This one time, a client wanted a complete overhaul of her website.

I asked her for the credentials to the VPS, She gave me some random crap to try, cause clearly the site hadn't been touched since 2003 (and boy was it fugly).

Me: Maam, these aren't the correct details.

She sends in more crap to try...2 days pass with this back and forth.

Client: "contact steve, he should have the login details"

Me: ****Calls Steve *****
Me: "Maam, he says the login details are in your mail"

Client: "well, I don't remember this fact. Steve handled everything.
Hack into the website and then reset it.

The Russians did not need login details to hack into America's system. So please, do what you have to do to get us moving."

No jokes...that was the exact crap that came out of her fingers

Today we had a yearly company photoshoot... Fucking hate it..
Anyhow, the guy walked around office to take pictures of us in 'action'. However as a precaution he couldn't take pictures of the source code... So I was like:

A dude with a THICK Russian accent just called me offering server security services.

After I politely declined, he insisted on a free audit of my servers. I declined that as well.

Now I’m backing up our DB’s and going through my nginx logs.

Am I being racist?

The perfect example of misinformation appeared on a Dutch news site today.

It said that thousands of sites had the 'secure' *mark* due to running https but weren't actually secure because they were malicious.

Those cunts are mixing up the thing called a connection with fucking content/what happens on a site.

And those Russians are spreading fake information, right? You didn't even have examples of that and now you're doing it yourself.

Been trying to debug a problem this whole morning.. Gave up, went outside for a smoke.. Came back and bug is no where to be found...

My son loves...loves Star Wars, so when Star Wars Battlefront (on the PC) went on sale, he jumped on it.

To my shock (I'm not a big gamer), the game is filled with hackers/cheaters that are able to give themselves 'god' mode, so they can kill in one shot and take no damage.
My son (and others in the game) keeps 'reporting' them, but it looks like an issue EA is ignoring.
My son keeps asking me "You're a programmer, can't you fix the game so they can't do that?"

Good lord...I could care less about russians "hacking" our election (moronic press, doesn't even know what that means), but hacking my son's favorite game!...hmm..wonder how long it would take me to drive to EA headquarters and find that SOB dev manager in charge?
I get it, cheaters are gonna cheat, but fix your friggin' code! Aren't you embarrassed!?

Don't give me any of that "we don't know how they are doing it..." nonsense. This is devrant, not <insert media outlet you hate>.

How do Russians name it when there's no internet?
.
Interнет

Never thought I will be hired by Chinese software/hardware company located in NYC to code in languages I don't know so well. Instead of lying and saying I know everything about C, PHP and SQL, I said that I suck pretty much at everything, but I'm a quick learner and will study day and night to catch up with their practices. Now I see they have no regret about me, but I still suspect them in hiring me because there is another guy who is Russian too and we all communicate well. Our current squad is 17 Chinese, 2 Russians, 1 Americans. Guess what, I learn Mandarin quicker than PHP. Sometimes a small lie is OK, but sometimes honesty is better.

Apple hater like me can't believe I got this message... What the fuck

Fucking airstrike alert this morning in my federal state.
Yote me out of bed yelling "The russians are coming!"
Turns out it was planned but what the fuck, the closest siren is like 100 metres from my window.

People that report 'bugs'

me : Why are fire trucks red?

Bot : Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always "russian" around.(according to the Monty Pythonesque application of the principles of logic and etymology)

😳😳😳

Today at work I saw 2 tech guys (Russians) that tried to fix an audio system at my hospital clinic.

The PL-3.5 cable was unable to transfer any sound to the speakers from the secretary PC.

So they tried to plug it into one of their phones, to rule out the possibility that it is because of the PC headphones plug.

(The speaker volume currently is on *maximum* btw)

1st guy said "Let's play something nice and relaxing, so the patients (mostly old people) won't get an heart attack"
The 2nd ask "So what should I search in YouTube?"
Then the 1st said "Metallica"

FML, the day I dreaded has come!
We got a client that is from our country.. meaning they speak what I speak, but I do not type what they read..
I hate writing emails in my native language and with proper grammar.. I haven't done that since I finished with high school and they're full of typos.. Even after spellcheck and grammar check and everything it's faaaaar worse than my English.. fuzck!

Have to turn two important projects in 1.5 hours. Had the time since yesterday.... Do other people procrast like this?

Nothing beats watching Chinese IP’s just beating on your server constantly. Those crafty Chinese...Now where are the Russians?🍿

When you've got shit to complete and decide to work hard but your computer thinks Nope and starts trolling you

Instead of “ching-chong”, russians use a different pejorative: Sung Hui V Chai Vyn Sam Pei. In russian, this translates to “put your dick in your tea, pull it out and drink it”.

!dev

Do any Russians believe Putin?

WhatsApp just got hacked by the Russians - or it may have well have been considering the uproar - it's a messaging app - who really cares

When the framework you're using decides to work in UTC after 5 years of using default system timezone. And instead of giving you the option to change timezone, hardcore enforces it by:

os.environ['TZ'] = 'UTC'
time.tzset()

For people who don't know python.. It basically tells your code that your system time is set to UTC (ingnoring the right timezone)

Now we get one bug after another because of this undocumented shitty change without changes in how time fields behave in different client timezones.
😒🔫

(Don't get me wrong, using UTC is logical however not in an existening application and forcing devs to rewrite all code that handles time fields)

Over the last few years, i explored the DMZ between dev's world and customer's world. It is a DMZ where both are in contact, ones trying to convince the others to invest on them, and i was just shocked !
People are so stupid and Elitist, they think that an ultimate great godly dev exist !
It is totally fake for sure, they image that a good have to know absolutely everything about all the damn languages (while everyone googles every single comment received, even the most "advanced" dev)
I am shocked to see how people apply their everyday life metrics to the dev's world, i mean, there are a lot of devs around, everyone coding his way to self-improvement, we are all different, we have trends, and we can definitly define groups of developers and types of developers, but people think that a good dev have to come from silicon valley ! Does it means that a dev coming from Vladivostok is less worth ? even he is more dynamic in his approach ? even if he yields more results in terms of solutions ? (SV devs tends to be too much technical, while russians tends to be in the heart of action directly).
Common people shouldn't mess with what they know nothing about, and stay at their "Consumer" position.

Factorio thoughts....

Yesterday was "but you are Russian" day. It was somehow decided by people in my office, that Russians are the fixers. Basically its the regular flow: Fix the wifi, install me a Windows, Fix VM image, fix my sd card coz its fucked up, I have issues with my hotspot, air conditioner is not cooling enough. But whats weird... Those people are fucking developers themselves!! Wtf?! I got a call from US team (I'm in Israel) and they wanted me to fix their laptop over the phone!!!!!! FUCK!!😕

Last night the Russians stroke again. It's become obvious that these Ddos attacks are not performed by just some casual hackers, but are part of cyber warfare - just as I suspected in one of my rants a couple of weeks ago

!rant
S novym godom to all russians!

Worked with two different customers
(customer 1 is up to date because of active development and customer 2 got his update long ago)
Changed something for customer 1 and accidently pulled customer 2. 49 changesets (needs a db update probably). Rolledback and now keeping an eye on the error logs

I met a strange man who claimed to be a time traveller from the future, researching the collapse of human civilisation.
He asked me where it all went wrong.
I said, the Americans thought they could sell Sesame Street to the Russians.
He said, I know what Sesame Street is, but what are Americans and Russians?
I explained as well as I could, and he nodded sadly, and went on his way, apparently satisfied with the explanation.