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How do I push a hiring offer to later and say no?

Context:

I work at company A and the manager, let's call her Jane, who hired me at company A, left shortly after to join company B at a senior executive level (very high up the ladder in a public company).

After few months, I decide to quit company A and started my job hunt. I received a job offer from company C.

Now, my relationship with Jane was super awesome. Jane was very supportive and thought very highly of me. She offered to write a LoR (letter of recommendation ) for me whenever I needed it.

Now, out of courtesy and maintaining the relationship, I mentioned to Jane that I quit company A and will be joining company C.

To which she immediately mentioned that she could hire me and setup my connect with one of the hiring managers in her team. We had our initial conversation and they skipped second stage (since I got a very high reference) and moved to final stage of the interview.

Now, I am not really keen on joining this company B as it will also require me to move outside of the country to a different timezone.

At the same time I don't want to sabotage my relationship with Jane and make sure I keep my options/doors open for some collaboration in future.

How do I go about telling Jane (and the team) that for now, I am focusing on joining company C and would like to explore the opportunity with her company/team in future, without damaging my professional image?

Comments
  • 3
    Tough cookie
    Is the B option completely off the table?
  • 3
    You already accepted when Jane asked for it.

    You could have said no back then and it would be easier.

    Now that person did make some effort to get you inside.

    Maybe that person will respect your choice no matter what.

    Invite her for a diner and explain some stuff ?
  • 3
    Just be honest and straightforward, no reason it will damage your relationship if you are precise in your speech
  • 2
    @PaaPsik

    1. It's in Singapore. While it's a great country to be in, I am optimising for UK, EU, or within my same city.

    2. The domain does not interest me at all.

    3. While they went public some time ago, the brand name will not add a lot of value on my resume.

    4. The HM mentioned, during our early connect, that there is some process challenges they are facing and they expect me to come solve those.

    I am more interested in solving product challenges than process ones.

    I don't think money wise it would be an issue for them or any skill mismatch.
  • 2
    @Grumm

    >You could have said no back then and it would be easier.

    This is the mistake I did. As soon as I mentioned her that I picked an offer, she rushed towards asking my email and setting up an invite with her team, all in less than 5 minutes for me to even think.

    >Now that person did make some effort to get you inside.

    Yes, and that is where I feel guilty and feel that declining could negatively impact my relationship with her.

    >Maybe that person will respect your choice no matter what.

    I am sure she would understand my situation, but at what cost?

    >Invite her for a diner and explain some stuff ?

    I would definitely, but we both are in different countries. Invitation would be expensive for me :)
  • 1
    @bioDan hmm I am still thinking on how to structure my wording.
  • 5
    She wont get offended if you change your mind, if she would - be happy that you did not accept, and happy if she would understand.

    It is your life
  • 4
    Thanks her for the opportunity and decline the offer.

    If you appreciate the person, honesty is always better.

    Explain why you don't want to go the company B. (with tact ofc)
  • 1
    There is absolute nothing wrong with declining an offer, no matter how much work they've put into the process. And let's face it, they already know you're in a process with company C, and for all they know you might be looking at other companies as well. That's just how it works and is nothing nothing nothing to feel bad about. And it's certainly nothing for her to be mad about. She'll with 99% probability just say "ok good luck" and be happy with it.

    You can put it however you want, "thank you for everything, but after careful consideration I've decided to go with another company", "this seems great, but I feel I'd fit in better at company C" or "this really is a great opportunity, but I've come to realize I won't manage the relocation". But whatever you decide to say, just be honest. If you're not you will most certainly regret it and possibly ruin your relationship for real.

    This is just how getting a new job works.

    Btw, did you specifically say yes I'll take the job, or did you just say you were interested?
  • 2
    "I thought a lot about it, I evaluated all the options and I realized that company C better suits me"
  • 1
    @ScriptCoded good points.

    When I announced to her that I resigned from company A, I mentioned that I accepted the offer from company C and was in loops with Google, India and another ex-colleague from company A was referring me to Spotify, London for his team.

    So Google and Spotify was known to her. And then she was like, "I'd hire you immediately."

    Out of politeness, I said yes.

    But an update right now is that I dropped her a note and said that company C better aligns with what I am looking for.

    @crisz yes, that's exactly what and how I mentioned it.

    @Linux I agree. That's how I am looking at it as well.

    @Zysce yes, I did that.

    @All thank you for the guidance and help. It did help me settle this one out.
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