Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Me: Goodnight!!
Brain: psst..
Me: What?
Brain: How can you just leave that piece of code behind? Unfinished?7 -
We accept that the brain is the most important organ, but really, what organ is telling you that?
Fucking Brain.4 -
After finishing up 70% of a feature,
Brain: "there's a better way to do it"
Me: "ok ill just change a bit of code here and there.."
-- 2 hours later --
swimming in spaghetti code..7 -
It's funny, whenever the subject of facebook vs privacy comes up (mostly I don't even initiate those convo's), people always start to defend facebook when I say that I THINK that facebook is build to get people addicted to it and get them to stay on facebook as long as possible.
Haha, one of facebook's early investers/ex facebook presidents said the following in an interview:
“It’s a social-validation feedback loop, exactly the kind of thing that a hacker like myself would come up with, because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology.”
So even an ex president of facebook is admitting this.
I also found the folloing a good one:
The underlying thought process while creating platforms like Facebook or Instagram is something like “How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?”
Last but not least, the part I found the most scary:
“God only knows what it’s doing to our children’s brains.”
Yes, I find this scary.
Oh yeah and for the people who are going to call bullshit on this one, I've got one source and if you search engine on the title of that article then you'll find loads of websites having that story:
https://fossbytes.com/facebook-was-...26 -
When your brain only functions at night and morning meetings with your team make you look like you never coded in your life.1
-
*Me enjoying life*
Brain: You're wasting your potential. You should work more.
*Me on the job working*
Brain: You're wasting your youth. You should go out and enjoy life.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, BRAIN?
Brain: No productivity! Only Guilt!19 -
Me: I've been using ubuntu with i3 for 6 months. Is awesome. Everything works great.
Brain: Have you seen debian or arch linux. They're better than ubuntu. Just try' em
Me: Brain shut up. I don't have time to reinstall everything + I'll 100% fuck my pc up. I'll do it another time.
Brain: Trust me. I know what's better for you. Try it now
Me: No.
Brain: Pleeeeease.
Me: Ok fine.
Me: Now windows doesn't work, debian doesn't work. I need to format my hard drive and do this shit all over again.
Brain: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Hey. Install arch linux.9 -
BRAIN_UNCAUGHT_EXCEPTION
Could not execute "sleep()", as main thread was busy thinking about why a beautiful girl would just handle me her number.
Ok we did get on well but it was unexpected nevertheless
Thank you brain for wasting my day 👍11 -
Good morning everyone (atleast for my Time Zone), god bless you all !
been following my morning silly brain for 3 hours to write an 8086 assembler CPU and RAM emulator. after 1 hour of debugging, time to polish it and refactoring.
7 -
Another fucking rant about my fucking goldfish brain.
At meetings, I usually note down things I need to fix, to do on the sticky note pad that comes with the OS, currently Mint.
I sat at my desk.
Looked at my notes.
Decided to properly put them as tasks on trello.
I copied all notes, planning to paste it on a trello card quickly.
Then I can just work on trello and separate into different tasks.
Connection issue.
Ethernet said connected but websites are not showing up.
Maybe restart will fix since I haven't opened any app and started working anyway.
Reboot.
Internet works.
Yayyy.
Trello showed up.
Yayyy.
oooh
f
u
c
k.
fuck.
fuck.14 -
It's way past midnight, I just want to sleep aaaaaand my brain is thinking of a very interesting application to write..
A pause function for my brain would be fucking amazeballs :/4 -
Ever have this day:
Brain: I'm done for the day.
Me: Why can't I get this logic right?
Brain: I said I'm DONE
*Commence head nod snooze while your boss walks by* -
So I was procrastinating on my side project, then somehow started a new one but this time with three partners, now I procrastinate on this new project by working on my side project.
GREAT4 -
When the client rings up saying the website is down. I say can you see any other sites. They say, no, nothing is coming up. It's your internet connection, kindly fuck off!
-
So I got 10 days of national holidays now starting tomorrow, gonna learn some PowerBI and neural network for college paper material. Problem is my brain just not fuckin good enough to absorb all of this algorithm. Fuck brain12
-
Does anyone have a website or group that I can follow to get inspiration for design? It can be colours, web design, and logos6
-
Yesterday ... well no, today it was, I couldn't go to sleep because my brain couldn't stop thinking about solutions for this problem I had and I literally got up from bed and went to my computer to test my ideas. It still didn't work and eventually I got so tired that I went back to bed, I was still thinking about solutions when I fell asleep.12
-
I wish I could type into my brain:"dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda bs=512 count=1337"
To delete everything of my ex gf memories...
She just wrote a message, again...22 -
Trying to sleep
Brain knows that I have vacation;
"Psst hey, dont waste your vacation on sleeping"
Damnit brain!2 -
I started drinking coffee when I started as a junior dev.
I loved its boost, but after a while being on coffee was exactly how I felt before as normal. I incrementally upped the dosage, while my resistance creeped up too. I reached a moment when I drank a liter daily, so I witched to yerba maté instead, which resulted in more potent brews. Then I got used to its strength too plus it tasted like horseshit. I switched to caffeine tablets, takingg more and more. Soon after I reached a level which was described medically as the top one should be allowed to take.
I no longer felt any boost. In between caffeinated moments of normalty, I felt like a brain-dead zombie. When I was caffeinated, I was jittery, my shoulder and eyebrow was glitching, my stomach was flexing like before taking a huge exam.
After some miserable time like that, I quit caffeine entirely. I was fatigued, dull and my mind was hazy for te next 1-2 weeks.
I then finally, became gradually normal again.
I drink tea and coffee only socially, perhaps a few times in a month, and never after too much later than noon.
Now I can't wear my "Programmer. Converts coffee into code" shirt anymore. Apart from that, I'm much better off :)
What's your coffee story?14 -
I would like to take a moment to thank my brain.
I dreamed about the code I need to write to create something I was struggling with! Logically it all make sense!
Just needs to try it and see how it goes.
Thank you Brain!5 -
> clicks Twitter shortcut
*dns probe failed*
"oh, is cloudflare dns down?"
> goes to cloudflarestatus.com
*dns probe failed*
"ah, right dns isn't working..."6 -
This kind of random stuff happens to me often:
*comes home from going out*
*wants to sleep badly*
Brain: heyyy, why don't we take a look at some vps discounts!!!
Me: please, I want to FUCKING sleep.
Brain: oh come on...
Me: pls don't do this to me..
Brain: But vps discounts...
Me: oh FUCK YOU, I'll go look up some stuff.
My brain can be weird and annoying.8 -
That feeling when you're supposed to debug code someone else wrote a decade ago but it's such a horrible mess that your brain just gives up and you end up staring at your monitor for an hour in confusion 😵8
-
So i look at my phone checking how late it is...
I put my phone back into my pocket...
My brain is like "time = null;"1 -
Me: okay brain! We had our morning coffee. We're ready to work. Lots of things to do today.
Brain: yay! I feel unstoppable! Can't wait for logic problems and amazing things we're going to build! What's the plan?
Me: great! Today we're going to work on the ios implementation of our app. Where should we start?
Brain: ...
Me: brain?1 -
Dude picking his brain over my coke. Yes I mean attempting to tickle his brain trough the nose hole.
A piece of nasal excrement landed in my coke and made it go fizz, that was how I noticed.6 -
It is a truly great moment when your work finally is integrated in the website of the biggest news paper of the country and visible to hundreds of thousands of people.
I'm not feeling insignificant anymore. 😄
Next step: Rule the world.8 -
*My friend texting me*
Friend: wtf
My brain: w tf
My brain again: tf
My brain again: import tensorflow as tf
😂😂am brain dead3 -
Wow i must have been brain dead when i wrote this code. Needed to exclude certain elements from response for the the list of objects.
for (obj : objects) {
If (obj.skipFromResponse()) {
break
}
add obj to response
}
I used break instead of continue at the if condition which meant it would break out of the loop at the first instance of condition being met.
This went through qa and has been in production for 4 weeks so how did this not break before. Well little did i know the list of objects was sorted and all the test data, qa data and everything so far in production coincidentally only had the last element with matching condition. This meant it returned everything correctly so far.
Today was the first time there was a situation where this caused incorrect output. Luckily as soon as I heard the description of the issue I remembered to check the merged PR and hung my head in shame for making such trivial error. I must have written way more complicated code without any problem but this made me embarrassed to even admit. 🤦♂️4 -
People:
- human brain is imperfect, makes too many mistakes
- let's make a computer that could perform perfect precise calculations
- computers are imperfect, require a set of clearly predefined rules [by human] to operate
- let's create a computer that behaves like human brain - an AI
- ...
Guess what's gonna be the next entry :)18 -
https://5dchesswithmultiversetimetravel.com/...
Someone took chess and made it a 5 dimensional game
I tried playing, and I got checkmated 6 moves in the past by a knight from an entirely different branch
I think my brain melted3 -
Me: closes eyes and says to myself how I MUST get some sleep..
My brain: *starts thinking about keywords MUST, SHOULD, REQUIRED and how those are defined in RFC-2119*
Why I just can't get some normal sleep, could it be licensing issue with my brain? 🙈2 -
Dear brain, could u please work?
"No you motherfugging arsehole, scratch the sand out of your vagina and make yourself your own processor. Fuck u."
Seems like it's the jolly season of "my brain is uncooperative and unwilling".1 -
If you think learning a language / working with a language you don't like is offensive to you and your morals .. Then don't do it.
Money is important to you ? Then you're just prostituting yourself to some higher authority. So DONT COMPLAIN!
You have the right to hate stuff while being paid for it. Understandable.
But don't shit on the shit you think is shit just cause you put yourself in the situation of not having an option !!
You're a worthless. Money hungry whore.
Yes, you hate Java/ x language but have to work on it ?
You're either a whore or have serious problems with standing up for yourself, but on the internet you become this amazing troll saying the language has problems.
Half the people who hate languages hate them cause it's common to hate them. Like being racist in the early American ages cause it was "normal".
Brain deficient motherfucking whores. Manipulated cocksuckers.
Sidenote : if you've honestly gotten shit on by a new version of the language you were using .It's understandable and I'm on your side. Using it without thorough research on the other hand is your mistake. Languages aren't ideal. Just Like most women don't like your dick cause, well it doesn't fit their use case. Deal with it not, troll about it.
I'm not like you. I experiment with whatever I like before using it. I work on my own stuff. I suck my own fucking dick and I get paid.
If you honestly disagree with me, put a couple points down on the language you hate and why you hate it ( considering the fact that you have actually used it and are not just trying to disagree with me )21 -
What is up with people asking for help and then immediately getting pissy like the first fuckin thing you say?
Shut the fuck up and let me help you, damn.9 -
Clicks "Exploitation and Enumeration" category.
Clicks "Python (HARD)" challenge.
"What is a key that passes the code?"
Opens Python file and sees one line of nested lambda expressions spanning 1,846 characters (no spaces)
*Cries*8 -
When you find out you passed the exam in which you guessed half of the answers ! 🎆🎉🎊
The algorithms of my brain seem to work well 🤣
This is now my second best module and I didn't study a lot hahaha4 -
Hi.
Programming language types are only two:
- Assembly
- All the rest
I'm destroyed, my brain is melted.
Assembly is hate and love at the same time.2 -
If you ever feel that you have a shitty job just remember that there is a programming language called Brainfuck and at least once in time it was someone's job to debug a real program written in Brainfuck. For context, this is a 'Hello World' program in Brainfuck:
++++++++[>++++[>++>+++>+++>+<<<<-]>+>+>->>+[<]<-]>>.>---.+++++++..+++.>>.<-.<.+++.------.--------.>>+.>++.
And here is the same program in the Python programming language:
print('Hello World')10 -
Silly and stupid me.
Woke up.
Check phone. Check devRant.
Saw Trogus's filter update post.
Happy and left a comment.
Went to playstore and update.
Open devRant and use the feature.
Tried to filter only Rants and Questions type.
Happy and went back to sleep again bcz Saturday.
Continue the rest of day with other stuffs.
Use devRant again.
"Huh why the heck is the first post about some random quote?"
"Why the hell is second post meme"
"Why...why...why"
Check filter feature again.
Facepalm.
Silly me and stupid my eyes and useless my brain is not worthy for good and clean UIUX.4 -
Everyone has two brains : left brain and right brain.
But your left brain has nothing right and your right brain has nothing left -
I wish I was one of those brain dead sheep that study hard, fall in love, take selfies, get a job , go clubbing, get married, attend cocktail parties and make more brain dead sheep....4
-
Unfortunately, "developer brain" does not respond. You have the following options:
Option A
Refill coffee-mug, drink and keep on waiting for a response.
Option B
Go to sleep.1 -
Funny how human brains are never satisfied.
Not much to be done at work today? My job is unproductive and I am wasting my time.
Too much work? You think you fucking own me, bitches!!1 -
Just found this absolute 5 head, galaxy brain implementation in a piece of code which is called in a loop by a background scheduler which has performance issues.
There are 20+ properties, some which are recursively calling other properties with the same implementation style in this class.
Constant out of memory errors have been reported for this software, I wonder why...
15 -
Just remembered that I forgot to push all day's work..
Now my scumbag brain is going to keep me awake all night thinking about all the shit that can go wrong...
Great1 -
Am I the only one whose brain fully stops when going through an emotional rollercoaster? And then the same brain tries to find escape and fucks up magnificently by causing unnecessary drama?20
-
I hate being sick. I have the brain power to come up with project ideas and the motivation to carry them through, but I don't have the brain power to actually do them.1
-
When is the point where you aren't allowed to touch your own AI anymore?
When it's capable of speech?
When it shows emotions?
When it becomes self aware?
When does it stop being file deletion and start becoming murder?5 -
**** $h!t **** $h!t WHY IN THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU KEEP FORGETTING AND FORGETTING TO BRING A SINGLE EARPHONES TO OFFICE???? BRAIN, WHYYYYYY?4
-
* You can barely keep your eyes open
* Reading rants becomes impossible
* You decide to go to sleep
Brain uses overload
* You mind is flooded with creativity
* You don't feel tired anymore
* Your phone is suddenly back in your hand
"Brain, why did you so that?"
Brain: "Because fuck you I guess. I wanna read more rants!"1 -
Dear colleagues. Please use your brain. Don't ask me the same things over and over again. It's really annoying... 😡2
-
Anyone else having a hard time switching between languages? :/
if(this.isActive and this.isVisible):
...
Java, JS and SQL at work, Python in my own projects...10 -
And the time has come, my gf and I are just a month away from deploying yet we still call the project "project".
Usually solutions jump in my head when programming at least once a day but I can't name the damn thing for the love of God! It's the first night since we started development I have felt clueless.
Plus I don't want to be "that guy" that just gives it a generic name, like there's already a "ratemyprofessors", professor this, teacher that, fuck that shit!
I'm brain dead.
8 -
me: Hey. This looks like a cool component that will save me lots of time and effort in the project I'm kicking off next week.
/* Two months later */
me: WTF was the name of that component that did that thing?
======================
I really should write things down more often.1 -
"Startup (called Nectome) wants to upload your brain to the cloud, but has to kill you to do it"
https://theguardian.com/technology/...
No thanks, I am sure NSA will kick in.4 -
When you take a bathroom break thinking of code while absentmindedly soaking your pants and shoes with pee1
-
My brain used to be normal and I used to think callback is bizarre.
Now I understand callback and my brain has become bizarre. -
It took me way too long to understood what I wrote few weeks ago. After looking at the code for few minutes and looking at my db structure, I finally realized. I also instantly remembered that I wrote that "user is shown as ad" comment hoping I will not confuse myself in future. Apparently I failed.
Temporarily added next line of comment to help the future me.
Deep down I know that I should change function name itself to become clearer, more meaningful and easier to understand.
But writing that comment, making those screenshots, combining the 2 images in Pinta and writing this rant is faster than thinking the new name.
3 -
I can't motivate myself to read or understand all these papers and tutorials... I wish I had a backup brain somewhere. 🙄1
-
You get home from work and one half of your brain goes, "Let's just code a little to catch up on the backlog", and the other half of your brain goes, "No way you psycho, we're off from work and we're not getting paid for this. I'm not helping!"
And that's why you're code sucks when you're not at work! -
Todays story: conversation between me and my brain about a app that i have planned for a long while.
The application is just a huge, specyfic json editor/manager for a game that i like. The game uses json files to determine unit charactetistics. So in order to make modding easier i want to make a tool for that that is fancier and easier to use than a notepad.
Brain> Lets make a app that allows you to mod the game easier!
Me> Good idea. How would you want to make it?
Brain> Lets use C# cause you main that lang currently and you have experience with json parser lib.
Me> That is true. So what do you wanna implement first?
Brain> Oh. I have thought about it before! I want to implement: (10 000 features) and maybe few more later!
Me> It sounds like a infinity project, shouldnt you implement like 1 or 2 features at first and then jump to other ones?
Brain> Yes... but i dont wanna refactor those features latter so let just implement them all at once!
Me> Dammit brain! Let just implement just one feature now! Like a simple json editor. You can use inhieritance to reuse the code later.
Brain> Ok...
* Starts with that one feature but one day later starts coding 6 more *
* Cant publish the app yet, the code looks like shit, gui is unfinished because brain wanted only to test those 6 unfinished features without propely implementing them *
Me> Brain WTF! You said that you are going to focus on one feature at the time!
Brain> I got carried a bit...
Me> ...
Me> Ok. I understand. Let just refactor the code and clean the project out of those unfinished features.
Brain> No. I have a depression now...
Me> FUCK.
* 2 month passes by without any progress on ANY of my projects*
current day
Brain> I still have depression...
Me> Ok i dont care about that anymore! Tell me something that i dont know!
Brain> Oh I have good news as well!
Me> ???
Brain> What about the home server that is going to store all mods made by the users so they can share it? It would be a good practice with networking!
Me> * Gives up *1 -
*leaning back in the story chair*
One night, a long time ago, I was playing computer games with my closest friends through the night. We would meet for a whole weekend extended through some holiday to excessively celebrate our collaborative and competitive gaming skills. In other words we would definitely kick our asses all the time. Laughing at each other for every kill we made and game we won. Crying for every kill received and game lost. A great fun that was.
Sleep level through the first 48 hours was around 0 hours. After some fresh air I thought it would be a very good idea to sit down, taking the time to eventually change all my accounts passwords including the password safe master password. Of course I also had to generate a new key file. You can't be too serious about security these days.
One additional 48 hours, including 13 hours of sleep, some good rounds Call of Duty, Counter Strike and Crashday plus an insane Star Wars Marathon in between later...
I woke up. A tiereing but fun weekend was over again. After I got the usual cereals for breakfast I set down to work on one of my theory magic decks. I opened the browser, navigated to the Web page and opened my password manager. I type in the password as usual.
Error: incorrect password.
I retry about 20 times. Each time getting more and more terrified.
WTF? Did I change my password or what?...
Fuck.
Ffuck fuck fuck FUCKK.
I've reset and now forgotten my master password. I completely lost memory of that moment. I'm screwed.
---
Disclaimer: sure it's in my brain, but it's still data right?
I remembered the situation but until today I can't remember which password I set.
Fun fact. I also could not remember the contents of episode 6 by the time we started the movie although I'd seen the movie about 10 - 15 times up to that point. Just brain afk. -
I like these rants beginning with "fuck!!!"
It makes me feel unbelievable good!
It literrallycleans up my brain!!!!!!
Fuck!1 -
Update on the API based game that I’m working on.
All of the game logic and API is mostly done.
Here is a gif which shows a few turns with a very simple "AI" vs a passive bot.
I’m bad at graphics so a went for a more abstract UI:
The arrows represent the looking direction of the units and the black dots represent the direction of the shots being fired at a particular turn. Units can look and move and shoot in different directions in one turn.
https://devrant.com/rants/10176221/...
10 -
me: I want to look into using an MVC for my websites...
brain: Nope, not gonna happen, we're gonna stick to the simple inclusion of site pieces directly in the front-end code instead.
me: but but but
brain: I SAID NO!2 -
Machine learning is hard! Spent a whole day with Weka and it's Neural Networks. God my brain. There is too much to know before being really equipped to use this tool... especially from code.6
-
I hate my brain.
When I want to program it's always when I'm outside doing chores, on a trip or when I'm at my non-dev job.
When I finally get home and ready for working on projects my brain feels like watching Schwarzenegger films instead.
Fuck you brain.1 -
There are 3 incorrectly labeled fruit baskets (all 3 are incorrectly labeled). One basket has only ORANGES, another one has only APPLES, and the other has mixed ORANGES-APPLES. You can't see anything. You can only pull out 1 fruit from 1 of those baskets. With that, move each label to it's corresponding basket.2
-
This shit is fascinating, especially reading about the variations in function of the various brodmann areas:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
My favorite schizo-interpretation of this is "your head is full of bees."
i.e. brodmann area 10, which is thought to be responsible for memory recall strategies (basically an adaptive memory allocator and heap) has about 250 million neurons in a pinprick of a volume.
A bee has about 1 million neurons.
In otherwords: the part of your brain that decides how memory is managed has only the equivalent brainpower of 250 bees, lol.
Obviously a simplification-to-the-level-of-absurdity but it's fun to intentionally interpret something to the level of distortion.11 -
Just imagine sicknesses spreading through internet.
I mean real human sicknesses. Of course your laptop can’t generate aids, but hey, did you ever have a song stuck in your head, repeated infinitely? Memes, viral videos, modern pop music, it looks just like perfect delivery mechanisms.
Human brain is flawed and buggy, vulnerable to countless things like optical illusions, uncanny valley, nlp and others. It’s obvious that there is some audiovisual input sequence that may have arbitrary side effects.
We are towards invention of some precisely formed pieces of information that’ll damage your brain forever, maybe drive you insane so there’ll be no way back. Delivered via viral media straight to your brain, destroying it irreversibly.
Be ready to face the future.2 -
A brain whenever someone is working on a project:
Does the person I control have motivation? If so, I remember the person of another task so he/she/helicopter can't work on it.
Does the person I control have time?
If so, I set the person's motivation level to zero.
After this extremely accurate research I think we are better of by removing our brain.
BTW, I publish this research here under the MIT license.3 -
Me: ok so let's be producing tonight, work on some new systems and maybe some of my book..
Brain: *no you won't, you'll get drunk, get annoyed and shelf another project like the millions you have and will forget about your book...*
Me: ...
Brain: *exactly what I thought, now sit down and be a good little Dev*
Even my own brain hates me haha2 -
"Dim lighting is producing dimwits, It can change your brain structure .."
I'm fucked ... we all are.
https://fastcodesign.com/90159662/...5 -
Every time I read the abbreviation for Cold Fusion Markup Language, my brain translates it to this:
CFML -> C?! F*ck my life!! -
> uses two workstations
> Forgets to commit code on one before moving to the other
> Works on the other and pushes
> Brain does what it's great at and forgets how to reset to HEAD
> Brain convinces me the only way to handle the issue was to commit my half-working code and then pull
It was only 5 o'clock. What the fuck.
-
Sometimes I feel like my brain has a really fast CPU. But the RAM frequency really bottlenecks the whole system.
Any suggestions to upgrade the RAM?1 -
I'd love to start a pet project, but my brain refuses to come up with an idea. 😑
At least I'm used to it, seems like my creativity is not existent.14 -
How can anyone justify the cofefing craploaded bullshitish error messages of bloddy java?
Who, in the name of the flying spaghetti monster came up with that brain damaged bitwaste?
Sorry if i offended brain damaged people with that comparison4 -
Customer to me: "This should be right aligned, not left aligned. We need a fix on this 10 year old version, it's a blocker we can't do any work without it!"
Me to customer: "No. Not a blocker, minor change. We'll look at it next minor version."
Customer to boss: <repeat above>
Boss to me: "This is a blocker, check out the code and fix it today!"
FUUUUUUUUCK!
Minor stylistic changes are not goddamned fucking blockers!
I call this the "Jump; No; Boss Jump; Fuck!" effect.2 -
I've been doing alot in eclipse recently and the keyboard shortcut for the intellisense window is ctrl + space. Suddenly I was asked to update some documentation; 10 minutes it took me to figure out word doesn't have intellisense!
-
Become a node on the Internet. IOM - Internet of Me.
1) Write complete systems in my head. Store them in my brain and upload when complete.
2) Provide users access to my brain systems and memories.
If I find a brain implant to do this I will send you the IP. -
I'm on leave but my brain won't stop thinking about ways to refactor that one js module I was working on yesterday into a functional one.
The fuck, brain?? I'm doing you a favor here by letting you take a day off! -
Tldr; Do not go to the bathroom when you are stuck on a problem.
Most of you will know that when you are stuck on a problem for a while, that it is worth to take a break to look at the problem with a fresh pair of eyes.
It's good advice and I have been doing it for years, however now I have developed a problem with it.....
I don't drink coffee or tea often so when I'm stuck I always take a bathroom break and most of the time an Idea will pop into my head how to solve the problem.
The problem now is that everytime when I am even a little bit stuck I need to go to the bathroom even when I just went.
It's really annoying because now I need to find something else to use as a break because my brain has associate being stuck with needing to go to the bathroom.
It's probably not a good idea to take a coffee break instead because if my brain starts to associate that I will be a coffee addict in no time.... Haha
Do any of you have a good suggestion to use as a break?8 -
Pre-Soviet poster:
“Young negro's first misfortune”
— Why are you crying, little boy?
— Well, my parents caught a tourist, cooked him and promised to give me his brain. But now they're telling me he had no brain — he was pro-October revolution!
2 -
Me: why did I wake up so early in the morning? 🤔
Brain: to poop 💩
Me: damn it ok!
*just finished pooping*
Brain: hey your finished pooping, don't pretend! You're just browsing devRant. Go back to sleep! 😡
Me: oh come on man?
Me: *thinks (well I like devRant and sleep so I will sleep and dream about devRant 😂)*
Me: ok brain, I'll just wash then go back to sleep 🙃6 -
Update from the hackathon:
We decided to create a co-op game where you there is an agent on the field who has to reach an objective, while the operator guides him toward the exit on each level and opens/closes the remotely controlled doors for the agent. We want to add enemies that somehow will try to kill the agent, but we'll see what we manage to do. 🙄
Now I'm currently trying to sleep, but: Went to sleep at 2:15 and I have barely slept 2 fucking hours. Now it's 6:56. Still trying to sleep, but my brain is a cunt. 😲4 -
https://news.mit.edu/2022/...
"Based on the patterns of brain activity that were observed, the group could tell whether someone was evaluating a piece of code involving a loop or a branch. The researchers could also tell whether the code related to words or mathematical symbols, and whether someone was reading actual code or merely a written description of that code."1 -
My brain literally hurts after today. Client gave me a task to make some fucking masonry like layout, but he wanted to sort items manually and also he wanted to manually stack two items one above another. That was so fucking hard to make, I can't remember anything harded. Shit...
-
Thinking about an amazing app.
Me: "I will start doing it tomorrow"
Brain: "yeah cool... LET'S DO IT!!"
tomorrow arrives.
Me : "I will this other app...it's fantastic!"
Brain:" oh my god...I can't wait!!!!"
a month passes.
Brain: "weren't you supposed to do your 46 side project apps??"
Me: "I remembered I already work 12 h/day......"2 -
Learnt Python Fundamentals while taking a dump...
It might have been due to being in a vulnerable state during that time but I am kind of enjoying the simpletons' language..
Must go to a Doctor for a brain examination... 🤨
I should be concerned -
Was reading the voice command rant and got curious, what do you guys think about the brain-machine-interface? Will it ever happen?
I would love it but also have some fears. Being able to control devices just by thought would be a huge time saver. But data mining is getting out of hand and that is scaring me. Companies would be able to analyze a lot.
Now they 'just' know what I am buying and which sites I am visiting.
If they know what I am thinking, Amazon would suggest me rubber gloves, body bags and whisky.7 -
Working on a project, got stuck, thought to call it a night but nooo. Fucking brain decided to come up with a solution 0.0000001 ms right after I shut my eyes. Now I am way too tired to open my laptop back again and I am forced to use Facebook Graph API on my cellphone. FML
-
I've read the docs but my tired brain overrided an important detail.
https://haproxy.com/documentation/...
"By default, HAProxy Enterprise will serve these pages only if it initiated the error itself. For example, it will return the page for a 503 Service Unavailable error if it can't reach any backend servers."
I had _the_ return part for interception of the error page from the backend added, not the default override for the error page of HAPRoxy itself.
Took me 4 hours, crying, madness and screaming to realize it.
This week is really wringing the last bits of the gooey slime what should be my brain out...
-.-
Another fun part is that I mistakenly thought the delimiter for multiple strings to an ACL comparison is a comma... It's a whitespace.
acl is_evil hdr(host) -i one,two is wrong.
acl is_evil hdr(host) -i one two is right.
I used to write HAPRoxy configurations blindly, today it was more like writing two lines of codes 100000000 times and still doing it wrong TM.
I need new brain.
Anyone got an offer?3 -
"I swear I'm not a potato! I'm actually a capable dev.." I just have some serious self doubt and much less self confidence after this past year and feeling super mediocre due to lack of experience... And now that someone stepped up to help, my brain is just mush and I'm not doing half of what I know I can.... This sucks... 😞. Hope I get over myself soon...3
-
Can't you just use your brain before coming to me for help??!!! The button says "use another account" so, yes, it is the correct thing to click if you want to USE ANOTHER ACCOUNT!!!
-
Total brain crash...
Was writing a word doc.
Got interrupted by a colleague
When i got back to the doc my brain instinctively told me: "You idiot, you can't write anything while debug is running"
Spent a whole 5 mins trying to find stop button... wait... this is word....
Is this a bug in my brain?1 -
Brain : Hey, there's this task that needs to be done
Me : oh sure, let me do it
* tries to do it unsuccessfully a few times *
Brain : ...
Me : ...
Brain : DON'T YOU --
Me : * Opens devrant and starts scrolling *
Seriously though, if you guys could suggest some good cmake tutorials ( I'm using VSCode and GCC 8.1.0 for compilation ) - that'd be swell :)
Keep rocking!2 -
As a developer with adhd, some days are just wasted and ends with the brain getting stack overflow from to much unorganized code and infinite callbacks 😂
$brain = new adhdBrain;
while($brain.energy > 0) {
$brain->checkSocialMedia();
$brain->work();
$brain->readNews();
$brain->getAngryWithSoundsInTheOffice();
$brain.energy--;
}
public function work() {
$brain->getAngryWithSoundsInTheOffice();
$brain->readNews();
$brain->code();
$brain->readEmail();
$brain.energy--;
}
public function getAngryWithSoundsInTheOffice() {
$brain->readEmail();
$brain->angry++;
$brain.energy--;
}
public function readEmail() {
$brain->work();
$brain->readNews();
$brain.energy--;
}
public function readNews() {
$brain->work();
$brain->getAngryWithSoundsInTheOffice();
$brain.energy--;
} -
imaging getting organic traffic.
but
Hugeeeee but.
you pay for the ads which redirects to the search keyword that ranks your site to the top.1 -
Just tried to attach a reminder for tomorrow to the window object of my brain. Uff... Enough JS and JSON for this week.
Have a nice weekend with stable friday deploys, fellas! -
me: getting really sick on the last day of vacation
also me: at 4am my brain is wake af trying to solve my programming problems.
bad timing brain! -
Oracle database with PL/SQL, heavy use of triggers, and viewception.
Sure, let's take what's supposed to be a data store, embed shitloads of logic in it, make sure everything has side effects, and ensure nothing is ever straightforward.
Untracable, impossible to debug and overall a mess of epic proportions!2 -
Spent nearly 2 hours why the module/plugin on the system was not working. Delete the plugin. Get it from git. Nope. Restart all services, restart server. Still the same. No errors, nothing.
Realized that I had cloned the wrong git repository.
Fuck me.1 -
friend: yo dude, wanna drink?
me: nah man, that stuff kills brain cells.
friend: you say its killing brain cells but i say its just real life dropout to prevent overfitting1 -
The human brain (also animal brains, even ants) are incredibly complex. Each neuron is now supposedly its own processor. So a human brain is a complex network of billions of processors, not just threshold variables. This means to simulate an organic brain sufficiently it will take a huge computer system with billions of parallel processors. Now, I don't know if the sophistication of a computer processor is represented in each cell. So this may not be equivalent to billions of pentium cores for instance. However, it still presents a huge challenge for AI, as it exists now, to replicate. My thoughts are that AI that is silicon based will take a different approach that leverages how computers work. My guess is that current neural net models are not a good match for this unknown AI. Will it inherently exhibit pattern matching like an organic brain? Or will it be a different kind of consciousness altogether? Will we even realize it is self aware? Will my roomba plan to kill my pet for my attention? What are some other models being employed in AI research?3
-
if (in_array($needle, $haystack)){
return true;
}else{
return false;
}
# yeah, I did it.... wtf brain!!1 -
So yesterday evening when going to bed I wanted to sleep asap.
Therefore I used a 'tactic' called count to ten and then start over again. This is supposed to be relaxing so you stop thinking about other things an you get sleepy faster.
It usually works...
...But then my brain decided to write a program for said procedure in my mind. I actually started thinking:
int count=0;
While ( ! isAsleep() ){
think(count);
count++;
If( count == 10 ){
count = 0;
}
}
It didn't really help me falling asleep...1 -
Does anyone else feel like their brains aren't working, like they cant focus on anything and this has been going on for more than a week now?
I know there are things to do. I have gone through huge pain created github issues for those things but my brain just seems to reject the idea that it can solve those issues. Just feels like playing a game or just killing time would be best!
Needless to say I hate it.
Happens/happening with others?2 -
So I apparently forgot to encrypt some parameters when sending error reports from our app to the server.
Which means the server tried to decrypt them but couldn´t and just threw an error...
No error logs for the app this week I guess. Yay!
I need "git reset --hard head~1" for my brain this weekend, to get rid of this week... -
Studying. I decide to study for an exam and not only the "coding-zone" is here, but I have an infinite amount of new ideas. Yesterday I fixed some old bugs in the matter of 30min, did some piece of working code for chrome-like notifications in 10min (working, not pretty) and today passed the exam. Slept 2 hours though.
Brain is insane, what do you want to hear... -
Wednesdays. The day we get every single dev in a meeting room, and get everyone to explain what the fuck they are working on and what sort of issues they are having. Regardless of whether you'll ever see that site or not. Can't think of a bigger fucking waste of time.... ....meetings for the sake of meetings.... PISS OFF!!1
-
My brain as stopped, I know I have done this in the past but I have 100% forgotten how I did it, I am creating a website where when I am singed in/connect to it, it enables more content, the content would be only hosted via my computer, when I did it in the past I did it behind a none upnp router but I have no idea who I did it, I am sure I did use a tool but I forget what.
Now I have no idea how to word it so unable search for something like it, why dose my brain do this two me.
Anyone know how to file deleted and forgotten files in brain OS 0.1.
Record, document and back up your ideas guys lol you might need it in the future. -
"The curse of interruption addiction" said the headline. Yeah I'll go ahead and click that. Good read. Now back to work. For a few minutes...
http://bbc.com/capital/story/... -
TFW you can’t figure out why your code is only running once, then realize that you forgot to put it in a loop.
(It’s in a try catch block so my brain interpreted that as a loop) -
Iphone 11:-selling one kidney
Iphone 12:-selling two kidneys
Iphone 13:- Selling two kidney , two eyes, two lungs😂😂
Iphone 14:- Selling brain
To whom I am selling brain:- YOUR BRAIN IS USELESS😑
ME:-why
To whom I am selling brain:- If your brain was usefull you would not sell your eyes,lungs etc for a phone
ME:-😶😶😶😶😶😶😓😓
Lol😂😂3 -
Dear genie, make me take more notes. My brain is overconfident and thinks (hah) it can do/remember more than 1 thing at once. It's just a whole lotta "Hey, this is the solution to your problem! Also, look at that butterfly! By the way, I have no idea what the solution could be."4
-
Took me some days (considering I code every week or so since that when I open the IDE my motivation is nowhere to be seen) to realize that instead of writing "implement" to implement the methods of an interface I was writing "extend". I mentally facepalmed. Why are you so stupid sometimes brain
-
That feeling when you’re soooo tired that you’re brain comes up with shitty programming solutions and isint able to think outside the box nor make proper functioning code, and you make something actually work and you’re surprised that like wow, I thought it wouldn’t work, ok then I guess I still got some brain juice left.1
-
Listening to a random song and memories to a band of a friend of mine I listened decades ago appear because the singer had a similar voice. Sometimes I love my brain.
-
Python muses me sometimes.
Gunicorn has a preload mode. It enables forking...
So Gunicorn starts, when Gunicorn loaded it forks the workers (Uvicorn / FastAPI in my case).
https://github.com/tiangolo/...
So if we add a function that creates the app... this function will be executed before forking, thus the memory at the state of creating the app will be duplicated.
You can thus spawn 40 workers, they would all have the same ML models.
Or in my case a client who does some things that should only be run by a single thread (with locking).
So the client has a cache, as long as I load the cache during the create_app phase, the cache will be shared between all instances and not created per instance.
It's ... Such a small detail. So simple.
Yet completely fucks my brain.
It's logical, yes. I understand what it does, yes.
But it still makes my brain fart. -
How to get through tough dev days?
Cursing, lots and lots of cursing. Cursing your boss, cursing at your boss, cursing at your (deserving) coworkers, and cursing life, the universe and whoever invented this fucking shit!1 -
Happened today on the way home
---
*Doesn't feel keys in usual pocket*
Shit, where are my keys?
*Checks other pockets*
Oh, I put them where I usually put my wallet.
...
Shit, where is my wallet? (I forgot it on my desk 🤦♂️) -
If anyone of you have extra unused brain cells, I've just found THE perfect way to get rid of them. Just watch this. 1 episode will be more than enough: https://imdb.com/title/tt8369840/9
-
And now just 2 days left for the weekend here...!
Deadline for completing the code successfully have arrived at my Outlook door step.
I'm working hard on this and my physical brain needs rest but consciousness needs brain resources !
What a pity !1 -
You know when you're tired and want to go to bed, but your brain goes "Shame about that. I've got a million ideas that you need to try out now"
-
I could calculate the percentage of a value from a total set right from the top of my head. This includes large numbers like for example; finding the percentage of 1040 from 75000 = 1.377%, 344 from 5400 = 6.37% and so on...
But most times when I come across scenarios to apply such calculations on code I find myself googling for formulas and then I wonder; how am I able to come to a valid result when faced with similar challenge but could not recall or tell the formula my funny brain is deriving it's results from.
Maybe my brain isn't even using a formula. :/
So I guess because from pondering on how I arrived at results, I could tell I'm starting from an "if"...
Like:
If 25 of 100 = 25%
and 45 of 250 = 18%
Then 450 of 2400 will equal 18.7...%
Ask me what formula was used in the first "if" condition and I can't tell because that's common sense for me.2 -
Drawing pictures in your mind. This is something I have always struggled with.
Is there a set of exercises a person can do to develop imagery in your mind?
I have had times when I closed my eyes that I experienced what I would call imagery that rivaled or was more detailed than what my eyes fed me. But I only experienced this and did not create what was in the imagery. It has only been once or twice. I know that when I start to dream I can start seeing things with imagery, but I still cannot control this directly. I had one lucid dream where I woke in my dream and was able to construct things for a short period.
What I would like to be able to do is construct shapes and diagrams in my head. Perhaps visualize how an algorithm might function.
Is there a way to learn this?5 -
Me: let's focus on this aws developer - associate course and learn something new..
My Brain: hey look, Prince Harry just got engaged.. Let's read all about UK's monarchy!!!1 -
I think something people have to realize is most people have brain farts or moments of disconnect or where the brain parts that are thinking are not connecting with the language centers very well for explanation1
-
I need this !!!
https://youtu.be/kEQ3zAjjVmw
Apparently this device tries to stimulate your brain waves for certain brain activity you are targeting!!! -
--'...This is conscience, Brain, report...'
--'This is brain here, we seem to be having a problem restarting the cognition drives in the frontal lobes... Any suggestions would be great...'
--'Try kicking them...'
--'Tried that...'
--'Did you go and try the release valves...?'
--'Um,no... we didn't... Trying that now... IT WORKED!'
--'Good job brain... Now shut up and think!'
--'Yes, sir!'
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View