Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
@retoor it happens to me also. people reply to the texts of others but not to me. it's like there's just something about me
interestingly it only happens with irl things and not online things
it does feel very like you're not even considered human by people. I have a hunch of what it could be but not enough information to solve it. I just give bad vibes to these people probably and then they discriminate
it's kind of funny also. I spent years as a kid pathologically lying and I can do it on reflex sometimes when a stranger talks to me. when I do that I'm beloved as well, extremely charismatic. I also do well meeting new people and on job interviews. it's just when I'm me suddenly people hate me. I don't smile, I don't have the same interests, I don't pander uselessly around relatable topics. I just basically keep socializing to a minimum. and if I say anything honest then it means war, so I say nothing
probably it's a component of schizoid... -
@Nmeri17 hmmm yeah. I got sick recently and forgot that I used to try to act normal.
it's this weird thing where if I'm myself everyone thinks I'm fake, but if I fake act like them then they can never believe I was being fake... talk about demoralizing lol
when I got sick everyone ditched me. my brain degraded so the "pretend to be normal" subroutines stopped working. I totally forgot. ran into a video on schizoid and got confirmation on it. I always had a hunch but never connected it so much. it's just basically, if you were neglected as a kid you don't develop emotionally, and become hyper self-reliant, and find closeness to others uncomfortable. of course as an adult people don't like that, and see it as weird, so then you get all sorts of social cohesion issues.
I can act charismatic perfectly fine, but it does take brainpower. some schizoids don't try to fit in, but I can be very charming... it's all fine until I'm honest! talk about depressing, lol -
@retoor hmmm I don't think people keep me at distance for coming up with new views. you think cuz bipolar mania?
manic people (more schizos) bug me for other reasons:
1. they text wayyy too much so after a while you get sick of them
2. they can get aggressive because they're very sold in some idea and I'm too socially tired / sick of them or just not sold on it (I'd need time and they go fast fast fast), and this can make me avoidant or outright annoyed when they're being too pushy
3. if you reject them / ignore them they go kind of crazy. like will go to public places to type about you for 2 months and then start hallucinating every person they meet is an alt of you kind of crazy. so then it's like Jesus fuck I guess I should lay low lol, and then I don't ever wanna befriend them again even if I maybe liked them as people because all that is kind of way too much
---
people changing opinions doesn't bug me as long as they acknowledge the change. normal people do not. feels conman -
changing opinions on something irrelevant is funny
if it's important tho then that would cause trust issues. then I just won't "depend" on that person. I'd view them as flakey
but normal average people are excessively flakey. like they want X but then forget about saying that, they'll suddenly have some context because they want something out of you but then that context is never relevant again, etc. most of the world functions like this. you just don't put trust in them and preferably not become nihilistic
like someone makes plans and doesn't show up, says they'll do something then falls off the face of the earth. literally 90% of interactions are like this. I had one guy want me to make him something and I wrote up a design document. 2 weeks later he just stopped replying. literally the most common interaction
what's worse is when people make promises or emotional gestures then nada. am I to keep you honest for you? 🤷
but that's just the common person -
@retoor idk
I don't think people I've known over my life were upset at me changing opinions. people were upset that I moved on from video games I talked them into very fast tho, but that only happened if I invited them. I was done with the game by the time they were really getting into it and bonding with it
tbf not big on friends. they tend to do something that ticks me off so I cease talking to them. also 90% of people I meet are just dudes who want to get in your pants... even on the internet which is pretty ridiculous because they can't even see me and I keep saying I'm not on the market
talked to that NL guy again, unblocked him and he added me and I wanted to send him a funny meme. he started saying how women should screw incels, in a giant rant... blocked him, unblocked him later and he said he wanted "social energy" from me. ok. then proceeds to post a porn gif of a dog fucking a woman and tells me that's what I'm worth. typical experience -
@retoor no he doesn't behave
raafhhh I need friends. this guy at least smoked weed and coded. and I could make fun of him for believing in UFOs and he kept wanting to talk about Ukraine vs Russia war (granted, disrespectfully because he viewed me as a Putin sympathizer or something)
it's like bargain bin crap tho. his attitude is so hostile
I found a place called the asylum and I liked that but I got kicked cuz incels existed in there
whatever -
@retoor WHAT DOES Z MEAN
My colleagues excel at envisaging shit extracurricular activities. It may not be so godawful irritating if they weren't hypocritical scum, all of them but ESPECIALLY, the girls. When you're sick, nobody checks on you. When you text them, they don't reply. They only initiate conversations to get something. They are never friendly except they need a favor and have run out of options. You can't borrow more than one 1k naira from any during an emergency. Then they force you against your will to oblige them
Last year, they came up with this crappy cook fest assigning dishes each staff is to cook and present like some science expo project. I declined but participation was enforced. Things went sour with the caterer I recruited. Work that day was a living hell for me, I eventually had to leave
Next, they devised an end of year dinner, instead of converting all that money to a much needed 13th month salary or even bonuses. Thankfully, attendance was not compulsory so I and one other girl could exempt. Why would I buy/borrow dress code costumes at such short notice, to assemble with a bunch of people who think I'm crap?
This year again, they roped me into this dumb "love feast" program for valentine. I was livid and incensed. I stormed the inbox of one of the male instigators and gave him a piece of my mind. This scoundrel literally shakes my hand irl like it's covered in poop. Nowadays, he waltzes into my office without the courtesy to greet me. I'm so inconsequential and insignificant. He ordered me to delete the messages, implying he might leak them like the ex hr once did. Of course, I refused
The girl they paired me to buy gifts for doesn't reply my chats. I literally sent some that morning but she had the audacity to walk up to me and tell me what she wants me to buy her. It's our bosses fancy mug and my next seat buddy immediately tells me how crazy expensive it is
They've all got read notifications turned off. It's not even creepy messages or require deep thinking or lengthy replies. It's just not being regarded worthy to be communicated with. These are the people I'm going to spend a dime on. They don't even TRY to pretend I'm a human being. Literally don't talk to me but everyone else plays with each other. Personally, I'm not a gift person. I NEVER buy myself anything unless it's an absolute necessity. So why would I rack my brain, go out of my way to get you some shit you aren't even going to appreciate? It's a waste of money and intentions. They claim it helps with team bonding. I'm sore and bitter cuz that is a lie. Those interested in each other go home together, outings, sleep together, reply each other's messages. They don't need some formal carnival to do any of that
Messages are the most basic things. It's utterly insulting cause everyone always has their devices holstered. They respond to the boss instantly when tagged on the group. Any act of not communicating directly, is both deliberate and a passive declaration of war. So why drag me into your annoying shows? Do your clique thing however you want. Leave me the hell out of it
rant