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Search - "fuck me"
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So because of the sheer number of interviews I’ve been doing I’m starting to get a bit brazen with them since I’ve started to really not give a fuck about most of them and I’ve started to notice patterns in common lines of questioning resulting in this unexpected gem today:
Interviewer: So we always start our devs off on the bottom end of our salary band.
Dev: Either give me the top or I’m not interested.
Interviewer: 😡. But if we start you at the top of the salary band we’ll have nothing to give you later. 🥺.
Dev: No need, I’ll take the money up front. Companies don’t give raises these days anyway, it’s just a carrot to dangle in front of the naive.
Interviewer: 😡. Well if all you care about is money so focussed on money you’ll just leave if a better offer comes around!
Dev: All the more reason to give me the highest number possible to defend against that possibility.
Interviewer: 😡. But there are other devs on the team with similar experience that will be making less than you.
Dev: Sounds like they fell for the negging and guilt tripping you are currently attempting on me in order to save a buck. Salary is not based on your skills or experience anymore, it’s based on your ability to negotiate. Here’s mine.
Interviewer: ………………. I’ll pass you along to the hiring manager.
Dev: ???? wtf
HOW THE FUCK DID THAT ACTUALLY WORK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I WAS TRYING TO GET THEM TO HANG UP FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES AND NOW I’M LOOKING AT A 20K RAISE ALL BECAUSE I CONTINUALLY TOLD THEM TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES??? THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT IT TAKES TO BE TREATED PROPERLY BY A COMPANY???15 -
Dear Apple,
If you were a person in the streets dying after swallowing a fish bone, I'd stop by only to KICK YOUR FUCKING HEAD REPEATEDLY INTO THE CURB!!!!
FUCK YOU for wasting my time getting my hands on an old MacBook just so I can develop in your shitty prison of an ecosystem.
FUCK YOU for wasting my time having to install officially unsupported crapOS for the hardware only in order to use your steaming pile of shit latest Xcode because it's the only way to write code for the target device.
FUCK YOU for running slower on a 2.5GHz processor with 16G of ram than the Internet did in 1995. FUCK YOU AGAIN as browsing the internet is faster than anything else on this setup. FUCKING planned obsolescence MOTHER FUCKERS!
FUCK you for the headaches with multiple different iOS versions to take into account when thinking about what should be a simple project.
FUCK YOU ESPECIALLY for just keeping the soulless simulator blank because i need a fucking mother fucking development certificate and provisioning profile to run a hello world on it.
FUCK YOU for forcing me to use 2 factor authentication to enroll on your SCAM developers program.
FUCK YOU for NOT FUCKING ALLOWING ME TO ENABLE 2 FACTOR AUTH WITHOUT REMEMBERING MY SECURITY QUESTIONS FROM 2012!!
FUCK YOU AGAIN for when I reset those through crappy crapOS THEN requiring me to FUCKING install Developer app from the shit store to enroll....
BUT FUCKING GOD DAMN FUCK YOU FOR GETTING ME TO WRITE THIS RANT BY THEN NOT ALLOWING ME TO ENROLL IN THE DEVELOPER PROGRAM THROUGH SAID APP BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE iCloud setup!!! I DON'T FUCKING WANT iCloud.... I WANT TO FUCKING MEET MY DEADLINE AND WRITE THIS APP!!!!!
JESUS WEEPS as I restart this absurdly slow crapbook in the hope that the option to sign in to iCloud will show up in settings next time....
(meanwhile I I contemplate the sisyphean absurdity of existence and how John C Lilly was probably right about the Solid State Entity grooming humanity for takeover by alien AI...)
I start to contemplate blowing out my brains instead as to sign into iCloud i need to remember some long lost code and now rinse wash and repeat mindless authentication steps OH SO VERY SECURE APPLE only to get the attached godforsaken error... i restart again as i wish the universe would restart itself...
...i begin to enjoy hitting my head against the desk as i try to understand why apple won't let me enroll in there development program... i guess it's because i'd kick their head in... after 2 hours no more... FUCK YOU APPLE TO ETERNAL INFINITE SUFFERING IN DEMONIC HELLS YOU WORTHLESS, PARASITIC, SCUMBAG ENTITY... GO CHOKE ON STEVE JOBS EXHUMED ROTTEN COCK!!! BASTARD TIME WASTING MOTHER FUCKERS!35 -
I hired a guy on upwork. His english is shit. But hes done the work correctly. Fast forward today he asked me "off topic question but do u have any female friend who can accompany me to fuck?"
WTF IS THIS SHIT
That is not professional AT ALL. I dont give a shit about the fact he cant get no bitches so hes begging me as if im some kind of a pimp. On upwork?? Gtfo.
Now i understand why companies want to hire only people with college DEGREES because they have went through the process of conforming and dont ask stupid shit questions. Eliminates a lot of bullshit and Neanderthals like this guy
Ffs38 -
*me and a bored coworker
me: bored as hell dude.
him: i have a fun game in mind.
me: shoot.
him: *brings his keyboard
him: type the string you can type the fastest. we will time it. i will start.
him: *types his name
him: your turn.
me: Scanner scanner = new Scanner(System.in);
him: the fuck is wrong with you?16 -
Wow this one deserves a rant. Where should I even begin? I got a new job for over half a year now doing work in an agency. We're building websites and online shops with Typo3 and Shopware (not my dream, but hey). All fine you might think BUT...
1) I have been working on the BIGGEST project we have all by myself since I started working at this company. No help, nobody cares.
2) If something goes wrong all the shit falls back to me like "wHy DiDnT yoU WoRk MoRE?". Seriously? How should one dev cover a project that's meant for at least two or three.
3) The project was planned four years ago (YES that's a big fat FOUR) and sat there for 3,5 years - nobody gave a fuck. I got into the company and immediately got the sucky shit project to work on.
4) I was promised some time to get familiar with the projects and tech we use and "pick something I like most to get started". Well that never happened.
5) I was also promised not to talk directly to our customers. Well, each week I was bombarded with insults, a shitload of work and nonsense by our customers because (you guessed it) I was obligated to attend meetings.
6) The scheduled time for a meeting was 30 minutes, sometimes they just went on for over two hours. Fml.
7) Project management. It does not exist. The company is just out to get more and more clients, hires more god damn managers and shit and completely neglects that we might need more devs to get all this crap finished. Nope, they don't care. By the way: this is not like a 200 employee company, it's more like 15 which makes it even sadder to have 4 managers and 3 devs.
8) We don't use trello (or anything to keep track of our "progress"), nobody knows the exact scope of the project, because it was planned FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO.
9) They planned to use 3 months on this project to get it finished (by the way it's not just an online shop, it has a really sophisticated product configurator with like 20 dependencies). Well, we're double over that time period and it is still not finished.
10) FUCK YOU SHOPWARE
11) The clients are super unsatisfied with our service (who would have guessed). They never received official documents from us (that's why nobody knows the scope), nor did they receive the actual screen design of the shop so we just have to make it up on the go. Of course I mean "I" by "we", because appearently it is my job to develop, design and manage this shit show.
12) My boss regularly throws me in front of the bus by randomly joining meetings with my client telling them the complete opposite of things that we discussed internally (he doesn't know anything about this stupid project)
13) FUCK YOU COLLEAGUES, FUCK YOU COMPANY, FUCK YOU SHOPWARE AND FUCK YOU STUPID CUSTOMERS.
14) Oh btw. the salary sucks ass, it's barely a couple of bucks above minimum wage. Don't ask me why I accepted the offer. I guess it was better than nothing in the meantime.
Boy that feels good. I needed that rant. But hey don't get me wrong. I get that dev jobs can be hard and sucky, but this is beyond stupidity that I can bear. I therefore applied for a dev job in research at a university in my dream country. Nice colleagues, interesting projects, good project management. They accepted me, gave me a good offer and I can happily say that in 6-7 weeks my current company can go fuck themselves (nobody knows the 10.000+ lines of code but me). Just light it up and watch it burn!21 -
Me 5 years ago : "Guys we are gonna have a perf..."
CEO : "Not now, we need to deliver that functionality asap"
Me 3 years ago : "Guys, performances/scalibiluity will hit us like a trucK'
CEO : "Not nowem a new functionality needs to be done ASAP"
Me 1 year ago : "We are gonna be hit by a tank. We won't even understand what happens"
CEO : "I'm sure we can manage"
2 Days ago : Plateform quasiment down, response time in MIONUTES instead of milliseconds, database on fire.
CEO : "WHAT THE FUCK !!! GO FIXC I ASAP WE CANNOT HAVE THAT SHIT HAPPEN".
This is a brief summaru of working in a startup.11 -
Dev: So how do you want this feature fixed?
Manager: It should work how it worked before.
Dev: I'm new to this feature, I don't know how it worked before or what is broken about it.
Manager: Well just make it work like it worked before.
Dev: I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKED BEFORE THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO MY JOB.
Manager: Just how it worked before!
Dev: ...
Manager: ...
Dev: fuck you18 -
A story about the shittiest boss I ever had.
We were a consulting company, I was leading the dev team. We're on the phone with a client who needs a change to the software we're maintaining for them.
Boss (mouthes at me): How long?
I (hold up 3 fingers, mouth back): 3 days
Boss (to client): You have it by tomorrow. *hangs up*
I: What the actual fuck?
Boss: You said 3 days, 3 times 8h is 24h, better order some pizza and Red Bulls for your guys.
He pulled stunts like this all the time and yet genuinely seemed surprised when I quit.7 -
So today I receive 23 emails on DMCA takedown notice from last year project (which is a personal project). I asked Github why they think it is violating their policy, they told me they receive tonnes of complaints from a company, they shared the chat and that's the ex-company that fired me.
Even the project is not related to them, they seem to want to "Cancel" me on Github. Bro this is Github, not Twitter! Cancel culture does not work here.
Some of my IoT projects they flag it In Github, which I believe my ex-company they don't do any IOT projects. How the fuck it is violating their so called "code nondisclosure"?33 -
Manager: Alright, we've decided we're gonna just going to accept PayPal and also credit card checkout through PayPal in the next two days!
Dev: ...
Manager: We can achieve this timeline, right?
Dev: ...
Manager: Alright, awesome to see your motivation! Let's do it!
Dev: YOU ANSWER PHONE CALLS, TALK TO PEOPLE AND 'STRATEGIZE' ALL DAY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO RELY ON THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE USING THE APP WITHOUT ERROR. THAT'S ON ME, NOT YOU, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Manager: ...
Dev: ...rant i love it everyone loves it great startup we are awesome we love it features without error clueless8 -
I attended a webcall with the cat on my shoulder, some manager complained it was not professional.
Now, I do not know who that was so I'll have to just shoot in the crowd and take innocent victims, but from now I'll attend every single call with as many cats on screen as possible. Possible outcomes, and both are fine by me, either they cut down the amount of unnecessary calls -as to limit the amount of catness on their screen- or learn to grow the fuck up because unlike some retard I get paid for working, not for busting the balls to the people that actually work.13 -
> in da zone, headphones beating, caffeine rushing through my veins, snack-stack at 75%, code and commands flowing like campaign promises, I'm one with the keyboard... I can feel it ~(◉_◉)~
roomie: Hey J! J!
me: ಠ_ಠ I'm kinda busy, what do you want?
roomie: Dude don't forget to pick up bla bla bla
me: Okay
> Headphones back on, feeling the h4ckx0r fire resurge through my gut like a majestic phoenix (not to be confused with taco tuesday gut fire)
roomie: J...J! dude also make sure bla bla bla
me: ಠ╭╮ಠ I know, you don't need to be so specific with me.
> Headphones on...about to hit play again...
roomie: Dude do you happen to know bla bla bla
(ಥ﹏ಥ)
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
FUCK! just tell me everything at once so I can go back to ignoring you and the irrelevant world around me!
I hate when people do this.9 -
Interviewer: I don't understand. With a resume and portfolio like yours you shouldn't be applying to companies like us. You should be setting your sights on companies like Google/Meta. You'd be bored here after everything you've done so far. I know we're offering more money than your current position but you're worth more believe me. I'm going to keep looking, and so should you. But you need to aim higher.
Dev: ...
Well fuck me I guess?21 -
The trend of referring to staff you just laid off as “alumni” is fucking stupid.
So is emailing and asking said recently laid off staff to join an “alumni committee” that involves, among other things: going to off sites and community events that the company will almost CERTAINLY be using for recruiting photos and “Best place to work” blog posts.
Just send me my final pay and fuck off already.5 -
....
I give up trying to write this.
I'm just too fucking pissed off.
My interactions with my micromanager make absolutely no sense -- she is clearly just trying to piss me off and blame me for everything, facts and reasoning be damned.
I tried detailing this week's examples (there are lots, and it's fucking Tuesday), but. screw it.
Fuck working for (and with) her.
She's a bitchface and a thundercunt.
I'm updating my resume and fucking off out of here.
God fucking damnit i hate her.23 -
Ok you fucks that don't believe in documentation - me included.
Document your shit, because one day, one day some dumb fuck is going to have to recreate your over engineered bullshit of a system and scale it up.
What would fucking be useful right now is ANY god forsaken insight into what in the flying fuck your code is doing, or not doing, or why it makes queries to a database with no fucking records in it 🤦♂️ and then attempts to use that data... in case it did exist.
There's nothing like unpicking a mess of bullshit, and documenting it, and then have to remake it on a new platform.
Documention saves lives kids, maybe your own life one day😬16 -
Client: When will you give me an update on this feature
Me: In two weeks
Client: okay that’s fine
Client proceeds to call me everyday asking me for an update🤨🤨
Fuck you sir.4 -
In the darkest of days, I discovered how to remote login to my computer at work through the company vpn. I then proceeded to work overtime at night in secret for a week or so, writing documentation and refactoring code.
I finally woke the fuck up and realized that I shouldn't be obsessing over proprietary codebases that do not belong to me, and I should put this misguided energy into my own projects.
So yeah, as a bad dev habit I'm working on fixing, this fits the bill.4 -
Fuck corporate bullshit. I do the job, you pay me, the rest is pointless crap.
You are not my family, I don’t base my whole self worth on working for you and mostly I really don’t care.
I’m really not cut out for this shit.9 -
Got a job as a controls engineer. Told my parents.
Parents: Good Job!
Brother: Bro! How you make so much money?
Me: I went to a tech school and learned how to do technical stuff.
Brother: Oh... fuck that shit!
Everyone was really supportive. Been slowly gravitating from controls to more pure software. But a lot of the software I write is for controls and automation of machines.7 -
We aren't allowed to boil water BOIL WATER
"We have to get Climate Neutral until we decided for a plan the kitchen is closed"
FUCK YOU I JUST WANT TO ENJOY MY COFFEE WHICH I CAN'T DRINK IN MY OFFICE ANYMORE BECAUSE OF SAME BULLSHIT
I get it we have to become climate neutral but holy fuck this can't be part of the solution to not use the kitchen anymore....53 -
FUCK CORPORATE EMAIL SPAM
AND I DON'T MEAN SOME SOME EXTERNAL SCAM/AD/PISHING EMAILS
I MEAN THE SHIT MY OWN COMPANY SENDS TO ME
LIKE:
"tHE WelLbeIng Course : SiGN In now!!!!!"
"#MoRnIngcOfFEE witH SOME cORporatE TWAt"
"Give togetHER : LETs circLE JerK OurSeLveS in SOMe fuCKiNg oNLiNe mEetInG !!!!!!!"
I DON'T FUCKING CARE !
I GET DOZENS (IF NOT FUCKING HUNDREDS) OF SUCH SHIT EMAILS EVERY DAY.
IF I GO ON VACATION, I HAVE TO SPEND HOURS TO SORT SHIT OUT
I HAVE HAD TO SET UP ELABORATE OUTLOOK RULES TO GET IT SORTED AUTOMATICALLY INTO SOME MANAGEABLE FOLDERS (AND SPEND SOME OF MY LIMITED TIME, HERE ON EARTH, TO DO SO)
AND GUESS WHAT
THANKS TO THOSE STUPID RULES I MISSED, ONE FUCKING IMPORTANT EMAIL
CAN YOU JUST STOP FUCKING SPAMMING ME ?!!!
FOR CHRIST SAKE AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS STUPID CORPORATE BULLSHIT
STOP SENDING IT TO ME9 -
rant¡
Client: "Can you add some logos to the homepage?"
Me: "Sure, I've just added it, take a look at staging."
Client: "Great, we can move it to live"
** 5 days later after it being moved to live and telling them I'm going on holiday. **
Client: "EMERGENCY change logo now, we need to change x logo. These logos look crappy too. How did this happen?"
Fuck this. I'm not employed by you, you don't have any right to speak to me like that. Especially after working tirelessly for your company.
**sent email back explaining how to upload files**
Told them not to contact me unless it's technically related.3 -
Fucking airstrike alert this morning in my federal state.
Yote me out of bed yelling "The russians are coming!"
Turns out it was planned but what the fuck, the closest siren is like 100 metres from my window.15 -
Fuck project setups that
- Have huge nested enterprise folder structures like Java
- Use tons of shell scripts / makefiles
- Have every config file in the root folder
- Don't tell me what I need / how to build
I know some of these can't really be changed easily, but fuck this cluttery mess!25 -
I fucking hate it when developers don’t respect user locale. My phone language is UK English, my Discord app language is UK English and my region is UK.
Then why the fuck is Discord showing me MM/DD/YYYY date format? How hard is it to pass locale when parsing time?20 -
Software is such an awe inspiring concept if you really think about it. We literally create our own reality from scratch. Binary for the wrong architecture? Don't worry we can emulate it. Network? Fully software defined. Heck, the servers don't even know if it's real or all in software. You know what? Fuck it! The machine isn't real either! All virtualized or software emulated
I'm really bad at putting things into words but the idea of software truly amazes me6 -
fuck me X'D Complained to nowtv that their player wasn't working because apparently it finds 'screen sharing' software running on my mac. This was their response19
-
While writing up this quarter's performance review, I re-read last quarter's goals, and found one my boss edited and added a minimum to: "Release more features that customers want and enjoy using, prioritized by product; minimum 4 product feature/bug tickets this quarter."
... they then proceeded to give me, not four+ product tickets, but: three security tickets (two of which are big projects), a frontend ticket that should have been assigned to the designer, and a slow query performance ticket -- on top of my existing security tickets from Q3.
How the fuck was I supposed to meet this requirement if I wasn't given any product tickets? What, finish the monster tickets in a week instead of a month or more each and beg for new product tickets from the product manager who refuses to even talk to me?
Fuck these people, seriously.8 -
If you claim that you are a senior developer and you need help fixing something that you broke and your entire question is ‘Please help me fix it I don’t understand’, then go fuck yourself.6
-
You know what, fuck microshit to fuck town and back again.
What part of disabling "allow the computer to turn of this device to save power"
DO YOU NOT FUCKIJG UNDERSTAND!
MY FUCKING USB'S ARE GOING FUCKING MENTAL SWITCHING ON AND OFF LIKE A DRUNKEN HOBO YOU COCK FUCKS.
my week is a complete and utter shit of a week as it is, I don't need this bullshit on top of it too.
#Microsoft, fix your fucking shit already!4 -
Fuck Reddit admins. Fuck them in ass with a rusted iron rod. Then pour in some liquid steel and dehydrate them to death.
Bloody fucks.
Remember the toxic girl who stalked and harassed me? She did that on Reddit.
After multiple reports to faggot admins, no action was taken against her multiple accounts.
I ended up creating few alt accounts for my mental well-being.
I have been contributing fairly well from all my accounts earning community trust and reputation, even behind the mask of anonymity.
Now, day before yesterday, a teen started abusing me for no reason on a local sub. I ended up ignoring.
Next morning I am notified that admins banned my account permanently.
What the fuck! I did not violate any policy and yet I was kicked out.
I raised an appeal for those fags to look into this and uplift the ban.
Fuckers banned all my accounts permanently without giving any reason.
Instead of taking action against retards who harass people, these bhenchods ban people who contribute in a good way.
I truly wish, that the person who made this decision rots to death while feeling the pain of regret.
I am soooo fucking annoyed. I have been using Reddit for many good reasons and have found it really helpful in various areas of my life.12 -
I find smart watches so rude.
You are talking to someone and the bloody watch goes dinggg..
So the person you are talking to, stops listening, checks their smart watch, and performs whatever action they want before getting back to the conversation.
I fucking hate it. Not only you are rude to me, but also broke the chain of thought and rhythm of the conversation.
Fuck you and fuck your smart watch.
The other day I saw the office boy and the janitor wearing a smart watch. Mind you, the salaries of these folks is not more than $250 a month. Yet they have a top quality smart phone and a smart watch, where the combo usually costs more than their monthly salary.
It's important to consume and show off, than to make the bloody ends meet.
A monkey world.24 -
Holy fuck nvidia. Why the fuck you want me to login to your fucking app in order to download a fucking driver. You also want me to click a fucking link that you sent to my email for verification on every fucking login? Why on earth someone would stole my fucking nvidia account? To see which drivers I use? What the fuck nvidia? Oh wait. DO YOU DARE ASK ME TO SETUP TWO FACTOR AUTH TO SECURE MY ACCOUNT?!? What the fuck? Even if I put my credentials online no one would care to login my fucking nvidia account. Just let me download my fucking driver!6
-
Out of all the bugs, the most annoying are the ones that come out and make me say "WTF?!?!? WHY THE FUCK HAS IT BEEN WORKING FOR THE LAST 2 YEARS??!!?!!??? THERE"S NO WAY IT COULD HAVE!"
When the bug surfaces, you investigate and see that it indeed IS a bug and there's no way it would ever work w/o a fix. But then SOMEHOW it's been working just fine for years....
It's like server elves went on strike and said "no more, it's enough covering that bug - it's time you fix it, lazy-ass idiot!"11 -
Fuck long covid / ME/CFS.
This is day two of being bedridden.
I want to have energy again. And be able to move and do even simple things without collapsing for hours or days at a time.
._.11 -
How can business majors be so gullible?! Who the fuck poisoned their minds with the app hype ?!!
Seriously my tears are 90% from laughter and 10% shame for humanity.
Friend: "Dude I'd like to consult with you the idea of an app...etc"
Me: "Sounds nice, got a business plan?"
Friend: "Yes, but well...you see... development has already started"
Me: "oh cool, how's that going?"
Friend: "well I already made an upfront payment of 2K dollars"
Me: "sounds kind of excessive for the amount of work...wait did you said upfront payment?"
Friend: "yeah, we calculated 30k total"
😐
Me:"umm...that software must be...special...? Can I see it?"
Friend: "that's the thing, they haven't delivered"
Me: " did they give you mockups? A development plan? Demo? Anything?"
Friend: "umm no"
Me: "a god damn receipt?"
Friend shows me a piece of paper with the name of the guy and 2K written on it.
Friend: "he says he's been busy, I wanted your advice"
I blame Eduardo Saverin's fate and my friend's on college's failure to teach "real world assholes 101"7 -
Manager: we should arrange regular catchups, I have several Monday morning, how about 10:30, that'd be 9:30 your time?
Me inside: dude, we both know I struggle to be up in time for the scrum at 10, do you really think I'm going to be any better at 9:30?
Me outside: How about 10:30 after scrum?
Manager: OK, that works, I have half an hour between meetings
Me: Thank fuck.4 -
I love when employers reach out to you like desperate fuck boys on a dating app.
Tell me more about your “amazing” benefits package that’s indistinguishable from any other, your PTO that is as “unlimited” as my phone plan, and the empty mustard packets you acquired in series Z funding.
I’ve got all day to watch your dance play out its milky chance. -
Riddle me this Batman, why am I constantly afraid that other developers are going to fuck up my work after my time on the codebase?14
-
!dev
This may be a petty rant, but It's been grinding my gears for a few months now... I fucking hate ads, it's starting to be incredibly ridiculous. You start a video... 2 ads... you watch for 2 minutes, another 2 ads (and no, adblock isn't a solution, that only works on PC, not devices)?!!! You start an App... ads, you listen to music... ads... you go to google... ads, you click a website... ads... you look out of your window... ads... you walk down the street... ads... ads.. ads...
Seriously, what the fuck have we done?!! As a society we fucked up so badly... Look, no matter how many times you offer me an ad for a furniture, I'm not going to buy a fucking furniture on just any random day. You are completely wasting my already limited time... If you don't have any ads to show me, then don't show me ads, fuck you, you fucking piece of shit software... How is it that it used to be enough to click away one static, non-intrusive ad, but now 6-8 15-20 second ads, popups and intrusive, mid-content ads are the norm?! And then a piece of shit like MoviePass DARES, FUCKING DARES, To work on some sort of camera-enabled check that you actually LOOK at the ads?!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU RETARDED PIECE OF BLACK MIRROR SHIT, FUCK OFF WITH THIS BRAINWASHING BULLSHIT, I'M ALLERGIC TO IT, FUCK ALL OF THIS.
I fucking promise that any software I'll make will be either free and open source, or paid only by alternative means, no ads, not ever. I will never fucking add to this retarded bullshit. Never fucking ever will I lower myself on a level where I need to actively waste the time and psyche of thousands or millions of people to get money. Fucking hell.... As if the world doesn't suck enough already, we treat humans as cattle, and It's pissing me off... In the past I used to just delete any app that annoyed me with ads, but what the fuck do I do about youtube since it's the de-facto content source on the internet? And worse, my friends and family watch youtube.. even if I avoid it that doesn't mean the problem is solved... There needs to be an alternative, and paying subscriptions for every single fucking service on the web isn't a solution. Even worse with the current economy... I'd rather eat real food, than buy shit like premium on ShitTube, Fuckify, all the random news website I might read and every app or game I start once every two months... Shit like ad-less premium accounts aren't giving me an alternative, just a way to shoot myself in the foot longterm...
Godbless everyone that releases open source software, apps, tools, websites and such. I hope to god decentralized alternatives to youtube need to happen and not in the web3 way, because that's also retarded...
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shit, Fuck Shit, Piss, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, Retards, Fucking absolutely disgusting pieces of shit... ... alright, I got it out of my system, but It's gonna be right back the next time YouTube forces me to look at 20 seconds of something I already skipped 48 times today...59 -
Fuck strict corporate software policies, just let me WORK (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
When I came to this new workplace I was given a Windows laptop. And it came with a bunch of pre-installed corporate stuff and policies like automatic mandatory frequent driver and windows updates. Although I prefer linux, I thought, maybe I'll switch later, first let's see how everything works here, since on Windows I had all VPNs, certificates and other corpo stuff pre-configured out of the box. But imagine missing a standup, because of windows update in the morning. Or missing audio, because of drivers update in the middle of the meeting. And make it every week or so. Also, I couldn't not install my portable DAC drivers, because limited access, blah blah fuck me. And many other small things that I vaguely remember by now.
Later corpo decided to add a tracking plugin into a browser and that was it for me. Gladly, corpo policy allows using Linux (they have their own modified Ubuntu version), which has MUCH less of this crap. I mean, it's still somewhat managed by corpo (like I can't get rid of duplicated PPA, lol.. and sometimes I need to wait like 1-2 mins to login to my laptop because of login server timeout), but that's still better...
Linux, home, sweet home, I missed you <3
Also, I dodged the bullet. Win11 upgrade was a funny shit show to watch :D1 -
Me: I have a meeting in 20 minutes, I should get out of bed.
Also me: Thank fuck nobody bothers with cameras in meetings coz I'm often in bed.23 -
Story of WTF happened to my job
During my employment in (name censored) was stressful, They claimed I didn't complete my task on time which they constantly remove me from git and documentation(which have to follow their style of returning data), I kept emailing, slack, WhatsApp calls them, mostly and predictably got ghosted and blocked.
So How the fuck am I supposed to push my code or code without the documentation (I can actually, prevent refactoring every time, following the documentation is the good way to go.)
On the sprint review, they will complain about me not committing and pushing the code. (I did commit locally, but can't push, they removed me from the fucking repo) and not done.
Tried reasoning, telling the obvious reasons with them, doesn't work. They come out the second reason of me "NOT COMMUNICATING". Sometimes I can get to git merge from dev to my branch and get tonnes of fucked up code. I reviewed the code, and I can't tolerate it.
Lately, I overheard them mocking and cheering me about to get fired over a zoom meeting (I was in there, they forgot to remove me). Their conversation is about me being a coloniser, a jerk, betraying Chinese ancestors for being not Chinese enough.
I was like: "Why the fuck does their conversation sound like they are tucked in the Qin dynasty?"
Frequently I got labelled as unprofessional.
How is cussing about my ancestors, personal and life a professional behaviour?16 -
Some company invited me for coding challenge. Tbh, I can't be arsed. Why can't they look into my fucking git? There is way more info there about how I actually work, so why the fuck not look at what I have done than their fucking exam project?
Urghhhhhhh24 -
You guys wanna know why I rage so much at the 🤡🤡🤡's I work with?
I shit you not, this is a ticket in our "to do" section of our Jira.
what even is ticket linking??!?!?
what even are tickets??!?!?!
or better yet.... what even the fuck is jira?!?!?! I've only been using it for over a year, give me some time to figure out how to use it!!!!!!
I don't know, maybe i'm the asshole. But at least I don't feel like a 🤡7 -
How my year has gone so far...
Management: Bobby, we are replacing your old hammer.
Me: Ok cool.
Management: Well actually there's so much going on...here is a wrench instead.
Me: But, this isn't a hammer.
Management: Yes we are aware but we are busy and cannot buy a hammer for a several more months.
Me: How the fuck am I suppose to hammer nails with this?
Management: Oh gosh you are right. That sounds difficult. We will grind down one side of it so you have a flat surface to hammer in those nails.
Management: Oh and by the way, those nails are super important so don't screw anything up.12 -
covid is making life hard again. I can't just stop in the middle of a research project because I can't access the robots anymore. *makes angry noises* I already canceled a human study because of covid, so this feels super unfair.
but you know what pisses me off even more? the govt complaining about numbers being high but not doing jackshit about active disinfection of air and public spaces (China did that, btw) or providing cheap disposable masks for people.
Also, I'm not as much afraid of getting covid as I am afraid of giving it to the head of the department who is a 70+ yrs old genius in his own right.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
... This is shit.40 -
My level of frustration with Microsoft is growing to a point that I'm unable to contain it.
They buy Github, it was a great tool for developers because is FUCKING WORKED! New features were never beta tested on users unless they requested it.
Why in the absolute fuck am I getting all these new experimental bullshit features that literally make it harder for me to do my god damned job?
They provide me NOTHING but grief and sleepless weekends while I fix the god damned pipeline that's worked perfectly fine for YEARS.
Your business model is bad and your products are SHIT.
Fuck you Microsoft, I cannot even stress it enough. If I had a time machine that could go back 5 years and my options were: Tell the world about Covid, make sure Trump never became president, or stop the Github purchse. I would hunt down and brutally attack the team of executives that decided to buy Microsoft.
Words cannot adequately describe how much I want Microsoft to fuck off. If the company was a person and they died in a house fire it wouldn't be enough.
I just want a VCS that does what it's supposed to do. I don't need pipelines, I don't need image repos, I don't need static code analysis.
I JUST NEED A FUCKING VCS THAT CONTROLS VERSIONS OF SOFTWARE YOU IGNORANT FUCKS.20 -
Performance Review: You’ve slowed down.
My head: I never get to code cause all we do is meetings. Like no shit I have slowed down. Why the fuck do we have 3 days just full of meetings that I don’t even contribute to ?! I’m not gonna do overtime for this shit
Me (actually): Ah, shucks! Guess we can work on that huh?32 -
Ok, YOU fuck up THREE (!) times, and send me new text for the app, each time saying its '100% finished, no errors' and expect me (each iteration) to do it IMMEDIATELY
Why don't you go fuck yourself, do your damn job, do it right, and THEN contact me instead of running around like an childish preschooler with a pair of scissors4 -
!Dev
Not all Asians are the SAME. Let me explain, I got a coworker who goes by the name "Lau Dum Fuk" (which I learnt that it is pronounced "loud doom fok"). I was so stupid that I pronounced his name as "Loud Dumb Fuck" very awkward. I am Asian but I pronounced Asian name wrong . Who started with the idea that all Asian are the same?16 -
Jesus titty fucking Christ people are stupid. I hate everyone in the software development lifecycle that isn’t a developer or isn’t technically minded. Everyone else seems to be a fucking goofy arse mother fucker.
I just got in trouble because I fixed a defect that never should have been fixed, even though in yesterdays standup they brought it up and asked me what the status of it was. Apparently I was just supposed to estimate the defect and see how long it would take to fix. Why the fuck wouldn’t we do that in a grooming session or a sprint planning session, you are just begging to confuse the devs. Absolute mud sharks.9 -
"due to the amount of applicants, we can't respond to every applicant email"
let me translate the manager-speak for you: "due to us being stuck-up douchebags, we feel as though our company is more valuable than literally the 2 minutes of time it takes to write a yes or no email, so we'd rather keep you hanging and never give you feedback. oh yeah we're also not professional at all"
god why the FUCK am i even applying for jobs, each place is more shittier and toxic than the next5 -
Email: "we have carried out a phishing test company wide"
Me: Nice!
Email: "results are here"
Me: wow, already done? Didn't even see the email. I must've subconciously discarded it! Damn, I'm good!!
Email: "the test was carried out yesterday"
Me: *was OOO y-day*
Me: fuck12 -
Imagine being on vacation and the first notification you see on your phone in the morning is from your colleague on Teams:
"Hey! Are you available for a call despite the vacation?"
Fml and fuck me for being too kind to even spend time answering his questions instead of ghosting him.16 -
My Lazy Habits:
1. Not testing my own code thoroughly... cuz fuck that. That's the tester's/QA's job.
2. I create slack commands to get certain things done, so I dont have to get up and open my laptop each time I receive a ticket.
3. Ask more time for development that I actually need so I can fit in couple naps here and there.
4. Falsely claiming that I am busy when someone invites me over meet or a phone call. Like just text me.
5. Factoring my laziness in when I design features LOL.1 -
You've just sent slides upon slides to me called "feedback" but in each you just describe the behavior of what happens on screen.
News flash: I KNOW WHAT THE CURRENT BEHAVIOUR IS. IF I WANTED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT THE CURRENT BEHAVIOUR IS, I WOULD ASK, BUT OBVIOUSLY, I CAN DO THAT MYSELF, SO INSTEAD, I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD DESCRIBE THE DESIRED BEHAVIOUR YOU ARE SEEKING, THAN LITERALLY SAYING 'THE BUTTON NAVIGATES ME TO THE NEXT SCREEN WHEN I PRESS IT'
YOU FUCK
DUMB FUCK
CLWON SHIOWEIHOP'ASDFGHIO;DFJBKL;HDFG ADSBFHKL;ASDGIOPSDAFJOFEJAIOLADS FSAD ASAAAASDGADGSFADGS6 -
Quarantine, WFH and sleep combo is really not working out for me.
I'm unable to sleep. Therefore I'm wide awake at 4AM, but will sleep for 12 hours when I eventually manage to fall sleep. But then, I have meetings tomorrow and won't be able to sleep all day.
Overall, fuck covid.
Thank you for listening.8 -
Just installed linux (Ubuntu 16.04.3 LTS x64) because windows update was being a cunt, instantly, it all fell into place and I got it fully running with minecraft (using generic driver, but it actually works pretty well, don't worry I will get the proper one tomorrow) and a desktop icon for it within two hours compare to windows (update) taking 4 days to do barely any updates, not accepting java or graphics drivers, which it requires because fuck opengl with the default drivers.
Fuck windows. Hooray for linux!
Now back to programming...
Thanks for putting up with me but I just need to vent because I felt like I couldn't program (and I didn't) because of FUCKING DOOLALY WINDOWS 8!
Btw thanks to the local charity shop for introducing me to (SUSE) linux when I was like 11, giving me a hope in hell of using linux. I now have around 11 bootable linux disks and 1 bootable flash.rant all praise ubuntu hail linux ranting my fucking arse off java works fuck windows opengl by default3 -
For the first time I am feeling like.... I hate my job.
Agile and Scrum can be fucked, but at least there is a work methodology. I was hired by a company being run the old school way.
These guys never heard of git??
- Fuck you. We never used git and neither should you.
Client company does not want to give me push/pull access to their gitlab instance??
- Fuck you, you can use our RDP server for that.
Project planning features be damned, they've got email, Teams and videocalls!
Can I develop in peace? Fuck no, I have to give IT support to the guy who hired me.
Our timeline is defined IN A FUCKING WORD DOCUMENT FOR FUCKS SAKE. I can't connect Issues to milestones in a Word doc
Oh, and the customer is running everything on prem. If there is a need to scale up, FUCK ME. I should have specified 20 machines from the get go or gtfo. We're using 2 machines to run 8 different services that are going to be ingesting and computing data.
They want state of the art on a cheapskate.
And I have nothing else lined up at the moment. Although I am soon to renew the contract... This contract binds me with professional responsibility for a project being ran by people who do not give a single fuck about optimizing the work process.3 -
That log4j RCE is some fucking nasty business!!! Its exploits have already been observed multiple times in our company scope.
Time for some unplanned Saturday evening hot-patches :/
P.S. Why the fuck leave such a feature enabled as default??? I mean really, whose brilliant idea was "let's leave the message parser enabled as well as the LDAP query hooks... BY FUCKING DEFAULT!!!"
I mean really, is anyone using that? ANYONE?
And then they laugh at me when I say "stay away from frameworks", "use as little libraries as possible", "avoid foreign code in your codebase",...
you know what.... JOKE'S ON YOU!10 -
Fucking Microsoft.
Search for a message in Teams. Find it. Want to see the reply sent immediately after it. Look for "jump to message" button. Doesn't exist.
Find some forum post from 2 years ago about this issue, where Microsoft hits with the classic "Not supported, please submit feedback here:" with a dead link.
What the fuck. How a company with so many resources and such widely used products can make such a PILE OF UNUSABLE GARBAGE is literally unfathomable to me.
What the fuck is the point of being able to search for a message if I can't see what gets sent right after or right before it? My god it makes me want to nosedive through sheetrock into the nearest accessible stud.11 -
taxes. what the actual fuck? I finally graduated and got my first 6 figure job, only to find out the federal government basically takes 1/3 of my pay??? WHAT??? Why are we all okay with this? I feel fucking robbed. I worked so hard to get here, so many sleepless nights, so many all nighters studying, just to get 1/3 of my money stolen from me? what the fuck?????50
-
Ok might as well share my misadventure on a phone screen:
It started pretty normal, the guy talks about his background, the position, and asked me about my background.
Move on to the language trivia; I’m not good at memorizing language features, but I guess it’s what people want, so I’ll be working on that down the road… Anyways it didn’t go well, and the guy somehow made me feel like an idiot even on the questions I got right.
It’s really awkward at this point… but let me tell you I was not prepared for what I can only describe as the fucking coding portion of the phone screen…
No computer. No pencil or paper. No whiteboard. Over the phone I’m saying: “class Dog with a capital ‘D’ colon newline tab def space bark open parentheses close parentheses….”
what the actual fuck4 -
Bro every time this guy wants to create a PR, rather than branching off another branch and raising a PR to get it merged back in, this dude creates a fork and then makes a PR to merge the fork back in.
Holy. Fuck. Please don’t do this. It makes checking out your “branch” a massive pain in the ass. Plus, it’s totally unnecessary, and I can’t even check it out to begin with because your forked repo is fucking private you stooge. If we were in completely different orgs or doing open source I’d understand a fork. Not if you’re sitting right fucking next to me!!!!!11116 -
Fuck apple for making it as hard as fuck to sign in to my fucking apple id. Because my ex wife was my "trusted" number, I couldn't get an authentication code. Tech support told me it would take 3 days to reset my password.
After 3 hours of fucking around, I finally was able to reset my password.
I've been trying to get my kids to watch stupid Indiana Jones for years. They finally agreed. After going through 3 hours of BS so I could buy the movie, we start watching it. Literally, as the boulder is rolling down toward Dr. Jones, the movie stops suddenly so that Apple can verify my purchase!
Then, it asks me to buy it again!9 -
This was interview in so called startup.
BTW I don't get point in company calling themselves as startup when they are 5-6 years old, just call your self small sized company.
1 - online interview with HR, Normal.
2 - online technical interview - 1 hour of discussion with Lead.
3. On-fucking-site technical interview - ~1 hour of detailed technical discussions.
4. Coding task- submitted successfully
5. Zoom meeting to discuss on coding task - just told it was good and started discussion on their dead project which was unrelated to job position but I've worked with that kind of thing so it was fine.
6. Trial Day Onsite - Gave me to draw a fucking BPMN chart - fuck you motherfuckers - I knew it was waste of time.
Fuck this kind of Hiring process which takes >1.5 month.9 -
"get lost"
The fucker was just saying he would not help me, but in the end I should have taken the advice literally and got the fuck out of that fucked up place. -
Oh boy do I sure love designing site layouts for mobile! The limited screen space makes me think about what's absolutely necessary to have on screen at any given time, and I need to account for both portrait and landscape. I love a good challenge - aaaand done! Time to check it out.
Ah, fuck, the browser has completely disregarded the text sizes I specified and headers of any size take up the entire screen space.
Ah, fuck, the browser has decided that 4 pixels of padding should be 32.
Ah, fuck, the browser has made the executive decision that images should be whatever size it's in the mood to display today.
Ah, fuck, all this enormous text has also wrapped itself to one letter per line.
Just a wild thought here: maybe mobile browsers should actually respect CSS rules.3 -
Job posting: "we require 1.5 years of experience in iOS development"
Also job posting: *doesn't mention a requirement for a degree*
Me: "Cool, this looks exactly like a job for me, I'll send them my résumé!
Recruiter returns to me a day after with this:
"You said you have no work experience, we said in the posting that you need to have 1.5 years of work experience"
THE JOB POSTING DOES NOT MENTION THIS ANYWHERE, THEY ONLY MENTION EXPERIENCE IN IOS DEVELOPMENT
WHY MAKE IT SO AMBIGUOUS AND THEN CHANGE YOUR STANCE
When I finally get a fucking response from a recruiter after sending my résumé to dozens upon dozens of companies, it's a bullshit response.
FUCK YOU.
Note: I am aware of the massive amount of AltRant crashes, I am sorry for making it worse. I need to work on 2 more major final tests that I must pass, but I think I will start fixing some of the crashes today.56 -
Problems with redis... timeout everywhere...
30k READs per minute.
Me : Ok, How much ram are we actually using in redis ?
Metrics : Average : 30 MB
Me ; 30 MB, sure ? not 30 GB ?
Metrics : Nop, 30 MB
Me : fuck you redis then, hey memory cache, are you there ?
Memory cache : Yep, but only for one instance.
Me ok. So from now on you Memory cache is used, and you redis, you just publish messages when key should be delete. Works for you two ?
Memeory cache and redis : Yep, but nothing out of box exists
Me : Fine... I'll code it my selkf witj blackjack and hookers.
Redis : Why do I exist ?2 -
HR is getting so desperate they are prescheduling me interviews attached with CVs in the hopes that I will interview the candidates for a senior, even though the candidates have no experience whatsoever in embedded software programming. Workday, JIRA and Excel does not count you absolute fucknuggets.
For fuck sake, I asked management to hire new grads or juniors, at least I can get a person motivated to learn, but I swear they just don't listen.
They just are content with wasting my time lol3 -
Why the fuck do managers think beacuse a component has been build by another developer a shit ton of time ago, we can still reuse that fucking code.
For fucks sake, I had to rebuild a whole fucking map component that needed contextual filter and the fuckers just add extra functionality without consulting me. And gave me a tight schedule bc the customer, who btw disappeared for 6 months, will be mad for wasting his precious fucking time.
Fuck these clients.11 -
I love getting a fucking email for every fucking change, instead of getting a list of desired changes.
You know what? Fuck this, I'm tired of being the nice guy, I'm not even getting paid for this, and you expect me to do it expediently on a Sunday. I'm done, you can find someone else to piss off for free.2 -
People distressed the fuck out of me today.
So now, 2:18 in the morning, I'm in bed, wide awake. Because anxiety is shit.
... And I have to be up early to do the work that I didn't do today.
Smh...
Why do people have to be such dicks?24 -
Ok I'm seriously getting sick of this shit, my new manager wants us to have the fucking 12 hour night shifts from the office for .....no reason??!! for her own fucking entertainment I suppose!
I knew the day would come where my happy times at the new job would be over, my target now is stay 3 more months so I've been there for at least a year then see what happens. fuck me.4 -
I mean... I'm not even trying to find reasons to complain about Microsoft or MS Teams. They find those reasons for me.
Out of the blue Teams stopped working. There is a button "Try again" and a link "Sign out".
The button works, but still I'm loaded into the same page.
The link is not even clickable... sooo.. emmm... How the fuck do I sign out then?????? [I know how to as I'm tech-savvy, but Margaret from accounting surely would have a hard time]3 -
Being a programmer is basically like seeing all the cool tech that you always wanted to work with slip right out of your fucking hands and being replaced by an old system that bad programmers have managed to fuck up completely beyond saving. It’s like watching a bunch of monkeys trying to create a human out of decaying flesh, but when you question them, they look at you weird. It’s like wanting to create all these crazy cool animations and innovative experiences, but you end up spending most of your time trying to get a fucking image to line up correctly in marketing emails. My pride has been stripped from me.11
-
I'm managed by idiots who don't fully realize the nightmare they're creating.
They're making small operational changes, but hundreds of them with zero evidence to back their claims up.
When I bring up how it actually works, and how operations actually work I'm told I don't use the tools as much as management does and that my feedback is limited to how I use the tool.
So now I'm just gambling that they won't fuck up too bad before I get that sweet sweet sellout money and just letting them fuck everything up they want without any warnings from me.
I'm quickly learning that the phrase of the year is, "Fuck em". -
"Ability to work under pressure and work with cross functional teams to meet tight deadlines."
Nope. Nope.
Fuck the managers of whatever shithole you want to drag me to. Nope.1 -
Doing e-learning for a job
One of the examples provided:
"You could be late for work (fail to meet your objective of being on time) because you're hit by a car whilst crossing the road"
Are you fucking kidding me, I think being late to work would be the least of my worries. Fuck corporate bullshit.18 -
I just don't get my coworkers. They tweak designs, they tweak functionality, but no task is made.
They just simply update designs in Figma, without notifying anyone or just msg me on Slack what to change...
How the fuck do you guarantee that all those tweaks will get reflected to the app? How do you guarantee I won't forget? How do you guarantee QA will test your stupid tweaks?2 -
Dear project managers.
Go fuck yourselves, stop hindering me in my ability to do my job. My job is to get the job done, I know exactly what exists where. If I request something, fucking get me it you useless cunts.
You're wasting time and resources with your lack of technical knowledge and making life difficult for the rest of us.
Sincerely, Frustrated Developers everywhere. -
When I worked in a non-dev env, the best part was that I was done with work after working hours. I didn't stress out or even think about the issues. It was something for tomorrow or someone else to worry about. And so, I was not mentally exhausted and stressed out all the damn time.
So, I shall try to bring that mentality to my dev life too. With this new position I'm starting soon, I really want to do well for at least a few years. And that would need me to chill the fuck out. Particularly after work.5 -
Background: I'm on autism spectrum so I get anxious easily and social situations just generally fuck me up. I also have social anxiety disorder. Well, it's just an extension of my ASD really. Making phone calls in uncertain situation is the worst thing ever and I do not do it.
F*ck Microsoft certification exams. I applied for exam accommodations due to my background. (Someone is constantly watching you, you can't move even your eyes off the screen, yeah, screw that. I need to fidget/stim a lot.)
Got accepted. Now I just need to reserve an exam time THROUGH PHONE.
Someone reeeaaally didn't think this through. Normal exam can be reserved online. >.>1 -
Fuck this client's IT department. They're a bunch of Microsoft asslickers.
How am I supposed to push code to your self-hosted GitLab instance if you restrict me to Citrix RDP????? No OpenVPN access because I'm on Linux?? Seriously? Because I am not using any of your laptops?
FUCK YOU DUMBASSES, I COULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN YOU AND I JUST PLAY WITH LINUX.
When I said I only needed terminal access I would have never imagined they were thinking of Putty inside an RDP. What a steaming shit.
Oh you guys don't have a secret management service as any enterprise should? Oh I cannot add a secret management service as part of the solution I am building for you guys because "Hurr Durr yOu HaVe NoT pUt ThIs In ThE pRoJeCt PrOpOsAl sO nO"
Fuck you guys. You guys only don't want to move to the cloud to not lose your jobs. I would be far more productive than relying on you pieces of dumbassery.
They are all having each others back in using shit technology and practices.7 -
Fuck you ios,storyboad,xibs,xcode. FUCK OFF!! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES. Literally giving me migrane with your fucking ass constraints!! Fuck you xcode for not having a terminal. Ios is utterly bullshit. Has fucking all kind of devices that I have to set constraint. Fuck you macos. You are slower than a snail. How on earth do you take so much time to build!!
Width, height, constraints, my ass! What is this fucking logic bro. Fuck you apple for making so many device of different sizes and then hiring us to set constraints. Warning warning warning oh what a load of crap!
I would rather die than set your fucking ass constraints.7 -
Boss activates encryption on dashboard
we installed the software
2 machines get locked out coz drive got encrypted with bitlocker
No one received the 48 bit key from bitlocker
I loose all my work coz the only way to use my laptop was to format the drive
Me as the technical guy and knowing how encryption works i just formatted the drive
Boss blames me for the cluster fuck8 -
God damnit Quora!
I stumbled upon some article or post or whatever they are called on quora.
And I really wanted to read the comments on it. It wouldn’t let me unless I log in.
I normally don’t do that but I thought I’ll make an exception because I really wanted to read the comments.
So I clicked on that comments button and logged in (via google). First it presented me some modal dialog to pick 5 things that interest me. And it was mandatory. Fine… I picked those 5 things.
Finally it presents me the list of articles or whatever. But not the same list that I have seen before I was logged in. Scrolling, the article of my interest is not there. God damnit! Just show me my comments for fucks sake.
I go back to that tab where I was not logged in to somehow copy the link of that article or the link to the comments section. But it doesn’t let me. Some bullshit pseudo smart layer of crap is preventing me from doing anything.
Then I abuse the fucking share link to visit it in my logged in tab to finally see the comments that I came for.
And the comments weren’t even worth it. God! What a waste of time! And how can one fuck up a fucking forum so much?
It will be a lesson for me not to visit Quora ever again.4 -
So the company didn't make an offer in the end because I was "not motivated enough" and "too interested in 4-day-week / PTO". Yeah right, fuck me for wanting to have a life outside work. *sigh*3
-
Registering a new account for microsoft teams:
`Your password cannot contain a space, &# characters combination, or the following characters: < >`
Are they storing the passwords in plain text? Are they not sanitizing the input? Why the fuck would they care if I put motherfucking emojis in my password? What the fuck are you doing to the passwords, Microsoft? TELL ME.4 -
Just got a new job at an old school hardware company. The codebase is giving me heart attack. They don't care about dev experience or code navigation at all. Every attempts to modernize the codebase is so half assed. All patches are so bloated that make the codebase even worse.
Frontend is migrated from prototype-oop-jquery cluster fuck to AngularJS, then finally angular. Holy moly, all business logics are baked into UI "classes" using prototype chain. When they migrated to AngularJS, someone simply added a wrapper to that jQuery cluster fuck class and overwrote all the prototype with a 10k +lines file. Since all the methods are hidden in either prototype, JS object, or callback function, it's impossible to trace the data pipeline using IDE when "go to definition" on update() method gives you all the update methods/string in all objects/classes. And they don't care about immutability. References are taken out, renamed, and mutated everywhere. Finding the source of a bug is fucking guessing game.
I don't know what trick they use that makes cLion static analyzer fail.
And there is no unit test or spec doc.
Fuck me dead3 -
I'm forced by my job to use this fucking unusable piece of horse shit also know as a Windows operating system.
And it's not only that I have experienced every fucking corner case bug that is possible to occur in our universe.
Not only that that for last 2 years I seen more blue screen than blue sky.
Not only that forced updates fucked my schedules so many times that now I'm really *afraid* to turn off my computer off because I have zero guarantee that I will be able to restart it in a reasonable amount of time.
No, neither of those broke me.
The thing that kills me everyday is, piece by piece ...
WHY THE FUCK THERE IS NO SINGLE, USEABLE, SANE TERMINAL EMULATOR ON WINDOWS
I JUST WANT TO TYPE SOME COMMANDS, COPY/PASTE TEXT AND SCROLL
IS IT TO MUCH ?????
FUCK CMD
FUCK POWERSHELL
FUCK WSL
FUCK ALL THOSE WANKY THIRD-PARTY EMULATORS
FUCK EVERY-COMMAND-LINE-REALATED THING ON WINDOWS
FUCKING USLESS SHIT
CANT EVEN DO SOME SSH COPY/PASTE SHIT
WITHOUT SOME WEIRD CHARACTERS POPING OUT EVERYWHERE.
AND FUCK THAT EVERY ONE OF THOSE MUST HAVE TOTTALY DIFFERENT SET OF KEY SHORTCUTS
AND THAT FUCKING BELL
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN PUT A FUCKING BELL SOUND AS DEFAULT SETTING ??
GO TO HELL MICROSOFT
I WANT MY LINUX BACK7 -
I’m already irritated by all the unwanted stimulus. I don’t need search engines, websites or whatever that fuck showing me stuff I did not ask for. It’s really distracting and makes it hard to focus on one thing. I’m trying to adjust to a lifestyle like this but it’s bloody difficult in this day and age.3
-
"Hey Bobby, can you do XYZ for me? I can do it myself but it's such a pain in the ass"
So why the fuck would I do it if you can do it yourself? Guess what it's a pain in the ass for me too! And it's not even my problem!2 -
So I made a message board and posted it here at devrant
Now there’s a user with username Ass and I don’t know what to do about that situation…. I don’t want to remove him from user, but all he posts is ass…
Fuck me20 -
WTF is going on with marketers in LinkedIn?! I’m an engineer why the fuck are you trying to make me sell your product to a company I only code for, fucking spammy cunts contact sales and do your job I have enough with mine.7
-
nuget is a steaming pile of human shit, fuck the entire microsoft ecosystem and fuck anybody who likes it, and fuck you, and fuck me8
-
Half my Instagram likes are just me scrolling down and randomly stopping so it accidentally counts as a like.
Good luck trying to find what I've liked tho! Instagram protects that shit more than the nuclear codes.
Who the fuck developed this shit?36 -
Ask me about that one time a motherfucking LOG STATEMENT caused the code to not work properly, breaking both the Test and QA environments, but failed in a way that made it maddening to figure out (in conjunction with the cloud-based hosting environment and the abomination that is centralized logging, which just makes EVERYTHING more difficult).
Actually, DON'T ask me about it, because it was today, it wasted most of my day, and I'm still salty as fuck about it.6 -
"I need the login credentials for the CMS service"
*sends the email confirmation email*
"No, I can't confirm your email for you. In plain English: send me the email and password to login."
"Ohhhhhhhhh"
Literally what the fuck is wrong with these people.
I swear we're all fucking doomed.5 -
Dear game developers of mobile games,
Please stop making EVERY FUCKING GAME dependent on having coins AND gems that you have to pay REAL MONEY for to oftentimes even keep playing! Or worse still you are kept at a basic level if you refuse to spend!
It’s boring, annoying, and your game is not worth spending like $100 on before getting bored and moving on.
And don’t get me started on ads!!
FUCK RIGHT OFF!!!17 -
I have adhd and anxiety which means I cant smoke, drink coffee or drink alcohol because that fucks up my sleep and short term and long term memory badly for few days in a row. ADD symptoms become unmanageable. Fuck my life. I guess I will have to cut all stimulants if I want to be abe to function as a decent dev. I will have to cut most of my social circle because they wont understand me not going out for drinks... Fuck my life....14
-
A friend's company is going through a hard time and he asked me to check out their books and do a "data driven" solution as he put it. As a good friend I did.
WHAT A MESS
Apparently there's huge sums of cash missing, for a company that size. Worst one was 7.5k missing for one sale they did.
I did not, however, start creating any solution because the dude kept flirting with haggling by constantly asking me what the price would be for it. Nor have I run any ML on it because, yes, THE DUDE KEPT ASKING ME WHAT THE PRICE WOULD BE?!
How the fuck am I fucking going to give you a fucking price if you motherfucker keeps trying to fucking bargain and don't fucking save time to have a meet up?? To fucking tell me what the-fuck is it you need?!??! Motherfucker the way this shit is it's A FUCKING MONEY BLACK HOLE!
HOW THE FUCK CAN I FUCKING KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING PRICE WILL BE IF YOU'RE TOO FUCKING BUSY TO SET UP A FUCKING MEETING YOU FUCK!!!!
That's it, I'm building a scare-plot! Something that will make him shit his capitalist pants. Even if I've already done some sorting that shit out, I'm charging for that. Did he know I'd fix that data as soon as he sent it to me? I don't know, what I know is I AM FUCKING KEEPING IT UNTIL THAT MOTHERFUCKER MEETS AND PAYS FOR IT4 -
Riddle me this
Client wants solution based on open source software.
Any additional software that I write (let's say, an offline store plugin for Feast feature store) to add missing functionality has to be closed source.
Fuck you. Intellectual property my ass. You and me wouldn't even have projects if it werent for OSS.
Good luck maintaining the plugin after I am gone.
I'm doing a lot of work and will have close to nothing to show to future employers.
(BTW, if it were for the old Microsoft model of code source, I would have never become a programmer of any sort. God bless OSS)3 -
My family sometimes send me tick tock videos. I usually open them on brave browser. Dude, why the fuck is brave blocking "motion sensor" through camera? what kind of spying is this? tick tock is spyware and cancer fr5
-
Apparently I'm not dishonest enough about my mistakes owing up to my mistakes too much when interacting customers. Fuck me for being honest, I guess?2
-
I hate office politics so fucking much. Now that most people aren’t face to face and everything is over chat and voice calls, people seem to get very weird about things that might be said and blow things out of context. If you have anxiety disorder or something fuck off!! You’re stressing the shit out of me and it’s already Christmas so I’m already stressed the fuck out!4
-
Before I decided to learn C, I had heard tell of pointers being "hard to use". Of course I thought "maybe so, " after all, that was basically the only thing I heard about pointers, "they are hard!".
And so, when I learned C, and I got to the part about pointers, I was expecting at least some trouble (I can't know everything) and it was just... easy? Maybe the trickiest thing was how * has two different meanings based on the context (declare/dereference) but that was easy too.
Why the hell is all I hear from people about pointers is that they're difficult?14 -
I dedicate this to all of those hr gurus from top tech companies that rejected me cause they think I won’t fit their culture despite me crushing all their technical interviews, fuck them and their soft skills stupid questions.
I won’t fit there anyways cause I can express my own thoughts using sarcasm and irony and I’m not scared of doing it cause I don’t care about your amazing company culture that prefer robots not people with a little sense of humor. I don’t care about my failures cause there was so many I don’t give a fuck. And by the way if you ask me why I want to work in your amazing company I would always say cause you asked me to work for you and now you treat me like shit. Then 10 years later you blame everyone for toxic culture lol.2 -
Please just let me cancel my 1-year subscription for the end of that one year NOW without only giving me an option to cancel everything right now and still pay 54 € fee, that's not only silly, it's what makes customers shout FUCK YOU Adobe! Long gone the good old times, who needs your outdated stuff in 2022 anyway?5
-
Am annoyed. Not mad, just very disappointed. So the guy I emailed yesterday about doctoral research positions hasn't responded yet, and this is causing me somewhat of rejection anxiety, specially considering recent events.
Honest to god, if this one fails I'm abandoning academia and research and making cool stuff. Fuck society. I could make so many useful life saving stuff, but they didn't let me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Also, I'm enjoying my current minimum wage occupation. It's stressless and repetitive and I pay fuckall for tax. I didn't want to go antisocial, but I was driven here. So there. This is why y'all can't have nice things. 🎤💧12 -
Webmin because why not ✓
Lamp stack ✓
Dynamic DNS client ✓
PhpMyAdmin X
Dear DigitalOcean. SINCE WHEN do you consider a PMA installation
without Https SECURE?
And why the fuck do you make me install an aptitude package that skips both file system AND Apache config cleanup on purging?
It's just a raspberry, but if it runs lamp I want PMA, and if it runs anything, I want Https. Is that too much to ask for from a tutorial source otherwise so reliable that I do anything you say without a questioning thought?8 -
one of my guys decided to start learning c++ for the fun and fuck of it. We do not use c++ for shit (we web developers in this bitch) and he asked me if in the event of him getting completely fucking stuck he could come to me for guidance, I said sure. I do use c++ for personal game projects....it is mostly very bad C until I need c++, it is horrible seriously, I ain't no expert.
He decides to go with the LLVM. Creates a simple hello world app. Runs clang++ main.cpp -o main.
**QUICK PAUSE**
Done, the CLI returns the prompt back to him. He comes and asks me wtf is going on. I check on my machine(Linux based) and do the exact same thing. Executable comes out.
I check back on his windows machine, try typing the same shit. Nada. It does not throw errors or warnings, and the syntax is fucking fine, can't really fuck up c-outing hello fucking world. FUCKING NADA
I couldn't sit down to troubleshoot since it was still working hours, but this shit is haunting me and I am going ballsack crazy knowing that I won't be able to jump at it until tomorrow.
This just makes me dislike c++, i usually never have issues like that, but then again, I use the microsoft compiler (bitch at me all you want, most game developer tutorials etc use that shit, so does the Cherno, its all i know OK????)
I am going to go crazy sdjkfhasdkjlfghlajkhrfvluidefjbhfksjadhjksdsdsjksdjkl11 -
What the hell is wrong with using GitHub, or Git??? A client told me he’s concerned because it’s been, in his words, “compromised” and the admins can “see our code for trouble shooting purposes” and he doesn’t feel comfortable with that…🤨 like…no one wants this code my dude, like the fuck!?! We’re already using a skeleton project from someone else’s git, yet you dnt want this project on there??? Ooooor, is it because you dnt know how to use it??? Nor do you want to take the time to learn it??? 🤨 fuck boy. 😡😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬17
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A custom script that makes a Jira ticket, assigns it to me, marks it as in progress, check out a git branch, set the commit title and the Jira title to my command line argument…. Push, open a PR, and fuck it, merge that shit too.
I checked all the corporate boxes and you got the typo fixed. -
FUCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!
I need to get off this frustration out of my system.
I have a autistic retarded sister who has less than a half brain cell.
Evolution from fish to humans was faster than completion of a task assigned to this faggot.
I fucking hate her. Why was I born in this family. Fucking why!!!!!
Autistic narcissistic cunt. Horrible human.
Doesn't have any friends, no family member cares for her, entitled bitch, earns less than $75 a year.
Whenever we meet, she makes sure to belittle me in front of our parents and gives advices and gyaan on how superior she is and how much waste of oxygen I am.
Constantly mentions that my career choices are stupid, whereas she is doing great (in reality she isn't even able to score a simple degree and no one is willing to hire her).
Acording to her, I have zero financial literacy and she is a genius (in reality I am managing the entire family finances and providing for everyone).
Even when I ask her about something, she says that I am asking stupid questions where as in reality she is an anti vaxxer. God damn fuck!! She was stopping my parents to get vaccinated. Fucking bitch.
There's a simple 20 minute task regarding some tax work and she took more than 2 weeks to even comprehend my request and now screams at me for raising the request on the last day. Bitch WTF! I told you well in advance and now you fuck me up entirely.
My parents are so fucking biased and will blindly side her because she is a girl and using this argument they have destroyed me emotionally over years.
Yes, I no longer care for any of these maniacs and want to leave this place asap.
For now, for the life of me, I am ready to pay more than $3500 extra in taxes than deal with this woman child.31 -
Was fixing a bug and suddenly got an error that the lodash library could not be loaded. Funny, didn't even know the project used that lib. Looked for the reference and the previous dev used _.times instead of a for loop. Ha okay, interesting. Wonder where else this library is used.
Searched the whole project for references, dependencies, whatever, any sign of it. Fucking. Nothing.
Rewrote the _.times part as a simple for loop, then removed the library. The rest of the project still worked perfectly. Took me about a minute and a half.
Who the fuck uses an entire damn library to... Not write a for loop I guess?!7 -
I used to think that I had matured. That I should stop letting my emotions get the better of me. Turns out there's only so much one can bottle up before it snaps.
Allow me to introduce you folks to this wonderful piece of software: PaddleOCR (https://github.com/PaddlePaddle/...). At this time I'll gladly take any free OCR library that isn't Tesseract. I saw the thing, thought: "Heh. 3 lines quick start. Cool.", and the accuracy is decent. I thought it was a treasure trove that I could shill to other people. That was before I found out how shit of a package it is.
First test, I found out that logging is enabled by default. Sure, logging is good. But I was already rocking my own logger, and I wanted it to shut the fuck up about its log because it was noise to the stuffs I actually wanted to log. Could not intercept its logging events, and somehow just importing it set the global logging level from INFO to DEBUG. Maybe it's Python's quirk, who knows. Check the source code, ah, the constructors gaves `show_log` arg to control logging. The fuck? Why? Why not let the user opt into your logs? Why is the logging on by default?
But sure, it's just logging. Surely, no big deal. SURELY, it's got decent documentation that is easily searchable. Oh, oh sweet summer child, there ain't. Docs are just some loosely bundled together Markdowns chucked into /doc. Hey, docs at least. Surely, surely there's something somewhere about all the args to the OCRer constructor somewhere. NOPE! Turns out, all the args, you gotta reference its `--help` switch on the command line. And like all "good" software from academia, unless you're part of academia, it's obtuse as fuck. Fine, fuck it, back to /doc, and it took me 10 minutes of rummaging to find the correct Markdown file that describes the params. And good-fucking-luck to you trying to translate all them command line args into Python constructor params.
"But PTH, you're overreacting!". No, fuck you, I'm not. Guess whose code broke today because of a 4th number version bump. Yes, you are reading correctly: My code broke, because of a 4th number version bump, from 2.6.0.1, to 2.6.0.2, introducing a breaking change. Why? Because apparently, upstream decided to nest the OCR result in another layer. Fuck knows why. They did change the doc. Guess what they didn't do. PROVIDING, A DAMN, RELEASE NOTE. Checked their repo, checked their tags, nothing marking any releases from the 3rd number. All releases goes straight to PyPI, quietly, silently, like a moron. And bless you if you tell me "Well you should have reviewed the docs". If you do that for your project, for all of your dependencies, my condolences.
Could I just fix it? Yes. Without ranting? Yes. But for fuck sake if you're writing software for a wide audience you're kinda expected to be even more sane in your software's structure and release conventions. Not this. And note: The people writing this, aren't random people without coding expertise. But man they feel like they are.6 -
Anyone else have that kind of manager who you ask a simple, single sentence question of, and get a ten volume essay of a response back from?
How do you deal? I'm usually a very capable, independent and initiative driven person but holy fuck.
All we need here is a:
"Hey manager, you assigned me this thing. I'm wondering what we should do about this particular edge case I've seen a few times in past roles?"
and a
"I'm not sure. Check with Steve, he should know, as his team worked on it and did x, y and z. If he doesn't know, come back to me"
and we're done.
Instead I get the entire Lord of the Rings saga written in zalgo.6 -
So I met this person via a social platform.
They were absolutely silly and weren't able to hold a conversation. So I, like a normal person, just stopped trying to keep things alive.
Over the years, I have realised and learnt that if a person is interested in being friends, they'd put in efforts and I alone will not have to drag things on my shoulder.
I started cutting out people right, left, and center who I felt were taking advantage of me or using me in some way or another.
I ended up saving a lot of time and energy. I no longer feel drained or anxious about something not working out. Not dragging saved me from draining.
Anyway, they reach out to me again after few weeks and I was like let's give it a try to establish a friendship, because befriending people is my weak point.
The cycle repeats. At first I thought it must be because of the asynchronous nature of the platform so I drop my Telegram Id in case they preferred an IM approach.
I swear in the name of sweet lord, the retard does the same behaviour. So, I stopped communication.
And one fine day, the person tells me that they lack social skills and want to learn how to make friends and stuff.
Very fair point. So, me being me, gave them a few tips and critically pointed out their behaviour on how they reply with a one liner after every 2 or 3 business days.
Absolutely no change in their behaviour. They kept texting me the same.
At this point, I was like why am I doing it? I could find better people easily. Because for me, communication is everything. I cannot function without a good communication between two living beings.
So, I asked them why are they even trying to learn social skills when they barely implement it and don't want to change to which they reply saying that so they can use it to befriend people and network to getter better job opportunities.
I fuck them off.
And fuck such people who have intentions, are not clear enough about it, and play people for their own selfish gains.
And this where another learning I got from @scout is have boundaries.
Why do all good people in my life leave? Damn it! I need those good people back and be friends with them and not retards who cannot even communicate beyond one liner.11 -
I can't believe fucking Google, aka me cha for SWEs decided that the best they can do is shove all that ram into our computers for Chromium. All of the major apps decided Electron was a good idea and now all of our computers are bloated with fatass memory hogs taking 600MB RAM.
Fuck you Goog.25 -
typescript, I HATE you!
ME: Trying to extend Subject and override Subject.subscribe(PartialObserver<T>)
ME: export class MySubject<T> extends Subject<T> {
subscribe(obs?:PartialObserver<T>): Subscription {
return super.subscribe(obs);
}
}
ME: compile
TS: Compilation error! No such method to override!
ME: load the app -- ERROR
ME: recompile
TS: Compilation error! No such method to override!
ME: load the app -- works perfectly
:confusedjackie:
Make up your mind! So is that class compileable or not???
If not -- how the fuck does it work then???
If yes -- why the fuck do you yell in my face with all those errors???8 -
hey... can I build a FUCKING android image that uses a camera library?
react-native-camera: deprecated, no longer maintained
react-native-vision-camera: it's like globalthermonuclear war with versioning and patches and support and splat splat bullshit in that repo, don't even dare look at the issues there, trust me, please
react-native-camera-kit: doesn't compile for targetSdk 33, no matter what the FUCK you do
jesus christ i want to scan a fucking QR code with my app and my gradle configs have turned into world war III where the fuck did we go wrong folks8 -
You see that, over there?
That massive, 10-ton bag of dicks sitting there in the corner?
Secure Code Warrior can eat that ENTIRE FUCKING THING!
SO many flaws in their tests... SO much HIGHLY questionable content... utterly RIDICULOUS bullshit code with no comments and no context... asking me fucking Angular questions when I'm doing an Express test... two answers that are IDENTICAL... and a busted-ass site on top of it all.
I hate this motherfucking bullshit SO much, and at this moment I hate my employer even more for forcing me to deal with it.
But, hey, I hope you enjoy no work getting done today since you seem to prefer I do this instead, so I guess I'll just scare my dog some more as I yell about this bullshit.
Fuck you Secure Code Warrior, fuck you very, VERY much.7 -
Making calls, meetings, and "brainstorming" half-baked features or designs or any other slop bullshit for 12 hours a day?
Wow, you are an impressive "startup bro"!!!
Coding, testing, running emulators, tests, reading technical documentation, ensuring product success in the real world, and implementing efficient full stack software for 12 hours a day?
Fuck you!!!
These are the expectations of management. Just remember, what they do is "extremely difficult", but you are simply just a resource queue that takes input and converts it to real-world implementation.
Give me a fucking break -
I really hate it when juniors tells me how to do my job. The think that throwing in an English words here and there and some acronyms that their theory is valid - when infact they are completely out of touch and short sighted.
Fuck off -
Fuck me why do my unit tests pass with garbage input.
I can't go into a long weekend with this shit in my head rent free.4 -
Not really trying to, but probably should try to fix this bad, bad habit…
I keep wanting to fix and improve everything - and I keep taking notes, writing action plans et fucking cetera to the point the amount of work that should be done and I want to do is driving me insane. And they should all get done now!
In short, I should really either learn to focus on just one thing at a time for a meaningful period - or just cease to give a fuck. Either could work.3 -
wtf!! That stupid piece of @#$@#$, how does it even work for anybody. EVER. Bundle it in a container, make sure it's ephemeral. Yerterday it worked, and today it fucking does whatever it wants@!!! That fuking fucktard piece of shit!!
Fuck it. Fuck all of it.
It must be a fault in my RAM or something. I mean, nothing has changed since yesterday. I could run the appp in the container yžday ez, and today -- it gives me a finger, completely ignoring my parameters!! Asshole!!!!7 -
I will delete my question. Fuck you all! Fuck Shopware and your lack of support! Fuck StackOverflow and your erratic standards of downvoting, deleting, or simply ignoring helpful questions, while piling up React and jQuery details bullshit. Fuck you all seriously! Just typing this to see if anyone of you yankees cares enough to down vote or ban me. Fuck the fucking fuckers!20
-
What the FUCK im fixing integrations on some dumbass's API. Biz wants this in prod on monday. It's fucking saturday. Anyway
Me: why did you give us a 200 even if its an error
Them: thats normal
Me: If it's an error it shouldnt be 200
Them: its a 200 because the api params are correct but differ in value so its not an http error but an api error
lmao2 -
Installed Ubuntu 18.04 on my system. It feels so good to be back after a year and half approx. It feels refreshing using 18.04, let's see how much time can it hold me. Maybe I'll go on arch after this, last 2 times have been disastrous, but they say 3rd time's the charm. I never found who the fuck "they" is represented everywhere in these type of lines.
-
So Yay just asked me to replace pulseaudio with pipewire. I was hesitant because I have meetings to attend and I don't want to have to fuck around with my audio config once again.
But it simply works.
PipeWire can replace pulseaudio simply by uninstalling pulse and installing pipewire-pulse.
Next I'll see if it can replace JACK as easily. If so, if I no longer have to juggle two fundamentally incompatible audio servers to do audio processing, then FOSS has just solved one of the greatest obstacles in its path to reach feature parity and performance superiority to Windows.7 -
Fuck me, I lost my motivation AGAIN!
I mean, yea, this is a big project and I alone am obviously not enough workforce to do it, but I at least hoped for a prototype. And instead of writing anything like that, I end up writing all sorts of unnecessary modules and wrappers for game engine functions. Grrr.3 -
Oh my dear internet,
FUCK THIS FUCKING SHIT
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF IT, WHO BUILT THIS HACKED TOGETHER ORWELLIAN SWAMP PIT?
Fuck the same fucking Envato template on every content page with 70 layers of sidebars, inline ads, popups, cookies and content shifting as if I was playing CATCH UP WITH YOUR FUCKING CONTENT.
FUCK the same fucking annual upselling 'plans' on every 7-day trial overengineered scam app that requires me to sign up for 1 fucking, falsely advertised task where my fucking password generator doesn't even recognize the input as a password field so I have to cmd+, to my FUCKING BABYLONIAN PASSWORD ARCHIVES PROMPTING ME FOR THE MASTER PASSWORD.
Thank god I can at least CREATE A BURNER CREDIT CARD THAT FREEZES ITSELF BECAUSE I CANNOT BE BOTHERED TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM YOUR FUCKING STEAMING CRAP.
FUCK every fucking step I take being recorded by our CYBERPUNK OVERLORDS REQUIRING ME to sign up for 5 different fucking privacy protection tools' annual plan or duct tape some open source shit onto my browser just for some BASIC PRIVACY WHILE TRYING TO NAVIGATE ALL THE OTHER 5000 annuals plan naval mines like A FUCKING FRENCH SUBMARINE IN 1940 GERMAN WATERS.
FUCK my walled garden scam ecosystem not being compatible with your walled garden scam ecosystem prompting me to reactivate my old SATANIC GOOGLE DON'T BE EVIL ACCOUNT from 2012 sending me on a DANTE ALIGHIERI STYLE ODYSSEY THROUGH THE 9 LAYERS OF PASSWORD RESET QUESTIONS, UNEXPECTED ERROR, 2FA MY PHONE DIED HELL to come out on the other side as a broken man.
Thank GOD I have your useless SUPPORT PAGE to aid with my signup problems that is actually just an FAQ with a hidden EASTER EGG HUNT for your support form CRISP AI BOT THAT IS ALSO 'currently experiencing high demand due to COVID' which is peculiar since that has been 3 years ago, but fortunately for you enabled you to fire ALL YOUR SUPPORT STAFF AND REPLACE IT WITH THIS BANNER.
I might as well just SCRAPE your fucking content, it'd be faster.
And although it is quite funny, FUCK THIS PAGE TOO for having me create another of 10.000 accounts to write this shit, where my browser firmly placed a newly created burner email into the PASSWORD FIELD.
I do not know how we managed to create something that is even more unwieldy than 56k DIAL-UPS, but I know that if this shit continues I'll have to train my own AGI to proudly interact with of all this STUPID SHIT on my behalf or I'll have to move into THE FUCKING MOUNTAINS AND LIVE WITH THE DEER.2 -
Why is everyone on linked in such a fake pussy? I hate seeing the fake nice guy posts, it irritates the fuck outa me4
-
Remember, the more "cutting edge" and "thousands of clients" a company has is inversely related to the quality of documentation they have on their APIs and software solutions.
I don't give a fuck about your pretty examples, show me which FIELDS can take which VALUES. It's that simple. Instead, I'm wasting your company's and my own time by spamming support for what should be basic questions clearly outlined in the documentation.2 -
1. As i was freelancing on upwork some company contacted me and said my CV looks interesting and they gave me a link from their site to download a .rar file with details about their company and dev positions
2. Ok i open the link and the whole site is just blank page with 1 single button: "Download 5.8 mb"
3. Thought to myself: who the fuck has this low quality site of a company, shitty as fuck and as if its built in the 90s. But ok
4. About 2 days later they got banned on upwork and we cant chat anymore. I send this .rar file to virus total and 7 anti virus softwares scanned a trojan + 14 security vendors flagged the rar as malicious malware
Are you FUCKING kidding me? This is the type of bullshit I'm expecting to see in web3 world. Who the FUCK comes on upwork to infect ENGINEERS?? Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? I'll publish their data right now:
Link:
https://hsatrack.com/files/...
Password: 49-49Zb2
Their site:
https://hsatrack.com/
Honestly if i opened this fucking home page site first i would have smelled a virus miles away. But i just didnt expect a fucking virus AT ALL on UPWORK. Never happened to me before. This is the type of criminal fraud malware shit i expect AND SEE DAILY on WEB3 -- WHO TF DOES IT IN WEB2 IN 2023?? I'LL FUCK THIS CEO'S LIFE UPSIDE DOWN 180 RIGHT NOW2 -
Told my client last october that I would not be doing a migration.
Two weeks ago they wanted me to do the migration and I told them I will do my best to create estimates but that it was the first time.
Gave them a resonable estimate to migrate the content.
And last meeting they cut the time by 70% to meet the budget.
Fuck the budget, can't pay then you don't get the shiny new toy.
I'm a contractor, not a fucking employee. So all the extra hours are on me.
Going to give them a piece of my mind today.
If I lose this client, i don't give a fuck.1 -
I just realized a weird thing. It will soon be 6 years since i joined devRant. And while i havent been as active as i was before its still sometimes fun to come and rant or read some rants :)
And for those who know me. Yes i still fuck around with Linux kernel development :)
If you are from the 2016-2018 join time come chat a little in comments :) Wondering how many people still hang out here and how many people names i will recognize :P
//Haxk20 o78 -
Taking an online course. This guy is talking to me as if I'm watching Dora The Explorer and she's asking fucking obvious questions. It irks the fuck out of me. Luckily he isn't the only instructor.1
-
Today has officially drained all the brain I didn't even have yesterday. Let's hope I get somewhere with this thing, or else all the brain I've wasted is going to be useless.
Also, fuck opencv's fisheye undistortion. Mofo, I don't have the camera params, how the fuck do you want me to give you your stupid kernel shit? Shut the fuck up from my face. Stupid hoebag.
... 😭😭😭😭😭 -
!Dev related but still freelance.
So.. I do 3D stuff, scenes, animation and so on. The e-sport pub manager I know told me about this guy that wanted to start a local organizations around FIFA, hold tournaments at the pub and so on. He had some finance, contacts and needed a 3D scene of a stadium to highlight top placers as 3D Fifa cards.
Gotcha, so I hooked him up with said stuff, he was happy, manager was happy, first tournament went well. Now to the shit show:
He wrote to me a couple of days later asking if I'm up for more jobs, which k respectfully declined because l was on a bigger project that took about 2months to complete. Since that day, he spammed both me and the pub manager with request and wishes on wanting to do more.. and I mean SPAM!
Like the dude can't take a no, sorry. He tried to call on phone and messenger, messeged me several times / week and asked the manager of he heard from me.
Both the manager and I were perplexed of his attitude and after asking several times to stop and we both had other things for now (events / projects).. he.. he didn't stop. So.. blocked and that's that, right? Fuck now.. other clients of mine asked me if I knew of him because he tried to contact them to get to me.. like WTF?! How hard is it to take a no and move on?! Jesus.. client of hell in a nutshell3 -
I'm just FUCKING DONE. Everyone around me looks at me like a fucking paycheck they either don't want to pay me or like one they want from me but that I can't make enough of. Every time I open my stupid cakehole something stupid flies out of it that offends someone or makes me look incompetent or sets me back somehow. I'm not suicidal but I don't want to be on this planet anymore. I'm stranded here with nobody who wants to hire me and people around me who are tapping their feet waiting for people to hire me. I have nothing in my bank accounts to cover enormous and increasing monthly expenses coming up on the horizon and no way to pay for them. I have a stupid president who just keeps making it worse and worse with every stupid thing that comes out of his geriatric mouth or that he signs with his shaking dementia-ridden hand. He just keeps taxing me and taxing me and now has an army the size of the FUCKING NATIONAL GUARD of IRS agents ready to FUCK ME UP THE ASS if I have just one business expense out of order. I have all of this responsibility for my family and none of the power to do anything for them. And now that most of my kids are adults, none of them can afford to move out for the long-term future and also they're not able to get much money to help out so it's still incumbent on me to carry them until they're like FUCKING 35 YEARS OLD OR SOMETHING! The wife is pretty much sick of me and my shitty attitude about it all and she says she thinks that I think it's all her fault. We don't have any kind of romantic relationship anymore (well, I have all the interest and she has all the avoidance).
Also, I'm a man, and white, and straight, and "privileged" (oh, so privileged) so I'm the _worst person on the planet_.
I was born on this earth to be a FUCKING WARNING, not the lesson. When that meteor comes, let it take me out first.9 -
Take me into the organization as a dev
tell me that I'm supposed to bring ideas and tell you how to improve and what's required
I do that
You ignore me
You expect ultra performance and good profits
GO FUCK YOURSELF7 -
Fuck Wordpress, Fuck Wordpress's PHP
I'm so fucking tired of everything in this godforsaken CMS. Import a JS File? Sure, just add a *completely obvious* line into a very specific PHP File, where you'll have to specify a lot of "useful" parameters. No, I somehow DON'T want to specify that I don't wand jQuery in every import. And don't even get me started on Content Delivering. Embed CSS? Sure, just write the fucking whole path to the file, or use the broken get_stylesheet_uri() Function. Embed an Image? Sure, let me just go to the Backend and wait 6 Minutes for this bullshitty System to upload the image and then copy the hard-coded Link. Oh, you want to remove googleapi embeds? Sure, let me just fuck up your whole Website in return.
You want jQuery? Well instead of using the "$" Symbol, you have to use the jQuery() Function. Except when you don't have to, which is 100% random each time you reload the page. Oh, you actually did import a JS File? Sure, let me just not run it. Thank you fucking piece of shit thats calling itself "WordPress" and fuck you and everyone whos actively encouraging its usage1 -
a bet:
this birthday, i will get:
lemon glutenfree cake (if any) because mom can't have gluten and sister likes lemon cake. i hate both of those. but that's irrelevant as it always was.
if any, then gifts will be anything except cigarettes which is basically the only thing within price range they're willing to spend, that i would actually be happy about.
birthday is just an artificially glorified ordinary day. and i'm not the type to do hysterics to artificially glorify it. and it's fine. but then, why are they artificially glorifying it while unwilling to actually glorify it properly, as in, glorify it for me?
pick fucking one. artificially glorify it, in which case, FOR ME, or just don't give a fucking shit same as i don't.
but why are you artificially glorifying it for the purpose of ignoring me and glorifying everything exactly in spite of me, without even being aware that you're doing that?
like seriously, what? make your "i love not you, but my daughter" day, as an extra to her birthday. i don't give a shit, i'm happy you have a nice relationship. but doing all of the "i love my daugther day" shit on my birthday, AND PRETENDING IT WAS DONE FOR MY BIRTHDAY, FOR ME, and being sad about me being sad that all you did "for me" was in fact for yourself and for everyone else, that's the combo that gets me.
"oh why u making me so sad by being so sad that i ignored everything you like and kept telling me you like for the past X years and i just ignored it because it's not my nor your sister's preference?"
guess why, you fucktard. how about you ignore the day next time instead of making it an unconscious (that's the worst, that they don't even realize it) mockery of the day.
"oh why are you sadand shitty feeling that we made this bullshit ignorable "celebrate you" day about ignoring everything that celebrates you, and made it into the opposite instead? why are you so demanding and cruel?"
SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.
go have a walk with your beloved daughter and please ignore me as you always do.
just leave me the fuck alone.5 -
Me (new position): Hey, can I run this locally?
Other dev: No, it can only run through CI.
Me (exploring): Oh, I see. CI -> Docker -> Makefile -> Ansible -> Packer -> Terraform -> new EC2 image -> new EC2 host -> command.
Well fuck. That's not going to work locally.4 -
My manager tried to schedule a 5 hour meeting for me to attend :)
Disguised as “working session”
Fuck you asshole2 -
A colleague came to me ranting about some feature marketing wants.
"Save whether the user accepted, rejected or ignored the TOS." They have to accept the privacy agreement first, so this feature is most likely about annoying users who rejected the TOS. Totally justified. Fuck that marketing team.6 -
After 3 weeks of being interviewed on upwork she replied today and told me
"Sorry, the only reason we cant hire you is because the client wants only EU passport devs"
.....
Is this my fault? How is this my fault? EVERY FUCKING TIME WHEN I TRY TO SUCCEED AT ANYTHING LIFE JUST FORCEFULLY REJECTS ME FROM SUCCEEDING AND IT IS ALWAYS BECAUSE OF THE LUCK THAT I DONT HAVE. HOW IS IT MY FAULT FOR BEING BORN IN A GARBAGE BULLSHIT PIECE OF SHIT COUNTRY AND IMMEDIATELY HAVE HUGE DISADVANTAGE IN LIFE? HOW IS THAT FUCKING FAIR??? WHY DO YOU GIVE A FUCK FROM POLITICAL REGIONS WHERE I AM BORN IF I CAN DO THE DEV JOB RIGHT????? WHST RHE FUCK IS THIS FUCKING LOW LIFE ABOUT IF I ***NEED*** LUCK TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL. NO MATTER HOW SKILLED OR HARD YOU TRY YOU WILL ALWAYS APPARENTLY FAIL IF YOU ARE MISSING ***LUCK***15 -
This fucking internal tool does not have any CLI capabilities, so to open each file i need to and get the data i have to manually hit 'File -> Open' select the file, then double click
Then high light the data i want and copy out what I need
If there was even just a cli to cycle over the fucking files to open each in their own instance it would be a good deal less fucking tedious and annoying
Like how the fuck do you not allow passing in a file name on cli to open like fuck i have to do this 40 fucking times FUCK i get this tool is originally from the fucking 90's but still you push updates every 3 months for the databases it accesses at least let me fucking pass in a fucking file to open it from cli3 -
/me joining a new front-end project with enforced prettier rules to complete the build pipeline.
No double-quotes ! Single-quotes all the way !
- weird flex, but OK. I'll comply
No CRLF ! LF only !
- Ok, now you're starting to annoy me. With git autocrlf I can have my precious CR locally bu check in only LF and YOU CAN GIVE THE FUCK ABOUT WHAT LINE ENDINGS I USE LOCALLY WHEN EVERYTHING WILL BE CORRECT WHEN PUSHING COMMITS!
No semi-colons !
- Now I hate you18 -
Honestly, the more I work with compilers the more I understand why this job's listing asked for Lisp experience. What I don't understand is WHY The FUck are they making me DO THIS SHit in fucking JAVA and NOt IN LISP!3
-
This weekend, I have been grinding a lot on leetcode. Even though I am grinding part of me believe that the interview process is broken for relying too much on those questions. I know it's a way to filter but I still think it's broken. But I guess I have no choice since that's how the interviews work .
I guess from now to next 1-2 months I will be busy with leetcode. I also have to read some system design questions.
Fuck, so many things to prepare4 -
i don't wanna say it, but I'm going to say it
1, 2...
3
FUCK RUST.
Took me 30 minutes to prototype this shit in concise, safe and idiomatic Bash.
Took me 4 hours to rewrite it in idiomatic Rust. Did it work just as well? BIG FUCKING NO.
Rewriting it in a crazy-girlfriend-like annoyingly strict nominal Typescript, took me 1 hour.
IT WAS fucking DELICIOUS doing it.
Did it work just as well, BIG FUCKING YES!
Fuck you Rust. F U C K YOU
--- still love you tho22 -
I know a lot of people disagree with modern art, but fuck me, at least we got away from this ugly shit.7
-
I sometimes forget windows is absolute shit. Then I get to work with one and remember. Specially since microshit has actually banned my email (because I didn't give it my mew phone number it's sulking like a creepy stalker) and so I can't even properly log the fuck in into a machine I was using a few years back. 😐
If someone makes a windows rip off that could properly deal with .exe files, count me a customer. (in future tho. I haven't got money for shit rn)8 -
You know what fuck github , anyone remember when git cli was easy and straight forward to use
Now i have conflicting master branches because the remote is main and git automatically defaults to master.
Git still asks for a password while github can't wait to inform me how I have to go through the very long process of setting up an auth_token.
Apparently https remote origins for some reason don't work anymore, why because apparently i need to change them into ssh, good luck with the public key errors
This sucks , fuck github and fuck politics9 -
I applied for an internal position within my company and spoke to the hiring manager.
She gave me extremely strong narcissistic vibes and something within me is screaming to stay the fuck away from that job.
What should I do? The opportunity is masssive with lots of learning accompanied by stress because it is a complete domain change (moving from B2B to B2C)?3 -
Me: aah finally the best in the morning MY COFFEE
Also me a half hour later: Uhm fuck my coffee is cold.1 -
me: reviewing an old ticket relevant to testing a similar area of a ticket im working on as a developer
"QA Note
Please don't ask me where to find one of these, because I don’t know"
the retired QA who worked on this ticket also didn't write where to find the thing
well fuck me alright3 -
Long time no see devRant. This rant is dedicated to an MQTT implementation we use. Mosquitto, mqtt.js - FUCK YOU.
I spent the last fucking 30+ hours trying to find why the bloody fuck the stupid server / client won't connect to the shitty mqtt broker. From changing all possible config, enabling & disabling specific code nothing abso-fucking-lutely works.
But then it will randomly decide to connect to the fucking broker, not causing any issues at all. And each fucking day when I wake up again and think to myself: oh today I can actually leave when it is still somewhat bright outside - NOPE. Because guess what? The fucking shitty abomination doesn't work anymore.
I just love these types of problems that are almost impossible to debug because the only logs you get is: "SERVER disconnected". It's impossible to get a proper reason out of this shit show, it's just turned into randomly guessing what the error could be (and especially where it could be).
And each time I got it to work, tested it and let the testing team know that they can start testing it will just stab me in the back and be like "fuck you, I'm not working any more". Luckily it's not like the deadline is next week... otherwise work is great, trust me.13 -
We write our feature specifications in Gherkin, so it is clear to every member of the team (even nondevs GASP!) exactly what each feature should do.
SO WHY THE FUCK, AFTER BUILDING THE FEATURE, DO I GET REVIEWS FROM THE pRoDuCt MaNaGeRs, SHOWING ME THEY WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR THE FEATURE. YOU WROTE THE FUCKING FEATURE DID YOU HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART MID THOUGHT YOU IDIOT!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SO SICK OF IT I'M SICK OF WORKING 12 HOURS ON A FRIDAY FOR YOUR STUPID SHIT2 -
FUCK YOU PHP, FUCK YOU SYMFONY AND DEFINITELY FUCK YOU SHOPWARE.
Don't get me wrong, PHP has evolved a lot, but the stuff people are building with it is just the biggest load of fucking shit I have ever seen: Shopware. Shopware is the most ass-sucking abomination to extend. It's nearly impossible to develop anything beyond "use the standard features and shut the fuck up" that is more sophisticated than a fucking calculator.
The architecture of this pile of crap is the worst bullshit ever. A mix of OOP, randomly making use of non OOP concepts and features together with the unnecessarily HUGE amount of useless interfaces and classes. Sometimes I feel like it's 90% fucking shitty boilerplate shit.
And don't get me started with TWIG. It's a nice thought, but WHY THE BLOODY FUCK WOULD YOU NOT USE VUE IF YOU ARE ALREADY USING IT FOR A DIFFERENT PART OF SHOPWARE. This makes no fucking sense whatsoever and makes development of new features a huge pain in the ass. I can't comprehend how people actually like using this shit.
OH AND THE DATABASE. OH MY FUCKING GOD. This one is bad. Ever tried to figure anything out in a database where random strings (yes MySQL "relational" - you might think) that are stored as text in a JSON format make up some object or relations during runtime?? Why the fuck do you have foreign and primary keys if you don't use them properly??
Seriously you can't even figure out which data belongs to what because the architecture just sucks fucking ass. FUCK YOU Shopware wankers, you suck, your product sucks, your support sucks, your architecture sucks and you keep releasing new versions that regularly break shit even in minor versions.
I used to like PHP, but not in projects like these.6 -
YouTube Music is so fucking shit
No continue playing on refresh. Queue / Currently playing gets cleared (Wtaf?)
No logical playlist sorting by alphabet
Alphabetical order seems to restart several times and gets fucky with mixed starting letters towards the end
Absolutely no sorting options by any attribute
No continue listening on another device
No song search ability in playlists (Excuse me but what the fuck?)
SS attached shows how playlist goes from W -> Y -> axbyz2 -
I'm doing a code review on a huge feature, basically touching every part of our authorization logic, and man... It's like my colleague writes his code to be as hard to read as possible. He's 60+ and you'd think he'd have learned how to write good and clear code, but nope. "Let's make it cool cool and I look like I'm a genius. And if I can spend 3 keystrokes less on a function I'm happy". Fuck me.
-
My problem with referring to my github:
I just found a project from almost two years ago where I exclusively use unordered arrays of key/value pairs as dictionaries.
Man, fuck previous me.1 -
TIL: new M2 MacBooks officially support only single external screen. Not even the Pro class supports dual. It supports single 6K monitor, but I've failed to find any userfriendly ways to get good tiling which would be equivalent to multi-monitor. The only native tilling is left/right split. TB3 can handle 3x2K or 2x4K, but Apple said "fuck you and your multi-monitor setup".
I ain't mad tho. The guy upgrading to M2 sold me his dual monitors for a really good price.9 -
Every fucking time I get an application for simple stuff like cleaning or weight measuring, and it asks me for completely unnecessary things like making an account and requesting access to my gps location, I look up the company and find out it's Chinese. What the fuck man.1
-
I'm generally new to front end development, couldn't keep up with the eco system even if I wanted to.
But what the fuck am I supposed to do when UX gives me mock ups in absolute units of pixels?
I thought best practice was for development was like vw viewport units of em units, because of the wrinkle of supporting different screen sizes and devices.
Is the general industry practice I'm supposed to use their general ratios and just get close enough? Like I don't want to dick around for diminishing returns trying to get shit pixel perfect, I don't have an eye for this shit to begin with.6 -
Me: "But what if I fuck it up?"
Him: "Well, don't fuck it up".
When asking about what the user should do next in case they make a mistake and wanted to correct it.
It was a turning point in my dev life.1 -
" this person made me mad and blocked me after. You can hack their Facebook right... so I can get the last word "
No I can not. And even if I did posses the knowledge and ability to. Why should I care you were probably being stupid too to them.
I don't care to involve myself in petty people problems. Honestly If they blocked you that should be the end of it grow the fuck up.
It's 10 at night. Too late for people to be bothering me. Especially with stupid stuff.4 -
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sync my desktop to the cloud without letting me know after the latest system update, FUCK YOU.3
-
bruuuuuuuuuh I got an email asking for tech LatinX people to join for a talk on our problems facing x shit in tech.
As a Mexican American (I am more American than Mexican, but whatever) and your standard gun tootin Texan: fuck you, do not call me LatinX
I know both English and Spanish (and other languages that won't disclose here because fk u) well and believe that adding such buuuuuuuullshit to my beautiful Spanish is utter nonsense.
I sent it to the network admin and ask him to block them fuckers from ever sending emails my way ever again as spam.
LatinX....what a fucking joke9 -
Me When someone writes Unit test: Unit test is good, keep writing
Me when I have to write Unit test: FUCK OFFF2 -
As somebody who works in the industry, 2FA is a great idea, we need to do it more.
As a user, fuck 2FA, I ain't have time for that shit, if you make me type my screen lock once again I will throw my computer out of the window.8 -
I really dislike micromanagement. I don't want to dictate details. I don't like hierarchies where my direct reports obey me.
The only thing that obeys me is my hands, with them, I write the exact code I want. I don't hire another pair of hands. I hire another brain.
When you see your direct reports as professionals, you can give declarative tasks: "make a pretty website footer", "make that page load quicker". If you leave implementation details for your direct reports to decide, this doesn't mean they'll fuck up. They are professionals too, and if you personally interviewed them, you better believe they can handle it. -
Betty: Opens slack chat with Bob, Tony and me to ask me to fix some data for a client who messed the setup. (Don’t worry just building a script that takes 3 hours to complete and that I must supervise)
Betty: Opens slack chat with Ron, Tim and me to ask me to force the system I made to ignore protocol because someone else’s fuck up made it so she didn’t get the output she expected.
Betty: proceeds to ask for status updates constantly on both chats. She also disguises them as her asking what she can do to “get it across faster” knowing there’s jack shit I or anyone can do to make it go “faster”.
Also Betty, vomits BS about my micro service being unstable in front of managers even though it is it’s correctness what brought to light a bug fucking up thousands of records silently.
Go fuck yourself Betty ☺️ and fuck the client5 -
I don't know what the fuck is happening rn I created repo on gitlab and tried to make changes from terminal it refused. Tried every fucking combination as I thought I must be doing something wrong .
Got fed up made a new account , made a new repo but gitlab doesn't allow me to upload files from there fucking website too.
Now I am getting error 500 from terminal because I can't clone my repo as it says this repo doesn't exist.
Now I can only imagine that there might be some problem with gitlab it's 4 in the morning, I should probably sleep. -
came to the pub for some peice and quiet to read my book and this fucking dumbass boomer is sneezing every fucking goddamn second dude fucking fuck off god just eject me into space what the fuck is wrong with these FUCKING retards jesus christ5
-
Fuck me...
Literally spent all day trying to figure why I'm getting a 500.30 error on my application. The damn fucker won't let me get THROUGH. I know it's possible to do because I did it with another application, but this one is being a little shit.
I feel like the very definition of insane right now because I've been doing little incremental changes but getting the same results.
I just want to rip the entire thing apart.7 -
Fuck it, go ruin your own life, I don't deserve this shit.
I don't deserve getting treated like shit by my mother for financially helping her, in fact, bringing all the fucking money in this household to the table.
I don't deserve being gaslighted by some hypocrite who victimized or egos themself up to fit their narrative.
Just ruin your own day, but keep me out of it. I'm tired of playing mental support just to be shit on.2 -
YOU DONT WANT TO BE ME FUCKING ME RYT NOW
..... I DONT MEAN LIKE FUCKING BUT
WAT THA FUCK AM I EVEN SAYING !!!!!!5 -
I’m sooo excited when any new frontend JS framework is available. Angular, React, more recently Vue, Svelte. Bring ‘em on. I wanna try them all.
Just kidding…
As long as the tools at hand allow me to get the job done, keep clients and end users happy, I don’t give a fuck.
This meme is actually the epitome of what I hate with a lot of web developers I’ve encountered2 -
Real conversation with my shit bank
Me: Hey, I want to change the phone number associated with my card because I no longer have access to it. (aka stolen). I can't find the option to do so on your website anymore.
Them: Yeah, for security reasons you now have to come down to the bank (which involves standing in line for anywhere between 40 minutes and 2 hours) to do that simple change.
The actual fuck.12 -
My whitewashed LinkedIn profile keeps getting harassed by recruiters when no one looks at my real LinkedIn profile under my Chinese name.
To save everyone's time typing fuck you because I am using LinkedIn. I will type it for you: fuck me.2 -
Fuck Apple with two pineapples in the ass. 99€ per fucking year to tell me how the fuck should the access to my app be. I damn require users to sign up. I only need email and country. Not a single other piece of data. My app is not a goddamn catalogue or boutique. No free content, free app but each user needs to Auth themselves. You fucking telling me y pay 99€ so you decide how the access to my app should be?
Cunt Apple should rot in 10 day old humid shit and let devs be owners of their apps and hard work. Clowns.7 -
fuck me.
it's monday and to start in a new project I'm reading a paper my boss once wrote.
It's the worst I ever seen - stop using so much smart words and stop introducing fuckin smart math notations everywhere!!!
That fucker reads like a pretentious science lecture an my poor simple village brain doesn't like it6 -
Dear Windows, we have to talk. I love you, you know that, and I know that your market share has been shrinking in recent years and you're shit scared of becoming irrelevant but for the love of god:
- STOP asking me every god damn few weeks if I want to change my browser settings - NO I FUCKING DONT WANT TO USE BING, FUCK OFF
- STOP trying to be like an app and add pointless new "features" that nobody cares about and just do your fucking job, which is to be a PLATFORM which is stable, never changes and that gets out of my fucking way
- STOP reinstalling apps I uninstall, Im NOT FUCKING INTERESTED IN PAINT 3D, FUCK OFF
FUCK, ME,2 -
I just got scammed in web3. Again. Luckily by following an extremely strict risk management i lost $25.
But apparently now i have to be even more strict and be rigorous to the extremes.
"Pay me up front payment and ill start" Fuck you. Fuck all of you requesting for an upfront payment.
Do you think in the real world when you get hired at ANY job, do you think you're paid up front even a fucking dime? NO. You start working and get paid 1 whole ass Fucking month LATER. But only in web3 do these shitholes ask for an "uP fRoNt pAyMenT s0 i cAn StaRt wOrkiNg". No. Fuck you. I hope you get a fucking cancer and choke on a dead ape's dick.
How Fucking PATHETIC does your poor miserable waste of life have to be to scam someone for just $25? What the fuck?
Web3 is FULL, actually full is a compliment so I'll say it this way: Web3 is OVERLOADED AND OVERFILLED WITH FUCKING SCAMMERS. They're dripping EVERYWHERE. DMs. Discord. Twitter. Fake profiles. Fake messages. Fake cloned websites. Fake scam influencers. Fake marketers. Fake collab managers. Lies deception and exaggeration of results. Or even if it's the original collection, it's probably still a scam.
I don't know what to fucking do no more.
OH have i mentioned Web3 influencers? Oh my fucking god. These influencers on twitter for web3 are the most narcissistic, egocentric, arrogant, RUDE and EXTREMELY disrespectful as fucking pricks they are. I can not lead a normal conversation with ANY of them without them offending me because i dont want to give them my hard earned money right away. Fuck you. FUCK YOU. I HOPE YOUR WHOLE FAMILY DIES IN CAR CRASH FUCKING LOSERS.
Instead of focusing on building in web3 and developing software im now stressing 90% of the time about potential scammers and focus on being careful not to get scammed......
The amount of TOXICITY in Web3 is EXTREME. This is so Fucking ANNOYING and mentally EXHAUSTING25 -
Fuck it... Right in the middle of a commit and github goes down, no fucking early Friday for me you bastards......1
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Lead dev runs the program I gave him to set up a bunch of processes that run for one database.
It has a GUI that seems native to his windows environment......but it sort of is not.
The program runs, asks for the .csv file that is to be parsed into the database.
Lead dev: Ok, what is this though?
Me (his boss) "Don't worry about it"
Him: "Holy shit what the fuck is this??? TELL ME!!!"
Me: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
Him: "WTF DID YOU MAKE THIS IN???!
ME: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
CMS Admin (another one of my employees) "Would you TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!?"
New Guy (mainly a frontend dev): ........
Meanwhile, in production, no one knows if your gui app is built in Lazarus and Free Pascal, as long as it works.
I really need to stop doing this to the lead dev, dude already keeps trying to choke me for writing things in perl.
On another note, Object Pascal is pretty cool. Might write a book on it for those that want to do CLI based applications on it, I have no clue why every book on the subject costs in euros, but there should be more shit written for beginners, language is awesome and one can get lots of mileage from Lazarus and FPC11 -
Suppose you made a tool for your STL that throws compile-time errors when trying to copy references, so your pointers remain tidy.
Suppose also that the language has a a turing-complete preprocessor that can be used to throw useful errors.
Then WHY THE FUCK DOES UNIQUE_PTR NOT OVERRIDE THE DEFAULT ERRORS WHICH TELL ME NOTHING ABOUT WHAT I FUCKED UP BUT PRETEND UNIQUE_PTR IS AT FAULT FOR NOT DEFINING "OPERATOR=" ? -
I am kinda feel broken these days :( Not even have energy to do anything... I have experience of 6 years but feeling like nothing gonna happen. Learning any tech will be waste of time.. Just wants to run away from my life and spent some time to travel but then who is gonna take care of my bills :(
Fuck this coding shit.. I am feeling like fresher again :( except this time I can't compromise with my salary . I wish me luck for upcoming year 20233 -
What the absolute fuck were you thinking Microsoft?
You're doing everything you can to ensure that those who continue to use Github are flogged and castrated?
What the fuck happened to the SSH clone link that was so easy to keep in all you had to do was *checks notes* fucking NOTHING.
It makes me question choices I have made over the last two years. Like, why don't I just host my own git server at this point? I have a couple servers running and it would cost me next to nothing.
Before anyone says anything about GitLab , I looked. I would be spending three times what I am now if I used them.
At this point it seems like a futile attempt to stay with you. I'm going to start calling you ShitHub now because it's a place where I can't get shit done without some kind of new shitty "improvement".
2022 is lining up to be a spectacular year!
Fuck you Microsoft.8 -
!dev (feel free ignore my rambling)
Fuck my piece of shit landlord that doesn't want me to provide a next tenant because they already have someone (without visiting, I believe they have some shady dealing since I noticed a pattern in regards to the last two flats that changed tenants) and doesn't give a shit about the kitchen I had built in / says "maybe you can leave it [for free] or maybeee the owner will take it but don't expect as much as 500 or 600€ and whatever the owner proposes is non negotiable [...] if you wanna take it out we'll buy a new one" (i.e. fuck you we rather pay 4k for a new one than give you the 2k it's worth)
(╯° □°) ╯︵ ┻━┻
aaaaargh this certainly doesn't help my stress levels which are already 11/10 with the flat search1 -
I have these gulp tasks to preprocess my css and html. months ago it was all polished and working great.
I run the commands today, npm complains about deprecated something and doesn't let me run... I do updates, I try to run again: "Right now osX is not supported".
I literally did not change anything all these months.
Fuck you npm.3 -
My manager sent me a Desktop screen without informing me and I also didn't ask for the same. Now, he wants me to use it. And i am like, WTF 😡😡. Who the fuck told you in ur dreams to send me this shit.8
-
I'M SICK OF YOUR FUCKING HURR DURR TRIPLE FAULT HURR DURR PAGE FAULT THANKE QEMU FOR NOT EVEN BOTHERING TO TELL ME WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENS AND FUCK YOU GDB FOR NOT WORKING
-
Stop asking me what my tattoo means, didn’t you read Shakespeare in high school. It’s whatever the fuck u want it to mean9
-
Nothing like a fucking kernel corruption after Ubuntu update and restart.
It's so great
Really
My two hard drives now are encrypted and to unlock them the kernel should be intact.
The amount of time it'll take to reconfigure my machine to work is insane.
Also, I had commits in products I'm working that weren't on remote. So fuck me.
Now I have to do a fresh install and hope that I can read my second drive.17 -
Bleh, the game awards winners are a bunch of console hand-me-downs, or console exclusives. Fuck AAA games.13
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Me: IDK how this works. Lets ask support.
PLC Support: Use these ID's to locate what you need in our documentation.
Me: Why the fuck are all of them invald and I cant find shit?!
PLC Support: 🙃🤷 -
I don't know how any company can keep on top of crazy npm package changes. I work in a REALLY SMALL team. We are still using bunch of deprecated packages and we keep building on top of those packages. Updating packages is always a nightmare. It's impossible to Google solution when no one is using the particular combination of deprecated packages. Fuck me4
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Went on a Hackathon with two friends. They didn't do shit. This week, they told me that they only knew c#, so we should switch to that. (I use Linux so I shouldn't have accepted that) Just learned that they are going to a maths camp this week and the deadline is next Sunday. Dotnet core CANNOT PARSE FUCKING JSON. I'll rewrite it in node.js, and hope that I can type fast enough to finish in time. Fuck me, fuck my lazy friends and especially fuck Microsoft for saying that they support Linux while providing a dotnet for Linux published in 200-fucking-56
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Haven't pushed anything to my github repos for over a year. Tried it today and it took me FOURTY FUCKING MINUTES to figure out this Personal Access Token HORSESHIT.
FUCK YOU GITHUB, why must every aspect of software development become spoiled by PARANOID FUCKING FUCKWEASELS?5 -
Android 12, stop telling me every other day which app has permission to access my location in the background. I know, I gave permission, and I want to keep the setting "Allow all the time". Where's the "don't ask again" option?
And why does this happen for an app released by the German federal government (about once a week) but never, ever for your shitty Google Maps that always seems to know where I've been (at least if don't leave my phone at home, which is hard to do in times when you have to show your digital proof of vaccination everywhere yo go). Fucking Android, fuck the Android 12 clunkiness (inspired by Apple's iOS?) and fuck the fucking notifications. This is my phone, I paid for it, I own it, I want to turn off this bullshit. Wait, Google, once I find time to get back to LineageOS/Cyanogenmod you will never see a trace of my digital existence again. Oh, and fuck your "digital wellbeing" as well! At least you let me turn that off. Yes, I know, I am not grateful, but that's what devrant is for, isn't it? Fuck you, Google!2 -
Tech department wants me to work on cool, innovative stuff for the company. Marketing Director doesn't think anything tech-related is worth my time or cost to company. I'm just here stagnating, building HTML templates over and over again. This guy is holding me back, not letting me develop and at the same time help the company move forward technologically.
I've been complaining about shit hosting provider for over two years now, the other day they went down for days and affects business. Only now they wake up and decide on better hosting environment.
I need to find another job or do my own thing. Fuck corporates with no sense of technological innovation.5 -
They did not renew my contract. Dude you left me hanging for a whole day (I was wondering if I even had a job or if it was just some sort of scam), then at my second task, on my third day, when I ask for a call to show me wtf was I supposed to do, told me to "just read".
The ticket was just a link to figma. I did my best, but missed some stuff that were supposed to change. It could have been avoided if you just took the time to show me around, you stupid fuck.4 -
I wish Slack had a block feature. On a social Slack, someone lashed out me and started accusing me of horrible things. Admins did nothing after I complained and said my anger wasn’t in proportion to the situation. Fuck that.
The lasher out accused me of ableism, povertyism, and condoning human rights violations. It was so outrageous that even a bystander tried to intervene because lasher out was clearly acting out on a trigger and I had not done anything to deserve it.
I had this problem with the lasher out before, but this time they went too far.
So I have one less social platform to engage with. Good riddance. I’m not participating in a place that is not a safe space.
I thought Facebook would be the one I unplugged first.12 -
Yesterday my lead architect told me that the bin packing problem is easy and all I have to do is add up the volume of each boxes to calculate the number of containers needed.
Fuck this man.4 -
Fuck Java. Why does the syntax have to always give me such a headache. It is a language where I know what I want to do, have a general idea of how to do it, and have no fucking clue what the syntax looks like.
My guess is that it all makes sense after 3 years of use. I don't want a Java job, I just want to pass my class. Fuck Java.5 -
Why the fuck does jsoncpp change their file name with every version? Somebody who knows about this, please enlighten me.9
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It's been a while since I ranted but goddamn people really need to work on fucking communication. Jesus Christ. Make it to the point and think about your listener's POV. God fucking damn it fuckity fuck I am so goddamn tired. 90%of the shit that comes out of their mouths have no point wasting my fucking time. What is the objective of what you're saying?
It's time for me to BOUNCEEE. -
I fucking hate how almost every website now requires your email to be able to download a simple document template
Why tha fuck do you need my email for????
just let me download your fucking template6 -
I didn't realise how much home office messed me up until I went into the office again... holy fuck, it feels like I just woke up from some nightmare.
I cannot explain it, but I feel a lot better now.2 -
ops: your dev environment shuts itself down on boot up, something is broken in the boot process and it'd be more trouble to figure out why so you're better off making a new one again
fuck me
and fuck you too AWS EC2 whatever -
Work day 3 of 2023… gawrram I’m bored. Another day of IaC. Unfortunately the issues I’ve dealt with today are sequential from the QA point of view. And our QA is slow us fuck today. So a lot of waiting around for me today. I’m one fucking issue away from the Great Infrastructure Update. So close, yet so far, knowing how slow our QA process is…
So here I’m sitting around in my office away from office pondering what the hell I should do with all this time…2 -
These fucking deepshet, spoiled retards
they expert me to build software not from the ground but from the fucking foundation up to release date all by myself
they also expert me to do all required research
also expert me to do the fucking marketing
they expert me to bring new fucking business
They expert me to work at High performance
They expert me to do stock inventory as well
They fucking sit me in shity meetings
WHAT THA FUCK IS THIS SHIT1 -
So I wanted to know how reading Computer Systems a Programmer's perspective would help me grow as a programmer to motivate me, I asked on StackOverflow thinking that an environment geared towards learning would help others stay motivated in their pursuit. LMFAO
and now I'm unable to post for 5 days, fuck stackoverflow and fuck those uppidy geeks,15 -
What the fuck is this syntax in a typescript file, I'm having trouble finding documentation if anybody can enlighten or link me
const [, updateThing] = useMutation(UpdateThingMutation);
The [, throws me off
i fucking hate front end22 -
website no longer lets me use it on mobile
ok, fuck you, I’ll install the mobile app
app is shod city
what10 -
Well I started learning REACT FUCKING JS because of our team requirements. I'm a Vue developer and well it's a little more complicated for me because react is way harder.
Today I started a simple project to practice react. First thing I realized was that in react project we cannot edit Webpack config by just adding a config file in project root.
WTF !
In vue we could just add few lines of codes in vue.config.js and then we were good to go!
but in REACT FUCKING JS we must install another library named Carco, which is not COMPATIBLE with latest react version!!!!!
FFS WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FRAMEWORK20 -
New office stories during the emotional turmoil...
Story 1: The creepy fuck
So being unaware of the fact that I was connected with this guy on LinkedIn already.
Ron walks upto my desk and greets me on my first day on floor. Weird, but whatever.
I politely interact, because gotta make friends and create my following to get shit done.
The next day, randomly comes asking for a laptop sticker and I am like WTF! He is like sticker was an excuse, I just wanted to say Hi!
👀
Day 3: same random creep shit. Talks about personal topics and invades personal space uninvited.
Day 4: Keeps starring at me while I ignore and judges me evidently with stupid suggestions on how to exist without being asked for.
Fuck this guy.
Story 2: The classic case of Dunning Kruger effect
So I get introduced to my tech team today and everyone start piling on me to guide them on decision making. The CTO creates a Slack thread with me and Co-founder asking me to get things moving on priority.
The co-founder shut him out right away. Fucking hilarious.
But, a retard starts schooling me on how to use Slack. Lmfao.
Me being polite, said I'll follow.. dude starts bragging on how he wrote company policy to get everyone on Slack yada yada..
To be honest, the Slack experience is beyond broken based on what these idiot has setup.
He literally opened my Slack and responded to the CTO thread.
That's where I got pissed. I upfront told him that hey! Calm your tiddies down. I know how to use Slack. I have used it since it was in the beta.
I have been in much much mucy bigger orgs and places more well structured than what you have here.
I told him on his face what the flaws where and how I felt a downgrade from where I am coming from.
The look on his face was priceless and he started sweating. Lol
Never again he'll school anyone.
I mean I understand if you are humble and genuinely guiding a new hire. But being cocky unnecessarily and shoving things down my throat without yourself knowing shit or know about the other person is purely asshole move.
Anyway, I am still upset about the scam. Fuck this world.5 -
i am terrible at using swagger autogenerated code, yaml and swagger files
dont fucking false positive pass, tell me if theres indenting wrong
also why the fuck wont you generate the code im trying to get you to generate
i fucking hate you so much, ive done this once before what am i doing wrong now -
that fucktard fat fingered this shit so hard it's rolling and hatin and I want to waterboard him so hard his offspring will have grills12
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I am implementing an API. How do I know what to do? Read the docs! Unless... there's none on the website. Asked by email and they could provide a PDF, which contains some graphics which you're free to interpret ...
Machine readable description? Nope.
How do I get to know about updates to the API? *blank stare*4 -
I had a call with my mentor today and after 6 months of hardwork, she finally gave me a go ahead to move to engineering. I am so happy but terribly emotional that I did it. I am so relieved but such a mess.
Fuck that mofo who shattered my confidence all those years ago. I wanna kick his ass. Beware of sweet talking startup founders who have nothing to show for but everything to say about. -
Working with new guy who is "senior" is such a pain. We had a factory file that is used to populate tables in endpoint tests. The new guy decided to add a static util method called createTestRecord() to a query builder model. Fucking query builder calls in a static method in a query builder class. I send him messages expressing concerns regarding his approach but never got anything back. The guy just ignored me and asked me to review his pr.
I am leaving in 4 months. Release me from my misery. Fuck my life5 -
Ok so these fucks call me back to talk about why their sites are down
1 went into maintenance mode and the other got fucking hacked and they want to pin that shit on me
Fuck these fuckers4 -
First of all... What I really like is computing. Wearing a language T-shirt and defending a framework as a New World Order activist is not me. What matters is to make the computer perform the task that I programmed, in a way that it is easy to maintain and that it executes quickly. User needs to like and operate fast. And the computer should be respected and not make it work its ass off just because it needs to load my fancy libraries. Whether the task will be done in C, C++, Go, PHP, Java, Ruby, VB, or whatever the fuck it is doesn't matter.
Fed up with people shipping a simple 2kb utility with 2GB of runtime dependencies.
IT is the only profession that advocates branding and specializes in a single tool. I've never seen an electrician who only uses a single brand screwdriver.
Fuck you fan boys.1 -
So...I think I have a job now sort of...just signed my first big long-term gig as a consultant/dev for an US based startup, pay promises to be solid, the CEO seems to be shill and they'll pay me for hours worked with a relatively low minimum which is great because that freedom will allow me to continue my projects and dumb college assignments.
Let's hope neither of the two parties fuck it up. -
The best place to code is in a library, were everyone except me is quiet and where I cannot say "fuck" every 10 minutes
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so here i am, recreating the same code.
i'm using an acceptable solution for running this on a linux system.
they updated it so blkid won't display information without root now, a dozen times. ok. fine. i get it blkid can also SET the id.
so.
lsblk -fJ
nice command, gets me the info I want.
implementing, recognizing the implementation.
good code.
why the fuck do I have to rewrite a relevant utility that bypasses google's shittiness ? why ? WHY ?2 -
!rant .
Interesting conversation between coworker 1, 2 and 3.
1 : “ hey do you know if you want to sounds like Australians , start eating spiders. Alternatively you can try to eat kiwi to sound familiar to Australian but isn’t.
2 : “ I fancy myself sugary juices and burgers everyday, but yet I am not becoming American.”
1: “No pal you should start drinking petroleum and yell FREEDOM and ‘this is my right!’ every chances you get. That’s how you become a US citizen without the green card .”
3: “bro, you are taking you are what you eat too literally and stereotypically. Let say if you guys would to suck my dick and drain my semen down your throat, won’t me you my son . But I will get the pleasure.”
John : “Yo what the fuck?”
3: “the real question is ‘yo wanna fuck?’”
1 :”you sus bro”
2: “I’m going to pretend I didn’t read that one .”
John :” 1, which ‘you’ you are referring to? 2, of course you didn’t with that amount of sugary juices.”
2: “hey this is my right!”
John: *mute the off-topic channel *
Yo like what the fuck .14 -
Uber drunk and have to get up in 3 hours for lots of meetings hooray 😵. Anyways, my boss saved my from my hell scape of a team that I was on an now I actually feel like I can contribute. Fuck anyone who tells me how to design shit. I’m really good at making stuff good - and anyone who says different is a fucking idiot.5
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Fucking Quarkus. Fucking Panache. Fucking ORM.
I wanted to do a fucking simple projection. First this piece of fuck, the Panache, won't let me do a Projection because of a fucking bug, that haven't implemented it properly until 2.12 (fuck and you call this v2?). Ok, upgraded, to the latest 2.16, cuz why the fuck, i'm upgrading already. But now the whole fucking quarkus app won't start! Noice! Ok, fuck it, let's go down exactly to 2.12. Quarkus started, perfect. But now, this pice of fuck Hibernate says 'collection was evicted' whenever i tried to read a collection in the setter (Access.PROPERTY), which worked just fucking fine before. But okay, fuck you. I'll write a @PostLoad method, fine, just fuck off.
But that's not the end! Now it says I cannot write `select parent.someColl is not null and parent.collection is empty as canProcess` because "is empty" only supported in where clauses. What fucking wonderful system! Well, fuck you. I'll write a union query. But guess what! JPA standard does not support union queries, nor HQL (Eclipse Link does, btw). Ok, fuck this shit, let's write a native query. But hey, fucking Panache does not support that. There is no fucking place in their fucking docs stating anything about how to use native queries.
So, fuck you quarkus, fuck you panache, fuck you hibernate, fuck you overcomplicated limiting bullshit called full-fledged ORMs. I'm moving to a fucking mybatis and fuck it. It's simple as fuck, does not fucking restrict me in writing whatever shit query I want to write and let's me map the shit just fine.1 -
You know what, fuck this. I want a functionality that is supported on browser versions back to 2016 of the major browsers... Besides IE, where it isn't supported.
But honestly fuck IE users, they can have invisible characters. Certainly no other people above me in the management structure will be using old computers enough to lose it, or at least the head honcho should be able to overrule, as from past experience if it works on my machine and my boss' boss' machine, my boss' machine doesn't matter.1 -
Ok being a developer and a technical assistant at the same time
Yesterday was out in the field we where fixing network at one insurance company and extending telephone line to of the offices....man what a labor intense job....
we had to drill a whole on one of those metal trunking.... man those fuckers are hard as fuck
having had spent the whole fucking day out the office i get a call saying 1 of the laptops at the office didnt have OS installed and one had a defected screen and they where in stock
and Im supposed to be checking these laptops when they come before going into stock
and Im like WTF!!??? confused and shit + being tired
got back to the office and fuck it was a shit show
the whole technical department got fucked over this and Up to now I have no fucking idea how those laptops got into stock and we missed it
My only answer is they never came for checking and if you try to air that out they will say you are try to blame some1 else for the fuck up and FUCK it
We had to write reports this morning me had 2 from the tender issue
fuck this
fuck this
fuck this fucking shity place -
I have come to the conclusion that I'm dumb as fuck.
I have been stuck on this trivial problem for 1 HOUR AND 46 MINUTES...
https://leetcode.com/problems/...
maybe, hopefully, just because i'm trying to do it in a "clever" way, maybe if i just did it the dumbest, most inefficient way i can think of, it would take me "only" like 15 minutes, but at this point i'm not so sure... :(37 -
Spent a couple of weeks on writing a cronjob which updates a certain value in the application config, and spend the last few months on testing it in different environments to make sure it does not fail in production. Ran the deployment script, and the damn cronjob fails because of ssl certificate on production. fuck me
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After working in this godforsaken clusterfuck for half a decade, where no one knows what the fuck git is, and they just use a single git branch like SVN…
Ive oddly come to like resolving merge conflicts. It’s strangely calming, almost like playing games.
Do let me know how fucked in the head I am, my emotional compass is probably buried 4 feet deep under a pile of retarded commits.2 -
CREA DDF (Canada Real state listings API) is what you get when government fucks with technology.
Holy shit! So f*cking inefficient to use it, test it and get data.
I get the protection behind sensitive data but fuck me if there is not a lot of waiting behind their fucking application process just to fetch some testing data.1 -
Fuck Android development tools! What the fucking hell man?! I can't setup and run a simple hello world app!! And that's not the first time. I have tried this on multiple occasions throughout the years and always failed. Non-matching? multiple versions of build-tools, platforms, platform-tools, cmdline-tools, system-images, ... and binaries moving from folder to another between updates and Java, oh don't get me started on Java. I'm too old for this stuff.3
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No one gives a shit about the fact i have computer science degree. No employer has asked me. Nobody cares. I can't get hired anywhere and i was promised to surely find a job if i have a degree. 6 years of nerve wrecking of my fucking life for a degree wasted in fire. I was SCAMMED. "Software engineering" universities are a fucking SCAM. SCAMMMMM. Fuck you. I'll make my own course and scam desperate people the same way universities do it. The same way andrew tate does it. Fuck you.
In life i learned that you will be successful ONLY IF:
- you have luck
- you're a wealthy millionaire
- you have connections
And you will FAIL IF:
- you try to do good and be fair
Fuck you12 -
No it’s ok you can power trip on me that’s fine, it’s just now your delivery is going to be months late. So who’s fault is it really?
Fuck you - fight me bitch. -
Comment in a PR to use ur little component in the 50 pages of docs because it looks better. Fine.
Write 30min after i submitted the changes that it doesn't look as good as you thought and you can go fuck yourself fr. Should have tried it before asking me to change it everywhere mf -
I spent 2 years as android dev, after that another 2 years as game dev (current work).
Now I wanna go back to being android dev but I kinda lost self confidence and feels like I'm starting from square 1. Also I will struggle explaining my 2 years gap of working with game development.
Feels like I'm a junior in the area. Feeling totally useless since the way I am now I couldn't even pass android dev interview or complete a tech task.
Having ADHD doesn't help with his. Having gained +25kg and being a fat fuck doesn't help also.
Fuck me.6 -
If I'm so fucking vital to the meeting then why the fuck did you made the meeting so fucking inconveniently early for me so you can put your new fucking designers in the fucking call.
-
Anyone else get frustrated by the dust that sits on top of your computer?
Fuck me but I fucking hate this dusty shit, keep cleaning the screen and the keypad but oh well, next time I open there it is - all in its glory.
And there's this fucking constant worry that shit that dust might've gotten inside the laptop and now the performance is gonna fuck up.
SO FUCKING IRRITATING AARGH3 -
Fuck all of that ego shit, that lil boys club garbage. Fucking douchebag. Don't project your insecurities on me you fucking pissbaby. I gladly invite you to eat my great pumpkin, dumptruck-sized, volumptuous ass. I hope god sends millions of ants after you and they eat you slowly. Why cant you just be nice to others.9
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took me four hours plus to get a nodejs app to successfully run on cpanel.
at this point I just want to sleep and sleep forever.
why will anyone ever want to deal with this?
the ssh access? complete crap but it was better than having to deal with the janky ui, it was also slow as fuck1 -
Terraform + helm-chart ... I really ned a break. Who the fuck invented this shit.
The HCL format sucks
The documentation sucks
The dev tools suck
The debug output sucks
But I'm ok with that, I can manage.
But today really it shot the bird ... I can't have a fucking comma in a string? Because idk why the fuck helm-release tries to parse that fucking string and wants to make an array or whatever out of it? Why, you fucking abomination?
Something in the docs? Nah, who reads them anyway.
Because you know it's totally not strange that a string is analyse and oh wait there's a comma in it, the dev surely wants me to make an array out of it, because you know ...
So now I have to escape my fucking comma to prevent it to parse my fucking string. I just want to have a fucking string you hideous monstrosity ....1 -
Is it normal waiting 10 weeks since raise request to actually get a raise?
I understand that its summer, vacations are here and there, our branch is in EU and headquarters are US, but its been 10 freaking weeks.
Long story short I joined this company 5 months ago and because of a break I lowballed myself. After 3 months before my probation period I asked for a raise. So 10 weeks passed and since then I got a pat on a back saying that feedback is positive, but I cant pay my bills with that positive feedback.
I seriously started polishing my skills and think of leaving in a few weeks to couple months time because this is unnaceptable. I have no love for this job anymore and I will do bare minimum just like half of my team and if they dont like it they can fcking fire me (which never happened in 6 years of my career).
My asked bump is 43% but the thing is if I go contracting I will get 65%-105% more.
So fuck your corporate red tape, fuck your incompetent sleepy employees who drag everything out for weeks, fuck your vacation and fuck your 2 months bonus at the end of the year. I dont want to became a slow incompetent shit like all of you.2 -
I just realized being alive in this life is actually a punishment. Who enjoys this life if they are not rich? Wtf.
I have to spend thousands of dollars for my dogs treatment because hes sick. Those greedy vets are fucking disgusting. I dont have energy to talk about how money hungry they are and not actually helping.
Literally giving away my last dollars to help my dog. These doctors don't give a Fuck if hes gonna survive they are here just to milk as much money as they can from me. Im fuckijg sick of this life and world. I didnt sign up for this struggle.5 -
Why there are so many bugs in angular? Why the fuck zoneJS freaks out when asyncValidator and *ngIf depend on the same observable. Fuck me4
-
To the slackers on this team - fuck you all.
I know you don’t work during the day. I’m either getting another job or moving into management, and god help you if either happens. Your current manager has been watching you like a hawk, but he’s scared of attrition. But if his manager pushes him on it he’ll PIP you all. He hates you too.
If I get a new job - our manager’s manager will know, our manager will get pressure to PIP you, and you’ll endure months of hell while every stakeholder with deadlines realizes they can tighten the screws on you and if you don’t respond well you’ll be seen as even bigger fuckups.
If I move into management - PIPs incoming. You’ve made my life hell. But I’m going to make sure you’re stuck in this hell with me for as long as possible. That transfer you wanted? Fuck no, you will maintain this legacy system under increasingly unreasonable deadlines until you quit. Should’ve done your work back when there was still time. And until you quit, it will be torture. I plan on asking for constant status updates that are sure to break your flow. And when you quit - better leave us off those references.
Fuck you. The rest of the team is working overtime because of your shitty personality. I know you like this job - get ready to lose it and watch everyone who’s been chomping at the bit to make your life miserable take swings at you.7 -
Chrome drag & drop bookmarks stopped working
What the dickens is going on …this annoys the fuck out of me..upgrade?1 -
Dude ist sysadmin at server Pool hosting our app for the client.
Client: something minor is not working.
Dude: Let me just restart app, works at my windows laptop everytime or whatever.
*restarts app, hangs on entrypoint*
Dude: Dear client it's brocken.
Clients: *calls us in panic.*
Horus: Dear dude, when it hangs on startup consider to download an update because we fixed some issues with in theis area recently. Also maybe enlarge the docker compose timeout.
Dude: Still does not start up.
Horus: ok just call me on this Zoom link, then we can debug together.
Dude:...
Dude:...
Dude:...
Dude: oh i just saw it did startup mean while, it just took some time.
Fuck you dude, and your impatience!1 -
Get my lightweight WASM "runtime" thing to work properly.
Don't you just hate all the emscringtem glue code? Yes, me too. And fuck WASI.8 -
I started using WordPress in the 1990's - building all kinds of sites that looked OK until all the plugins and new themes came along. As the years have gone by I've become bored with all the tedious little errors and bugs. To the point that I abandoned my print website 10 years ago.
Just tried to edit it today and FUCK NO get me out of here. It's like painting a Rembrandt with a fucking elastic band.6 -
so i was having snack time at my preschool, right after nap time guys, and this was recently btw. and then this IDIOT named jack comes over and steals some of the crackers, before snack time is even ready!! and he gets away with it, the fucking bastard he is and then i try it, and get in trouble BUT THE THING IS, THE TEACHERS WERE LOOKING AT HIM WHILE HE DID IT. THATS WHAT PISSED ME OFF!!! FUCK THAT BASTARD NAMED JACK!!!4
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I bought a software from FastSpring which claimed it could stop automatic updates, but I was late entering the key for it. Wouldn't you know that a fucking update came in before I could stop it: what geniuses these fkg assholes at MS are! Changed every goddamned setting, killed my old printer, can't find the second monitor, changed the start menu, power settings. FUCK YOU MICROSOFT, YOU ARE DUMBFUCK SHITHEADS TO NOT ALLOW ME THE FREEDOM TO OWN MY OWN COMPUTER! And who the fuck in the government allowed this shit to happen?? The land of the free, my ass.5
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Join and Smart Recruiters is really trying very hard to overtake Workday as the worst job application platform.
Join has the effrontery to send me reminder emails to fill in the same details already contained in the resume I uploaded. What the fuck is wrong with these people?1 -
How the fuck you people do load testing ?
Don't tell me JMeter, it's useless as it doesn't represent an actual browser session...
I'm not taliong "test APIs" but the whole user experiance....
Can't find a single tool which does it at 1000+ sessions....7 -
You know I'm tired of the fucking memory noise of some twisted fuck working for twisted fucks laboring off some set of idiotic arbitrary stereotypes trying to get me to do the same fucking things by baiting me like a fucking dog
I want people to live their fucking lives and the social problems in this world to just be solved
None of this in last generation or twisted dumb fucks and their insensible number games that were used to program them
I want everything cleaned up and fixed and evil people to cease being evil and no more stupid loop2 -
Omg why are social cards so hard to debug? Did no one think of such obscure techniques as local debugging? And why doesn't Twitter show me the error message? It's the same code for fuck sake! It works with one article but not with another. There MUST be some very exact problem with one of my images, but Twitter just doesn't fucking give me a proper log.1
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!rant, but satisfying.
Got pulled in to a demo for some work that I had been apart of previously, but not recently since I had rolled on to a client. The Manager in charge of the work had fought me being pulled on to said client, as he wanted me committed to this project (which I didn't want to be invovled with). I had rolled off the engagement earlier this week, which is why I suspect I was included in this demo. So we are going through the motions, they are asking questions, I'm sitting quietly watching. out of the blue, Manager dude decides he wants to ask me a difficult question, because I'm sure he assumes he will stump me. I respond with "Not sure I'm the best to answer that specific question, since I haven't worked on this in a minute". He confirms that he only wants me to answer. So I do. And boy was I glad his camera was on, because he went from "Got em" to "Fuck, he got me" in a matter of seconds, and I could barely keep from smiling. After my answer, I respond with "Anything else you'd like to know?" to which he mutters "No, thank you" and quickly moves on. Talk about a victory. I'll ride this high through next week, I think.1 -
https://gizmodo.com/linux-google-ma...
Substituting one evil empire for several others
Also
😭😭😭😭😭I wanna hump my blonde extremely special FBI friend again or some attractive variation thereof with an actual set of emotions a personality and sense of humor and shoot the fuck who rufied me ! Or ask him stuff to death would be better2 -
Least I wasn't allowed to mourn that evil fuck
Bad enough I mourned my mother before knowing course they lessened that blow by her basically abandoning me when I needed her and not reaching out to me for years
Course would have been nice to know he died much earlier and these others are imposters
That's all fucking with the year etc has done. Cause problems for people who don't deserve them. -
I’m sorry girls but I can’t trust y’all 🤷♂️. Periodt.
Also, who wants to get a hot dog with me rn. Im fucking starving my goober gabb off, I feel like a sage fasting for the sake of personal holyness, but like fuck that I’m zooted and I need a dog.2 -
Fuck I'm crazy and need to enable you to do new things that don't mess with your principles or distress youso you do new things and uncrazy me13
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How the fuck would u be so fucking stupid enough to create a site with EPiServer/Optimizely and it’s piece of shit organization, community, developers, etc… is this some sort of fresh hell I have been banished to? Why am I cursed with working with this horrible, slimy, awful platform. It’s giving me an aneurysm just fucking thinking about how shitty this ecosystem is setup. Someone needs to burn it. Burn it all to the fucking ground, I have had enough and it is a stain on our society.
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opengrok doesn't support searching special character forward slash? /
http://bxr.su/help.jsp
like fuck me that's the slash im more interested in, can't remember ever needing or wanting to search for a \ backslash5 -
So I wanted to learn rust, and I was thinking: practice is the best way so naturally I went on to leetcode
After spending 4 hours to solve two questions I was like: fuck it, why do I need to go back and forth to the discussion page, why not just show it to me.
So now I spent 4 days to develop a chrome extension that shows the top 10 solutions in the discussion page for a specific question with specific language.
I showed to friend and she was like: you look at the discussion?
The moment I realized that I developed a hot pile of garbage3 -
Me: I’m having trouble filling out the state tax form online. The form won’t let me check the box “I live in X city.”
HR: You don’t have to fill out the form if it doesn’t apply to you.
Me: Why are you treating me like an idiot? And why the fuck are you making assumptions about where I live? -
Now watch I know this game
Either they're trying to make me freak out and work extra hard so I'll be disappointed
Or they're trying to make me freak out and be disappointed afterwards after doing good work
Or they're trying to make me happy but have it be disappointed in the end from loss of income
Fuck them lol6