I JUST DELETED MY LIVE MYSQL SERVER

I DON'T KNOW IF WE HAVE BACKUPS

Interviewer: So you worked with mysql?

Me: yes, for over 6 years

Interviewer: so, you know how to write queries?

Too much stupid today..

Client: "Our server is almost full, fix it"

Me: "Okay, you can upgrade the VM, or I can see if theres anything that can be cleaned up?"

C: "Clean it up"

Me: *Finds 5 extra MySQL DB's that amount to 50-60GB in total*

Me: "Well I can remove some of your extra databases, and some of the local backups, as they're also backed up offsite. They're currently unused and dated back to the beginning of 2017, everything is out of date anyways."

C: "No"

Me: "Okay, is there a reason?"

C: "No"

Me: "Okay, so we'll upgrade the VM?"

C: "No"

Me: "I'm sorry, but those are really your two options"

C: "Just fix it"
...................
...................
...................
What in the ducking fuck !@#$#%?
If you're so fuggin smart, then why do they pay me?
I'm clearly stupid and unable to read your mind.

Yesterday I managed to optimize a query...
Went from 43 seconds to 0.0702 seconds.

For some reason mysql decided to copy the data of 4 huge tables into a temp table and do its operations there... (the copying to temp tale took 42/43 seconds)

Two composite indexes later and I saved the company hours of time over the course of a few months.

Feels good.

It nearly give me an heart attack: mysequel

When I was an intern, I wrote a very heavy MySQL query with multiple joins. Quite frustrated, I asked for some help from one of my seniors.

He came by on my desk and told me, "Explain your query!".

I was completely blank-faced O_O.

After a few moments, the senior grabbed this hopeless bastard's keyboard and typed "EXPLAIN" in the beginning of the query; and then ran it.

I thought he was being hard to me.

Am I the only one who doesn't like calling MySQL as "my sequel"?

Fun fact: Michael Widenius named "MySQL" after his daughter My. When MySQL was acquired by sun, he decided to start a new open source database, "MariaDB", named after his second daughter Maria.

This guy is (partially) responsible for two of the largest databasesystems in the world.

Imagine his daughters apply for a database engineering job one day. During application process: "One of the largest databases in the world was named after me..." 😂

Who killed MySQL?

Forever Alone :'(

Well, even MySQL server left. Hope it has found a better host

I have to let it out. It's been brewing for years now.

Why does MySQL still exist?

Really, WHY?!
It was lousy as hell 8 years ago, and since then it hasn't changed one bit. Why do people use it?

First off, it doesn't conform to standards, allowing you to aggregate without explicitly grouping, in which case you get god knows what type of shit in there, and then everybody asks why the numbers are so weird.

Second... it's $(CURRENT_YEAR) for fucks sake! This is the time of large data sets and complex requirements from those data sets. Just an hour through SO will show you dozens of poor people trying to do with MySQL what MySQL just can't do because it's stupid.

Recursion? 4 lines in any other large RDBMS, and tough luck in MySQL. So what next? Are you supposed to use Lemograph alongside MySQL just because you don't know that PostgreSQL is free and super fast?

Window functions to mix rows and do neat stuff? Naaah, who the hell needs that, right? Who needs to find the products ordered by the customer with the biggest order anyway? Oh you need that actually? Well you should write 3-4 queries, nest them in an incredibly fucked up way, summon a demon and feed it the first menstrual blood of your virgin daughter.

There used to be some excuses in the past "but but but, shared hosting only has MySQL". Which was wrong by the way. This was true only for big hosting names, and for people who didn't bother searching for alternatives. And now it's even better, since VPS and PaaS solutions are now available at prices lower than shared hosting, which give you better speed, performance and stability than shared hosting ever did.

"But but but Wordpress uses MySQL" - well then kill it! There are other platforms out there, that aren't just outrageously horrible on the inside and outside. Wordpress is crap, and work on it pays crap. Learn Laravel, Symfony, Zend, or even Drupal. You'll be able to create much more value than those shitty Wordpress sites that nobody ever visits or pay money on.

"But but but my client wants some static pages presented beside their online shop" - so why use Wordpress then? Static pages are static pages. Whip up a basic MVC set-up in literally any framework out there, avoid MySQL, include a basic ACL package for that framework, create a controller where you add a CKEditor to edit page content, and stick a nice template from themeforest for that page and be done with that shit! Save the mock-up for later use if you do that stuff often. Or if you're lazy to even do that, then take up Drupal.

But sure, this is going a bit over the scope. I actually don't care where you insert content for your few pages. It can be a JSON file for all I care. But if I catch you doing an e-commerce solution, or anything else than just text storage, on MySQL, I'll literally start re-assessing your ability to think rationally.

I remember some years ago when a professor asked -
"What is the difference between SQL and MySQL?"

And one of the students answered -
Uh... I don't know... SQL is more like a general SQL and MySQL is a personal SQL...

:|

When we found out MySQL utf8 isn't actually utf8..... it's a proprietary subset of utf8 that only includes up to Unicode 255..... and there is a separate "utf8mtb4" that is actual utf8.

10 years challenge. GGWP
MVC = MySQL Vue Codeigniter 😂

My local MySql: "root"/""

FML. An overreaching supergenius "architect" and a database team:

A: "We have decided that apps should use mysql. Install a MySQL so we match cloud"
DBA: "we don't have an image or experience with MySQL. We have mssql and Oracle "
A: "ok, use mssql in data center and mysql in production cloud"
DBA: "that's... not going to work well"
A: "just do it!"

...

Me, reading this shit, sends email: "ignoring the fact that we have more than 500 queries in this application which will need to be checked and most likely rewritten, how are we supposed to test the mysql queries without production access?"
A: "just use mssql local and MySQL in cloud"
M: "... Just to make sure I understand, you want us to write queries for mssql, test them locally, and then write separate queries, with a separate SQL connection abstraction that deploys to production? Again, how are we going to test this?"
A: "no, use same queries, should be fine"
M: "they really won't, they're different dialects"
A: "do the needful, make work!"

If karma were a thing, this person would have long since exploded into a cloud of atomized blood.

At the moment I'm trying to optimize a slow old MySQL query from a project I made several years ago. The execution time is in excess of 55 seconds. Not good :(

After about an hour of experimenting I finally set a good index and reduced the time to < 3 seconds.

Chuffed :)

Tonight I want to try to setup an openvpn server with mysql based authentication because I'd love to somehow setup/become a vpn provider.

Of course there's a huge ass legal part but let's first make sure I know the technology of the top of my head!

Just ranting this out because I'm excited 😊

3rd time pushing my MYSQL password to Github... 😂

It would be really FUCKING great if NodeJS or mysql could give me a FUCKING shout or ERROR MESSAGE when one of the parameters I'm giving is not the RIGHT FUCKING DATA TYPE INSTEAD OF THROWING A RANDOM ERROR THAT DOESN'T INDICATE A WRONG MOTHERFUCKING DATA TYPE. Five FUCKING hours of debugging later.

Am I the only one who reads mysql as "my sequel"?

MySQL Found on Jupiter by NASA :D

Who killed mysql?

How to deal with mysql errors :

Option 1 : Write better queries
Option 2 : ALTER TABLE

MySQL issues...

Most useless things are mysql error messages lol

Who can lend me his/her SQL? MySQL is showing an error 😂 😂

Who killed MySQL?? Your guesses... Was it Ruby, a fan of postgres? 😂

This is one of the most unexpected, silly and ridiculous behaviors of MySQL: it doesn't support LIMIT in sub-queries, however it perfectly supports it in sub-sub-queries. WTF.

Today, for fun, I wrote prime number generation upto 1000 using pure single MySQL query.

No already created tables, no procedures, no variables. Just pure SQL using derived tables.

So does this mean that pure SQL statements do not have the halting problem?

Putting an EXPLAIN over the query I could see how MySQL guessed that the total number of calculations would be 1000*1000 even before executing the query in itself and this is amazing ♥️

I have attached a screenshot of the query and if you are curious, I have also left below the plain text.

PS this was a SQL problem in Hackerrank.

MySQL query:

select group_concat(primeNumber SEPARATOR '&') from
(select numberTable.number as primeNumber from

(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as number from

(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by number) numberTable

inner join

(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as divisor from

(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by divisor) divisorTable

on (divisorTable.divisor<=numberTable.number and divisorTable.divisor!=1)
where numberTable.number%divisorTable.divisor=0
group by numberTable.number having count(*)<=1 order by numberTable.number) resultTable;

If I could!

Job interview.

Head of development: "I'm looking for the perfect php developer with perfect MySQL knowledge."

Me: "We'll ok. Good look with finding that unicorn. I think we are done here."

The problem with some people is that they are the gatekeepers for other people's careers and that they are begging to be bullshitted: "Yes of course I am the best of all php developers! And I don't only know MySQL but am pretty awesome in YourSQL as well!" As if I want to work in a team posers.

Job title :
"PHP and MySQL Programmer"

Job description :
"We are looking for a Flash Developer with a high level of proficiency developing ActionScript solutions.... bla bla Development in a 2D and 3D environment"

doesnt say ANYWHERE what is require to know in php nor mysql

EDIT: actually it does but why would they put php and mysql programmer if thats not the main things they are looking for

Setting up mysql_server and then forgetting the mysql root password 😀

Someone else's SQL

Job Qualifications:
...
Proficient in PHP, MySQL, and PHP Frameworks
Experience in Bootstrap CSS
...

Required Skill:
...
- PHP
- MySQL
- C <----------------- ??? The hell is this!
- C# <---------------- ??? What the?!
- CSS
...

Probably a startup company???

Task:
- Replace a 4 year old PHP API.
Old API:
- PHP script writing PHP scripts to /var/www/ for every endpoint needed
- Answers everthing with 200 (not even 404)
DB:
- MySQL 5.6
- ~ 1000 Tables, NO FUCKING FK's
Documentation:
- "Wasn't worth the effort"
New API:
- Not allowed to behave any different
.
.
.
😭

Apparently `= NULL` is not a thing in mysql, instead you have to use `IS NULL`... Took me a while to figure out why the fuck my query wasn't returning any results.

God damnit, me and mysql joins do NOT work together that well, this shit is like magic to me 😅

Fuck mysql charset shit. Pretty easy to forgot setting charset in server side config file. And after creating several databases/tables, boom! All in latin1. That's just so convenient. are you kidding me? Why would any modern database have their default charset to be latin1??? rather than utf8? Oh, just forgot again, that's utf8fuckingmb4 on mysql land.

Me trying to connect a MySQL DB with C++

Good morning people. Holidays in Malta. Trying to forget html, css, php, MySQL and JavaScript 🙂 ... But my heart is with you 😂

YAY a JOIN query (MySQL) just ran successfully at the first try for the first time of my life!! I never understood joins but slowly getting there I guess :)

I hate that, not only did this error happen, but they weren’t smart enough to hide the MySQL stack trace

MySQL should have a recycle bin. I just deleted whole "user" table by mistake... Forgot to add where clause properly... Had to restore 2 days old backup copy. I just hope no accounts were created or someone changed their password in last 2 days....

Me as Junior Dev doing mysql first time, specifically INSERT test data to test db, sucess on first try.

My Senior co-worker says: WOW, Baby's first INSERT...... that sounds so wrong out of context xD

When migrating from MySQL server to MariaDB and having a query start returning a completely different result set then what was expected purely because MariaDB corrected a bug with sub selects being sorted.

It took several days to identify all that was needed on that sub select was “limit 1” to get that thing to return the correct data, felt like an idiot for only having to do 7 character commit 😆

mysql server crashes every 18 days, no oom, no crash logs, no sigkill being sent (used auditd). so I figure it's a unknown corner case bug in mysql. now I use a cron job to restart the damn thing every week at 3am, not a problem anymore

Do Chinese still use MySql or they have OurSql??

MySQL Workbench - User friendliness at its worst.

Still not knowing by heart how to establish a MySQL PDO connection and always copy-pasting it.

I replaced a python/mysql daily process that takes 25 minutes to run with a perl/redis process that takes 1 minute to run, so it runs multiple times a day. Mgmt asks me to convert it to python/mysql, "...but keep the run time at one minute. That's great!"

No.

I always cringe when I hear people pronounce MySQL as "MySequal" 😂

MySQL Workbench.
Need I say more?

I just realized our business runs on a WIMP stack :(

Windows, IIS, MySQL, PHP

Okay so this happened ages ago (nearly five years) but this suddenly came to my mind again.

It was in the first year of my study (currently in my 5th and last year).

I was experimenting around with php and mysql during some free hours. All the insert,delete and so on statements worked perfectly find except for one update statement. Started to debug of course and after a little while of no results I was like "oh yeah right, something like logs exists of course". Looked in the logs but nothing. No matter how I altered my code (rewrote it numerous times for some 'clean starts') it just would not run the update statement.

Alright, time for some class mate help. After multiple hours of debugging with a few classmates, there was still no result at all.

Time to bring in one or more teachers. After hours of debugging, still no result even with the help of a few good teachers.

Decided to give it a rest for that day.

Two weeks later it still was not updating anything/working and I finally gave up.

Till today, I still have no clue what went wrong and it still bugs me from time to time :/

Many thanks MySQL. Really a good way to implement a driver. Go fuck yourself.

My first times today:
First time a droplet on Digital Ocean.
First time Nginx.
First time trying to separate mail and website servers.
First time using UFW firewall.
First time Ubuntu webserver.
First try all alone configuration of my webserver.
First time installing all the stuff I need on my own, like MySQL, PHP and so on.
First time only SSH access from the beginning.
First time deployment from bitbucket.

Do you have any advise what I should think about. Or what software I will need. Or what I should think about.

I messed up carelessly in production. Learnt how SQL queries bite you in the ass when it knows you are under pressure.

Was hosting an online quiz kinda thing during my college techfest. Tens of thousands of people participating.

Using MySQL as database and thousands of queries were being executed. Everyone were pretty excited as the event just opened up.

None of the teams could solve one particular level. Turns out the solution was wrong and was asked by the organisers to change the solution for that particular level. Usual stuff, right?

Was too lazy to open up the web UI for the back office and so, straight ahead logged in to the MySQL server and ran the UPDATE query on the table consisting of the solutions.

It had been a couple of hours and the organisers came to me with a weird problem. There were no changes in the scoreboard for the last two hours. Everyone were stuck wherever they were. Weird, right?

I then realized.

Fk.

In that dreaded query, I had only run

UPDATE 'qa' SET answer = 'something'

leaving out the where clause, specifying the question to update, like

WHERE qno=13

As a result, solutions to all the questions were updated to the same answer. After hastily fixing everything back, I had the dreaded conversation.

Org: What was the problem?

Me: It was the cache.

Org: Damn thing. Always messes up.

Me: *sheepishly* yeah

Probably the most embarrassing moment in my life, wrt coding 😑

So last night i was dealing with some mysql query issues trying to grab some complex data from a relational database and ended up giving up.

This afternoon i was about half-asleep going to nap, not even thinking about the code and randomly came up with the solution.

A few hours later i made the changes and it works as intended.

Anyone else solve code subconsciously ? 😂😂😁😁

MySQL has the absolute worst error messages.

"You have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds blah blah near '(some random code line)'".

How vague can you be? It doesn't help that I always find the error in a completely different place to where the message says it is.

MySQL fell down the stairs again and dropped tables all over the datacenter

the affected servers tried to notify me in advance but spamd wasn't able to scan their messages so IT JUST DIDN'T SEND THEM

EVEN IF IT COULD, NAMED COULDN'T RESOLVE ANY MX RECORDS

BECAUSE BEFORE MYSQL CRASHED IT CONVERTED /ETC/RESOLV.CONF INTO AN INNODB TABLE

(AND THEN DROPPED IT)

(ON PURPOSE)

Student: what are indexes on mysql tables?

Teacher: I don't know, nor do I recommend it's usage.

Mysql...

Screw MySQL/MariaDB. Who the fuck thought not to document that utf8 is only 3 bytes and not unicode capable. You have to use utf8mb4 for it to work. Fuck those idiots that don't want to admit they made a mistake and put this info in a footnote on a pricy documentation piece.

MySQL almost gave me a fright 😂😂😂

Every time I type "myself" I find mysql typing mysql....

fucking hosting company...

Just got a ticket back explaining that "the settings you want to make to your mysql database aren't possible with our hosting products". While they state in their FAQ that there are no restrictions applied. (We are talking about to possibility of using JOIN here!)

Ducking fuck.

Never mind to my last rant. I FUCKING ACCIDENTALLY FUCKING NAMED A MYSQL FUCKING GOD FUCKING DAMN FIELD FUCKING DESC FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK FUCK fuck FUCK

We just got into a malicious bots database with root access.

So guard duty gave us some warnings for our tableau server, after investigating we found an ip that was spamming us trying all sorts. After trying some stuff we managed to access their MySQL database, root root logged us in. Anyway the database we just broke into seems to have schemas for not only the bot but also a few Chinese gambling websites. There are lots of payment details on here.

Big question, who do we report this to, and what's the best way to do so anonymously? I'm assuming the malicious bot has just hyjacked the server for these gambling sites so we won't touch those but dropping the schema the bot is using is also viable. However it has a list of other ips, trying those we found more compromised servers which we could also log in to with root root.

This is kinda ongoing, writing this as my coworker is digging through this more.

MySQL isn't working..

In Messenger...

Fellow developer: Which software is used to host MySQL?
Me: MySQL.
FD: OK thanks. :v

$ mysql -uroot -p > file.sql instead of
$ mysqldump -uroot -p > file.sql

And not checking the result file before reinstalling my server 😭😭

MySQL databases beginning with "test" in the name gives even people without login full access to its tables.

Somebody deleted all tables so we had to get a backup from out hoster.

Thanks MySQL.

Thanks Firebase! I dont have to buy a 5$ server and install php mysql etc.. anymore. It is super easy create something for one-page one-day side projects! I am so happy..

Oh hell yeah. I just spent a good few hours optimizing an ok mySQL query and made it so much better and faster. Inner join ftw!!

Ok. FUCK MySQL Workbench.
Most of our products built on MySQL and we just had enough of the tools that we are using for our mysql databases...
We decided to make our own tool :)

If it goes well, we plan to open source it. Would you guys be interested in it?
We planned the following features:
1. Schema editing
2. Schema versioning
3. Update/downgrade script generation to move easily between schema versions
4. Manual/auto sync
5. Might include our own replication solution too...

What do you think?

For PHP and MySQL devs, look about phinx.

Twenty five goddamn minutes finding an incorrect quote mark in a bloody massive query of mySQL, I need a beer.

Awesome! New server!
With a newer version of MySQL
With new bugs on my websites

Seriously, this new version destroyed all the queries

I was having my after lunch coffee +reading devRant. I saw a rant about MySQL ("MySQL server has gone away" error).
It's spreading and no one can stop it!

Why does MySql least and greatest functions return null if any of the arguments are null? Who was the genius behind the idea that it's the best way to implement it, and to change this behavior in a minor version?

Why does MySql return bigint when i convert a value to integer?

Why does MySql exist?

*Runs MySQL benchmark on a new server*
Result: 30 read queries a second.
*Hmm.... that can't be right...."
*Creates simple node benchmark script and runs it*
Result: 400-500 read queries a second.

Wtf mysql...

!rant

when you are the system admin but mysql won't believe that.

That moment when your senior dev saves all dates in MySQL as a string human readable date

Never knew iOS developers must know MySQL, PHP, and Android development -_-

If only nodejs, mongodb and stuff are taught in my university instead of goddamn php and mysql

when MySQL opens its updater terminal but does nothing but sit there in your toolbar

Dear past me,

never ever offer a customer to rename their databases during migration.

Renaming databases in mysql is evil and will cost you more time than you think,

sincerely, my present me.

Ugh, stupid triggers and procedures >_>

The moment when your forced to use mySQL after years of blissful coexistence with a noSQL workflow.

- Knock Knock
- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Your mysql query callback
- Your mysql query callback

Stupid fucking MySQL.
I thought I have fixed your fucking issue.
I'm hungry and I wanna go home. It's 19:38 now.
I was up since 05:00 and started coding at like 06:00.
Grrrrrrrrr fucking piece of shit.

// Or was it the laptop at home that I fixed this issue? I don't know anymore. I'll try to fix you at other day.

I made sure to commit all changes (from my desktop) before leaving my home for the weekend so I can continue my project at the parents house (going for a monthly visit)..

I arrived, synced all my changes to my laptop, all good and well, going perfect. Updated the bower components etc. Time to start some test runs so I started my localhost, opened my browser,..Ended up with a MySQL errors galore.. Unknown table this and that.. I forgot the export my MySQL database :'( #fml

-click-

MySQL: 'the table does not exist'

I just fucking made the temp table dude, that's what you literally do in step 1 .... how could it not....

-click-

MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'

Me: "Oh there we g---"

-click-

MySQL: 'the table does not exist'

Me: "Hey you just worked!"

-click-

MySQL: 'the table does not exist'

GOD DAMN IT

-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-

MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'

Me: Uh you're working now?

-click-

MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'

-click-

MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'

-click-

MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'

Guess that API just needed breaking in....

Have some troubles with MySQL server with multiple instances.
After some search, I have a “bind-address” parameter set to “127.0.0.1”
Changed to “localhost” do the trick. Love my work.

This is a true story. We had this subject, called “Web Design” (really, “design”), where we studied HTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP and MySQL (confusing, right?). And when we get the PHP (e-)book, it was this old PDF (probably downloaded illegally) teaching the legacy 4.0 version of PHP. Anyway, when we had to develop the final project, the sane professor allowed us to use a newer version of PHP — 5.2, released on 2008. I had to follow the rules, so I developed probably the less secure web application I will ever develop. That means no protection from SQL injection, XSS vulnerable and a bunch of other security holes… And that’s how they liked it developed!

I'm a MySQL developer. I dont know YourSQL.

Everything wrong with PHP, Wordpress, MySQL and Stackoverflow in a single screenshot.

A couple of years ago, we decide to migrate our customer's data from one data center to another, this is the story of how it goes well.

The product was a Facebook canvas and mobile game with 200M users, that represent approximately 500Gibi of data to move stored in MySQL and Redis. The source was stored in Dallas, and the target was New York.

Because downtime is responsible for preventing users to spend their money on our "free" game, we decide to avoid it as much as possible.

In our MySQL main table (manually sharded 100 tables) , we had a modification TIMESTAMP column. We decide to use it to check if a user needs to be copied on the new database. The rest of the data consist of a savegame stored as gzipped JSON in a LONGBLOB column.

A program in Go has been developed to continuously track if a user's data needs to be copied again everytime progress has been made on its savegame. The process goes like this: First the JSON was unzipped to detect bot users with no progress that we simply drop, then data was exported in a custom binary file with fast compressed data to reduce the size of the file. Next, the exported file was copied using rsync to the new servers, and a second Go program do the import on the new MySQL instances.

The 1st loop takes 1 week to copy; the 2nd takes 1 day; a couple of hours for the 3rd, and so on. At the end, copying the latest versions of all the savegame takes roughly a couple of minutes.

On the Redis side, some data were cache that we knew can be dropped without impacting the user's experience. Others were big bunch of data and we simply SCAN each Redis instances and produces the same kind of custom binary files. The process was fast enough to launch it once during migration. It takes 15 minutes because we were able to parallelise across the 22 instances.

It takes 6 months of meticulous preparation. The D day, the process goes smoothly, but we shutdowns our service for one long hour because of a typo on a domain name.

When mysql_query gets called inside of a loop that is inside of a loop.. While the could've used a one liner mysql command...

Best of all they don't think that this doesn't effect performance...

Don't forget to set a password when installing mysql from cl #devmistakes

MySQL is Oracle's MS Access

when I first saw this trixk to speed up the db:
1. stop mysql
2. cat dbfile > /dev/null
3. start mysql....
and it works...

I don't understand why someone who's totally sane and careful could forget to turn off MySQL general log over Christmas vacation. Of course Disk out of space caused us down time :/

Fuck i hate it when clients use dedicated windows servers for mysql.

MYSQL has gone away.....😔

The moment I accidentally drop the entire Database in production with no backup.

WordPress uses 25+ MySQL connections per person. MySQL limit is set to 100. 4 people can bring down a critical component of the company. Only fix is to write custom MySQL connector using PDO and persistence connections. Added a Resistor cache just for good measure.

Imagine you tell your manager that MySQL is down and he tell you to get someone's else SQL.

What the best database solution for web and smartphones dev?
Is mysql the good choice?
I’m an “old” dev with old usage, php-mysql-JavaScript.
Is it a 2018 solution or am i a dinosaur?
All data will be stored on server side. Web and smartphone app as client.
Thanks for your experience sharing.

I HATE MYSQL !

Had a teacher in high school who ordered us to learn MS Access, even tho most of us already knew MySQL... It was to learn about relations and the likes...
We spend way to long on that subject, because most of really didn't find the Access interface intuitive and she had to walk from table to table helping...
The only two finished the task where those who say screw it and used MySQL 😅

I just created an Oracle account just to comment on a mysql bug report in order to inform people to use mariadb as a fix ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

^w should delete back a word, not to the beginning of the line! This is broken because instead of readline, Oracle's mysql-client uses editline.

Yet why the fuck do you compile mysql-client with editLine wrapper that breaks the common keybindings?

Licenses is why. Oracle wants to avoid using GNU GPL, and readline uses just that, so they use editline since it has BSD. And they just don't seem to give a damn if it breaks usability.

MySQL || NoSQL
Which is your prefer and why?

A programme I have to maintain (and not allowed to optimise or change):

1) read input from serial connection
2) store data in MySQL database
3) every day convert to CSV
4) store on Windows file share
5) process CSV in access 2000
6) store in MsSQL database

When it was first developed, I said to te developer to store it straight from serial to MsSQL but out boss wanted it to follow the above spec.

He has now left and I have to maintain it

My simple MySQL Connector for every languages (Dekstop/mobile). I've tried this in C#, VB.NET, and Java. Trust me, it works. How 'bout ya?

So I was waiting on a mysqldump for over a halfhour wondering why it was taking way to fcking long.

But then I saw I typed mysql -u user -p database > dump.sql

Instead of using the mysqldump command xD at moments like this you realize how important sleep is xD

//rant

So i ordered myself a web server and am trying to get access to phpmyadmin.
I got generated username and password for the phpmyadmin login.
So i created mysql databases and database users, outside the interface, but that's fucking it, i need to create tables as well, can't do that without the interface, cuz NO ACCESS!

Fucking piece of shit service provider, they had one thing to do and they can't even fucking do it right. How dare they call themselves web hosts at all...

It's probably a badly configured config file but i can't access the file myself to start sorting this shit out, so i got to wait at least 12 hours till work hours to be able to contact with them and sort this shit out.

Am i a fucking peace of shit or is installing MySql one of the shittiest things?

So... We're going to totally rewrite one of our web applications at work. It's currently written using the .NET framework, and we're moving to Node.js instead. For me, that's absolutely wonderful! Outside work I practically only work with Node, so I'm happy. There is just one thing that's bothering me. My colleague wants to use MySQL for the database. Even worse is that he's the one deciding, since I started working there just a couple of weeks ago.

Now, I really, really want to use Mongodb. It integrates so wonderfully with Node together with Mongoose, and just the thought of using JSON everywhere makes my body shiver of satisfaction.

So therefore I have two questions.

A. Would you prefer Mongodb over MySQL for a node application?
B. How the hell can I convince him to use Mongodb?!

Cheers!

So apparently by upgrading to MySQL 5.7, your databases dies, completly.

MySQL is freaking and keeps restarting :(

Production server "Error establishing database connection"

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

DELETE FROM 'users' WHERE id-1

Oops 😅 I meant id=1

Working at a local seo sweat-shop as "whatever the lead dev does't feel like doing" guy.

Inherit their linux "server".
- Over 500 security updates
- Everything in /var/www is chmod to 777
- Everything in /var/www is owned by a random user that isn't apache
- Every single database is owned by root sql user
- Password for sudo user and mysql root user same as wifi password given to everyone at company.
- Custom spaghetti code dashboard with over 400 files in one directory, db/ api logins spread throughout these files, passwords in plain text.
- Dashboard doesn't have passwords, just usernames to login
- Dashboard database has all customer information including credit card stored in plain text
- Company wifi is shared by other businesses in the area

I suggest that I should try to fix some of these things.

Lead Developer / Tech Director : We're an SEO company, not a security company . . .

I'm gonna use pure php to crud the fuk out of u mysql

PostgreSQL or MySQL ?
And why?

Fast Q:

What client with user interface for MySql are you guys using ?

I want to cry... Fuck it.. shiit. .. :( :( ;(

Wasted half of the Weekend to Setup MySQL on my vServer which uses ssl encryption, have specific User and so on.
Thought: well, the User mysql is not so good as a Name. Drop it, you don't need it.
What did I? Instead of Drop User mysql , I typed Drop Database mysql.

Fuck that fucking Shit. I'm so sad right now. Broked the complete MySQL Database. Nothing is working anymore. And the server is new, I've Just made One Backup. Deleted this a few hours ago.. also accidently.

Help me :( Shit :( so sad :( Now, I don't have Motivation anymore to work with the vServer :(

I fucked up my MySQL installation...

AGAIN!!

Whenever I really feel like programming in my free time (which became really rare), I fuck something up and spend half of the night fixing it. Once it’s fixed I’m done, don’t wanna do anything anymore..

I should just start programming and set up the infrastructure afterwards.. at least I would get to do some programming then..

1) Writing data to database works just fine
2) Query reading back that same data returns null
3) Spend 3 hours to try figure out why that 4 year old select statement suddenly doesn't work anymore
4) Figure out mysql master stopped replicating to read slaves
5) Facepalm and cry a little

spend better part of my day processing about 400M rows of data with MySql, woo ain't no single line of code that can do that in 12hrs 😊

to the guy who uses myISAM every where :
TRANSACTIONS MOTHERFUCKER DO U KNOW THEM ?

When hosting company changes mysql host name from localhost to mysql. And you spend hour to see why your app does not connect to db because you don't wanna call support. &#-+_$&#&

What’s a really expensive MySQL Query? I need to add it to a CMS application for “research purposes”.

Java project implementing hibernate JavaFX and mysql

When it comes to choosing a database,  What is the best for a Java project?

1.SQL - MySQL
2.NoSQL- MongoDB

I remember back then when we were building an E-commerce website. To maintain good performance the boss insisted using flat table. This was also applied to other projects like GPS. That was already 2013 when NoSQL databases like MongoDB was around already. His concern is he didn't like to risk on new technologies and it would cost money for training instead of using the existing "MySQL" and Microsoft SQL Server.
Everything I learned from that guy was just poop.

F**k companies who's apps use MySQL/MariaDB tables of the table engine MEMORY.

Seriously.

That engine *sucks* to work with as an admin. It's such a huge pain in the ass having to always dump the whole DB instead of taking a snapshot.

And if the replica restarts... Poof. Replication breaks. Cuz all the memory tables are suddenly empty!

Fml. Fmfl. Ugh.

Do you know how MySQL got it's name? Well, it's a really interesting thing one should know. Atleast, I find it really amusing.

~Michael "Monty" Widenius is one of the founder of MySQL and one of his daughter's name is My(after whom MySQL was named).~

I need to performance monitor our web app. I have been working on some speed improvments since some of our customers have complained. My boss wants me to be able to produce stats which he can use (and abuse) to highlight to customers that we have got quicker. I am currently looking at blackfire for PHP profiling to help with speeding things up but I need a top site overview for everything. Our stack is PHP (no framework), JS (jquery + vanilla), MySQL on Windows mainly. On premise solutions would be good since we don't traditionally run in the Cloud. Our system isn't SaaS and is installed on dedicated data centre servers or on premise

I gotta let this out. I apologize..

Why the FUUUCK does MySQL not let me log into my FUCNING ROOT USER AND THE OTHER USER I MADE...
I thought i fixed it a few days ago, but apparently not. Now im considering trashing this shitproject for a while.
*insert awesome words that illustrate extreme rage and a broken keyboard*

That red card to Buffon is like Oracle aquired Java and MySQL 😤 , both breaks my heart

Mysql won't start after windows update. - I don't have to say anything more to display my infinite hate.

So php7 deprecated all support for mysql none of my previous projects are working on localhost.Moreover,Ubuntu removed the php5 package from it's latest version . FML.

Convinced someone to start using ubuntu. Now we spent 25 mins getting mySQL and workbench to work. He was getting pretty frustrated, but then we got it working and he was so happy about it.

Now he knows.
No turning back.

My fascination for programming began around 13, when i started developing plugins for my minecraft server in java.
Had an awesome time with creating plugins for some fully custom servers with relatively large playerbases(50-200 players, depended on the time of the day).
This sparked something in me, and i started creating crapp ass "portfolio" sites for myself with php and mysql login and registration forms. After that I got into some basic c# abd had fun with some cute console/form applications.
And here comes today, in the process of picking up more css, php, html, js knowledge, probably heading towards react or vue.
I just love programming to death.

Has anyone here used MongoDB for relational databases? I am trying to use MySQL with Node but I feel like the whole thing is a mess. There are some ORMs like Knex or Sequelize for MySQL but they are pretty crap. I am thinking if I should just move onto MongoDB instead of MySQL, at the same time I feel a little dirty to store relational data in a document store :(

I was finally happy with my mySQL setup for my project.

Then I found out neo4j exists...

dammit.

Really payara? with only 700 record of mySql.
Please'''

MySQL Server

Me: *newly learning MySQL*

Also me: time to buy wedding rings for my pinky finger and the caps lock key

Gotta revise MySQL and Java for my IT Matura exam on Wednesday...

Reading/writing from/to files in a Java 8 manner,
LOAD DATA (LOCAL) INFILE "blah.csv" LINES TERMINATED BY "\r\n" DELIMITED BY ";' etc.,
Java Comparator,
clean Eclipse install...

No Internet, I'll have javadoc and mycli though.

so, mysql, you're not going to let me run recursive queries? well, fuck you too!

Why the actual fuck is MariaDB disguised as MySQL in the AUR?!? Is there just no way to install MySQL from the AUR anymore?

"Getting stuck debugging mysql for 30 minutes to finally realized you are missing a : is my favorite thing"
-said no one ever.

When MySQL has grown tired of your prayers and goat offerings to keep it up...

Why does mysql use Latin1_swedish_ci by default?
And why don't they switch to utf-8?

The company I work in had to build a software that establishes a connection to a MySQL database running on an external server. It doesn't work for the client company because the firewall is very restrictive and only lets through connections on port 80, so we had to build a fucking http server that forwards SQL queries to the MySQL server and returns the result. This is so horrible!
(Running MySQL on port 80 isn't an option as any other connection type than http is blocked by the firewall)

is using auto incremented id as primary key bad practice in mysql??

My teacher said it is wrong to use autoincrement because it will skip number when row is deleted. But it does to make it unique .

Or should i use uuid ? But doesn't it impact performance?

The client has been working with MySQL his whole life, wants me to make a front end for a site but insists on making what he calls the backend in my terms the database himself. So he wants the ability to drop and add rows, tables from the database itself somehow implemented, any ideas?

Another one of those success messages, that looks like an error message. feat. MySQL Workbench

Me and some friends are working on creating a food recipe app and webapp. Currently in Norwegian, but would it be worth the trouble of translating all content and the app itself?

Backend written in PHP/MySQL with Laravel and app written with Ionic Framework v1.

Recent experience:

- Installed openSUSE Tumbleweed
- Installed mariadb
- Tried to start the service (several times) with failure
- Searched online, made adjustments as per the suggestions. No luck
- Reinstalled related packages
- Tried again and failed
- Deleted everything in /var/lib/mysql
- Tried again ... and 👍

Just sharing

Pulled my hair out over one today (and a week ago when I first saw the issue)

Setting up development environment. Created test user and test database and used mysqldump to copy data over.

MySQL was executing a function as the wrong user. Checked my config files, checked my config reader, checked my database connection, checked checked checked. Checked everything twice, I felt like Santa.

Changed the password in the config file to make sure it was logging in right. It threw an error still but not one I had expected so I figured the login still worked (My bias was that I thought the config file was not working or the mysql library was caching authentication. Both were wrong but this blinded my debugging. Foolish, I have forgotten my training)

Logged into the database directly via client. *didn't bother executing the function because I was only testing auth*

Think
Think
Think

Search entire project for database username. It's gotta be hard coded by accident SOMEWHERE.

It's not.

Why
Why
Why

Wait.

-- Flashback to how the test db was created -- What's actually in this damn script?

DEFINER `production_user` CREATE PROCEDURE `old_db`.`procedure_name`

Two issues: definer is old user (this is the error I was seeing) and its creating the procedure on the old db (this would be the next error I would have found if I kept going)

Fuck mysqldump. Install mysqldbcopy. Works

Put hair back in head.

Why does MySQL call databases schemes? Makes absolutely no sense.

Schema is the metadata around your tables or documents. What is Json Schema? Metadata around a json object.

MySQL, databases contain data. Schemes do not! Bad DB technology. Bad...

How do you restore partial data from a mysql backup? Don't worry, nothing is wrong, I'm just thinking about how would I restore something if shit hits the fan.

Our current strategy for database backups is to just run mysqldump during the night, using a cronjob (feel freue to suggest a better way ;))

1) Restoring the full db: just read that sql file into the mysql command.

2) Restoring just one (or some) tables: open the file in an IDE, just select the lines you're after, copy them to a new file, read that one (possible issues: let's say we have a table B to which entries of table A are related and we just want to restore table A. We can't nuke table B too, as also table C is refering to it, so we have to do some orphant removal in B afterwards)

3) Restoring selected entries in specific tables: setup a new db, read the full backup in there, dump these entries to a new file and read that into the real db

How do you so it? Any better aproaches/tools?

FUCK YOU mysql 8 and your fucking shit caching_sha2_password, could you at least update your fucking drivers to support it!

Developed a microsite for a temporary campaign. Involves generating 1.5million promo codes on excel. Done... good luck importing it to mysql. Campaign launch is tonight while importing cant be successful unless importing 10K at a time -_-

So, let's version control MySQL. Any ideas?

Just gotta say, YouTube videos that show connecting a form to MySQL make it so much more complicated than it is...

Found this tweet by accident. At first I laughed, but then I realized that once I too didn't know what MySQL was. Crazy to think that I knew nothing just ten years ago.

!Rant

Which database program do you use? MySQL, MongoDB etc.
I'm using MySQL at the moment, but a lot of jobs requires MongoDB. Does anyone know why?

Though I can't get it to work on my dedicated server, giving up for now...

So I've been trying to use bootstrap alerts after deleting a category item in my cms project.

The problem is that I send params via get request and after sending a query to mysql it's best to refresh the page using header to both update the new changes but also prevent the params from staying in the url.

Unfortunately, after refreshing, my alerts don't run because the context of deleting a category is over at that point. I'm sure I'll find a solution eventually, but it's causing headaches and it's a good time waster xD

God, these people...

Little backstory. I'm making an training application and we have a MySQL database set up where some elements of the training are configured. This is so learning experts can easily change some aspects of the training without programmer's help.

Meanwhile, I'm also in the middle of a server migration, because our current server is running a lot of deprecated software and is in dire need of replacement.
This is going pretty slowly, though, because of other, high-priority, work that keeps being shoved my way.

Now, someone accidentally deletes a bunch of data from one of the schemas. No big deal in my book, the training is still in development and we have nightly backups of the database.
So I shoot a support ticket to the hosting provider and ask them to restore a specific schema, telling them to restore the image to some other machine and dump the tables in an MySQL file so I can restore it that way.
I also told them to get the backup of the OLD server, not the NEW one we're still migrating to.

About an hour later, I get a message that they dumped the schema's files in a Temp folder on the D drive. So I RDP to the server to check and... The files aren't there. Just before writing a response asking where the file is, I remembered the server I was migrating to and checked that server, and there were the files.

I had already migrated part of our databases and was testing compatibility before I moved to something else.
The hosting provider just dumped the files of the wrong server, despite me telling them exactly which server to use.

This is not the first time this hosting provider has let me down...
I'm really considering jumping to another if they keep doing this...

What are you going to say when you'll know a more than 1yr experienced web developer working in PHP and MySQL does not know about indexing column in MySQL and submitting registration form (includes password) in GET?

So, I rarely ask questions, I usually find the answer myself, but, I'm just tired today and maybe my fellow dev ranters can help here.

Is there a way to write a bash script that automatically runs a pre-defined mysql query on local DB and throws that up into production DB?

it's just a simple select and then insert.

Been looking at select into out file, from infile etc

I could do it manually, but I'm going to have to do this more than a few times over the next few weeks and would love to just alias it and be done with it

doesn't seem possible without actually logging into mysql cli each time...on both sides, which sucks

this isn't export/import a table, it's export/import the result of a query

thanks

MySQL has no outer join. Why isn't this fact all over the internet? Why does EVERY FUCKING TUTORIAL list outer join as if it's just as standard as left join?

I'm used to using PostGres, have been forced to use MySQL for this project. After a day of pain I would like to firmly declare: I hate MySQL.

i don't like devs who put serialized data into a relational database. guys, do you even know how to relational database? 😭😭😭