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Instant rage.36 -
FUUUCK! AAARRRGGGHH!
My colleague just typed 20/20 in a calculator😨 and he didn't believe me when I insisted that it was 1😭22 -
When someone beats the level of stupidity you thought was possible.
No, when you request a Let's Encrypt certificate, you DON'T fill in YOUR OWN NAME in the "Common Name" field 🤦
Also, it explains right next to the fucking field that non-experienced users SHOULDN'T ALTER THE FUCKING VALUE.
😷23 -
"could I get admin privileges to reboot this server?"
Sounds valid enough, right?
OH YEAH SURE, YOU'RE A TINY USER ON A HUGE ASS SHARED SERVER, OF COURSE I'LL GIVE YOU ROOT ACCESS TO REBOOT THE WHOLE FUCKING SERVER.
Worst part, he didn't understand why that would be weird.
Can I buy a little common sense somewhere for this guy?27 -
Was watching 'Johnny English Strikes Again' when I discovered a secret message in the movie.
Guys, MI7 is hiring C programmers!
11 -
Me : I'm having a pretty bad headache.
Boss : Stop acting like a girl and get back to work.
Me: It's a migraine headache.
Boss: Ohh!! You know it's just in your head stop being a pussy. Don't think about the headache, and you won't feel any pain.
Me(in my head) : You fucking idiot you are partially correct it's in my head. But the pain won't stop if I stop thinking about it.
*Why the fuck does no one understand a neurological disease. If i'm not physically hurt, it doesn't mean i'm not in pain*
Fucking ignorant bastards.13 -
"Your stupidity is so vast that its value can only be stored in a double, because a float has insufficient range" - John Byrd
This insult is from one of my personal favourites and must be one the best programmer insults ever since it is backed up with programmatic proof written in valid C code.
You should really read the post, it's only one of the many gems in there.
Source: https://quora.com/What-is-the-harde...
3 -
When you are resetting your password and the website emails you your current password in plaintext. 🤦5
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"I am not happy with the quality of the product"
*Ignores
"I dislike how I am forced to work here"
*Ignores
"The team does not understand software design and is writing 2000 line single functions"
*Ignores
"I am starting to think the product cannot be saved unless we start focusing on quality"
*Ignores
"I am not happy in my job anymore because I want to work as a professional..."
*Ignores
"All I ever do now is put out fires"
*Ignores
"I quit"
12 -
"Git is useless, connect to the server and edit the pages" - My boss, 2019
And beleive it or not, he's also a teacher. What a great and wise man, we should build a statue for him!8 -
Today is deadline day. So my Project lead decided to remove a key column because "it wasn't necesary".
He didn't tell anyone about the change and no commit message explaining it.
When confronted by the whole Team about his stupidity. His excuse Was: "I didn't know we had a deadline".
Holy badger fucking horsecum guzzling excuse of a potheaded flat earther!!!3 -
Disclaimer: non dev related.
So I went to a festival today. What is the most stupid question you can ask at a festival?
And the winner is
And the winner is...
'why are you sweating?'
THE WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?!?
DETAIL ONE: I'M AT A FUCKING FESTIVAL
DETAIL TWO: I'M DANCING MY ASS OFF
DETAIL TWO: EVERYONE IS MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUUUUUCK DANCING.
Mother of god, stupidity knows no fucking boundries 😲20 -
Boss: Every one of my employees is underperforming. What should I do?
Catbert: You should fire yourself because you're the only common variable.
Boss: I hadn't considered that.
Catbert: That's how I know I'm right.
...credit~ dilbert.com -
I told these people that this issue would happen. Did they listen? Nooo
It'll be fine, they say. We likely won't be having that much data returned to the front end, they say.
Day of the install. Web Application attempts to query 68,000 rows of data straight into the web page.
*Surprised Pikachu face* when they are consistently getting crashed browser tabs.
And now everything gets pushed back and we're behind by an entire month because they didn't heed my warnings.
Oh, and now I have to pick up after them, and do some stupid work arounds that will likely be defunct in a month or two. 🙄5 -
I got a LinkedIn message from the HR from my previous company about a job opening as if I never existed and never met them before. I'm just a profile to them.
Stupidity level: HR11 -
I just got this message, until now I thought these pictures are fake.
Looks like I have to start this app, if i want to be ready in time 😄
Human stupidity is an infinite loop...
23 -
There is code reuse and then there is stupidity. This npm module has 4 dependents and 2 dependencies.
18 -
I just discovered that you can tap the title of devRant app to load new rants instead of just scrolling to the beginning to make a pull to refresh :( FML10
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Product manager: build us a recently viewed and bookmark feature!
Younger-Me: But every browser already has a bookmark feature and a recently viewed (history) feature and its much better implemented with much less overhead.
Product manager: I don't care. Give me this feature, you are supposed to do as i say and bow.
Younger-Me: I'll take it as a challenge.
--- two weeks after feature is deployed ---
Product Manager: 😁 See! Many users are using the feature we built *shows me messages from subscribed customers*
Me: 😨 I'll never underestimate user's stupidity again.3 -
Yesterday my father called me and asked if I'd have a look at his website to exchange his logo with a new one and make some string changes in the backend. Well, of course I did and hell am I glad I did it.
He had that page made a few years ago by some cousin of a friend who "is really good with computers", it's a small web shop for car parts and, as usual costumer accounts. Costumer Accounts with payment infos.
Now I've seen a lot of bad practices when it comes to handling passwords and I've surely done a few questionable things myself but this idiot took the cake. When a new account was registered his php script would read the login page, look for a specific comment and add a string "'account; password'," below into to a js array. In clear text. On the website. One doesn't even have to breach the db, it's just there, F12 and you got all the log ins.
Seriously, we really need a licensing system for devs, those were two or three years this shit was live, 53 accounts... Now I've gotta decipher this entire bowl of spaghetti just to see if he has done any more unspeakable things.4 -
I believe that sometimes my IDE should tell me : FuckingRetardException : Man, wtf are you doing. Go fuck yourself
😂😂😂1 -
I'm going to make 4 statements of which only 3 are true. You tell me in the comments which 3 are true.
1. At my job in the marketing department, I manage our Facebook ads campaign where we spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in advertising.
2. MIS department inexplicably blocked the marketing dept from the Facebook domain altogether near the end of the day.
3. They also block Dropbox although we still have to manage all the distribution of digital video and commercials to our tv advertisers.
4. I work in a technically progressive environment that understands how things work online.2 -
Internal support article to get access to a tool:
"To get access click 'NO' in the 'was this article helpful section' and open a support ticket, making sure to mention the tool you are looking to get access to"
What fucking fresh hell is this? Why not have the article, contain the fucking link to open the ticket.
You have intentionally put up a useless article, in order to hack your way around this stupid system.2 -
I didn't actually realize anyone could be this dumb. Sure, I'd heard stories, but I wasn't sure that I'd ever come across this level of stupidity in the wild. I was moving email across hosting accounts for someone, and I asked them to please navigate to a certain domain. Then they asked what navigate meant, so I told them to please type it into the URL bar. They said "OK." 5 seconds later, they said, "Which one do I click on?" They googled the url. So I asked them to please type it into the URL BAR. Then they asked what that was.
...like what? I just told you this yesterday. How fast does information fall out of your head? Do you forget where your toilet is when you wake up every morning? How do these people even function in society?
-_-8 -
In web technologies lab.
Friend copied some php code from some website and saved it.
Tries to run it and it just prints whatever he wrote.
After thinking for like half an hour he calls me.
Friend: hey u know php right? Why my code is not running?
I check the code in the editor and everything looks fine except he saved his php code with an extension .txt 😑 😑2 -
Opening somebody else's code(11000+ lines in 2 js files) only to find a 100+ "var a" declarations and naming conventions like var chart1, var chart2. Best part? Not a single comment. Even better? The one who wrote the code doesn't remember what does what.3
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So we outsourced a system.
It was the most stupid thing we could've done.
It's my job to make it fucking work.
5 -
Do you want to really annoy the hell out of someone?
Prerequisites:
1. JIRA account for you
2. JIRA account for the victim
3. JIRA app on victim's phone
Instructions below:
1. Create a ticket and assign / add victim as watcher.
2. Open your favorite IDE or editor with any of your favorite projects with lots of files with minimal sizes.
3. Drag the folder and drop into JIRA ticket window.
4. Enjoy 😎
Don't ask me how I figured this out 😁6 -
Oh the irony: one of the e-banks I use, forces users to type their passwords via virtual on screen keyboard (javascript based!!!) due to security 'standards' yet in the same breath doesn't allow a user to use any other character for password besides the basic alfanum.. o.O fml4
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OH MY GOD DID I JUST HEAR A .ai DOMAIN ON THE RADIO?!
this can’t be happening.
It’s such a buzzword that someone spent the millions required to get the tld ALREADY.
sudo save planet —from stupidity10 -
Received a call from client complaining about stupidity of google analytics. He could not get pass Terms and Conditions page. Saying "I agree" button is faded away and can not be clicked.
He just needed to scroll the page down.
What happened to people nowdays?2 -
Colleagues talking among themselves about gods, form of higher power, etc.
Colleague 1: *to colleague 2* So you believe in superhumans?
Colleague 2: I believe in God.
Colleague 1: *to me* What about you?
Me: Yeah. Superhumans exist. I have to deal with them everyday. Because stupidity levels that high aren't practically possible in normal humans.2 -
Cpanel and plesk is just two newly invented words that means the following:
Anger
Insecurity
Hate
Stupidity
Virtual AIDS
"I am pretending to be a sysadmin"6 -
Oh my fucking god I deserve to be shot for my stupidity.
I spent an hour in absolute fear trying to figure out what was wrong with my PC - it would boot but the monitor wouldn't show anything.
I'd forgotten that I'd changed to monitor to show HDMI input - but I was using a HDMI-to-VGA converter so the monitor should have been set to VGA input :/4 -
Back in College, I knew guys who when asked for Github profiles for an interview, signed up for Github and submitted their profile links.
Genius!
#BackInCollegeSeries -
Dreamt I was writing code for work last night, pretty sketchy stuff. But then at some point I woke up, and in my daze panicked thinking that I'd actually written that code. So when I fell back asleep, dream me was working on fixing all the issues that I actually had never writen. Woke up again, worried about if I had left everything well, and realized my stupidity.
I need some days off... 📴2 -
A 520MB CSV file with 29 columns and no headers.
If it's not an impertinent question, why in the name of Satan's magnificent testicles would anyone do that?
I hope their pig dies.13 -
Me: Hey boss, if you ever need someone to get into doing DevOps related tasks for the team, I'd be more than happy to take that on.
Boss: We don't really need any dedicated person to work on that, but if we do in the future, I'll let you know.
Fast forward a few days: I am now unable to deploy bug fixes to our testing environment, now in the cloud, because all access has been blocked for everyone except the two numbskulls who thought it'd be a great idea to move EVERYTHING over (apps, configuration manager, proxies, etc) first.
Oh, and this bug is affecting production.
3 -
Found an issue where my double click event was not functioning correctly, so I added a break point and then it diddnt work at all... its taken me an hour to realise that if I breakpoint the click event, of course I'm never going to fire the double click event...2
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So this PR company hired my firm to convert their client's Wix website to WordPress to have better control over content and SEO, not to mention get away from the piss-poor "absolute position everything" setup of Wix. This is a single page design. 2 days later, we deliver it, performing faster than Wix and with a few extra goodies on the UI.
The client's director of IT wants to stay on Wix, because it's "the most secure provider", and will only move their ONE PAGE INFORMATIONAL WEBSITE to another platform and host if they answer a 133 item "security questionnaire". Short of SSNs, they want to basically know everything, including our proprietary and confidential security practices. You aren't Google...stop acting like you are...
How are people this stupid a "director" of anything?3 -
I am so sick of the stupidity and illogical reasoning of clients.
Client: Descriptions are no longer syncing. Can you please fix.
Me: Problem fixed and deployed.
Client: All the descriptions got overwritten by the sync descriptions. Can you please have manual uploads overwrite the descriptions that sync (but basically auto guess what the client wants). We may need a toggle.
Me: Toggle added.
Client: Can you go through the 100+ sites backups and restore all the product descriptions?
It's like are you serious right now!!??
Back to the cheeseburger concept here...
Client: Can I have a cheeseburger (comes with pickles, onions, tomatoes, lettuce), no pickles. A Coke? Oh, but I would like pickles on my cheeseburger.
Tender: Here is your order.
Client: Why did you put pickles on this!!?? I asked for NO pickles!
Tender: You added pickles towards the end, so we put the pickles in.
Client: No! I thought you would have known based off of my original statement that I asked for a cheeseburger with no pickles. That is the override!
Narrator: See how illogical things can get. We can't just assume/guess based off of illogical reasoning.3 -
Explaining to my boss why we can't use the WordPress theme he saw on Theme Forest in an Android app7
-
Well the clown strikes again,
How do u break production and a testing environment in one night?
One full month preping for same thing that revolves around one config file and assured us he was confident,
He wasn't
he managed to fuck it up so bad for the team d brass lost d plot,
I'm not one for condemning people but my God Dante's inferno woulda had an extra ring if he worked with this buck,
The stupidity has shattered my belief in sunshine and rainbows -
Boy do I love when Snapchat sends me a snap telling me happy father's day.
I don't even know who my father is but thanks for the reminder assholes.
I wonder what dipshit thought that sending everyone on Snapchat messages during all sorts of holidays that not everyone celebrates was a good idea.9 -
I watched today one of our devs working in Windows with a Docker Environment.
I think I'm pretty insensitive regarding pain, horror and morbid stuff.
But damn. I really needed to turn off the stream or else I'd walk to the company and rip his fucking workstation out of the server rack to put it out of his misery...
Errors? ignore them....
Weird python messages? Ignore them...
wild copy pasta between notepad++ containing shell commands and a git bash... Per mouse context. Yes. Move the cursor, mark the text, right click, copy, go to terminal, right click, paste.
Understanding of whats happening. Zero. Like literal zero.
He was wondering why there were strange characters when he pasted log output in a text file...
My question: How do you think colored text works in a terminal environment?
was answered by : "Don't know, never thought about it. But don't think this has something to do with the weird characters?"
I don't wanna talk about the rest.
Retarded humanity can please kindly kill itself so the intelligent above average nice people can live in peace...
The meeting was 2 hours. I drank 5 bottles of beer after it in1 hour and I'm please to announce I'm forgetting large parts of what has happened.
Cheers.8 -
On a 5 hour bus ride for which the company advertised that they have WiFi. Technically they did, it just didn't seem to be connected to anything. (it was but it was unusable). I tried logging into the router as i always do and one default "admin" password later i was in.
I didn't want to mess up anything too badly, however i did change the wpa password to "YouShouldMakeThisABitMoreSecure"5 -
I hate one guy in our office!!! 😡🤬
He is a very toxic person, but that was ok (more or less) till today.
Today I have had a videocall with a new team, PM and client, because I have ended the previous project and has been moved to a new one.
And this asshole has taken a purple pony(!!!) and touched my face with it few times while I speak with other persons via webcam!
I just lack of words to describe all my emotions about this situation 🤐
And he thinks it was funny!
9 -
Fix my depression
Learn C++ properly
Fix my life's future
Try to pick up a relationship which I've dropped out of stupidity again.6 -
WHAT FUCKING PAYMENT PROVIDER SENDS ALL THEIR TECHNICAL STAFF ON VACATION?!?!?
Leaving customer service to tell me to "wait until they get back... In three weeks"
Unbelievable, I'm actually thinking there are laws and regulations about this if you are providing money handling services, but the sheer stupidity in itself!!2 -
Spotify premium ad: "Subscribe to Spotify premium and you can skip any number of songs you want. We won't take it personally."
Actually you do!
What I skip and what I listen through tells your machine learning what I like and what not. That's how it builds my listening profile.
So your (software's) opinion of me directly depends on what and how much I skip.
(I expect that skips from people skipping often to have less value than from seldom skippers.)
That sounds like the definition of "taking it personally"!7 -
Rant:
Why in the freezing cold all people think that linux = secure. Ransomware... Bla bla not happening on linux bla bla... Linux is secure.
If Linux would have been the most popular one people will pretty much run everything on root and install every stupid package available and never run: apt-get update.
Users were so dumb they got scammed by a phising mail... In freaking 2017... This is user stupidity not OS fault...
God its stupidly annoying seeing the same stuff : Linux secure...
Everything can be secure if you paid attention to the same stuff in freaking 2000.30 -
Typical interaction in any XDA development thread:
User: How do I put these ROMs on my phone? Plz halp!
Me: ROOT -> flash RECOVERY -> enter recovery -> flash ROM -> flash Gapps -> profit.
User: How to get the roots? Can halp me?
Me: You're in a Nexus forum. There are directions on how to root everywhere.
User: I can't find. Plz halp.
Me: Fastboot oem unlock, fastboot flash recovery.img, flash SuperSU, flash ROM...
User: Where I can get fastboot?
Me: *link to Google developer's page*
User: Can you just tell me?
Me: No, you need to figure it out, so you know what you're doing.
*2 hours later*
User: HALP! I use toolkit for to get roots, and now phone won't come on! How to fix?! Halp, halp, halp!
*5 minutes later*
User: bump
Me: Looooooool11 -
I dont get it why big it companys in germany still use fucking Internet Explorer and then complain about errors that are not even produced by our application. What the actuall fuck just stop using ie6
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Pro-tip to self: Getting syntax errors on your If-Than statements? Try using If-Then instead!
*facepalms at own stupidity* -
Another case of "devs too stupid to poop" TM.
We had a funny discussion today.
Topic came up that a project using Lucene was incredibly slow.
Then came the yadda yadda of Java bad, Java sucks, Java bla Java blub in the gossip mill.
Both things irritated me, last thing was just the usual "I want to use new stuff cause I wanna be a cool jackass" trouble.
So. Today meeting. We did quick analysis by pair programming.
If I tell you that a whole team managed to review an PR, give it green light...
Despite the PR using the thread safe Lucene IndexWriter in a non-parallel fashion for large bulk inserts?
The whole problem screamed parallelization.
Yeah. If you ignore that scream and implement it in a sequential fashion, it is slow.
Congrats Jimmy, your retard level is off the charts. -
Me, being a lowly junior dev, had the honor of being in a same group chat with a big corporation devOps team.
Finally ready to play with the big boys!!
*opens chat*
DevOps 1: "so we need to remove the CSS cache from our clients computers."
DevOps 2: "ok, well... just delete the server cache"
*watching in awe as they all try to figure out why it's not working*
This continued on for a while...
Until my boss had enough laughs and giggles and put an end to this stupidity :D1 -
Had to hand in as assigment for my algorithms & data structure course and really put alot of work into it, commented code, easy to understand and all.
"Why are you showing me copied code from the internet?" was the professors answer...
I did not copy any code and some algorithms often look the same...6 -
Had a customer call - the guy's name was "Kevin", which in Germany isn't even a name, but rather a diagnosis for stupidity. However, he was really competent and into the stuff. So what now, readjust my prejudice? Nah, he had an Asian family name, so I instead learnt that being of Asian ancestry trumps "Kevin" as given name.2
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Just checked a pr I need to take care of tomorrow…
“Please review [other pr] first, this solves a bug the other one introduces”
…Ah yes. Stupidity.
“Already tested by QA, accept without comments or job will be wasted.”
… I need a vacation or a megaphone to make someone deaf by screaming in their ears again and again: “follow the fucking processes instead of making QA preapprove your shitty code.”2 -
What would you do if your colleague did not believe in vaccination, thought carbon dating was wrong, we didn't go to the moon, and wanted to buy you a drink?
I've practically stopped drinking at company functions, simply to keep my distance. I'm afraid stupidity might be contagious...35 -
Wow. I feel kinda bad!
I just raged at someone for removing a feature, that disappeared because I CHANGED my config file.
I just feel stupid... Wow.22 -
I know i keep ranting about the same fella, but hes so stupid its DevRant Gold, He's so stupid we are highly considering making him work of this so he cant do any more damage to the project,
7 -
Aaah! Another cup of stupidity on this sunny Friday! 🍵
I just received a csv file with usernames, emails and passwords in plaintext for 1500 users.
Apparently that's what it means to "integrate with our database"5 -
Don't get mad / frustrated / angry at stupid people, you're just punishing yourself for their stupidity
-
Fuck safari literally nothing does what it's supposed to do, I have a `document.getElementById('x').innerText = "hello there"` but it sets a totally different element to that text, this is apparently because of display: none although JS should NOT look at css wtf.
There's a whole bunch of these issues but I won't rant about them until I've solved them so I can fully explore the depth of stupidity in safari. If you work for apple and developed WebCore or WebKit, I'm sorry but I hate you and you would be better off shipping with lynx.3 -
I guess I'm taking the piss.
I just spend half an hour wondering why a unit test failed; turns out all calculations were done correctly, just that -5 + 3 was being calculated and the test expected the solution to be -1.
Well, -5 + 3 does not equal -1 and I'm too stupid to add.
Half an hour. (-_- )2 -
So we've been working with a VM at a university course I'm taking during semester break. Keyboard layout was QWERTY instead of QWERTZ, and I'm not used to the first layout, but no problem, I can fix that.
Or so I thought.
So I spend nearly half an hour trying to configure the VM to use the desired layout without altering the Ubuntu instance that much - only to then suddenly discover a small USA flag in the corner of the panel bar which could be changed by clicking once to the German flag.
This also changed the keyboard layout instantly.
So, yay, I guess. D:5 -
f**king people asking to design admin panel colorfully with these f**king psd images, I was like literally crying inside, I have never seen such a damn f**king admin panel. f**k off managers
5 -
Am I the only one who feels offended by the stupidity of who feels offended by the term "master" in GitHub?11
-
There is a fuck-nut moron developer in my team who's been driving me crazy. I end up having multiple conversation with him on the same problem; I give him the solution; he nods his head and then makes the same mistake he made earlier.
I really want to help him learn and grow, but one can only tolerate so much stupidity before giving up.4 -
NOOOOO ITS RIIIIISIIIIINGGGGG
Please help stop this stupidity, it's inceased by 5 MILLION since last time I checked...
4 -
Sorry !dev-related, But:
In our grocery store there‘s a 0.5L coke for 0.99 under that there‘s a 1L for 0.98 and around the corner there’s a 1.5L coke for 0.99
WTF?8 -
THIS FUCKING RECAPTCHA GEM! WHY THE FUCK MUST I DEBUG YOUR FUCKING PRODUCTION CODE AND WORK AROUND YOUR FUCKING BLUNDERS?
VERY LITTLE PISSES ME OFF MORE THAN SUFFERING FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S FUCKING STUPIDITY5 -
I write a thesis about some data mining project.
I need to process 15 million tracking points - today I finally finished coding my algorithm. I was pretty excited and pressed run:
Now, after 2,5 hours of processing, my program got already through a third of all tracking points, as I realized:
I gave my algorithm a non-valid output path.
And that thouht stuck me, as I was already on my way home.
Now I have to go tomorrow (on my day off) to work, to fix and run it again.14 -
Client request: POST /user/login
Server response: "Login working bitches"
Client: if (response === "Login working bitches"){
//sign in
}1 -
Height of stupidity.
It took that person 16 sets of new batteries to conclude that the remote is defective.2 -
End user when criticizing a developer for 'taking long' to create something of value from scratch:
(4 hours later): "What's taking you so damn long? Are you retarded?"
Oh I don't know, maybe I have to make sure that tests in my code run well, maybe I have to evaluate everything to meet the custom satisfactions of the user for his ever-so-custom requirements and I also have to make sure I discard what they don't like? And maybe it takes time to deliver a quality product, and so on?
Or would you prefer I deliver an untested product that I didn't bother to think about and I haven't bothered to make sure it matches with their requirements?
What end users don't understand is the involvement in a quality product.2 -
so the bank has decided to charge me for sending me the sms notification for the sms- notification-charges
makes sense 🤨 ?
7 -
Sent my changes before everybody for code review, got git blocked because today was demo day, and ... And asshole guy merged his own PR without code review. That conflicted with my PR. I am going to start posting the shennanigans of asshole guy from now on, just to have a record of his stupidity.
10 -
Just had a User asking to recover something from her Deleted Items folder which is where she puts things she wants to read later. Seriously! I thought this was a joke but people really do do this! The clue is in the name: "DELETED Items". Aargh!1
-
Im so fucking disgusted with the paternalistic superiority complex so many techbros have.
They see themselves as the new elite priestly class, protectors of the Sacred Tech, convinced everyone else is too stupid to handle themselves.
The answer to stupidity is not to keep people in the dark, enforcing only more stupidity. What a dismal worldview. Treat other humans with respect and dignity and they will surprise you.6 -
Don't you hate it when politicians and newscasters talk about Google's, Facebook's, whatever's algorithms without really knowing what the word "algorithm" means?
A few years ago, only few people knew the word existed, and now you find people going around, saying things like:
"I don't know why YouTube recommended that video to me. 'Their algorithm' must be mad."14 -
Had a coworker who made an export program, which should run one time every 24 hours and create and export some files.
He made it with a timer, that ran 24 hours before doing anything. Which meant that when he made changes to the program, he would have to wait f***ing 24 hours to see the new result.4 -
The amount of stupidity, innocence, ignorance and indifference in the facial expression is just amazing!
There should be an emoji with this face.
8 -
I once had a client that lived near by and I had setup a server in his office. One day he calls me begging for help because it keeps turning off... He put it in a sealed foam box to try to reduce it's noise. Temps were 80+ Celsius (176f) within 5 minutes of it booting.2
-
Have you ever been this frustrated?
when you have a ton of bugs to resolve and short deadline to catch and suddenly you get infinite git conflicts because of your co-worker's stupidity..
1 -
mfucking piece of garbage.
filth could be cleaned, but that mess can onle be purged by a supernova along with the galaxy.
when you explain a whole fucking week to someone that the goal is to have an adaptive algorithm that detects a version and handles different versions in an best effort principle....
YEAH.
YOU GET A LIBRARY WITH HARDCODED VERSION ENUMERATION AND NO ADAPTIVE ALGORITHM AT ALL.
For fucks sake, the stupidity of devs drive me insane.
So lets start from the beginning, best send them back to kindergarten, so they learn that a square is not a circle.2 -
I hate when people ask you to find their deleted files. Fucking people! It is like asking an architech to recover something from their trash bin. People are idiots that don't want to learn. Some people think that they know a lot of computing and barely can power on they monitors. At this level of average stupidity, people should get licenses to use computers.7
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Team Meeting with Senior senior manager(SSM) from headquarters.
Post lunch break (casual talks)
SSM: You all people in this office live in luxury. Each and every door has a security guard to open and close the door for all of you. HQ doesn't have these.
Me: So, does it mean that there are no doors or no security guards at the HQ?
Everyone in my team with a very big facepalm. Manager telling me not to get high after having the lunch.
Footnote: All my colleagues and my manager often tells me that I get high just by eating food.4 -
I read a lot about people that think that millennial are the most entitled and demanding group of people. The more i work in technical support, or any Client based job, i know how it's an half truth.
Truth is Older people usually are WAY worse. Can't fucking make a decision by themselves, i always have to CHOOSE their fucking language. How can you so stupid, you can't figure out which language you want you computer in... You don't know which language you talk dumb fuck? (Not talking about keyboard layout here, you can imagine it's even worse! But at least i know why somebody that has no technical knowledge can be confused)
I have to take them hand by hand because they can't figure out how to read... Younger people usually just say: Okay i'll try that! Thanks! And just hang up, no fucking dicking around on things i don't know what they are doing or why they are asking. They are rarely the fuckers that want to talk to a supervisor to get free repairs and returns. Entitlement at it's best...
Stupidity and entitlement have no age. Period.9 -
Dear Microsoft, why, just why did you put config files for 64-bit application in System32 while putting config files for 32-bit application in SysWOW64? WHY?
It is like Microsoft is fooling everyone by making such stupid things. Regardless of which excuse they have, this is just an extremely stupid design.15 -
I used to like web development. But i got sick and tired of every client expecting a website in a $200 price range.6
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Wondering why your form isn't submitting any data to the db.
Spending half an hour checking all POST-Variables and functions in your script multiple times to see if they give the correct values (they do).
Finally realizing you wrote 'INSERT INRO' in your SQL statement.
Questioning your intelligence for the rest of the day.6 -
Why are some people just so dumb? Not specifically with programming or development but just in general. How have we not reached a point where everybody has a substantial understanding of common sense and ethics?3
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Saw new issue on jira. When look, they are like my computer is slow or I cannot any buttons in Excel.
For fuck sake, don't send stupid tickets, we already got stupid projects the company took from the others without consulting to the IT team.
There are about 600 tickets every month and most of them are issue because of their stupidity not the software (they never read the error message). And no we are not IT support, go ask those ppl for your computer issue.1 -
I was looking up for a bug in my code that caused a fail in one of the test.
Hours later I found that negative integer division in python is just stupid and -1 / 10 = -1.
The sad part is that -1/10 != -(1/10) contradicting the associative property of multiplication over the real numbers.
FUCK YOU PYTHON.12 -
"What is your project status? I need an update!"
So spoke the team leader. I was mildly hesitant about just rudely leaving work - which I was about to do, I was literally halfway out the building - without answering and delaying to Monday.
My project leader - the one that is supposed to look after me and my project every now and then - is on vacation. He's also the one, who is supposed to update the team leader.
It's not that we don't talk regularly, apart from his questions every two months or so, he is informed about my project on a bi-to-tri-weekly basis whether he wants it or not.
The team leader on the other hand seemed quite uninformed about my project.
Wouldn't it be nice if people would fucking talk to each other?!
Other than that, I'm learning C# for roughly six months now and today was the day it all started making sense. OO is a concept that is hard for me to grasp - I understand it, but I continuously failed to implement it. (That I have no regular code review right now isn't helping.)
Today, it just clicked.
I feel kind of stupid and in awe at the same time right now. :D2 -
My biggest obstacle? Stupidity, laziness, willfull ignorance, procrastination.
Sometimes my teammates are the ones guilty of these things too. That, and impossible timetables, but that's par for the course for pretty much all of us.
4 -
people that answer a question with another fucking irrelevant question should have a special place in hell !!
why dont you just answer the fucking question when in the first place i asked you politely and nicely !!
the question doesn't even deserve a fucking follow up question in the first place !!
you've wasted both our time with your stupidity!!8 -
Yes, thank you motherfucker. Please change the fucking specification again one fucking day before the deadline.
These project managers and clients are like little children who can't decide whether they want a lego set or a video game for christmas except little children don't blame santa for their own stupidity.
Guess what? I'm not santa fucking claus and can't do miracles in one day. It's on you little project manager children if we miss this deadline.1 -
As a team lead, what would you do if one of your direct reports sent obscenely bad code for review? Like absolutely nonsensical, non-working, touching wrong parts of the project, doing wrong things… Terrible even by your company's standards.
Would you consider it an instance of stupidity? Tiredness? A resignation letter? An insult? A cry for help? A combination of those things?10 -
So I spent over 200 hours recovering a raid array because the the business that hired the company I work for tried to do all the work in house. Now I'm to the point of trying to quote a new server setup to the company because the last one got hit by lightning. My quote $8000-$20000 in just hardware alone. If im going to do this I want to do it right. Twin servers running xenserver holding virtual machines with a high-quality Nas to hold the virtual machine. Then have the vm's being imaged to two off site backup devices in two different locations and a cloud backup. My boss comes in after me talks to the guy in charge and tells him all that is needed is one server holding all storage on it just like the last server that died and one off-site backup for $4500. How stupid can someone be who has been doing this for over 20 years? Oh btw the software running on this server will be 911 dispatch, jail records and the database for fine payments. The sheriff making the final call me and my boss are meeting with him tomorrow if my boss tries to undercut me I'm going to tell them both that if the same shit happens next time they can spend the time themselves trying to recover stuff because I done the over 200 hours in just short of two weeks.11
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Know what really grinds my gears? The fact that at many companies, PM's and QA people aren't required or expected to have even a basic level of knowledge, making communication pretty unpleasant. Even having a grasp of relevant vocabulary would make things so much easier.
Combine this with the bedside manner of a barn-raised sociopath, an ignorance of human and technical capabilities in general, and we have several good reasons to stay at home "sick". What the hell do I keep getting myself into?2 -
In the 10th circle of Hell, we find those developers whose UI components move just as you're about to click/tap them.
Amongst other things, these accursed souls find that, when they go to sit down on the bog, a millisecond before their arse makes contact, the whole bathroom inexplicably moves 14 inches to the left so they actually sit on the handle of the brush.
Or they go to open a door, and just as their fingers are about to touch the handle, the handle is magically replaced by a live wolverine.2 -
Fuck you. Fuck them. Fuck everyone. Fuuuuck. I hope and dream of the day people become programmable cyborgs or stupidity is spliced out genetically. Or someone invents an implant that disables the vocal cords when stupid'O'meter goes to the red. Or a system that paralyzes the body temporarily as a fine for stupidity. Or an AI that takes over once shit is approaching unacceptable levels. SOMETHING! Some kind of an incentive for the fucking sheep to develop their little raisins. FUCK!!!?!?!!5
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This is my #wk110 about a project from when I was a real n00b. It can also be read as a rant about myself.
So I decided to code my own terminal based password manager. Because, you know, whom can you trust the most; yourself or some random password manager from the internet?
Obviously, encryption plays a major role when storing such sensitive information. So n00b me decided to go with Base64.
Base64.
I developed a password manager that stores your passwords in Base64 format.
What must I have thought?!
Perhaps the gibberish looks of Base64 encoded data made me think that this actually is encryption.
After having realized my stupidity, I quickly replaced Base64 with AES and more recently I completely rewrote the whole project which is now also available on gitlab: https://gitlab.com/bitteruhe/sesame
This act of stupidity still embarrasses me every time whenever I think about it, though. -
When I see people using online tools to test the strength of their passwords I laugh at their stupidity 😭32
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Looking for next book to read:
*Googled "Mythical Man Moth"
*Realized that it auto corrected to "Mythical Man-Month"
Ever since I heard of the book I pondered what the hell the title could mean, thinking about analogies of devs to moths...
I've never felt so stupid and disappointed at the same time.1 -
"In a closed society where everybody is guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity."
― Hunter S. Thompson -
Back at <biginternationalorg> I witnessed a developer deliberately build an xss vuln into a company web application, so that he could plug a JS file in with all of his passwords hardcoded. Bear in mind, this is an org that provides services to both the UK and US military, and if you have access to some stuff you have access to the tools you need to impersonate high-ranking military folks.
I know its like, twenty different passwords, but that's what a goddamn keychain is for! If you don't trust windows keychains, do what I did and run a VM with a Foss keychain installed! Don't build a vuln right into a public facing web app, that's just stupidity. -
When you finally have some servers racked and configured in VMware to build a lab environment for the team....
But to access VMware you need to run citrix receiver from a mac to launch Chrome on Windows to access the VMware ESX Web UI but only on the HTML5 version as Flash doesn't work....
Now to spin up virtual machines that you can only upload via ova images but not locally cos that tries to show you the Windows citrix local files....
Do I even dare ask if I can access this via API so I can actually provision this with Ansible like I want too?! -
Goto the play store and look for a flashlight, you'd find thousands of apps.
So what's the big idea? Well the big problem here is the whopping millions of downloads each one of them has
Let's assume there are a 1000 flashlight apps and I assure you there are!
1000* 1 million users... Either that or people exist with weird fantasies of collecting flashlight apps11 -
Gives an award winning VR idea to our 'Digital Manager'
Says it's too hard for us to do ( it wasn't ) , goes out and pitches it to another digital agency for 'Help', ( mainly coz of the freelance commission )
They go ahead with the idea and make their campaign with it.
we don't get anything. no credit, nothing.
I wonder how the hell someone become a manager with that much of stupidity.2 -
The urge I always feel for proving that I'm not as selfish, arrogant and costive as I look sometimes, specially when I'm trying to explain my colleagues about the amount of stupidity I find in something they've done.2
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So i moved house a while ago and noted down the root admin's username and password along with all the critical directories including root db location and slapped the sticker onto my personal cloud.
I Just haven't gotten around to set it back up again.
So there's that...
4 -
Oh man. When I look for a job after I'm done with school, I need to watch out for those "pay-per-line" bullshit contracts. More lines? Everyone can do that, but it will cause inefficiency just for the money. I could make a fucking Python Hello World program have 100 needed lines if I wanted to, but why would I? More lines = more typing ≠ more work.3
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N'other story of my completely idiotic classmates: So the teacher was gone for some time and has left us soldering. And I end up having to go to the other classroom where the other half of the soldering stations are. And I had to take my glasses off cause of what I saw! SOME DUDE WAS PUTTING SOLDER INTO THE HOT AIR STATION! RIGHT INTO THE NOZZLE! His reason as to why?!
IT mAKeS nIcE LittLE sMoKE pUfFs wHEn He tURnS tHe AiR oN.
God I wanted to shove a soldering iron down his throat for such an act of pure stupidity!1 -
-----------Jr Dev Fucked by Sr Dev RANT------
Huge data set (300X) that looks like this :
( Primary_key, group_id,100more columns) .
Dataset to be split in records of X sized files such that all primary_key(s) of same group_id has to go in same file.
Sde2 with MS from Australia, 12 years of 'experience' generates an 'algo'. 70% Test case FAILED.
I write a bin packing algo with 100% test case pass, raises pull request to MASTER in < 1 day. Same sde2 does not approve, blocking same day release.
|-_-| What the fuck |-_-| Incompetent people getting 2x my salary with <.5x my work2 -
Some """friend""" of mine asked me help because he has trouble installing WAMP on a Linux distro.
Me: why don't you try to install a LAMP server instead, you are on Linux, you can do whatever you want.
Him: LAMP is not a thing, this doesn't exist, there's no package called like that.
Me: *sends a tutorial to setup a web dev server*
Him: You are so unhelpful, why are you disrespectful like that ?!?
Me: *having some murder thoughts*
Why do I still reply to these people ?4 -
Here is my day.
1. Mac wanted to perform an update.
2. I said Okay, Do it.
3. It took sometime, I thought WTF let's force reboot.
4. Shit happened. I am unable to boot as install is corrupted.
5. Reinstalled a fresh copy. I didn't have a backup.
6. Realised that my two days of work is gone since I haven't pushed the code to github.
7. Found out that I made a docker image with all of the latest changes.
8. Now trying to decompile and rewrite the code from the jar in docker image.10 -
Why would anyone use -1 for true and 0 for false in a database.
Booleans people!!! FFS
Making migration of old project a real PITA4 -
Agile my ass.
What has become of: "Individuals and interactions over processes and tools"?
A fuckton of rules and processes to do it the 'right' way: tickets, estimations, hours of sprint planning. Yeah, we're so professional we no longer have time to write code.
Note: manifest was mainly full of fluffy business buzzword bullshit (effective sustainable excellence), but one thing resonated:
>Simplicity--the art of maximizing the amount of work not done--is essential.
(I cherish every line of code deleted or unwritten, so it needn't be maintained)4 -
So company x decides that they're depreciating their REST API v1 in favor of v2 which came out like 2 months ago. But I figure: "I'm okay because I use their official Python module". Well v1 went offline two days ago and they still have not updated their own library to work with v2.
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My sister is 8 and here's what she told me a couple of days ago
My sis: I can't watch youtube!
Me: yeah, the intranets down.
My sis after 5 min: Google is not working.
This just proves that 1-2-3 graders don't know a fadoodle of what the internet is...3 -
Go rubber duck. Seriously, for the people that don't know:
If you're stuck with a particular problem just try to explain the code out loud to yourself, a coworker or said rubber duck. Having to actually put the whole thing into words might give you insight into something you've not noticed before!
Disclaimer: cursing at yourself for likely stupidity is not only allowed but encouraged!1 -
Whoever the fuck in windows decided it is a good idea to start doing a 24h+ repair on an external hard drive which doesnt even have the OS, on boot, should burn in hell.
God. I cant handle windows and its stupidity even for the 1 hr i use it to play games.19 -
lecturer teaching us ASP.NET in the final year of degree: Are you guys familiar with a foreach loop?
(we've been studying C# for the past 3 years and are advanced students)
me: -facepalm and leaves the class-2 -
Around three months ago in a meeting regarding a new end2end test for a product :
PO: We have a full feature stop, only bug fixes are coming until we can unify all products.
Me : So I can use any selectors without worrying the whole thing breaks with the next update?
PO: Sure.
Last Thursday :
PO: Yeah, we gonna overhaul the entire UI with the next release to get better UX.
Why would any sane person reinvent an entire product thats already scheduled for discontinuation in 2018? And how is it possible that a few months ago nobody knew anything about it? Are they using fucking tatot cards for management decisions?1 -
If you're a recruiter approaching people on linkedin then don't be a fucking idiot and waste their time, get to the fucking point damn it!
No one's interested in going back and forth with you over email especially when you have their number and could be done with it over a phonecall.3 -
Three syntax elements, pixels on screen.
By Unknown (for privacy), 2021
In this installation, the Author's desire to prove the whole world that stupidity is achievable with just 2 syntax elements is... self-evident!
Observe! The finely crafted letters composing this installation in their beauty! While the middle element is purely a distraction (one could argue it's there to be sure a critical issue doesn't happen even if the default value is already `true`), the sides of the installation reveals the true horror.
As the vision of the observer is attracted to the center, the peripheral vision sends the informations to the subconcious, making the observer slowly realize both that the Author willingly compiled `.less` files with postcss and that .less files are in the css folder, proving that stupidity is demonstrable in just two syntax elements.
A masterpiece.
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You so are fucking stupid!!! You don't fit in this team because of your stupidity! For one get a fucking grip on life will ya and stop with the money thing the only thing you say is money this money that.
Second fucking learn the view the world with logic in mind, if some things don't work on websites that you designed than your knowledge of websites and the web in general is to low to begin with!!1 -
You know those Jolly go lucky fucking always happy and usually slightly retarded ppl?
Yeah those, try having one of them thinking you're a free tech hotline..
My head hurts from all that brightness and stupidity that person emits -_- -
I have spent days trying to solve a windows 10 installation problem. I'm so pissed off at my own stupidity.
All I had to do was unplug my main hardrive with Ubuntu installed on it because of course windows doesn't play nice with other operating systems is being installed.
I only need you for games windows 10! Why be so fucking difficult!17 -
Our Other it team asked me to create a new repository instead of a new branch in my project just cuz they thought branching would be more time consuming than maintaining a separate repo for emergency bug fixes.
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For awhile now, my hopes for humanity just being in a rut, soon to receive some motivational kick in the rear or the helicopter parent trend, skyrocketing over the past ~20yrs giving rise to snowflakes and seemingly imminent social\financial doom, keep going steeper downhill.
The overuse and\or reliance on, both term and tech, AI has been particularly disturbing and painfully ironic...
Seems it's overwhelmed my, typically instant, reslisations of severe head-scratchers that have nothing to do with AI and even, apparently, denote actual honesty and effort employed.
today, within moments, quickly scrolling on eBay i found 2, new to me... which is quite rare, perplexing 'wtf's.
1. a laptop clearly stating, multiple times, reiterated, not copy\paste... that not only was it lacking a hard drive... but "no hard drive cable"...
my mind briefly tried to figure that one out
... even considered searching yheir several other lots to see if they typically included the "hard drive cable" or if they were often denying customers of this clearly standard component.
2- see pic
it was so soon after the 1st find that i briefly considered that i was missing something... aside from faith in humanity, nope.
that said, i do respect their blunt, bold\capslock committee to transparent honesty.
7 -
I may be getting evicted due to landlord stupidity but at least I survived budget cuts and get to keep my job after internship. The full-time job offer will be emailed tomorrow
Two interns got cut but at least I and another intern survived.
But sadly now I have to go over my friends work and learn what they were doing well enough to continue it with the other survivor1 -
If I die within the next week, please know it wasn't stress but people annoying me to death with their infuriating mix of ignorance and stupidity.2
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Rant about my stupidity.
*Deep breath*
For a full day I've been trying to get the desktop environment on my fresh Arch installation working(on a spare laptop).
Guess what? I was running startx instead of startxfce4 and wondering why isn't xfce4 starting.
Guess I have more such stupid acts to be encountered.2 -
I had a half our discussion the other day with a projectmanager about the menu. He wanted to have both inpage anchor links as well as normal links in the main navigation. I found it completely stupid and didn’t get why you would want this. It’s totally unexpected behaviour from a users perspective and tried for 30 minutes to convince him of his stupidity.
Afterwards i gave in, sure, i’ll make it your stupid way. The actual pages that are there now won’t be visible anymore but if this is what you reallllllly want: sure.
Yesterday he came with a remark: the pages that used to be there can’t be reached anymore.
Always trust your developer -
Had an AI course in my 3rd year at uni.
Well turns out, we learnt how to reproduce a switch case in prolog.
Hated it. Felt raped by stupidity. Missed 3/4 of classes but was still better than most at reproducing switch lol.1 -
If you want to see the level of stupidity some indians have, see the reviews on snapchat's android app on play store in the last day or two.7
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I am sometimes thankful for the stupidity that non tech people carry with themselves. It's because of them I can make money and survive.5
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I'm having to use MS Word again today, and yet again I want to punch my computer in the balls, and frankly I could pull a better piece of software out of a pig's arse.
So there is a feature that automatically adds up the figures in a column to give you a total. Useful, right?
No. Because the total doesn't update automatically. There is even a setting somewhere to have it update before save, and when you turn this setting on, it sometimes updates before save depending on what mood it's in.
You can have it reliably update before you "print to pdf", but not before you "save as pdf".
Fine, there's probably another setting buried somewhere that actually works, but why the fuck is it not turned on by default? What kind of moron wants an automatic total that doesn't update automatically?
I first encountered this feature about 20 years ago, and in all that time none of the thousands of developers at MS has thought "this is shit, let's fix it."
But that's what a developer does, surely. They look at things and say "this is shit, let's fix it".
If you've been looking at something that's so obviously shit, and so easily fixed, for 20 years and not had any urge to fix it, you're not a developer, you're a cretin.
The stupidity cries out from the earth for vengeance.5 -
The stupidity of a post box service marketed for digital nomads that requires proof of current address.
Which fuckwit thought that through?3 -
From now on, if I'm gonna have to deal with emojis fucking everywhere, I opt to use them to best describe the two greatest diseases of the modern age:
Apple and google.
Anytime they make their products worse, or do something stupid the response should be
#shitapple
Or
#💩🍏
This sign, brothers, shall be our banner! our labarum against the forces of the corporacracy and mediocracy. and with it we will go forth and conquer!
Unite against the forces of stupidity. Our weapons will be humiliation, degradation and hobbyist projects like arts and crafts, freestyle poetry aka slander, and casual arson (actually dont do that last one).3 -
I had to switch machines in class. To continue working on my project, I needed to install 17 gb worth of Unity 2019 bullshit. Guess what? They removed the progress bar in the move to Unity Hub. Now I just get "Installing..." This seems minor, until I don't know if I'll be working in two minutes or two fucking days. What the fuck, Unity? Why would you remove a fucking progress bar?2
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What the fuckiing piece of fucking shit is fucking wrong with fucking windows....I have been trying to login to windows after a few months(had dual booted with Ubuntu)....it's been fucking 4 hours and it still has some updates to do and I see the fucking following message on my fucking screen....wtf wtf wtf wtf..... frustration is uncontrollable
4 -
Biggest hurdle overcame in development career - is to work with morons and not fighting with them.
Before you judge me, let me explain a bit. I had the pleasure of working with a lot of really nice and intelligent people in this industry. But along with them, unfortunately, I also have experience in working with really slow and stupid people. For instance I had people in my past who has asked me to create document on how to ssh from a Linux machine or create a bucket in AWS or gcp.
In my early days, I used to get irritated a lot but now I am moron resistant and does not react very quickly on their stupidity. -
Two idiots, one keyboard. The creators of this clip demonstrate a level of technical stupidity I didn't think was possible.
https://m.youtube.com/watch/... -
Today I wasted hours trying to do a HTTP POST request by using a query string in the URL. After some hours I realised what I was doing wrong. I'm so stupid.2
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They say only 2 things are truly limitless. The universe and human stupidity.
I disagree, the universe might have its limits , but human stupidity does not.3 -
This happened about 2 years ago. My colleague at work, who's a kind and smart soul was actually yelling at the phone. Before that nobody had heard her yell at anyone, let alone a client.
The history was that she found out that the client sent her falsified official documents and she confronted him about that, so the idiot client started laughing then yelling that she had to be 'on his side' since he hired us as consultants. That's when she started yelling.
How can anyone be so cynical?
This is also our job to save your moron ass from your own stupidity.
If she didn't found out and the documents sent to the government there would be a lot of trouble for everyone especially the client.
After that we all comforted her and told her she did right. Unfortunately the client wasn't fired (a friend of the boss) but of course we all declined to work with that client again.1 -
I absolutely love it when C# programmers who never learnt any language outside of their bubble discover C# is not the most feature up-to-date programming language. I am honestly annoyed by people who can read Java syntax but can't read ML syntax (because it is too 'clever' to be used in production). What a bunch of mediocre COBOL programmers!4
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Here's the description of java.lang.NoSuchMethodError from https://developer.android.com/refer...
"...Normally, this error is caught by the compiler; this error can only occur at run time if the definition of a class has incompatibly changed."
Now, what are the chances of your app crashing on customer's device because of this, when calling an OS function, VibrationEffect.createPredefined(VibrationEffect.EFFECT_DOUBLE_CLICK)? In my case, it's 50/50. Lesson learned Google. try{}catch{} around every line of code from now on to deal with your stupidity.4 -
A coworker needed to check the number of users for brand. So he selected all rows from users table and then used php's count function. He released this piece onto production.
Later that day he asked me if there's a problem with the production env because his code is working on local.2 -
Only four things are infinite , The universe, Human stupidity, The no. of functions and properties in CSS and JS, AND WINRAR's TRIAL PERIOD......
11 -
I just bumped into a javascript problem that exceeds the stupidity of previous ones:
Because promises can be retained after they settle, and handlers attached thereafter are pushed on the microtask queue, a promise rejection can't be asserted to be unhandled until the promise in question is GC'd.
Of course this is nuts so engines will conclude that a promise rejection is unhandled if there are no handlers at the moment of rejection.
I hate this language.10 -
oh my, this guy was a serious joke. This was 3 years ago at a company I just joined and this guy should have had more than 10 years of experience.
He was a frontend developer and I had to explain to him how to create a hamburger slide-out menu with jQuery.
He got laid off a couple of months later and now his title holds "senior" developer... I feel sorry for his colleagues that have to deal with his stupidity every day now6 -
Aaarrgghh! Stupidity of some webdevelopers! Ordering new battery on e-shop and got in my mail devilery report from one freemail service. Checking what kind of spam it is and those lazy bastards are taking my full order and sending it with my e-mail addresses in From to their freemail account. Which correctly rejects it based on SPF as the freemail suprisingly does its job well. Who the hell thought this would be a good idea? Grrrr!2
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Turns out there was a 50-car pileup on a highway near LITERALLY FUCKING NOTHING TOWN, USA. Worst until today was 5.
Amazing what an inch of ice'll do.5 -
No wonder it’s hard to hire devs with even a basic level of competency or some kind of promise that them might be able to learn shit given time, opportunity and guidance. The sheer amount of idiocy and stupidity and straight up incompetent cringe I witness on every platform giving us devs a voice (yes, including here) is mindboggling…4
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Deployed an hotfix without going through QA. Not the worst, but against what I like to do.
And there was time, a long time ago, when tests were a luxury... I know stupidity at its purest 😅1 -
My Mac SSD got fried, so started setting up Ubuntu 16.04 on another system for the time being. Who the fuck says just Windows has problems!! Ubuntu can be, and most of the times is a fuckin nightmare!! And its a fuckin LTS release, for fuck's sake!! 😣8
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Why hospitals,trains,banks and others use this stupid vulnerable OS called Windows and why the hell they need to be connected to the public internet?
Heck I even think Microsoft does one hand with hackers.8 -
Talking about stupidity, my friend on whatsapp even share his bank online transaction on his stories, I told him to be careful with those sensitive information, but he's ignoring it.
I think he more care to show off his "bulge-wallet" than protect his own money.
Find anything stupid than that?9 -
After months of trying to help someone by working late with them, teaching them all I could, showing them why a bug came up, i eventually got annoyed at the stupidity and asked them to "engage their brain". It doesn't seem big but I imagine how they must have felt.3
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Well my expert developer friend asked me why 'bugs' were called 'bugs'....
Personally I told him STFU cause he had to ask such an important question when my headphones were on, nevertheless 'bugs' are getting old now, let's just refer to them as 'problematic, chronic, death causing errors often caused by a stupid typo'3 -
Spent like two hours trying to figure out why my react native app is showing a TransformError... Went to stackoverflow.. Github issues.. You name it.. None helped...
Turns out I had missed a fucking comma when importing stuff from react-native2 -
Spent sometime looking for questions to answer on StackOverflow for the first time in around 2 years... Mother of God the questions have gotten even worse - and there's even more of them.
Quickly decided to leave it for another time, with the level of stupidity out there I kinda get why almost all the regulars have become assholes.3 -
Why is 99% of my development job responding to audits, security questions, and idiocy spewing from something called an “Office of Innovation”? So this Innovation team sends down a project request which is silently intended to push my resource allocation over 100%. Security shoots down the idea. Innovation team tells me to tell security no, we need this. Ummm, here’s a thought, why don’t you idiots all get together and tell me when there’s some coding to be done?1
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0. A good comfortable chair, one that does not hurt my fat ass and back
1. GPUs, lots of them so that I can train my models faster
2. Patience to endure the stupidity of people3 -
Advice: always be thankful when you are the idiot because it is easier to change being stupid yourself than changing the other parties stupidity. Example: you can fix wrongly using a 3rd party SDK, but you can most likely not fix internal bugs in the SDK.
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Why the fuck is everyone behind this whole privacy thing . I mean what did you expect , servers do cost... you know . No one wants to provide you a service to chat with your shit collecting butler in the adjacent room unless it's going to benefit them .
Stick your face on the internet and want people to date you ?
Understand that your virtual social needs need to be supported by a ridiculous amount of electricity and man power which wouldn't be required if you could just throw out your rotting willie nilles in the open .
All this isn't fucking free .. wait were you shocked ? Oh so you just thought there were a few thousand servers powering buckets of pictures of horse poop that you for some reason thought your girlfriend was interested in . NO!
IT'S PRIVACY you are paying with your gaddamn privacy !! Information pays just like the time you paid a 100 bucks to the boyfriend of your girlfriend to find out more details .
Ridiculous . You people don't like ads . You don't like paying . You don't like providing information . THEN DON'T USE THE DAMN INTERNET .
IF YOU'RE REALLY THAT CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR PRIVACY THEN SPEND SOME VALUABLE TIME TO ACQUIRE ENOUGH OF A SKILLSET TO SETUP A VPN AND STOP POSTING YOUR PHONE NUMBER ON YOUR EX'S WALL ASKING HER TO CALL YOU.
One more honest thing to rant about is ads . As much as you hate them they're an easy way out . I'm not sure why a 20 second ad would bother you on mobile and not on television and I'm not sure why you wouldn't buy the ad company and shut it down if 20 seconds were so costly to you .
I want to rant even more on uninstalling services like Windows and Google for stupid reasons but I'll take a break here . My frustration has touched low levels.13 -
I like C++, but it is seriously easy to do fucked up things:
class Test{
public:
Test(){};
};
Test test;
Test* test2 = nullptr;
Test& test3 = *test2;
Test* test4 = (Test*)0x12345;
Test& test5 = *test4;
Test* test6;
Test& test7 = *test6;
No warnings at all. I wonder if there is a flag for this kind of stupidity. Here's your sign...11 -
!devRelated
The new youtube challenge, eating tide pods, is showing the stupidity of humanity on a whole new level.. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU9 -
A lecturer just told a class of final year developers approx 50 people that commenting our code should be banned and we shouldn't write comments within our code in case we cause confusion2
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Product owner said don’t allow decimals in markup and we disabled decimals. At the 11th hour she said well what I wanted was for them to add decimals and we round up and save the rounded version. They initially type in 20.6 round up to 21 then calculate the percentage. And you refresh the page markup now says 21% not your original value. How is that even smart.4
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"Hey before we launch, can you reintroduce that bug you fixed on Friday? The other team needs it for debugging."
Why the fuck would you need debugging code in production and why the fuck do we want to readd something that was causing problems? Shaping up to be a great week already. -
Why is it that when your making a perfect clients website he requests a really hard job 2 do, you do it, then they find something really cool on codepen.io and all your work is 4 nothing, I'm gonna start working for hours now.....
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I'm in a react/vue/angular/polymer-debate. Lets continue this here, but only with the worst arguments you heard about these 4.
I start:
React: "I dont like it, facebook might have a backdoor in the code so they can see what we're developing"
Angular: "We use Google Cloud, angular is developed by google too. There is a synergy between the two"
(If you really need this to be a question, then it's "what are the worst arguments you heard about javascript-frameworks?")4 -
Having to deal with my own stupidity.
Refactoring sometimes is as hard as remembering the date of birth of a douchebag2 -
Been 6 months at this one company and still don't have a good grasp on many things, I'm also almost absolutely useless in oncall and always loop in someone else, it's like my brain just afks.
I'm sure everyone has that one dumb Dev on their team, guess it's me this time, I can sense the annoyance from my teammates by my stupidity so far, there's just so much to learn about domains and specific things that only come up when things break, idk how to gain proper knowledge without someone babysitting me and Its shit for someone to do that (I'm not a junior Dev)12 -
I hate when I am being a asshole to person for their stupidity and they reply like thank you dear.1
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I recently logged into my care provider's online services for the first time, to schedule a doctor's appointment.
The login form requested the usual: username and password - but also a birth date. Which their developers implemented with the default Android datepicker control.
Meaning I had to click 'back' 339 times to get to December 1989.
fuuuuck.2 -
Why, Google? WHY?
My wife was annoyed, that her android image gallery showed the images she has sent via telegram, but not the ones, that she had received.
Stupidity no. 1: telegram puts received pictures into Pictures/Telegram on the internal memory. It seems like the default gallery apps don't take nested image-containing directories. As Pictures only contained the default Sony dummy images I moved them away.
Stupidity no. 2: both the receiving and sending image directory of Telegram is named "Telegram" and guess what... Android does not like that. Only the first ist shown (sent images).
Stupidity no. 3: to work around that, I installed the emulated shell to make a symlink named "Telegram-Received". Aaaand that requires root access.
Goddammit Google! She just wants to see our couple selfies that I sent her in her gallery!6 -
Have a ton of work to do for the exam this semester. I even have to work on things I'm not used to, like normalizing data for a HyperNEAT program and securing that data, but what am I forced to do?
Spend two weeks in Greece wasting time on badly planned tours... Thanks education :/6 -
Now I've seen them all. Ticketing through OneNote. Each email was manually categorized by priority. They got around 20 emails per day. The responses, both from them and from the customers were one below the other, in sort of a forum model. Cool, not taking any more freelance jobs anymore. The money definitely doesn't make up for the amount of stupidity you come across with some people.
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Fuck!
I just accidentally installed mariadb and completely fucked mysql. Probably by now I've deleted my databases, but luckily nothing very important.
Time to get round to setting some proper backup system I suppose.3 -
Never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence.
-Hanlon’s Razor
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... -
Because I'm leaving the company, they planned me on the project that caused me to burn out... thanks Head of Dev! You really deserve a metal for being even shittier than you already were!!5
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It's been a long time since I was active but I felt like ranting about my shit college today.
Everything is so slow and dumb there. I'm in year 2 and we started learning JavaScript in class and our teacher said: "Here's a picture of a soccer score table. Now try to remake it with HTML and CSS!". WTF? I thought we were supposed to learn JavaScript?
This wasn't the first case of stupidity in my college (more stories coming soon).3 -
Im running into a wall of stupidity again. I have to work with kendo and fix chat functionality. Not a clue what i’m doing or how to implement functionality and documentation is shit. How am i gonna survive this deadline :( trial and error is not the way to go that’s for sure2
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So I made a rant about an hour or so ago about Django Rest Framework....this rant is about my own stupidity...Why didn't I just FULLY watch tutorial videos? The same videos I quickly blasted through like Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears blasts through your intestines are the same videos that are providing the answers I needed.
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So I recently installed Arch Linux... I don't get it. I got one little error... easy "fix" though :/ The minimum is up in less than half an hour... then maybe installing a desktop environment (I like MATE)... and... that's it.
What's the big thing I missed?
Is it only because "da user has da force" and "da user is da control master"?
Is it only that the user (in this case me, myself and I) is responsible for every fckin package, update whatever?
I'm sorry for my stupidity but... I'm not sorry for my intelligence 🧠 🤪
It didn't feel special in any way :(
but was a bit interesting 🤔7 -
FUCKING STACKOVERFLOW ASSHOLES.
This guy answered my question on security.stackexchange.com with an answer showing he clearly doesn’t understand that I’m asking if my RAID1 setup constitutes an appropriate backup. (I know that sounds stupid, I can post a link if anyone wants to see the specific circumstances).
I FUCKING KNOW RAID ISNT A BACKUP BUT THIS GUY IS LIKE “RAID 1, or mirroring, is definately [sic] considered a backup in corp IT”
Go suck a dick.9 -
My company don't want to buy me a new computer: Im stuck with 2012 Dell. No kidding. And I am supposed to run 10+ docker containers all the time, plus java IDE.
Of course, I bought a new computer - by myself. Fuck my company. I don't have time for stupidity.3 -
People who introduce unnecessary powers of 10 into calculations in the name of making things easier to understand, should be strung up by their testicles.
Like (1+r/100)^t for compound interest. Or saying the value of something is 1.5, when you might mean 1.5 or 150 or 0.015 depending on the context.
Idiots.
And then other people have to write code that moves decimal points around, and inevitably gets it wrong, and the stupidity gets passed around like a dose of the clap.
Just write down the actual fucking number. You're making it more confusing, not less, and pouring yet another bucket of shite onto the dunghill of human stupidity.
Unnecessary power of 10 => rope + testicles + tree.7 -
When you sent a message to the customer starting with the word "hell" instead of "hello".
What a stupid buster!! -
<exasperation>
originPosition = transform.rotation
3 days! 3 Days before i noticed my own stupidity, again.4 -
Recruiters message me on LinkedIn for team lead/senior developer role. I haven't completed 2 years in my first company which is obviously visible on my LinkedIn profile.
Why they do this? Just plain stupidity?4 -
One of our dev team had the task to do a bulk operation for thousands of objects.
So time passes by and they implemented it. But in acceptance testing they found out that this operation takes 4 minutes for 50 objects. This is not what we call high performant when we talk about 20000 objects per bulk operation 🤔
Well, their PO asked them to solve that performance issue. And guess what, they decided on their own that the issue can be solved to reduce the bulk to 20 items so that it only takes 2 mins to run!
Really guys, is that the best you can come up with?! 😲🤬1 -
The rank, brazen, hippo-buggering stupidity of whoever thought those "modern comments" in Word were a good idea.
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There should be a ***rant for every aspect of life, such as socrant (rants on society and politics), famrant (rants on how much family life (or to all singles out there, the lack of a family) sucks (or rocks) sometimes) and conrant (rants on all sorts of consumer products/services). Not to forget, the most important of all, trarant (traffic rant, about the rich diversity of stupidity among both drivers and pedestrians).1
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I guess i have to be thankful for not knowing whomever wrote this fucking piece of shit of a PHP app that i have to fix stupid bugs in a daily basis.
Cause if i did know the bastard.. i'm pretty sure i would fucking bash his useless head in with anything i had in my hands at the moment... FUCK!.
The level of ignorance and stupidity.. i can't even begin to comprehend.
The worst is that we can't even rewrite this fucking piece of buggy shit cause the bosses are so fucking proud of their deformed creation and wont pay us decently to even to that in the first place.2 -
I witness a lot of stupidity (programming related) in college, and my mind is constantly toggling between the following states:
* arguing with stupid people makes me look stupid too, so I should just ignore
* maybe I should educate them
* I am helpless - they won't listen to me
* what sins did I commit in my life that I have to see this
* what in the actual flying fuck are these idiots doing
* I AM STRESSED AND I NEED TO RELEASE IT1 -
Spent yesterday writing a ghetto join algorithm thingy for rethinkDB, only realizing at 11 that night after nothing worked that reql had joins. Duh.
I feel dumb.
Here is a link to my late night code for laughs.
http://lijo.pw/theHorror3 -
"Jose Simms cut a deal with police in Torrington, Connecticut, to turn himself in if the post went viral. It did and he didn’t."
- who would have ever guessed that would happen...
https://huffpost.com/entry/...3 -
I’m picturing some giant over mind
A huge cluster of computers and what is actually happening to explain the theft and stupidity that makes
The world seem like the last scene
In the movie repo
Men is they’re feeding their hungry growing baby all the pilfered videos and pictures they can and the brain was designed to be a piece of garbage like them with no regard for human life
Yep
That seems about right
Something from a sci-fi horror film mixed with the plot of that movie where all the humans were inbred morons in the future4 -
Apart from waste of time, meetings are also an acknowledgement of preferring collective stupidity over individual stupidity.
-
"Worst drunk coding experience?"
My alcohol tolerance is very low. So, every stupid attempt of my coding in such a state is the worst experience.
There's this pulsing feeling in my skull every 10 seconds blocking my attention.
And there's an increased chance of mistyping commands.
One time, for some reason, I kept "pulling" the git commits when I actually wanted to "push" them. I spent a lot of time finding out why the f*<k GitLab is not showing my new commits in my PR before realizing my sheer stupidity.
And it takes me only one 3.5dl can of low alcohol content (like 3% abv) drink to relive these experiences. WTF. -
Mark Zuckerberg is stupid , he bought whatsApp for millions and I downloaded it for free from playstore.3
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Some days I think my hate for managers is wrong: they are there to improve the workflow and make stuff easy... but then they manage (badum tss) somehow to prove me wrong.
The issue: our pm doesn’t know how to write tickets and instead of writing short but meaningful tickets, they just write pointless text and add external documents which they should read in order to tell us what to do.
My good thoughts: “maybe he’s really busy for real and is really unable to spend time writing them... kinda hard to believe and possible red flag, but shit happens, so let’s not be too harsh.
They are trying to save time... right?”
Their solution: “let me open a ticket to grant you access to the resource”
Sounds good, right: now let me explain something... their “solution” requires opening a ticket and escalating all the way up to CTO, and so far it’s been 2 days I am waiting for these credentials. 2 freaking days only to be able what to know in a ticket the f***er opened outside of planning cause it is supposed to be urgent.
“Can’t you just give me the files directly?”
“I am sorry, I don’t have time (to download and send you 3 files)”
Managers: making the process easier.1 -
coding has changed my point if view of life on how to solve problems and work with humans on a level playing field. that and that
there always will be more stupidity in logical code constructs each and every line you discover as time goes by. -
The day when you forget your iPhone passcode and get locked out and the only way to get it working again is to restore it to factory setting. I’m stupid today lmao🤯🙃🙄😂😂
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*My friend gives me some code and says that there's a problem which he can't figure out*
*He shows it me when I read...*
...
cout >> "Hello!" >> endl;
...
Me:
-
We can’t use google sheets, cause of security risks.
(Okay...)
Not even for our showcase content.
Which is public.
The showcase content which goal of the company is to have seen by as many ppl as possible.
Cause security issues which may lead to the possibility of people seeing it.
Seeing the content we want them to see.
Roses are red
My dog ate my led
I may be going crazy
It would be so easy
If they used their head
Or at least fucking read
Edit: if any security expert can give me a valid explanation better than: “it’s the protocol” I am willing to accept I am wrong, but then the point is that they (colleagues) are dicks for not explaining5 -
My LG WineSmart just became a very stupid, uselesss piece of shit. Firstly, it decided to upgrade itself - in the middle of a phone call! So, the phone itself considered its crappy upgrade more important than my phone call that was abruptly interrupted by the upgrade! WTF!? LG, seriously? Secondly, ever since the upgrade, the so called "Priority Mode" is totally broken. It's supposed to buzz only on phone calls from favourites, i.e. the mum of children and only her, but now it lets all calls through, so any idiot can call and disturb at any time! This phone doesn't have a silent mode neither, so now it has to be switched off at all times, except when I really need to use it, actually making the phone almost completely useless. LG, what utter stupid crap have you created?! What's your thoughts behind this, if any?7
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trying to sort out duplicate files on my various hard drives. i mean really determining how long i want to keep this torture going is beyond my own stupidity... clouds be trees
-
I know what I'll do !
I'll color and number code society by some strange esoteric set of unknown creepy crappy concepts and keep adding to them until a subset of people behaves like annoying stupid freaks depending on the color of the shirt I wear a specific day !
That will make everything so much easier than having a multi palette wardrobe !
That way I can reduce the world down to a bunch of retarded pygmy rejects with an extra layer of stupidity added !
Doesn't that sound like a good idea ?1 -
Deploys to Production.
Runtime error.
Open Development server and run in Production setting.
Still runtime error.
Fixes Error.
Error fixed on development.
while (hoursWasted < 3) {
Deploy.
Not working on Prod.
Try other fix.
Still not working, but works perfectly in dev machine.
What the fuck
}
Rage
Go take a walk
Realized I might have deployed to the wrong server
Glanced at deployment path
Realized it's at the wrong server
Reconfigure and Deploy
It works.
Fuck.1 -
My company relies on Excel waaaaay to much. Everything is done with Excel and VBA (it's not dev company) so I'm "forced" to develop complex system that requires database and serious coding. Worst part, they probably won't pay me anything :/
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TIL RVM and I are on different assumptions. I'm talking about RVM allowing unbound variables in its scripts.
I don't because I literally have run "rm -rf /" on my Mac because of an unbound variable in the past. So, when I write a shell script, the second line is always "set -eu."
And because RVM allows unbound variables, this line crashes RVM.
Then for some stupidity on my part, I looked into GitHub for its codebase first to get even more clueless about the issue before finally googling to see if anyone had experienced the same problem 🤦1 -
My teacher just saied that C# naming conventions wan't use to always put brackets on our if statements even though their is only one line next to it.
Where did she get this from ? 😅10 -
Apparently this generations idea of ergonomics is fucking skewed to resemble video game controllers they only get good at via repetition they only get by fucking around.
Instead of a sticking to a known format to operate heavy dangerous machinery
I mean if you have to learn you'll learn but Jesus another point regarding their stupidity
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