ERRORs are red,
INFOs are blue.
My logs look pretty,
But not as pretty as-
Wait, hold on. Why are there ERRORs in here?
Why is the homepage returning a 5- oh crap.
Can you just... Can you give me a minute?

The DNS server I'm writing in PHP (largely taken from another project) is starting to work!

Next to just blocking queries it logs every blocked query so I can have stats :3

A little terminal output:

“Any application that can be written in JavaScript, will eventually be written in JavaScript.” — Jeff Atwood

Fast-forward 20 years, a plane crashes, they find and open the black box and in the flight logs they can see the cause clearly: ”undefined is not a function”.

A dude with a THICK Russian accent just called me offering server security services.

After I politely declined, he insisted on a free audit of my servers. I declined that as well.

Now I’m backing up our DB’s and going through my nginx logs.

Am I being racist?

Do not disturb someone especially if they are in the zone.

Hint : earphones on, a ton of error logs on screen.

Error logs...

I accidently left log.debug("bollocks") ;
In an exception handler our customers log monitoring system picked it up and they questioned why and I quote here "why is there a spike in bollocks at 3am?"
That was an awkward conference call

I think I'm going to become a lumberjack. I spend half of my days looking at logs.

How the exception logs have turned

Happy new year!
If you feel alone tonight, read your firewall logs.

!rant
Deployed my first website to production yesterday and the world isn't burning, the error logs have been empty and my (non-tech) colleagues think it is amazing.
I'm somewhat proud of myself.

You, stupid fucking game, have just sent me my new password in plain text via email?

"the password is encrypted and cannot be sent again"???
So… you send the password in plain text, and only then encrypt it, right?
But it's still in plain text in your email logs, fucking bastards.

Got bored at work today and tried to write a program to do my job for me. Security and compliance saw it in the logs (trying to run unauthorized program) and came to give me a hug.

Victory!

Today I finally closed a 'Nessy' bug (A scary bug you can't reproduce typically only sighted by one person). Below is my response...

"There were no errors in the error logs because writing to the error log was causing the error."

Fuckin hell!!

Code works everywhere except at one client. Ok, I check logs & see something missing.. I go check the code that handles excel files.. try catch and do nothing.. great.. :/ ok let's log this shit to see what is not ok...
Insert logs, build, update, run.. now it freakin works o.O

Quantum bugs.

Code starts working when the only thing you do is examine it with console logs.

Found some error logs on the prod server.
🤔
🤔
Deleted them unread.
Problems solved.

Thursday: Hey wife…. I finished my project and tomorrow I should have a very easy day, just watching Slack.

Friday: Database— corrupted bin logs, major production outages.

Wife: 😡I can never believe you when you say you’ll have an easy day.

Scratching my head for an hour because a function wasn't being called. Checked my backend server and all the logs.

Then I realised I commented out the function call. 😠😭😭😞

Angry Client: All the data from this account is missing. I can't work like this with the app loosing data.

Me: Checks logs, see that client pressed the reset all data button and after that the confirmation button.

Me: As polite as possible informing the client what he did.

Client: Ooh yeah I did that.

It's sad that it has come to the point where you need logs on pressing buttons because they try to blame everything on the app.

Coded for hours, compiled, and got no errors, no warnings

*Logs out of devRant to be productive.*

*Still recieves notifications even though I logged out."

*Fails to be productive for the entire day.*

It's almost 10 pm and I still didn't do any homework. I guess I'm going to disable devRant using clearlock again. :(

Have trouble sleeping?
Just tail -f your logs and watch

Just imagine, if someday some client or some manager logs on to devrant and see the amount of hate we people give them... Just imagine their faces 🐑😂😂😂😂

To all newbie developers,

Before you ask a doubt about an issue to someone else,

Try doing an initial investigation to find the root cause,
Look into the logs,
Find the stack trace,
Google things,
Have breakpoints and try to debug.

You come to me with a weird NullPointerException and ask me why,
Without even looking into the logs once? We ain't God bro.

Created a function called upDawg and started sprinkling it all over the code base. Waiting to see who catches it in our next code review.

All it does is console logs 'Not much man, you?'

So my neighbor needed my help with her notebook. She said she has to provide a new password everytime she logs in. I asked her to log in in front of my eyes. She entered her password and clicked "forgot password" instead of "login" 😐

Did you ever hear of "return" ?

One of my older servers just went down. It's been hacked. How do I know this you ask? Is it mining bitcoin?

No - windows event viewer has no errors in the logs for the last 48 hours.

> Customer logs Jira ticket claiming app is not working
< I restart the app, investigate and explain tht their server has issues
ø Client closes the ticket as Resolved
-- a couple of days pass by ---

> Customer logs Jira ticket claiming app is not working
< I restart the app, investigate and explain tht their server has issues
ø Client closes the ticket as Resolved
-- a couple of days pass by ---

> Customer logs Jira ticket claiming app is not working
< I restart the app, investigate and explain tht their server has issues
ø Client closes the ticket as Resolved
-- a couple of days pass by ---
<...>

< I log a JIRA ticket explaining what and how is wrong with the server with suggestions how to fix the problem so the app will not crash any longer (client own the server, has his own sysadmins -- I don't even had permissions to open syslog.. had to hack dmesg on their PROD server to pin-point the issue)
> no reaction from customer for weeks. I ping the ticket

× app crashes again

> no reaction from customer for weeks. I ping the ticket
> customer leaves a comment that their sysadmins are looking at it trying to figure out what might be wrong (ignoring what I wrote in ticket's description??? srsly?)

× app crashes again
< I post detail investigation details: snips from logs, screenshots, everything with crystal clear explanations.

> no reaction for weeks
......

well that's fun..

Had an interview in a MNC company.

He: Propose a solution for reading huge logs file like 1 GB and parse errors with today's date.

Me: Gave two solution, one with regex and second with buffering the logs (reason: reading the entire in same shot will cause cpu spike with huge memory consumption) and I fell in love with my second approach. By the way it was on paper.

He: (Without seeing the logic) Your syntax is wrong.

Me: Got frustrated who the hell checks syntax in interview. I asked how may years of experience you have?

He: 10 years.

Me: I don't wanna continue, and I left.

Accidentally left a test line in an API method - the first line returned a 200 OK response.
It was a notification API for our payment portal, so when they complained our API didn't work our logs always said all was fine...

After an hour of listening to our help desk guys saying "everything in our logs says it's fine", I looked at source for 2 seconds, fixed the problem, went home, had a whiskey and went to bed!

So apparently due to an extremely talkative x input driver and an error in a certain app, I've been running an emergent keylogger on my computer for half a year. On every keypress event, the driver would call the app, the app would segfault, the driver would log the incident including the event to /var/log and then crash, and the app would restart the worker. I noticed this when I started wondering why /var/log is over 100GB in size.

I had a weird dream last night where people communicated by using log statements.

Like if I wanted to say something very loud I'd think Log.wtf("WTF!") and it would appear in front of me like subtitles. Log levels were equivalent to tone level.

The scene was basically a bunch of people with log statements of various levels in front of them and their lips moving with no sound.

I think I need a vacation.

Emojis can make messages playful, fun, exciting.
Your documentation and commit logs should be none of this.
Keep your emojis the fuck out of them.

(Meeting with Client)
Client: The script you sent us is broken... It can't run... We can't test now. (Their supervisor even insinuated that I did that on purpose :/ What?!)
Asked for logs, googled for solutions. Moments later.
Client: Oh it's our server's problem.
:/

5 hours on the call. No end in sight. Nothing in logs, errors, or captures. Want to cry.

LOGS
Discover the expected.
Uncover the unexpected.

Me: Yes! I'm finally ready to upload my first Android app to PlayStore, im so excited!!

Google: Make sure to remove all the Log calls from your code.

Me: *Finds out that there's no way Android studio can make it for you*
FUUUUUUUU**

Girl I work with says she's going to make a change on the "back-end of the website"... logs into Wordpress... no comment, just keep swimming

I asked for some logs of the server... The guy brought me stacks of paper with logs from the server....

Something big happened on 9/9

Just found old logs I had with an ex-client, pre-devrant:

"What if we add the newsletter checkbox to the login, so each time a user logs in, he has to uncheck it, or else he will be subscribed to our newsletter?"

Not sure if that even needs a comment, I am speechless that was an actual suggestion, ever.

Overnight crash. The realization of why servers keep logs just hit me like a wall.

Once my fuckin annoying colleague replaced all console.log to alert in our hybrid app..

And back then my testing logs used to be idiotically profane :|

Needless to say, I faced the fuckin wrath of clients :/

*launch software*
> goes tits up with no info
*restart machine, launch software*
> still goes tits up
*su to the user it runs as and run it manually because fuck you shitstaind*
> still goes tits up
*launch with debug logs enabled*
> suddenly works

What is this black magic?!

mysql server crashes every 18 days, no oom, no crash logs, no sigkill being sent (used auditd). so I figure it's a unknown corner case bug in mysql. now I use a cron job to restart the damn thing every week at 3am, not a problem anymore

> dockerized gitea stops working 502,
> other gitea with same config works just fine
> is the same config the issue? maybe the network names can't be the same?
> no
> any logs from the reverse proxy?
> no
> does it return anything at all on that port?
> no
> any logs inside the container?
> no
> maybe it logs to the wrong file?
> no others exist
> try to force custom log levels
> ignored
> try to kill the running pid
> it instantly restarts
> try to run a new instance with specifying the new config
> ignores config
> check if theres anything even listening
> nothing is listening on that port, but is listening in the other working gitea container
> try to destroy the container and force a fresh container
> still the same issue
> maybe the recent docker update broke it? try to make a new one and move only necessary
> mkdir gitea2
> all files seem necessary
> guess I'll try to move the same folder here
> it works
> it is exactly the same files as in gitea1, just that the folder name is different
>

When you can't figure out where you are supposed to add your code in the teams massive android spaghetti codebase. So you just add logs to every function that might be related to track down the function you need.

Some of the dinosaurs maintaining legacy systems are rather well meaning, but somewhat frustratingly don't seem to have updated their knowledge of what counts as "a lot of storage space" beyond the early 90's. Just asked one of them if they could dump all the legacy logs to AWS each day so we could keep them for 6 months or so (they're rolled over weekly otherwise.)

"Well I mean we can, but are you sure? *All* the logs? You could end up storing close to 100MB of logs a month! Won't that be prohibitively expensive?!"

It's rather cute really.

Did i just get rick rolled through a user agent?

"[17/Nov/2020:10:20:42 +0000] "GET / HTTP/1.1" 200 1274 "-" "We are no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment is what Im thinking of. You wouldnt get this from any other guy.." "-""

Have been trying to setup Netdata as a monitoring system for a while now and finally got it working!

Instead of the built-in webhooks I just did a curl to a url containing a php page/file which error logs the status and description (just for testing).

It took me way too long to get it to work but BAM.
Immediately made a new cpu load rule (one minute high load):
The satisfaction of getting an error message in the php logs containing my custom rule as warning and a minute later as critical 😍

Netdata ❤

I goddamn hate reading logs

By looking at our source code, I see what makes a bad programmer. I see "invalid data" in error logs, guess which of the following 3 conditions caused this:

function somefunc() {
if(condition_1) {
throw "invalid data"
}

if(condition_2) {
throw "invalid data"
}

if(condition_3) {
throw "invalid data"
}

return some_response;
}

Useful docker aliases

alias dstart='docker start "$@"'
alias dstop='docker stop "$@"'
alias drm='docker rm "$@"'
alias dip='docker inspect --format "{{ .NetworkSettings.IPAddress }}" "$@"'
alias dls="docker ps"
alias dlsa="docker ps -a"
alias dps="docker ps"
alias dimg='docker images "$@"'
alias drestart='docker restart "$@"'
alias dcommit='docker commit "$@"'
alias dinspect='docker inspect "$@"'
alias dlogs='docker logs "$@"'
alias dcp='docker cp "$@"'
alias dinfo='docker info'
alias dcompose='docker-compose "$@"'
alias dlogs='docker logs "$@"'
alias drshell='docker exec -it -u 0 "$@"'

client cto: "SOMEBODY COMPROMISED YOUR KEY!!!! IT SHOWS SOMEBODY LOGGED IN TO DEVOPS GUY'S ACCOUNT USING KALI LINUX!!!!! HERE ARE THE LOGS!!!!"

the logs: *show an ip address*

the ip address: *ip address of the office*

devops guy: *actually uses kali linux*

not really a rant, just found it funny

READ THE FUCKEN LOGS.

Have you ever checked your Teams logs??!
It even logs mouse/keyboard and window activity...

And reports it to your employer with fucking colorfull dashboards. Fuck them...

Am I the only one who create a function to save the logs?

All of my friends say that is useless 😞

today I experienced real-time bug fixing and deployment..

The phone was attached to the debugger, the client is using the app, me catching the logs.
Client: oh here is wrong behavior.
Me: *tapping on keyboard, then* ok try now please..

😅

Started part time job at a company, had to log my time on timesheets. Said fuck this and now the whole company logs their hours on a custom web based time logging system which I built.

Today I found out when a user logs in in this piece of crap: 59 calls to the api just to get user permissions 😤

I'm done...

I just got asked by a colleague why do I use different levels of a logger. He said he's been writing code for 10+ years and never needed anything other than Logger.debug() 🤦‍♂️

Where the fuck these guys get their degrees? 😒

Countries in UTC region have a relative advantage in debugging, as they don't have to add offset to datetime in logs,database etc to convert to localtime😂

User:
"Your application does not show notifies"

Test the app, search trough the logs, try and try again. Nothing.

Me:
"Did you disabled the notifies in Windows"

User:
"Yes! Uopps...."

When you want to cover all the possibilities in your error msg including parallel universes

Did somebody forgot to turn off info logs in production.

Today I just realized that a program I deployed was running without DB for almost a week. Thought it was populated suring the deploy.

Fortunately, nobody cared and was not exposed to any error logs

Why does FireFox has the shittiest dev tools?
Working on my website and it kept throwing "TypeError: Failed to fetch"
with no other info

Opened Chrome and that thing gave me the entire error without even modifying my logs code, and now I can peacefully solve the problem -.-

OMFG I don't even know where to start..
Probably should start with last week (as this is the first time I had to deal with this problem directly)..

Also please note that all packages, procedure/function names, tables etc have fictional names, so every similarity between this story and reality is just a coincidence!!

Here it goes..

Lat week we implemented a new feature for the customer on production, everything was working fine.. After a day or two, the customer notices the audit logs are not complete aka missing user_id or have the wrong user_id inserted.
Hm.. ok.. I check logs (disk + database).. WTF, parameters are being sent in as they should, meaning they are there, so no idea what is with the missing ids.

OK, logs look fine, but I notice user_id have some weird values (I already memorized most frequent users and their ids). So I go check what is happening in the code, as the procedures/functions are called ok.

Wow, boy was I surprised.. many many times..
In the code, we actually check for user in this apps db or in case of using SSO (which we were) in the main db schema..
The user gets returned & logged ok, but that is it. Used only for authentication. When sending stuff to the db to log, old user Id is used, meaning that ofc userid was missing or wrong.

Anyhow, I fix that crap, take care of some other audit logs, so that proper user id was sent in. Test locally, cool. Works. Update customer's test servers. Works. Cool..

I still notice something off.. even though I fixed the audit_dbtable_2, audit_dbtable_1 still doesn't show proper user ids.. This was last week. I left it as is, as I had more urgent tasks waiting for me..

Anyhow, now it came the time for this fuckup to be fixed. Ok, I think to myself I can do this with a bit more hacking, but it leaves the original database and all other apps as is, so they won't break.
I crate another pck for api alone copy the calls, add user_id as param and from that on, I call other standard functions like usual, just leave out the user_id I am now explicitly sending with every call.
Ok this might work.

I prepare package, add user_id param to the calls.. great, time to test this code and my knowledge..

I made changes for api to incude the current user id (+ log it in the disk logs + audit_dbtable_1), test it, and check db..
Disk logs fine, debugging fine (user_id has proper value) but audit_dbtable_1 still userid = 0.

WTF?! I go check the code, where I forgot to include user id.. noup, it's all there. OK, I go check the logging, maybe I fucked up some parameters on db level. Nope, user is there in the friggin description ON THE SAME FUCKING TABLE!!
Just not in the column user_id...

WTF..Ok, cig break to let me think..

I come back and check the original auditing procedure on the db.. It is usually used/called with null as the user id. OK, I have replaced those with actual user ids I sent in the procedures/functions. Recheck every call!! TWICE!! Great.. no fuckups. Let's test it again!
OFC nothing changes, value in the db is still 0. WTF?! HOW!?

So I open the auditing pck, to look the insides of that bloody procedure.. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
Instead of logging the p_user_sth_sth that is sent to that procedure, it just inserts the variable declared in the main package..
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Did the 'new guy' made changes to this because he couldn't figure out what is wrong?! Nope, not him. I asked the CEO if he knows anything.. Noup.. I checked all customers dbs (different customers).. ALL HAD THIS HARDOCED IN!!! FORM THE FREAKING YEAR 2016!!! O.o

Unfuckin believable.. How did this ever work?!

Looks like at the begining, someone tried to implement this, but gave up mid implementation.. Decided it is enough to log current user id into BLABLA variable on some pck..
Which might have been ok 10+ years ago, but not today, not when you use connection pooling.. FFS!!

So yeah, I found easter eggs from years ago.. Almost went crazy when trying to figure out where I fucked this up. It was such a plan, simple, straight-forward solution to auditing..

If only the original procedure was working as it should.. bloddy hell!!

App crashes

"See logs for detail"

*reads logs"

"See logs for details"

*screams in pain*

For all the people who don't put any useful information in error logs.

Hmm.. Your console logs do not convince me of your competence, Southwest.

Today while looking at the logs, I found an issue.

The attached image describes this issue without going into too much detail about it, so like ... Enjoy I guess 🤷‍♂️ FML

So we have an API that my team is supposed send messages to in a fire and forget kind of style.

We are dependent on it. If it fails there is some annoying manual labor involved to clean that mess up. (If it even can be cleaned up, as sometimes it is also time-sensitive.)

Yet once in a while, that endpoint just crashes by letting the request vanish. No response, no error, nothing, it is just gone.

Digging through the log files of that API nothing pops up. Yet then I realize the size of the log files. About ~30GB on good old plain text log files.

It turns out that that API has taken the LOG EVERYTHING approach so much too heart that it logs to the point of its own death.

Is circular logging such a bleeding edge technology? It's not like there are external solutions for it like loggly or kibana. But oh, one might have to pay for them. Just dump it to the disk :/

This is again a combination of developers thinking "I don't need to care about space! It's cheap!" and managers thinking "100 GB should be enough for that server cluster. Let's restrict its HDD to 100GB, save some money!"

And then, here I stand trying to keep my sanity :/

The application has a system for sending reports and errors.
Client: "I have a problem with the app, I can not log in (android phone)"
I check the logs: "sent from iPhone"

(the person has no other account and registered telephone)

Setting Newyear's resolution to 4k..

failed: could not find X window system.
Please check the configuration logs.

A project I'm working on uses Elastic for internal monitoring and logs. The customer asked to access those logs - not something we'd normally do, but it's isolated from other things we use and there's no critical data there, so what the heck, let them have it.

Ever since, we're getting tons of questions like "There are tons of [insert random info message] all the time, do you have any plans to resolve them?" and it gets to the point where I'm just about ready to scream back "NO, SUZAN, BOOKING NOT COMPLETED MANS THE USER F###ING CANCELLED IT, IT'S NOT SOMETHING I CAN FIX IN THE CODE"

Edit: the customer's name isn't actually Suzan

Friend: why do I get this error help

[I check the logs]

Me: uh,its a OOM, did you allocate enough memory for GC?

Friend: wait hold on

[changes a method]

[works]

Friend: I shouldn't use this experimental method

Me: Cool man blog it

Jesus christ what is wrong with this one

12: Colleague deploys something to production (with a second pair of eyes)
14: Asks me why other team isn't seeing the result, I ask whether they have monitored the logs, they have not
17: They finally read the logs and find the problem, change window has ended so tomorrow there's another attempt

Today, they deployed again around 10 and then went away because they had some private responsibilities. Never looked at the logs, never bothered to verify if anything still worked. Just dropped it in a chat.

10 years older than I am, how can you be so irresponsible

Debugging Plex server: streaming a child movie on my phone and tailing the server logs on my flat TV

This morning I was looking in our database in order to solve a problem with a user registration and I accidentally noticed some users registered with unusual email addresses (temporary mail services, Russian providers and so on...).
I immediately thought about malicious users so I dug into the logs and I found that the registration requests started from an IP address belonging to our company (we have static IP addresses). My first reaction was: «OMG! Russian hackers infiltrated into our systems and started registering new users!»
So, I found the coworker owning the laptop from which the requests were sent and I went to him in order to warn him that someone violated his computer.
And he said: «Ah! Those 7 users? Yeah, I was doing some tests, I registered them. My email address was already registered so I created some new ones».
Really, man? Really? WTF

ALWAYS read warnings guys.
Story time !
A client of ours has a synchronization app (we wrote it) between his inhouse DB and our app. (No, no APIs on their end. It’s a schelduled task).
Because we didn’t want to ask them for logs every single time, the app writes logs to disk (normal) and in Applications Insights in Azure.
When needed, I can go in portal, get all logs for last execution in a nice CSV file.
Well, recently we added more logs (Some problems were impossible to track).
So client calls us : “problem with XXX”
Me : Goes to Azure, does the same manipulation as always. Dismiss a smaaaaaalish warning without reading. Study logs. Conclusion: “The XXX is not even in the logs, check your DB”.
Little I knew, the warning was telling me “Results are truncated at 10.000 lines”.
So client was right, I was wrong and I needed to develop a small app to get logs with more than 10.000 lines. (It’s per execution. Every 3 hours)

I REALLY HATE IIS. IT IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING PLATFORM. FUCK. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY FUCKING ERROR LOGS YOU STUPID PIECE OF FUCKING CRAP. FUCKING KILL ME YOU STUPID SERVER ASS BITCH CUNT

Ok so I put what in the logs ?

-not commenting
-leaving console logs behind in production
-not testing if it works in IE
-using root too much
-using if instead of switch
-never staying consistent with naming conventions
-starting projects and never finishing

Okay, so today I've taught a colleague how to use a simple office ruler to measure AWS server's CPU usage :) We needed to figure out whether CPU% spikes correlate with error message in logs an d latency spikes. Once again a ruler was the perfect tool for the job.

P.S. no, CPU% spikes did not correlate to errors in logs

I just installed nginx on a new server, just to find out we have visitors waiting patiently at the door. I guess they must have tried all possible route to get inside an empty room. 😏

See logs hits on 404 files...

So I have a script that runs every time I turn on my PC. The script copies a few files to a ftp server in my basement. Forgot to turn off logging....

Opend the file in Notepad, and would you look at that, 1 GB of ram..? WTF?

Edit: Managed to open the file, turns out that it's been exactly one year since I started using the script.

My team: "Hey were getting errors with this process, whats going on?"

Net team: "Hey were getting errors with this process, whats going on?"

Me *looks at logs once*: "Did you guys check the logs? There's a 500 error on the Net side app since 3am this morning..."

Net team: "Oh yeah we changed that but we forgot it would break your shit"

Goddammit why am i not on the alertlist if you are all going to call me when shit breaks?! Doesnt make any sense!!

A cache - related bug that gets triggered only at high loads, 10k parallel sessions or so.

Parsing 30GB of logs, trying to find something to work with....

yippee......

The display in public communication bus, a pretty detailed timetable

This just happened....

Tester: My cluster is not working properly!!!
Me: What's wrong?
Tester: I don't know. I've checked all the logs available on the entire cluster. All i know is that node 1 and 7 is broken.
*ssh into the cluster*
node1
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*no errors here everything is working properly*
node7
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*goes down to the bottom and scrolls up a few lines*
<insert massive error here>

Checked all the logs eh?

Goodbye, a night of work!

I just typed "rm * .sh.*" instead of "rm *.sh.*" for deleting the logs from a bunch of qsubs. Yes, I removed the logs... as well as the rest of the files in the folder.

Now, probably because of the lack of sleep, I'm laughing to keep myself from crying.

No more code for today!

That feeling when you're finally able to reproduce a bug...
Now it's time to dig through the logs to see what actually happened.

All these certifications and capabilities and years of IT experience and I find myself writing analytics against Minecraft logs for my kids's MC server to determine that my son really is being a jerk in game like my daughters claim.

App fails, Check logs...No error logged. Check source code and debug....
And then you see following piece of code....

try{
//Code to hit an API
}catch(Exception ex){
/*DO NOTHING. Not even log stack trace*/
}

Finally!
Got my Minecraft server running inside Docker to properly stream logs through Go to this shitty web interface. Fucking hell I didn't think this would be so fucking complicated!

Edit: Forgot the image :)

There's nothing like the fresh smell of emails on Monday morning, soooooooo fucking many random emails, actually, 2,708 fucking emails, 99.9999999% are stupid useless logs or alerts that have no meaning to me, and yet, I have to setup outlook rules to filter out this shit.

Ah, another glorious Monday 😤

I really hate search engines sometimes

So apple wants you to open your system logs with Photoshop, truly? So the fuck up and crashes looks more "beautiful"?

When AWS logs won’t check themselves

58 of 64 tests failed

Me: "what the actual fuck."
*spends 10 mins looking through logs wondering why these valid tests were marked as failed*
Me: "Oh shit I just configured the test case wrong"

Best feeling is when I prove to the client with screenshots, logs, and other materials that it was their damn fault not ours...
Speaking of screenshots... what is your fav screenshot tool? I use Greenshot.

We found a binary string on our Loggly server. It's a PDF file .. the entire PDF file, being sent, to our logging service.

Well looks like my gcc compile check log pretty much matches with the LFS logs so I must be doing something right xD yay progress!

lately my IT mantra in the vein of "have you tried turning it off and back on again" has become "did you check the logs for error output"😡

NOTE to all developers of any level: if you want help do your due diligence! Check the logs, try to step debug and at the very least please at least pretend to perform a cursory search

The WiFi at my office requires username and password to sign-in and logs out after every few hours. Then I have to tap on "sign in" and submit the username and password again.

Is there any fucking way I could automate this.......?

Not a question per se but an assignment -

Design an application that could find logs between two timestamps where the logs are stored in 10000 files, each with a file size of ~16GB.

For an entry level position this was a really good and interesting problem to solve.

One day I want to replace all "ERROR" logs with "FUCK":

09-31-26: FUCK: Database not initialized.
09-31-26: FUCK: Unable to parse input.

My doctor's office logs into their computers using the Administrator user. 🤔Pretty sure that's how patient info gets leaked.

Must say, it's lookin' pretty neat 😉

So there's that project with my coworker. We splitt up the classes, 10 to be implemented by him, 10 by me.

Fast Forward to 4 weeks before deploy.
Coworker: Your stuff logs a lot of stuff. It's not very clear and a liiittle to verbouse. 5 entries per second? Too much!
Me: Okay, you're right. Let me fix that.

2 Days later I look at his logs at runtime. He logs EVRY SQL statement and their results! In a batch that processes a 10'000 of customers!
He points out: That's useful stuff and it's not that much. It's needed for debuging.

My face: 😦

*The things you find watching logs*
From an innocent script I wrote to crawl Alexa categories for datascience team.

These two liters of water one should drink per day sound like a lot.
However, four pints go down faster than a hookers panties after she's been paid...

apparently my bank's password length limit of 10,000 is too much for paypal's app to handle and it fucking imploded. sadly, no screenshots were allowed by the app, but it fucking broke so hard it spat logs and shit at me with no formatting or anything. it was NUTS dude

I've written a script that logs my time tracker information into my timesheet at work and its fucking fantastic, so simple yet so satisfying. I needed to tell someone

My kind of Makefile:
make it.run: docker-compose up
make it.stop: docker-compose down
make it.clear: docker logs cont_1
make it.test: npm run test
make it.deploy: ansible-playbook site.yml

I've just checked my server's auth logs and my god that's a lot of failed ssh login attempts.

I think I'll install an ssh honeypot to waste these peoples time...

Watching the logs go by whilst waiting for my CRON script be like...

Random code review:

contractor changes 2 lines in the .gitignore and 1 line in the composer.json and logs 4.5h against the related ticket .. hmmm

Google, I can understand why you would want to translate the change logs to my language, but THIS IS NOT MY LANGUAGE! I am very curious what language it is though.

When you realize that you have only couple of gigs left on your SSD and the culprit is 41 GB log file.

> Am writing code
> Life is good
> Add debugger keyword
> Script pauses
> Type in var name... Undefined.
> ...What?
> Check out local scope. It's there. What the fuck?
> Add console.log(myVariable)
> Refresh
> Logs variable no problem. Cool.
> Type in my var name
> Undefined

FFFUUUUUUU-

My app crashed in production and there's nothing in in the error logs..

Yay..

Still having problems with samba doing weird shit. Now looking through the logs and

Hm... *that* doesn't seem right 🤔

After a week of logs investigation, we finally found a solution for performance issue. Just scaled up the app vertically to the next tier plan in Azure.

Bug requires 2 developers, full-time for 4 days to trace, debug, scratch heads, analyse logs. Third developer helping occasionally. Finally identify fix. Fix is 2 lines. D'oh.

i transferred shitload of code from one class to another, stackoverflowed something and copy pasted it because i have never seen that this needs to be written like that, hit run compile, open up my logs expecting a mass crash and possibly explosion. it worked on the first try

PC crashed while in the middle of a build, "ok, shit happens". Reboot, pc is super sluggy (a BSOD kinda does that, I guess). Reboot again and I check the event logs...I didn't find the problem, but at least my pc is sorry for whatever it was doing earlier.

No really. Logs have the answer, or at least point you to one.

When it's break time,

tail -f all logs,

sit back,

stare at the screen 😨

How does a Sysadmin keep a fire going?

They rotate the logs. 🔥

Here’s how my Friday night is going:

def signin
if should_not_sign_user_in?(stuff)
return redirect_to :nope
end
# signin logic
end

The guard says I shouldn’t sign the user in. It logs the details of why. I read the logs; they’re all correct. It logs the return value, which is false, and the user gets signed in anyway.

Wat.

There’s a return and a redirect there!

This is only happening on the QA server, too, so something fishy is going on.

Tfw you find out that you have 1.3 TB of PHP error logs. I wonder where all of my storage went 🤔

please, read your error logs people

Anyone got any cool arduino/pi projects they want to share? I'm currently iteratively building a self-hydrating cactus that measures the soil moisture content and sunlight and logs it to my server, just because i can, then waters the cactus for me if it needs it.

shout out to those who leave easter eggs in the console logs

“I do trust you, just let me see the logs”
- our colleague after we present to her good feedback from the demo just passed ok

my busineas user asked me today.

How and why do you read log file
Does it even help..?

Not sure if One of the most famous troll applications is trolling or what.

Using Ubuntu from years, never knew this logs file named 'syslog.1' could start filling about 80% of my root space 🤦.

I have an Android development midterm on Sunday ON PAPER!

Anyome knows how to do alt+enter on paper? Or the logs?

lol nvidia-bug-report.sh

it collected an xorg log that is not the current one.

For some reason, my arch openbox logs to $HOME/.local/share/xorg/Xorg.0.log.

What a goddamn trainwreck. I'm not necessarily saying it's nvidia's fault. But it is a trainwreck.

Young 22 years old me, hungry for excitement of real world issues, full of whimsical witticisms, writing bootstrap scripts that'd spit meaningful information like...

> $ run bankhack
> Shutting down the old world...
> Checking world population...
> Initializing particle accelerator...
> Exploding sun...
> Entering hell...
> Starting daemons...
> Starting lesser daemons...
> Burning logic...
> Restoring balance in the universe...
> World peace achieved.

What a naive douche he was.

My boss keeps looking into the system log file and being scared of some totally irrelevant messages (for him). Time to introduce permissions in the control panel...

First github and now twitter as well.

Bunyan

Bunyan is a simple and fast JSON logging library for node.js services

Server logs should be structured. JSON's a good format. Let's do that. A log record is one line of JSON.stringify'd output. Let's also specify some common names for the requisite and common fields for a log record.

Package Installer on android needs to show something other than just the progress bar. Even a basic log like windows installers that say, "copying this, extracting this, done..." If it affects the minimalism of the interface, they could try doing what Tor browser does- swipe to see a log. It just feels heartbreaking to wait 5 long minutes for it to process on this tortoise device, and then get, "app not installed." with an OK button. :( Like, whyyyy? There should be a "THAT'S NOT OK" button.

Is there any magisk module for this? Or some other tweak?

manager: fix and prevent this bug that we can't reproduce and we don't have any logs for

Read logs
Turn on the debugger
Stop bothering me

When starting projects, following semver.org quickly gets out of hand. Nothing is "backwards-compatible"

0.0.0 gitignore
0.1.0 prints arguments
1.0.0 prints text of web requests
2.0.0 prints parsed web requests
3.0.0 prints filtered requests
4.0.0 prints using yaml
5.0.0 logs to file
5.0.1 catch error
5.1.0 interactive

If a bug does not manifest itself in any logs or stats, is there a bug? Sadly, yes.

I love nginx' docker container, but it always takes me 2 minutest to remember that an idle nginx container does NOT output any logs

So here's my dumbass staring at the log output, thinking something's wrong

Worst week ever.

Servers are on fire. Respoinse times out of control

Some SIMPLE SQL queries (literaly select * from whatever where Id = id) timouts at 30 seconds.

No idea what's goining on (And I have full logs of all api calls and all DB queries). No way to find how to corelate this data.

Ok, I added 1000$/month on Azure and the problem is "masked", but not resolved.

I have dumps, I have logs I have everything, why the fuck I can't find the 1 or 2 APIs causing that ?!!!

Now I feel better.

Manager X: (logs a support ticket) "Agent is unable to access system using the password provided."

Me: "You're going to have to narrow it down a little, we have over 1000 active agents."

I hate the support side of my job...

People need to stop trying to be funny when writing change logs. Just stick to the facts.

THREE DAYS of debugging, reading all the logs I could find, creating tens of new logs in our appliaction, and SUDDENLY an email from your IT admin:

"Hey your CURL requests are being rejected by my !oh so secure! firewall rule".

Not that I haven't said at the beggining, that THIS IS YOUR F...G NETWORK PROBLEM because we get "connection reset by peer" errors, and you ASSURED that everything is CHECKED and OK!

Sometimes, when I’m stressed, I do this thing that I really enjoy looking at: installing updates.
Homebrew, pip, npm (global & local), apt, even manual updates in apps. This in several machines.

I like having the logs flow smoothly. It’s soothing.

Struggling to debug a test which prints out like 400-500 lines of logs in console and I can't find any of those to be useful.

Me while debugging with DevRant ..

Is this the end of my life!!!!
Even without a wife..
I should start collecting some bucks,
And buy some ducks,
The devDucks,
To accompany me through the mist of the unknown console logs,
Playing treasure hunt,
Performing stunt,
And find out the hidden treasure behind this mist

when a single python indent error crashes your entire web app, and the error logs don't pick up the issue -.-

Someone please explain to me how error messages such as
"Something went wrong" or "Critical error" are valid and provide little to no follow up explanation in the GUI, Logs, or client logs.

I get that not all error cases can be displayed on a GUI, but at least have decent error handling. Especially if your $8+ billion company.

Found this gold on our test server today

Edit: Forgot to attach the image itself 😂

Had a customer today that claimed that crontab did not work as it should, and he has proof of that (in form of some very abstract logs).

Well, I guess noone can rely on one of the most fundamental binary in the unix world.

You know what's hard...

Fixing a bug which occurred in production without having any logs because you log that useful info at debug level. 😧

Now take pen and paper, do calculation on your own and speculate what would have happened in production.

That frustration when it takes long time to build, yet you forgot to add logs

I don't fucking understand why certbot never seems to renew my domains. I try everytime I get one of them anoyying emails but still fail.

Currently trying while watching the webroot and apache logs. Nothing fucking happens. Someone experience with these problems?

When offshore overwrites your (100% to spec) content and then logs a critical defect because the incorrect content is showing...

Server behaved weird and I couldn't find out why. Nothing on the logs.

As a personal side project, I've translated the whole project to Scala. Boom! FileNotFoundException. There was an incorrect path somewhere.

I still don't know why Java did not throw.

Maintained a Jenkins instance once. Shut down a slave, and forgot to tell the master.
45gb of logs later...

A guy using our tool that automate rest api calls requests a feature to add the request body in the logs.
He was using “get” calls with no request body as a proof of missing feature.

Chrome with Dev Tools, IDE, Database, Server logs, terminal - what windows do you guys keep open at all times?

So I was digging our chat logs in 2017

That time we were coming up of alliterative code name (Ubuntu-like)...

... it didn't end well...

Stop pushing your shitty console logs to repository

The creator of this library logs error which makes me feel like a Shaolin Monk reading a scroll...

I shall now head towards that direction. Thank you master Shiva 🙏

The more I surrond stuff in try{...} statements, and handle with geeky error messages that should actually never happen (e.g. "TransactionId 73545 not find for UserId 10. Look for Interaction 212345 at the logs."), the more I think our Customer Support area will someday need a Customer Support Support area.

Work office, using xencenter for viewing xenserver server, tailing some logs and manjaro (arch linux) for bash stuff, and a coffee for good habits hahaha

Isn't it fanbloodytastic when you switch dev teams and your former team mates start blaming you for broken builds?

Fortunately I had logs to cover my arse. F*** blameworthy company cultures.

One of our integration solutions (via Webservices) had some issues. I had to switch on http logging to see what might be the issue.

On average, those logs are around 20MB when there is a bunch of traffic. But the solution brought a heap pf traffic through, those logs shot up to 1GB in size.

Had to delete the logs, since they took a million years to open, and told our vendors that the logs are not showing us anything 😅 I told no lies

To fix a bug I added a few log messages to trace what gets executed and in what order (very new to the project). Fixed the bug, pushed PR and the only comment was to remove the log files. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Please tell me this is normal or should I start looking for a new place that hires "only the best" 😭

QA guy: Your app crashed on this Samsung.
Me: Checks Firebse logs and finds out that phone was rooted and tells QA guy.
QA guy: You must consider all use cases.

Fuck you dude!

FML, somebody here or somewhere wrote that al customers lie..

Just been a witnes to that.. Over skype (mind I reminded them to write to jira on several occasions so others can help if I am out of office) feature xy is not working.. I log in to server, I see no logs of person a doing anything with our system, let alone use the xy feature... Well duh, of course it doesn't work, it's not a freakin mind reader.. :/

Next time no help, no log checking, no nothing until they provide ss of what exactly they were doing.. :/ Fuuuuu....

How dangerous am I?
I code it live.

I code while people are working on our website and make all the changes live. And if I notice an abrupt stop in responses to our logs I git stash my changes.

Logs in to client office 365.

Big recommendation at the top

"Disable password auto expiry, it's currently set to 90 days"

Why is this a recommendation? I suppose there's an argument that making a user change every now and again will weaken their passwords over time, but really?

Not a rant.

But, who loves to run gource on your project's directory and gets excited staring at the awesome animation created based on the git logs.

+1 If the whole team stares at it and yell "Look, thats me adding the .... component"

I hate log files.

Parsing logs to create conditional insert statements cause expert morons fucked up production database cluster.

Database is partially corrupted and cannot be used and they don’t know how to fix it.

FML when the code that runs every 10 minutes to check and bill a customer keeps charging him and the logs are terrible plus you have no idea what the issue was so you have to push production code to test and fix.