today i was very sleep deprived and i had an anxiety episode at work. that was the first time my coworkers saw me like that. they took me to a cafe, got me a pastry and kept chatting about random stuff while i calmed down. i felt vulnerable and ashamed for not keeping it together, but it was one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for me.

Who else is sleep deprived?

I THOUGHT I JUST DAMAGED MY PHONE SCREEN LIKE AN IDIOT.

I haven't slept for 3 days, so I'm kind of out of it.

I was using my phone for a few hours non-stop, because if my mom sees me on my laptop she might take it away lol.

I had to edit my manuscript, so I didn't put my phome down, and it's really hot in my house for some reason even though it's cold outside (63°f).

So my phone overheated, and being the sleep deprived idiot I was, I realized how squishy it felt when I kept pressing my screen down. For some reason it felt good to push on it.

I know, I'm stupid. I kept pressing down until I snapped out of the trance, and realized what I was doing, so I stopped. Then I saw these distinct patches on my screen. Like when there's water in your phone, and you see these roundish splotches. Also, I couldn't move the screen.

I panicked because I thought I ruined the screen, so I turned it off. I kept it face down on my table, and read a book for an hour.

When I turned it back on, the patches were gone. I guess they were present because my phone overheated or something.

Still, that was kind of scary. I thought I ruined it.

Just found out my neighbour is a sleep deprived webdeveloper as well :)

Ok, it’s been a loooong fucking day.

28 hours later from starting work yesterday, preparing for a giant deployment over multiple systems, Doing deployments overnight... on a Friday night of all days and finally, finally seeing everything working is just a beautiful thing.

Good night devRant!

Spent the whole night stressing over a bug I couldn't fix, only to realise the next morning I had actually solved it the previous night. I'm so sleep deprived I actually forgot that I solved it.

Late in the afternoon right before closing time I wandered into a lunch-having nice little place. There was noone and my sleep-deprived self ordered an espresso. The ~25yrs old barista was kind and smiling and while I was adding some milk to my coffee she suddenly asked:

'Are you an IT guy?'

In shock I said: 'Okay, yes, I do wear glasses and drink coffe, but how did you know?'

'I didn't, but... my printer isn't working at home, can you tell me why?'

At this point I bursted out in laughter and realized that to most people I am a printer fixer. We all are, aren't we?

It's way past midnight, I just want to sleep aaaaaand my brain is thinking of a very interesting application to write..

A pause function for my brain would be fucking amazeballs :/

A few weeks ago when I was sleep deprived I found a way to use devRant in multi window view and now I don't know how I did that anymore. :c

Today is Friday. People are generally happy on Friday because it's the weekend.

I have a production upgrade tonight, which potentially can go through the weekend.

This is my second production upgrade support in a week. I'm sleep deprived and getting disinterested and seemingly in the want for a holiday.

I like devRant because most people are too sleep deprived / burnt out to start flame wars

I need to fuckinb slepe
5 day sleep deprived sprints don't mix well with assembly

Hey everyone in all seriousness I am gonna be out of the dev field now - hopefully forever. I’m back in school now and hopefully will become employed in emergency response. Before dev, I have had jobs where I could directly help people with their troubles and I could reduce a lot of chaos. I really enjoyed it and I want to kind of steer my life back towards that. I find that while I was an employed dev, I felt like I was contributing a lot towards corporate greed, this wealth gap problem, and a bunch of other stuff. It all felt morally wrong (to me - not judging here). I also felt the worse I have ever felt in a job - constantly burned out, depressed, lonely, sleep deprived, and almost even ashamed of myself of how I constructed my life thus far. I had some good times meeting some cool ass people in some cool ass places tho.

Now, even though I’m still sleep deprived and EXTREMELY poor, I’m very happy now. I am excited to start this thing I’m more passionate about. It feels good to not feel my head hurt every day from trying to fix shit that will always break anyways. I feel so relieved to be away from the meaningless turbulence of it all. Just wanted to share my lil success here!!

Pulled an all-nighter
Was too busy ans haven't had any time to eat anything next whole day.
35.5 hour sleep deprived, cameback home with takeouts

Let's pull the repo before i start eating.
Open the laptop and connect the charger while laying on bed.
*fell asleep and woke up 9 hours with laptop still running*

The worst part is that the problem i was trying to solve is still there.

Difficult tasks, dog is sick, S.O. suffering from depression, sleep deprived, and now I accidentally type "rm -r / ./" instead of "rm -r ./" on the production server. Whyyyyy

Was in a meeting with the execs and the boss singles me out and asks me where is this functionality at. I told him the dev working on it will have it ready today. He goes no no no this needs to happen now. I am speechless have no idea how to tell him this employees are working very hard and is doing the very best with the limited time we had. I personally was up at midnight coding to deliver on time. That was the start of my bad day ... crap just pilled on :/

Working on projects when you're sleep deprived and your hair is falling out is food for nightmares!
Jesus, why am I shedding hair? I'm afraid to look at my scalp and see bald spots.

It's official. After almost three weeks off and hardly any sleep, I've forgotten how to do my job. This could be a problem.

That feeling you get when you write code so complicated, that a few weeks later, even with tutorial-level documentation, you don't know whats going on, so you just rewrite from scratch.

Yeah that just happened to me.

No time for deep work to re-grok what the fuck I was working toward, so I just rewrote the core of it to relearn the entire process.

Had comments, documentation, step-by-steps. Still the ability to understand and reason about it noped-the-fuck-out of the building apparently.

Might have had something to do with zero sleep three days in a row and too much red bull.

Sleep-deprived me operates on a whole different plane of existence.

I think the sleep deprived me is finally cracking under the weight of incompetent assholes.

We just launched a major project in some weird cocktail of Agile slapped with MVP and release to the wild in a waterfall, but it was premature, premature in the sense QA hasn't even finished their side of things, but because some fuck with with "manager" in their title decided they have burnt through the budget with incompetence and scrapped an entire element of the project and outsourced just so they could make a shittier version that doesn't even fucking work.

How hard do you want to fail before you will start listening to the people that now have to work around the fucking clock to clean up this horse shit of a mess.

I'm literally arguing over field mapping with multiple 3rd parties, when the fucking requirements state WTF this is suppose to look like. All because they didn't validate or test their own shit.

Why is EVERY FUCKING cock head in this industry a waste of space and cash! Is it really to much to ask for 1 fucking project to fucking go live that actually fucking works where I don't need to work 2 weeks straight (including weekends) after going live just to be sure that what shit does hit the fan isn't going to create a SEV 1 issue...

Sorry, I'm pissed at the incompetence of others I need to deal with on a daily basis. It's not like this field is insanely hard. A little attention to detail and self validation, verification goes a long way. But clearly that's a rarity.

Once this shit is stable and actually works, I'll be pulling out the mop to clean up half this shit just so it actually works.

Oof, I'm getting to old for this bullshit.

I am mostly sleep deprived.. loves to spend time on laptop more than with my family. Prefers coding over cooking. Would love to have partner who relates to this field, so he can be partner in my craziness. Coding has alot impact on my life. Infact it is my life and passion ❤

When you are sleep deprived but still can't sleep because your brain is proposing solutions to THAT problem.

Seeing some jokes about AI and deterministic if/else sort of logic... in a really sleep deprived state I start to wonder - if we are able to make AI that REALLY begins to pass as intelligent / self aware / sentient and imitates us.... and it spawns from deterministic lower level logic that has just grown from an uncontrollably large amount of inputs and complications... will we just end up convincing ourselves that we don't actually have free will either? Maybe we just have an amazing natural data lake. :-/

Oh man, its been forever since I've had an actual rant.

so my work ethic is to the point where it's all last minute. My eduction is all last minute. Personal problem, and don't know how to fix that. but it's just getting out of hand.

tbh, I'm at the point of considering dropping uni like this is no joke. maybe transfer to a cheaper because the financials are no good either.

I also need a new job because the place I'm at is no good. here a few things about it:
1) Its Industrial, not really tech related
2) the dudes expect ME to GO TO THEM and ask for help. Not how I roll
3) not the best atmosphere -- I don't really like the 4 total employees, including myself
4) nearly minimum wage

the pros?
1) I learn about my car
2) I can use the shop to fix my car
3) Free stuff (for example, a projector and lunch everyday
4) We're getting a server (soon?)
5) I buy computers for them, they pay me

But seriously, my grades in school are slipping (nowhere dangerous yet) and I am too stressed. At least I'll be getting in more dev work

Moreover, I want to get in some actual learning with Swift, but I can never manage to make time. Plus, games are a thing that I do, also family and friends, also religion is a thing, also work and school, also sleep. No time? Me neither.

Like the organization of this rant? Me too.

MEETINGS
Daily stand up
Weekly status
Fortnightly update
Monthly planning

Life would be so much simpler without meetings. Just chat, why fuss over "meeting"?

As it is most of the things don't go as per what's planned in the monthly planning meeting.

Neither is there much of an update in the fortnightly update meeting. Only update is what we planned, isn't the right direction.

This will obviously screw up the weekly status. Screwed up planning is dishevelled implementation.

Daily stand up is just very sleep deprived developers, who don't wanna talk.

Make it my time's worth; say no more meetings.

Procrastinates, wastes time not working; hates himself

Works on a regular schedule, putting in effort and feeling sleep deprived;
Hates himself even more.

Inner self hatred realises something.

Who said my self-loathing was bad for me???

I don't wanna work 😭. My company is making me work like a donkey. I have to commute for a total of 4 hours (to and fro). I get hella tired when i reach home. I don't have any energy or life. I feel lifeless and everything makes me irritated. They are paying me $5300 in a year( i am from india) with a bond. It just seems like they are exploiting me. 😭 I can concentrate on preparing for DSA and make projects in order to switch my job. I just can't keep working, working and working at the same place with the same people inside the same cubicle. I feel so fucking irritated, lifeless and sleep deprived. They are recruiting freshers and paying more salary to them who doesn't even know how to code! And here i have been working straight for 1 year(including internship) with very good feedbacks from everyone. When i asked if i could get wfh permanently, manager said no but at the same time gave permanent wfh to the other team member having much greater experience. I feel so so sad. I finish all my work on time no matter where i am and always gets good feedback. 😭

So this happened at a government organised 24 hour Hackathon. We had to store documents uploaded from the front end. Now we’ve been trying for a very log time but everything failed (yeah we had a crappy front end guy). Then all hell broke loose when the our team leader in hi sleep deprived state deleted our git repository while I wondered why my pushes were throwing a 404. When hell felt near we came up with the solution to encode the documents in base64 and store it in the database since we only had to show a demo😂.
Sadly enough, WE LOST. Although in retrospect it comes as no surprise.

Two kinds of people.
People who do ls -la or ls -al

Done it once or twice when finishing up a feature for a presentation/delivery the next day.

I'm leaning on the side of Not Worth It because I'd rather not be sleep deprived and dumb in brainy brain when interacting with the client and demoing my other stuff.

I guess it's usually when my perfectionism flares up that I'm likely to do stuff like that.

Will consider an all-nighter if it's reeeally necessary but there's few scenarios I can imagine where that is warranted. Maybe when working on a very serious security flaw or something of that nature. Most stuff can wait a couple of days...

Edit: goddamn I guess I committed the sin of not really answering the question. There's no story here. Boooo. Permission to hate myself, captain?

Remember: never email the client when sleep deprived and in a rush.

oh god. caffeine just isnt enough anymore. i might consider sniffing strips

When I'm trying to sleep, I get such a surge of motivation that makes think I'm such an amazing programmer and that I can build anything. When I wake up and try to get shit done, I make 476 errors in a simple "Hello world" program. 😑

When you’re so sleep deprived from days with no sleep and you’re writing only a few lines every 30 minutes after overlooking linters and fixing syntax errors, but you need to get the work done **lid-pop**… Hate it but love it..

I am either so fed up with work or I am sleep deprived that I actually went to work with my t-shirt inside out, and only noticed it when I looked at myself in the mirror.

Pretty sure I'm fed up with work.

Yay !! Today's Friday.. two fully caffeinated, sleep deprived days ahead !
God ! I love the chills !

ah yes just another day of fighting the same perceived non functioning of pytorch.. tracing through the tensors per layer to see if anything is changing at all.. listenig to the same dipshit talking about how its getting cold out there but hey it feels good.

sitting in the same place, half sleep deprived in a state of utter destitution waiting for the same dirty fucks to steal all my things because they want to keep me quiet about what they've been doing for as far back as I can now remember wondering when life will continue because lets face it, life should continue, and these people willfully fucking up my country now for nigh a century isn't my goddamn fault !

but hey, they think they got away with murder, and its more like suicide as they get used up when young and then reach older age and they're still walking the same loop and i'm being dragged along with them as they started assigning more zombies to my home area gradually who also brainlessly walk around doing the same things thinking it somehow benefits them.

So my boss offers a job which is night shift and my pay will be slightly increased too. But I would be sleep deprived then :(

The ultimate rage-fueled, caffeine-deprived, sleep-deprived, absolutely done-with-this-shit PR review rant.
You know what? I’m done. I’m DONE. I submit a PR, I triple-check it, I run all the tests, I follow the damn coding standards. I hit submit thinking, ‘Ah yes, this is a good piece of code, I did well.’ And then? THEN??!

The floodgates of hell open.
"Hey, can you make this function name more descriptive? BRO IT’S CALLED getUserData(), WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT? retrieveUserDataFromTheDepthsOfTheDatabaseAndFormatItAccordingToTheSacredGuidelinesOfOurAncestors()?!Fuck grammarly #$%&*

Or the classic:
‘Hmm, this line could be optimized.’ OH REALLY, COULD IT? Could it really? Would shaving off 0.000001ms on a non-critical function really revolutionize our application? WILL IT SAVE THE WORLD? WILL IT END WORLD HUNGER?! NO? THEN LEAVE ME ALONE!

And of course, there’s always one smartass who wants to flex their ‘knowledge’ with a random suggestion:FUCK YOU GRAMMARLY &*(_+‘Have you considered rewriting this in Rust for better memory safety? SIR. THIS IS A FRONTEND BUTTON HANDLER. TAKE YOUR RUST AND GO.

THEN ohhhh THEN the moment you fix everything, push your changes, AND THEN the same reviewer who just tormented you for three hours goes, "LGTM 👍". THAT'S IT? THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY AFTER MAKING ME REWRITE HALF MY CODE??

AND THEN, THE FINAL BOSS MOVE:
‘Can you squash your commits?’
SQUASH??? SQUASH?!?! BRO, I’M ABOUT TO SQUASH MY LAPTOP ON YOUR BALD STINKY HEAD.

At this point, I am convinced PR reviews exist purely for torture. They are not about improving the code. They are a psychological experiment to see how long it takes before a developer completely loses their mind and starts a new life as a goat farmer.

I swear, next PR, I’m just merging it straight into COMPANY'S ASS main and letting fate decide.

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