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Had to debug an issue,
*ssh user@domain*
"some wild network connection issue"
*hmm weird.. *
*checks everything again*
*hmm seems alright.. *
*tries again*
*same damn error*
*ssh -v user@domain*
*syntax error thingy on the -v part*
😮
*messages co-worker asking what the fuck could be giving on*
"ey mate check your aliases 😂"
*alias"
"alias ssh="echo {insert network connection issue"*
*loud laughing from the co-worker I messaged*
MOTHERFUCKER 😆15 -
Website: "your ad blocker's on, consider adding us to your white list..."
Me: *inspect element*
Me: *Delete modal*
*Insert montage of me hacking into the mainframe for dramatic purposes*
I'm in. 😎21 -
If you're going to bother to detect that my input is without hyphens, then you can certainly insert them for me too.
8 -
Year 2013
- Trying this thing called Bitcoin
- Setup wallet in spare USB drive
- Buy 0.5 BTC (couldn’t afford more)
- Forgot about it
Year 2016
- Remembered I had bought BTC
- Looking like crazy for my USB drive
- Found it!
- Insert it into PC
- only one file in it
- essay_blah_blah_<sisters name>.doc
- poof, gone for ever14 -
How to plug a USB in a USB port:
1. Try to insert it
2. If it doesn't go, rotate it 180 degrees
3. Of it doesn't go, rotate it back
4. There you go7 -
Stackoverflow, Quora, hacker news, and any other {{insert random blog/site here}} makes me feel like an ant amongst a bunch of perfect super coders (okay exaggeration)... Thanks devrant for making me feel normal! 😂 #comfort5
-
I have the habit of immediately closing parentheses after opening them, then insert the code.
The problem is, this applies to hand writing as well. Because you cannot move characters in a hand written exam I spend half of the time writing, then removing parentheses.
Whyyy brain5 -
Client: I need this *insert app/machine/thing* ASAP! No excuses!
*work overtime just to get it done*
*after 2 weeks of finishing it*
Me: So has the thing worked without issues?
Client: Oh, I haven’t even used it yet!
:/5 -
I have this guy who screams and keeps on slamming the table in a meeting room (there is only the project developer inside), about how important to LTRIM RTRIM in sql, combining multiple insert into 1 stored procedure, making a big deals of small feature since we’re on a tight schedule, bla bla bla
Worse retard ever
I almost punched him12 -
Fuckin hell!!
Code works everywhere except at one client. Ok, I check logs & see something missing.. I go check the code that handles excel files.. try catch and do nothing.. great.. :/ ok let's log this shit to see what is not ok...
Insert logs, build, update, run.. now it freakin works o.O
11 -
Our programming teacher always wanted us to do this (in C#):
somedatatype somevarname;
somevarname = somevalue;
You were NEVER allowed to:
somedatatype somevarname = somevalue;
"Can't I just do it in one line?"
"No."
"Why?"
"<insert dumb statement here that gives no reason whatsoever>"9 -
Literally bought a smartphone for devrant, didn't insert a sim, just hooked on wifi went on playstore to download devrant.8
-
Hey man can you fix my tv, computer, toaster, phone, or hack this phone i found, can you hack me a wifi, can you make me a website/app i have a really good idea. (For free of course)
Hey man you only need a good idea for an app then become rich.
(Insert countless of other retarded requests here)
Someone kill me6 -
My mom just showed me this on her facebook news feed and said, " Look <insert nickname>, it's the same "e" browser you've asked me not to use !!"
9 -
I hope they make an anime about being a dev and the enemy is the deadline.
Dev: ill use this coding technique number 111
Deadline: impossible
Insert explosion effect here9 -
Ok, I just have had wasted 30 mins of my life trying to figure out why one of the stupids grids of the shitty project of my company is missing one element....
...please, always sanitize the data before insert in the db... please....
3 -
*while visiting my parents once in while*
Mom : son, help! I have a problem with my [insert technological device here]!
Me : ugh... Here we go again. *Applies physical presence near mom and said problematic device*
Mom : oh, well... It's working now! Thanks!
Me : numberOfFixes++; // ¯\_(ツ)_/¯4 -
Last week I had a presentation of a project (webapp) for a customer.
She: "Can I do {insert feature here}?
Me: "Is that a question or a feature request?" -
Was asked to make an e-sign system that manipulates PDFs to insert an image and the date at different coordinates on x number of different pages.
200 hours later, it was done. Now I'm the PDF guy2 -
Customer: “How many concurrent users can use this app?”
Me: “web tech is stateless. (Insert explanation) So concurrency is meaningless.”
Customer: “yeah but how many concurrent users?”
Me: “infinite as long as they aren’t interacting with the server.”
Customer: “but how many?”
Me: “400”9 -
Managers: fullStackClown!!!! The image uploader on the dashboard at <insert 3rd party service here> isn't working!!!!!
fullStackClown: Yeah? What do you want me to do about it?
Managers: Well, fix it!
fullStackClown: ... * sigh * Well, in case you didn't realize, I don't work at <insert 3rd party service here>, so... unless you want me to go work for them instead of you absolute clowns (which I dream about daily), I cannot help you further in this matter.
Managers: ...
fullStackClown: ...
Kill me. 🤡6 -
“Never,never, never, NEVER eat raw userinput“
Referring to stuff like “insert into foo (bar) values ($_POST[username])“2 -
The "explain x to an x years old boy/girl" questions are easy yet tricky.
Interviewer: Explain machine learning to an 8th years old kid.
"Imagine if <insert anecdotal example here>"
Interviewer: The kid is asleep. Try harder.4 -
IT Requests:
"I need (insert vague IT related need), because otherwise we can't do our job."
- What have you been doing up until now?3 -
Manager: Here's the design for the next feature, we're ready to hand it over to the consultant
FullStackClown: Uh... okay... is it spec'd out with requirements?
Manager: Huh?
FullStackClown: Well, already look at this design and user flow, did you consider what happens when <insert edge case X here>, <insert edge case Y here>, or <insert edge case Z here>? How is the consultant going to know what to put in for business logic if you don't even know or define it yourself?
Manager: Huh?
FullStackClown: Sigh... yeah, I'm too busy right now to be a kindergarten teacher, come back in a few days once you understand how your own feature is supposed to work
Manager: ...
Dev: ...5 -
Hey devBanner guys..i forget who handles the project
@kimmax and @CozyPlanes come to mind?
question: why block \r\n ect, when i can still insert new lines?
20 -
Me as Junior Dev doing mysql first time, specifically INSERT test data to test db, sucess on first try.
My Senior co-worker says: WOW, Baby's first INSERT...... that sounds so wrong out of context xD -
!rant
When you get a +1 from @dfox and feel like *insert famous person here* took the time to read your rant... 😃3 -
I don't think I've EVER wanted to hit the insert key.
"You know what would be great?"
"What?"
"If typing erased what you've already done so you can't actually edit anything"
"Sounds pretty great"9 -
"Shouldn't be a problem. I can get <insert new feature here> implemented by <insert wildly optimistic time>. "
What is wrong with me?! Why do I keep doing this!?2 -
Once I quit this job, I'm never getting a Mac again. I know many like working on one but for me it just gets in my way, it's naggy, the window manager is clunky, homebrew is a crappy package manager compared to pacman and good do I miss focus follow mouse. This is the third time that I've used macos for insert a year and it has actually gotten less pleasant over time.11
-
@dfox you said there'd be sweatshirts...it's cold as fuck here...I need a sweatshirt
*Insert some witty joke about devs never making deadlines*4 -
So we have this HUGE ass project , really challenging , that my boss and "PM" have been meeting with the client for months now...
I got on board , guess what?
NO ONE HAVE A FUCKING CLUE ON WHAT THE FUCK THEY WANT!!!!!
ALL FUCKING GENERIC REQUIREMENTS!!! WHAT THE FUUUCK!!!
[ insert fucking pitch screaming!!!! ]
FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!1 -
*Looks up advice on how to implement something
*Finds reasonable, well written advice on Stack Overflow that recommends not using <insert latest framework here>
*Ignores advice
*Two hours of exasperated coding and git resets later
*Goes back and upvotes advice -
Shit that annoys me: People use the store (insert google play/apple/other) rating with one star to ask questions instead of fucking filling the stupid contact form or send an email to tech support.2
-
Today I explained a young kiddo that <insert multilayer game here> cannot work without servers.
Then he asked me how I don't get bored writing so much...1 -
Oh, my promotion happens whenever I'm on a call with a sales guy, who announces they have a (insert grandiose job title here) on the call in case the client has any technical questions.
Unfortunately it comes with no pay rise, and I'm immediately demoted again when the call ends ;)1 -
Got this in my mail, so I placed a bid to deliver for $10 in 24 hours. Wish I could insert a smaller amount.
2 -
It's not a compsci paper if it doesn't start the intro with "Recent advances in [insert name of subfield] show that ..."4
-
Today, my dad can finally ditch his iPhone 4 which is passed down from my eldest sis to my mom and to my dad, all thanks to my brother-in-law getting a Samsung Galaxy J7 on Black Friday.
Finally. No more Apple bullshit in my house!! NO FUCKING MORE!!! *insert hysterical laughter* GOODBYE STUPID 20-PIN CHARGER CABLE~ GOODBYE ITUNES~ GOODBYE ICLOUD~ FUCK YOU!!!7 -
Client:
Monday: change the color of a button
Tuesday: change the top of home page
Wednesday: insert new image on site
Thursday: change the text
...
WHY YOU DONT ASK ALL CHANGES ONE TIME????6 -
Me vs Facebook support
Me: I'm having trouble with xyz even though I followed your instructions. You have problems with the Arabic language*insert very detailed and professional explanation here with links*
FB Support: please follow the instructions here *insert link*
Me: I already followed those, that's why I'm asking for your help. Please provide detailed instructions.
FB Support: We can't help you, we don't provide detailed instructions, please follow instructions provided in said links.
Why the fuck are you called support then huh? I can read the damn documentation.. Hell I get paid for reading the motherfucking documentation!!3 -
Yes I totally care about what some dipshit at [insert conference] has to say, now let me in on my desktop that doesn't run anything that has anything to do with k8s pls
7 -
Manager: How's (insert dumbass task that they assigned literally 1 hour ago) going? 😊
Dev: We have JIRA for a reason, you'll see it will be moved to demo / review when it's ready.
Manager: ...
Dev: ...2 -
Hey. I am recruiter X from irrelevant startup Y. We automatically sent you a message with our LinkedIn bot because we think you may like working in an irrelevant language and an overhyped useless technology. I hope you love working overtime and getting burned out. :)
Free beers, silicon valley blabla. Insert irrelevant information about millions of dollars of funding blabla.2 -
fren: do you have a date this valentines?
me: nah fam
fren: what u doin rn
me: [Insert technical explanation of Kubernetes here]
fren: [goes offline]2 -
We live in a world where WEAKNESS has become a virtue.
- I'm oppressed!
- My mental health!
- I need a helper!
- I'm sensitive!
- You're fatphobic!
- <INSERT SJW's IDENTITY term>
In today's world, you score more social points for describing yourself as weak & blaming 'oppressors' for your miserable life12 -
Zoom is no meeting software.
At best, a webcast something.
*insert deity here* do I hate the overlay, sound options and speaker focus.
I want to choose wether the sound on coffee breaks keeps playing at 260%. FFS!4 -
Customer: "Yeah we need <insert bonkers 12 step circular logic> to find a thing(s) in the database."
Me: "Ok let me diagram this out and I'll send it to you to review.... but man this seems like the 8th version of this we're doing right?"
Customer: "Yeah well <employee Y> says they can't do B, C without this."
Me: "Wait... can't they just <insert the most simple step in the history of time> in step A, and then later on they won't have to do all this hunting later? Like you have that data at step A right?"
Customer: "Yeah but <employee Y> doesn't want to do that."
Me: "She's your direct report ....."
Customer: "Yes...."
Me: "Ok.... I'll send you the diagram and the cost estimate...."
Whatever reason sometimes it is a bit draining coding madness compared to making things actually efficient / people's jobs easier...3 -
When I launch my startup, I'm gonna insert all kinds of very stupid and weird error messages in place of the actual errors just so the people can have a chuckle instead of being annoyed
maybe someone's gonna post it on reddit or something, I don't mind, that's actually a good thing
14 -
[wordpress trigger warning]
Had an idiotic colleague who re-implemented the insert image function as a shortcode. A “senior php developer”. No, I’m not kidding.
Him: “But this way we can set a class”
Me: “As you can with the standard mode”
Him “No you can’t”
Me: *shows*
Him (smiling): “well why don’t you remove my stuff then?”7 -
Working as a software engineer but: co-workers randomly walk into my office to ask me <<insert random IT problem (i.e. mouse not working etc.)>> while I'm deeply focused programming. Trying to close my office door results in co-workers backbiting...
Why can't they just go to the IT administrator who's work it is to handle their fucking problems?3 -
/* A normal day at office */
// A non tech guy sitting next to me
// Wants to save a file on his system.
Him: Moves Cursor. Clicks File->Save.
Me: *facepalm*
<!-- moments later -->
// Time to save a file
Me: Ctrl-SSS
Runs code.
<!-- insert picture here -->
Me: Alt-TAB. Ctrl-Z. Ctrl-S.
Him: *sigh*
-
People ranting about programmers in <insert language> not being programmers because <insert other language> is better...4
-
Continued from:
https://devrant.com/rants/975261/...
https://devrant.com/rants/989191/...
Heading to the interview place in 8 in the morning! Wish me luck!
Will keep updated.
Peace! (insert music here)6 -
If an ai becomes depressed, does it encapsulate itself for better \Closure?
*insert thinking dinosaur* -
Fuck you Ajax
Fuck you js
Fuck you jQuery
Fuck you {{insert js frameworks}}
I've been learning ajax now and this shit happend
15 -
Business: We want this exactly like [insert competitor’s web product].
Me: Oh, so like [this major obvious feature]?
Business: Oh no! Not that! Everything else but that!… You have everything you need right?
Me: …🤦♂️1 -
Client wants a webapp where every label on all form inputs are configurable, even the fucking login form ("Login" and "Password" text)
They also want it to send emails where the message is configurable too (they can insert your own HTML)
so basically they want the entire fucking webapp to be configurable, all without requiring any code change.
I could use a "configurable" torture device right now.9 -
DevRant formatting template:
I'm not [insert negative trait] but [insert rant contradicting the first statement]18 -
Account Manager Brief Template
"We haven't confirmed any of the desired functionality, but we (the AM and the Client) have decided that it must be built in [INSERT CMS/FRAMEWORK/TECH OF THE WEEK HERE]."4 -
We actually had a small "code on paper" test (more like a recap test) yesterday, but we didn't have to write much rather than just have a basic understanding how classes and instances of those work. It was like 6 small lines of code to insert. I don't mind coding on paper as long as you don't have to write a big program with it as a 1-hour test.2
-
I somehow managed to turn on overtype with the insert key.
Welp, guess it's time to get a new laptop. Any recommendations?
5 -
When I need help with JavaScript, I google 'JS (insert query here)...'
When I need help with Go, I have to google 'Go programming (insert query here)...'
The extra term 'programming' is so search engines recognise I'm looking for answers related to the Go language.
Ironic, but Go is the least 'search engine friendly' language. Sites like O'Reilly and Packtpub return searches with uneven results.11 -
Using a mac from time to time:
1) Open browser
2) Open Gmail website
3) Insert email address
4) Press CMD+Q to write @
5) FUCK!!!2 -
My Favorite Senior Dev: Hmm, I don't understand this error.
Neighboring, Competent SQL Developer Coworker: What does it say?
Senior Dev: It says, "Cannot insert the value NULL into column 'person', table 'PEOPLE'; column does not allow nulls..."
*5 minute silence*4 -
Wtf? What kind of user agent header is that? Why don't you go ahead and insert my fucking social security number in there, Android? According to amiunique, this is literally a unique header ON ITS OWN.
8 -
Sales sold to a new enterprise client ecommerce solution tailored for small/local businesses as enterprise solution.
That software is able to handle hundreds of products, but we are trying to insert over 200k+ of them.
After inserting around 10k, the whole system dies and nothing works because all requests time out.7 -
Wondering why your form isn't submitting any data to the db.
Spending half an hour checking all POST-Variables and functions in your script multiple times to see if they give the correct values (they do).
Finally realizing you wrote 'INSERT INRO' in your SQL statement.
Questioning your intelligence for the rest of the day.6 -
Had a dream last night...
My grandmother gave me a flip phone as a present. My first thought was "really?"
But after flipping it open, I found that it had some gaming buttons (A, B, Start, etc). Also, it had a place to insert Gameboy games.
It was the most 90's/early 2000's phone ever.2 -
Does anyone ever have this, that, when you see a post with loads of upvotes/comments you're like 'fuck, I really should've posted that myself (insert weeks or whatever) ago... '1
-
Was exploring google foobar upon how it works and found out this strange
div:rhtext
wonder how they insert this code in html randomly.
xpath and ids are all obfuscated,unreadable
6 -
A fellow <insert some data science title here> giving me more acknowledgement than all of the old guys running the show and, erm, "leading"?
Fucker left me behind, good for him.
-
Refusing to escape user input in shell commands because "it's the responsibility of the user to insert safe input".
-
I would like to know if anyone has created a CSV file which has 10,000,000 objects ?
1) The data is received via an API call.
2) The maximum data received is 1000 objects at once. So it needs to be in some loop to retrieve and insert the data.11 -
I really don't want to ask for likes... But my life has been getting shittier and shittier. Mental problems. Relationship problems. Coding problems.
A stress ball could really help.1 -
How to get clicks on YouTube:
Step 1: wait for a mayor phone manufacturer to release a new phone.
Step 2: make a video with the title 'X reasons why you shouldn't buy <insert new phones name>'
Step 3: ???
Step 4: profit.4 -
<insert bear grylls meme>
Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.
Lesson learned: take measures before buying parts
4 -
On IT English lesson:
Professor: Simple question - how do we call all devices inside computer, like HDD, or CPU.
Some random guy: International Devices
*Insert loudest facepalm here*3 -
Bashing our fellow developers for using <insert tech> is not cool. This especially became overboard with PHP. And yes I've been guilty of this, despite using PHP before for so long as well.
https://justmarkup.com/log/2018/...6 -
What the fuck is so hard about vim? Press i for insert mode, esc for visual mode. How is that so hard to remember? There's like 2 commands at most that you need to know18
-
Am I the only one who frequently forgets to hit the insert key again when I'm done with it and then go and accidentally overwrite some other stuff unintentionally?
4 -
I was pressing 'j' in vim and it was typing 'j' onto the screen and i was like what the fuck, why is typing j inserting a j into my file. Realised i was accidentally in insert mode.
# Just vim things.2 -
endor's first magical adventures with PostgreSQL
"Alright, got the docker image up and running, and I'm connected to the db, both from console and from Datagrip! Cool, let's get started with the tutorial!"
*cue montage of me using Datagrip to create my first schema, then the first table, then insert a bunch of data to try things out*
"Cool, now let's see if I can view my data from the console"
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [nothing]
"*Ahem*, I said:"
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [nothing]
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [cricket noises]
"Wut, why can't I see the data that I inserted? Wtf is going on?"
*30 minutes later*
"Alright, I have no idea what's going on, so let's try inserting the data from console and see if Datagrip can see it"
db1-# insert into my_schema.table1(id, name, field2, field3) values (1, 'Mike', null, 123), (2, 'Jake', 0, 456);
ERROR: syntax error at or near "SELECT"
LINE 2: SELECT
^
"Wait, what?"
db1-# insert into my_schema.table1(id, name, field2, field3) values (1, 'Mike', null, 123), (2, 'Jake', 0, 456);
INSERT 0 2
"Wtf? Haaang on... "
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1;
id | name | field2 | field3
----+------+--------+--------
1 | Mike | | 123
2 | Jake | 0 | 456
1 | Mike | | 123
2 | Jake | 0 | 456
(4 rows)
*eye twitches*4 -
!metarant
Why do the notifications say "<insert your name here> +1'd your (Rant||Comment)" when it should say "++'d your (Rant||Comment)". 😜6 -
I am not good with kids. I know I know. Last week or so, my managers kid thought it would be a good idea to hijack my meeting. I was sharing my screen and on full blown explanation mode, only to realise after my explanation, it was the kid who was looking at my face and not the boss man.
God I panicked. I was like 'Who the hell are you?'
--------*INSERT AWKWARD SILENCE HERE *---------2 -
- Genie!
- Yes lord?
- Please make Mendix modeler Linux compatible so I can remove fcking Windows os
- "insert shocked Pikachu meme here"3 -
- Sometimes seeing all of you people have jobs as coders makes me depressed 😅.
- I couldn't even write a program (a few weeks ago) to insert an element into an array and shift the proceeding elements up one location 😩😢😓.
- Yes, that's how beginner I am 😳.
- Please, Don't kick me out of the community 😨.5 -
I'm surprised a lot of people still don't realize that passphrases are way better than an 8 character gibberish word.
I've even tried convincing a friend and he thought I was lying.
(insert relevant xkcd link)-->https://xkcd.com/936/ -
I don't wanna ask (insert search engine of your choice) but devRant today:
How would you define a
- nerd
- geek
etc
Is it an insult or status to be proud of?12 -
Teehee exdee look at me I'm currently facing [insert typical quirk with language] I must be achieving zen in [insert language] ohemgee so frustrating rawr >.< xD I can make a heavy sigh and slap a sticker on my laptop with a funny teehee ell oh ell programmers only funny funny joke about <table> flipping EXxxxDEEEeeeeee!!1
-
I had an error caused by a random "i" in my code i had inserted somewhere in my IDE... to go into insert mode4
-
Why are people behaving like communist dramaqueens on every OSS repo?
Why do OSS libraries and frameworks have to be political cunts and insert *the current thing* into every god damn console message of their tooling and on their websites?
Stop it. Get some help.
I want to code, not be a aborted political SJW fetus. Let me fucking code in peace.5 -
Supervisor: Go interview the client for requirements
Client:i want insert,update blablabla and searching,
Me: Delete?
Client:Nope we want store the data blablabla forever..
*after few weeks*
Supervisor:Can i see the progress?
Me: sure
Supervisor: where is the delete function? I want the delete button !!
Me: :/ *why the hell i hav to meet the client if i need to fllow my supervisor requirements*
#PracticalStudent #Internship #Confusing6 -
If you ever feel useless, you could be one of those guys on stackoverflow who answers a question with "use {insert library}"4
-
I have a Yahoo app on my phone for some legacy purposes. I just allowed the storage access permissions when it was asking for it during the installation or something, cause like, who doesn't? I checked my Yahoo Mail on the browser tonight and saw copies of my mobile photos in it! It's through the Attach Icon > Insert animated GIF. WTF? So that's how you can easily get hacked from apps?
-
What is the thought process which goes behind wearing a mask on a video call meeting?
[a] virtue signalling
[b] Idiocy
[c] <insert your answer>11 -
We're so defensive about listening to music while [insert concentration-intensive task here]. Instrumentals, piano, EDM, what have you. Deep down, we know it's distracting us. It's just so hard for us to admit that. 😂😂😂4
-
We want one system for all our branches with booking and (inserts 73 huge features crucial to business operations)
- okay, *sends quotation*
You know, we just want a custom made website with (insert 23 major features)
- okay, *sends quotation*
You know, we want a wordpress site, we can expand late
- ...2 -
Started getting into drawing to get it all out, thought some of you might find this humorous, given our strange nature.
Same rules apply as other social media. If this upsets you, insert a tampon and jog on.
14 -
I thought I'd seen the worst possible code.
Until I saw this stored procedure. It was forming a string of JSON by concatenation of double quotes and queries in between.
No wonder it took upwards of 200 seconds to insert just one record.2 -
devRantron AutoStart on boot, is pure evil......
me (almost) everyday:
Today i want to complete <insert a task here>
9 AM:
*me typing password in sddm (KDE Login)*
*ENTER* the first thing i see is devRantron's window already open and active.
*Ok, let me check recent rants for 2 minutes*
*me watching the clock in the corner* -- it's 10AM oh shit!1 -
Funniest still was when I changed google.com to go to yahoo.com and visa versa. Also made the Xerox panel display "Insert Coins to continue"... Fun times, funny April fool's prank.
-
I'm just attending an online conference of a big, global company. They are redesigning their internal websites and going through all the improvements. Just then a question pops up in chat:
"Will we be able to insert moving gif files into the new sites?"
Sheeeeeesh, 1990 feelings... -
I have this bad habit of starting projects that are way out of my league after getting ridiculously over-ambitious ideas.
”Yeah, let me just do this <insert ambitious project in an area of programming I know next to nothing about> with <insert languge I’ve never written a line with before>. It’ll be fine...”1 -
RESTful API Question
Let's say when a user do an action, I need to insert a record into a table and then update a record in different table.
Should I write two API routes (PUT, POST) or one route (POST) ?18 -
!rant
Bless websites that allow you to insert emoji's by using the : in the input box.
I hate it when I have to search for the thinking emoji and not being able to use :thinking:5 -
<rant>
How the hell do these people have a senior position?
<rant-cause>
Sdev:"The are no vulnerabilities in my code because i have Avast running at the same time"
</rant-cause>
SecOps: "<insert potoo bird reaction>"
</rant>
-
Fun experience backing up my laptop drice to external hdd :
1 folder : 100 sub folders with 12000 files, size 6gb
>> Ctrl A-> ctrl C -> ctrl v
>> Copying time 55 mins , files remaining 12000
CANCEL CANCEL CANCEL!!
>> add to archive (5 mins) -> ctrl c, ctrl v
>> copying time 6 mins , files remaining 1
(*Insert hackerman meme here*)2 -
The 'farewell great manager Jim' party on Monday.
The [insert name of a department] Christmas party on Wednesday, which you shouldn't miss because they want the company to be more integrated.
The [insert name of your department] Christmas party on Friday, which is separate from the other party because they want the company to be more inte... wait.
The hackathon on Saturday and Sunday, because coding all night for free to create buzz around the company's name is always fun.
The team meeting where the product manager presents all the shinny new things they're thinking about presenting to the client while our deadline is still a couple of weeks away. "And the engineering team knows exactly what to do, right?" Yeah, sure, if you say so. -
Him: i get this error when i insert into table, ForeignKey_contraint failed, what can i do?
Me: you have to obey the constraint, make sure it exists in the other table first
Him: ok i did that but i still get ForeignKey constraint error
Me: yeah that table has a couple foreign keys
Him: could you give me a very specific example how to insert into this table
Me: ........ here is a command to remove constraints on the table
Him: thanks, that fixed it!
I am helping a programmer who works with Costco integrate to software my company sells. I don't have source code, just an understanding of the database and what the software does. If he is getting paid more than me, then I should get a job there and ask for double, I could easily work 10 times faster than this buffoon. -
I was working on a simple notebook project in java (console app)
But I think I need a little help :
When user wants to edit a note , he should write the note all over again!
How can insert the current note in console(like user input) so that the user can iterate and modify the text ?
Thanks3 -
+1 if you are interested in Augmented Reality technologies, have some presentations and assignments made and you are writing your Master thesis for Augmented Reality only to find yourself working for a company that wants from you to update somehow a project with 5 years old code written from some secret antisocial society that hates readability and you as a developer and a human being and wants from you to somehow understand why they call C# method only to return a string that contains all the html tags but no data and then insert the data in JavaScript splitting the same string.
Come on, give me a break! I m still trying, though I still haven't found where exactly the program learns the data to insert or it just knows (no questions asked)...6 -
How do you guy (think of) prototype UI?
I have used the pen and paper approach but when you add the interactions such as clicks and animation on the paper,it become messy.
I feel that coding up a full blown front end for prototyping is overkill. Because when you want to prototype the list , you also need to insert the dummy data in order for you see probably clicks and drag animation.11 -
I keep seeing a bunch of posts about WhatsApp or Signal or (insert messaging app here). Does anyone here use Keybase?
https://keybase.io/14 -
Me : *insert random name here* .js is a sign you are lazy devs.
My Friend : Meh, this is just side project. Only to try it out.
Me : You still can do that fast in plain js tho.
Also Me Sometimes later:
MF : whacha tryna' do?
Me : gonna deploy this app real quick.
MF : what js framework do you use ?
Me : Yes.
God something's wrong with me. Fucking hell.2 -
It's just that your team doesn't have experience in "insert platform name here" so we want to use a third party to move "insert product name here" into it.
My first thought: why don't you just train the team with the product knowledge in the new platform rather than the other way around? Does anyone else see this happen and want to eat glass every time it does?4 -
The sentence we all dread:
"My stereo (insert any other piece of home tech...) is acting up, call ______ he works with computer's he'll know what to do"
ME: "Take it to the service shop, I'm a programmer not an electrical engineer"
After that you can't help but think they're thinking you just suck at your job... "pff he know's nothing" -
Not really a devs rant.
I ordered a HDD from samsung with more storage online. Today I wanted to replace it. When i took it out i was shortly confused, which one i had to insert, so i though the one with Samsung label had to be it.
Well, it wasn't1 -
Accidentally saying out loud "oh for fucks sake" when you overhear someone, talking on the phone, say "oh you're going to ask {Insert your name here} to do that" and you're already overloaded.
-
I am so done with these “Top *insert a number*” websites that use slides to show items and every time you go to the next slide it loads another page. Why can’t they just use one of the thousands of javascript frameworks and load the page once?!?!1
-
* Customer reports bug.
* I fix the bug.
* This highlights another issue that I haven't got enough resources to fix.
* I revert the fix.
* <insert hacky workaround here>
We have code that invokes undefined behaviour (freeing memory twice), but somehow people have managed to build around it and now it depends upon it to work.
FML. -
I don't get publicity hungry personalities on Medium. Their usual headlines :
"Why we left `${ insert framework}`. There's nothing wrong with it though."
Either have the balls to say you didn't do your homework when you started, or hold your peace.
Don't screw the hardworking folks whose code you depended on before bailing out. -
!dev
I've seen a growing trend in series.
If an author wants to insert a romantic sub-plot into a very much mature series,
He won't write it in a believable way, fitting the tone of series.
Instead he will insert cheap teen-drama and make the audience cringe to death.
What is it with this shit?3 -
I don't know what's wrong with using Bootstrap
*insert office dude meme*
And at this point I'm afraid to ask5 -
I gotta let this out. I apologize..
Why the FUUUCK does MySQL not let me log into my FUCNING ROOT USER AND THE OTHER USER I MADE...
I thought i fixed it a few days ago, but apparently not. Now im considering trashing this shitproject for a while.
*insert awesome words that illustrate extreme rage and a broken keyboard*9 -
TIFU by running DELETE-INSERT on a live server and losing thousands of rows from a separate table. 🤤
TIL If you delete data from indexed table, it will affect any linked tables. I think. Fml. 🤕
At least it was a learning experience for all of us. Hopefully if I keep repeating it enough it will become true...3 -
Both my actual and previous boss. Egocentric, narcisitic, unfit for their roles, detached from reality, intransigents, etc.
Can't really understand how guys like these become CTO or CTO wannabes when others are more qualified... Whatever... They are smart on taking care of "their" life. <insert shrug here>3 -
5th time I've lost my place on the feed. Also for the love of god why have they not made a face palm emoji? I need that in my life
9 -
>stick holding important data goes bad ("Insert DVD" IT'S A FUCKING FLASH DRIVE)
>no backups as it's a flash drive so my PC never did an auto-backup despite being configured to do so
>might be recoverable
>"short pins 2 and 3 while running tool to reconfigure NAND and controller then recover data from quick format with TestDisk"
*looks at drive*
Well.
Fuck.
it's not even sharp enough to slit my wrists with
-
1) What is the size of your team?
2) What is the size of your company?
3a) Do you have one on ones with your manager, tech lead and/or scrum master (insert whatever position you have one on ones with if you have them)
3b) How often do you meet?5 -
Parsing logs to create conditional insert statements cause expert morons fucked up production database cluster.
Database is partially corrupted and cannot be used and they don’t know how to fix it.2 -
Numbers (from mac) sucks big fucking time!
Its like assuming your retarded, I cant save a file .whatever without it trying to insert the fucking numbers extension...
While buying excel what do you recommend?1 -
It's sad that I only found out what the insert key does today. I used to restart my machine just to make everything normal after hitting the key by mistake1
-
I really love LaTeX. It’s very much what makes the written word enjoyable, which helps when writing a thesis. Then I insert an image.
-
No QA Steve I will not insert a massive feature into the project no matter how high of an importance you deem it or how awesome you think it is.2
-
The problem with those USB sticks that don't have the cover over them is that you can insert them upside down.
That turns out to be harder to fault find than when it just doesn't go in... -
!dev
That moment when you see someone selling your eBay products with the exact same pictures, exact same descriptions on another site but with double the price.
Enquired about it and suddenly I get an eBay message.
What do we have here? It's the exact same username from the other site!
Now, how should I play with this guy....
*Insert evil smile here*2 -
Plan when I get home:
sit down, eat, maybe play something, maybe watching something, begin my rise to C# domination *insert evil laugh*
Reality when I got home:
sit down, get chores, stop halfway and rant, curse the slavery to the powers that be, being the parents ofcourse -
FFS, I'm so fucking done. I spend half an hour helping somebody finding an error on start up only to accidentally solve it by telling him to insert some print statements.
-
-fills out web form-
-company sends txt message-
Txt Message: "Thanks for contacting us about X, would you like to schedule <insert thing>?
Me Thinking: Oh awesome I can just schedule it via txt!
Me: "Yes, I would like to schedule time to get an estimate on <insert thing>."
Txt Message: "Please call us at..."
Me: "wtf... yeah I know your number."2 -
I received the following e-mail today:
Hey, XYZ! Could you please check the following in your web application. The data do not show correctly. Could it be a bug?
[insert attached screenshot with said "bug"]
My reply:
Hey, ABC! It is not a bug. You uploaded the data into the wrong table. 😊
[insert attached screenshot with the incriminating evidence]
-----------------------------
I felt a bit savage and I liked it. 🔥4 -
• *insert intelligent-sounding phrase here*
• like i care about your too many bullet points on your LinkedIn... -
They think I am responsible for every website and app out there. (Ex. Can you make Facebook do ~insert ridiculous request~?)
Umm... NO! -
Does the computer push all dots up 1 line and create a new line, or just reset the current line once it reaches the end? *insert uglyfied thinking emoji*
5 -
I dreamt we had a linux shell build-in our brains. Was not that useful though because it was kind of sandboxed so you could neither access any memories or brain functions, nor insert any data other than text. But at least you could test some bash scripts and such.9
-
User: your python script is giving me error, <insert stack trace indicating a missing directory on the system path>
Me: Did you add the directory to the path
User: yes
Walks over to desk checks path, finds a space after the semicolon separator before the directory.
Removes space, problem fixed
Why Windows, why can't you just strip the white space.
Returns to desk, hides underneath and waits out the end of the day 😿 -
So... we are changing our cache system to a fastest one.
I suggested an update method (with code samples included) as we currently only manage insert and remove... making impossible any modification of a list in cache without getting the entire list, modifying whatever we want and insert again everything.
Answer: 'It could work, but we want to keep the previous system behavior'
Why. SMH3 -
That feeling when you insert the driver disk for a wireless adapter to find they actually do provide Linux drivers!!!!!
Nobody ever provides Linux drivers, this is a god send! Thank you!
That feeling when they don't compile correctly! Damn you! ASUS pls. Halp. You're so close to being amazing. -
concept: a PCI/PCI-e/SATA/IDE device allowing for booting from a "HDD" which is, in reality, EPROM. Not EEPROM, EPROM. For purposes of, say, having an uninfectable copy of HBCD 15.2 or HBCD 10 PE you can insert and forget about without consuming a USB slot or disc drive.2
-
Useless language feature #1: specify kind in explicit expression type annotations that you insert to guide the type inference engine.
How did I work on this for 6 months without realizing that the kind of a value's type is always the kind of types because that's literally what the kind of types means?2 -
Spending all day trying to install cockpit cms.
- bad permission.
*insert here all of swear-word you know" -
Is it just me who thinks that the "insert" key is the most useless and annoying key piece?
It's beside backpack, I accidentally press it. I really haven't found any uses for it so far...5 -
I love it when I see posts on any social media site or app where it's like
"Looking for someone to hack a <insert social site> account"
Do they not know how secure those sites tend to be?
Do they think it's as easy as CSI makes it out to be?
or
Maybe they're the police trying to trick us -
Every time I see this kind of flow:
1) Insert a new record
2) Get MAX(Id) as the inserted records Id
3) Operate with the result (possibly adding related entities and such)
I sigh so hard, it hurts.1 -
My default google search: I am a fucking moron how the fuck do I [insert problem] when i know nothing about it.
-
Teammate used some excel sheet concoction/gimmick to execute hundreds of thousands insert statements on production tables. A few days later (when I'm on call), I find out he didn't adjust the cell formatting on the aforementioned excel "tool", so all the network addresses from the insert statements were put in scientific notation, on prod...thus breaking a lot of the things. FML
-
Trying to learn <insert name of programming language>...
Can't find any useful documentation or examples.2 -
Because I dev, people think of me as a tech guru to consult on everything related to anything more tech than a stone.
Like guiding people on how to insert their ethernet cable when "the internet suddenly shut down".2 -
What would be the best language to build a randomiser?
I want to build a little program where you can insert a number of items and picks one at random.22 -
Maybe someone can help me.
Guys my team uses a master catalog to configure products in CRM application.
The master catalog is a "hidden Eclipse", it has the same interface. But this application has really problems with performance, is too slow.... It usues only 500mb of ram per users.
I try to find a configuration properties but nothing...
Do you have any idea?
(Is like the "Smart Insert" as the image attached btw)
5 -
Me clicking on "New article" ...
Title:
<span onclick='return 1248 == prompt('When the construction of the Cologne Cathedral started?');">Click me to open the treasure</span>
Text:
<span onmouseover="alert('No?');" style="width:100%;height:500px;">It's ok that every editor can insert arbitrary HTML?</span>
Don't worry, it's a dev server but still bad to see -
few days ago: I assign ticket to new programmer
today: receive message "Hi, quick question: I have the task pretty much done. The only thing I am stuck on is {insert one line summary of task}. Is there an example file where this was done before? Or do you have any thoughts on this?"
ticket system: "{tags me} This is mostly done. just need help {insert one line summary of task}."1 -
good guy pexel allows me to insert free random kitten pictures as an easter egg, retrieving all by a tidy api. made my day.
no affiliation, only gratitude. -
Hi! I've Been Watching a Tutorial series on How to make Amazon clone by nodejs,mongodb. He used Faker Api to insert Product but I tried to make a seperate Layout to insert product but using Async but it keeps saying "Cannot read Property '_id' of undefined.
12 -
I bit the bullet and got a copy of Windows 10. I’m going to insert this into my computer and upgrade when I get home. Pray for those who are near me when I fuck this computer all up. And watch for flying tools...2
-
It seems I am developing a habit to always forget to test "fetch" code in a repository, found two unit tests having all insert/update/delete but not a single fetch function T_T
-
So this semester we started to explore how to create interface using html php and so on.Bonus marks will be given for project that have interface.Because we are too excited about the interface we forget the main objectives were update,delete,insert and record.. 🙃🤣
-
Not a rant, but an argument between my colleagues and I over an erroneous form in a nutshell:
Them: -insert xyz deductions-
Me, an intellectual: The page is being redirected before the form processing finishes
Them: Buuuuullshit, how can that be?
Me: JavaScript.
15 minutes later, I emerged victorious. How? Because JavaScript. -
Anyone uses Tmux and Vim with NON ASCII Right to Left Lang (Persian/Hebrew, ..)? That combination is a shit and gets worse if you enable mouse on vim and tmux. Every insert made screen to dance and characters to tumble. switched to Screen.2
-
Why is the syntax of SQL INSERT so completely different to the syntax of UPDATE?
...proceeds to rewrite multiple 60 column inserts into updates...2 -
"we don't care about the statement of work or that you've fulfilled it. We want <insert massive list if unrelated and unrealistic requirements here>."
Yeah, we'll eat a bullet you ham-fisted, knob gobbling buffons. -
Going trough word document with client comments on website and this is last small tweak "Please can you insert the ‘Shop’ tab to the top of the page on the far right. "
-
Php, laravel.
A form wasn't showing a drop down but it was for a colleague.
I insert a space at the end of the file and save
Drop down shows
Wtf php / laravel....2 -
what about security ! when u put your file url to update - insert - download data in databes ! u give easy access to evry hacker in word ! how can i secur it 😑😑?3
-
Why is PHP PDO such a b*tch to work with?
One minute it says it’ll accept one query via one method for one insert but then deny the next query you give it, all because of “:” within bindParam() -
New job
Week 3: We might assign you to a new Java we might be creating
Week 5: So you might be working with the other team on an webapp.
That team has taken 2 weeks to decide the tech stack to use for the webapp and still hasn't decided.
Week 7: So we have only one role available right now and that's production support.
*Insert ultra rage face*3 -
Now here is an excellent question.
How do I programmatic ally manipulate frame and audio data in a video, potentially going so far as to create and insert whole new video frames and fill in audio.30 -
Me, thinking of removing clothes from the drying line: "you need to insert the clothes into the house"
-
If you use a fucking editor plugin to insert semicolons for you, why even insert them in the first place? They're fucking optional, goddamn it5
-
So,
sqlite lets you violate foreign key constraints on insert.
so you then can't delete the row you added
which has absolutely no child data so it shouldn't be preventing you from deleting it.
wtf.16 -
First assignment of the algorithms, data structures and computability module Im doing for my degree.
Priority queues can all eat a bowl of dicks.
It’s just an insert method, I can insert a node into an empty queue, I can insert a new node at the start of the queue.
But trying to insert a node into a specific place in the queue is making my brain hurt.4 -
SQL Developer imports. Fucking SQL Developer imports!
"insert failed for rows 800-899"
y u no tell which row specifically and why, you goddamn hateful son of a bitch!?!?! -
I hate those people that comment on threads saying shit like “just google it” or “oh fuck another [insert popular topic] thread we don’t need another one.” Fuck off. It’s an online discussion forum. If it’s shit content the mods will remove it, otherwise no one is forcing your sorry, lonely pathetic ass to stop scrolling, click the thread, and read the god damn post. Just fucking turn off your computer and read a book.2
-
For any question about doing something, anyone who tries to insert their own opinion about doing something without answering the question at all is a low level Redditor cunt.9
-
Fuck domain re-sellers who don't know what they're doing, you fucking moron you do not need DNS if the Service provider is same as domain and hosting, all you had to do was to change A record with @/${Insert IP Address here} values, it's taking you ages to do that, fucking idiots.
I will probably ask to transfer the domain name to my account if that is possible.9 -
joining some certain startup pitching competition and they decided the 6 winners before pitching
me : *insert WHAT? gif1 -
Today.
Computer science classroom.
We had to do a very simple program in Java: the user have to insert four coordinates, the program create two points and then a segment, in the end calculate the length of the segment.
Me: about 30 minutes.
Rest of the class: 2 hours aren't enough.
I think I'll never understand... -
Write your <insert language here> code like the person who's going to be maintaining it 6 months from now is a vicious psychopath and knows where you live.
-
After some joyful years with typescript i learned that my major code base didn't use strict mode. I changed and now i feel i don't know typescript at all. Some things get irritatingly complicated now although it's even more resilient now for sure. I am not sure how to feel about it. So to the typescript out there: Do you use strict? A custom set of rules?6
-
8 hours of coding later and Im back where I began, and Im not even a dev, Im a sysadmin with a little PHP background tasked to write a Sku generating bundle for a PIM running on symphony.
<Insert I have no idea what Im doing dog meme here>1 -
I was just asked to create one PBI for an entire project that will last months. Why bother. <insert sarcasm here> let’s just go back to using excel and waterfall.
-
It's probably best that I stop looking at my coding bootcamp's Slack group. "I got hired at (insert famous startup name)!" or "First day at (insert famous tech company name)!" It just messes with me.
-
Sort "insert file name here" | uniq -c outputs the same file in a bash script but in a command it works. Any ideas?6
-
When a recruiter makes an unsolicited call. Becomes all chummy and then when you tell them that you’re not looking, they have the cheek to ask you for references for *insert common buzzword here* and expect me to divulge information about contacts.1
-
For a project we have a choice between:
Storing documents, images, videos and textual data in a database. Provide relations for searching and a GUI for uploads. Web and mobile (I only have experience with RDBMS)
Solution for digitally signing documents with asymmetric cryptography. Provide web and mobile GUI. Also something about ad hoc signing (possibly insert usb stick to sign?)(know a good bit of cryptography already)
Which one should we pick? (5 man group)3 -
*SmartClient*
Almost destroy our enterprise project with 50 plus team members. Its just unbelieveable slow to load in browser.
INSERT INTO bad_memory; -
started to learn vi. Well, options are amazing, way it works is amazing. But those shortcuts are so goddam not intuitive. Why the heck ce is remove word and insert?!3
-
class CircularBuffer
{
public:
CircularBuffer();
void insert(int circularArgument);
};
Déjà vu? Have we discussed this before? I think the old horse we beat is still laying on the floor.
I really really wanted this to be funnier that it is. It is not. This feels like the moment in Office Space when they tell the old guy that his invention is the worst idea anyone has ever had.1 -
Postgresql fucking sucks.
Checked 17th time the whole. The code was fuckin perfect .
But the postgresql and sequelizer gives error whenever I try to insert anything to the DB.
Literally wasted 6hours figuring out a lil unwanted shit.9 -
UAHHHH.... I feel like in the 90s....
It didn’t happen for a long long time for me but now Word (2010 for the people who want to know) crashed and my last two pages are lost...
Yeah yeah.... save often.... save early.... before you press the insert page number button... uahhhh3 -
Problems with vi or vim
:Q! ( You may not leave shift button while pressing q button)
Insert ?? Sorry Read only mode ... -
==<insert dazzlingly sincere and provocative comment based on literally the same willfully stupid events here<===
God fix shit already ! -
def longVariableNamesEverywhere(*args):
"""
Not a substitute for docstrings and code comments.
"""
#TODO: insert witty and legible code.
#TODO: learn to read code.
return "Rant and self-deprecation complete."4 -
The fact that 2 devs complain about node-sass sequentially on my feed says a lot about node-sass.
Thank God for --insert-something-enjoyable- in the comments please.1 -
Is asking the question on Stack Overflow 'how to insert <script> elements from .md comments in .css files to a nuxt.js-based site' a point where I should rethink my life and code design choices? Or should I see where this insanity will lead me?3
-
Thanks sefuckalize-mock for not letting me insert 2 row,
Now Im replicating the whole sequelize module itself to stub shit for no reason idk fuck this why am I doing this for stupid unit testing -
I have to make an api to call our clients, an then we have to insert they answers in to our DB. Which is the best IVR option?
-
My Spark Program to process changes from Kafka topic to DB table is working end-to-end. But when it is manually terminated when an insert/update/delete is in progress, the whole tables data gets dropped. How can I handle this in a safe way?3
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