Till today, me along with another one guy were the only Tux users in the office. Just now, one of my colleague saw how easily and quickly I get various tasks done and got impressed. He said he is getting a new laptop next week and wants this. He is already frustrated with the lag in Windows and the infamous Windows updates. I gave him a pretty good review and he asked me if I could help him install Ubuntu on his new laptop when he gets it 😃

There is no other way to put this.

My HR manager just sent out her tax declaration sheet containing all her salary details out to the entire company via email.

The worst part, she makes as much as I do yet fails at the one single job she's supposed to do.

Yeah you definitely need an AI for this

Hi client,

I am not able to login to your prod server. Can you please verify the following:

Host: x.y.x.y
Port: 1234
Username: ABCD
Password: password1234

Thanks,
My idiotic coworker

My coworker left his Windows 10 system unlocked today.

Me:

1. Print screen on desktop
2. Saves the image
3. Sets image as wallpaper
4. Hides desktop icons
5. Changes taskbar alignment to the right and enables auto hide.
6. 🤣🤣🤣

Our system admin just claimed that Mac OS runs on Linux kernel

Hmm.. who really does that? Oh wait..

Just got myself one of these! Hope it holds up to its predecessor's reputation.

Now only if I could find that annoying dog...

Sit and stare at the computer screen for hours - which by the way, is not far from what I do if I'm honest.

I guess my family is better than the average dev family in that regard.

Do you want to really annoy the hell out of someone?

Prerequisites:

1. JIRA account for you
2. JIRA account for the victim
3. JIRA app on victim's phone

Instructions below:

1. Create a ticket and assign / add victim as watcher.
2. Open your favorite IDE or editor with any of your favorite projects with lots of files with minimal sizes.
3. Drag the folder and drop into JIRA ticket window.
4. Enjoy 😎

Don't ask me how I figured this out 😁

Sometimes I become so angry that I can't even be bothered to rant. Later on I don't remember what I was on about to make a rant and gain some virtual points.

Thought this deserves a rant of it's own.

This is just my token of appreciation for the Skype devs. Can't begin to say how much I hate it. Your android app is a joke even after a host of updates, your desktop client is an even bigger joke (atleast Linux Beta version, I know betas aren't supposed to be stable but this is ridiculous).

You have reinvented chat clients to be extremely bulky, cumbersome and very hard to sync across devices. And you have managed to make it "buffer" more than a YouTube video does on a 2G network. I for one, am blown over by how you did that. And to top it all, you can't close the client on Linux atleast! All you did is just override the close button so that it only minimises it. Brilliant piece of work right there!

Why the hell can't you just close the client and run it in the background the proper way like everyone else does? Why does it have to take 20 *** seconds to open a message? The only reason I am stuck with this is some wierdos in the office still only use this. Get your shit together 😡

Ahh.. I feel much better now.

Started optimising everything. For example last week while cooking, instead of taking another spoon to stir the food, I reused the same knife which I used to cut

Hey, I need to get something from the database here. But I've already created the connection somewhere else. Oh... I know! Let's just copy paste it here, here and here... Maybe just here and here too... And some more over here...

- The thought process that probably went through the head of the moron who wrote the code I started working on

The power cable.

My laptop battery's been dead for a while now.

Really?? :/

Now that's what I call "open-source".. Really! Well done Microsoft!

Guess what! Windows strikes again

So today I was having this discussion with my colleague regarding a messed up pull request.

Me: are you done merging the remaining branches into master?
Colleague: no, I'm still merging the changes manually.
Me: but why?
Colleague: because the changes will overwrite the changes in master.
Me: but how? It will just conflict and you can keep whichever changes YOU WANT. You can even edit before committing the merge.
Colleague: I'm just redoing the changes manually anyway.
Me: -_-

An application which can read your requirements documentation and use GitHub README's to seamlessly integrate different projects to give you the output. 😎

Wow! Can't even begin to say how much this helped me today!

Just saw this during my holiday now 😂

if(password.equals(rs.getString("password")) {
// say no more
}

This came up just now.. I can totally relate!

Thank you devRant! This made my day! ❤

Nice beats right?

Why don't you just use the damn headphones you blithering idiot?

I think I know where this is going😶

You know you are done when stackoverflow gives upon you: http://stackoverflow.com/questions/...

So I decided to run a scheduled job on the server just before everyone starts using the it.

Damn it chair! why can't you just shut up?? I'm trying to work here 😠

Apparently Google assistant thinks devRant's not that helpful :/