Should try this with my salary ;)

Translated:
"And jesus said:
Return home to your villages and solve the IT problems of your parents"
Merry Christmas everyone!!

„You should name a variable using the same care with which you name a first -born child!“

My CEO: "So! You are the new guy we hired to design and manage the implementation of our new state of the art super-duper fancy ERP solution with badass Business Intelligence systems to grow our company which already spans over several localities across the county, that has to live for at least the next 12-15 years?

Please remember that the Windows Server in the rack in the basement needs replacement soon, and that our new fancy solution must not in any way utilize cloud-technology or SaSS! I don't like that! I think it's a scam! We store everything on premises, own our infrastructure and we buy our software...Because I think that is best!"

Me: "So... let me get this straight: You want me to build you a one-off, concept sports car that can outperform a Lamborghini using only plywood, duct-tape and a donkey cart?"

He walked off... I may need a new job next week!

"Don't waste your time writing code. Browse on github looking for pieces of code, they're all well written over there."

... during a Javascript exercise lesson.

If programming languages where weapons...

1. C is an M1 Garand standard issue rifle, old but reliable.

2. C++ is a set of nunchuks, powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else.

3. Perl is a molotov cocktail, it was probably useful once, but few people use it

4. Java is a belt fed 240G automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t during firing you get an NullPointerException, the gun explodes and you die.

5. Scala is a variant of the 240G Java, except the training manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish.

6. JavaScript is a sword without a hilt.

7. Go is the custom made “if err != nil” starter pistol and after each shot you must check to make sure it actually shot. Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks.

8. Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day.

9. bash is a cursed hammer, when wielded everything looks like a nail, especially your thumb.

10. Python is the “v2/v3” double barrel shotgun, only one barrel will shoot at a time, and you never end up shooting the recommended one. Also I probably should have used a line tool to draw that.

11. Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword, it is usually only used because of how shiny it is.

12. PHP is a hose, you usually plug one end into a car exhaust, and the other you stick in through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on.

13. Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon, it could probably do amazing things if only anyone could actually afford one.

14. C# is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser doesn’t seem to work as well.

15. Prolog is an AI weapon, you tell it what to do, which it does but then it also builds some terminators to go back in time and kill your mom

All credits go to Vicky from damnet.com

Me on the train. A fucking 12 year old kid, fanboy of the iPhone X.
1. He calls it "X" (the letter). I bet he doesn't even know that it is a 10.
2. "it has only one port so you can use Bluetooth headphones". He seems like he is amazed by that. Like wtf? Guess what motherfucker you can use Bluetooth headphones even if you have a dedicated headphone jack.
3. "it has wireless charging"... Oh would you please fuck yourself you fucking donkey.
4. "it is so thin. Not like those other phones". So can somebody kick this guy or I will do it myself...

Sry gone full AlexDeLarge here...

Present for my new flat ;)
There is no place like ...

Some genius at apple:

I know, let's have a wireless mouse and when something goes wrong with the boot loader let's put a button there to restart the machine but not select it, also don't load the drivers for the wireless mouse so the user has to plug in a wired mouse to click the button

Me: what an absolute donkey dick of an OS. I will replace you with rasbrian...

Programmers as seen by me when I was 10: "OMG, they are scientists, they must rule the world!"

Now: "How the fuck... Whose donkey programmed that shit?!"

Ok so the ex boyfriend (let's call him Joe) of a friend of mine is a dumbass

He wanted to hack her phone, or whatever, so hired someone on telegram to do it. He asked her phone number and 200€.

After actually giving him the money this guy sent a ransom asking for 2k to not turn Joe in.

Joe learned a lesson.

I have no words to describe how I'm feeling these days. I have to do a C project for uni.

After a couple of years dealing with web dev, javascript, typescript, angular and stuff, for the first time I have a project where I have to deal with only two problems:

1) my code
2) my machine

No tools, no bloated libraries, no webpack, no json configurations, no tutorials.

It's just me, vim, gcc (actually nvcc, it's a cuda based project, but still) and the cuda manual.

I feel I'm actually building something.

Plus, the guy I'm doing the project with is cool with this stuff and most important he's open minded.

I'm happy

Got my bachelor degree today. I'm happy.

So the company I work for had a critical project they needed done in 8 days.
We told our boss it wasn't possible because of the scope of the project but he went on with motivational speeches about how anything is possible. So he hired 12 devs for 8 days.
The scope of the project is already big enough but everyday upper management either add 10 new features, modify 2, or delete some already.
We basically sleep 2 hours a day and today is the last day. 5 minutes ago we just had a meeting that we're supposed to change a core feature. We don't even have a stable system yet and everyone is fucking pissed.

The feeling of not knowing enough plagues me constantly

I feel like the whole CoC debate is just:

"Stop using harmful language!"
"F*** you! How else can I tell you that your commit sucks donkey-b***?!"
"You are banned!"
"I'm taking all of my work with me, you c****!"
"No you are not"
"Yes I F***ing am"

Maybe we can reach a compromise, where we can insult bad coders, just not on the basis of their race/gender/sex? Or, fork a version of the code base for "inclusive-sjw-types" and another for "loud-mouth-a**-holes"?

Like it's really a debate on work ethics. Positive change negative reinforcement...

!rant
I opened devRant and closed it immediately. This is what happened.

Is this related to the Android system or to the devRant app?

I've seen several rants about dumb/useless teachers, college and the CS degree studies; today is a good day to vent out some "old" memories.

Around two semesters ago I enrolled in a Database seminar with this guy, a tall geek from the 80's with a squeaky voice, so squeaky mice could had an aneurysm if they listened to him.

Either way this guy was a mess, he said he was an awesome coder, that we were still "peasants" when it came to coding, that relational databases had nothing on him since he was an awesome freelancer and did databases every day, that we had to redo the programming course with him and with his shitty, pulled out of the ass own C++ style guide with over 64 different redacted rules.

He gave us sample code of "how it should be done" in Java...it ain't my favorite language but fuck me a fucking donkey could have written better code with his ass!! He even rewrote Java's standard input function and made it highly inefficient. He still wrote in a structural paradigm in OOP languages! And he dared to make this code reviews were he would proyect someone's code and mock it in front of the class as he took off points, sometimes going to the negative realm (3,2,1,0,-1...)

But you know what's shittier? That he actually didn't even attend, 90% of the time, it was literally this:
> Good morning class
> Checks attendance. . .
> I'll be back, I'm going to check in...
> 1 hour 45 minutes later (class was 2 hrs long) - comes back
> do you have any doubts?
> O.o no...? I'm ok.
> We're done

Not only that, he scheduled from 4 to 17 homeworks throughout the week, I did the math, that was around 354 files from everyone; of course he didn't check them, other students from higher semesters did and they gained each point taken from students making students from lower semesters get the short end of the stick.

How did I pass? He didn't understood my code or database schema and he knew he couldn't fail me as he had no ground to stand on.

Thanks for listening, if you got to the end of this long ass post and had a similar experience I'd love to read it.

One of my former client has refused to pay the remaining balance. I dedicate this to that ass(donkey)hole.

WTF!!???

Ctrl+Y doesn't redo in android studio

Holy fucking dickballs, AWS cloud platform is one of the most UX unfriendly piles of fuckery I have witnessed.

It starts off okay and then you have to use it for many hours a day.
API gateway is assfucked backwards in its layout and how it displays. Why have things go horizontally across the screen rather than flow down so I can scroll. Also when I add a method to a resource why the god damn fuck do I need to select it from the smallest drop down imaginable when you have HALF MY POXY SCREEN TAKEN UP IN LITERAL WHITESPACE NEXT TO IT.

Now I get on to the dynamodb interface whoever designed must have been some form of insane cause it is as clunky as a donkey in clogs.

Finally, Lambda console, look I get it UX is not you strong point. but WHO IS THE SADISTIC FUCKOFF WHO WANTED TO HAVE TWO SCROLLABLE TEXT AREAS THAT CAN NOT BE FUCKING EXPANDED SO I CAN SEE MORE THAN FOUR LINES OF THE FUCKING OUTPUT.

*grumble* 12hrs a day of this bullshit *grumble*

Ok guys time for a big question.

About 1yr ago I had a burnout. Since then I've been avoiding online communities, social medias, the phone itself and if I hadn't to graduate I'd have avoided my pc as well.

So, recently I reopened "the web" and I feel like Fry from futurama.

What the fuck are NFTs? Images for sell? Blockchain related stuff? Why is everyone talking about them? And why is everyone talking about web 3.0? And why none says anything good about it? Is this related with NFTs?

If I google this shit out I get only ELI5s, so I'd appreciate if anyone could Explain Like I'm A Software Engineer.

Thanks for your patience

1 - when I actually got the point of OOP

2 - When I got that I could check if a number was odd or even by doing & 1

3 - (in the future) when I will understand lifetimes in rust.

Where's the post?

You're so slow that your hash function takes Ω(n) to execute.

NO FUCKING GOOD NIGHT FOR FLOYD.

THIS MULTI FACTOR AUTHENTICATION IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.

So my organisation uses some MFA app as an SSO to access any and everything. Fantastic. Absolutely wonderful. No VPN shit and one password to rule them all.

But, for some reason I accidentally deleted the app from my phone and as any normal human being would do, I also reinstalled the app.

Well, post reinstalling, the app does not detect the linked Org account.

I was cool, when I'll login, the system will throw a prompt to map the phone.

So I login to org URL from my machine and lo and behold, the URL says that MFA is already linked to the phone and I have to enter the Citrix type code to login.

But phone does not show the code because account is no longer linked and web does not have option to change/re-register the phone.

What the actual unholy fuck?????? Bloody retards. How am I suppose to get in now?

So after a Googling for a bit, a thread mentioned that this is most common issue faced by users with this MFA app. The only way to get this resolved is to contact your IT team.

Cool. Let's do that.

I opened the link to my IT portal and it asks me to login via SSO which is what I need help with in first place.

I can't login to Slack because fuckers ask SSO every time the app is exited. So no contact there.

Thankfully bastards allow Outlook so was able to drop a note to one of my team member, whom I connected recently and is very nice, asking her to help me sort this IT team.

If this is the most common use case then why the fuck not add a feature to help people overcome this shit?

And my IT team is absolute nuts. No other way allowed to reset the linking or connect them or any help links provided on login page.

Whoever was behind this design should be dipped in donkey shit and deep fried in pig urine.

Best
- got sick of computers, lost all my passion for this field

Worst:
- got sick of computers, lost all my passion for this field

I hope I'm just tired.

*Presents finished product to client
Client: We won't pay until you add this new feature that was never in the original specs.
*One week later after adding new feature
Client: Uhh, actually there's something else we want, do that then you get paid.

😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

IT Definitions of Designations

Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.

Tester is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.

HR Manager is a person who thinks that...a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months

A lot of people seeing the devRant app on my phone:
What's that?
I always answer:
A safe place for developer ;)

What are your one sentence descriptions for this awesome app? ;)

Following on with my “hybrid/cross-platform sucks donkey balls” thread

When the specs doc was poorly written and u almost turn into a donkey

How I should approach a new project:

- think about data design
- draw some tables
- configure relations
- create data structures
....

How reality proves I'm a donkey:

- builds random table
- works on models, with random querys
- realizes things get to complicated and relations are broken or tables need duplicate logic
- starts thinking about 'good' design
- draw some tables
- configure relations
- create data structures
....

just a lil somethin somethin I made on Paint 3D

I dropped my kid off at preschool and went my way home.

She's 2 so I transport her on a stroller.

While coming back, I came across an old lady sweeping the sidewalk of her house, and it got narrow to pass through because there was a tree next to her.

I carefully slowed down as to not collide with her, and while going through, we noticed each other.

I did a tiny smile as a way of saying "hi" like I usually do to people on the street.

To which she gave back the most innocent and sweet smile I've ever seen a stranger give on the street.

I could honestly feel my heart crack as it happened.

I guess the stroller must have caused her sympathy thus that reaction.

(which is why I like going around with the stroller, because people tend to treat you nicely which feels nice, like butterflies)

I know it might seem like an ordinary story without a punchline, but let me explain that I walk this city everyday.

And even though the people here is very nice compared to other cities I've lived in, it is very rare to get smiled at with such joy.

You might still think that is not a good story. But I can explain its relevance.

As some of you know, I post triggering content on this account, closeted parts of me that I normally hide,

Such as sexual stuff, some people think I'm a degenerate but I like to think I just have normal sexual thoughts that don't affect others in real life AT ALL.

And I'm also very argumentative, again, some people might see it as troll behaviour. On my side though, I just don't like bullshit and call it out when I see it.

But with this post, I'm not trying to be more likable or negate all the weird shit I said. This post is just another closeted part of me, being emotional.

And the reason I hide that is because it is not generally well accepted when a man is sensitive, at least where I'm from.

For example, if a female friend at work had a nice haircut, sometimes I feel the urge to be like "omg girl you look so prettyyyy!!!!".

But if I did that I know what will happen based on DIRECT experience: people will assume I'm gay or weak, and will make fun of that.
Or the actual friend will think I'm hitting on her.

No, fucking thank you, not having that shit.

But even if people accepted that, they just can't conceive I'm also very direct and honest, so when they do get to know me better, they get shocked.

So what do I do? I just hide that. That might change in the future, but I don't have the energy right now to deal with some people's simplemindedness.

I'm not making any sort of political statement, like "people should be treat me correctly or else get fired because of offending my gender".

But I'm not gonna lie, it would feel very nice if I was around more progressive people. I wished I had just just standard male behaviour and thoughts.

I guess some people in progressive cities are more accepting of the whole gender fluid thing, so I wished I lived in one (let me clarify though, I'm not a mindless gender fanatic).

I'm also not perfect and sometimes the line between "I love your haircut" and "I'm into you" blurs the fuck out, so that's on me... I don't know if it's something I can change though...

Hopefully all this shit I'm saying doesn't make me look like a lunatic. Veeeery hopefully.

Though, If you think for real I'm a lunatic or bad person, you can suck donkey dick.

In the meeting where I gave my notice period, the manager told me I won't find another company that doesn't make you do "donkey work" like us.

Currently hee-hawing from work.

Facebook API...

Facebooks "graph" or API's in general fucking stink donkey dick.

Their implementation of oAuth is horrible.. 3 different tokens, which can be either short or long lived, for fetching a facebook page feed (the clients own facebook page)
To that you add a clientID and a ClientSecret.

Great... after painstakingly reading confusing documentation and itching your head... You get it to work.

Then they, without notice, makes a breaking change of deprecate an endpoint you were using.. Jesus..

And all the support you can get comes from a "community group" which may or may not reply with a generic link to their documentation...

Dear Lord.

I've got an exam today. I remembered ot was at 9 am so I arrived at university at 8 am.

It turns out it is at 2 pm.

So I spent the last two days wondering WTF I did wrong, because my Laptop (Debian STABLE mind you...) would only boot in read-only mode and therefore only TTY (which btw sucks donkey-balls on a 4k screen (see image for visualization)) but on the earlier Kernel 4.9.0-7, everything was dandy.

So apparently laptop-mode-tools managed to fuck shit up in a way yet unknown, but as soon as I yeeted that bitch off my harddrive, everything was working flawlessly again...

Fuck you google android IME team and fuck their open source policy..

So recently i had a chance to work with AOSP LatinIME code, basically our Android keyboard was forked from very old code base of LatinIME and my job was to change its base version to latest Version available on AOSP repository. Downloaded latest Android 8 codebase. Did 2 weeks of deep investigation of what improvements we will get from upgraded code base.

And I came to know that those Google fucking cunt sucking dick heads deprecated that project and broke the whole thing to a pice of shit. Half of the code is broken with fucked up todo stuff and motherfucking missing method implementation with not implemented warnings. What those motherfucker did is that they abandoned the open-source project after they released Google GBoard, and fucked the stable code by adding quard gram support and dictionary download with multi account features which was never completed by those motherfuckers..

Those misguiding donkey shit fuckers kept a depreciated project in AOSP build tree which has not received a single fucking commit from shitty ass Google IME team, is said to be reference model of Android IME implementation..

What kind of fucking shit is going with open-source code in name of making competition high with thirt party Android keyboard developers ..

Fucking shit fucking ime team .. fuck you .. wasted my fucking time reading your shitty code base .. Fucking shit

While merging colleagues code...
Because Android studio log cat sucks donkey balls 😂

One job I picked up was for an IoT Start Up. It was quite interesting work, reporting to the technical director, who was an electronics engineer, who was designing the hardware himself, they had a couple of firmware guys already, and just needed someone to take care of the software.
So they said they needed something in Azure that they could stream their data to and provide analytics for their clients. It had to be Azure, and it had to be Azure Native, and was to be Multi-client, as they had a deal with Microsoft to showcase how well Azure works in the IoT space at an exhibition/conference in 3 months time.
So I worked flat out for 3 months, on a whole variety of technology, from C++ to get the radio packets from their IoT chip, Python to run on the hub to take the data from the C++ and stream it to the cloud, Azure IoT Hubs in every continent to receive the data and store it an a Cosmos DB, and then Power BI analytics wrapped up in an Angular front end that the clients could log into.
Got it finished 2 days before the show, and they were so pleased I got flown business class to Singapore to be on the stand and talk to customers.
The first sign of trouble was when we arrived at the show to find we just had one of those little circular tables with two stools in the middle of the floor, about two feet across and no power.
No problem, I was able to sort that, swapping laptops in and out.
Microsoft were really happy with what we had, and couldn't believe I had thrown it all together in 3 months.
We picked up a potential customer for the system, a major Asian Telecoms company.
Then when we got home, the CEO swooped in. I had never met this guy before. Imagine one of the VC guys from Silicon Valley, or the CEO from the IT Crowd. You get the picture. Could talk the hind leg of a donkey, and real street smart, but no brains. He insisted on "taking it from here" and flew alone to strike the deal with the customer. Came back with an MOU in his pocket and said to me, their guys will be in touch with you.
Then I got a call. Can you send us the source code and tell us how what servers we have to run this on?
Um, its cloud native.
No, we can't use a cloud it has to be on our servers - your CEO told us that was no problem..
He hadn't even taken the trouble to find out what it was we had built, and what he was selling.

Do arcade games (Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Berserk) count? I got my allowance in quarters.

Atari 2600? Ti/99 with a tape drive to play a game at my friend's house?

Having to buy a 5.25" floppy in the HS bookstore for typing class on the TRaSh-80s and finding a way to put a break in the program and save it to disk so I got top score on assignments?

Tron. That's what really did it for me. To this day, I like to imagine there is a vast world inside the computer.

After a BASIC programming class in HS, I got an Apple IIGS and started writing my own load menus for these little games I'd find around FIDO and newsgroups. Instead of "PR#6, brun gumball" a nice styled menu would show where you could press the number of the game you wanted to play.

I bought a book on Apple assembler and promptly got disillusioned with full blown programming (in 1988), instead sticking to BASIC and, later, JavaScript, HTML, PHP, CSS, and Python.

Who remembers sharing hacked PCP accounts to dial out of state BBSes?

Applied Engineering customers and 300 baud chatroom lurkers represent.

User #243, God's Country chat

Angular is still a pile of steaming donkey shit in 2023 and whoever thinks the opposite is either a damn js hipster (you know, those types that put js in everything they do and that run like a fly on a lot of turds form one js framework to the next saying "hey you tried this cool framework, this will solve everything" everytime), or you don't understand anything about software developement.

I am a 14 year developer so don't even try to tell me you don't understand this so you complain.
I build every fucking thing imaginable. from firmware interfaces for high level languaces from C++, to RFID low level reading code, to full blown business level web apps (yes, unluckily even with js, and yes, even with Angular up to Angular15, Vue, React etc etc), barcode scanning and windows ce embedded systems, every flavour of sql and documental db, vectorial db code, tech assistance and help desk on every OS, every kind of .NET/C# flavour (Xamarin, CE, WPF, Net framework, net core, .NET 5-8 etc etc) and many more

Everytime, since I've put my hands on angularJs, up from angular 2, angular 8, and now angular 15 (the only 3 version I've touched) I'm always baffled on how bad and stupid that dumpster fire shit excuse of a framework is.

They added observables everywhere to look cool and it's not necessary.
They care about making it look "hey we use observables, we are coo, up to date and reactive!!11!!1!" and they can't even fix their shit with the change detection mechanism, a notorious shitty patchwork of bugs since earlier angular version.

They literally built a whole ecosystem of shitty hacks around it to make it work and it's 100x times complex than anything else comparable around. except maybe for vanilla js (fucking js).

I don't event want todig in in the shit pool that is their whole ecosystem of tooling (webpack, npm, ng-something, angular.json, package.json), they are just too ridiculous to even be mentioned.

Countless time I dwelled the humongous mazes of those unstable, unrealiable shitty files/tools that give more troubles than those that solve.

I am here again, building the nth business critical web portal in angular 16 (latest sack of purtrid shit they put out) and like Pink Floyd says "What we found, same old fears".
Nothing changed, it's the same unintelligible product of the mind of a total dumbass.

Fuck off js, I will not find peace until Brendan Eich dies of some agonizing illness or by my hands

I don't write many rants but this, I've been keeping it inside my chest for too long.

I fucking hate js and I want to open the head of js creator like the doom marine on berserk

I think that two criterias are important:

- don't block my productivity
- author should have his userbase in mind

1) Some simple anti examples:

- Windows popping up a big fat blue screen screaming for updates. Like... Go suck some donkey balls you stupid shit that's totally irritating you arsehole.
- Graphical tools having no UI concept. E.g. Adobes PDF reader - which was minimalized in it's UI and it became just unbearable pain. When the concept is to castrate the user in it's abilities and call the concept intuitive, it's not a concept it's shit. Other examples are e.g. GEdit - which was severely massacred in Gnome 3 if I remember correctly (never touched Gnome ever again. I was really put off because their concept just alienated me)
- Having an UI concept but no consistency. Eg. looking at a lot of large web apps, especially Atlassian software.
Too many times I had e.g. a simple HTML form. In menu 1 you could use enter. In menu 2 Enter does not work. in another menu Enter works, but it doesn't submit the form it instead submits the whole page... Which can end in clusterfuck.
Yaaayyyy.
- Keyboard usage not possible at all.
It becomes a sad majority.... Pressing tab, not switching between form fields. Looking for keyboard shortcuts, not finding any. Yes, it's a graphical interface. But the charm of 16 bit interfaces (YES. I'm praising DOS interfaces) was that once you memorized the necessary keyboard strokes... You were faster than lightning. Ever seen e.g. a good pharmacist, receptionist or warehouse clerk... most of the software is completely based on short keyboard strokes, eg. for a receptionist at a doctor for the ICD code / pharmaceutical search et cetera.
- don't poop rainbows. I mean it.
I love colors. When they make sense. but when I use some software, e.g. netdata, I think an epilepsy warning would be fair. Too. Many. Neon. Colors. -.-

2) It should be obvious... But it's become a burden.

E.g. when asked for a release as there were some fixes... Don't point to the install from master script. Maybe you like it rolling release style - but don't enforce it please. It's hard to use SHA256 hash as a version number and shortening the hash might be a bad idea.

Don't start experiments. If it works - don't throw everything over board without good reasons. E.g. my previous example of GEdit: Turning a valuable text editor into a minimalistic unusable piece of crap and calling it a genius idea for the sake of simplicity... Nope. You murdered a successful product.
Gnome 3 felt like a complete experiment and judging from the last years of changes in the news it was an rather unsuccessful one... As they gave up quite a few of their ideas.

When doing design stuff or other big changes make it a community event or at least put a poll up on the github page. Even If it's an small user base, listen to them instead of just randomly fucking them over.
--
One of my favorite projects is a texteditor called Kate from KDE.

It has a ton of features, could even be seen as a small IDE. The reason I love it because one of the original authors still cares for his creation and ... It never failed me. I use Kate since over 20 years now I think... Oo

Another example is the git cli. It's simple and yet powerful. git add -i is e.g. a thing I really really really love. (memorize the keyboard shortcuts and you'll chunk up large commits faster than flash.

Curl. Yes. The (http) download tool. It's author still cares. It's another tool I use since 20 years. And it has given me a deep insight of how HTTP worked, new protocols and again. It never failed me. It is such a fucking versatile thing. TLS debugging / performance measurements / what the frigging fuck is going on here. Take curl. Find it out.

My worst enemies....

Git based clients. I just hate them. Mostly because they fill the niche of explaining things (good) but completely nuke the learning of git (very bad). You can do any git action without understanding what you do and even worse... They encourage bad workflows.
I've seen great devs completely fucking up git and crying because they had really no fucking clue what git actually does. The UI lead them on the worst and darkest path imaginable. :(

Atlassian products. On the one hand... They're not total shit. But the mass of bugs and the complete lack of interest of Atlassian towards their customers and the cloud movement.... Ouch. Just ouch.

I had to deal with a lot of completely borked up instances and could trace it back to a bug tracking entry / atlassian, 2 - 3 years old with the comment: vote for this, we'll work on a Bugfix. Go fuck yourself you pisswads.

Microsoft Office / Windows. Oh boy.
I could fill entire days of monologues.
It's bad, hmkay?

XEN.
This is not bad.
This is more like kill it before it lays eggs.
The deeper I got into XEN, the more I wanted to lay in a bathtub full of acid to scrub of the feelings of shame... How could anyone call this good?!?????

Dear Comcast, why in the flying fuck is it necessary for you to bring down the entire network for five hours to do "routine maintenance." There's nothing routine about that.

That moment when you start spotting mistakes in blog articles regarding some new topic you're currently studying

Donkey dog = new Monkey();

Goal: Making this a valid logical statement.

There’s so much we can learn from Gordon Ramsay..
I wish I could swear & insult like he can..

Woman: “who do you think you are? You insulted my friend!”
Gordon: “well if I did then I probably meant it, now get your fat ass back to your table”

“Congratulations, you just got your head out of your own ass. Now piss off”

*Customer wants more spinach*
Gordon: “ ok I’ll make you more spinach *dramatic pause* and push it up your ass”

Or my all time favorite:
“You fucking donkey”

Mantain a huge bad designed and worse written full stack project.

It was an internship and I was paid pretty well. It still lead me almost to a burnout; while sleeping I used to dream the project

They hired me a couple of months later to redesign it from scratch. I only rebuilt the db and I made a sweet job. 85 reduntant tables reduced to 30.
Then they fired me because they couldn't afford me. Still got paid well enough

I posted one for work already but this little guy sits on my desk at home.

Meet Donkey, he's 32 years old and suffers from male pattern baldness. My mom made him for me when I was 2 years old (thus the odd name I gave him) and he's been with me ever since.

So I'm going to leave this code till tomorrow.
The bugs should have magically gone by then

University, first Java practical lesson.

I'm sitting near this guy, clearly hyped up because he managed to install his first linux distro earlier.

After 5 minutes he asks me how to do the task the Professor assigned that morning.

I'm playing dumbass in my head, thinking stuff like "oh big boy installed ubuntu but can't declare a fucking Rectangle class in java lol" (what a dickhead).

I helped him, and then proposed to go out for a quick smoke.

Turns out we're very similar, hyped as hell with linux (like I was at the time), with same CS interests. Still texting sometimes.

I think my hard drive is going to die.

My laptop takes 15 minutes to start up and it takes a fucking long time to open any program but once they're opened they run pretty well... And it does since two weeks ago!

This is a hdd related problem, isn't it?

Named a variabile `orgAss`. Noticed in a PR

Ok now I'm gonna tell you about my "Databases 2" exam. This is gonna be long.

I'd like to know if DB designers actually have this workflow. I'm gonna "challenge" the reader, but I'm not playing smartass. The mistakes I point out here are MY mistakes.

So, in my uni there's this course, "Databases 2" ("Databases 1" is relational algebra and theoretical stuff), which consist in one exercise: design a SQL database.

We get the description of a system. Almost a two pages pdf. Of course it could be anything. Here I'm going to pretend the project is a YouTube clone (it's one of the practice exercises).

We start designing a ER diagram that describes the system. It must be fucking accurate: e.g. if we describe a "view" as a relationship between the entities User and Video, it MUST have at least another attribute, e.g. the datetime, even if the description doesn't say it. The official reason?

"The ER relationship describes a set of couples. You can not have two elements equal, thus if you don't put any attribute, it means that any user could watch a video only once. So you must put at least something else."

Do you get my point? In this phase we're not even talking about a "database", this is an analysis phase.

Then we describe the type dictionary. So far so good, we just have to specify the type of any attribute.

And now... Constraints.
Oh my god the constraints. We have to describe every fucking constraint of our system. In FIRST ORDER LOGIC. Every entity is a set, and Entity(e) means that an element e belongs to the set Entity. "A user must leave a feedback after he saw a video" becomes like

For all u,v,dv,df,f ( User(u) and Video(v) and View(u, v, dv) and feedback(u, v, f) ) ---> dv < df

provided that dv and df are the datetimes of the view and the feedback creation (it is clear in the exercise, here seems kinda cryptic)

Of course only some of the constraints are explicitly described. This one, for example, was not in the text. If you fail to mention any "hidden" constraint, you lose a lot of points. Same thing if you not describe it correctly.

Now it's time for use cases.
You start with the usual stickman diagram. So far so good.
Then you have to describe their main functions.

In first order logic. Yes.

So, if you got the point, you may think that the following is correct to get "the average amount of feedback values on a single video" (1 to 5, like the old YT).
(let's say that feedback is a relationship with attribute between User and Video

getAv(Video v): int
Let be F = { va | feedback(v, u, va) } for any User u
Let av = (sum forall f in F) / | F |
return av

But nope, there's an error here. Can you spot it (I didn't)?

F is a set. Sets do not have duplicates! So, the F set will lose some feedback values! I can not define that as a simple set!

It has to be a set of couples, like (v, u), where v is the value and u the user; this way we can have duplicate feedback values in our set.

This concludes the analysis phase. Now, the design.

Well we just refactor everything we have done until now. Is-a relations become relationships, many-to-many relationships get an "association entity" between them, nothing new.
We write down on paper every SQL statement to build any table, entity or not. We write down every possible primary key or foreign key. The constraint that are not natively satisfied by SQL and/or foreign keys become triggers, and so on.

This exam is considered the true nightmare at our department. I just love it.

Now my question is, do actually DB designers follow this workflow? Or is this just a bloody hard training in Pai Mei style?

To leave 9/5 behind and successfully launch my own thing. By design it should require minimal maintenance so I should be good to spend my time however I feel fit. Get my fam and close relatives involved as well.

Move out of that tiny apartment into a large house outside the city where my kids could grow their imagination, have nearly unlimited space to plat at safely, where I would no longer feel squeezed in tightly.

I'm the donkey and that's my carrot hanging in front of me

Following situation:
6 people sitting on a table having a few beers Friday evening.
3 Devs and 3 non-Dev people. The devs were talking about stories and problems with customer service...
So far so good... Suddenly one dev came up and said:
Hey guys! I have a very funny and interesting "GoDaddy" story to tell!
The faces of the non dev people were priceless because they imagined a totally different story.....

>Why is chrome making my computer turn off all of a sudden?
<Boss, you have a quite old iMac with fully updated chrome, which is known to eat RAM. PLus, you've been using that computer as a donkey to do video editing, even tho it's not made for that (looking at the stats), and you have your home folder on an external hard drive, plus like 10 other apps always active, including premiere, illustrator, airmail (with 12k emails always loaded smh), slack on 2 workspaces and at LEAST 12 chrome tabs on some of the heaviest websites
>Mmh... yeah you're right, I'm kinda asking for it

That moment on saturday morning when you realize what you missed for the last 5 months in the framework you are using at work and realize you can delete about 5000 loc with some refactoring...

Fuck guys I just got a huge Eureka moment that probably made me level up.

Came here for the stickers and the stress ball.
Stayed because of the hilarity.

A few months ago I bought an e scooter to get from home to work.

The backstory to this:
My car broke down on the highway, my sister's car broke down on the highway and we didn't have another car apart of my dad's anymore.
Which means I had to look for another car. The cars between 1k-5k € are dogshit and when you want to register the car you have to have an appointment at a government building which happens to be closed when I'm getting out of my 8-5 job.
I had enough and bought an e scooter.

Now back to now:
In the beginning it was cool.
Could get anywhere I wanted to in combination with the Germany ticket. Except for the Netherlands where my beautiful girlfriend is.
There I can legally not use it but that's ok lol.

The German government is hyping e mobility and public transportation up, but for what?
E mobility currently sucks ass with all the shit laws for e.g. e scooters and when you want to transport it in public transport, people give you weird looks, the bus driver wants you to buy a bicycle ticket even if I can fold the e scooter and more. The scanners in the bus of the German buses cannot read my German ticket for some reason and every bus driver in my city knows that and they just look at it and are like "Ok, you're cool. Continue moving", but this old grandma looking ass bitch is like "No, according to the law you need to show it to the scanner and not to me". I fucking know. I've been doing this shit for a year and you know that but it doesn't work. It says to me that I need to show it to you instead of to the scanner bc this machine is fucking dumb and apparently I'm holding the people because I started a discussion with her. This driver ... ugh. The buses in my city come whenever they want as well.
Like sometimes 5 minutes earlier, sometimes up to 30 minutes later.
Inconsistent motherfuckers and I am the one making everyone wait? Suck my donkey kong balls.

German trains... well you know how that goes. It doesn't. It sucks ass.
Every single fucking train line has a problem. Either a previous train has something, or staff is missing, or a technical error or the train driver's ass is itchy and needs scratches from his assistant. There's always something.

When I want to travelled home from my gf I spent not lying 8 fucking hours on the trains on Sunday.
Normally it takes max. 5 hours with a train and 3-4 hours with a car.
I can also go on a rant because of the Dutch train system because it also sucks, BUT they are reliable. They are there when they say they are gonna be there. 99% of the times.
In Germany it is somewhere at 10%.

Now I realized that e scooters are uncomfortable and expensive toys who need maintenance just like a car but nonetheless they are reliable unlike the public transport.
In the winter it will be even worse.

Electrical cars are way expensive and affordable electrical cars you need to keep charging every few baby steps.

I also looked at 125ccm motorcycles which you can drive if you upgrade your existing car driver's license, but ngl that's a scam. Not worth it at all.

And that's why I am looking for a traditional car now. E mobility is not there yet in Germany and public transport is not doable at this moment.

As my bio says, open/build a farm.

I may not be a dev... (learning in my off time though, best thing ever) but I have been responsible for the computer system validation, requirements definitions and planning of a new piece of software that will have a major increase in effeciency for a division consisiting of over half our companies employees.

For months it has been a painful process. I have had night terrors, immense pressure on my head all the while thinking we are getting to that final goal (live deployment), and the light at the end of the tunnel has just seemed to be getting further and further away... Like a donkey chasing a carrot on a stick.

After all the grey hairs, stress and drinking I am finally going to deploy this thing to the live environment tomorrow. Funny thing is its the part of this process that managers are stressing about and I am here like... Oh wow my Friday just got a whole lot better

Today i spent one hour and half trying to understand why my ajax request was returning "undefined" instead of a json object. It turns out i had just to restart ionic because of some bug in the ts transpiler.

Fuck you typescript.

Here's your first project, you need to fix bugs in IE you can do that on this MacBook. :/
Ummm..

Every work experience so far.

The first one... Internship abroad, very messy codebase, almost no code review.

At the end I was so tired I started watching movies during worktime.

What happened to @linuxxx's blog?!?

Whenever I'm extra proud of my coding skills, I go to YouTube and watch devs build Pacman, Donkey Kong etc from just plain Javascript or build portraits from just CSS.

It's an effective way to humble myself.

Public transport system in my city has the following option for monthly subscription: you can register your DEBIT/CREDIT CARD in some sort of whitelist and use it on the doors to access the subway or buses.

They. Save. Your. Card.

That moment you realize you are at the end of that period of life when you have a lot of free time...

I recently moved and live on my own. I'm still studying and I'm finding small jobs as a developer (I make the money I need to live). So far so good, but recently I found out that the career path I'm taking it's not what I actually want to do.

I do not regret it, I'm happy and I feel lucky comparing myself to others in my country.

But I can't stop thinking that the more I go on the less choices I can make freely and that growing up sucks sometimes.

Whichever fucking cunt at Wordpress came up with that filthy Walker class and how a navigation item tree should be traversed, shall be hanged to death.
How fucking brainless can one be to create such a complete pile of donkey turds?!
No wonder Wordpress itself makes no sense at all nor has it any connection to any intelligent lifeform whatsoever.

Edit: This rant does not even closely show how high my fucking rage-level is!

None. As soon as I hear about a new trend I fear it. I fear the huge amount of Medium articles I would encounter...

Jesus fucking christ Google Analytics sucks major fucking donkey dick.

Peace

A time I (almost) screamed at co-worker?
Too many times to keep up with.

Majority of time its code like ..
try
{
using (var connection = new SqlConnection(connectionString))
{
// data access code that does stuff
}
catch (Exception e)
{
// Various ways of dealing with the error such as ..
Console.WriteLine("Here");
ShowMessage("An error occured.");
return false;
// or do nothing.
}
}

Range of excuses

- Users can't do anything about the error, so why do or show them anything?
- I'll fix the errors later
- Handling the errors were not in the end-user specification. If you want it, you'll have to perform a cost/benefit analysis, get the changes approved by the board in writing, placed in the project priority queue ...etc..etc
- I don't know.
- Users were tired of seeing database timeout errors, deadlocks, primary key violations, etc, so I fixed the problem.

On my tip of my tongue are rages of ..

"I'm going to trade you for a donkey, and shoot the donkey!"
or
"You are about as useful as a sack full of possum heads."

I haven't cast those stones (yet). I'll eventually run across my code that looks exactly like that.

Refactoring the code I'm refactoring right now.

They're three different users

I ranted about it already.

```c++
if (vec.size() > 0) { // or whatever
cout << vec.size();
// ....
}
```

Its output was zero. And before you ask, it was a single thread program.

Aince it was for my thesis and I was in a hurry I didn't care too much for it.

Yet I think that it was a bug in clang. I removed that piece of code, compiled, rewritten it a bit differently and worked as expected. Never looked back.

It has been a hard year for everyone.

Seriously, happy new year (UTC+1)

I'm in my first internship, they gave me their only company owned product. They always made interns work on that, and it's something I really appreciate (I like when people give to others any possible chance of learning)... But apparently they made a mistake: for the first year they never reviewed interns' code. And now that software is huge and full of bugs.

After two weeks working on that I said to the tech leader and to the PM that we should spent a couple of months rewriting more than half of the code, and surprisingly they listened and agreed (the TL already knew that, and the PM is not a dev and he listened to the TL).

After two days of code rewriting ("refactor" is a too weak word) the boss calls me and orders to stop, telling me basically "I agree on this decision, but not now; let's first make it work and then we make it great!".
Okay I respect that, but what he didn't understand is that the two things are strictly related!

Result: last week we had a first official release (with some client's testers, so they were expecting a few bugs) and nothing was working, so me and the tl started a really hard rewriting work (that didn't finish) and managed to release a very bade made software that works by chance.

After easter we'll keep working on this, and I think at the end it will be great.

First working experience, in two months I learned a lot (not only about code/tech).

If you asked me two months ago I'd have said building and using a Barnes Hut tree with CUDA.

Today my answer is working on a fuzzer with LLVM without knowing shit about either C++ and compilers.

Yesterday, while I was studying for an algorithm exam, I realized I used induction on trees in a wrong way for six months.

Type conversion in python is made of dog shit and donkey poop

Get away as far as I can from web/app development.

I've been out of the loop with websites and frontends for a while. Now, is it me or is it just overengineered to make a static website that's not a blog these days?

I mean, I need to make a landing page. 6 sections + footer. And I don't want to end up with a 600+ lines html file. With tailwind possibly.

JEKYLL
I've used it a few times, and after 3 years I still get some weird error when installing everything. Maybe it's trivial, but I know shit about ruby. Plus, I don't need ruby for anything else, and the official Docker image just doesn't work, exactly like the quickstart tutorial. 3 years later, same issues.

HUGO
I like this guy but god, the docs are just unreadable, it's not compatible with tailwind 3.x (or smth) and it's been a pain to build a user-configurable homepage. Plus, it does more than half of the work by itself, Fair enough, it's supposed to be used for blogs.

ANY OTHER "JAMSTACK" BULLSHIT
Anything is either a blogging engine or delivers some crappy javascript blob from hell. I just need an html document, that weird thingie the whole World Wide Web was built upon, broken into pieces so I can keep my sanity.

Looking forward to get the fucking AWS Solutions Architect. Looking even more forward to build my farm.

So I got my sister a new PC and being the thrifty (and masochistic) fuck I am, I thought I'd build it myself. I built the PC yesterday (side note: Stick to backplate coolers, Push-Pin is the bane of my existence, patience and fingers) and wanted to install Windows today.
I shit you not, I ran this godforsaken spawn of Satan of 'Windows Media Creator Tool' no less than 5 times with different USB sticks, different Ports, turned off AV and FW and as Administrator but stuff ain't working. After ~30min of downloading Windows each time, it always told me in usual Windows manner "Something went wrong", because who needs decent error messages anyway...

After a year in cloud I decided to start a master's degree in AI and Robotics. Happy as fuck.

Yet I got really disappointed by ML and NNs. It's like I got told the magician's trick and now the magic is ruined.

Still interesting though.

Working at a start-up company and i must confess its blood sucking like you've got some vampires sucking life out of you. I have to work like a donkey or camel and sometimes feel like am right in the middle of hell , lots of requirements, changes, fixes, updates, and more products stuffs that pissed you up, I don't know what am feeling right now but I only know am coding and have to take some shit feelings out!!!!

I'm doing my first steps with javascript with the book "eloquent javasccript".
Wish me good luck.

Ok so apparently, if you are a mid-skilled worker and want to sell a service in this country you must register to some "state trade chamber" and start paying 3k/yr right away.

So, by doing the math, if I wanted to provide some cheap hosting service I should start with minimum 200 customers from day 0.

Fuck that.

Q: How instantaneous are these jobs? *referring to a Jenkins job to upload database from local to an environment

A: Well that depends on your network speed. Here in the middle of nowhere, I have a donkey carries the package up the mountain, so that could take a while.

I feel bad for ranting about this.

So I just came out of a projects where a teammate was really slow. It's not that they weren't trying, like I was sitting across from them and can see them working. But seriously fing donkey balls, SO SLOW and subpar, it wasn't slow and steady to win the race, it was slow and steady to just barely pass.

Like we had two weeks for this project, we've had all of the planning done, now on the last 4 days it was just finishing up the implementation. And everything to come out of this person would take ages, slow everyone else done, and would need to be redone by someone else.

I really do feel bad for hating, cuz this person is doing there best and it's just not good enough. They listen, pay attention, but it's like they can't improve.

It just sucks... Because their ambition and effort is not being paid off and is pulling us down...

Hello everyone !
I am a self taught programmer. Currently in last semester in electronics engineering. I want to become a software developer but can't decide the right career path for me to take. I like back end, Android, Data structures and algorithm, Parallel programming, Machine learning and computer vision, and even security. I am afraid I will remain the jack off all trades and won't be the master of any. This way I won't be doing any good in my career. Any advice as what to do ?

Software business partner will make your life hell and the CEO holds a lot of shares in this company. Aka you can't fire them even if they suck donkey dongs.

I don't wanna work 😭. My company is making me work like a donkey. I have to commute for a total of 4 hours (to and fro). I get hella tired when i reach home. I don't have any energy or life. I feel lifeless and everything makes me irritated. They are paying me $5300 in a year( i am from india) with a bond. It just seems like they are exploiting me. 😭 I can concentrate on preparing for DSA and make projects in order to switch my job. I just can't keep working, working and working at the same place with the same people inside the same cubicle. I feel so fucking irritated, lifeless and sleep deprived. They are recruiting freshers and paying more salary to them who doesn't even know how to code! And here i have been working straight for 1 year(including internship) with very good feedbacks from everyone. When i asked if i could get wfh permanently, manager said no but at the same time gave permanent wfh to the other team member having much greater experience. I feel so so sad. I finish all my work on time no matter where i am and always gets good feedback. 😭

TLDR; windows sucks donkey balls

Sometime ago I started to get battery issues on my laptop using windows. Even with 100% charge it would soon display 0% when unplugged.

A few months back I switched to linux on my laptop and on my desk station. And to my surprise, battery issues dissapeared while using linux (manjaro i3). Anybody had that same problem?

Anyway I dual boot win 10 and linux just in case I'd need windows, and this week I noticed my root parition didn't have any space left.

For the next few hours I'm in a car so I thought hey great time to reinstall linux with a bigger root partition. I already had reinstalled windows, and with all the bloat removed, I could shrink my windows partition to make more space for linux.

Now all I need to do is prepare a usb stick with the manjaro iso. I could do that in linux, but since reinstalling windows killed my grub bootloader I couldn't boot up manjaro.

Right, so in windows I go and want to create this bootable EFI usb stick from the manjaro iso. Now the battery issue kicks in again, stating 0%. But with luck, the usb creation finished without my machine dying. Now I just need to restart my laptop and boot from the usb and .... Crap. my Laptop doesn't boot up anymore
-_-

Now i need to wait for a plug to be able to power it up again. Once I boot from the usb I'm sure I could use the laptop some more hours until the battery is actually dead. Fuck windows

Tldr: no router, almost not work.

Ok I recently moved into a new house, and I signed a contract for an Internet line.

Problem is that the router has been sent at the ISP shop, where I was supposed to get it personally. But guess what? Covid emergency happened two days after, and the shop closed.

So, after spending two days calling customer service of both ISP and Postal office without being able to speak to anybody, I received a Sms saying that the pack was not delivered because the receiver was closed.

After some more unsuccessful calls to the same two entities I managed to find the actual shop's phone number, that was actually thw owner's house (he's working from home). I spoke to him, told the problem, and he changed the router destination to my house.

Today I checked the package status on the postal website and I saw that it seems that they tried every day, at 7:02 am, to deliver the bloody package again at the shop! I truly hope this was a bug on their tracking system. It's weird that the hours were always 7:02am, because the package delivery office opens at 8:30 am, so again I'm praying any existent and non-existent god that that's just a bug. I'm kinda tired of being stuck with my phone hotspot with limited GB and with ISP public routers with about 5Mbps.

I wish I had @netikras skills with router building.

I've always thought that in order to become a project manager it was necessary a period as programmer (as it was a sort of promotion).
But according to what I read here it seems like a lot of pm have no idea how to/how long it takes to develop software... Am I wrong or what?

I need an opinion.

I want to learn something new. I consider myself a non-stupid person, and I am quite embarassed by the fact that the only tool I know well is Js+friends.

My options are:
- Java because money
- C/C++ because smartass
- Rust because yes
- some new shiny obscure shit like nim/zig/hare because lol

Currebtly I need money tbh. Java would seem a reasonable option, yet I'm scared by its huge ecosystem and I'm afraid that it would seriously take too long (like MANY years) to be confident enough to get a job.

Also, despite the common memes and crap, I fucking like Java.

Being blamed for and written up by your manager for a late deliverable on a ui component that the same manager failed to provide the APIs for in a timely manor.

I've been away a couple of months.

I finished uni. I got a job at a startup. My mental health improved. Current boss is nice, during december I was going towards another burnout due to huge task assignments. When I expressed this concern, he understood and reduced the sprint task number.
I hope I'll stay here as much as possible.

I've been living with my gf for over a year now. Pretty exciting, although intimacy is kinda fucked. We haven't had sex for over a while now.

I'll start hit the gym soon. I need some kind of workout or sport.

I hate my city at this point. Too big, public transport suck and going out for anything that's not a pub requires at least 30 minutes by car in the traffic. Parking is plain hell. Cabs are out of the question, too expensive. Yet I need to go out. Can't stay this much inside the house or around the neighborhood.

Since I'm working remotely I'm thinking to travel with my laptop. I need a better one and more money, but I'm starting to work on an external project. Still have to discuss my hourly rate but it won't be much given my limited experience.

I want to start studying again. Not for university or anything, just to keep myself in training, but I feel like I don't have time. Probably it's because I'm an unorganized person. Will figure this out.

So this was my answer to an unasked "how are you?".
Did I miss anything? How are y'all?

I'm sick of people who don't care about their job.
I'm attending an app design course and there's this guy, sitting near me, who doesn't care at all about what the teacher explains. Instead he sits and uses the very fast connection of the school to download some useless shit or to manage his shitty web site. Today he missed everything about JSP in order to download ubuntu, install it on his external hdd, install vmware on it and download and install a OSX image for it. And we are paid 1.66 euros per hour (for lunch and gasoline).

Is this the way bad PM are created?

I'm attending a design course, and in the last few weeks they're teaching us a bit of web programming. The teacher of this part of the course is totally not competent, even though he has every possible Microsoft certification, it's clear that he has not idea what he's doing: he just reads some tutorial on languages and repeats us what he reads. Even when people ask him something about the code he writes, he just repeats what tutorials say...

E.g. he taught Angular 2 without saying anything about how typescript works; the last week i stayed home for a few days and took my time to read all the Angular tutorial and some general typescript, and everything is much clearer.

Also (and this is my favourite part), here's what he said us to do to run Angular projects: he made us open Visual Studio (VISUAL STUDIO!!! With his 60 fuckingGB) and press "Run" on the top of the page... For whose don't see any problem here, the "Run" button runs everytime the command "ng serve" that runs the "webserver" that runs the Angular app, so the opening of any project took about 1 whole minute for each little modification we did...
I had to explain that we could run the command on a terminal and use any editor as VS Code. He didn't even think about that, he said that it was a very good idea (You don't say!).

Fortunately, this is not a Web Development course, and we did only a few weeks with him; the other teachers are very competent in their job...

So some guys at my brother's college made a sports live score app, which charges 1$ for getting score. He decompiles it, and what we see is bewildering, it is not obfuscated and the link to the json values are hardcoded in the app and the whole login process is just a sham. Seriously, WTF, were the guys thinking!

Lua sucks donkey dick

Where the fuck do I place that end statement in this shit?

My Project Lead got me to work overtime, I was doing 150% of what I was supposed to do.
After 4 months of tremendous working and smart planning, I planted a small bug in the software we build, and used that to exploit the Software yesterday morning, and today by 3 PM (Our Usual. Lunch Time), He was fired.
Finally, that donkey is fired and now he must rotten in hell, yeah, he got that stamp on his resume for being fired.

Now I am feeling guilty that I have almost ruined his career (30%), but I am happy, that rascal got what he deserved (70%). Yay!

I don't understand how can Wikileaks be still active and publishing new stuff... Shouldn't it be like "pwned" by CIA or NSA or something? Can I trust whatever I see on that website?

Never in my life have i seen such a convoluted and complicated framework as Celery. Celery sucks donkey ass. That is all.

Tl;dr I am incredibly ashamed of my code at work.

I recently started working as a junior dev. I know many aspects of the stack I use, and I feel pretty comfortable when solving simple and specific problems.

But this is the first complete project I make, and I received no peer review until now. And my code sucks.

I tried my best to deliver a good and working code, but it became messy in too many places. Now it's too late to refactor.

Probably I just cannot see the right way of modeling specific situations, I don't feel I should blame the frameworks I'm using, but the point is that my code sucks. Or at least this is how I feel.

I'm going to leave this workplace soon (personal reasons, not related to this topic and/or the company), and I am kinda scared of the shit I'm about to leave to them. It's a very nice environment and they don't deserve this crap. Also I have some other good reasons to worry about this, but I cannot tell them.

My plan is to finish a couple or personal stuff I have to do and then spend as many hours I can on the project trying to finish it asap and make the code better (for now I've been working only 6hr/day).

I'm really thinking that I just suck at this.

Apple fucked me, their latest iOS version broke my app 🙄 10.1.2

Then my phone gap plugins decided to update to .. they also don't work 🙄

Absolute mess only way I knew was rolling code back to a version that once worked... Thanks github!

To start and maybe finish my project.

Fml 😥

Read. Everything. CAREFULLY.

And do some research if needed.

Books are there for a reason.

Seems pretty obvious, uh?

I'm going to do my first internship in a month. I am 22 yo.
Am I too old for the first job experience according to you? Because I actually feel so...

Coding is so fun, I'll stick a project manager in there and fuck some shit up.

Worst: Java EE + Spring

Best: ... still waiting for it. (Too late, I know)

Digistore24 is a steaming pile of shit!

The whole product creation and purchase integration is covered by ugly smelling donkey shit. This whole dumb service is made by idiots.

The 'scripts' they provide to throw at your server for generic customer handling is a joke. Just a raw php mess. But nothing works and debugging this piece of shit is nearly impossible because they don't even provide a proper documentation on how they make the request to your machine.

🤬

Things I want to accomplish in 2023:

- learn rust
- learn a functional programming language (elixir probably)
- finish the O'Reilly book about microservices
- learn and contribute to gnunet
- read at least other 2 books about SE

Regarding the last point, I've always underestimated SE books.

Unsure of what path to take as a developer.
I'll be graduating from uni next year and I'll probably go into web dev but I'm not really passionate about it building websites for a living.

A fried of mine got a post-doc in a university abroad.

Apparently they have their whole infrastructure self hosted.

And I'm here, unable to degoogle my phone due to uni requiring google's stuff.

Yay another public transport strike will preventiva me from going to uni :)

Someone here told me once that according to him/her OOP was often overengineered and I was wondering why.

Then, recently, I started diving deep into Symfony. And I got it.

Ah yes the feeling you get when booting a fresh OS installation and your ansible works perfectly

I forgot something on my previous rant.

1. Learn some backend language/framework (thinking about j2ee and frameworks)
2. Keep studying for university
3. Start and finish my project

if (vec.size() == 0)
cout << "Size is " << vec.size();
```

Output: "Size is 3"

Ffs

I lost my codemotion ticket. I'm about to cry...

It's now a few months that I'm doing my first internship.
And I feel pretty bad.

The company is great, but the software I'm working on is horrible, bad coded and a nightmare to maintain. I think it's a common situation: fixing a bug opens other twenty bugs.
Also, the boss doesn't want to spend time to rewrite any part of it (it's not a huge thing, it would require at most three weeks).

I feel like I'm not learning almost anything and I'm not practicing anything about what I studied.
Also, when I go back home I don't have any will to code, even just to practice.

How should I feel about this? Is this a normal situation and I'm just somehow spoiled?

Trying to figure out Material Custom Themes. Goddamn who ever came up with this was either a genius or a donkey. I cannot get a grasp of it. I need a custom palette import this in a custom theme and then make sure this theme is included in my Angular installation.
Why god why?

WhiteHatJr Licks Donkey Balls.

Started a new job trying to get familiar with their development workflow and no one wants to help pretty frustrating I'm ready to walk out the door.

My favourite laptop sticker has to be GatsbyJS's Watson floating around - Other favourites are my Nasa sticker and the stickermule donkey pixel art 😁

I am not going to lie and say my laptop hardshell looks great with the stickers as I stuck them on as I went along so it's all over the place 🤷‍♂️

When I had a burnout failing to complete a uni task.

I was trying to implement a parallel version of the Barnes-Hut algorithm for the N-body problem. Spent way too many hours on that.

I hate miners.

The field of Machine Learning is so disappointing.

It's all about identifying data distributions and doing computations on them.

Apparently even generative models just know the possibile distributions in advance and build data around noise?

InNoVaTiOn

This weekly rant question comes at the right time...

So.. currently working on updating some hybrid mobile apps. Major updates, so requires drastic measures..

anyway, over in my Nx workspace now, I generate a new Angular app, add Capacitor and generate a new Android project.

Then when I open my new project in Android Studio, it recommends updating AGP from 8.0.0 to 8.1.1.

Waiting for the new packages to download, AS shows an orange warning message popup that reads "sync is taking an unusually long time", or something like that.

Software development from a third world country sucks donkey dick. Because I've "only" got a 20Mbps connection. 🤔

I never worked as freelancer, but I'm thinking to start as far as I keep studying, and I was wondering... How do freelancers charge their client when they get paid x per hour?
How do they assure the client they worked for a certain amount of hours?
Do they do it by prediction or they say they'll work y hours per day?

Feels like a dumb question...

Would it make sense in order to regulate AI to force companies to publish the dataset they used to train a specific model?

I've been doing Infra as Code for the last 8 months. I enjoyed it

This is yet another rant about php.

But I'll put my hands on first: I'm less than a junior and I'm looking for a backend language to learn.
So far I've been looking at php with Symfony because it's been used where I work.

Is it my impression or Symfony somehow overcomplicates everything? Like I don't know, for any stupid thing I get stucked (like yesterday, spent two hours on a circular reference problem with serialization).

Also, I don't like it's documentation. I am a book person, meaning that I need pages of text explaining how the framework (or whatever) works in a precise order.

Symfony's docs are like a graph: you often have no idea where you are or "what comes next".

Also, I feel like every page makes you just copy-paste everything without explaining very much what's happening under the hood.

I know there is a cookbook, but it's pretty outdated (like it's at version 3 or 2.7, I don't remember).

Is it just me? Do other Symfony developers experienced the same?

Lesson of the year: devRant has fallen.

Buzzrant

Neural networks are stupid.

Do you guys think that it would be possible to build a cryptocurrency that could replace traditional banking and money at all?

A non anonymous cryptocurrency, that could guarantee enough privacy to not be used for surveillance but at the same time could be used by common people.

I had this thought recently but at the time of writing ( :P ) I haven't enough knowledge and time to go deeper than this (meaning "nothing").

How much time do you take usually to code a backend with simple crud operations and notification system?

It's taking me some time, but I feel I'm going too slow...

So I'm having this return to the 70s mood. Not for the 70s themselves but for the pack of tech in everyday life.

Like besides email or worldwide message exchange and wikipedia, what have been the last true innovations?

Media streaming just killed and monopolized other industries. Sure, everything is cheaper, but let's be honest, how much music do we consume? Pretty sure like 80% of people listen to the same 100 songs in their whole lifetime. Do we need limitless streaming? Did it help us somehow beyond giving some dopamine shots?

Social media are and have always been crap for posers, advertising and bots. Small communities make sense, when properly taken care of. The actual issue with social media is the replacement of the so called "Third place". The place you go after work that is not your home. We don't know each other anymore, loneliness is apparently becoming pandemic and people are struggling with this. How is this innovative? For the real time news that are making people freak out?

And then, as I ranted before, AI. It's just... Statistics. Well applied statistics. Is it an actual innovation? No. Serves nothing beyond taking someone's job.
And before some retarded dickhead starts no, it will never create the same amount of jobs as a factory would've done 100 years ago, and prompt engineering is a lie told by the very guys who SELL those products to convince you that their crap is harmless.

Maybe it's about time to hit the brakes for a second and think if the simpler things (NOT the times!) were better, if maybe if we're getting lonely is actually our fault, it's our fault for not calling that old friend for a drink, it's our fault if we keep getting some dopamine shot every minute and are barely able to look people in the eyes, it's our fault for not behaving like human beings?

I hope any engineer will understand how this rant is about consumer-oriented tech and not tech in general.

In your opinion how much would it take to learn Java with /Spring(Boot)?/ enough to get paid for it?

I already know Java's basics and at uni did some frameworkless server side development.

Just finished an Assembly homework... For the first (and hope the last) time in my life I complained about arrays starting from 0.

For donkey, one can argue that WordPress is great, but for the developer, it really sucks. Customize it, feels like your soul tormented in eternal hell with its spaghetti code and unreadable variables.

I use VSCode.
But I'm starting to get used to vim. I'll share my final opinion when I'll master it

I heard a lot about phone scammers, every time I go to bank website I read message that they will call me and steal my money. I couldn’t wait to get my scam call.

Finally someone called me poorly pretending to be bank employee.

Scammer: We detected suspicious activity on your account, did you transfer xxxx amount of money to company yyyy ?
Me: Yeees ( waiting excited for more action )
Scammer: ….. thank you …… hang up

Next time I will try donkey sound.

‪4 hours later and my code is finally working and as usual it was only one line causing everything but on the bright side I now now how to use mocks and spies ‬

Why do Linux users always have to tell you that they use Linux and how much other OS suck donkey dick?
Considering devs using other OS usually don't give a fuck to tell everyone that they run iOS or Windows or w/e.

My curse.

Have a job. Job doesn't pay much. Another mediocre project opportunity appears. I take it. Later, a great project opportunity appears. I take that as well.

Rant "Crap, I don't have free time" around.
No thit Sherlock.

Hi there

Every few months I switch my Linux distro, currently I’m having a look at Manjaro.

I really like it so far, but there’s one thing that sucks freaking donkey balls..

Everything works perfectly until I shutdown.
On shutdown the whole OS freezes.

Although Manjaro is known for its big and new-to-arch friendly community, I didn’t find many posts about this problem and if I did, the questions were not answered.

Any ideas?

How do you deal with a peer who wants to write a bad code just because he doesn't understand the better way to write it or he just doesn't want to?

Suppose you're not in a company, so there's none above you two, like you're freelancers or in a uni team for a project

These days browsing through some sites firefox asked me to access to my mic and camera... According to you, why?

I think (and I hope) that was because of some specific sites...

I finally got my avatar duck! Also woke up with donkey kong country music in my head. It's going to be a great day. Happy Friday everyone!

How do grown up people deal with a coworker who never listens, proposes slow and complicated solutions and takes literally one hour of fight to change his mind?

Please note, he's a nice person, so I won't say or do anything that might offend him.

In a normal application with front and back separated, how do you guarantee consistency between models? Do people normally do PRs to change them on both sides and hope none screws up or is there a better way?

Some time ago I was looking into generating stuff from the OpenAPI spec. Is this a good idea? Also, can graphql help with this? I'm soooo confused by this, it's like a problem I never managed to solve in my head...

To all node developers...
Is there actually a pure standard library into node? I looked at the docs and as Hello World it uses Express.js, so I'm wondering if there's actually something beyond the interpreter inside node.

The blue donkey strikes again!

Am I the only one that thinks that websites like dev.to are a huge pile of useless buzzwords and still less useful articles? I speak as a less-than-junior developer...

Just scrolled for five minutes dev.to and I didn't find anything useful nor interesting...

rant!

So I've started working on a new web based project with one of my teachers. So he says to me,
"I wont do any of the coding, its all donkey work. Adjusting the text to be in the vertical and horizontal centre and etc etc. I will provide you with the architecture, for now you will be making CRUD operations."

I understand where his frustration comes from after years of experience coding the basics again and again but assigning me some work and labelling that very work as donkey work is not the best way to motivate me!

I always knew somehow, without realizing it. Since I was a kid I always was fascinated by technological stuff.

My parents are into humanistic fields so they couldn't give me any good input to understand what I liked exactly.

One day I learned I cpuld tinker with stupid batch scripts until I read on some forum the word "programming".
I was like "wtf is that" and googled the word.

In that moment I realized what I was going to do in my life.

I often see desk setups where there is a screen on the top of everything.

Isn't that really dangerous for the eyes? Afaik you should always look down when looking at a screen

I'm still trying, after many months to pick something to wrap my head around on in my free/boring time.

I wanted to learn some new language, or make a small app for my household, but as soon as I open a book, a doc page or just some tutorial I get nauseated by the code, the chapters, the effort I need to go through everything once again. It's just becoming boring and pointless unless I get paid for it.

I blame my last burnout, but it was more than 2 years ago ffs, I'm starting to think this is just an excuse.

How do you guys manage to develop side projects in your free time without getting bored?

What's the most insane deployment scheme you've had to work with? One client has a release schedule that deploys all major projects once a month(!). Bugfixes get deployed once a day (systemwide), so any issue that can't be verified until it's in production has at least a days delay when iterating.

SO, after finishing uni I joined a startup.

"We'll cover devops stuff! Aws certifications for everyone! And later k8s!"

So I'm here, learning VueJS.

(Tbf, the situation is better than it seems, like being here, boss is a honest person. Still, fuck.)

Spring roo by a country fucking mile, it tries to do too much magic under the bonnet, it creates files which if you modify it gg from me and gg from him (two Ronnie's), if you generate html forms with it takes less than half a beer to either SQL inject or xss it and worst of all it has one of those names that no-one can take seriously.

My advice avoid it like the syphilitic donkey it is.

Today I need a treat for myself.

I just started a web dev course.
I definitely hate bootstrap, jquery-mobile and all their fucking classes.

Does it exist a good reference poster (or something else printable) with all these classes and what they do?

I still don't get what the impostor syndorme is precisely, so either I'm good enough to not get it or I constantly sell myself as an impostor.

Edit I think I fucked up english grammar...

I starting to get pissed when I read "New X tool bla bla bla MADE IN RUST"

Once I configured someone's bashrc so that everytime he opened the terminal he would get a creepy ascii art version of Sans from Undertale. We both are big fans.

A nice prank vould be starting sshd on someone else's pc and changing stuff here and there the whole day.

Of course "don't do this at home", I suppose it might be dangerous and I have no idea how to do it in a safe way.

Some time ago in a telegram group a guy triggered me when he complained that "most students after the degree have no idea how to correctly implement the mean of a series of numbers".

Then he asked: "does anyone here know how to do it?"

Three people answered, including me, none gave the correct answer.
Eventually I got it, but now...

How many people here know how to implement the mean of a series?

Does anyone actually uses Modelica irl?