Courtesy of Reddit

A $7000 trash can, courtesy of Apple

Courtesy of Reddit

Courtesy - Science page @fb

So the first hackathon I attended my team and I came stone last. So while we wait for the awards I have 3 beers to drown my sorrows (I am a 2 beer guy so I was already feeling it)

We go into the ceremony and there were not enough chairs at a table for my team, so I end up sitting at the winning teams table. Let's just say I adopted a bottle of wine.

A wine bottle down I am feeling super drunk. I told myself "no more booze" ... Then the tequila's started rolling. I must have been quite visibly drunk because the other people at the table were giving me more to drink. Eventually I was like "I am ok, I am ok"

I wake up 2 days later on the floor of my bedroom at my parents house. Apparently this is what happened after the tequila's:

I decided to have an awards ceremony of my own and hug EVERYONE, apparently one judge did not enjoy his drunken hug very much (lol). Then I threw up in the hotels courtesy car, and also ran backwards into their bushes.

A buddy of mine took me home, but was to scared to face my parents, so he dumped me (now asleep) on the my parents driveway, rang the bell and buggered off, leaving my parents to drag me inside.

😂
Courtesy - xkcd.com

This made me crack up!

Courtesy: Xkcd

"Put aside your ego, it's the worst problem with programmers" -My mentor

I tend to help others and contribute with courtesy, putting my ego aside and listening to others' suggestions at all times, no matter how potentially silly they are

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

very long pause….

“Java.”

-courtesy of a software engineering professor

"CSS doesn't put the fun in fundamentals. But it can make it bold."

Oh my god, that's so bad is actually good.

Courtesy of Enki.

The Absolutely True Story of a Real Programmer Who Never Learned C.

I have a young friend named Sam who is quite a programming prodigy. Sam does know C! I need to make this clear: he’s not the titular programmer.
But a couple years ago Sam told me a story about a different programmer who never learned C, and I liked it so much that right on the spot I asked his permission to repeat it. (I could never just steal such a tale.)
Sam wasn’t always a programmer—actually he started in his later teens, in part because he was more of a jock, and in part because he was related to programmers and wanted to do his own thing. But, like all great programmers, once he was bitten by the bug he immersed himself completely in it.
One day Sam happened to be talking programming with his uncle, who was also a programmer but from way, way back.
“Hey,” said Sam, “I’m learning this language called C. You must know a lot of languages, did you ever study C?”
“No,” said the uncle, to Sam’s surprise. “I am one of the very few programmers who never had to learn C.”
“Because I wrote it.”
Oh, Sam’s last name is Ritchie.
What I love about this story is the idea of Dennis waiting Sam’s entire life to deliver this zinger. Just imagine sitting on a line that good, watching your nephew grow up and waiting, waiting until the one day he finally starts learning to code. Did he work on the line in his head at night? Like, “Hmm, how should I word it so I can deliver the punch line perfectly? Should I say ‘I never took a class on C?’ Nah, too awkward…”
The great thing about geniuses is how much effort they put into everything.

Courtesy : Wil Shiply.

Apparently, part of being a software engineer means knowing how to read minds and do other people's jobs.

While implementing a user story for marketing, we found some associated features that, according to the database, have not been used for years. We tell them this. We do the courtesy of asking, "Hey, is there anything on the site that is utilizing these features? We'd like to clean up the DB."

"We don't know."

Engineering suggests, "Ok, lets turn the feature off, then, and see if anyone complains. It's been years according to the DB."

Marketing gets angry and hostile and says, "That's not the way to do things!"

I don't vocalize, "Well, not knowing how to do your own damned job is not the way to do things."
-
Marketing asks us to integrate a third party feature to the site. We ask, "Ok, what page do you want it on, and what information do you want to collect, and what should it look like?"

"I don't know. You're engineering. You tell us."

We implement it as best we can.

Marketing says, "HEY! This isn't done right! It's missing this and this and this!"

"Did you ask us to implement that? According to the user story, it passes acceptance criteria."

Marketing says, "I thought you would just know that! I didn't know it was a separate thing. Just put it on all the pages, then. You guys really should know the site better."

Engineering gets angry and hostile
-
Marketing says, "We need this removed from the site."

Engineering replies, "We have a GUI for that. Just go to this URL and you can do it yourself."

Marketing replies, "Well, if that's a really complicated thing, can you just run a script against the DB?"

Engineering says, "If we've built a UI for you, we really shouldn't be executing SQL scripts directly against the DB."

Marketing gets angry and hostile.
-
Engineering tries asking nicely.

"Marketing, if you want us to add new stuff to the site, or change stuff, please tell us what it is and where it should go and what the customer experience should be like."

Marketing replies, "We don't know the site that well. We are leaning on you to tell us."

I do not vocalize, all while trying to keep my eyes from bulging out of my head, my face red with rage, "YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF SELLING SHIT ON A WEBSITE THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. YOU ARE ASKING FOR CHANGES TO SOMETHING YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?"

Engineering is angry and hostile.

Courtesy of r/ProgrammerHumor

!dev

After almost a year of watching and experimenting (and not wanting to believe), I’ve learned something about the people i work with:

They don’t consider ideas based on the idea’s own merit, nor does a good idea improve their views of the person proposing it. They instead give the idea merit based entirely on who proposed it. It’s backwards.

• If they like or revere someone, their ideas cannot be bad, and they are never questioned even if they don’t make sense.
• If they sort of like someone, but that person challenges someone they like more, the ideas are dismissed and picked apart, and sometimes even reworded by the group and then accepted, with credit then given to the group. The person is still seen as wrong.
• If they dislike someone, none of their ideas are good, or they’re ignored, or ridiculed for reasons such as stating what is (only now) an abundantly obvious good idea.

(There is some overlap from the execs, where they occasionally consider an idea for its merit and then restate it, which means the idea is now coming from an exec, and is therefore readily accepted. Occasionally the original person gets some credit for this.)

It also applies to pictures of food in the cooking channel. If people like you more, they like your food more, while a professional-looking plate from a social leper gets ignored.

It’s like office politics, but applies to virtually every aspect of company life instead of just promotions, requests, and project assignments. It’s like replacing common courtesy and reason with a social FICO score: your contributions are only acceptable if you agree with your coworkers, laugh at their jokes, etc. And if you appear to like the same music, have recently posted more pictures of tacos or brownies than usual, etc.? Well, you had better do that before suggesting something you actually care about.

It’s social credit.
And it’s stupid.

Intelligence! 😂

Courtesy: Facebook

Special Awards: In a previous life, I employed a South African gentleman by the name of Jack Howell. He had a thing about finding other South African ex-pats, and could often be heard asking people on the phone “Are you by any chance from South Africa?”.

Jack Howell would also do very stupid things. Like forget to come to work. When asked, he’d come up with random excuses - “It was my wife Gwyneth’s fault”, or “I was confused, I took wrong turnings”. Generally, he was a bit of a twat, and had a weird kind of smile he’d give you.

After he left the company, we came up with the idea of having an award for whoever acted the most like Jack Howell on a given day, or week. It was known as The Jack Howell Award. The award itself was whatever shitty thing we could find at the time - a construction made of folded paper and paper clips, or a weird 3 inch statue from a charity shop, or whatever really naff-beyond-belief item we could find at the time.

Where I work now, we have a shitty 12 inch statue of a woman with a dog that turned up in our office, courtesy of our Maintenance Manager. This is the new Jack Howell award. Currently awarded to a senior dev colleague who spent a day chasing a missing variable.

There was a time I made an update on one of our client's e-commerce website sign-up page. The update caused a bug that allowed new users to create an account without actually creating an account.

The code block meant to save user credentials (i.e email address and password) to the database was commented out for some reasons I still can't remember to this day. After registration new users had their session created just as normal but in reality they have no recorded account on the platform. This shit went on like this for a whole week affecting over 350 new customers before the devil sent me a DM.

I got a call from my boss on that weekend that some users who had made purchases recently can't access their account from a different device and cannot also update their password. Nobody likes duty calls on a weekend, I grudgingly and sluggishly opened up my PC to create a quick fix but when I saw what the problem was I shut down my PC immediately, I ran into the shower like I was being chased by a ghost, I kept screaming "what tha fuck! what tha fuck!!" cus I knew hell was about to break loose.

At that moment everything seemed off as if I could feel everything, I felt the water dripping down my spine, I could hear the tiniest of sound. I thought about the 350 new customers the client just lost, I imagined the raving anger on the face of my boss, I thought about how dumb my colleagues would think I was for such a stupid long running bug.

I wondered through all possible solutions that could save me from this embarrassment.
-- "If this shitty client would have just allowed us verify users email before usage things wouldn't have gotten to this extent"
-- "Should I call the customers to get their email address using their provided telephone?... No they'd think I'm a scammer"
-- "Should I tell my boss the database was hacked? Pffft hack my a**",
-- "Should I create a page for the affected users to re-verify their email address and password? No, some sessions may have expired"
-- "Or maybe this the best time to quit this f*ckn job!"
... Different thoughts from all four corners of the bathroom made it a really long bath. Finally, I decided it was best I told my boss what had happened. So I fixed the code, called my boss the next day and explained the situation on ground to him and yes he was furious. "What a silly mistake..!" he raged and raged. See me in my office by Monday.
That night felt longer than usual, I couldn't sleep properly. I felt pity for the client and I blamed it all on myself... yeah the "silly mistake", I could have been more careful.

Monday came boss wasn't at the office, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday not available. Next week he was around and when we both met the discussion was about a different project. I tried briefing him about last week incident, he seems not to recall and demands we focus on the current project.

However, over three hundred and fifty customers swept under the carpet courtesy of me. I still felt the guilt of that f*ck up till this day.

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
What do you code, anyway?

Pvt. Cowboy:
SIR, JAVA, SIR!

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
JAVA? Holy dogshit! Only steers and queers code in Java!! And you don't much look like a steer to me so that kind of narrows it down. Do you suck dick?

Pvt. Cowboy:
SIR, NO, SIR!

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
I BET YOU'RE THE KIND OF GUY WHO'D WRITE LEGACY CODE AND NOT HAVE THE COMMON COURTESY TO WRITE ANY COMMENTS.

Humble Request:
If you are going to close the issue please have the courtesy to share your solution first 😒

I love how the Keybase Linux client installs itself straight into /keybase. Unix directory structure guidelines? Oh no, those don't apply to us. And after uninstalling the application they don't even remove the directory. Leaving dirt and not even having the courtesy to clean it up. Their engineers sure are one of a kind.

Also, remember that EFAIL case? I received an email from them at the time, stating some stuff that was about as consistent as their respect for Unix directory structure guidelines. Overtyping straight from said email here:

[…] and our filesystem all do not use PGP.
> whatever that means.

The only time you'll ever use PGP encryption in Keybase is when you're sitting there thinking "Oh, I really want to use legacy PGP encryption."
> Legacy encryption.. yeah right. Just as legacy as Vim is, isn't it?

You have PGP as part of your cryptographic identity.
> OH REALLY?! NO SHIT!!! I ACTIVELY USED 3 OS'S AND FAILED ON 2 BECAUSE OF YOUR SHITTY CLIENT, JUST TO UPLOAD MY FUCKING PUBLIC KEY!!!

You'll want to remove your PGP key from your Keybase identity.
> Hmm, yeah you might want to do so. Not because EFAIL or anything, just because Keybase clearly is a total failure on all levels.

Written quickly,
the Keybase team
> Well that's fucking clear. Could've taken some time to think before hitting "Send" though.

Don't get me wrong, I love the initiatives like this with all my heart, and greatly encourage secure messaging that leverages PGP. But when the implementation sucks this much, I start to ask myself questions about whether I should really trust this thing with my private conversations. Luckily I refrained from uploading my private key to their servers, otherwise I would've been really fucked.

Another crappy job advertisement this time courtesy of Glassdoor: get spammed to death by job ads.

So it says graduate software engineer but they want someone with ideally 1 -3 years of B2 experience, seriously how is this fair?

Like with my other job ad rants:

What a fucking joke, lol

When the stupidest people on the planet move in next to you and burn nearly everything you own to the ground...and don't even have the courtesy to wake you up before getting out of the building themselves.

Email I received:

"Hi xxxxx!

I just received your voicemail and let you know that I would be sending a email:

Here is a link to introduce myself. Please let me know If I can swing in next Monday or Wednesday to shake your hand and meet!"

My response:

"Hello, zzzzzz.

You did not receive a voicemail from me because I have no idea who you or your company is.

If you meant to email someone else, this is a courtesy email letting you know you have the wrong person, and I hope you have a nice day.

If, rather, this is an attention-seeking sales tactic, this is email is a snarky response, letting you know I don't do business with companies that pull that kind of crap.

Regards,
xxxxx, CIO
zzzzzzzzz"

So Patanjali(aka Ramdev Baba trying to sell you even a fucking underwear as ayurvedic and locally made) released their chat application "Kimbho" and was taken down within 24 hours because of major security flaws.

Some obvious ironies I would like to point out here.

1. Coming up with a chat application with gaping security flaws at this stage when privacy related discussions are happening at every nook and corner, worst move ever.

2. There are elections in 2019 and 1 year would be the right amount of time to gather data on public and start targetting and influencing people. It shouldn't be so obvious and everyone knows which political party Patanjali leans towards.

3. You are promoting an app citing Make In India initiative. You are the biggest Indian based FMCG operating in India, courtesy exploiting nationalist sentiments. Whatever you aim of doing, at least invest a decent amount of money in hiring good developers and designers. If not anything get a content writer who will write you an original description of your app for as low as ₹1000.

4. Promoting a competitor of whatsapp on whatsapp is a brilliant move. Give that marketting fellow a big raise.

5. Replacing the phone icon with a shankh is not innovation. Also, everyone knows about spam farms in Bangladesh and many places in India. So boasting about 1.5 lakh downloads in less than an hour only speaks more about your ignorance and lack of technical knowledge.

6. If you really are promoting "swadeshi app", why are you offering logging in through facebook? I mean even a blind person can clearly see your agenda here.

7. Hike is a messaging app made in India and they are here since long and still it are nowhere near the usage of whatsapp. Selling shit in the name of Make in India is not cool and its high time Patanjali realises this. But then again, it is their only marketting strategy because how else can you sell something as gross as cow urine and that too people buying it voluntarily.

8. If this stunt was carried out to be in the news, well played. You are getting a good amount of publicity, but this time a bad publicity will do more harm than good. People are calling out your bluff and you will get to see the results.

Mr. Baba Ramdev, fraud karo, itna blatant mat karo. India ki public sentimental hai chutiya nahi.

Anyone else flipping tired of hearing: we need more this, more that, more blacks, more women, more whatever, in tech?

We don’t fucking need more anyone in anything.

We just need sane, talented and hard working people to get the job done well. And do that with courtesy to all person.

!dev && rant

> be me
> headphones on
> hands packed with shopping bags

Some old bitch neighbor that I can't stand: oh hi!

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING ME TAKE OFF MY HEADPHONES FOR!?

Seriously. When someone has his hands stuffed with groceries and has headphones on, maybe they don't want to stop, put their bags down, take their headphones off and say no more than another hi. Like not even anything else, just hi and walk away! What's the fucking point!? Making me pause and waste time just for the hell of it? Thank you old bitch.

That's one way to say it.

Courtesy: @Floydian | Prismo.net

Fron the creators of "Hello", I present to you:

Please respond when you read this message
*says nothing*

It's got the uselessness of hello, minus the courtesy and respect some people have for hello. Please just get to the fucking point!

Game over. Courtesy: IG/allindiabakchod

Staying in because I have some really awesome stomach pains this morning courtesy of my time in the wonderful U.S Army.

As such my daughter did not get dropped off at the daycare center.

It is 09:22am. She(daughter)would have stayed asleep till about 10 if we didn't mess with her.

For WHATEVER FUCKING REASON and knowing that my stomach is on a fucking murder spree right now my wife decided in ALL OF HER FUCKING WISDOM to wake her up.

I am so
Fucking
Upset

I really feel for the motherfucker that would today and I am really wishing a motherfucker would.

A programmers address...

Courtesy reddit

Back in the day, it was a kind of unwritten rule that you would ++ the ranter when you posted a comment on their rant... or was that just me?

I just had my first "Group project"-experience and holy fucking shit am I about to explode right now.

I messaged you one fucking week before the project is due and ask for your input that none of you contributed to and if that was too advanced for you imbeciles to handle then HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THREE MORE FUCKING YEARS IN CS. THEN YOU HAVE THE DECENCY TO RESPOND SIX FUCKING HOURS AFTER THE PROJECT IS DUE AND COMPLAIN ABOUT THE WORK.

WELL GUESS WHAT YOU FUCKING WASTE OF MOLECULES, I ALREADY TURNED IT IN AND THE ONLY REGRET I HAVE IS PUTTING YOUR FUCKING NAMES ON THE PROJECT.
I DRAGGED YOUR SORRY ASSES TO THE FINISH LINE AND THEN YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO ASK "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG"?

NEXT TIME AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY TO SPIT BEFORE YOU FUCK SOMEONE OVER

Everyone and their dog is making a game, so why can't I?
1. open world (check)

2. taking inspiration from metro and fallout (check)

3. on a map roughly the size of the u.s. (check)

So I thought what I'd do is pretend to be one of those deaf mutes. While also pretending to be a programmer. Sometimes you make believe
so hard that it comes true apparently.

For the main map I thought I'd automate laying down the base map before hand tweaking it. It's been a bit of a slog. Roughly 1 pixel per mile. (okay, 1973 by 1067). The u.s. is 3.1 million miles, this would work out to 2.1 million miles instead. Eh.

Wrote the script to filter out all the ocean pixels, based on the elevation map, and output the difference. Still had to edit around the shoreline but it sped things up a lot. Just attached the elevation map, because the actual one is an ugly cluster of death magenta to represent the ocean.

Consequence of filtering is, the shoreline is messy and not entirely representative of the u.s.

The preprocessing step also added a lot of in-land 'lakes' that don't exist in some areas, like death valley. Already expected that.

But the plus side is I now have map layers for both elevation and ecology biomes. Aligning them close enough so that the heightmap wasn't displaced, and didn't cut off the shoreline in the ecology layer (at export), was a royal pain, and as super finicky. But thankfully thats done.

Next step is to go through the ecology map, copy each key color, and write down the biome id, courtesy of the 2017 ecoregions project.

From there, I write down the primary landscape features (water, plants, trees, terrain roughness, etc), anything easy to convey.
Main thing I'm interested in is tree types, because those, as tiles, convey a lot more information about the hex terrain than anything else.

Once the biomes are marked, and the tree types are written, the next step is to assign a tile to each tree type, and each density level of mountains (flat, hills, mountains, snowcapped peaks, etc).
The reference ids, colors, and numbers on the map will simplify the process.

After that, I'll write an exporter with python, and dump to csv or another format.

Next steps are laying out the instances in the level editor, that'll act as the tiles in question.
Theres a few naive approaches:

Spawn all the relevant instances at startup, and load the corresponding tiles.

Or setup chunks of instances, enough to cover the camera, and a buffer surrounding the camera. As the camera moves, reconfigure the instances to match the streamed in tile data.

Instances here make sense, because if theres any simulation going on (and I'd like there to be), they can detect in event code, when they are in the invisible buffer around the camera but not yet visible, and be activated by the camera, or deactive themselves after leaving the camera and buffer's area.

The alternative is to let a global controller stream the data in, as a series of tile IDs, corresponding to the various tile sprites, and code global interaction like tile picking into a single event, which seems unwieldy and not at all manageable. I can see it turning into a giant switch case already.

So instances it is.

Actually, if I do 16^2 pixel chunks, it only works out to 124x68 chunks in all. A few thousand, mostly inactive chunks is pretty trivial, and simplifies spawning and serializing/deserializing.

All of this doesn't account for
* putting lakes back in that aren't present

* lots of islands and parts of shores that would typically have bays and parts that jut out, need reworked.

* great lakes need refinement and corrections

* elevation key map too blocky. Need a higher resolution one while reducing color count
This can be solved by introducing some noise into the elevations, varying say, within one standard div.

* mountains will still require refinement to individual state geography. Thats for later on

* shoreline is too smooth, and needs to be less straight-line and less blocky. less corners.

* rivers need added, not just large ones but smaller ones too

* available tree assets need to be matched, as best and fully as possible, to types of trees represented in biome data, so that even if I don't have an exact match, I can still place *something* thats native or looks close enough to what you would expect in a given biome.
Ponderosa pines vs white pines for example.

This also doesn't account for 1. major and minor roads, 2. artificial and natural attractions, 3. other major features people in any given state are familiar with. 4. named places, 5. infrastructure, 6. cities and buildings and towns.

Also I'm pretty sure I cut off part of florida.
Woops, sorry everglades.

Guess I'll just make it a death-zone from nuclear fallout.

Take that gators!

(long post is long)
This one is for the .net folks. After evaluating the technology top to bottom and even reimplementing several examples I commonly use for smoke testing new technology, I'm just going to call it:

Blazor is the next Silverlight.

It's just beyond the pale in terms of being architecturally flawed, and yet they're rushing it out as hard as possible to coincide with the .Net 5 rebranding silo extravaganza. We are officially entering round 3 of "sacrifice .Net on the altar of enterprise comfort." Get excited.

Since we've arrived here, I can only assume the Asp.net Ajax fiasco is far enough in the past that a new generation of devs doesn't recall its inherent catastrophic weaknesses. The architecture was this:

1. Create a component as a "WebUserControl"
2. Any time a bound DOM operation occurs from user interaction, send a payload back to the server
3. The server runs the code to process the event; it spits back more HTML

Some client-side js then dutifully updates the UI by unceremoniously stuffing the markup into an element's innerHTML property like so much sausage.

If you understand that, you've adequately understood how Blazor works. There's some optimization like signalR WebSockets for update streaming (the first and only time most blazor devs will ever use WebSockets, I even see developers claiming that they're "using SignalR, Idserver4, gRPC, etc." because the template seeds it for them. The hubris.), but that's the gist. The astute viewer will have noticed a few things here, including the disconnect between repaints, inability to blend update operations and transitions, and the potential for absolutely obliterative, connection-volatile, abusive transactional logic flying back and forth to the server. It's the bring out your dead approach to seeing how much of your IT budget is dedicated to paying for bandwidth and CPU time.

Blazor goes a step further in the server-side render scenario and sends every DOM event it binds to the server for processing. These include millisecond-scale events like scroll, which, at least according to GitHub issues, devs are quickly realizing requires debouncing, though they aren't quite sure how to accomplish that. Since this immediately becomes an issue with tickets saying things like, "scroll event crater server, Ugg need help! You said Blazorclub good. Ugg believe, Ugg wants reparations!" the team chooses a great answer to many problems for the wrong reasons:

gRPC

For those who aren't familiar, gRPC has a substantial amount of compression primarily courtesy of a rather excellent binary format developed by Google. Who needs the Quickie Mart, or indeed a sound markup delivery and view strategy when you can compress the shit out of the payload and ignore the problem. (Shhh, I hear you back there, no spoilers. What will happen when even that compression ceases to cut it, indeed). One might look at all this inductive-reasoning-as-development and ask themselves, "butwai?!" The reason is that the server-side story is just a way to buy time to flesh out the even more fundamentally broken browser-side story. To explain that, we need a little perspective.

The relationship between Microsoft and it's enterprise customers is your typical mutually abusive co-dependent relationship. Microsoft goes through phases of tacit disinterest, where it virtually ignores them. And rightly so, the enterprise customers tend to be weaksauce, mono-platform, mono-language types who come to work, collect a paycheck, and go home. They want to suckle on the teat of the vendor that enables them to get a plug and play experience for delivering their internal systems.

And that's fine. But it's also dull; it's the spouse that lets themselves go, it's the girlfriend in the distracted boyfriend meme. Those aren't the people who keep your platform relevant and competitive. For Microsoft, that crowd has always been the exploratory end of the developer community: alt.net, and more recently, the dotnet core community (StackOverflow 2020's most loved platform, for the haters). Alt.net seeded every competitive advantage the dotnet ecosystem has, and dotnet core capitalized on. Like DI? You're welcome. Are you enjoying MVC? Your gratitude is understood. Cool serializers, gRPC/protobuff, 1st class APIs, metadata-driven clients, code generation, micro ORMs, etc., etc., et al. Dear enterpriseur, you are fucking welcome.

Anyways, b2blazor. So, the front end (Blazor WebAssembly) story begins with the average enterprise FOMO. When enterprises get FOMO, they start to Karen/Kevin super hard, slinging around money, privilege, premiere support tickets, etc. until Microsoft, the distracted boyfriend, eventually turns back and says, "sorry babe, wut was that?" You know, shit like managers unironically looking at cloud reps and demanding to know if "you can handle our load!" Meanwhile, any actual engineer hides under the table facepalming and trying not to die from embarrassment.

I'm trying really hard not to be sensitive, but my manager is making it difficult with their "constructive criticisms" ...

Just finished up a call with them. And I'm so tired. I'm not even angry or upset, I just feel so tired of their bullshit.

I set up a meeting as a courtesy to get them up to date on all the code changes I made. Last night I stayed up late to try and get things in before the deadline and this morning just killed me when they say.

"I don't think I should have given you this."

"I was right, you weren't ready to start doing this."
(Then don't even bother giving me anymore tasks then, I don't fucking care.)

"you clearly don't understand how branches work"
(Absolutely fucking false, I fixed that shit and am very familiar with how to understand the structure of the fucking repo)

"you are rushing and I don't need you messing up the website"
(I'm being proactive you twat, not rushing, making it very difficult for me to do the work and being productive)

Like seriously bro! Don't fucking patronize me for the work I was trying to get out. And trust me this fucking meeting is done in order to get ahead of potential issues, not a time to be condescending of my skills or lack there-of as you seem to so keenly think.

If you had this much doubt about my abilities then why give me the fucking Sr. title? Fucking trust that I'm being honest, and I'm trying to get us to a good spot, not fucking sabotage the company. God fucking damn.

Somewhere in the svalbard vault where github buried all our code is about two hundred megabytes of pictures of my ass and other pornography stenographically hidden in innocous pictures hosted on github. Why? Because I can.

I did the same thing with stock photography back when I used to be a photographer. If you've used pixabay or a dozen other stock sites theres a good chance you've unwittingly looked at my magnificently sculpted ass (and other parts of me).

Future shenanigans include massive (and unsolicited) deliveries of half finished dildos (courtesy of dildo factory dumpster rejects), public accesible blue tooth speakers put in inaccesible spots, deepfakes of opposing politicians banging uglies, public book burnings not because we hate books but because who the fuck reads anymore?

And orgies, lots of orgies.

Its the end of the world. Let loose with the craziness and party.

Dear recruiters
Please have the courtesy to reply whether my resume is shortlisted or not, I don't want your personally crafted rejection mails, an automatic rejection mail will save a lot of job hunters a lot of time. we have other things to focus on than waiting for your mails.

Incident 0:
1. Saw an interesting job opening
2. Sent the resume
3. Received an email mentioning not qualified.

Incident 1:
1. Saw an interesting job opening
2. Sent the resume
3. Hr scheduled an interview
4. Interview went good
5. Havent heard any thing ftom hr yet, neither positive nor negative.

I hope I dont need to mention the countries in both cases.

If Google hadn't kill Google Play Music, I don't think a single soul would voluntarily switch to it's YouTube Crap Music.
If you remember prior to 2011 the initial plan of Google was to take market away from Apple's iTunes. They initially shipped Amazon music with branded Android OS before the development of Play music.

As a long term user of Play music I'd say "killing the product" was a "bitch move"!
Because Play music is doing really great and you could tell from its reviews and moreover the destination product is quarterly-baked not even a viable replacement in the least sense.
There are more than a million and one problem with YouTube music, currently you would notice your playlist history gets clogged up with your videos when you visit the video web. It's more like the actual YouTube app hiding behind a curtain to mimick a music player. Which is so so stupid and annoying!
As a user all I want from a music player is to fucking listen to music not to watch fucking videos... which makes the app unnecessarily filled with stupid options you never really need.
I understand that monetisation is necessary but please show some fucking courtesy by doing shit with wisdom!

Apparently we're playing musical chairs at work... I work from home for one day and now my chair is missing. If you borrow a chair put it back where you found it. It's common courtesy.

Internet of cloudy stuff. Courtesy of James Gosling

The company I used to work for, despite me not working there contacts me to get a verification code because the crappy developer they hired can't change a couple settings on the apple website and add themselves as a developer.

At the start of this all, a couple months back I gave them the code out of courtesy, but at this point, as i'm heavily invested in the development stage of my actual job as a vr developer, I won't take time out of my day to even answer the phone for them.

But what really pisses me off is the person who contacts me, my assumbly best friend, who during the last 12 months has only called me for these codes, so work related shit or just personal shit and never to hang out or play games or generally what we used to do as friends before he got a job at that stupid company doesn't have the balls to tell his boss that i'm busy with my job, that maybe if payment was offered as an incentive that I would be happy to be contacted.

When I left that company I didn't setup anything to make it so they would have to contact me, all I did was add myself as a developer of their app. I also heavily documented everything I did, all the issues I faced and the workarounds I found, and everything including all login information needed to get things working, I went above just "developing" the app I added in all the credits to all work used in the app as partly to make sure we don't get sued for stealing someones work without the right credit.

I hate the fact that I worked for minimum wage and did all of this shit, but I never complained at all about things like the 1 1/2 hour travel time (one way I might add) to my boss, the amount of money I spent on public transportation, the little money left over that I didn't even spend and instead give to my parents.

They know nothing about how hard that year was for me, and if they want to get this code, my so called friend can come chat in person, in his off time and when I'm done working on my own shit and we can discuss terms because this shit is just not fair at all.

A new system developed at CSAIL was shown to have stronger security guarantees than Intel's existing approach for preventing so-called "timing attacks" like Meltdown and Spectre, made possible by hardware vulnerabilities.

Image courtesy of Graz University of Technology

I know I am guilty of this too, but it gets quite annoying when co-workers just barge in with a "something isn't working" while providing as few details as possible, needing me to ask them multiple questions about what exactly the fuck is it that made them cry.

Maybe it is a courtesy thing where you don't offload too much information in one go, but I wish they'd rather also tell me in what part of the application, doing what, with what input, did they encounter the problem.

Sometimes even I'll also just subconsciously assume a couple of details, only to realize fifteen minutes later that we're talking about two different modules.

Who called it "enabling interrupts" and not "SMASH that button to get notified the next time this hardware goes live".

Courtesy: Twitter.

The biggest problem I see with current state of AI is the feedback loop it creates in people.

For example, some (usually older people in higher positions) perceive long emails as a sign of courtesy, involvement, and hard work. As a result, others have started using AI to write longer emails for them, to get on "the good side" with their higher ups. And now that many use AI to generate longer emails, those same higher ups got used to it and started to perceive short, straight-to-the-point emails as "rude". So even more people are looking into using AI to generate longer emails as they don't want to seem rude. At that rate it's not long until those that rely on AI to write "better" (== longer) emails get promoted over some hard working person who simply doesn't care to write long emails.

Even though AI didn't do anything, it somehow still "trained" people to start using it and even rely on it, and it even indirectly rewards people who use it for completely meaningless and seemingly unrelated tasks. And in a few years, whatever comes out of this will be used to train the next generations of AI, creating even more of a feedback loop that people will be completely unaware of until it eventually crashes onto itself. Because that loop can't be observed in the AI itself, it has to be observed in the people.

I try and avoid making eye contact with people leaving the restroom. Today I accidentally made eye contact and did a courtesy smile. Still felt awkward.

Are we supposed to clap and say "Yay!"?

my manager pings me to get info on stuff he's coordinating with others.
such as, it this possible to do? what's the estimate? what's the flow?
and then he pawns it off as his own input.
and when the information flows back to me, I hear folks saying that he came with this idea/estimate.

maybe it's a typical manager thing to use engineer's input as their own grasp/knowledge of the project. at least they should extend the courtesy of acknowledgement.

So a while back I was contacted by a recruiter, I wasn't interested at first but ended up interviewing and eventually took the role. Fast forward 2 months into the role I get a courtesy email asking how things are going and if I would like a call to chat.
I responded saying I didn't like the role and provided a suitable time to call. I never heard anything back until fast forward another 4 months.

Today I got a REPLY to my email where I said was not happy in the role, and what was the email about?
This guy wanted a favour as they had another candidate and wanted me to provide contact details of a manager to skip the usual HR process.

There are some who view software as a social construct (like Pieter Hientjes), and I think it's a valuable perspective. So if we know about the intrinsic brokenness of software, can we deduce sth about the brokenness of human interactions? Did social API's evolve to similar clusterfucks of dead entropy we have to shovel in our brains to get along?

I think the answer is an emphatic yes. And you know what's even making it worse? Software. Y'know there are all these whining about the millenials, and I too have had my experiences with stuff of that category. Like back when we searched a new roommate for our flat, we needed three rounds because people who had said yes suddenly reconsidered. Similarly now when we tried to sell our couch: people tried to push the price. Said they were interested, never showed up at the appointed time. It's like they have been spoiled by Amazon: expecting to buy with one click, for the cheapest price and send back if they don't like. And that is not a generation thing. Those old blokes ranting on the young are just as bad. They are just as lost in antisocial media as anybody else. It's a general erosion of not sticking to civility and courtesy, to the yes or no once said, coz everything is now as flexible and fluid as the digital projections of ourselves transmitted round the globe, changing in realtime.

I fucking hate it. - I'm out like this stupid Tom Cruise character in Oblivion.

Just got a new soldering iron set for xmas, courtesy of my uncle. I went to use it to hardmod a PS2. Good news: PS2 hardmodded for easy discswap and SwapMagic with original ejector. Bad news: the iron barely made it through that before oxidizing to unusability. Even after I properly wiped the tip off with a damp, clean rag before and during use, it still corroded to s**t in seconds once power was applied. (No, refiling and tinning didn't help. The solder layer oxidized too.)

Soldering irons rust to dust in my hands in seconds. Every time. Even when taken care of properly. f**k me...

Technobabble really bothers me… if I don’t try to overwhelm you with buzzwords and overly complex technical jargon within my industry, then afford me the same courtesy!

Everyone seems to enjoy posting their debuggers so meet the team:
Slash, Classic Duck, Varys, and a Son of the Harpy repainted to look like my D&D character courtesy of my roommate

How do I push a hiring offer to later and say no?

Context:

I work at company A and the manager, let's call her Jane, who hired me at company A, left shortly after to join company B at a senior executive level (very high up the ladder in a public company).

After few months, I decide to quit company A and started my job hunt. I received a job offer from company C.

Now, my relationship with Jane was super awesome. Jane was very supportive and thought very highly of me. She offered to write a LoR (letter of recommendation ) for me whenever I needed it.

Now, out of courtesy and maintaining the relationship, I mentioned to Jane that I quit company A and will be joining company C.

To which she immediately mentioned that she could hire me and setup my connect with one of the hiring managers in her team. We had our initial conversation and they skipped second stage (since I got a very high reference) and moved to final stage of the interview.

Now, I am not really keen on joining this company B as it will also require me to move outside of the country to a different timezone.

At the same time I don't want to sabotage my relationship with Jane and make sure I keep my options/doors open for some collaboration in future.

How do I go about telling Jane (and the team) that for now, I am focusing on joining company C and would like to explore the opportunity with her company/team in future, without damaging my professional image?

I hate all these fucking companies that say "We'll get back to you" after a fucking interview and they never fucking do, gurzle on my fucking nutsack fucking fucktards. Don't they have fucking courtesy to at least say you're out motherfucker, they just never get back to you.

So i bribed a fellow dev/friend who HATES php and Magento... to help me grind out a Magento site while im super behind on a bunch of crap that's mostly boring administrative bs (#ReluctantlyInCharge)

He knew I was coding in python several times over the past several months... yet, despite my near constant griping of formatting bs and high preference of basically anything that doesnt require readability-esq formatting... he apparently didnt get it.

I need to make a quick splash page with a timer on it (other cool elements that i dont think ive ever seen done but i figured why not... weird shit is totally on brand here... like scripting page elements to change and see if people catch on... in very basic ways)...

I know js plenty... but I'd likely have looked up the syntax, was lazy, he loves js (for the intended purpose... he does a lot of blockchain dev) so i asked if hed write me a quick timer line cuz... well im lazy.

He totally overcomplicated it and sends me a page he typed up incl html header. Timer was 3 short block/lines with semicolons... i laughed and wondered why he did all that instead of just the little js... he didnt know either. I told him as a courtesy id make sure to keep the js formatting as he wrote it instead of 1 line...

He sends me 2 examples of a js timer in 1 line... like 1semicolon... i had to show him what i actually meant... 3 'lines' with semicolons on 1 visual line...

He was stunned, then realised i must really hate python

Just saw a video based on the idea : what if the earth was a global country?
A provoking thought. If a 5000 people at google can control 3.5 billion people's data,
can we make a stable democratic government of a million(or more) politicians controlling the whole world's legislature?

Does this thought have a future? Since we are all connected by internet and simply moving towards a global village like environment, courtesy of softwares like fb or what's app, i think we would one day be ready to remove the boundaries .

"But the web will still be full of arrogant, uninformed, polarizing, self-promoting, controversy-creating content that has ramifications no one wants to own up to. And consequently, the web will still be lacking in common courtesy, humility, and the admittance that most of us don’t know best. Which is sad, mostly because it’s true. " - Joshua Blankenship

Self learned. I was introduced to programming quite early courtesy my dad who pushed me to use Linux. At first I learned basics, enough to tinker with stuff. Then I met python. It changed my world. Now I know C, C++, JS, PHP, Obj-C fluent enough and am working on others. But python will always have a sweet spot in my heart. Also, I think python 3 is a good improvement over 2. Not perfect. But good enough and it still has a future.
Working on SQL and Java

The moment I turn off my laptop in anticipation of an hour or two of recreational YouTube binging and then rest

- my Bluetooth headphones run out of juice, courtesy of over 12 hours of semi-constant usage and the fact that I didn't think to charge them overnight

- In a moment of perspective change I instantly realize how to solve the problem I've been struggling with for the past 3 hours, ensuring that I'll keep thinking of work for the following 5 too.

So I just spent 8 hours migrating our git projects from bitbucket to gitlab because SOMEONE thought backups were being done nightly without ever actually checking. Of course the only backups to be found were well over a year old and the fucking bit bucket licence expired ao migration was entirely fucking manual... CHECK YOUR FUCKING BACKUPS, FUUUCCCCKKK!!!!! At least have the common courtesy of putting something in place to report on failing backup procedures.

Oh and another thing: FUCK YOU ATLASSIAN! RIGHT UP THE ASSE WITH A RUSTY, RABIES RIDDEN, AIDS INDUCING PITCHFORK SIDEWAYS! Who the flying fuck names their repos numbers? Thanks for nothing you mind numbingly incompotent apes...

On a cheerier note, how's everyones day been?

New toy for my desk courtesy of raygun.com :D

Starting a new job tomorrow. Haven't worked in more than 6 months, but did some leetcoding in the meantime. Problem is, I don't miss programming. I think I would just like a boring job for a bit, something not in the tech sector. Don't know why, I think I'm disillusioned with it. People with egos and lack of basic social skills/courtesy, bullshit work... I really hope this one's going to be better.

One more day at this stupid job, so called project lead doesn't have courtesy to say hey that's not part of the requirement