was always looking at the big picture and was trying to figure everything out in one go.
In contrast with that, I now figured out a relatively simple and straightforward way to start off with no back end at all and just use static resources instead (with some logic to parse them every time I "upload" new stuff), which should be fine even in the long run if I end up being too lazy and/or busy to do the back end. In general, I now try to tackle small tasks one by one (even if I don't always write them down and/or track them) and realise that it's better to be done (even not in the best way I imagine it) than to not be done at all. It's as if I learn how to do stuff properly for the first time. Oh, well...5 -
Hardware irony - clicking "eject" for an external HDD that's asleep wakes it up just to immediately send it to sleep again.
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Microsoft buys npm
Am I the only one seeing a tendency of a few big companies (Microsoft, Apple, Google, Yandex, Tencent and 10-15 more) slowly (or not so slowly) acquiring more and more small companies? I hope however that it stays as transparent to the end user; I also hope it even helps, because I hate getting used to a product/service and then the company dropping it because they have no resource and/or interest in supporting it (Google Inbox anyone?)6 -
God! Got my name as username in devRant. <3
Every other website or app told me that the username was already taken!!1 -
Thou shalt not talk while I'm pooping.
-- New Commandment after the floor Karen confronted one of our colleagues about her talking on the phone while washing her hands.3 -
I finally got the refurbished laptop I ordered and..
wrong CPU, wrong number of cores
wrong GPU
only 1 USB port, I bought 3
battery is DOA
fuck aaa_pcs at ebay. they better replace this with what I bought or imma call Karen to talk to their manager
maybe I should check for spyware/backdoors/etc while I'm at it just because I'm pissed.
any suggestions? nothing is too petty if it doesn't void warranty6 -
How to deal with a tech illiterate Karen-type client who uses tech related words even she/he don't even understand them?2
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I was just back home from a 5-month work trip abroad in another field and I had just found a new recruitment platform; applied to a company that had an ad in it and they contacted me like less than a week later. Arranged an interview, flew out, had the interview and received an offer like three days later. Almost four years later I'm still at that company.
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Here is a personal project I've been working on lately. It's not public, but just wanted to share. It's a custom chatbot I created using a LAMP stack. Its built on top of a framework called Program-O to handle the knowledgebase storage and processing along with some basic NLP. I added the web speech api functionality myself so it supports recognition as well as speech synthesis. Anyways, pretty proud of this one.7
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"Have conflicts on your PR? Just solve them by merging target branch into your branch and problem is solved"
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Here's the question, have you encounter a Karen in your workplace or customer who is a Karen?
What's your sorry?7 -
In no particular order:
1. Sense of accomplishment.
2. Keeping my brain busy.
3. Working with smart people. -
No one: ...
Some Random Karen: Ohh my Gaaawd!!!
How dare you not be inclusive to the LGBTQIABCXYZ+-×÷ community!!!7 -
Just now discovered how to debug over network in Android studio. Another way to flaunt a geek look at others today ☺☺
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Some random blogs/sites piggybacking StackOverflow, copying content from there and posting it as their own... I don't know about you, I think this is a super shitty thing to do. Sure, it gets obvious at one point and you just stop clicking on search results like that, but it would've been nice if SEO could work against that so search engines discourage and/or penalise it.2
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Probably a photographer.
I would've been way under at this point in time if photography was my main gig. Before the pandemic hit, concerts were my favourite thing to shoot, but even then it was mostly for my own enjoyment rather than something I could rely on financially. If I had to do it for a living, I would've probably had to resort to weddings/graduations/portraiture, and it would've been terrible since I suck at directing people to pose (part of the reason why I enjoy shooting concerts - because I shoot what's happening without the need for my intervention). Selling prints would kind of make sense if I had the market, but where I am, people are rather cheap (so selling locally wouldn't really work), and I'm rather reluctant to delegate things to an online service. -
Just realised that devRant doesn't give me the option to change my password - I had to go through the forgotten password routine to do it.7
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My coolest bug fix was fixing XSS and CSRF vulnerabilities. It was the starting of my IT career and when I hear these big names, I used to think that it takes a big brain to fix them. But the solutions were rather simple. My architect told me how to solve them and I made my version of the solution and sent it for his review. He just rejected it and told some enhancements to it. The to and fro of these reviews happened for a week.
At some point I felt, why don't he f*****g do it himself. It would take him about 5 minutes.
Finally my code was approved.
Now when I turn back and think about it, I feel I learned a lot from that exercise. -
I'm calling you out, Asus, fix your absolutely shitty piece of software or I'm never buying a motherboard from you again.
A little explanation: my PC woke up from sleep like this. On another occasion before I could take the screenshot, the CPU was sitting almost idle at 45 degrees C. The CPU fan senses that it has to spin up, but never actually does so.
I've had the opposite thing before - a case fan spinning up not wanting to spin down even if the temps are fine - which is preferable because it only causes a little bit of noise. But this here could potentially cause damage to the CPU if I put some load on it without looking at the temperature. I've partly remedied the issue by writing a batch script that kills and resets the fan control service and is triggered by Task Scheduler on resume from sleep - a thing every average Joe should do, right?
It's a shame for top-notch hardware to have to go together with such crappy piece of software. This is the X99 Sabertooth that cost me 450 EUR originally.15 -
Most of us taught in school that we have to get a decent job right after the graduation.
Unfortunately, the school forgot to teach certain people to be decent, not to be a complaining b*tch and manipulative.
Most managers(There are good managers too, is just I am mentioning the bad ones) in my country are heartless, manipulative, inconsiderate and irrational.
The only good about these kind of managers are consistencies. Consistently being a KAREN in the workspace b*tching about everything and everyone. -
If your manager asks you to write a raw algorithm based on raw data in order to properly structure, sort and filter that data, how long do you take on average to complete said task?
Example:
Here's a text file with a bunch of continuous data like: john doe 5555 my street 123 karen wiscott 12347 her street 22 peter wright
..and then you first have to start identifying boundaries for each data entry (which is a task on its own, with comparators and shit), solve its bugs.. then you have to make sure it's properly getting sorted.. sort those bugs.. Yeah, it just takes a long time for me to figure all that out.
It takes me 4-5 days on average since I'm a junior but managers expect it to only take 1-4 hours.. madness..4 -
In a Phaser game, I was unknowingly overriding a method of a parent class. It must've been Phaser.Group or Phaser.Sprite that my class was extending, I was calling destroy() on it without realising I was calling the parent class' method too and was baffled about why shit wasn't working. Found out maybe two days later and changed the method 'destroy()' in my class to 'pokeItWithAStick()'. This was at a previous job, but I'm mostly sure that it stays that way in the codebase three years later.2
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"For those who would argue that it’s impossible to evaluate designs without real content, let me ask this: why then, is it okay to evaluate content out of context of the designs? " - Karen McGrane2
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Something I've been thinking about for some time: many sites allow you to hit Ctrl+Enter to submit a form (while the focus is on some of the form's input fields) and I think it would be nice if DevRant does the same. Right now, to submit, I have to either use the mouse and click the button or hit Tab two times and then Space.2
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At starting of my professional career I was part of an android project for a big credit card company. I used love the UI and colors in it. With all the tablets and phones around, people used to see me like a geek 😀
But UI guidelines and UX of that project, never got such extensive guidelines again. It used to make the development so easy. -
Anyone used Kickflip sdks in their android or iOS app? Kickflip.io
This is used for live streaming of videos. Or anyone used similar libraries? -
Not just because of the Coronavirus but rather because of the Type B flu, everyone is advised to work from home if possible until the end of March or a further notice. Doesn't affect me much since I'm full time remote, it only means I'll have to wait another month before I get to see my colleagues.
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VSCode. I used to be a WebStorm guy, but at one point I found out that I could do like 85% of the stuff in VSCode, and switched over. Things I still kinda miss from the JetBrains ecosystem:
- the elaborate refactoring
- the built-in navigation across the file and the project
- the really clever expand select and go to open/closing bracket (VSCode is kinda getting there, but for expand select it honours camel case words and that can't be turned off, it's weird with HTML files with inlined JS or CSS; for bracket jumping it must rely on an extension)
- the way that everything within the UI is predictable and navigable with keyboard only (tried opening a dropdown in VSCode without having a specific keybinding for that specific dropdown? In WebStorm it was Alt+Up/Alt+Down for any dropdown that has focus IIRC)
- the visual way of changing a colour theme (in VSCode you have to guess what is what before modifying a value; by the way this is an idea for an extension that I might research)
What I like about VSCode:
- the speed (although it can get slow with large files; on the other hand JetBrains IDEs are not that slow except for the startup, given that you're not working on a potato, but here we are)
- its extensibility and very active extension development (and the fact that it's rather easy to write your own extensions, although I haven't benefited from that very much)
- the ease of syncing settings (the Settings Sync extension and now the built-in mechanism introduced I think earlier this month)
- it's free (so I don't have to pay for it myself or nag to my employer to issue me a license)
I've tried Sublime and it's hands down the fastest thing I've seen (it can open a 100 MB text file on the shittiest computer you can find and edit it efficiently), the problem is that it's not so rich in extensions. I've tried vim, nano and whatnot, but I'm far from that, just not my cup of tea. I'm okay for the occasional file edit while SSHd somewhere, but that's all.
In an ideal world we'd have something like Sublime's performance with VSCode's ecosystem and JetBrains', well, brains...1