okay, I promise.

I promise this is my last GDPR rant..

I fucking hate this about myself in the weekends.

I promise myself to get up early enough and do loads of programming and I end up sleeping in and not being productive all day.

And then at the end of the day I feel guilty.

I hate that.

80% of coding is just staring at the code thinking about how to implement a particular feature into the code...

The 1st of July, it'll be a year ago since my father passed away.

I made him a promise as he explicitly told me; "Please grow our company, I wouldn't have put you in the CTO position if you sucked at what you do" - so I said I would keep pushing the boundaries.

As per now we've officially broken our set target. Our revenue thus far in 6 months of time has reached to last years total revenue. I take great comfort in knowing that he would have been god dang proud.

July the 1st will be a day with both a smile and a tear. Had to get this off my chest!

My previous employer still (contractually) owes me $5k. I still have push access to the repo and prod servers. Should I add a reminder to the admin dashboard? (After yet another email reminder, ofc.)

I could also mail him an invoice, since I have his addresses. Then again, it has been about a year since I was supposed to receive it, so maybe I'll just file a lawsuit. 🙄

Should @Root sue her ex-boss?

That feeling when the feature you've been working on everyday for the past 2 months is pushed into production.

My baby's all grown up now 😭

I promise. :-)))))

Don't look at my laptop and tell me to close all my tabs. They are mine mine not yours!!!!

I promise I'll 100% convert to linux if that bottom right one becomes the standard.

Under promise over deliver

So, basically i am getting desperate, and i'm also angry... and want to cry, and i feel a failure.
My biggest error in this story is "believing"

First of all, I'm a starting entrepreneur as freelancer, started of 6 months ago, back then it all seemed bright, i had my first customer, they believed me, got a second assignment for that same customer, fulfilled the task in brilliance, and was ready to move on to a bigger customer base. Here's where shit goes wrong.

Working with another office that outsources people to various (goverment) contractors, Had a meeting with them, we would cooperate very soon. This was january.

PM: "We've got a gov Dept as a customer that wants to do project XYZ and starting in february, requirements are yadiyadiyadi, you up for it?
Me:"Sure, send me the specs, and timeframe and i'll apply with my offer)"
Project is about a bit backup system migration, lots of fancy shmancy tech used, 2 datacenters setup... a big project that can take up several months...
- sends offer- received an acceptance on the offer

PM " Great, we'll start end of february"
Me: "Ok, end of february is a go then, looking forward to cooperate"

FF to near end of february, receive msg from PM: "Project XYZ delayed until half if march"
Me: "Okay... what is the delay?"
PM:"Govt bureaucracy"
Me " Ok, let's keep in touch"

Near Half of March
PM " Project delayed again".
Me: " Okay... what's the reason?"
PM: "they have decided to take a different approach, and want 3 datacenters now"
Me: "That will change the offer i made for you, can you send me the specs?"
PM: "No, because they havent decided on the techs used, expect end of march"
Me: "Okay...but once you got the specs,s end them to me"

End of March
Pm: " Hy NeatNerdPrime, we still havent got any specs yet... they still forgot to make the shopping list"
Me: "(-_-) ... I thought they already had that covered"
PM:" No, new Govt budget cuts and lots of changes, basically, they still don't know what they really want. But we're just -delayed- , not -cancelled-"
Me: "Okay... i hope we get started soon"
PM: "expect launch beginning of april"
I was not really satisfied with this explanation.... but ok

Beginning of april, at april's folls day
PM "Project delayed again"
Me: " This is a joke right?"
PM: "Sadly, no, they delayed the project since they don't really know what they actually want, we are trying to give them the proposed solution... but they still need approval, and still need to set up shopping list"
Me:"when do we start then?"
PM: " I was told 17th of april'
Me:" I really hope it gets through, i had to decline some proposals for work for months due to this, this ain't funny"
PM: "I know, i'll make up for it"

15th of april...
PM " Project delayed again"
Me right now almost losing my shit
"why this time??? I thought you said 17th of april real launch!"
PM: "they fired their PM, need to hire a new one, delayed until May/June"
Me: "I've set aside some other assignments just because you said you were going to launch at those dates... This is really pushing my limits, can you give me SOME assurances?"
PM: "5th of june would be official go" Me: " Okay, i'm noting 5th of june in my agenda, let's get this through!"

And now i get a message...stating that the date of 5th of june , is for another project, at the same goct dept, but totally different project

WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT I'VE SPENT MONTHS WAITING FOR A PROJECT THAT WAS PRACTICALLY ALL SET AND GO AND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME IT GETS DELAYED, EVERY FUCKING TIME I THINK "you know, i cannot accept these offers since that Govt project will start soon, i cannot do 2 assignments at once especially when they require me to work at govt office at the capital..." AND EVERY FUCKING TIME IT GETS DELAYED!!!

I feel at a loss now..... i've done i think the most horrible thing you can do as a independent and that's not accepting another assignment just because there was a concrete promise for a govt contract...

Almost dried up, nothing much left, had to do some spending because of a move to another apartment... I'm feeling really down, and angry...and down, but mostly angry, for not accepting those offers in the meantime...

Recruiter: Why makes you leave a company?

Me: When the company don't appreciate their employees, when I have to develop a small system for them and they never use it. when they try to give me the calm down needle.

Recruiter: what is the calm down needle?

Me: It's when I come with an issue i am facing and you tell me you will fix it, and promise me its gonna happen and never do it.

Recruiter: Silence....

Me: "Keep Talking" When you promise some employee and you are not able to deliver your promise .. well, Its just better if you didn't promise him!

Recruiter: Ok, "next question"

Damn I feel like I was so mad and my answer were straight forward with no bullshit. I think I scared her.

Git Pull Failed, Merge Conflict.

Me:
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it

Me:
Delete local project folder and pull the project down again.

"I will pay you soon. I promise" he told me that 3 months ago. :')

Client said: "And you promise there won't be any caterpillars in the app...",I gave him a strange look, he continued: "or how do you call that mistakes in apps".

He meant bugs...

Sometimes i name some datasets "fucked".
Then I promise I try to get("fucked");

1. Promise anything, everything to clients
2. Set unrealistic deadlines
3. Devs can't meet deadlines
4. Blame the devs

Anyone?

Hey fellow selfish Millenials who want to be paid for their valuable work, how's the job hunting going?

I'm a few days into hunting for some interesting part time work and I'm already encountering some real gems... Pinnacle of irony with this one.

Anyone got some horrific tales to share? This is a safe space for your anguish to finally be released, I promise.

8 rules of freelancing which newbie should know:

Rule 1: never pick up a half done website.

Rule 2: never take a job where they want to "do things themselves". And don't work with fixed prices if you calculate your price on a best case scenario.

Rule 3: don't do content management

Rule 4: don't promise a sales target on their website.

Rule 5: start sending invoices every money and not just at the end of the project.

Rule 6: Put every website on your own webserver and don't release it untill it's paid.

Rule 7: Don't work for free.

Rule 8: Don't work for free.

Credit: Jhon Dear

Trying to compress 1Tb of data,
Will take 40 hours... I expected worse. Good boy Winrar, I will buy you this year promise..

If VSCode was a girl, I would kiss every part of her body and devote my life to her.

And I would promise not to use any extension on her. She is beautiful as she is.

Interviewer: Hello my name is Alyssa from Sheeple and my pronouns are she/her

Dev: Oh yeah I saw that in your email

Interviewer: Ok well I am just letting you know they are still the same

Dev: Thanks for that.

Interviewer: What are your pronouns?

Dev: div/span

Interviewer: Sorry?

Dev: he/him

Interviewer: Oh…ok. Let me know if that changes.

Dev: I promise you it won’t

Interviewer: Well you never know!

Dev: …

I promise (for myself) I'll comment my code from now on...

"I'll not sign off this project unless you promise me that the app will NOT GET WET WHEN YOU UPLOAD IT TO THE CLOUD" (was a desk application... I left the company that same day and promised myself I'll never get back)

I'm fairly certain my boss'.....boss (didn't want to count them.. it's high up the chain, and slightly lateral) thinks I'm incredibly weird. I have too many sports injuries to be fully functional and they all flare up while I'm sitting at my desk. To offset this, I stand up or walk around while on the phone, and occasionally stretch.

These stretches are for hip and it band, usually, which are a bit more involved, so of course he ONLY fucking walks into the damn office while I'm stretching. (Image search for hip stretch).

To top it off, I have an unfortunate colored ointment for the pain in my elbow that i was applying today while stretching, and im scared to know what he was thinking before he realized what was actually going on. Imagine hip stretching (this one with leg on desk) while rubbing milky sort of clear ointment into skin...

Sir, if you're reading this, I promise I'm not actually that weird at work, you just have shitty timing.

“Competitive pay”

Translation: We are so embarrassed about how fucking little we are offering we can’t even bare to say it out loud. Maybe after 7 rounds of interviews when we feel a little more like friends we’ll be willing to let you know but only if you promise not to tell anyone.

—-

I’ve noticed literally every company with *actually* competitive pay will tell you RIGHT OFF THE BAT what that range is because they are PROUD OF IT.

Anyone who doesn’t? Well you fill in the blanks.

Gf: "Why are you such a typist"

Me: "I promise not to buy more keyboards with blue switches..."

Gf: "No, I mean like being racist or sexist, but you discriminate types"

Me: "Uhhh"

Gf: "You are always bitching about how awful date/time types are, with timezones, leap seconds and daylight savings"

Me: Face turns pale, thousand yard stare, vietnam-flashback to when I was writing a calendar scheduling/meeting/matching tool which used 3 databases, with timestamps in different formats, and web frontends for people in offices around the world.

Me, with a soft broken voice: "So?"

Gf: "You've been working on that palette tool this week, and you keep talking about how interesting all these colorspaces, white balances and conversion formulas are"

Me: 🤔

Interviewer: "Using this 2D array and calculate.."
Me: "This input isn't a 2D array though. Do you want me to parse or construct a 2D array then.."
"It is a 2D array."
"Uh.. ok..and if it's not what if we.."
"Look my notes say you must use this input, and treat it as a 2D Array"
"What if I wrote a function for a 2D array similar to this input, but actually a 2D array"
"You must use only the input provided"
Me: does rain dance code for 20 minutes.
Interviewer: "hmm, maybe it wasn't a 2D Array. I like your efforts but that's all the time we have today."

I promise I can code, sometimes. It does help to have correct questions to give correct answers.

I've told this one before, but the guy had his platform bought with a promise of partnership. they kept stalling the contract, and he would repeatedly ask when he was gonna get paid his share, and eventually they said "we never promised that". he deleted everything from the team's computers, revoked all access and left. since there was never a contract, they didn't do anything about it

Shouldn't have made the promise to client

Always under promise and over deliver

I deal with rejection every day...

...from failed Promise objects.

The title doesn't promise too much: eclipse indeed has multiple problems. I've never seen this kind of "nested exception" before :-D

Whether you hated 2017, 2018 will be better, promise.
Wish everyone a happy new year.

Best wishes,
cozyplanes

P.S.1. Thank you everyone for making me the part of devRant!
P.S.2. Thanks David and Tim!
P.S.3. If you need to work todayn and you don't think that it is the right thing to do, think of engineers working in a TV/radio broadcasting company. They should prepare the show! (Poor devs there)

I'll buy it on my deathbed, i promise!

!dev

Fuck Deutsche Bahn in the arse with multiple cacti. A country that is proud of its railway, cannot actually fucking manage to get one fucking train moving on fucking time.

Have I ever arrived anywhere on time? Fuck no! Deutsche bahn can promise to get you there, but never actually manage to get you there! Fuuuuuuuuck!

My cousin is mad on his ISP
ISP promise 16 Mbps
he only get 2MBps max when he downloads

hahahaha,know your bits and bytes

Dear DevRant Gods,

Please let me filter out the pokemon go posts.

It is getting out of hand!

I'll behave for the rest of the year, I promise. I can either have one less present at Christmas, if that's what it takes!

With rant,

fredrf_

I promise! Just because you can add ANN (Artificial Neural Network) doesn't mean you should!

When a JavaScript date has gone bad,
“Don’t call me, I’ll callback you. I promise

print('I love U world !!')

I'm back !! After being fired from my job (read my prev rants) , after a week they called me and told me that I can return! (If only I promise that I'll control my curiosity and i'll never make the same mistake ever again)
It is just like a dream !!

I'm really glad that I listened to your advice and didn't do anything stupid :)

Gf: Promise me that you'll never reject my request.
Me: Pls implement error handling

*DUMPED*

Asynchronous functions be like: We'll call you back.
Me: Promise?

Guys, does anyone promise himself to work on a personal project on the weekend which he really is excited about working on. Then he ends up having done nothing but play a game or go out?

Like i have this idea that i really wanna make but i just cant get myself to sit down and actually do it. :/

Time to go to bed.

Why not trying this lib ? it's not that late, let's give it a try for an hour and then --> sleep.

Woaw what, two hours passed already ? I was just still beginning to have fun ! so frustrating. Na, I could not sleep if I'm frustrated, let's dig deeper for 30min and then, go !

shit it's been an hour already, man, go to sleep now ! ...Actually it's too late already, better not sleeping and keep digging !

In the morning : can't wake up, tonight I promise, I go sleep at nine.

In the evening : oh new angular ! could worth a quick try before sleep !

I think the most humbling for me was deleting a table from my capstone (semester long graduation project) and messing up the online IDE so bad, I kicked everyone in web class off the IDE in the middle of their midterm. If I knew what I did, I'd promise to not do it again, but I don't, so I just don't use the IDE.

Made me realize that even if things shouldn't be dependent, they might be.

// meta rant
I promise you'll get more ++ if you take a screenshot rather than a picture with your phone. Please - it's not difficult.

I can't read your screen on an awful blurry photo with scan lines.

Co-worker: dude, I need your help!
Me: all yours.
Co-worker: can't fix that sh$t over here.

[IDE]
Err on line~~
badFunction(...);

Me: piece of cake, gimme your keyboard.

[IDE]
Build successeful.

Co-worker: duuude, how did you...???
Me: Better not look.
Co-worker: but I am curious to know, ya know
Me: promise not to scream, k?
Co-worker: I just hope it's none of your old-stylish jokes.
Me: oh dude, you know me for years, trust me, it's fine.
Co-worker: -_-

I promise this solution will change all workspace

Called in on a Saturday... I’d rather have my underwear ride up for the rest of my life than having to deal with your bitch ass not knowing how to run a FUCKING computer.

No, I promise it’s working fine you dense fuck. You just don’t know how to fucking run it. Perhaps instead of calling me in, why not ask your other coworkers how to preform the task that you’re failing to learn.

And the shit thing is, I’ve explained this so many fucking times. It’s not my fault you won’t retain the mother fucking information you cheeky bastard.

STOP FUCKING CALLING ME! - who the fuck even gave you my personal number you fuck!

Tonight, my long-time friend died. He was living in the basement for years, always reliable, always at my service, keeping my files, watching for my git repos, being my private cloud, and so many things more.

He wrote his last syslog entry at 0:21 a.m., passed away and never woke up.

I found him cold and motionless this afternoon, but could not do anything. Any attempt of reanimation failed.

Goodbye, little BananaPi, fare thee well, and if for ever.
I promise you, your legacy on SD card will live on with a new board.

Yes I know that there is a promise lib for swift, fuck off

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A woman has bugs in her home, she wants to find a bug hunter to get rid of them. She calls a man who does bug hunting, he comes to her house and says: "I am a bug hunter, you called me. Where's your laptop?"
Woman confused as she is asks the man: "Why do you need a laptop to hunt and get rid of the bugs?"

"Well how else am I going to debug those bloody programs you wrote?"

Note: I promise I made this up, if anyone else already posted this, I wasn't aware.

In PHP (yes, it's a language I... don't hate) I've always hated exceptions. They're like GOTO, in an OOP world with interfaces and contracts, try/catch is really odd as it breaks a promise about returning with a typed value.

But you can now do this in PHP8, which comes pretty close to Maybe/Either monads (Option, Result whatever it's called in other languages):

function getUser(): User | UserNotFound

PHP8 unions don't come with the same strong guarantees as in other languages but *pets PHP gently on the head* you did well, my boy.

Now I would really love it if PHP9 could do:

function getUsers(): Collection<User>

Type Tree<T> = Null | Node<T>;
function 🎄(): Tree<Branch<Ornament|Light|null>>

The hardest part about writing an app is getting anyone to find it :( on that note, please help? <3
If you have little ones I promise they'll enjoy it! it might even get you an hour or two of quiet coding time.
Tap the top bar on the main menu that says 'My First Puzzles' ten times to get prompted for a secret code (3hfazJUD) to unlock all packs free :)

Company requests that I do overtime to meet deadlines, I start working overtime, a week later I get an email "clarifying" the rules for overtime. None of which I have complied with because I didn't know about the fucking rules because they never told me about them.

Now they will "try their best" to put the hours through for me but they can't promise anything.

That's 10 hours of my life I probably won't get back, just glad I didn't do more now.

Trigger Warning - Don't date JavaScript developers.

They Promise to Callback but they won't. You'll Await in vain. They don't know how to Express themselves and React to such situations.
You might not be happy to hear this, but I'm trying to save you from a Garbage situation

Always under-promise and over-deliver when you're dealing with non-techie clients. Always.

Promise to myself, never take job offer from company that still uses SVN!!!

My only nemesis are sales people.
* They try to sell the impossible to the customer.
* They think even the biggest change takes only some minutes to implement, and tests do not even exist.
* They promise to deliver an app within half the time which means we have to cut out animations or some tests to deliver when due.
* They often get a commission (sometimes not as part of profit but revenue!) for calling their pals and asking them if they wanna buy something new (some say they also take the risk, but they don't, the company does).

There may be exceptions, but my perceived ratio between good and bad sales is about 1/20.
Now I am in a very small company with only one sales guy. Guess what, he is a good one! I hope he stays forever.

ERROR MESSAGE:
<I am written in plain english>
<Here is the line number of the error>
<Here is the possible reason for the error>

Developer: What the heck is wrong with my code now. (looking at source)

ERROR MESSAGE:
<You incompetent piece of s**t, READ ME. F'n READ ME. Please READ ME. I promise, I be helpful.>
<Nope. You aren't gonna. Fine!>

I've been wondering what tech will be like in 50 years time,

I can only imagine it will be insane compared to today's tech.

I mean we have only really had 30 solid years or so of computers in people's hands. And the world is.. absolutely different . And really 20 years of internet (when it's been properly mainstream)

If your 20 now you have about a 50-60% chance of being able to see 2070

I think I really want to see that.

I promise I ain't high 🤔

You probably know the "marshmellow experiment": have one marshmellow now, or delay the gratification by some time, then get two. What the experiment is supposed to measure is something like intelligence or impulse control.

Hot take: what it also measures, and much more so when it comes to reality, is trust. If I don't trust the other side to be both able and willing to deliver on the promise later, I will rather secure the smaller reward right now.

Called someone special...
She didnt pick up...
Then was no "CALLBACKS" for 2 days...
Which made me break my "PROMISE"...

(JS and NodeJS DEVS will understand)

i began to love JS, then i ask her a request to go out but all she gave me was promises

MFW I hear my boss promise that a feature will be deployed today it's only half built

Looking at broken code you're going to fix:

"I know visual studio, I know...the pain will all be over soon, I promise"

PM: Did you start looking into that stress testing tool.
Me: Literally looking into it right now
PM: Ah cool. So you'd be ready tomorrow?
Me: No
PM: Why not?
Me: I literally started looking at the tool. I can't promise anything.

There's a special place in my naughty list reserved for those competitions that promise "free swag" as a participation prize...

...then give you a $10 voucher to spend in their store to buy a shirt, before telling you you'll need to pay $50 in international shipping 😡

My team lead be like when we're in a meeting with the boss:

He: I'll have a working session with her, we'll brainstorm on how to come up with a better design and improve such and such feature, once that's done, we would call you to have another meeting.
Boss: sounds good, I'm looking forward to it.
Me: *internally rolls eyes...*
He: thank you everyone.
.
*meeting done*
.
.
.
couple of minutes later, I get a message from him:

He: hey, it turns out I'm busy and I can't have that session with you, do come up with a new idea/design and share it with me.
Me: .... *fuck you, like you didn't know you were busy before making that fake promise*
.
.
.

The fucker will take credit again for things he didn't do.

Another day, another job description

# Benefits
- Flexible work hours
: You'll be coding to midnight
- Ability to work from home some days
: But watch out for those other days..
- Our office space provides free coffee, beer and soft drinks as well as an amazing modern workspace
: Our tax expense will get you gee'd up and tipsy til you loose track of time. (Future diabetes health insurance not included).
- Growth and future progression opportunity
: Pinky promise!
- Receive valuable company equity
: Plus a set of steak knives for four easy payments
- Latest MacBook Pro
: We own this. We own the thoughts you have while looking at this. Plese think many thoughts.

Unpaid internships are the worst thing. You exploit young people and promise them experience. Seriously business makes tons of money yet they come with ways to exploit a young person in IT. I think it is evil.

I hate developing UI, I really do someone please murder me I promise I won’t press charges

took me about 6+ months to accept that relational database is better than blockchain. But since i am doing project involving -smartcontract- now, theres nothing i can do but to tell some people that blockchain is a good thing. please forgive me for spreading this technology... after i finish this project, i promise to never step on blockchain environment again

It’s so fucking ridiculous that business people that knows jack shit about programming are the ones that promise features within a specific impossible deadlines to the customers

This is what heaven looks like.

Brothers and sisters, I promise that everyone who joins my religion will ascend, and the gates of Liminal Heaven will be open for them.

Join now!

Thanks a lot guys! You are really awesome! :')

I promise (in a non-js way) I will use that stressball and take a lot of care with it.

Thanks to all the 203 cool devs that ++ my rant!!

When the poet in me fuses with the geek in me:

Will you be the css to my html?

When I encountered you,
My system threw a fatal error
My RAM was overloaded,
And my CPU went haywire

Will you be the css to my html?

I would show you my source code,
And let you merge your branch into mine
I will help you fix your memory leaks
And I will try filling all your nullpointers

Will you be the css to my html?

Your frontend would perfectly plug into my backend
I can compile all your heavy code,
Just in time

Baby just promise me,
You'll provide the JSON
To my API calls

Will you be the css to my html?

This is my first draft... Constructive criticism is welcome!

On today's episode of "Being the Company Git Guy":

"Good Day jallman112, can you ping me when you have a second? I'm having issues with merging our last branch back to MASTER in GIT. It's forcing me to resolve 400+ conflicts"

Sure. I'll get right back to you.

In a second.

Promise.

Overhearing your boss pitch the application you're currently working on to a client as an effort to save them from leaving, only to also hear him list features that were never discussed as part of the application launch.

Another unit (I promise no more degu posts)

I've to confess something. Promise me you'll accept me here?

I don't write tests.

Fuck asynchronous!

The client asked me today to include Internet Explorer to the compatibility list. After 5 minutes of continuous refreshing, Internet Explorer finally shows me in developer tools that it does not support Promises and Object.assign().

At that moment, my Promise to the client also failed.

Soo why the fuck am I receiving notifications about someone from my contacts is available on messenger, when you don't fucking have the permissions to read my contacts? I'm looking at you Facebook Messenger.

That's some new level of ignorance. "Oh I see you didn't gave me the permissions to read your contacts. Worry not my friend just let me take a secret peek of it. I will be discreet, I promise!"... Well FUCK YOU!

P.S.: I only use that piece of garbage because unfortunately some of my friends are only available there... Time to convince them to switch.

Firebase is pure fucking assrape!
How can these spoiled cunts of Google "develop" such a stinking pile of rotten placenta?
No, one fucking Promise is not enough... you have to return Promises for every single smegma function!
I want to just blow up this ugly afterbirth!!

It seems that Google devs are just spoiled MacCunt Pro brats who copy-paste code around until something "kind of works".

When your new build is compiling and just scooting right along so you think... sure, I could go for some food. No. Nope. Not even. It chooses the exact moment you leave to nope the fuck out completely with the most random compiler errors that you would have never seen had you just been sitting there in the chair. It's like it knows. Maybe next time I leave I'll promise to bring it back a taco.

Both GCC and Clang can switch off the braindead type-based aliasing rules through the "-fno-strict-aliasing" compiler option so that everything can alias everything.

On the other hand, C offers the "restrict" qualifier for pointers where you promise that nothing will alias this memory area, not even same type pointers.

What happens if you use "restrict", but compile with "-fno-strict-aliasing"? Will the "restrict" be obeyed or disregarded?

Answer in the comments.

Javascript promises: I JUST WANT THE FUCKING VALUE OF A PROMISE.

WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT PROMISES SIMPLIFIED ANYTHING?!

So Minecraft Dunegons launched today.

Not my style of game, but I did purchase hero edition because fuck, the price is LOW given the IP attached and the fact that it was developed by Mojang. $20 for the full game and $30 for full game + extras? Incredibly refreshing in a market where $60 is standard for full game, and up to $75-80 for extras (like "I paid too much money" skins and such. I got a chicken pet and promise of two upcoming DLC with my extra $10)

Anyways I was happy with the price of a game for once and wanted to share!

Me busy coding, trying to hit the dateline.

PM stretches his arm and starts working after getting bored browsing facebook. *Time to get productive

10 mins later. comes to me with a list of changes. To a project I finished last week, saying it's urgent. Have to be done today. He promise the client to fix these Changes by the end of this week. *wow thanks for pilling me with this now

.... one week later. client emailed and question us. On a few of the (PM self initiated ) changes and want us (me) to revert. -.-

Promise no more!

I wish homework worked like an ES6 Promise: "A Promise represents a value which may be available now, or in the future, or never."

My current job. Fire half the dev staff, leave junior as only web dev with no plans to rehire. Then immediately starts a larger project that we don't have a contract for yet with half baked and fuzzy requirements, due by March. The reason for firing most of the staff? Running out of money and can't promise our jobs 3 months out.

Did I start watching SpongeBob SquarePants at 00am? Yes.
That's how tired I am of absurd workload and salesmen that promise features we're not close to have.

New Promise(resolve,reject).then.then.catchmthen.catch.then.then.then.promise.then.catch.then.then

This is my week

Here's some of my favorite quotes from "The Mythical Man-Month":

"The bearing of a child takes nine months no matter how many women are assigned".

"The management question ... is not whether to build a pilot system and throw it away. You will do that. The only question is whether to plan in advance to build a throwaway, or to promise to deliver the throwaway to customers."

"I once knew a boss who invariably picked up the phone to give orders before the end of the first paragraph in a status report. That response is guaranteed to squelch full disclosure."

FUCKING PROMISE WONT FUCKING RESOLVE SO MY FUCKING CODE KEEPS FUCKING RETURNING A FUCKING NULL VALUE FOR FUCKING FUCKS SAKE IT REALLY SHOULDNT BE THIS FUCKING HARD TO RESOLVE A FUCKING PROMISE WITHOUT FUCKING CRASHING MY GODDAMN SERVER

When you're in the middle of a big-ass project and have to stave off the temptation to jump into a "mini project" you've been fantasising about...

Oh Arch head
Oh Raven head
Oh Linux fanbase
I want to confess. Please here me!
Today my windows FINALLY successfully update. I was happy that when in an accident I'll require to boot in Windows I'll have less fear of random and sudden restart and applying of updates. But oh great men, I fouled this fearlessness to a greater extend. I was just checking the change logs and, this 01:57 hrs, 3 hrs later, I find myself hearing music on groove music, liking the integration of cortana with edge, groove music, settings and just all....

It's not that I'm loving 'it' more than GNU/Linux but my current installation of GNU/Linux has been fucked so hard by me already that it needs nothing but a reinstall... I'd like to spend a few more time with Windows before I go to bed(I'm sitting on my bed already tho) and promise to never see Windows this way ever again.
I promise

Will I be forgiven?

I need to delay execution of code in a for loop, how do I do that?

PHP: Sleep(3000)

Javascript:
const waitFor = (ms) => new Promise(r => setTimeout(r, ms))
const asyncForEach = (array, callback) => {
for (let index = 0; index < array.length; index++) {
await callback(array[index], index, array)
}
}

const start = async () => {
await asyncForEach([1, 2, 3], async (num) => {
await waitFor(50)
console.log(num)
})
console.log('Done')
}

start()

Fuck you Javascript

If you currently try to click on a video after doing a google search it will produce this link

Got a call from a place I interviewed at two years ago and never heard back from saying they were really impressed with me. Well, I guess they kept their promise to call me back someday.

Dear rust,

I swear im not going to modify that string, i fucking swear on my life pinky promise, just plEASE LET ME USE IT WITHOUT HAVING TO CLONE.

Sincerely, a functional programmer

I was going to be productive today, I promise.

All I got was a headache and nausea.
Cold all the time.

Fucking irritating, when I stand up I want to vomit.

I'm either sick or pregnant. I'm hoping for the second one because that would be the type of excitement I need in my life.

Created a simple bot for an online game using puppeteer.

After an evening (and night) of dev and debugging (quite some rejected promise errors), it worked fine and was ready for a 10-minutely cron job.

Fixed a couple bugs in the first three hours. Then started playing minecraft, which lagged like hell.

Opened task manager and saw a list of about 25 headless chrome processes. They had not been closed because of unhandled errors before the close method call 😵

Now added some basic error handling ☺

I see articles going -> "Here's the future of gaming. blah...blah...blah..."

I already know the future of gaming is trash (no matter how many VR glasses u throw at it), because the current state of gaming is a flaming pile of shit.

I'm still hurt by what Cyberpunk 2077 did to the gaming industry. They relayed the message across like -> "Hey you can release any pile of shit mid-development 'game', charge full price of $60 for it and just promise incremental updates over the years."

const burgerPromise = Restaurant.orderABurger();

Objective-C is an awful programming language that nobody should ever use for anything.
Also you dont know how important unit tests are until you have to deliver an enterprise level application without them.
Biggest one Ive learned recently, managers will promise you the earth to keep you around as long as possible, and they will go back on every promise and call it a "change in priority"

You probably hate bootstrap and jQuery, as I do, but if you block CDN paths for these libraries, you'd probably never see the internet as it was intended.

Side note: web devs, please learn media queries, vm and em for font sizes, and etc. You really don't need complicated stuff, browsers already have your back, I promise.

So according to my manager its not really acceptable for me to sit at my desk and vent about what a colossal idiot my Tech Lead is. Fair enough i suppose. even though he feels the need to chime in on every technical decision when he himself doesnt understand how async code works. he thinks you can set a variable inside a promise and then return that variable outside the promise, because its after the call. This guy is a senior software engineer on an iOS team and I, a trainee, have more iOS experience than him.

I swear to god this industry needs some serious purging. I was trying to google the parameter to Node that crashes on unhandled promise rejections so that I can get a stack trace and debug it properly, and literally all relevant SO questions were asking how to _prevent node from crashing on unhandled promise rejections_. In what realm is that preferred behavior?

For some reason github is returning 503 on our build servers randomly. And I need to checkout several repositories to build everything successfully. Builds are automatic and I don't want to maintain local mirror. And we wanted to release tomorrow (but were smart enough to promise this week). And on top of everything build takes six hours and sometime fails randomly even without github. But I'm still optimistic - it's Monday after all. We still have enough time to make it in time for Friday release :-)

Can't come up with ideas right now? Do you feel dull and without energy?

Write a Thesis! The ideas will start to overflow as if there is not enough memory to hold them. Promise.*

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*does not apply to the topic of the thesis though

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Proud to finally be another supporter of devRant. I've made myself a promise (no pun intended) to support devRant as soon as I begin to earn some money as a dev. So here I am...
Thank you dfox and trogus for your work!

The Project Management Triangle "fast-cheap-good (pick two, you can't have all three)" is something I've never agreed with.

How would you promise to build something good & cheap?
Doing it slowly will not really make it cheaper. The cost is usually development hours. If it takes 40 hours to make a good product - doing it 2 hours per day isn't going to make it cheaper.

”We’re not going to shuffle you (devs) around from project to project and definitely not taking on any new time-sensitive projects with the limited resources we have, seriously understaffed as we are atm” - that was the promise.

So today I got assigned to a time-sensitive project (unconditional deadline by the end of the year) on a product I am not at all familiar with... I almost believed 2 projects underway was enough so that it would not get assigned to me. Oh well, there’s always room for a 3rd.

At least I get to pick my tools so I get to try out Fable... a silver lining there, and not really a thin one.

I work with content. More specifically I work on content migration and improvement.

We connect to many platforms and pull and push documents into it. This one time we had to connect to some outrageously expensive (6 figures) system which we obviously couldn't afford to buy just for testing. The client wouldn't give us a testing server either.

My literal warning: "We need a testing server because we're gonna push it until it breaks. Then we know the limit." Client: "nah it will be fine." Us: "I promise you the server will go down..." Client: "It's a stable system. You can test in your own folder on our server"

10 minutes later we had an angry client because the server crashed due to overload.

I'm not sure if I'm annoyed or amused :p

I specifically asked my employer when fix time is, whether I get a work laptop, and whether WFH is optional, because

- I'm a night owl and don't function until 10am
- my personal laptop is slow as shit and I don't want to put Windows on it
- I don't have a decent chair at home yet

- client team agreed on fix time starting an hour before what's in my contract, and PM made it clear that they expect to be able to call us an hour before and two hours after (that's what fix time means unless I misunderstand)
- I got a crap backup laptop after a week of moaning, with promise of a better one two weeks from now
- I won't get an RFID card for weeks, so I effectively can't enter or leave the client offices

Converting one of my older projects to use functional components and hooks instead of class components and prop drilling. It's nice.

Though now I have this useState:

const [ disembodiedHead, setDisembodiedHead ] = React.useState("");

Promise it's not as creepy as it sounds.

My first promise in Javascript !!!

Crawling out of my shell and taking control of my own work. Colleagues were surprised because I'm a very quiet person.

Sales can promise all they want, I decide when we're done. Taking the time to train my peers and learning from them. Communicating with everyone in a way to get things done. Get involved with other departments to see if processes can be optimized. Manage the customer's expectations (under-promise, over-deliver) Taking over this damn company to be more efficient!

Found a lovely comment on an aging blog post about something entirely different:

Promise.resolve() in js. You have a string but need a promise? Just do a Promise.resolve(str) and boom! You can 'then' the shit out of your string...

Too many broken promises then I don't care anymore.
Javascript has ruined humanity. Catch me on my way out.

"we need to account for every device and every browser that our clients are using" -_- stop using ie, you're the only "client" that will be using it to view your site. promise.

Yo dawg, I heard you like asynchronous JavaScript, so I put a promise in your promise so you can promise while you promise

A real world scenario when someone made you a promise

I remember the promise I made to myself when I dropped out of university to look for work.

"I'll explore different areas of software engineering since I like a number of them. But never shall I ever do backend web development"

Guess what job I landed.

People around me and clients are increasingly saying i am a genius, because i show them an app i made in react-native or some crappy site i set up in a week as POC.

While im quite noobish still, i barely read publications out of interests, and most of the time i just put in async/await somewhere just to see if it makes the promise work or not, because i dont understand promises fully, and I think in general i just accomplished very little in the 5 years I have been programming

It is really putting pressure on my impostor syndrome, even more when i talk with my peers who can tell who was the driving force behind ES6 :/

when the project manager asks you if you have an ETA on the project you're trying to finish because deadline is a few hours. You have never done the thing you're trying to complete before so you have no baseline for it and they know that.... nope but you'll be the 2nd person to know when it's done, maybe next time don't promise deadlines without consulting the devs?

Sometimes I look at my old code and I wish I could go back in time and punch my self in the face for writing that shit

But then I look at it as I'm actually improving so guess it's ok?

Spent 4 hours fixing callback mess I had in my ReactJs project, making it all as Promise and async hope I don't fuck up this time

<rant>
I was once a pure server side developer. Then came full stack development. So in order to keep up with the competition, I had to brave through front-end development.

But goddamn javascript, make up your mind between functions, and “Objects”.

Also variable visibility. Goddamnit. I thought ES6 was widely supported. I was happy doing const and let bbut goddamn testing frameworks, grunt and shit. Can’t make up it’s mind to support it unitedly.

And lastly, IE. Goddamn it, why the fuck are you not supporting Promise by default. We’re fucking 2017. [insert slowpoke meme]
</rant>

One good thing though, I like the library vuejs.

Bad thing is, this is just the beginning of a much more upcoming headache.

Having to work until past midnight on some shitty site amends because one of our account managers made a promise to client with a deadline attached, but then didn't bother getting any Dev time booked for the task.

I found out about this the day before the deadline when I was about to finish work for the day. I was not amused...

I was hired with the promise of being able to grow by doing as a software developer. After one year of reminding them almost once a week that I wasn't being able to do any development, but put in a position where I was somehow a Product Owner, today we had a meeting where I was suggested as a PO for real for next year. Funnily enough, our manager laughed and said that he knew I didn't want that. But still... no other name came up.

Sometimes, even if you are capable of doing something and doing it right, if that's not what you want to do, you should do it wrong. Otherwise, if there is the need for someone to do that thing you hate but can do, you will end up being the one that does it.

PO my balls...

Hi. I would like a hamburger. Would you like cheese? No. I would like a hamburger with no cheese. Ok. Wait here 15 minutes and I'll give you a hamburger with cheese.

It's the same everywhere... image assets... project managers... node packages... almost every exchange I have - is with someone who isn't present and cannot deliver what they promise.

Huge thanks to the other people who follow through.

Just use the variable on the line after the promise, it will be populated then…

From a “tech lead”

I always promise myself that I won't take any freelance projects during that specific semester because I need to study for college and already have projects to do.

I always fail and get stressed out later with the amount of things that somehow I got involved with and delivery dates are always close.

I feel such a sadomasochist when I accept this freelance projects and hate myself for doing it.

The promise for fast/simple projects (that always becomes complex later) and the quick $$ get me.

1. power - ability to decide about other people future
2. religion - ability to promise life after death
3. entertainment - ability to make people feel something
4. money - ability to enslave people

power + religion + entertainment + money = life

Probably I got no life.

"New facebook dating service! It's absolutely free! Just sign this user agreement and durable power of attorney. We promise we won't rape you with it later. "
It's a joke now, but probably not for much longer.

I feel a whole lot better. The project that I was so incredibly stressed out over has finally been invoiced for, albeit two months late, and my client has been understanding throughout the process. I now realise that although pressure is great for working to a deadline, too much pressure is heavily impacting on my thought processes and extends my deadlines more than I can manage at the moment.

The words of encouragement in the comments on my last "rant" really spurred me on, and the criticism made me reflect very much on how little squeeze time I'd given myself. I'm very grateful to this community for those inciteful fragments, and I promise to do my bet to take all of them on board.

Thank you devrant community, for giving me a leg up when I needed it.

!dev

Ladies... I promise that your men (most of them) are trying... We fail a lot, but we are trying...

rant
When you come 1000kms away from office to home.. and promise to do WFH and the wifi at home is slow...
Killing me!!
Too many backlogs this sprint...

How shit are my colleagues? This shit...

Export class TypescriptClass {
DataHasFinishedLoading: Promise;

doAThing() {
GetData()
. Subscribe(all The Data => {
//do some shit with the data
This. DataHasFinishedLoading = Promise. Resolve(true) ;
} )
}
}

This guy has about 10 years experience doing literally javascript. And this code made it through peer review.

Confession!!

Ohh Lord, Please forgive me. Today I committed a sin and tomorrow I will have to commit it again. I wrote a shitty code and will have to write it tomorrow also. I am so ashamed of myself. I promise, I will refactor the code before releasing it for code review. My excuse for doing the sin is that I want to make it work first, it is little complex. I hope, if someone will stumble on it, then that person will not judge me by few shitty snippets I wrote to make it work.
Thanks,
An embarrassed programmer

Sorry guys for the lack of content on the stream last week. I'll be back with more fire than ever I promise.

*last call POST Breakup*

She : make a PROMISE, no CALLBACK!

Me: Got it.

*That's how it started*

Oh promises how I love thou...

JavaScript is new the PHP.

Reading a stackoverflow question about async functions and await-usage, and lot of well-intended answers show no understanding of the concept. Some fail to understand that the scope is about promises. They don't know that, yes, *every* async function *always* returns a Promise and that within an async function it's synctically the same to do either `return x` or `Promise.resolve(x)` or `return new Promise((resolve) => {resolve(x)}), and they fail to realize what await does or doesn't do and are oblivious about how awaiting at certain stages can have huge performance impact when compared to either Promise.all or Bluebird.map.

Grasping promises is hard in the beginning, I get that. But please don't share your lack of understanding as fact.

I just bumped into a javascript problem that exceeds the stupidity of previous ones:
Because promises can be retained after they settle, and handlers attached thereafter are pushed on the microtask queue, a promise rejection can't be asserted to be unhandled until the promise in question is GC'd.
Of course this is nuts so engines will conclude that a promise rejection is unhandled if there are no handlers at the moment of rejection.
I hate this language.

```
public someMethod(index: string): Promise<void> {
return Promise.resolve(someAsyncFunction().then(() => {
return;
})
.catch((error) => {
this.logger.error(error);
throw error;
});
```

Somebdoy doesn't know their async / await syntax but they wanted aboard the promise-hype train. There is an entire class in that style.

Has anyone else started a new job with the promise of interesting work, just to end up spending all their time writing e2e tests for crap code written 5 years ago by a contractor who clearly couldn't give 2 shits?

When I say "error in an async function" you say "no stack trace"!

"Error in an async function"!
"No stack trace"!
"No stack trace"!
"Error in an async function"!
"Unhandled promise rejection DEPRECATION WARNING Unhandled promise rejections will be shoved up your ass in node v7.coffee.9.10.666."

In 2014 I made a promise to myself that I will never work again in webforms again. Next day I put a resignation notice to my boss and said : "I have dignity". That was my last day when I looked at aspx file. Fast forward to 2024. I break my promise everyday for the last half a year. I can't quite because I don't see any job offers paying that handsomely as 3-4 years ago and I fear that now it may be difficult to find any work at all... I am imprisoned again in VIEWSTATE :(

In PC World yesterday after reserving an item online for "Collection within minutes". Took about 20 mins to get there.

Went to the collection desk and gave them my reservation number. Staff member (very friendly and nice) went to go get it. Waited 10 mins for them to come back and say "I'm having trouble finding it...".

I said thanks anyway then went next door to maplin to get what I needed.

Just annoyed they promise a collection in minutes service and the item doesn't even exist in the store.

Maybe as they don't specify the minutes it's actually ready to collect in a million minutes.

So if you’re awaiting a promise and the async function returning the promise calls another async function and doesn’t await it could this counterintuitively cause the whole thing to freeZe ?

Last day at this job. Fixing a printer and then exploring electron apps until 5 because no one's giving me anything to do

Context: large project moves to touch friendly UI, request and initial specs late last year, specs initial mockups early this year, designer promises final design before end of Q1.
Two sprints into development no fucking design, meeting today about it, designer has no fucking clue about what we actually agreed to last time. Promises again to have it for next time.
What the actual fuck? How difficult it is to least read up the fucking notes and do your fucking job that you are being paid for? Had a half fucking year!
After meeting...
Me: why do we even keep him around?
Pm: he is really overbooked...
Me: my balls are overbooked, don't promise if you can't deliver! (Leaves meeting room)
Fairly confident that this is the last project with this guy...
Am I the only one who just hates working with designers?

To the newbies out there, those who just study and work hard, do you ever feel like you can’t do it? Like what the fuck is the point. You work your shit job and get home and code but kinda just look at your code editor for hours without typing anything? There are times I feel like that. I stay up all night and go to work at a shit job where were accused of stealing shit and it’s like, dude shut the fuck up, but when you get home, you know you’re gonna be a Developer one day, but you just don’t know how you’re gonna get there. Keep on pushing. It’ll come and you can leave you’re shit job. I promise that.

RAD (Rapid Application Development, such as Oracle's colossal frameworks) frameworks aren't rad at all. They promise to let you focus on your business code, but instead what they do is bring you additional problems to have gray hairs over.

Thoughts?

Step 1:
Promise customer something non-existent
Step 2:
Complain big time that engineering is not co-operating in getting the order out in time. (without which you won't get your end of year sales performance bonus)
Step 3:
Comment about the product being sub standard. Rant about how engineering "great" products must be the philosophy. Blah blah blah...
Offer to provide your fucking support to make the product better despite not being responsible for it.Be the greater person.
Step 4:
Deliver the product. Pocket your bonus. Make jokes about how bad the product is and how you won't sell it again to protect the company brand reputation.
Step 5:
Rinse and repeat.

Fucking assholes.

So remember when we said 1.1 would be the last release, and then we said that 1.2 would be the absolute last we promise this time release?
Well buckle up buckaroos because 1.3 will be the last release.

Neck deep in callbacks and promises.
Fuck this.

cure my disorder
I will either destroy you with chemicals made precisely to wipe out scum like you, or with a good old handgun.
You’re not making it alive out of 2023. I promise. Your days are numbered.

I've been working with Node and Typescript for a while now, and I wrote a wide array of very general utility functions. Examples include:
- Array.filter but you also get the residue array, it can also leave holes in both arrays if you want to join them later
- Array zipping and unzipping to and from tuples (especially valuable when you're manipulating the prop set with Object.entries() in a HOC
- Array maximum selection, with an optional mapper
- Cancelable promises, lazy promises, a promise that resolves when a given function on an object is called (excellent for DOM events), a timeout promise.
- A typed event with both immediate and microtask listeners depending on whether you need state guarantees (this idea I took from a Github gist and upgraded it)

I want to put them on NPM so I don't have to write them and their tests again, and so that if I ever think of an improvement it's easier to propagate it. Do you think I should release them as tiny individual packages which would be nice from a versioning standpoint, or should I make them into a compilation which would be a lot less work for me (and therefore would probably result in better documentation and more tests)?

Strapi...

So much promise let down by poor documentation. Adding custom commands is not in the docs but is supported in the code.

Spent 2 weeks through trial and error trying to get custom commands written to import content and its been a pain in the ass.

When your documentation is written, give it out to novice or intermediate programmers with minimal exposure to your system. Note down their issues and improve the documentation.

Hell, why not add a form to submit feedback on the docs to a dedicated team of writers.

Anyone here good with Strapi who could assist?

AWS IAM permissions: a love-hate relationship! 😫🔐 On one hand, they promise control, but on the other, they're a labyrinth of confusion. Navigating JSON policies, deciphering documentation, and debugging 'Access Denied' errors. Oh, the joys of IAM! 😅

I can't get over the fact that my company downgraded the project from Elixir Phoenix to nodejs express.

I asked them why, they told me, the elixir is difficult and blablabla. In my resume, I did mention I have the experience for 2 and a half years (phoenix one year) , I can do that. and previously the senior here used elixir for scalibility , etc. Personally, the system he built weren't bad at all.

now in nodejs , with the async await promise shit.

but 'we prefer old tech' they say . old is gold they say .

Wait nodejs isn't old. To me elixir is like Ruby and Erlang had sex and gave birth to it and named it elixir.

new Promise(function (resolve, reject) {
self.getPaid(function (err, money) {
if(err) {
reject(err);
console.log("fml");
} else {
resolve(money);
console.log("fuck yeah!") ;
});
})
.then(resolve)
.catch(reject);

Javascript, I promise I will never callback you again

promise yourself
you will never ever show your geek knowledge to stupid people's.

or ready to face some stupid hacking questions.

A promise to stay away from callback hell.

I wasn't even interested in badges and regular working hour until our HR made us use an Android app to stamp the badge.

IDGAF, I will break it. That's a promise.

I'm currently switching off some of applications as the company I work for is being sold.

Our latest flagship product has only been in development for the past year and was showing some real promise, but all things must come to an end.

Live fast, die young leave a good looking code base.

You will forever be remembered by the git repo in the cloud.

No wonder it’s hard to hire devs with even a basic level of competency or some kind of promise that them might be able to learn shit given time, opportunity and guidance. The sheer amount of idiocy and stupidity and straight up incompetent cringe I witness on every platform giving us devs a voice (yes, including here) is mindboggling…

I promise to donate once half of my monthly gross income to charity for research on ASD, the year that I'll be able to enjoy all of my holidays without some smartass thinking that it's a great idea to deploy a huge untested upgrade to Production.

when someone promises to complete a project over the weekend that will take several hours, and it's Sunday afternoon with no progress. if they don't do it then it'll be you having to do it scrambling Monday morning to complete for the client. why promise work over the weekend if you aren't going to do it!!!

Guys cover your eyes I'm gonna say two bad words inside a paragraph

Fuck JavaScript and asynchronous programming - I'm not skilled enough for this so I have to insult it periodically until I'm skilled enough to know partially more than now what the fuck I'm doing (therefore the times I use bad words when referring to js and async programming will decrease - or maybe at the increase of knowledge, my usage of bad words will augment. Only time will tell).

Interview question i had:

- how does jwt work under the hood, where is it stored, what 3 parts is it made of, who creates jwt, how does the server know what information the jwt token has (how can it say oh you're Joe you can login now)

- what is the difference between observable and promise in typescript, how does observable work, what is a stream, what is the difference between fetching data through an observable and fetching data with promise and when should we use one over the other, what does .next() funcrion do in observable under the hood

Answer me these questions without googling