Yhea...

I need one of these for my server room

Guess it's funny

😆👌😂

👌👌👌

👌😂😂

Sometimes I just feel like punching them😂

This is so me..

My teacher was presenting and her pp crashed. She just continued with her presentation but her desktop was showing. I instantly noticed she had a "stickynote" with her login details for our grading system and I tried telling her to put her laptop to sleep or anything but she got mad at me for interupting class and threw me out of class. My revenge will be showing admins the picture of her desktop ;)

Gotta love how straightforward the installation guide for Elixir is written for windows

(I'll choose the second one though)

Vacation in Delphi

Prolog:
After a basic cup of java, I wanted to go to the c and meet Ada, who cured her common lisp with a batch of elixir. On the way, I had a swift Smalltalk with Pascal, who has a brainfuck, because he is a wyvern enthusiast.

I also found a shell with a perl in it, but it had a scratch. This reminded me of my friend Ruby, who has a pet python and loved a good scheme à Shakespeare.

I then started my laptop, which already collected rust on its logo of a maple, and browsed the web for groovy songs. I found a song by Julia, performed in a very high octave in F#.

I was expecting a 4th interview this afternoon for a position as a fullstack elixir developer.

Got a response from the CTO.
'Even if you pass all the tests with success, we could not go further because you're a junior and we're looking for a senior'

Well, dude, you've seen me 3 times and didn't understand that I was a junior ? My CV is not enough explicit ? It's written at the top of it...

So after a motivation interview, technical test, technical interview and Phoenix framework interview, they only realized yet the plot.

Good luck for your seniors to pass their knowledge to other seniors.

A late rise up *check*
A good cup of tea *check*
A nice breakfast *check*
A rainy day today *check*
A bunch of time for reading
a book and playing with
python and elixir *check
Nobody seeks me for
tech support *check*

Did I die and go to heaven?

There nothing like sitting down on a rainy weekend day to learn something new.

Storytime
A story about an Android TVbox which decided to become an iPad

Several years ago we've bought an android tv-box. 

It served me and my family well for several years.

Specs are not that important in this story, but there they are:

Android 4.4 
1GB RAM
Amlogic quadcore 1.4HGz
8GB memory.

This device served us well - online TV, browsing, music, file sharing and so on. But recently cheap Chinese memory deciteed to take a break and damaged ROM. Because of that device won't boot. The only option was to take it apart and "short circuit" certain legs on memory chip and make it boot from SD card and install new firmware. After such operations tv-box worked well again. 

Hoverer, memory glitched again and again and this algorithm was repeated for several months.

But that is not what is this story about.

One day memory went completely crazy and there was no way to install new firmware on it. It just hanged on install. (BTW, it was official firmware for this device)

But after countless attempts it finally worked! It installed the firmware and booted into launcher and connected to WiFi! 

But now comes the most interesting part. 

It was not android anymore.

It decided to became an iPad.

My dad logged in to his Google account via tv-box and got mail that someboby connected from our IP via iPad (we don't have an iPad) and using safari browser! Stock browser is not safari browser.....

"Ok, nvm, crazy glitch." - we thought.

But preinstalled play marked wont launch. Because he told us, that we're trying to connect from iPad.

And Google chrome page suggested to download chrome for iPad

And everything was acting like it is an iPad.

OK, downloaded iTunes, why not??? ._.

Tried to install elixir for android via apk from flash, but then memory glitched one more time, everything went black and tv-box had damaged ROM again...

After that we decided to not torment it anymore...

That's it. Poor Android TVbox that all his life dreamed to become an iPad. Rest in peace.

Dad: “Hey son.. I have this new software called blablablu.."

Me: "yeah?.."

Dad: "well it's not working.. there's an error and it's not doing what I want.."

Me: "okay.. I don't know.. sorry.. I don't know that software.. I can't help you.."

Dad: "you're studying computer science... you should know what to do.."

You ****ing serious?! -.-

The quote to live by

I feel like I've done this a lot of times😂

Searching for new jobs when i find this:

Backend Developer

Education:

Computer Science (Bachelor's degree)

Languages:

English (spoken proficiency: Conversational/Business written proficiency: Conversational/Business)

Skills:

Ruby on Rails (+5 years of experience)
HTML (+5 years of experience)
CSS (+5 years of experience)
.NET (+5 years of experience)
HapiJS (+5 years of experience)
ExpressJS (+5 years of experience)
Django (+5 years of experience)
Elixir (+5 years of experience)
Ruby (+5 years of experience)
Python (+5 years of experience)
Java (+5 years of experience)
Javascript (+5 years of experience)

Elixir:
solution = problem |> process |> process_more |> finalize |> format

Java:
New class() implements quantum mechanics; get(); set(); get(); set(); super.fuckshitup(); throw new nonsense 300 line error and crash

Life as a homeless developer.

I'm a lil brainsick but homelessness makes you that way.
I started writing software as a hedge against an old injury i had from my teen years. I have a unique condition leaving me with limited use of my hand as such any jobs like cashier call center and they like are of limits to me, i can't hold change because my hands don't bend flat, and to much typing is excruciating. Therefore being adev should get the most bang for the buck that I have left. Ive been doing this for 12 years. Well it's all bullshit and unicorns. I can't get a job to save my life. All i get is calls from recruiters wanting a full stack retard. I'm an erlang developer for about 5 years, c# php no i can't do Photoshop or frontend gay as colors because it's a different skillet. Oh but trumpy says we're at the lowest unemployment ever, ya because we're all homeless and companies are still looking for unicorns, they don't exist just like the fake jobs which is the real fake news. In reality if a company wants you its because their dev left and you are to fix their broken shit, which never worked in the first place thus cannot be fixed besides I'm not a plumber. In my opinion many companies nowadays are run by liberal sjw children who don't value your time but want the product now, spoilt. Recruiters are the worst, gimme money because i touched your resume. I'd rather just kill myself than try to appease some fucking retarded children. Its so awesome to live in a tunnel while my skills entropy while i have 160 self published github repos, know many programming languages and be told your have no value. its those same children that dont understand the flow of money or value loyalty, claim we have all these jobs but no skillid employees, so they can bring in more visa overstayers, underpay them and claim record profits, the more you pay forieners my countries money the less there is to go around in the society leading to disenfranchised people like me, and you wonder why there's so many shootings in il. How long can i endure homelessness before i start becoming a criminal? Soon i will have no other option. You employers had a choice but I'm going out with a bang.

Friend: Hey, so what do you do?

Me: I build backend systems and apis. I work with java/mongodb. I dable into some elixir and kotlin on my free time.

Friend: Cool, can you build me an Android app?

Me: Updates my debian.
Nautilus: Is slow af.
Me: *googles alternatives*
Me: Let's try ranger.
Me 10 sec after installing: Holy jumping jesus on a breadstick there's a lot of shortcuts.

It works. It finally works!

After an 8 hour session I got my crawler to work and give me basically every anime op/ed I long for.
All that using Elixir even though I'm still fairly inexperienced with both elixir and functional programming

I'll try to create an API and eventually Maybe even a database tomorrow (or rather in a couple of hours)

I was reading the post made by another ranter in which he was basically asked to lower the complexity of an automation script he wrote in place of something everyone else could understand. Another dev commented that more than likely it had to do with the company being worried that ranter_1 would leave and there would be no one capable of maintaining the code.

I understood this completely from both perspectives. It makes me worry how real this sometimes is. We don't get to implement X tech stack because people are worried that no one would be able to maintain Y project in the event of someone leaving. But fuck man, sometimes one wants to expand more and do things differently.

At work I came to find out that the main reason why the entirety of our stack is built in PHP is because the first dev hired into the web tech department(which is only about 12 years old in my institution) only knew PHP. The other part that deals with Java is due to some extensions to some third party applications that we have, Java knowledge (more specifically Spring and Grails) is used for those, the rest is mostly PHP. And while I LOVE PHP and don't really have anything against the language I really wonder what would it be of the institution had we've had a developer with a more....esoteric taste. Clojure, Elixir, Haskell, F# and many others. These are languages and tech stacks that bring such a forward way of thinking into the way we build things.

On the other hand, I understand if the talent pool for each of these stacks is somewhat hard to come up with, but if we don't push for certain items then they will never grow.

The other week I got scolded by the lead dev from the web tech department for using Clojure to create the demo of an application. He said that the project will most likely fall into his hands and he does not know the stack. I calmly mentioned that I would gladly take care of it if given the opportunity as well as to explain to him how the code works and provide training to everyone for it :D I also (in all of my greatness) built the same program for him in PHP. Now, I outrank him :P so the scold bounced out of the window, plus he is a friend, but the fact remains that we reached the situation in which the performance as well as the benefits of one stack were shadowed by the fact that it holds a more esoteric place in the development community.

In the end I am happy to provide the PHP codebase to him. The head of the department + my boss were already impressed with the fact that I was able to build the product in a small amount of time using a potent tech stack, they know where my abilities are and what I can do. That to me was all that matters, even if the project gets shelved, the fact that I was able to use it at work for something means a lot to me.

That and I got permission to use it for the things that will happen with my new department + the collective interest of everyone in paying me to give support even if I ever leave the institution.

Win.

A 40 ish woman who works with economics said "you don' know anything about AI because you're only 16". I then proceeded to show her my shitty AI me and my friend made and explained how it worked. (It was really shit but would still consider it an AI)

She just stood there and was pretending to understand so when I was done explaining about it, I told her not to assume you're smarter than a 16 year old just because you're older and have read some article about AI on The Daily Mail.

Just learning but this is beautiful and feels at home

Someone here on devrant that used to go under the name LetMeCode ranted about php and said how much they'd rather work with the Phoenixframework.

Love on first sight. Studied Elixir to get a job as an elixir dev and got my first and current job right after graduating high school.

So yeah, that rant might have changed my life. Saved me from becoming a java or php dev for sure!

I started at a company to develop an "uber" clone. Hired by the company's cto. I was happy initially as i had been unemployed for a while but that's because i didn't see the shitstorm coming. The task was build this using php, well 2 weeks later and db locking issues because mysql only allows 100 connections and the website takes over 200mb per request, i tried using the meteor framework, a lil better but the orphaned process would require me to reboot every 2 days. So enter erlang, built in 3 weeks works amazing problems none here... Well in comes the cto (which came in once a week). Apparently he had been reviewing my code and didn't understand it. He couldn't understand no for loops etc and demanded that it be made understandable to a normal dev. Did normal devs write uber no. Anyhow i spent the next 6 Weeks refactoring trying to make elixir looks like imperative programming, he finally gave up, so now I'm deep committed writing an API, finish in a week cto comes in and "why aren't you using patch" i don't need it, well another day implanting a patch api that will never be used. Ok done. Now we have a meeting with the investors who i worked in the same building with and they want a frontend built. I explained i was a backend dev and they needed a uiux expert. Next week cto comes back with this jquery fire pit and stolen bootstrap theme and take me with implementing it. This time we scrap the api change some of the backend logic and implement rest from the 90s one static page per request. After 3 months working with jquery I'm let go because of finical issues. I told them i was a backend dev but they didn't listen if the cto would've gotten a frontend expert things would be different but what to expect from a cto who's coding legacy is creating WordPress plugins.

Hopefully things will be better soon I'm tired of living on the streets.

You know that Elixir takes documentation very serious when you only have around 120 lines on a Module and 110 are from documentation.

UltraDark - A blockchain written in elixir that is fast, anonymous, and scriptable.

I finally got to updating my old laptop when I saw a post about Ubuntu 18.04 being released. What do you guys think of it?

Got my first PR merged into a library for a new language(Elixir) I started working on!! Wah pah!! 😎

So this Customer wanted me to migrate his Elixir code into php , just because their senior left the company and no one know how to write elixir programme for server side.

TO me this is a downgrade .... Elixir to php .. just wow

Primarily IntelliJ IDEs.

I'm using IDEA for Rust & Kotlin, PHPStorm, Datagrip (DB), and sometimes PyCharm CE.

IDEs can feel a bit dirty with how heavy they are, and the lack of customization/control. But at the end of the day there's just nothing that can measure up against IntelliJ's inspections, integrations and project indexing.

My ideal product would be one universal IntelliJ IDE, but combined with the openness of VSCode/Atom, having everything transparently configurable through stylesheets and scripts.

As an editor though.... I use Vim for LaTeX, Markdown, plain text and Haskell code... but not so much for other programming languages.

Vim was my first editor when I moved from C64 to PC development 25 years ago, and while you get used to balancing keybind vimgolfing with being actually productive, i've always found maintaining plugins and profiles too cumbersome -- the reality is that Vim is an awesome TEXT editor, but it's really awful as a CODE editor out of the box.

When you want to try out a new programming language, you don't want to have to mess around with your Vimrc and Vundle and YCM for half a day just so you can comfortably write "Hello World" in Rust or Elixir... you just want to click one install button, press F10 to compile and see if it flies.

Oh, and I use Xed a lot for quickly editing files... because it's the default GUI editor on Mint desktops, and it's quite good at being a basic notepad.

Why does every Software Engineering role at the top companies never have PHP or any functional languages in it’s list of languages they want you to be experienced in?

It’s always Java, Python, C#, C/C++, Objective C or Ruby. What about Elixir, Scala, Haskell or Clojure?

So... I cannot find me an internship which uses low level languages ( like c, c++ ) or something like elixir, rust, haskell... the only internships available are in mobile and web development...

Don’t know what to do anymore... it’s annoying, and so so frustrating... and I NEED an internship if I wanna get a college degree...

Uhhhh 👌👌

I prefer functional style programming because it is easier to me to think in modules and functional hierarchies than it is object style shierarchies.

All in all, languages like F# and Clojure have always been fascinating to me. I wish I could find a use case for Haskell, but I can't. If anything F# is awesome to me because I already know .NET and really dig the entire framework, the strides made by Core are outstanding.

I had tried Scala before and just couldn't get into it. Far easier to just stick to Java even if I hate the idea of extending classes all over the place.

Ocaml is interesting too, but I know little to nothing about it, and Elixir looks far too much like Ruby for my taste even if I do like Ruby.

Choice is good, but sometimes overwhelming

>Get java "From zero to hero" book at the age of 12
>Follow along and despair at all the java jargon
>write small programs for fun
>ff to 14yo
>Get my first android phone (galaxy S3)
>Get android 4.0 book
>Follow along and despair at all the android jargon
>Develop small apps for fun
>Learn Java, C and python for the rest of high school
>discover functional programming (erlang/elixir) towards the end of highschool
>love_at_first_sight.jpg
>Learn said language
>Find first job and current job right after that
>happy

My journey with IT learnings, Some of Major learning changes. The following are the years in which I start learning given technology or domain.

1993 Birth
1999 #HTML
2001 #PHP + Foxpro
2001 #Haskell language
2002 BASIC
2002 #8088 Assembly
2003 #Linux
2007 Visual #Foxpro
2009 #C Language
2010 #Python
2011 #JAVA for mobile #development
2015 Virtual Machines
2016 Networking
2018 #Blockchain
2019 #Elixir & Phoenix
2019 #DevOps

I'm curious, why did they rename Laravel Elixir to Laravel Mix?

Ah, developers, the unsung heroes of caffeine-fueled coding marathons and keyboard clacking symphonies! These mystical beings have a way of turning coffee and pizza into lines of code that somehow make the world go 'round.

Have you ever seen a developer in their natural habitat? They huddle in dimly lit rooms, surrounded by monitors glowing like magic crystals. Their battle cries of "It works on my machine!" echo through the corridors, as they summon the mighty powers of Stack Overflow and Google to conquer bugs and errors.

And let's talk about the coffee addiction – it's like they believe caffeine is the elixir of code immortality. The way they guard their mugs, you'd think it's the Holy Grail. In fact, a developer without coffee is like a computer without RAM – it just doesn't function properly.

But don't let their nerdy exteriors fool you. Deep down, they're dreamers. They dream of a world where every line of code is bug-free and every user is happy. A world where the boss understands what "just one more line of code" really means.

Speaking of bosses, developers have a unique ability to turn simple requests into complex projects. "Can you make a small tweak?" the boss asks innocently. And the developer replies, "Sure, it's just a minor change," while mentally calculating the time it'll take and the potential for scope creep.

Let's not forget their passion for acronyms. TLA (Three-Letter Acronym) is their second language. API, CSS, HTML, PHP, SQL... it's like they're playing a never-ending game of Scrabble with abbreviations.

And documentation? Well, that's their arch-nemesis. It's as if writing clear instructions is harder than debugging quantum mechanics. "The code is self-explanatory," they claim, leaving everyone else scratching their heads.

In the end, developers are a quirky bunch, but we love them for it. Their quirks and peculiarities are what make them the creative, brilliant minds that power our digital world. So here's to developers, the masters of logic and the wizards of the virtual realm!

I'm trying to learn functional programming with Elixir. Wish me luck.

Why do people compare languages? Like C++ vs JAVA, C++ vs Python, C++ vs Elixir?
All languages are best in their own specific use-cases. So why we need to compare all this stuff?

Or might be I am wrong.

I'm starting to love pattern matching in #Elixir

C++ is a spiritual language.

I am getting the feeling of being a saint,
my mind seems to be in a whole new dimension,
My soul seemed to be out of my body for a few minutes,
and I can feel a sparkling elixir flowing throughout my body.

All these, after I grasp concepts such as functors, operator overloading, and container adaptors in C++

I just found this in my "Religious views" info on FB, thought I would share it even tho it's just a paste from somewhere. Don't slaughter me if this is a reoccuring thing on here😂

THE 0x17'RD PSALM

The Computer is my taskmaster; I need not think.
He maketh me to write flawless reports
He leadeth me with Computer-Aided Instruction
He restoreth my jumbled files
He guideth me through the program with menus.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of
the endless GOTO,
I will fear no error messages;
For thy User's Manual is with me.

Thy disk drive and thy Pac-Man-they comfort me.
Thou displayest a spreadsheet program before me
in the presence of my supervisor.

Thou enableth the printout;
the floor runneth over (with paper).
Surely good jobs and good pay shall follow me
All the days of my life;

And I shall access your CPUs, forever.

Finally got a new role from testautomation to Embedded sw dev. I will also have to learn Rust for embedded and elixir for web facing side, which is nice!

Why am I a horrible person for following standard linting and thus not using semicolon in my JavaScript code? I write Golang and Elixir which they don't have them and thus it is for me more natural to not have them in JS as well.

Oh wow Elixir, you are so fancy and beautiful. Where have you been hiding! Can i take you out some time? Maybe a small project? 🤓

I'm learning python3 right now, advises or exercises to practice? I want to learn machine learning. I'm developng on elixir for now. But I hear good stuff about python.

Laptop Stickers, Just elixir left. All other done. Now thinking to add DevRant sticker also.

How the Common Lisp Community will eventually die soon:

Clojure is the only main Lisp dialect having some sort of heavy presence in today's modern development world. Yes, I am aware of other(if not all) environments in which Lisp or a dialect of it is being used for multiple things, CADLisp, Guile Scheme, Racket, etc etc whatever. I know.

Not only is Clojure present in the JVM(I give 0 fucks about whether you like it or not also) but also has compilation targets for Javascript via Clojurescript. This means that i can effectively target backend server operations, damn near everything inside of the JVM and also the browser.
Yet, there is no real point in using Lisp or Clojure other than for pure academic endeavours, for which it is not even a pure functional programming language, you would be better served learning something else if you want true functional purity. But also because examples for one of the major areas in software development, mainly web, are really lacking, like, lacking bad, as in, so bad most examples are few in between and there is no interest in making it target complete beginners or anything of the like.

But my biggest fucking gripe with Lisp as a whole, specifically Common Lisp, is how monstrously outdated the documentation you can find available for it is.

Say for example, aesthetics, these play a large role, a developer(web mostly) used to the attention to detail placed by the Rails community, the Laravel community, django, etc etc would find on documentation that came straight from the 90s. There is no passion for design, no attention to detail, it makes it look hacky and abandoned. Everything in Lisp looks so severely abandoned for which the most abundant pool of resources are not even made present on a fully general purpose language constrained as a scripting environment for a text editor: Emacs with Emacs Lisp which I reckon is about the most used Lisp dialect in the planet, even more so than Clojure or Common Lisp.

I just want the language to be made popular again y'know? To have a killer app or framework for it much like there is Rails for Ruby, Phoenix for Elixir, etc etc. But unless I get some serious hacking done to bring about the level of maturity of those frameworks(which I won't nor I believe I can) then it will always remain a niche language with funny syntax.

To be honest I am phasing away my use of Clojure in place of Pharo. I just hate seeing how much the Lisp community does in an effort to keep shit as obscure and far away from the reach of new developers as possible. I also DESPISE reading other Lisp developer's code. Far too fucking dense and clever for anyone other than the original developer to read and add to. The idea that Lisp allows for read only code is far too real man.

Lisp has been DED for a while, and the zombies that remain will soon disappear because the community was too busy playing circle jerks for anything real to be done with it. Even as the original language of AI it has been severely outshined by the likes of Python, R and Scala, shit, even Javascript has more presence in AI than Lisp does now a days.

Dear hex.pm website, please fire the developer who programmed this email and employ me. I grantee you I am better than this asshole.

The company that I work for just opted for PHP in favor of Elixir, Node and Scala(Akka really) for building a high-concurrency system, because we have more people who work with PHP (mediocre skill really). How do we convince our team leads and higher-order beings by the hierarchy to try newer (or at least better suited) technologies? Good luck popening and pthreading stuff on this project I guess.

Learning Elixir this Weekend, it's amazes me how powerful and logical it is...

I used to love my job, the guy that looked forward to mondays, there was always something new to learn, I was passionate about clean code and learning new languages like Elixir. As a software engineer I thought my occupation had a special significance in this world, I saw possibility and potential of creating something so impactful on the world that it would become my legacy.

Now after 5 years I’m realising that none of this stuff really matters to the world, software engineers aren’t special and it’s evident from our salaries how valuable we are compared to other professions in sales, medicine or law. My friend who works as in customer success management makes more than me.

While some of us will be in the lucky few whose work will change the world, most of us will just be another cog in the wheel, all that matters is how many product/features you ship out, nobody gives a shit about code quality, concurrency and architecture design other than us

My life as a developor is totally changed by the introduction to #Elixir
Its hard to stop learning... :)

Hey everyone!

This is really two things in one:
1). Asking about a good gaming laptop.
2). Follow up on a post I made a while back asking for suggestions for new programming languages to learn

So right now I have a surface pro 3 i7 256gb, it's great for development, but not so great for gaming (Overwatch).
Saw the Razer Blade Stealth and thought it looked pretty nifty. Suggestions?

Also I would like to say a big thank you to all the people who told me about some really cool new languages, like Crystal, Elixir..etc.
Thanks everyone!

Alright everyone. Who uses elixir and how do you like it? Thinking of writing a fairly large application using elixir and Phoenix

Learn Rust and Elixir because of my hopefully new and exciting role. I want to become production ready developer for these languages as quickly as possible. But more than anything I want my new role not making me hate my profession.

And also I would like to start a long duration relationship. Can’t have it all though.

Nothing quite like some late-night Elixir. Honestly the most fun language I have ever used (yes, more fun than Ruby)

¿Why people hate PHP so much? I love it since it was my first web dev lang and I fell in love with it, however, I decided to move to another language since apparently It's going to die, not saying tomorrow but eventually. I'm not sure which language to pick (between Python (django, pyramid), Elixir (Phoenix) or Ruby (RoR). Any suggestions?
Also, what language you use and do you like PHP?

I'm still pretty new to elixir and functional programming. There have been numerous cases where I accidentally recreated functions such as Enumerable.map 😅

When I realised ruby on rails doesn't serve requests fast enough. It's response times are in 100s of milliseconds while the corresponding framework in elixir serves requests that are sometimes around 100 microseconds

Just started this (personal project) project a 2 minutes ago... I'm so turned on now , because this project in ELIXIR!😍

It wasn't really the project itself, but more the execution of it

Last semester we were tasked with writing a new programming language from scratch. We were a team of six people, everything went great to begin with. We discussed language features, the framework runtime it should run on and even what language to write it in.

Fast forward two weeks, nobody is doing anything but me, the two dudes tasked with helping me were both no-shows and the others were busy documenting the syntax and semantics of the language.

I basically ended up having to write the whole language myself with no breaks no help and no guidance.

A few weeks before deadline I completely burned out and couldn't do anything other than just sit and stare at the code; mentally exhausted and not in a mood to do anything other than doing mindless unrelated tasks. But alas work had to get done.

And it did get done... Sorta.
Our beautiful statically typed, statically scoped concurrent programming language that was supposed to compile to BEAM code was neither statically typed, statically scoped, and the output ended up being half-working elixir code that only worked on the most specific of cases.

I don't want to work with those guys again.

Being a full stack developer has been an amazing journey. Looking at a project and understanding how the entire stack work starting from the mobile apps, APIs and DB is a total bless.

Nevertheless, lately switching context between modern languages has been extremely frustrating.

Swift looks like kotlin, elixir looks like ruby. Hell even swift and ruby are very similar.

Writing ruby in Xcode and wondering why the fuck Xcode complaining. Well no shit, swift is not ruby. Took me 5 mins of head scratching to notice it 😢

Hell I am now writing down the latest language I am working with on my hand to keep track 😂

3 weeks into Elixir and Functional programming in general. Words can't describe how much I love developing software with this toolset. Can this get any better ?

I've been in the world of code for about three years now, introduced into it through a design project.

However, I've only just started to actually write code and there's SO much I need to learn. SO much I hadn't even heard of.

You'd think managing a project would expose you to the extremities and the specifics of development but nope, it doesnt, atleast for the project / product manager.

My previous "liking" for code is clearly now turning into a "passion" as instead of watching live streams on Twitch, I'm watching "An introduction to Elixir" / "WTF is Meteor."

Been writing a webcrawler to be integrated into Rails and possibly Phoenix (in the future)..
Friend A: Heyyyy. Woah. You speak Latin?
Friend B: Dude he's a hacker bruh.
Friend C: Omgomgomg can you hack J****'s FB?
Me: Guys. It's just code. (¬_¬)

This place should also be used to show some love.

elixir Lang 😍😍😍😍

Elixir/Phoenix developers, what are your opinions on Ruby/Rails and vice-versa?

(Not trying to start a war here 😅, just some heathy discussion)

Things I want to accomplish in 2023:

- learn rust
- learn a functional programming language (elixir probably)
- finish the O'Reilly book about microservices
- learn and contribute to gnunet
- read at least other 2 books about SE

Regarding the last point, I've always underestimated SE books.

When we have Python,Ruby,Elixir,Scala,Clojure,Js
why we should use PHP LARAVEL ?
i cant understand persons which use php & laravel
why u use php or laravel ? how its possible to use php-laravel instead of cool things like Django -ROR ? Are u crazy ?

Just started learning elixir with Phoenix. Damn it’s nice. Love the syntax of elixir

it's too damn early for screaming at code but I did anyway.

😱😱

Python is my wife, Elixir is my sexy girlfriend. While I love my life, the gf presents me what my wife cant. ReactJs/Rxjs is a lovely classic porn. The question is: what the fuck devRant is here???

Almost 2022 , I am still confuse why the f### the company downgrade the project from elixir phoenix to nodejs to laravel php.

I have already been a big fan of Elixir for some time now, but seeing this during my inquiry into Elixir's official catalog of documentation has defanitely galvanized my already colorful opinion of this grate language.

A programming language built in Elixir

What BackEnd framework you used and Why?

I will go first, I use Phoenix (Elixir) because it is Fast and high tolerance on errors. I used ASP.NET because I am forced to. (Company choice)

I can't get over the fact that my company downgraded the project from Elixir Phoenix to nodejs express.

I asked them why, they told me, the elixir is difficult and blablabla. In my resume, I did mention I have the experience for 2 and a half years (phoenix one year) , I can do that. and previously the senior here used elixir for scalibility , etc. Personally, the system he built weren't bad at all.

now in nodejs , with the async await promise shit.

but 'we prefer old tech' they say . old is gold they say .

Wait nodejs isn't old. To me elixir is like Ruby and Erlang had sex and gave birth to it and named it elixir.

Favorite functional programming language and why. Go!

Well I begint to realise that Elixir looks like ruby .....

(I'm not completely sure of what I'm saying here, so don't take this too seriously)

Settling on a language to write the api for ranterix is hard.

I'm finding a lot of things about elixir to be insanely good for a stable api.

But I'm having a lot of gripes with the most important elixir web framework, phoenix.

Take a look at this piece of code from the phoenix docs:

defmodule Hello.Repo.Migrations.CreateUsers do
use Ecto.Migration
def change do
create table(:users) do
add :name, :string
add :email, :string add :bio, :string
add :number_of_pets, :integer
timestamps()
end
end
end

Jesus christ, I hate this shit.

Wtf are create, add and timestamps. Add is somehow valid inside the create, how the fuck is that considered good code? What happens if you call timestamps twice? It's all obscure "trust me, it works" code.

It appears to be written by a child.

js may have a million problems. But one thing I like about CJS (require) or ESM (import) is that there's nothing unexplained. You know where the fuck most things come from.

You default export an eatShit() function on one file and import it from another, and what do you get?
The goddamn actual eatShit function.

require is a function the same way toString is a function and it returns whatever the fuck you had exported in the target file.

Meanwhile some dynamic langs are like "oh, I'll just export only some lang construct that i expect you to specify and put that shit in fucking global of the importing file".

Js is about the fucking freedom. It won't decide for you what things will files export, you can export whatever the fuck you want, strings, functions, classes, objects or even nothing at all, thanks to module.exports object or export statement.

And in js, you can spy on anything external, for example with (...args) => debugger; fnToSpyOn(...args)

You can spoof console.log this way to see what the fuck is calling it (note: monkey patching for debugging = GOOD, for actual programming = DOGSHIT)

To be fair though, that is possible because of being a dynamic lang and elixir is kind of a hybrid typed lang, fair enough.

But here's where i drop the shit.

Phoenix takes it one step further by following the braindead ruby style of code and pretty DSLs.

I fucking hate DSLs, I fucking hate abstraction addiction.

Get this, we're not writing fucking poetry here. We're writing programs for machines for them to execute.

Machines are not humans with emotions or creativity, nor feel.

We need some level of abstraction to save time understanding source code, sure.

But there has to be a balance. Languages can be ergonomic for humans, but they also need to be ergonomic for algorithms and machines.

Some of the people that write "beautiful" "zen" code are the folks that think that everyone who doesn't push the pretty code agenda is a code elitist that doesn't want "normal" people to get into programming.

Programming is hard, man, there's no fucking way around it.

Sometimes operating system or even hardware details bleed into code.

DSLs are one easy way to make code really really easy to understand, but also make it really fucking hard to debug or to lose "programming meaning".

I just got into elixir and i want to build something just to practice the language. Suggest me something please cause I don't really know what to do...

Elixir is awesome 😎, why didn't I get the chance to work on this before.

Not nice, Plug… not nice! You define a Plug Module with 2 functions (init/1 & call/2) and the result of init/1 is passed in as the second argument of call/2… but init/1 is executed in compile time and call/2 in runtime.
WHY?!?!
I can't think of any other behavior that… well… behaves that way!

It's not even in the official docs (¬_¬)

What do you think of Elixir + Phoenix to build API’s? Is it a better choice than a more established language like Python or something more new like Scala or Clojure?

At my company we're going through a watershed moment where we're starting to discuss and think about re-building our digital foundations and nothing is off limits. I'm leading the discussion about our architecture where everyone can have their say into what the future looks like for our applications. We're currently on a Drupal (CMS)  + PHP7/Symfony (Backend Content Repository) + Symfony Twig templates (Frontend)

Even though I have been developing in PHP most of my career, I personally love Elixir and spend a lot of my time away from work learning it but many of my reasons feels subjective like pattern matching, it's actor concurrency model, immutable data and not having to deal with classes/objects, and I'm not entirely sure how that translates to business value, advocating successfully for a tech stack change requires solid reasoning and good answers to challenges like how do we find Elixir developers when existing devs leave, how easy is it to build a CI/CD pipeline for Elixir/Phoenix, etc.

Screw you bash 🤡

Flame war:
Best functional language + eco system for web dev -
F#, Haskell, Scala, elixir, other?
Same for scientific/mathematical simulations?

I did a small project in Python a while ago (like 8 months) and today i did it in Elixir, this time I felt a lot more satisfied with the result. Supervisors actually make me feel safe, I fucking love this lang :'-)

Change of technology. There's one time that the team can't decide what tech to use. So after 2 years of production suddenly we moved from Nodejs to Elixir for server side and MySql to Cassandra for database ... It is crazy that time...

So learning a new language it was so difficult as elixir is functional ... (And I was sucks back then) , and Cassandra is something new to me , which is difficult.

(Hey bit now it is ok )

I want to try out the dvorak layout but I'm a bit unsure if it's worth it. Anyone who has changed from qwerty to dvorak who could tell me about their experience? Is it faster than qwerty? Is it easy to learn?

Just did an elixir job interview for tsg global, 10 hr test, got the email of fuck you email. Do not fuck with this company they will scam you out of your time i should have spent my 10 hrs wiser lesson learned, im going to be a homeless elixir dev with 20 yrs exp. All cuz parasitic companiess like this. I submitted a prod ready solution that was most likely what they wanted built and i did fir free cuz i dont wanna be homeless. I hate life.

VP: We need to build a new platform for flexibility!

Architect: Let's do micro services!

One year later...

Now we have "micro services" in Elixir, Go, Node.js and PHP.

Not to mention our prehistorical products in Erlang and PHP...

So this week should be interesting. I am working on a (potentially) very large project for my current client and need to build a service that somewhat replicates the functionality of heroku (in that it needs to be able to load an app built in one of several languages, and spin it up in a docker container).

Unlike Heroku, however, each application also needs to be able to have a list of public and private (internal only) API routes listed and be able to dynamically route requests to the correct routes on in those containers. (Sorry if this is confusing)

Does this sound challenging and amazing? Absolutely! Do I think I may be in over my head? Yes, yes I do.

Has anyone ever built or worked with something similar?

I mainly using react/svelte + node on making web projects, but I wanted to learn new things outside JS environment. Should I learn RoR(Ruby) or Phoenix(Elixir)?

P.S. I will learn the language first before jumped into the framework

Seiously though , Javascript Developer community are toxic shit! All I did was asked a question regarding the syntax.

They started to curse me and call me names , like what the fuck? I just want to know some syntax. Dont have to be an arse.

At least Elixir community is polite.

There's a time when I wrote a programme in Elixir which GitHub mistakenly thought my programme is in Ruby...

So I just changed from SublimeText to Atom and so far it's pretty neat. What do you guys think about Atom?

Elixir vs PHP

which one will you pick for Backend(server -side)

This one night over Christmas break I was drinking with a few friends from the program when I decided to take out my laptop and learn Elixir. I kept saying I need to learn more or I wasn't gonna get a job 👌

Lol, why the fuck would you do this.

What do you think about Elixir/Phoenix?

Can't decide which language to pick up as a hobby. Common Lisp or Haskell? There's also Elixir. Tough choice.

Hee guys I will be running Ubuntu/Debian as my main development environment. Which distro is the best for development with k8s, docker and elixir?

Thanks for in the input guys! Really appreciate it!

This is the weirdest thing that have happened to me related to computers... When I connect an ethernet cable to my computer and I use the iex command (Interactive Elixir or elixir console, whatever) on my terminal it takes about 6 seconds to load but when I disconnect the cable and use iex again it starts instantly, like, what the fuck. This happens with any Elixir command. I've had this problem for several days and honestly I didn't know why it was taking so long to load.

Want to start learning a new language (non-webdev), but can't decide between Rust, Elixir and Golang.
Any thoughts or comments?

Have you made anything with Elixir? If so, what made you use Elixir for creating it?

ooooo elixir

it's cool!

If anyone else is going to be at ElixirConf in Washington this week, let me know! I'd love to meet some of you!

In the last days, my developer was working with different kinds of databases.
He uses a database, named TimeScale DB (Timescale). This is the plugin of a famous SQL database PostgreSQL.

He imports the same data in PostgreSQL and timescale DB.

Size in Timescale DB is = 24KB
Size in Simple PostgreSQL = 166MB

This is the record of 1000000 rows, 12 columns.

Data fetching is the same on both databases, But if we fetch time-based data, (e.g 2 days, 24 hours, From Date to Date) we have a 50% to 200% difference depending on the query. python3 & elixir is also working fine with DB.

Results are also nearly the same with InfluxDB.

For a specific use-case, we have software that is handling Simple and time-series data at the same time. If anyone wants to suggest something new, Also tell us.

Does anybody use Elixir in production?

If so, what type of an application did you build with Elixir?

Why do we all say "in production." How many people here use Elixir "in production." I don't know where I would use programming besides in the process of producing something. Why don't we say "In a live application?" (serious question)

Damn, .NET devs are really and I mean really bad at writing documentation. It is either over-engineered (anything from Microsoft) to the point you can't find shit. Or it is almost non existent and you have to study the repo and read classes, etc. (ANY .net core nuget for writing CLI apps, heck I would argue almost any nuget in general)

4 pages on github WIKI + examples that cover 20% of use cases are not a bloody documentation mate!!!

I used to be linux + any of Python/Go/JS/Ruby/Elixir guy and almost never had problems with poor documentation.

Now living in Microsoft world with .net and powershell is terrifying.

I believe that there's some evil dark magic in the BEAM that detects if the user or developer is on a non *nix machine and then purposefully throws all kinds of strange errors or just fucking blows itself up for no reason. Take the shit to a *nix machine and it just works like magic and is easy to work with which is part of the reason why I love it and the ecosystem.

I'm enjoying learning Elixir:

MyFear(Elixir)
|> Udemy(Awesome_Elixir_Couse)
|> Phoenix.Framework
|> Awesome.App

Feeling #empowered, sharing some elixir love...

!Rant

So today a friend told me how he create a ML programme in PHP... (I am not hard core PHP guy , btw I am hardcore elixir guy).

So guys it is possible ML for PHP , anyone do it before? (Something like Runic?)

I finally convinced my customer to move from WordPress to something else... Elixir? Nodejs? I'm not sure yet but I feel awesome!

Can someone rant about elixir here?I need some unbiased views.

Is comparing Erlang to Elixir the same as comparing Perl with PHP?

As an Elixir developer , would like to code in Rails , but the setup for rails is really painful.

Well at least in elixir phoenix are much more simple.

Is there a better way for the installation of rails?

Is it a good idea to learn Elixir?

Anyone use Elixir, if so what do you use it for. I need an excuse to learn it.

did anyone here use phoenix liveview ? if yes, how is compared to other frameworks you used ?

I want to learn a new front and back end webdev language. So far, I've found Dart and TypeScript (though this one is not completely new to me) on the front end side, and Go, Elixir and Rust on the back end side. As I don't have too much free time, I can choose one of both sides for now, but I can't decide which ones to go with, since I can read so many pro-contra opinions.
I only need to choose for the skill, I don't have any specific target, I just want to learn new stuff.
Which ones do you suggest?

I know this is a recurring question. What language to learn in 2018?
Kotlin, scala, elixir, rust, go, ...?
I need something practical and preferably a language that at least partially supports functional programming patterns. Oh and also I don't want to learn Haskell. Thanks.

Dev goals for 2019:

At least one substantial tech blog post per month (no rain-checks allowed)

Do whatever it takes to have Elixir as the focus of my day job instead of .Net

Seriously, Elixir Community is the most friendly group of people I have ever deal with, in reddit or the Elixir Forum. I beginning to love elixir because of the supportive community <3

Elixir, Phoenix, PostgreSQL, GraphQL, ReactJS and Redux.

Anything missing on this stack to be perfect? 🤔

Any Elixir devs out there ?

I started learning Elixir to explore distributed computing.

Need more inputs.

I was laid off last week due to economic issues in my company. Can you give me an idea of what the job market is like right now? I'm a full-stack developer with 6 years of experience in RoR, Elixir Phoenix, and JavaScript front-end frameworks like ReactJS and Vue. I have 15 days left of my 30-day notice period, and I haven't been able to secure an interview yet. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Any Erlang guys over here ?

I am getting into it after trying elixir, just to get solid foundations (understand it better and otp)

The goal is to get erlang elixir and pheonix undercontrol

Now my questions:

Any good reads about maintenance scalability in a prod environment ?

Thanks

This post is going to be long and it might not be the platform to ask for it's mainly for ranting yet I wanted to ask a non toxic community.
I'm mainly an ABAP programmer working on an SAP system for my living. No matter how people inside the SAP sphere look at it, it's not exactly cutting edge technology in the world of software development. (and in my opinion it's not even a knife)
As I work in an enterprise environment I have trouble about finding gaps where I can learn newer technologies and thus, I've decided to learn in my free time.
I tend to tilt toward web development as do many I know because I see potential in the GUI which HTML and CSS achieve. And I do believe that combining that with languages such as JS, Python, Ruby, Erlang and Elixir can give way to a healthy experience both in Web development and even desktop development.
In order to avoid overwhelming myself I wish to start with learning web development. Time is not of the essence because I plan to continue working with ABAP for close future, around the next 2 years, and I'm young.
I wanted to ask the community, is there any developer in here that was in the same position and can give out some pointers to the path they took? Is it wise to start my path from HTML5 and CSS3 without looking back to the older ways? Any resource you'd share will be welcomed.

Make a full application in elixir with Phoenix frameworks

Deeper understanding of functional programming

Any Erlang/Elixir devs in the UK looking for a position in a multinational company?