It saved me from suicide.

You have to understand first that things in India work differently. Academics are not personal, but a social business. Academic competition in India is very high and not in a good way, or for the good reasons.

As a teenager was sent off from my home to the other side of the country. I didn't like it. My studies suffered, and I failed my exams. Came back home and faced months of emotional abuse (guilt trips, scornful comments, plain insults) from my parents, neighbours and relatives. Indian society is just built that way. They didn't know they were damaging my psyche, or they were too angry to care. Lots of other shit (lost friends, lost love) happened at roughly the same time period and everything started to fall like dominos.

I fell into severe depression. Lost appetite, lost sleep. Nothing mattered anymore. There were mornings when I would wake up and not get up from my bed for hours, and not even move a finger. Self-hate became the motto of the day. I became violent and anti-social. I would either be angry or trying not to break down and give up all the time. Many a night, I considered suicide. I would end up googling for easy ways out to take.

But what gave me a way out of the pains of my reality was programming. It helped my keep my head, figuratively and literally. It kept my mind distracted and gave me a sense of purpose. I would shut myself in, plug in my headphones, shut the world out and just experiment.

I am not saying that I am the best at what I do, but those sleepless and troubled nights, and many other similar nights over the years have given me a definite edge over my colleagues.

Even today, when everything is falling to pieces, I know I have something to fall back on. I still get episodes of depression every now and then, but I know I can always pick up a new project and distract myself. It probably isn't healthy, but eh...

I am alive. I code. I kick ass. My colleagues respect and value my opinion. I love my job.

Computer does what I tell it to do (mostly :p) and I feel good. Because for that small moment, I am in control of everything. For that infinitesimally small moment of my average, boring, and somewhat painful life, I am God.

The hardest part of being a programmer wasn't the education, the self-teaching, the sleepless nights or the hours of agony trying to fix a bug that would break a program I'd spend weeks working on.

It's the realization that my family, friends, coworkers...nobody understands at all what I do. They don't know of my failures or my triumphs. I can't talk about it with them and it's becoming more apparent to them that it's taking up more of my life. And in a way it feels like a part of myself has just become, well, alien.

Best way I can describe it is, it's like the "Tears in the Rain" scene from Blade Runner.

I'm stuck, I think. I know I've been shutting out people from my life more and more as I don't want to "deal" with people's issues, but I don't think it's been good. I'm can verify that I'm depressed beyond my normal levels.

It's time for me to make an appointment with a therapist.

Remember that you are loved here, and appreciated. Don't let anyone tell you different.

Stay strong.

Second semester

Java - OOP Course

We had to write a game, an arkanoid clone

Neat shit

And a fun course, mad respect to the Prof.

BUT

Most students, including me had this ONE bug where the ball would randomly go out of the wall boundaries for no clear reason.

A month passed, sleepless nights, no traces.

Two months later. Same shit. Grades going down (HW grades) because it became more and more common, yet impossible to track down.

3 months later, we had to submit the HW for the last time which included features like custom level sets, custom blocks and custom layouts.

So before we submit the game for review, they had pre-defined level sets that we had to include for testing sake.

I loaded that.

The bug is back.

But

REPRODUCIBLE.

OMG.

So I started setting up breakpoints.

And guess what the issue was.

FLOATING FUCKING POINT NUMBERS

(Basically the calculations were not as expected)

Changing to Ints did it's job and the bug was officially terminated.

Most satisfying night yet.

Always check your float number calculations as it's never always what you expect.

Lesson learned, use Ints whenever possible.

> project nearing deadline [✔]
> an IDE that hangs itself [✔]
> awkward status meetings that turns into pointless discussion [✔]
> confusing requirements [✔]
> getting addicted to tea [✔]
> losing track of time [✔]
> sleepless nights [✔]
> overgrown hair and beard [✔]
> did I shower today ? [✔]
> no srsly did I ? [✔]
> I don't know where am going with this [✔]
> I should probably get some sleep [?!]

Why do people (Some devs too...) bloody hell think that devs have Hard time fixing the Semi Colon issue, we have a lot of other issues to figure out, like the Structure of Data, Code Fragmentation, API Creation, Invalid Data Handling, Injection Prevention. But no, since we are developers, we are having sleepless nights because of one fucking semicolon? FUCKING NO, it hardly takes 30 seconds to figure out that there is a missing semi-colon. Really People, stop the ; thing!

Happens all the time. Being a programmer is a lifestyle. A sleepless one.

Haven’t been on here for ages, but I felt like I needed to post this:

Warning:
This is long, and it might make you cry.

Backstory:
A couple of months back I worked for a completely clueless dude who had somehow landed a contract for a new website for a huge company. After a while he realised that he was incapable of completing the assignment. He then hired me as a subcontractor and I deleted literally everything he had done and started from scratch. He had over promised and under explained what needed to be done to me. It took many sleepless nights to get this finished with all the amendments and I had to double my pricing because he kept changing the brief.

Even after doubling my prices I still put in way too many hours of work. At one point I had enough and just ghosted the guy as I had done what he asked, and when he submitted it to them they wanted changes. He couldn’t make the changes, so I had to. He wouldn’t pay me extra though. I decided it wasn’t worth my time.

A couple of days ago I heard from him again. He had found another subcontractor to finish the changes. He still needed a few things though, so he promised me that I would get paid after fixing those things. I looked at the few things he had listed in our KANBAN and thought it was a few easy tasks.. until I opened the project..

I had my computer set up to sync with his server because he wanted everything done live and in production. So I naturally thought I would just “sync down” everything that the other subcontractor had done.

Here is where the magic started to happen.. I started the sync and went to grab a glass of water, and it was still running when I came back. I looked at the log and saw a bunch of “node_module” files syncing - around 900 folders. Funny thing is; neither the site nor server has anything to do with node..

I disregarded this and downloaded the files in a more manual fashion to a new folder. Interestingly I could see that my SCSS folders had not been touched since I stopped working on the project.. interesting, I thought to myself..

Turns out, the other subcontractor had taken my rendered and minimised CSS file, prettified it and worked from there. This meant that the around ~1500 lines of SCSS neatly organised in around 20 files was suddenly turned into a monster of a single CSS file of no less than 17300 lines.

I tried to explain to the guy that the other subcontractor had fucked up, but he said that I should be able to fix it since I was the one that made it initially. I haven’t replied. My life is too short for this.

I just hate how non-developers can easily conclude that we are drug addicts. Just because we talk to ourselves while coding or always seem off/cranky because of the countless sleepless nights. I mean like, please be a bit more considerate. It may seem like it isn't a big deal since it isn't true anyways but it clearly shows that they can't understand our situation.

Try being in the shoes of the misunderstood for a change. You won't like the feeling since all you ever wanted to do was good.

Since I met you I've been having sleepless nights.

- He said to his laptop

That feeling when you go to sleep, knowing you couldn't solve that stupid bug😠

This fucking stupid asshole developer, wrote every single SQL execution with string formatting. Made me a full sleepless night fixing this shit. Isn’t this a classical SQL injection sample?

I was in college studying stuff I couldn't care less about and had a job that was consuming me. A couple of colleagues and I then decided to open our own company. Four years of sleepless nights later, all colleagues left. I had lost touch with family and friends, had lost a girlfriend and had been left with all the company's debt to pay. Going back to my old career seemed like the only option, but I couldn't let me sabotage myself again. I sat my butt in front of my sister's computer and downloaded every coding class I could get my hands on. Getting used to sleep deprivation helped. Eventually I built my first app and landed my first freelance job. All hat in hand, I told this company I didn't have much experience and they told me they'd hire a senior developer as well. It was on a Sunday morning, at 4am, with the deadline breathing down our necks, that the senior developer had jumped ship and the company asked me if I could take over the project. That moment I realised it's all about being competent. That moment I knew I could do this.

Project manager: We have 13weeks for this project. We have promised the client.

Me: okay, why wasnt I consulted on that commitment?

Project Manager: yeah.... we have to do it

Me: okay, if we have 2 dedicated backend and one full time frontend - ONLY on this project.

Project manager: (with the face of lies) yes yes sure we can do that.

6 weeks later, after continuous interruptions. Frontend is behind because he was only on the project to an amount of 2 weeks of the 6 weeks.

Project manager: Are we still on time?

Me: *looks around for prank cameras* no the f#*k we not

Project manager: can we put in weekends?

Me: its 2019 bro, that ain't happening

*But because I am a nice guy, and dont like taking Ls, we will have it ready. Just not gonna tell the project manager, he deserves a few sleepless nights *

Product manager: 'I am not feeling well so I'll keep this short'

And then continues to harp on for 25 minutes.

!RANT
Me and My designer friend created a chrome extension, He designed the UI in like 10Mins and It took me 4 sleepless weekends to make it to v0.1 launch. It's hurts when people only say *pleasant UI, loving it* and all shit. 😒 I'm totally shroooved 😷

For my school coursework, we have to create a search facility, now the problem is my class weren't taught this. So 3 sleepless nights and with basically no knowledge of Javascript, I create it. Now, I like my classmates so I don't want them to fail, so I distributed it to them with clear instructions and told my teacher that I'd done this. They asked for my help anytime it crashed but no-one said thanks, they just treated me like an easy route to a pass. I went onto my school private development forums and it turned out my teacher had created a tag for me called 'Unsung Hero' and made a UH appreciation thread that I could read but others could only type their own post. People in my class were praising me for what I'd done and how much I helped. I understand why I do development and why I'll never stop.

Thanks algo for making my day (or rather, sleepless night)

I've been away, lurking at the shadows (aka too lazy to actually log in) but a post from a new member intrigued me; this is dedicated to @devAstated . It is erratic, and VERY boring.
When I resigned from the Navy, I got a flood of questions from EVERY direction, from the lower rank personnel and the higher ups (for some reason, the higher-ups were very interested on what the resignation procedure was...). A very common question was, of course, why I resigned. This requires a bit of explaining (I'll be quick, I promise):
In my country, being in the Navy (or any public sector) means you have a VERY stable job position; you can't be fired unless you do a colossal fuck-up. Reduced to non-existent productivity? No problem. This was one of the reasons for my resignation, actually.
However, this is also used as a deterrent to keep you in, this fear of lack of stability and certainty. And this is the reason why so many asked me why I left, and what was I going to do, how was I going to be sure about my job security.
I have a simple system. It can be abused, but if you are careful, it may do you and your sanity good.
It all begins with your worth, as an employee (I assume you want to go this way, for now). Your worth is determined by the supply of your produced work, versus the demand for it. I work as a network and security engineer. While network engineers are somewhat more common, security engineers are kind of a rarity, and the "network AND security engineer" thing combined those two paths. This makes the supply of my work (network and security work from the same employee) quite limited, but the demand, to my surprise, is actually high.
Of course, this is not something easy to achieve, to be in the superior bargaining position - usually it requires great effort and many, many sleepless nights. Anyway....
Finding a field that has more demand than there is supply is just one part of the equation. You must also keep up with everything (especially with the tech industry, that changes with every second). The same rules apply when deciding on how to develop your skills: develop skills that are in short supply, but high demand. Usually, such skills tend to be very difficult to learn and master, hence the short supply.
You probably got asleep by now.... WAKE UP THIS IS IMPORTANT!
Now, to job security: if you produce, say, 1000$ of work, then know this:
YOU WILL BE PAID LESS THAN THAT. That is how the company makes profit. However, to maximize YOUR profit, and to have a measure of job security, you have to make sure that the value of your produced work is high. This is done by:
- Producing more work by working harder (hard method)
- Producing more work by working smarter (smart method)
- Making your work more valuable by acquiring high demand - low supply skills (economics method)
The hard method is the simplest, but also the most precarious - I'd advise the other two. Now, if you manage to produce, say, 3000$ worth of work, you can demand for 2000$ (numbers are random).
And here is the thing: any serious company wants employees that produce much more than they cost. The company will strive to pay them with as low a salary as it can get away with - after all, a company seeks to maximize its profit. However, if you have high demand - low supply skills, which means that you are more expensive to be replaced than you are to be paid, then guess what? You have unlocked god mode: the company needs you more than you need the company. Don't get me wrong: this is not an excuse to be unprofessional or unreasonable. However, you can look your boss in the eye. Believe me, most people out there can't.
Even if your company fails, an employee with valuable skills that brings profit tends to be snatched very quickly. If a company fires profitable employees, unless it hires more profitable employees to replace them, it has entered the spiral of death and will go bankrupt with mathematical certainty. Also, said fired employees tend to be absorbed quickly; after all, they bring profit, and companies are all about making the most profit.
It was a long post, and somewhat incoherent - the coffee buzz is almost gone, and the coffee crash is almost upon me. I'd like to hear the insight of the veterans; I estimate that it will be beneficial for the people that start out in this industry.

How many of you know these and can relate? 😅

my mind is multithreaded but can not physically execute more than one thread at a time.

i.e. i want to say 5 sentences in the same time bc im too lazy to wait and say them one by one after a specified delay of time, so i fuck myself over while speaking.

like atomic regions, i bust a few words from time to time from different sentences i have in mind and it ends up not making any sense to what im saying, but it does in my head.

so this is what too much covfefe and sleepless coding nights does to people

All my work, gone.All my efforts my sleepless nights 😭😭😭

When I was a graduate I often had to do proof of concepts and one had to be done by the weekend, I'd only been given it on the Wednesday. After a few sleepless nights I had it working or so I thought. On the Friday afternoon the CTO had a look at it and spotted a bug, he told me about it and I stayed in the office until about 10 when I finally managed to get some kind of fix in place. I emailed him told him I thought but was working and shouldn't happen again.

A few hours later no response I get a phone call from him screaming, shouting and swearing calling me useless and a waste of space etc. Etc. To the point I logged in desperately trying to fix the issue in a very hastily written integration and ended up having quite a major panic attack woke up on the floor and immediately went back to work. On the Saturday morning one of the senior Devs logged in and managed to fix it in the database and everything went fine in the end.

I went into work on Monday fully expecting to be fired from the way the CTO was speaking to me, I went to my line manager at the time and he just said don't worry. I left it in his
hands and things went back to normal. That call put a pretty serious dent in my confidence for years, but I learned a few valuable lessons which I stick to today.

Never work on serious shit after 6, use a second mobile for work which is turned off at 5 o'clock, properly test all fixes and always ALWAYS have someone in between graduates and senior management because honestly they can't handle the shit that's flung from above.

My level of frustration with Microsoft is growing to a point that I'm unable to contain it.

They buy Github, it was a great tool for developers because is FUCKING WORKED! New features were never beta tested on users unless they requested it.

Why in the absolute fuck am I getting all these new experimental bullshit features that literally make it harder for me to do my god damned job?

They provide me NOTHING but grief and sleepless weekends while I fix the god damned pipeline that's worked perfectly fine for YEARS.

Your business model is bad and your products are SHIT.

Fuck you Microsoft, I cannot even stress it enough. If I had a time machine that could go back 5 years and my options were: Tell the world about Covid, make sure Trump never became president, or stop the Github purchse. I would hunt down and brutally attack the team of executives that decided to buy Microsoft.

Words cannot adequately describe how much I want Microsoft to fuck off. If the company was a person and they died in a house fire it wouldn't be enough.

I just want a VCS that does what it's supposed to do. I don't need pipelines, I don't need image repos, I don't need static code analysis.

I JUST NEED A FUCKING VCS THAT CONTROLS VERSIONS OF SOFTWARE YOU IGNORANT FUCKS.

Lately I have been overthinking a lot. I am stressing myself out on every single decision believing that decisions I make today will define my tomorrow.

In hindsight, all the major and positive impact that have happened in my life were the decisions I took on the fly without much underlying research. The executional part did have me struggle a little but almost all of the best things happened to me were unplanned.

Funnily this has been my philosophy since years but guess what, I failed to follow it this time.

My overthinking and over planning caused me to mess up a little leading to a lot of unwanted anxieties.

Now let's reflect a little on the past, when my first relationship ended.. wait.. even earlier..

When I was in 5th standard, I was crazy bullied at school but I was happy go lucky and things turned out in my favour throughout till date.

I used to do what I loved and enjoyed. I literally never worried or thought about future. Not even once, things just fell in place for me miraculously.

When my first relationship ended, I was shattered. The darkest time of my life and me being all alone, I came out strong.

I used to live happy. I used to do stuff that I loved. I used to not care about what people thought. No socials for me. I used to follow random dark or counter culture stuff and be a little rebel that I am.

I remember, she and I used to go for fuck tons of events, hangout at waterfront of the city, spend time together and just be ourselves.

I never used to compete, compare, or conflict with anyone.

devRant was (and still is) a digital home for me. Wonderful phase of life.

Then shit went south. I joined Reddit. A girl told me about a pen pal app. Met another girl there.

Joined Telegram again to be in touch with her. She wasn't interested but I stayed on Telegram.

I could pick up any girl in minutes and do so effortlessly.

Slowly the twin extrovert in me came out. I started building and maintaining insanely awesome network.

Started spending more time on Reddit and Telegram.

Joined a bunch of professional communities. Career sky rocketd.

I was still happy and living a gala life at this stage.

Slowly, I realised I was underpaid (via professional communities). That unsettled me.

I frantically started hunting for jobs. 2020 and COVID-19 hit. Being indoors sucked more.

Became more aggressive on job hunt, money, building skills, work work work...

Met a hoe who fucked my emotions and ethics even further.

Got a high paying job. WLB went negative.

I started losing myself. I forgot my hobbies. I don't know what happiness is. I don't remember when I last smiled. I started planning my finances. Overthinking and stressing about shit troubled me into sleepless nights followed by early morning calls made things worse to my health.

I lost the clarity of my life. I FUCKING LOST ME.

I want myself back and I am gonna work for it. That happy little rebel Floyd who never gave a fuck about other's opinion on him or his beliefs. That dude who was shy to talk to girls. The guy who'd follow his passion and not society of high paying jobs or shit.

I almost got my finances and taxation sorted. Now I'll work to get my office timings in place. If not then I'll switch and find a job in UK/EU with a good WLB. And at the same time I'll pursue my hobbies.

Enough of rat race shit. Money has always been an outcome of my hard work and high work ethics. I want to live a life and I am willing to trade of extremely high paying/stressful FAANG jobs for a small company keeping me happy.

I'll be the happy Floyd that I was once was.

Because, the heart wants what the heart wants :)

Was cleaning up some of the old files on my system and found the first ever raycast program I had written.. in c++

This was during a time im pretty sure all of you guys just like me learnt the things that you could possibly do using code.

The experience of the first time I ran this and saw the sprites appear was the awe all of us have experienced in our own ways.

The reason I found this picture interesting is many of us end up losing the wonder and sense of excitement that got us into development in first place.

Go back , clean up your drives .. find your old code. I'm sure there is no better feeling than looking at the past you , writing bad code , with a probably bad language on a bad editor with sleepless nights to get nothing more than the output we wanted.

It's amazing when you realise everything is better when it's simple.

taxes. what the actual fuck? I finally graduated and got my first 6 figure job, only to find out the federal government basically takes 1/3 of my pay??? WHAT??? Why are we all okay with this? I feel fucking robbed. I worked so hard to get here, so many sleepless nights, so many all nighters studying, just to get 1/3 of my money stolen from me? what the fuck?????

The best comment I ever read in the production...

/*
* You may think you know what the following code does.
* But you dont. Trust me.
* Fiddle with it, and youll spend many a sleepless
* night cursing the moment you thought youd be clever
* enough to "optimize" the code below.
* Now close this file and go play with something else.
*/

#FuckPHPInTheAss

>Start working on PHP after ages.
>Found that mail() is deprecated through server support
>they suggest to use PEAR Mail
>Suggest to use deprecated PEAR code
>Fix deprecated code and magically runs on localhost
>ohmygodyess.php
>try to run on server
>fuckMyLife.exe
>Try using PHPMailer
>WTF is this How the fuck this works?
>Spends hours to understand with example code
>WorksFinOnLocal.exe
>NopeIWon'tRunOnServe.lulz
>about to use YiiMailer.

#Sleepless

I think we all know who the Atlas really is.

I've had this feeling ever since I've started my IT career.

Time: 0600 hrs.
Mental State: Almost falling asleep on my laptop

I get a call from my "random cousin" with whom I haven't spoken in a looooong time, and he says "Hey, Good Morning ! I can't connect to my WiFi from my Windows laptop running Windows 7. Can you help ?.."

That moment when you TRULY believe in the person who developed the "Network Diagnostics" utility on Windows and ask the "random cousin" who calls you up at 6 AM to try it...

And he sends you this screenshot after some time ...

And then you have to wake up and pinch yourself to see if you are in a dream...

Long sleepless day ahead...

This was some time ago. A Legendary bug appeared. It worked in the dev environment, but not in the test and production environment.

It had been a week since I was working on the issue. I couldn't pinpoint the problem. We CANNOT change the code that was already there, so we needed to override the code that was written. As I was going at it, something happened.

---
Manager: "Hey, it's working now. What did you do?"
Me: *Very confused because I know I was nowhere close to finding the real source of the problem* Oh, it is? Let me check.
Also me: *Goes and check on the test and prod environment and indeed, it's already working*
Also me to the power of three: *Contemplates on life, the meaning of it, of why I am here, who's going to throw out the trash later, asking myself whether my buddies and I will be drinking tonight, only to realize that I am still on the phone with my manager*
Me again: "Oh wow, it's working."
Manager: "Great job. What were the changes in the code?"
Me: "All I did was put console logs and pushed the changes to test and prod if they were producing the same log results."
Manager: "So there were no changes whatsoever, is that what you mean?"
Me: "Yep. I've no idea why it just suddenly worked."
Manager: "Well, as long as it's working! Just remove those logs and deploy them again to the test and prod environment and add 'Test and prod fix' to the commit comment."
Me: "But what if the problem comes up again? I mean technically we haven't resolved the issue. The only change I made were like 20 lines of console logs! "
Manager: "It's working, isn't it? If it becomes a problem, we'll work it out later."
---

I did as I was told, and Lo and Behold, the problem never occurred again.

Was the system playing a joke on me? The system probably felt sorry for me and thought, "Look at this poor fucker, having such a hard time on a problem he can't even comprehend. That idiotic programmer had so many sleepless nights and yet still couldn't find the solution. Guess I gotta do my job and fix it for him. I'm the only one doing the work around here. Pathetic Homo sapiens!"

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that it's over but..

What the fuck happened?

There is a fuck-nut moron developer in my team who's been driving me crazy. I end up having multiple conversation with him on the same problem; I give him the solution; he nods his head and then makes the same mistake he made earlier.

I really want to help him learn and grow, but one can only tolerate so much stupidity before giving up.

Too much coding = Backpain, ouch!

Me and my developer friend worked with my ex-colleague with this fitness directory website because he promised to give us {{ thisAmount }} upon the {{ completionDate }}.

He was my friend and I trusted him.

It took me weeks of sleepless nights building the project. I had a full-time job that time, and I worked on the project during evenings. All went well, and as we reach the {{ completionDate }}, the demo site is already up and running.

A week before the {{ completionDate }}, he hired his new wife as the COO of the startup. It was cool, she keep noticing things on the site which shouldn't be there, and keeps on suggesting sections that has to be there. I was okay with it, until I realized that we are already a month late with the deadline.

Every single hour, I get a message from them like, "it's not working", "when can you finish this feature?", blah blah blah.. and so on.

I got frustrated.

"I want my fucking life back", I told them. No one cared about the {{ completionDate }}, the sleepless zombies they are working with and our payment. They keep on coming up with this "amazing" ass features, and now they are not paying because they said "it's not complete".

Idiot enough to trust a friend. I was unprotected, there was no legal-binding document that states their obligation to pay.

My dev friend and I handed over the project to this web development company which they prefer, and kept a backdoor on the application.

I kind of moved on with the payment issue after a month. But without their knowledge, I kept an eye on the progress and made sure that I still have the access to their server, DNS, etc..

BUT when they announced the official launch on social media, I realized that I was on the wrong train the whole time.

They switched to a different server.

They thanked all the people involved with the project via social media, EXCEPT me and my coding partner who originally built the site from ground up. A little "thank you" note from them will make us feel a little better. But, never happened.

I checked up the site and it was rewritten from originally Laravel 5 to CodeIgniter 1. That is like shifting from a luxury yacht where you can bang some hot chicks, to a row boat where your left hand is holding the paddle whilst your right hand is wanking yourself.

I almost ran out of bullets.

Luckily, CodeIgniter 1 was prone to SQLi by default.

I was able to get the administrator password in plain text and fucked with their data. But that didn't make me feel better because other people's info are involved.

So, I looked for something else to screw with. What I found? A message with the credit card details.

Finally, a chance to do something good for humanity. I just donated a few thousand dollars to different charity websites.

So, the other night I ate too much and it somehow messed up with my nervous system... I spent about 3 or 4 hours being sleepless in bed.. Until I finally decided to ask the all-knowledgeable Google assistant for help. And that's what I got.

Sleepless night are often the start of great idea's, if only i could remember them the next day after finally falling asleep

Started working as a developer about 2 months ago and on the first day of of work I was tought how to make coffee.

I couldn't understand why is coffee so important to the everyone in the company. I didn't drink the coffee for the first 2 week.

Now after many sleepless nights spent coding i then realise why the people worship the drink so much.

People get very pissed when they go to coffee machine and find that there is no coffee then the last person to have a cup is going to be shouted at and at times even get insulted.

Now coffee is my fuel and cant do much without it.

there has to be a special place in hell for people who don't set their mobile phones to vibration while in office.
no john, latest tv show theme song as ringtone is not going to make you cool. you are just disturbing others.

something i (we) don't have to face in remote work. multiple folks around my seat had their ringer on.

i have a test at 8am , and I'm still here doing nothing but staying awake and reading jokes.

I'm sure as fuck that I'm gonna regret this tomorrow morning.

Assignment release: this is a basic assignment that is supposed to help you understand the basics of memory allocation. You are free to use any design you want, however you can implement more advanced features that would lean towards specific designs. What will be punished is that you don't have a dynamic memory allocator. We will run the tests for these offline after the deadline

2 days before the deadline: we released the tests for checking whether you're allocating memory dynamically, but these tests also check for this specific design. So fuck you for choosing any other design than this one. Have fun on sleepless nights.

Fuck me, I guess, for worthlessly working on a different design than they wished for, but didn't specifically ask for from the beginning. I just wasted 2 weeks of my life and feel unmotivated af to do anything anymore regarding this. Fuck this shit. Fuck them. Fuck this course.

Oh, well. Work on bad projects with bad clients/managers, for the sake of the money, it's a life sucker. At first I thought it was not a big deal. I was collaborating to someone's elses business and doing the best work I could.

I was tired, depressed, sleepless, having allergic rhitinis every two weeks, frustrated without any opportunity to grow intellectually, fearing clients calls and emails, and... in denial.

Since last year, I decided to stop working on some kind of project and for some kind of people. As the remaining contracts and projects were being wrapped up, I started to feel relieved, despite of all anxienty of let go long term clients and see income lowering.

Then I started to use my free time and savings to futher my education, send cvs and work on side projects. It's not an easy transition. I'll still need to keep working on not-so-good projects to pay the bills, however, I've been selecting more.

Slowly I'm recovering my life, health and enthusiasm for cs again.
I'm learning to not give a fuck and it really helps.

When it is 645am Friday and you spent the whole week with meetings and tasks and sleepless nights.

You just cannot give a tiny rat ass about the naming of routes and functions.

DO NOT ask me about my variable names!

I hate leaving work when in the middle of something, I tend to obsess over it all night lamenting that I didn't finish.

Today I was in a similar position but I needed input from our Finance directorate before I could finish. So I sent them an email which would mean that I'd done everything possible and could go home knowing there was nothing more I could do tonight as surely no one would be working this late.

However five minutes later they replied giving me the exact details I needed.

So yet again, I'm going home frustrated.

Why can't they be that useful the rest of the day?!

!rant

Do you also sometimes have these nights in which you don't want to sleep but instead want to learn new stuff?

Right now I have one of these nights again and I have spent the last 1:20h watching a lecture by a German professor about cryptography. Man I can't wait to leave fucking highschool behind and go to university to learn stuff I am interested in.

A warm welcome I received as I entered home returning from 48hr long exhausting sleepless time.
Thanks for these lovely stickers!

Today we launched the website that I’ve been working on for months. But the stress and fatigue of everything else (my personal life, the sleepless nights) got to me. Even though I got it done and it looks great, all I can focus on is how I ended the project. How I let the frustration of everything get to me. I just needed to get that off my chest.

What a fucking weekend. Tried to clone an existing windows hard drive onto a new unused one with the same size. Oh the adventure that I got myself into. 😭
Old hard drive corrupted in the middle of the process (how???). Not bootable anymore (until at the very end).
Then an odyssey started to try to rescue the old data using my spare linux drive onto a USB stick. Fucking with uefi settings and apparently a boot sequence with incorrectly named drives (?).
Had to reflash a usb stick I had for linux installation to windows installation.
I had multiple drives attached to my PC and didn't want my own ones to be overridden, so I needed to detach all drives except for the target one.
The target one had already fucked up partitions from the failed cloning, so I had to research the tools to fix it manually, not knowing what I was doing.
At the end it worked out, windows installed, data copied onto the target.
The old drive was able to recover, but I didn't give a shit about it anymore.

Was a sleepless night, spent wayy too much time with this...

Who has replaced a dot with a semicolon while composing a SQL query in php? Me. 😤😤😤😤😤
Two hours spent in fixing everything and a sleepless night.

Had to wake up 1 hour earlier today, and the worry of that kept me awake last night. Now I sit here like a zombie, hating the day that I'm going to have, which is not full of exciting coding with headphones on and Babymetal in my ears, but full of meetings.
I already see my eyes tearing up, reality fading, a guy in a meeting asking me something and pulling me back to reality so that I could stare blankly into his eyes and reply a generic "Yeah, I agree with your proposal", so everyone will think that I'm on drugs or something.

Welp... gotta go. Fuck.

I've always wanted to make games, I went into university doing mechanical engineering and while at the start I enjoyed it, getting closer to the end I had a hate for engineering, as this hate grew I ended up trying to learn programming in my spare time, actually I spent my spare doing lots of things which basically gave off the impression I wouldn't be happy with engineering.

After I graduated I decided to do my BCIS and I loved every minute of it, I was fortunate to get a lecturer in my second semester that was an experienced game devloper, someone I look up to and someone who pushed me to my absolute limits, even with the sleepless nights I was still happy with programming, the logical thinking that goes into programming and also the near instant feedback is what I really love.

But as it comes down to it, I've gotten closer to my dream of becoming a game developer, it may only be as a hobby for now but I'm really grateful I have gotten into programming.

So I guess with coding has changed my life for the better, since I know I'd never be happy as an engineer, and even with all the issues I run into I still enjoy it in the end.

Let's see how long this lasts lol

Just writing this because i’m stressed as fuck and i’m currently having my second sleepless night in a row...

Like i mentioned earlier i have 4 projects on my name. Two are on a real tight deadline, the other two are smaller, more support like issues.

Last week i got asked basically to get about 20 storypoints done in two hours by my Scrum master. Ehh no. Impossible. Wish i could do magic...

Yesterday i had to make a quick hotfix between the two bigger projects. Tried to reject this but had to do this any way. (It was basically the clients fault/content)

Also, f’d it up because there are current changes that are ready for deploy but haven’t been approved yet.

Do i get a f’ckin email this morning about how the progress wasn’t followed and the git permissions aren’t right.

You fucking twat! If i i did have ANY freaking minute in my planning to actually take the time for this damn hotfix this didn’t happen any way! You’re fucking restrictions only make things harder you goddamn motherfucking morron!

TL;DR; do your best all you like, strive to be the #1 if you want to, but do not expect to be appreciated for walking an extra mile of excellence. You can get burned for that.

They say verbalising it makes it less painful. So I guess I'll try to do just that. Because it still hurts, even though it happened many years ago.

I was about to finish college. As usual, the last year we have to prepare a project and demonstrate it at the end of the year. I worked. I worked hard. Many sleepless nights, many nerves burned. I was making an android app - StudentBuddy. It was supposed to alleviate students' organizational problems: finding the right building (city plans, maps, bus schedules and options/suggestions), the right auditorium (I used pictures of building evac plans with classes indexed on them; drawing the red line as the path to go to find the right room), having the schedule in-app, notifications, push-notifications (e.g. teacher posts "will be 15 minutes late" or "15:30 moved to aud. 326"), homework, etc. Looots of info, loooots of features. Definitely lots of time spent and heaps of new info learned along the way.

The architecture was simple. It was a server-side REST webapp and an Android app as a client. Plenty of entities, as the system had to cover a broad spectrum of features. Consequently, I had to spin up a large number of webmethods, implement them, write clients for them and keep them in-sync. Eventually, I decided to build an annotation processor that generates webmethods and clients automatically - I just had to write a template and define what I want generated. That worked PERFECTLY.

In the end, I spun up and implemented hundreds of webmethods. Most of them were used in the Android app (client) - to access and upsert entities, transition states, etc. Some of them I left as TBD for the future - for when the app gets the ADMIN module created. I still used those webmethods to populate the DB.

The day came when I had to demonstrate my creation. As always, there was a commission: some high-level folks from the college, some guests from businesses.

My turn to speak. Everything went great, as reversed. I present the problem, demonstrate the app, demonstrate the notifications, plans, etc. Then I describe at high level what the implementation is like and future development plans. They ask me questions - I answer them all.

I was sure I was going to get a 10 - the highest score. This was by far the most advanced project of all presented that day!

Other people do their demos. I wait to the end patiently to hear the results. Commission leaves the room. 10 minutes later someone comes in and calls my name. She walks me to the room where the judgement is made. Uh-oh, what could've possibly gone wrong...?

The leader is reading through my project's docs and I don't like the look on his face. He opens the last 7 pages where all the webmethods are listed, points them to me and asks:
LEAD: What is this??? Are all of these implemented? Are they all being used in the app?
ME: Yes, I have implemented all of them. Most of them are used in the app, others are there for future development - for when the ADMIN module is created
LEAD: But why are there so many of them? You can't possibly need them all!
ME: The scope of the application is huge. There are lots of entities, and more than half of the methods are but extended CRUD calls
LEAD: But there are so many of them! And you say you are not using them in your app
ME: Yes, I was using them manually to perform admin tasks, like creating all the entities with all the relations in order to populate the DB (FTR: it was perfectly OK to not have the app completed 100%. We were encouraged to build an MVP and have plans for future development)
LEAD: <shakes his head in disapproval>
LEAD: Okay, That will be all. you can return to the auditorium

In the end, I was not given the highest score, while some other, less advanced projects, were. I was so upset and confused I could not force myself to ask WHY.

I still carry this sore with me and it still hurts to remember. Also, I have learned a painful life lesson: do your best all you like, strive to be the #1 if you want to, but do not expect to be appreciated for walking an extra mile of excellence. You can get burned for that.

Morning after sleepless night...

When you are sleep deprived but still can't sleep because your brain is proposing solutions to THAT problem.

My body is begging me to sleep, but there is so much caffeine in my blood that brain is not letting me to do so....

My CS grade came in today and I'm sad because even at my best I could not get through it. Even with all the time I spent in and out of class, and those sleepless nights spent programming into the morning. All this effort and I still couldn't pass this class. My final killed me, and i'm upset because I know this exam doesn't represent all that I can do. It worries me because I feel like I will be told by employers that I'm not qualified because of a number. The number isn't everything, there's a story to every number.

#just a thought
The child that is the most curious will grow up to be most boring person.

Why?
Since most other children of his age would be doing random and a lot of things without questioning , he would be struck in his simple world of 'why this happens' , therby limiting him to one but deep knowledge of a field.

And even if not , being curious leads to answers of little mysteries ignored by ususal ppl. Therefore, this boy with lots of knowledge will be "boring, coz he always have some right things to say".

Thus a child can either don't care and do whatever his authority wants from him without questioning, and grow into a likeable, social adult, or be curious , learn in deep and grow out to be a specially awkward person

I'm very tired.

That's it. That's all I wanted to say. -v-

Gonna try and get some sleep. Insomnia hits hard as fuck. :-D

Tutorial: How to get rid of your dev?

1. Find a very old (2+ years) jira task that took a lot of sleepless nights to get resolved.
2. Make sure that your dev is still on the watchers list.
3. Reopen to 'change some labels'.
4. Forget to close the task again.
5. Remove the body. Heart attack will get classified as a natural cause.
6. Close the task.

The only thing that gives me life.....😌☕

*le me being frustrated af trying to compile asm.
.section won't work for fasm. And some other things won't work for Nasm.
Now I got the .obj aka .o from the .asm. But ldrdf.exe from the nasm compiler isn't working properly. And I can't find a troubleshoot online. Seems like this will be a sleepless night...

Log 1:

Day 10 of crunch time. I have entered a sleepless zen state. Lord willing, I will be able to get 7 hours of sleep Saturday night. The building is terrifying at night, as there are a lot of noises. Security guards are nice, but curious to see me all alone. Must not show weakness in case they think numbers will give them an advantage over me.

Supplies are low. Only one type of energy drink left in the machine, and coffee gone for the night. My phone is out of fast data so Pandora is spotty at best. I have battery to get me through the night at least.

Tomorrow and Saturday decide the fate of the project. My team lead has not slept in at least 2 days. I feel guilty napping when I do, but she is driven like Ahab so I will let her obsession carry her.

If I am alive tomorrow I will report in.

After working day and night, grinding it to the shit, sleepless night, got another victory in my project.

I have almost tamed Rust lang to make it dance to my will

xD

Okay I give up. I just don't get this docker networking stuff. I need someone to save me these sleepless nights and get on a call with me. A docker expert please. I am dying and my make believe devops engineer persona is crashing on me.

Fucking incompetent manager.
I could spend my time trying to convince him about the leaner, faster way to launch.
But in order to maintain my own sanity and peace of mind, I have decided to let him screw up the project. Time to plan for an exit.

2am: I can just go to bed at 4am and get 4 hours of sleep and be fine

4am: Eh, I'll just sleep at 6am and take a nap before work.

6am: Who the fuck needs sleep? That's why I bought coffee

I think it's going to be another sleepless night...

A tech as well as a life question (actually more of a useless sleepless thought) : What do you think is more important? Exposing yourself to multiple technologies, career paths and life experiences or diving deep into a single technology, career path and life experience?

I feel like being an expert in 1 tech might pay off in terms of job life , and it would be bad for a person who is constantly switching between career paths, but sometimes i feel like i should have tried other paths too. Not just the life of a techie, like people who are deep into media and journalism, accountancy or those film industry jobs ; politics or finances , etc.

Its like, we found an apple to be a tasty fruit and now we have to be the apple guy forever. The better i am in being the apple guy, the more i will have to eat apples and the more i will earn. Why can't i try pears or oranges?

my manager pings me to get info on stuff he's coordinating with others.
such as, it this possible to do? what's the estimate? what's the flow?
and then he pawns it off as his own input.
and when the information flows back to me, I hear folks saying that he came with this idea/estimate.

maybe it's a typical manager thing to use engineer's input as their own grasp/knowledge of the project. at least they should extend the courtesy of acknowledgement.

Lots of code not working, lots of job problems, lots of troubles in life, lots of sleepless nights…

But hey, I have marshmallow chocolate cookies :)

Sleepless night
mysql -uroot -ppassword database | xz > dump.tar.xz

And I keep staring at the screen for 30mins wondering how fkin big the database is!

11 pm: Me: I'm going to go to bed after I fix this bug!
3 am: *Pulling my hair out trying to fix the bug*
Me: HOW IS IT 3 AM ALREADY!

The whole class is approaching me to solve the assignment coding problems, in addition to it our professor is changing the way we code as i insisted him. I don't know if this is the result of my past sleepless nights.

I wrote driver to a research OS as a university project. The system behave weird in some subtle ways, and I assumed that's my fault, as an inexperienced programmer.

After two sleepless weeks of chasing ghosts, I've realized that for some reason there is a context-switch that *did not* involve the scheduler! Further investigation led to the actual bug: the main trap code in the kernel was maskerading as different process just to be able to work on its virtual address, but never put that mask off!

It could have been found easily by a static analysis tool, given that a non-volatile global variable was only written to and never read; but we didn't use any.

Sometimes, at least once or twice during the month my body just fucking breaks. Right now for example I can't sleep and I am beyond fucking tired. This is going to hurt bad once I eventually pass out but feel the weird pain that I get from going sleepless for 2 fucking nights.

I work out like a motherfucker in order to get tired. Every fucking day I land on the gym(monday to Thursdays and Friday I take it easy with saturday and sunday rest) i run 3 to 4 miles just to get tired enough.

But not this week. Have not been able to sleep since friday for more than 4 hours.

Why am I this fucking way? I am far too young to be fucking around this way. My caffeine intake is close to null.

Fuck me I just want to sleep.

An idea which was once your dream.
You worked very hard.
You exhausted all your time.
Your no.1 priority is your dream then family.
Your sleepless nights were comforted by naps.
You dropped out of school.
You stopped your lovely job.
Finally, you succeeded.
You brought the dream to life. Hurray!
You were very excited including the people around you.
... And then

One rich dude came by...

nights aren't ment for sleeping , nights are ment for coding 😜

Just ordered my first ssd as a sort of self-reward for managing to get my groups project to get the 2nd highest score in class after many sleepless nights refactoring and optimizing the codebase

Honestly I’d have been happy with a C just so I passed the damn class. But my individual grade was an A and the group’s collective grade was a 86. The second highest group grade in class

First and foremost, students should be carefully taught the logic and mentality behind programming. Most of the time I see that the introductory programming courses waste so much energy in teaching the language itself. So students kinda just get fucked cause many people end up ending the course without having actually gained the "programming perspective".
Stop teaching pointers and lambdas and even leave the object oriented stiff till later. If a student doesn't know why we use a For loop then how can they learn anything else.
I believe once that thing in your brain clicks about programming, everything goes smooth from there... kinda :P

Second of all, and this pertains mainly to the engineering and science disciplines.
We need a fundamental and strong mathematical foundation. And no I don't mean taking fucking double integrals. Teach us Linear Algebra, Graph theory, the properties of matrices, and Probability theory.
One of the things I suffered from most and regret in university is having a weak foundation in math and having to spend more time catching myself up to speed.
It's so annoying reading a paper on a new algorithm or method and feeling like an idiot because I can't understand what magic these people did.

Numerical Methods...
Ok this is more deeper, maybe a 2nd year course.
But this is something we take for granted.
Computers don't magically add and subtract and multiply.
They fuck up.
And it'll bite you in the ass if you're not even aware that the computer we all love so much isn't as perfect as we think

Some hardware knowledge.
Probably a basic embedded systems course with arduinos
just so you can get a feel for how our beautiful software actually makes those electrons go weeeeeeeee

And finally
Practice practice
Projects projects
like honestly
just give me the internet and some projects
Ill learn everything else
Projects are the best motivation
I hate this purely theoretical approach
where we memorize or read code and write these stupid exams
Test what we are capable off
make us do projects that take sleepless nights and litres of coffee
And judge our methods, documentation, team work, and output

Team work skills and tools (VCS, communicating, project management, etc.)

Documentation and Reporting
Properly
:)
maybe even with LaTeX :D

Yeah that's the gist of whats on my mind at the moment regarding an ideal computer science education
At least the foundations
The rest I leave it to the next dude.

Been lying on the bed for 5 hours now and still can’t sleep. Popping a melatonin now... hope I don’t overdose on this stuff....RIP....

Reached home by 6, had dinner, played some FIFA, felt sleepy and went to bed by 9.30.
Now I woke in the middle of the night and going through every app in my phone .
I just came here to say Hi.

To be honest, I've never been drunk. Really, teenagers couldn't be drunk, yeah? Only thing I drink is a lot of coffee, yerba, and tea. Never drink yerba before you're going to sleep. That could end with another sleepless night in front of your laptop. Also, never drink yerba in public, some may call you hipster, some may call you gay. But I still don't know what homosexual thing is in yerba.

#justathought
I have realized that my sleepless self is smarter than my usual self . Its like , as my battery goes out, a fuckin monster takes control and tries to rule my brain, scolding my usual self , taunting over smartly and wanting to fuck the hell up everyone who tries to mess with me (nd even some normal friends too)

Whereas my usual self is just meek , defensive and never attacking, sweet listener, calm kind of person with whom people usually mess up or joke about for fun .

I like this aggressive me. Fuck you body health , we are living the life of a sleepless asshole

Fucking inherited extremely buggy code that has given me so many sleepless nights

of late my team has slipped in the rather irritating habit of not scheduling review meetings; instead they just announce during scrum that they'll have a review right after scrum. this just messes up the day. you go to scrum thinking 15-20 minutes, and boom you end up with 3 hours of back to back unscheduled meetings

Yes today I learn ma lesson about deleting projects in Linux. jst deleted a project which had a fixed bug which took me two sleepless nights. I can only recover jar files... wow.

Just when you are about to quit
notification bell goes "Ntiiingggg...."
check messages...
message from the bank....

Client just dumped $$$ in there
...... shiiit
drink more energy drink
more coffee.....
more sleepless nights

Do you ever remember something new and wake up in the middle of the night to edit your code so that you don't forget it by tomorrow morning?

Friday is always such a significant day because you know what's up next? WEEKEND BABY but I am up since 4am after four hours of sleep (it's 5am now), because well life sometimes sucks like that, and the only thing keeping my brain from going gaga is work so I am working since 4am to probably 7,8pm
Fml and wish me luck

after having to deal with a lot of weird "rewrites" and "refactorings" by co-workers i started to add this comment into the head of my sourcefiles:

You may think you know what the following code does.
But you dont. Trust me.
Fiddle with it, and youll spend many sleepless nights cursing the moment you thought youd be clever enough to "optimize" the code below. Now close this file and go play with something else.

Found this somewhere on the interwebs and since i use it the "refactorings" and "optimizations" of my code stopped nearly completely

Went to bed at 23:40, slept at ~23:50 - goal accomplished
Woke up, asked that little spying bastard besides me (echo dot) about the time. Understood sth. in the neighbourhood of 0:30.
Booted the phone, realized I've slept a bit more.. It's 2:30.
By now it's 6:32 (CET) I havn't done anything productive but to get out of bed and get some food.
Let's see if my head will produce some working code.

do you have a visible tattoo?
if so, have you ever been discriminated because of it?

I have been thinking about getting an arm tattoo for a couple of years now. Never been able to make the call to go for it.

More than 16 hours every single day for 3 months because of bad timing by our PM.

(Note for dfox: I love this place and i would really like to have all my posts/ ++s/comment data available to me . Current system does not allow me to see posts more than some months old. is it possible? I hope devrant is not deleting old posts)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stream of thoughts coming through

#justAthought 1
If you feel you are mentally unique (Not in retarded or disable kind of way, but having a different view of thinking, a different perspective, not-a-sheep-in-a-herd kind of mentality) , then you PROBABLY ARE, its just those who are not that mentally unique will find your thoughts absurd until you are proving yourself to be a successful person.
Even though you feel something is wrong in a current situation, and you can put some valid points in your argument, there would always come a point where your personal failures or average-ness would overshadow your valid points (kind of personal experience than a thought :/ )

#justAThought2 (Disclaimer: i am no fraud guru or priest, just a 9-5 curious , sleepless student-cum-professional)
I sometimes feel that the only good, meaningful goal that i could think for my life would be : to earn enough money to set up a small experiment environment , where I would initially take, around 25-30 people for 1-2 years. It would be an environment with totally $0 value for materialistic things like money, jewels, property,etc . Everyone is living free of tensions of basic services like food, clothes, house, taxes, work to live etc. Together we all will be collectively doing just these things: Making ourselves healthy , and more kind, spiritual towards other humans, animals, plants and environment, and thinking of ways to eradicate the value of "value".
We have already reached a point where we are generating even more harmful Technology than useful tech, how about changing the way of thinking and taking a small pause? I know a lot of people would be reluctant to do any work in such environment, but i believe one day or another, every one of these people has to come back to their usual jobs , but this time, not for money but for humanity.
Do you think this kind of environment is possible for the whole world? Because today most, if not all thinks that money is the ultimate goal. can we change that, and would that change be good?

#justAthought 3 (Disclaimer : 1. Its my mom's thought/whatsapp status , i kind off liked it. she is super religious by the way ^_^! | 2. more relevant for india/multi religious countries 3. for Indians: kind of thought from movie "oh my god")

There should be a regional law during so called "acts of god"(floods, earthquakes, other natural disasters) under which the donations given to religious places(temples, churches, mosques,etc) would be used to provide relief to affected areas.

The fruit company is making me have sleepless nights.
Ffs...How long does it take to approve a developers account?
Considering we have 3 other developer accounts with them but we do need that 1 extra. This is so frustrating

!rant but it's a history

Last months I've been working on an investigation for an assignment on my uni. I required to collect specific data, so I coded an app to aid me on that. Time goes by and one day my mobile development teacher calls me (I used the app for my investigation and as final project on another subject) and tells me if I want to go into a contest with my app, "Why not?" I thought.

I asked some friends to join me because the contest required a team of 3 members minimum. In two days I had to justify the development of my app, how I would make money with it and other stuff.

I swear, this app was just a by-product, and I know you're hoping to hear a win story... We got second place, but hell it feels good to think that some sleepless nights coding along could give back so much.

Moral of the story: Never give up any chance.

That final week when you have four finals and have to finalize a game AI and a dynamic website.

m not insomniac..just that code bugs hurt me more than the bed bugs :(

That moment when a 6 month solo project is done and the next day they tell you fuck the asset tracking system

We need you to turn that into pastel evolution

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Good bye hard work
Hello sleepless nights

I love software engineering. I enjoy every aspects of it. But recently due to some company politics it is a shit show at my workplace.

I am actively looking for a change and things are going bit slow due to the pandemic situation. I am really frustrated and end up having nightmares every time when I sleep. I know in these times having a job itself is a big thing.
I really wish to be at a place where I can work effectively.

CEO wants some Genie magic!!!!

I work at a start-up were we have interns from the university go through trainings and mentorship before joing our team. Budget is very tight and spending is unthinkable.

Took me a lot of pains and sleepless night, reading of tech books and lot of strength to be were I am and I still do it because I want more but recently I got into intense coversation with CEO and he wants me to do some genie magic, he is like.....

CEO: we need more hands to do client work and build our products base , why is it difficult for New developers to start working on our code base?

ME: those guys are not developers, there is a big margin between being a developer and a university graduate in the country.

I was wondering after the whole stuff , if those guys can just grab this thing and become genius overnight, well if that happens then I am screwed, it will imply I am an asshole who spent time at simple things but we know this things can be uneasy to wrap your head around especially when the concept or language is new to you, I was pissed up at the meeting and gave some anoying unreasonable options which tells I was angry, at the end that understood my point and we got a way forward and reasonable

i have had sleepless nights when i saw devs using default ctrl+tab in "sublime text". and nightmares when they said it sucks because of this.

Popping a Klonopin after staying away from benzodiazepines for nearly 2 years. Hopefully I won’t relapse. I wish my mind had an on/off switch or something. Fuck insomnia!

I'm about to be a Web Developer. Our bootcamp is about to end tomorrow. More sleepless nights for me then.

Optics matter. You could be doing a shit job (as a developer), but if you keep up the good optics with the boss, agreeing to build a calculus app in the future, even though the multiplication api you are currently working on keeps throwing error, you'll look good.

Exciting and challenging projects really helps with burnout. I didn't really believe that the solution is to work more it sounds stupid, but it reminded me why I love my craft, it was worth the sleepless nights(wouldn't do it in the long term). I hope you get the opportunity to work on something that you are passionate about and reignite that fire 🙂

If a job (swiss knife developer) is preventing you from reaching your goal (freelancing) and take all your time so you can't learn new things, you can't go to the gym, all the projects are boring (theme forest wordpress integration, prestashop hack into cpanel ...), make you sleepless at nights, and grumpier than grumpy cat ... will you quit ?