This one time, a client wanted a complete overhaul of her website.

I asked her for the credentials to the VPS, She gave me some random crap to try, cause clearly the site hadn't been touched since 2003 (and boy was it fugly).

Me: Maam, these aren't the correct details.

She sends in more crap to try...2 days pass with this back and forth.

Client: "contact steve, he should have the login details"

Me: ****Calls Steve *****
Me: "Maam, he says the login details are in your mail"

Client: "well, I don't remember this fact. Steve handled everything.
Hack into the website and then reset it.

The Russians did not need login details to hack into America's system. So please, do what you have to do to get us moving."

No jokes...that was the exact crap that came out of her fingers

  • 42
    "America's system." You know, the computer running America. 😑
  • 14
    I hope this kind of client has their butthole bleed
  • 9
    @devTea Probably done already, but not for this reason. *Shrugs*
  • 11
    Haven't you tried recovering the password by form that's provided by the hosting company? Or contacting the hosting company directly? They solve such issues on daily basis.
  • 4
    @CoffeeNcode Haha, thanks...just discovered this witty platform. Sure will pour out all my frustrations here.
  • 6
    I told her this, she doesn't even know the exact email.
  • 4
    most probably
  • 4
    @kratos tell her to check the invoices and then contact the hosting provider directly.
  • 8
    Send her a referral link for Square Space
  • 5
    Can't really work with these folks, especially when they already bought domain hosting after getting advice from a friend who only ever wrote Microsoft Excel Macros
  • 3
    I had a lot of clients say just hack into it if they didn't have the logins....
  • 3

    I bet you were close to pressing their necks every single time
  • 3
    @kratos I usually laughed it off, like yeahh.. but It will take much more time than it would take it yo find the logins or contact support of your server to renew the logins.. Always shrugged it off, but never directly told them no :D
  • 3
    Exactly the same thing I said.

    why waste resourceful time doing something that stupid. especially when you have other jobs stacked up waiting for you to finish up.
  • 3
    @kratos what if I tell you a friend of mine has a website that NEEDs to be updated, and I want to do it, I want so bad to do it, FOR FREE, for friendship sake, and can't exactly because of that?

    They simply don't know their passwords and simply never calls their registrar to recover it. So frustrating.
  • 3
    No kidding!!

    I don't understand how these simple things seem like quantum physics to them.
  • 3
    Wait, is Steve a woman? 🤔
    Oh, nevermind..
  • 9
    She sounds like an NPC.
  • 2
    Haha, no. Apparently Steve was the last guy that went close to the VPS.
  • 3
    For reals
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