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Management : "How long you think it would take?"
Me : "now this is a rough estimate, but I think building the back-end and database alone could take 6-months minimum"
Management : "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS"
me : "its a big proj..."
Management : "I thought it will be something like 10 days, already told the client it can be done"
me : "but we are not ready"
Management : "how are we not ready? we already have the virtual 3D shop, and we can use this ready-to-deploy eCommerce service as our data base "
... "you need to figure this out, this is not acceptable" he continued
* 2 Days Later -talking to my direct boss *
Boss : "since you don't know how to do it..."
me : "what ? I didn't say I can't do it, all I said it will take six months"
Boss : "yeah yeah, anyway there is this studio, a professional polish studio, we called them and they can do it, we will sign a contract with them, this will let you focus on the front-end. good?"
me : "well alright then"
Boss : "please write a doc, explaining everything needed from the backend"
-to me that was the end of it, took a long time to tell me they made the deal-
* 5 Months later *
- "Abdu, can you come here for a minute..."
- "yes boss?"
- "the document we asked you to do for the Polish studio, did you specify that we needed an integration with the API we are using for eCommerce?"
scared to death I answered : "why of course I did!"
I ran to my PC to check it out because I didn't know, I forgot because no one even comment on my doc. I check it out, and it was clearly explained... I got relaxed...
turns out they didn't even do what we asked them for. took them 5 months, and with no communication whatsoever. all their work was useless to us. complete dump waste.
----------------
never mentioned this until a year later... in a heat of moment when they were asking me to make an impossible task with no men and no time... I reminded them of this story... management didn't like it. but it was the truth. they didnt push this crazily this time13 -
Year 2013
- Trying this thing called Bitcoin
- Setup wallet in spare USB drive
- Buy 0.5 BTC (couldn’t afford more)
- Forgot about it
Year 2016
- Remembered I had bought BTC
- Looking like crazy for my USB drive
- Found it!
- Insert it into PC
- only one file in it
- essay_blah_blah_<sisters name>.doc
- poof, gone for ever14 -
SERIOUSLY: FUCK YOU PAYPAL...
🖕For your 500 Apis that seemingly do the same fucking thing
🖕For your fucking Webhooks that get dispatched every fucking century
🖕For needing a fucking degree in PayPal sciences to understand which fees apply and when
🖕For doc links that seemingly lead to nowhere
🖕For having to plow through 500 pages on your fucking retarded website to be able to execute or receive a fucking payment
🖕For your casual internal server errors
🖕For your fucking ancient sandbox account design and dysfunctional features therein
Making payments is not fucking rocket science you fucking cunts.
🖕FUCK YOU!🖕22 -
Client: Why do I need to pay for a website. You're just copy pasting images and text from a word doc.
Me: There is a lot more to it, like code...
Client interupted me before I could finish: Why am I paying you for code I can't see!
Same client told me to "just phone google" to put their site on the 1st search page.14 -
So, in my Country there are people actually selling 40 empty folders for about 3 dollars... As a gift they also send an empty .doc file... And people are buying it!!!
29 -
Me: So i've cloned the iOS project, i've run carthage, but it won't build.. Have I done something wrong?
Devs: Oh read this doc on github, we do loads of custom stuff. The depenedncy manager can't do it all by itself. You need to run `./scripts/boostrap.sh`
Me (another day): I've switched branches and i'm getting all these errors. Any ideas?
Devs: Ah this happens when someone modifies xyz. Read this pinned slack message. Run `./scripts/bootstrap.sh` again.
Me (another day): I've switched branches again, getting different errors, re-running boostrap didn't fix it.
Devs: Ah yeah, this happens when someone modifies abc. You need to run `./scripts/nuke.sh` and then boostrap when this happens.
Me (another day): Guys When I try to run the prod app its not building any ideas?
Devs: Ah yes have a look at this confluence link. You need to run `./scripts/setup_debug_release.sh`, then nuke, then boostrap and you'll be good.
Me: .... ok
Devs: Oh btw very important! do not commit any changes from `./scripts/setup_debug_release.sh`. It will break everything!
Me: ... no i'm sorry we have a much bigger problem than that. We need to talk ... like right now7 -
This is my message to that particular developer of Microsoft who made a change in the Win32 API but was too lazy to update the MSDN doc:
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. You wasted 3 days of mine and I had to find your fucking change by looking into the source code.6 -
I wonder if those people who give unwarranted useless advice to developers go to their doctors and do the same thing.
- Doc, just make a small slit, take out old heart, put in a new one, connect everything back as before and stitch it. Easy peasy. Shouldn't take more than a few minutes.
- my leg is fractured. Just open it and tape it back. It is a hack job, but it'll make the client happy for now. It will be quickly done.
- I think I have cancer. Just write a script to kill it. Shouldn't be too difficult.
Fuckers.4 -
1. Spend a week learning InDesign and create an awesome resume.
2. Upload and send the PDF resume around with applications.
3. Have ppl ask for a Word file...16 -
Product sending an email: Can I confirm feature A is all set for its release on April 30th?
Me: ... what? no that feature is going out with Feature B, that was pushed back to June because of the server issue.
Product: No, the release plan document says April 30th for this.
Me: ... theres 6 copies of this doc now. Someone is after deleting my comments saying "releasing with Feature B". Oh look heres a link to another doc that says this. See Feb14th "Will go out with Feature B". This is because they are touching the same code, we can't separate them now without re-writing it.
*Me to myself*: Ha product are going to hate this, their shitty processes have finally caught up with them.
*next day*
Other manager: So heres my plan for the app release x, y, z.
*Me to myself*: ... his plan? this is my app, I mange this. What the hell is this?
*reads email thread*
*Me to myself*: ... oh so product really didn't like my reply, took me off the thread, sent a response to all the other managers asking for alternatives, CC'ing upper management. The same upper management I had a private conversation with yesterday about how shit our product team are.
*cracks knuckles*
I'm going to enjoy writing this reply.12 -
I had to integrate an internal service. The doc said:
Lorem impsum...
fuck me I had to reverse engineer it.5 -
My bio professor has a word doc called passwords that she keeps on an unencrypted external hard drive.
She leaves the hard drive in the room with all of her other stuff when she goes for a break between classes.16 -
First rant here. Long, but please bear with me:
So after slogging my ass off in various early stage startups for over 4 years and keeping up with the almost non-existent development process, I joined an organisation which has some of the brightest and smartest minds I have had the pleasure to work with.
Mind you, this company is the market leader in it's field and has a 50+ people in it's tech team and the quality of work is pretty impressive.
Now for this week's sprint, I was asked to develop a feature which already exists on the Android app and they want to introduce in the iOS app too. The backend APIs are all in place and all I need to do is build it with virtually no dependency. My PM asks me to start with the UI and ask the backend dev for the API list whenever I need them.This is where the story turns.
For my first API, I go to the backend dev and ask him to share the API documentation and he looks at me as if I have asked him to dance the fucking cha cha. With a straight face he tells me that, 'The organisation doesn't maintain any kind of documentation for it's APIs.' Now this really shocks me. Even in a 5 men tech teams I have worked on, we have always maintained a spec doc for the APIs and this is a company which is known for it's tech practices.
Being the new guy I compose myself and ask if they have anything for me here: Postman collection, a workflowy doc, a goddamn txt file; anything which might help me, and he laughs at my dilusion and says no.
Dejected, I ask for a way to get the APIs and I am told that there are only two ways: either I keep bothering the Android dev for the APIs(No, I don't have the access to the android repo and nor am I gonna get it) which he had worked on 4 months back or I install the prod app on my phone, and use Charles to get every fucking API which is really, really annoying.
I thought writing out this rant would make me feel better, turns out it just made me angrier. Why the fuck can't they document such an important thing!?13 -
open telegram
'hey guys i have a cool idea for a project'
"yeah thats a neat idea lets do it"
we get drunk on the first meeting and completely forget about the project5 -
People sending text documents in .doc format... what is fucking wrong with you?! Word has even had a build in .pdf converter for decades!?15
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I started coding in 1994 making .BAT menus for my DOS games. Used HELP.EXE to find commands I could use. Then I figured out how to modify and run GORILLA.BAS (using Q-Basic). Man, when I realized that all BASIC commands were in the OS documentation as well, that was the Red Pill! Just started to copy commands and blocks from the Gorillas game into a new program, read the doc, modify, run and learn. Btw, the first BASIC command I played with was "PLAY" (for music).
At that time I was 10 and there was no Stackoverflow, no Youtube, no tutorials, no Google... no easy path to follow down the rabbit hole.
Ref: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
10 -
A recruiter asks for my LinkedIn credentials to save me from the hassle of updating my profile.
Is this the new 'send me your cv in .doc format so I can write whatever I want in there'?
I'm not even looking for a job and I don't know who you are! Fuck off!3 -
Just started my new position and discovered that company's tasks, bugs & versions are managed in single Google Doc 😐8
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Somebody asked me my API doc.
I don't have any API at all.
I will lie, and I'll write a swagger specification in few hours and I'll send them.
They will try to read it and understand, and after maybe a week, when they will ask for testing and endpoint I'll pretend to be on holiday for 2 weeks.
3-4 weeks gone already, I checked they should be on holiday by then. Only then, I'll answer with a fake endpoint with fake data.
I'll get another 2 weeks if I'm lucky.
When they discover about fake data, I'll say there is a bug.
In total if I play well, I have 2/2.5 months to implement some kind of API server with some more or less true implementation.
Thanks to Swagger. Swag11 -
My friend and boss，told me he would teach me code 2 years in a half ago.
I didnt know what css or html was and i used to call java javascript.
I can know create my own module with webpack， have my automated doc， use react， redux， he taught me linux， git，unit testing， databases，docker， and so on...
Im not an expert in any of it butbi know what they are for and can play with them more or less comfortably.
The best advice he ever gave me was:
“coding is not about coding. We are like the greath painters of history. They were great at painting but even more at creating. If you have no creativity， you can paint as well as you want， its worthless.”2 -
When you are working on a feature and someone else is working on the same thing and you commit at the same time and now you have to resolve conflicts but both versions work
2 -
One day at a doctor who started a small conversation:
Doc: What is your job?
Me: I am a software developer, I write computer programs basically.
Doc: Interesting. How does it work?
Me: Oversimplified you have special languages to tell the computer what to do and then this is converted into a program you can start on your PC. The languages are a bit like basic english (thought of Pascal at this moment).
Doc: So then it is a pretty simple job.
Me thinking: OMFG yes that's why I studied it 6 years, because it's soo easy.
Me thinking at home: Next time tell them that you are a computer scientist and that it is applied mathematics basically. Maybe then they will get a clue of the complexity. 🤔14 -
Heard about that developer thats was involved in a car accident and went to hospital for brain surgey?
Doc said he need to remove half of the brain but he will survive. His developer friends was happy with the news that he will survive but sad loosing a great developer.
The surgey went as expected and now he is one of the best Project managers in the business.4 -
Random dev online: Any chance you could help me figure out how to use something the company you worked for wrote? I need to do XYZ
Me: I didn't write it but sure. Theres a doc here about the full process of doing XYZ <link>
Random dev 5 seconds later: But how do I actually do it? The link doesn't show how to do it via code.
Me: You'll find if you actually read it, that it does. Because I checked. Good day2 -
It's 2018 and folks are still stuck "collaborating" on documents by sharing them back and forth over email.
MS Word Doc created in Office 2016 will not open in Office 365.
THIS IS WHY GOOGLE IS WINNING!10 -
I hate when a retard fuckstick user on FuckOverflow gives answer like this:
"I suggest a read of the documentation instead of only hacking around"
IF I'M ASKING A QUESTION IT'S BECAUSE THE fucking doc wasn't clear to me, it was longer than the dick of the horse that fucked your mother, or simply I didn't have the fucking time and I hoped somebody would help me out, you dumb fatherfucker17 -
Pet peeve:
Putting screen shots in Word documents, then attaching the doc to tickets.
Mucking forons.5 -
Microsoft MSDN is a great example of how fucked up a documentation can be.
Update the fucking doc! You're one of the biggest tech company in the world!3 -
There was maybe one of the coolest methods of apply for a job. There was a company in Sydney on linkedin on the apply href for the job was pointing to localhost (might of been a accident) so you had to find their website and with the trailing url get to the page then they said to send OPTIONS request to a endpoint here you got a link to a api doc to where you send a POST to apply for a job they had a example body to use. So sending the Post request with with postman required headers so looking more into the doc it gave the headers needed. Now the example body for the post had some errors in it and once they are fixed you can then submit the request.
NOW thats the way to find competent developers shame I'm not one of the.5 -
Client: So we want you to redesign the frontend for this app
Me: Ok, sounds easy enough, send me the source code and API documentation
Client: yeaaaaaah, here's the thing, we don't have the frontend source code anymore, we originally wrote it in React and then we lost the source code, we only have the bundles now
Me: ok fine, I can handle it, can I have the API doc?
Client: yeaaaaaah, here's the thing, we didn't write API docs, but we have the source code if you want
Me: fml7 -
The superhuman feeling of going back to your code after a week and it all makes perfect sense, the variable names are intuitive, the doc strings are comprehensive, and the general codebase structure is sensible.2
-
Since alot coworkers asked me:
(windows 10)
Press win+tab, klick the "add desktop" thing in the bottom right corner, add as much Desktops as u like. Now change them very smooth with strg+win and <- or ->.
Move windows with the win+tab thing to other desks
I tried multi Desktop for years on linux and with 3rd party tools on windows. It never worked well, was unsexy and bugged or programms could not handle it.
The win10 stuff is the firsr really cool working multi Desktop thing. I still even use it with 2 or 3 monitor setups. I hate to minimize and maximize programms. Usually i got a Desktop to code one for doc, one for Test runs and one for administrative stuff (Outlook, reddit, 9gag).
Try it, you will hate it when you then need to work without it =}15 -
"Server deployment is automated from git, so dont merge things into the master branch without permission"
Oh ok
>i create new branch
>push unfinished code because i gotta hurry
>server breaks
Well golly gee seems like you did a shit job at automating7 -
Accidentally Click on .doc file in File Manager
Microsoft word starts to open it
I press cancel.
Word- Attempting to cancel ....
And then opens it anyway.
Me - Wut?5 -
FRIENDLY REMINDER: Fucking save your goddamn work. Thanks.
- Your friendly neighborhood dumbass who just lost 14 hours of his life because his computer crashed.
P.S. Normally not a problem when working on code because I'm forced to save and commit with Git. Unfortunately I was balls deep in Adobe motherfucking illustrator working on wireframes, and didn't have doc recovery turned on.6 -
Them : "Here is an example of how to use my library, 45 lines of mandatory configuration omitted"
Me : "Here is a pot of boilling oil, could you take a small bath in it?"2 -
Finally I understand what it is like to use a language that does not have any extra resources like stackoverflow or tutorials.
Using ReasonML for my final year project and the only resource I have is the API doc ☹️9 -
Story of my life when I am really interested in a company:
Company: let's have a call to get to know each other.
Me: okay.
Company during the call: takes a technical interview
Company *a few days later*: now let's have a technical call!
Me: okay
Company during call: asks to design GOOGLE in GOOGLE DOC (??!!?!)
Company *a few days later*: now let's have a Development Test!
Me: okay
Company *sends an email* asking to complete a task which should take a week to develop in a few hours
Me: okay...
Company *a few weeks later*: Sends a generic email saying they got another person who is a better fit.
Me: ffs..16 -
As a Java developer I didn't write a line of code at work for about 2 months. Been so busy with meetings, doc, governance, architecture decisions, running after people for approvals,... I really miss coding.2
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Don't you just love it when you're waiting on a team member in a different country to push code that you NEED to be able to finish your job, but you know they've already gone home for the night and you're stuck reading the same three doc pages for your entire day at work? Because I sure do
-
noob misconception #527: during my first hackathon i didn't know what version control was (i thought github was this magical elite hacker tool), so id copy my code into a google doc every few minutes along with a timestamp 😫6
-
One of the things I really hate on Windows (and Microsoft software in general) is that the keyboard shortcuts are localized therefore are different from 90% of the apps that I use on a daily basis.
Two examples of this (EN-US vs PT-PT):
- "Save" is "Gravar" while "Underline" is "Sublinhar". This means that whenever I press Ctrl + S to save a doc in MS Word I underline a word instead of saving the bloody document.
- "All" is "Tudo" so when I want to select all the itens on a folder in the File Explorer I have to press Ctrl + T, the same shortcut I press in pretty much every single tabbed app to open a new tab.
This is terrible for the user experience because different languages provide different keyboard shortcuts to the user which goes against the concept of the usefulness of a keyboard shortcut: perform an action from anywhere without having to know its menu or menu description.11 -
I think my days as a dev are over
shit fuck!!!!
All i know is writing code, schematics, systems recommendations
Was given a tender doc for a project
the doc was in 2 parts "Technical" & "Financial"
I HAVE NEVER DONE A TENDER BEFORE and little did i know a shit load of documents are required
MY BOSS GOT FURIUS SINCE I DIDNT COMPILE ALL DOCS and 1 required doc was expired tried to get it renewed and renewal will take 3 week or 1 month and deadline was in 2 hours time
FUCK!!!!
F U C K M E ! ! ! ! !14 -
I had a client that used to send emails to detail requests or report bugs on a software.
Now, believe it or not, this was the regular way:
An email with just an introduction and a Word document attached, containing very verbose descriptions (usually not in a human known language) and most importantly, screenshots.
What's so weird about this? Those pictures were captured with printscreen, printed on paper, scanned and then inserted inside the doc 😭😭
Why all this? I don't know, otherwise I wouldn't have posted it as #wk32 ☺3 -
The recent post on being obsessive with "CTRL+S" reminded me...
Be careful if the file was shared with you via Dropbox.
I was doing this with an excel doc called "services by client" once and got this email...
----------------------------------------------
Subject: "services by client updated...." :-O
AAAAAHHHH OMG
Every time you hit save, I get a popup notification on my screen and its’ been going like once a second for an hour
Are you MANIC SAVING that excel sheet!??? Are you dealing from some past trauma of losing a document that you’ve worked really hard on!!!???
Lol … maybe copy the file outside of that folder a few minutes so I can continue my nap without this little “ding” going off :-P
----------------------------------------------
...all I had to say was WHO LEAVES DROPBOX POPUP NOTIFICATIONS ON anyway. Or mute your computer, lolz?1 -
My PM refuses to use GitHub to log issues and keeps sending me Google Doc slides because she wants to add pictures. You can do that GitHub too!4
-
Update on my old rant: I started writing type definitions for our project (it's basically a chunk of separate files where you document the objects you use; typed languages have this out of the box, js doesn't and it may become useful depending on the size of the project). Our codebase is reasonably big -not complicated, but big- and I felt like I was losing track of all the properties\objects\usage\comments\whatever. So I iiterally wrote some ts interfaces: properties with name and types, that's it, so you know what you're passing around.
Proposal was denied, I'll have to delete the documentation; "keeping the doc updated is going to require more work".
Me: Ok, but what am I supposed to do when I need to interface with your code? Run the debugger and figure out what the fuck you guys are passing around?
Team leader: Yes 😊
6 -
A guy who's parked next to me in the RV asked me today if I know anything about computers. Sure, what's it about?
He has forgotten his password for a Word .doc file, already installed all possible tools for password cracking, but none of them worked, and now
he can't find his vacation photos and surfing the internet suddenly doesn't work anymore.
Okay, no problem, I'll take a look at it. Windows 7 Home Edition, completely covered with malware, everywhere popups with pr0n ads.
I told him that I can't do much more than trying to recover the data and reinstall the OS. But before that, I'll make a image of the hard drive (thank god, only a 250 GB hdd). Then we'll see.
Unfortunately neither he nor I have a Windows DVD, so he will probably become a proud user of Antergos tomorrow.5 -
Recruiter is contacting me out of the blue for a vague job position. Tells me he is very interested in my skillsets as they are apparently difficult to find.
I don't hate my current job but it has some problems. My interest is piqued.
I ask for more details and tell him what minimum benefits I would expect, given I won't quit my job for less. I tell him I have a very tight schedule at work and at home right now but I could fit in some time for a 1-2h interview.
He tells me I'll get more details in the next interview and tells me there will be a little coding test. Ok sure...
Dude proceeds to send me a test description by email. It consists in designing an actual small python project. Would take at least 1 full day of work (tests, doc and functionality included). I have 3 days to complete it.
fuckThat.jpg
Is this guy for real? In this market?7 -
Online applications are so much worse than the classic snail mail ones, because some companies just don't seem to give a single fuck about the quality of their application application (hehe).
This results in such joyous things like:
• "Allowed file types: doc, docx, pdf, jpg, zip"
• "Max filesize 3mb"
• "One of your files does not meet the requirements" (doesn't tell you which)
• "Upload timed out, please try again"
• 403 forbidden
• "Your account does not have the necessary permissions to upload more than 4 files at once"
• clicking the submit button leads to a 404
• "Please explain why you want to work for us." 500 character limit
• Google forms2 -
Had an online programming interview for a start-up, writing code into a shared Google doc while on the phone with the interviewer.
Specifically told that I could just use pseudocode, so I did, without worrying about access modifiers, full variable declarations and use of "new" for making objects, or specific type declarations, etc.
Got told at the end that I "lack experience, and really should have defined access modifiers, declared types, and so on, and that they needed someone proficient in Java. That was the first time I knew about their Java requirement.5 -
We are the 31, it is 00:54, I have a full specification to deliver on the 1rst at 00:00, and there is only half of it done.
Wish me luck for my doc New Year Eve1 -
I recently built a staff portal. Sometimes when people ask what I did this summer I just say "I built a portal" without any additional info just to let them think I'm Doc Brown crazy.
-
Time to time I do some Hard- and Software repairs for neighbors and get some little money for it.
My neighbor let's call this one "Bob".
Bob has a new printer and a old one which is over 15 years old.
First: Holy shit 15 years old printer works still. WTF? Is this thing Hulk or what?
He ask me why he can't print a 128 site Doc with pictures in it from the old printer. It always stop at around 50 pages.
I tell him that it has only 32 MB Ram/Flash and can't print more. Before the Doc's were much smaller and could print that, but today you got files with more than 10 MB and on a printer it need's atleast 128 MB Ram to process and print it.
Guess what? One week later he asks me the same questions.
Why don't you print it on your new shiny expensive printer and why do you need still that OFFICE WAR VETERAN OF PRINTER to print it???
Seriously just use the new and better one!! Bob please give that old one a burial. He deservs it!5 -
- I am leaving the company, so you will work on my project.
- (looks at code) But there is no single doc string or any documentation apart from the installation guide.
- Yes, but the project is really easy to understand.
... I will just sit here trying to understand your code instead of doing actual work. -
Dear coworker,
when I asked: "So, how does it work?", I didn't expect the answer to be: "Well, you push this button, wait three seconds and when it's finished, this LED turns on."
I was hoping for a more in-depth description (like, the way you'd consider me to be seriously interested in your work or learning from you) along the lines of "Well, you see, I have written this CLI-Tool here, which connects to the adapter and parses the contents of the file via serial interface to the on-board controller. This controller performs an integrity check of the device and then decides whether to flash or not. The testing unit itself checks if its being programmed with the right parameters."
Of course I know how a programming device works but I was interested in your solution in this special case ... so I think I'll just check the doc later if there'll ever be some.4 -
So, my crush told me how she lost her 800+ bookmarks related to her very crucial project (She isn't into computers). I told her she could recover them and I'll help her with the steps. She was so paranoid about losing the rest of the project if something were to go wrong while recovering.
Bookmarks got recovered. She's happy.( I just took the bookmarks.bak file from the chrome folder and converted it to an html doc.)
4 days later-
Her: dude, what the fuck did you do. The whole system has been reset. The whole project is gone. Fucking know-it-all. She thinks I'm responsible for the system restore.
- - - - - -
She's going to HATE me for life 😭. What did i ever do to you, you Microsoft Developers 😔. Why you do this.29 -
Last time, working on a project with two mates at school.
I'm the one who knows how to read and understand correctly a doc for low-level c libraries (portaudio, opus) and working on sockets.
I make the barebone of our server. Co-workers should work on socket client.
After a week, the socket client is ugly, and almost unusable.
I rewrite the socket client in two days.
Co-worker, for a week : "the only contribution of Orionss is deleting my code" (it wasn't the first time)
In these moments, I would like to kill this guy1 -
I have come across the most frustrating error i have ever dealt with.
Im trying to parse an XML doc and I keep getting UnauthorizedAccessException when trying to load the doc. I have full permissions to the directory and file, its not read only, i cant see anything immediately wrong as to why i wouldnt be able to access the file.
I searched around for hours yesterday trying a bunch of different solutions that helped other people, none of them working for me.
I post my issue on StackOverflow yesterday with some details, hoping for some help or a "youre an idiot, Its because of this" type of comment but NO.
No answers.
This is the first time Ive really needed help with something, and the first time i havent gotten any response to a post.
Do i keep trying to fix this before the deadline on Sunday? Do i say fuck it and rewrite the xml in C# to meet my needs? Is there another option that i dont even know about yet?
I need a dev duck of some sort :/39 -
Kiss for fucks sake! What the fuck of an ORM is Sequelize? How the fuck do I have to write a 50 line query json to get a query for a single object going, which doesn't work then because that shit peace of software has a bug that breaks findOne and forces you to use findAll and use the first and only hit?!
Well yes, I looked in your garbage SEO docs for that issue, but whenever I look for something specific I just end up on your optimized as hell querying for noobs doc page. FUCK YOU!
Seriously, you guys working with Sequelize saved me many hours. But fuck your fuckups! And ajfjekidjjskrhbdkaowbdjdkwobdnfie4 -
Microsoft documentation is like:
If you're in XY situation, please click here:
https://devrant.io/rants/580100/...4 -
What about "Man page"? You sound like a sex-throlling maniac and I demand that you blacklist the term also from the dictions on your doc 🤪 (Oh fuck, did I just used the word 'blacklist'?) *whispers* Sorry Jim, I actually meant 'darklist' the word 'Man page'.
9 -
I needed to print out the documentation of Vue. Their guide, unfortunately, is not printer friendly. Used tempermonkey to inject a script which removes the navbar and sidebar so that I can print it.
I am a hacker2 -
Just got a new job at an old school hardware company. The codebase is giving me heart attack. They don't care about dev experience or code navigation at all. Every attempts to modernize the codebase is so half assed. All patches are so bloated that make the codebase even worse.
Frontend is migrated from prototype-oop-jquery cluster fuck to AngularJS, then finally angular. Holy moly, all business logics are baked into UI "classes" using prototype chain. When they migrated to AngularJS, someone simply added a wrapper to that jQuery cluster fuck class and overwrote all the prototype with a 10k +lines file. Since all the methods are hidden in either prototype, JS object, or callback function, it's impossible to trace the data pipeline using IDE when "go to definition" on update() method gives you all the update methods/string in all objects/classes. And they don't care about immutability. References are taken out, renamed, and mutated everywhere. Finding the source of a bug is fucking guessing game.
I don't know what trick they use that makes cLion static analyzer fail.
And there is no unit test or spec doc.
Fuck me dead3 -
I have finished some docs for my project.
Going to bed.
GIANT insect in my bed.
I think i'll not sleep tonight...
I prefere the doc work.1 -
Have u heard about ear infarction?
Which makes one of your ears deaf?
Aaaah! I got one!
Tommorow must go to the doc then he injects inside my ear (hope it is less painful then i think)
Wish me luck ! Hope I can hear things as before soon
24 -
In vulkan we don't say it works we say
VUID-vkAcquireNextImageKHR-fence-01287(ERROR / SPEC): msgNum: 207921847 - Validation Error: [ VUID-vkAcquireNextImageKHR-fence-01287 ] Object 0: handle = 0xe7e6d0000000000f, type = VK_OBJECT_TYPE_FENCE; | MessageID = 0xc64a2b7 | vkAcquireNextImageKHR(): VkFence 0xe7e6d0000000000f[] is already in use by another submission. The Vulkan spec states: If fence is not VK_NULL_HANDLE it must be unsignaled and must not be associated with any other queue command that has not yet completed execution on that queue (https://vulkan.lunarg.com/doc/view/...)
Objects: 1
[0] 0xe7e6d0000000000f, type: 7, name: NULL
VUID-vkAcquireNextImageKHR-swapchain-01802(ERROR / SPEC): msgNum: 1050126472 - Validation Error: [ VUID-vkAcquireNextImageKHR-swapchain-01802 ] Object 0: handle = 0xcb3ee80000000007, type = VK_OBJECT_TYPE_SWAPCHAIN_KHR; | MessageID = 0x3e97a888 | vkAcquireNextImageKHR: Application has already previously acquired 1 image from swapchain. Only 1 is available to be acquired using a timeout of UINT64_MAX (given the swapchain has 2, and VkSurfaceCapabilitiesKHR::minImageCount is 2). The Vulkan spec states: If the number of currently acquired images is greater than the difference between the number of images in swapchain and the value of VkSurfaceCapabilitiesKHR::minImageCount as returned by a call to vkGetPhysicalDeviceSurfaceCapabilities2KHR with the surface used to create swapchain, timeout must not be UINT64_MAX (https://vulkan.lunarg.com/doc/view/...)
Objects: 1
[0] 0xcb3ee80000000007, type: 1000001000, name: NULL
and I think that's beautiful10 -
Seems like ORACLE doesn't know how to display the grave accent symbol on websites 🤔
https://docs.oracle.com/cd/...
Scroll down.1 -
I might ditch Firefox for Chrome just for the fact that sometimes it doesn't open a pdf doc rather it just starts downloading it again and again and again until I sign out.19
-
So...
Paying minimum wages as become the norm in Portugal.
No matter that I have the same formation time in my area, plus experience, than a doc or engenheir everyone wants to pay minimum wages...
I'm so tempted to ask the next interviewer (usually an engineer) if his also getting minimum wage....
I'll do one year at my corrent company and will probably get out of this Europe's Ass.
Sorry for the bad typing. Working till 8 am11 -
Dear Microsoft power bi team.
Go fuck yourself. Put that dashboard up your ass. The documentation for this is a joke.
The doc says I can get my tokens from azure portal. But guess what. The portal is a sea. And seems like powerbi is moved out from portal to its own powerbi.fuckyoumicrosoft.com
What the actual fuck you dimwits. Why don't you document it properly ?
For fuck sake. Go show up your analytics deep into your pie chart.2 -
What the fuck Microsoft !! Your android apps are total piece of shit! Fucking outlook Android app don't have support to view doc file which is created using your shitty Microsoft teams portal.
If I click on that doc file link through my outlook app, you redirect me to chrome.
Ok that's still acceptable. But the real shit starts now. You tell me that your browser isn't supported! Is this fucking joke?? Who in the world develops a website which can't support latest version of Android chrome?
Now that I have installed your shitty Microsoft teams app, it doesn't show up in "open with" options. Clicking on that link is still redirecting to the chrome saying that browser is unsupported.
Also, your shitty Microsoft teams app can't edit fucking doc file. When I click on your Microsoft word icon, You again ask me to install Android app for Microsoft word.
Seriously fuck you Microsoft and your shitty apps!
1 -
Just spent 6-8 hours or so trying to get image uploading to work with sending messages with firebase. Finally completed it.
Disclaimer: this might not make the most sense as I am completely drained mentally.
The issue was that I wasn't calling the send message method inside the upload image method. Meaning the images would upload but before I would be able to get the Uri back from firebase to put in the hashmap for the messages, the message hashmap would already be sent.
It was a pain in the ass to do. But 5 windows and 40 tabs later, then some doc reading. Then a quick break to eat. And some more stressing about my code. I finally realized that I should have just called the send message inside the incomplete listener in the image upload.
TLDR;
"uploadImage(), sendMessage()"= no Uri; :(
"UploadImage() { sendMessage() } = Uri" :)
PS: Yes, this is me talking to myself on my other account
10 -
Long story short, my mama fixed the printer!
Well, more like she did troubleshoot.
Needed to print something and printer didn’t light up. Did some basic troubleshooting but didn’t work. So assumed it’s spoiled and thought would just use softcopy since document isn’t that important.
When papa told mama abt it, she went ahead and troubleshoot/setup for me to print. Even printed out a test doc, lol.
Then she remarked, “u’ve been doing software, that’s why not so good with hardware hah!”
Proud child is proud. 💪🏿2 -
fuck my school. all i had to do was log in to see my grades and what do i get? the fucking stack trace. security? i think not. seriously though, why the fuck would my county want to make their own grading website when the one we had worked just fine? it looks like it was written terribly, the cause was just a bad socket connection and it even gave me the server name and version. i copied it to a google doc (it was already shortened) and it took up seven pages. jesus.2
-
PM wrote a really high-level requirement doc and asked me about estimates.
Me: Well, functionality-wise it will take 4-5 days provided the design is ready.
PM: Our designers are really full on schedule; Just do it! Expand your creativity. I believe in your taste of UX
Me: Listen, the implemented design will take much more time to change if we go back and forth. It's better to revise on the designer's screen.
PM: Oh don't be so modest! I trust you already. Just focus on the functionality, get it done first. For the design we'll talk about it later. Move fast and break things!
Me: ..Sigh. This is gonna end up badly.6 -
That moment during your internship when you work on a project using a framework you're not familiar with, with no doc, and absolutely no comments, and you find a file with 1.3k lines of code without the ability to contact the previous dev
4 -
Wait this is crazy!
Well I'm not an anxious or depressed type.
But no melatonin pill = no sleep
Worst part is no sleep during the day cause of sun light.
Even taking pills won't guarantee my sleep .
Yes I told my doc and he said "just relax , limit your caffeine "
Have you experienced this?29 -
I am a little bit old fadhioned when it comes to new dev tech stuff. I am at first, not an early adopter ( others should proof it first) and second I like to read books. If there is someone who has understood the matter and has written a book, then I go for it 😁 and third, when I have to use an early technology then the simplest thing is to read the doc to get a grasp what this is all about. Youtube as others describes is lame, because if you are forced to watch 40min when you are just interested in one small thing, you will loose a lot of time finding the relevant piece of content..
Positive on reading is, that you have to think for yourself!1 -
> grep -c -e '// BAD HACK:' importantproject/src/main.cc
4287
our most important piece of legacy c++ software with about 44 thousand lines of code and next to no doc aside from inline comments.4 -
!rant (all ranters should read)
Today I was at university, doing some C low-level stuff. Then I looked my Professor.
Holy fucking shit, this man (and obviously the others) learned programming without google, stackoverflow, youtube and online doc/forum/examples/explanation.
I also believe that some of them could not compile and run at home their software.
MASSIVE RESPECT FOR YOU ALL !1 -
I used to think that I had matured. That I should stop letting my emotions get the better of me. Turns out there's only so much one can bottle up before it snaps.
Allow me to introduce you folks to this wonderful piece of software: PaddleOCR (https://github.com/PaddlePaddle/...). At this time I'll gladly take any free OCR library that isn't Tesseract. I saw the thing, thought: "Heh. 3 lines quick start. Cool.", and the accuracy is decent. I thought it was a treasure trove that I could shill to other people. That was before I found out how shit of a package it is.
First test, I found out that logging is enabled by default. Sure, logging is good. But I was already rocking my own logger, and I wanted it to shut the fuck up about its log because it was noise to the stuffs I actually wanted to log. Could not intercept its logging events, and somehow just importing it set the global logging level from INFO to DEBUG. Maybe it's Python's quirk, who knows. Check the source code, ah, the constructors gaves `show_log` arg to control logging. The fuck? Why? Why not let the user opt into your logs? Why is the logging on by default?
But sure, it's just logging. Surely, no big deal. SURELY, it's got decent documentation that is easily searchable. Oh, oh sweet summer child, there ain't. Docs are just some loosely bundled together Markdowns chucked into /doc. Hey, docs at least. Surely, surely there's something somewhere about all the args to the OCRer constructor somewhere. NOPE! Turns out, all the args, you gotta reference its `--help` switch on the command line. And like all "good" software from academia, unless you're part of academia, it's obtuse as fuck. Fine, fuck it, back to /doc, and it took me 10 minutes of rummaging to find the correct Markdown file that describes the params. And good-fucking-luck to you trying to translate all them command line args into Python constructor params.
"But PTH, you're overreacting!". No, fuck you, I'm not. Guess whose code broke today because of a 4th number version bump. Yes, you are reading correctly: My code broke, because of a 4th number version bump, from 2.6.0.1, to 2.6.0.2, introducing a breaking change. Why? Because apparently, upstream decided to nest the OCR result in another layer. Fuck knows why. They did change the doc. Guess what they didn't do. PROVIDING, A DAMN, RELEASE NOTE. Checked their repo, checked their tags, nothing marking any releases from the 3rd number. All releases goes straight to PyPI, quietly, silently, like a moron. And bless you if you tell me "Well you should have reviewed the docs". If you do that for your project, for all of your dependencies, my condolences.
Could I just fix it? Yes. Without ranting? Yes. But for fuck sake if you're writing software for a wide audience you're kinda expected to be even more sane in your software's structure and release conventions. Not this. And note: The people writing this, aren't random people without coding expertise. But man they feel like they are.5 -
After seeing it in a demo, the customer didn't like their first loading gif and they sent another one.
I go to open it to verify it's good and Gimp won't open it; Chrome, Firefox, IE, even MS Paint fails miserably. Eventually I ran file on it and it's an html doc.
So I changed the extension and loaded it up. He saved his slack window as a gif. -
Multiple all-nighters (all day every day):
1) Working, studying and developing an Android game as pet project. Last few weeks before release (yup, I've set a deadline for a pet project) my day consisted of uni, work, more work and 4-5h sleep.
2) Having worked on my thesis (Development of a CPU/SoC + Firmware + Linux kernel) and actual paid work. In parallel. Because, you know, I need to eat and pay rent and shit while I'm writing the thesis. And debts at that moment were not an option (still made some). All-day all-night all-week. After submitting the thesis I went to the doc and enjoyed 2 weeks of doing nothing.
3) Sometimes on my main open-source project after regular work hours. If I have the motivation and ideas that I want to check out or prove it gets late/early too fast. -
Reloaded a page every time something updated @ my Backend instead of doc manipulation.
Please don't kick me out of devRant -
I want to rage at printers until my wrists are destroyed, like RMS did (atleast thats my theory on how he got his wrists bad).
Whoever thaugt that a scarse doc is sufficient to make devs understand bootloaders shall die amongst all the kevins1 -
Don't you just love it when you get a project with no requirements doc, so you make your own spec and requirements, start to architect and develop the project correct way, the 2 weeks later your manager comes to you asking why wasn't features XYZ not included and how you should add functionalities for A B and C...
-
I’m currently still looking for a new job after two very, very horrible jobs. My doc said I’m worked out and shouldn’t work for a while because it really has some physical negative effects.
I always feel unenthusiastic, have breathing problems, crumbly, sweaty hands all the time.
But just today the CEO of a company I know from a previous customer texted me on behalf of another company which I’ve worked for where I was extremely happy. Sadly, that company wasn’t quite the focus I had as programmer.
But I’m happy to slowly be known in the industry around me and look positive in the future.8 -
Just got off the phone with a csr about a bug they found. No biggie, I said I'd fix it. Basically until it gets fixed I told them that when they do their process to make sure to do "foo" first, then "bar" second. As soon as I got off the phone, had to poop so I went to the bathroom, and as soon as I sat down I get a message from the same CSR, "Hey I did bar first, can I type foo then bar again?"
WTF DID I JUST SAY LITERALLY 2 MINUTES AGO ON THE PHONE. TBH IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU JUST DIDNT DO ANYTHING FOR 15 MINUTES BUT NOW I HAVE TO COMB CLOUD FUNCTION LOGS, FIND THE DOC UID YOU CREATED, FIND THE DOC YOU MADE, DELETE IT, DELETE THE ASSIGNMENT IN YOUR TRASH ASS WORKPLACE PORTAL, AND STILL FIX THE SAID BUG3 -
one week back from my holidays and so far:
- 3 server outages
- 1 developer will be fired
- 2 new employees (company has around 35 employees)
- 2 employees leaving
- outsourced designs, the designer surely didn't read the feature research doc nor followed style sheet
- a small, easy feature has not yet been finished by the rest of the team
- new devOps engineer wants to rewrite our entire tech stack
But at least the CEO was doing it's best and ran away from the problems & ran 150km21 -
Anyone who says 'Docker is easy" should burn in hell.
Sure, It took me 5 minutes to run my project in docker container
Took another 25 to run multipl;e comntainers via compose
Now, 3 hours later, can't run compose from multiple Visual Studio solutions. Says "Pull failed"
No doc. No examples. No nothing.
I'll try for another hour or so, if not, fuck that docker shit. I'll go to Service fabric.13 -
Recruiter: «I have an opportunity [...] J2EE development [...] please send CV in .doc format»
Where is my flame thrower?4 -
When its saturday morning and you're on a bridge because the migration is still failing 34 hours in and the PM mentioned the vendor doc that he 'trimmed for your benefit' and replaced with his terrible doc, and you beat the original out of him and basically read off the section title "Exactly the error you got and the steps to prevent and resolve" and section 2 "big bold red letters explaining how to avoid it" and you instafix it. #wherewereyouonthursday
-
You know what a fucking good place for 1000s of mp4s, pdfs, doc files, exes and svgs is? Yeah, the bloddy SVN,which mirrors to git.
And how about a ibm websphere install zip with tiny 1.3gb?
And of cause you store your fuckin perl and Shellscripts, that have been written by a plain lunatic and that are responsible for installing the crap in the repo.
What? One repo for one component? Nah, cramp like 150 different projects into on repo.
And the most important scripts have to be kept unversionized ... For reasons.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg of shit.
Btw. websphere ships its own apache2.2 and its own security lib and its own openssl compilation, with ibm java ... Filesystem hierarchy standard? Dafuq? If you want to find something it better be like where is waldo - right, IBM? And command arguements? Man pages, usable documentation, usable deployment? How did any of this ever seem like a good idea to anyone?
Go get a koloscopy with a submarine periscope, IBM. -
It's Friday and you're tired. You're working beyond 8 hrs already. Sure it's paid OT but you want to go home. Just finishing the last 10 API endpoints. But you execute the wrong script the overwrite the directory of the last 10 API endpoints instead of the swagger doc generator script. GRRRrrr.... NO!!!!! T_T2
-
I’m studying at uni remotely at the moment. I’m taking a software engineering class. I love developing software so I was super excited about this course. First assignment is to make a tic tac toe game in python. I finish the assignment super fast within the first hour of our first class.
We end up spending the rest of the fucking semester on this fucking program. No improvements, nothing. Literally just staring at this less than 200 line command line tic tac toe game talking about the same fucking shit every class.
Our fucking final is a presentation about this fucking program. The entire class is going to present the same command line python tic tac toe game
People told me that in the past, this class would find a local client and fulfill a request (making a website, etc)
However, now there’s a new prof teaching this course.
Best way I can describe it, 3 hours of this fucking prof screen sharing a google doc and droning on for 3 hours
I wish I could get the 20+ hours of my life back that this course has taken from me10 -
Me VS Dentist:
Me: Hey Doc, it hearts on the left side of my jaw, can you take a look at it maybe?
Dentist: Awh that’s nothing. If you just keep it clean there is no problem. Let’s make a picture just to be sure.
Also Dentist: i can’t see it with my bare eyes but the picture indicates an upcoming problem on the right side. I HAVE TO REPAIR THIS!
No fucking complaints there but still.
This reminds me of IT people and car mechanics. They can tell you anything to earn cash from you.2 -
Wow or wtf to these banks API. was integrating an API for a service which accept JSON input.
Okay fair enough, that would be fine
Spent an hour writing code(purescript) most of time spent was on writing Types based on the API doc. after that okay let me test the API it failed.
I was what happened? So tested the API from postman with the payload from the doc, it worked. What how?
used a JSON diff to compare the payload from postman and the log. Looked same to me after spending few hours checking what is wrong with it .trying changing value to pasting the body of the log request in postman and trying everything failed.
Later went to the original working payload provided by them and changing the order. It started throwing error. I was like wait what?
It must be only on there UAT. created a payload with production creds and hoping to our production server (they have IP whitelist) ran the curl with proper payload as expected it worked. Later for same payload changed the order or one key and tried it failed.
Just why????
I don't want to create a JSON with keys on specific order. Also it's not even sorted order.4 -
Why do all the cool things have terrible documentation?
I'm looking at you Gnuradio and OpenCV!
Doxygen doesn't count if you don't actually write doc comments!!3 -
Noob: How do I start my career in web development, do I do a course in Coursera, Udemy, or...
Me: Don't do any of this, use Mozilla MDN web doc.
I really wish the younger me followed this advice when starting up...3 -
That feeling when you are browsing a job offer and they claim they use "pure PHP".
LOL nope. I won't maintain your custom framework created by five different freelancers over the past few years and turn into something that does scream Frankenstein.
At least state that it uses composer, symfony2 components or some other microframework. I have yet to see an application that truly requires your own framework. And even when you do, base it on silex / symfony2 components. http://symfony.com/doc/current/...1 -
o and btw, yesterday was my birthday lol.
realtalk: if you want me to feel special, dont fucking force me to be more social than on all the other days together, or i will rewrite the year without eightteenth february.
you fucking corksuckers, i dont want to go to that place my grandma (same bd as i) goes to to celebrate. fucking mediocre pizzaria isnt fucking worth it, so atleast give me a choose.
and on the very Least, could you please quiet up? its not by telling me ten times per hour to be more proactive at school that you will help me like school.
o and also FFS WHEN IM FUCKING SICK AND EVEN OFFERING TO GO TO THE DOC TO SEE, FUCKING DONH SEND ME TO SCHOOL ANYWAY, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS JUST BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY
(you just got an insight into my life. wanna see more? i dont think so)3 -
Does anyone know of any tools for deobfuscating a batch script?
I got one of those scam emails with a .doc file attached and wanted to pull it apart, embedded in that file is a VBA script that runs as soon as the document is open. I have figured out how the script works I just have no idea when it comes to the batch script that its running, any help would be appreciated.
heres a pastebin link with the script, https://pastebin.com/SDWnQc4812 -
We were 4 dudes developing this little disposable material management system for a course in college, and we had to write documentation and present on the last day of class. Second week into the course and one dude goes rouge, not taking phonecalls nor replying to messages, just goes to class and does not get together with us to make progress. Neddless to say the other three of us had to do all the work. Fast forward to last day, all of us wondering where this dude could be. He shows up 6 mins before the presentation, already late, reads like 3 pages of the doc, and decides he will be the lead presenter.
>Mfw he takes over and starts bs'ing the whole thing.
>Mfw he mentions the possibility of the system to be extrapolated to manage salami in a butchery.
>Mfw the professor seemed to have swallowed all that bs like cake.
>Mfw we get an A, including him.
>Mfw I have no face4 -
What to do against chronic back-aching?
The tips on the internet ain't helpful and the doc can't go out of drunk state.10 -
This guy is supposed to be a senior dev, he is supposed to have worked 30+ year on this field.
This 🦧 still doesn't know how to read the Doc. I swear he spent the whole day renting about how things are impossible to do.
Last Time setting up a python virtualEnv was an impossible task for him12 -
Today I tried to make an asp.net app and publish it to iis all without the help of Visual Studio. This is teribly difficult!
Then I had a great idea for website to store my .ppt and .doc files (and other school shit) with mongodb and tried node.js as backend. Holy shit did I really host everything all in 10 lines of js!?!?!!! Comment some great tutorials. -
Reading about tasklet and workqueue in linux kernel and this happened:
Caution
The name 'tasklet' is misleading: they have nothing to do with 'tasks', and probably more to do with some bad vodka Alexey Kuznetsov had at the time.
This rant is brought to you by official linux kernel documentation.
https://kernel.org/doc/htmldocs/...4 -
** this means words are muted **
Friday:
I send a mail the client a Google doc with elaborate details about evaluation of an Android tablet from a Chinese manufacturer.
Monday:
The client is upset, he says "You say there is no GPS chip on the tablet while the manufacturer says otherwise"
Me- "I have clearly mentioned that it has a GPS chip"
Client- Opens the Google doc, points to a sentence. Looks at me like I did something horrible.
Me - **This guys is either word blind or something else is wrong with him, the line reads 'GPS chip available'**
Me- "Look, it says 'GPS chip available'.
Client- **Blinks n blinks again** "Alright, but why did you share a Google document, why not PDF, docx"
Me-**Politely** "You can download the document in any format, look I will show you..."
Client- "It should have been in the mail itself ideally"
Me- **WTH** "We normally maintain a document for such things to keep everything organised, but if you want I will put everything in mail itself"
Client- "Hmm.. do both from next time"
Me- "Alright" **BS**
Client- "Why is the new feature taking so much time"
Me- "As planned earlier, we going to deliver it tomorrow"
Client- "Why not today??" **Gives a strange look.**
Me thinking - **Enough**
Me- "See, I am trying to integrate a smarten with a socket connection, reading it's data via exposed APIs that are hardly documented, we need faster performance so I need to implement caching, multi threading, offline handling, multiple processes to avoid memory fluctuations, sync adapter to sync data...."
Client- "Ok ok ok, it's fine if you give working build tomorrow"
Me- "Ok, fine"
#limit1 -
Working with a vendor's api. Every call is coming back error. Emails back and forth for two weeks, sending logs, changing settings, encoding urls...
From them: oh, this field needs to be unique.
Me: how are you just now catching that?!
The doc showed it to be a specific value. We must be their first client or something.1 -
argh!!!! The fucking IT guy just went in and changed shit without permission on the company intranet I manage. It was awful! A subpage would literally have 25 words on it and then a link to a doc that referred to list of files on another subpage! WTF! Also these were not added to the navigation bar either. This is a Google site so easy to fix it but mothafucka jeez!!!
-
Fuck api docs which are blatantly wrong. Wasted several hours on building an API client with pagination according to the api docs.
Turns out the actual implementation did not follow its own spec / api doc and returns values without pagination. And some objects are not objects but arrays.
I mean, next time I build an API client, I'll just fire a dozen requests on the endpoint, see what it wants and see what I get and maybe guess right what it actually does.4 -
How to spend more time writing docs then code?
15m = doc
1m = code
<code>
/* Motor DC + Mosfet IRF520 + Servo
Materials:
IRF520 (Mosfet) + Dc motor + Batery (3V min)
diode (1N4007?)
Changed Tip122 for IRF520: Tip122 has less resistance and produces more heat
Hardware:
ARDUINO = A(port , 5V , GND)
MOSFET = M(A[port] , + , GND)
MOTOR = MOTOR(+ , -)
BATERIA = BAT(+ , -)
DIODO = D(sinal_1 , sinal_2)
MOSFET
M(port) = A(port)
M(+) = D(sinal_1) AND MOTOR(+)
M(GND) = A(GND)
D(sinal_2) = B(+) AND MOTOR(-)
ARDUINO
A(port) = M(port)
5V = null
A(GND) = M(GND) AND BAT(-)
*/
#define motorPIN 8 // A(port)
int loopy = 0; // Loop variable to limit de program
void setup()
{
// Initialize the motor pin as an output:
pinMode(motorPIN, OUTPUT);
}
void loop() // 1 loop == 100ms
{
if (loopy < 10) // Turns motor ON for 1 second
{
digitalWrite(motorPIN, HIGH);
}
else // Turns motor OFF
{
digitalWrite(motorPIN, LOW);
}
}
</code>22 -
A few years ago I had a client that wanted a site transfered to their servers before it was complete. They then took over, making changes to their files. Then they would ask me to change some js and css that they couldn't figure out. Since neither them or I were using source control, I had to add my changes to a text doc and send to them with the file names and line numbers. What a pain.
-
Client: We need to support uploading doc, docx, all image formats and PDF to convert and combine everything into a PDF.
Me: lol. No.
No way in hell am I going to try to convert docx to PDF in Java.4 -
Sometimes I wish I could clone myself 3 times and start a company. Not that I think that I'm that smart, I'm fucking clueless most of the time. But because it's so hard to find people who freaking READ THE DOC!2
-
Previous related rant:
https://devrant.com/rants/1423178/...
Paşa survived it! His kidney is recovering again!
Even the doc was shocked about it.
Guess I made the best decision of my life yesterday :,)6 -
Project: Angular 11
Package doc 2.1: For Angular 13+
Package release 2.1: For Angular 12+
Me: Well, this package solve our problem but it need Angular 12 or 13 to run, so do we go for 13 ?
Team: yep,the update is on schedule so take it and update it later.
Me: We can also go to 14 directly.
Team: No, we prefer LTS version
...some weeks later...
Team: Update to 13 complete !
Me: Yes ! Let's go !
...Install package 2.1...
... Compilation...
🚫 Angular 14 is required for version 2.1
Me: are you fu***** kidding?
Final word: please, keep a good documentation on version requirements 😁
(The package has currently a 3.x in beta to solve the 2.1 angular 14 problem because why not 🤷) -
I always write a Google Doc before I start developing a feature to help me think what and how should I implement it and so I can share it with the team.
It is possibly the most frustrating process of the whole development cycle because Word and Google Docs still manage to make it a fuckin ordeal to insert a simple image without bombing the whole text to hell. How is it that after almost 30 years of history it is still shit to write a document?8 -
When you are wasting your time trying to make sense of 15000 different approaches for the same task...
and all those github repos are 3 years old with missing steps in the examples...
and official doc is such a mess that only a Time Lord could have the time to filter it...1 -
Just finished watching 2 episodes of the Bill Gates Netflix doc.... Wondering if maybe I should change my username... Nowhere near the genius and hard worker he seems to be...9
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Thought: Googling and using Stack Overflow is the fast food equivalent of coding. Sure you get an answer, but it's the minimal "nutritional value" you need to survive. Whereas if you had to go through the whole doc to do something, you were bound to stumble on a few things you didn't know, giving you much more knowledge in the end. Does that make sense?3
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when you cant be arsed to do icons so you just use emojis for button icons.
btn.textContent = "🗑️"
because icon sets now have their own apis (like what ever happened to icon fonts?), and documents explaining what scripts and commands to run to *install fucking plugins* on software written to *supplement* doc servers. plugins and software whos host site returns an SSL error. nice.
to use web icons. downloaded only on request. from other sites.
seems kind of eh, tower-of-baylon to me. like a bird landing on the electrical lines near your house might cause a blip and break one or two icons on your slick 2020 web app.
idk just seems unnecessary, like if you're small, your gonna want to embed your fonts on the webpage instead of overcooking things and hosting *a fucking server* just to serve an api for fucking *icons*. and if you're large you're gonna reduce those requests anyway12 -
I don't like things like "programming is copy&paste"
But if you think about it... Actually it is: when you don't know how to use a function or how to write a new language you read the docs, copying and using what they say 🤔
Stack Overflow? It's a doc full of examples 😁6 -
(On conference call with potential client)
Me: ...yes, you can interface with our system via our documented interfaces, using either JSON or XML...
Client: That's too hard. Can I just email you guys a Word doc or something?
Sales Rep: Yep, we can totally handle that, no problem.2 -
My conversation with Avalara support (API for taxing):
Me: Hey I'm implementing your API for a client. The requests are going through, I get a valid response back but all goods are taxed with $0. Can you please give me a hint what I might be missing?
Sup: You're using Salesforce Commerce Cloud, requests might be blocked through their firewall
Me: I don't think so, here are some sample requests and responses I just created. The object returned matches the one in your API Doc.
Sup: This isn't a system controlled by us, no support.
Me: So how in the world can it be you don't control your own endpoint?
Seriously, if you don't want to help, next time just say fuck you...5 -
On call with customer
Cstmr: What version is this?
Me: Can I see the build number plz?
Cstmr: Yeah
Me: *checks against internal doc*
Me: It's version X
Cstmr: Are you sure?
Me: Um...I'm pretty sure
Cstmr: I'm gonna check
Cstmr: *mutes me and spends 10mins finding public version of the doc*
Cstmr: Ah, it's update X
Me: *................* yes2 -
Took a software engineering class at my university. The class was online which is common at my school.
The entirety of the class ends up being the prof. scrolling through a google doc while sharing her screen. No watching her program stuff, no opportunities for us to program in class, nothing. Basically like reading documentation for 3 hours.
The final project? A fucking command line tic tac toe game written in python.
My group asked if we could do a tic tac toe multiplayer web app instead and she denied us with no reason
Complete waste of time1 -
I've been creating my Typescript/C# projects using SOLID principles. Whenever someone randomly joins me in my projects at work, i feel they need a lot of help. Specially since they know programming, but are not familiar with SOLID.
Like ohhh ok you created a base class for that, or ohhh that method already exists in the base class sorry i've implemented it again, or ohhhh ok you already implemented this method in that class.
The more classes i create the more complicated it becomes, sometimes for me too!
I feel I have to write a documentation for the code I write just to keep up with the different, but code changes/augments so writing a doc is really time consuming.
However if i didnt create base classes or interfaces it would be less complicated to browse through method definitions.
I am happy with the code like that though, but in some specific times it's a pain in the ass.
Comments?2 -
> wanting to add an embed google maps to a website I'm working on for fun, with React
> Check the API documentation, excepted their iframe they create from your needs, not much info about how to set in a a js framework
> decide to check if anyone has already created something with React
> They did! 1 american dude, one polish, one last from idk where
> The rest is basic doc so let's try each of them
> Errors, errors everywhere
> Screens stays awefully white
> Spend 2 hours checking, checking and checking again each library
> Each of them have a different problem
> Fuck this, let's copy the iframe thingy from Google's doc, adapt 1 or 2 things because of React and run npm
> Google maps works on first try -
How, how can I be sooooo bad sometimes.
I just discovered “Alias” feature of C#.
Let’s say you have 2 enums with the same name (Let’s say MyAwsomeEnum) in 2 different namespaces.
In this case I was always full qualifying the name.
I was today years old when I discovered “using MyAwsomeEnum = <Fully qualified name>” in the using section.
Edit : Even worse. It's like 3d example in official doc
https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/...
/facepalm on my self6 -
Why do people keep using .doc files? I've just downloaded a ZIP with 4 Word documents, 3 .docx and ONE .doc, what's wrong with whoever did this?12
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Total brain crash...
Was writing a word doc.
Got interrupted by a colleague
When i got back to the doc my brain instinctively told me: "You idiot, you can't write anything while debug is running"
Spent a whole 5 mins trying to find stop button... wait... this is word....
Is this a bug in my brain?1 -
In reference to https://devrant.com/rants/2340071/...
I feel like the elf on the shelf.
Maybe I need more elfpussy at work.
I mean, while at santas workshop. These workplace benefit man, just aren't cutting it.
Ms. Claus just ain't doing it for me no more.
Half chub is best I can do. Fedex won't ship little blue pills to the north pole this time of year. Doctor won't prescribe any more either. Says "you have a problem john."
No shit doc! I ran out of my god damn dick pills and have to code my little elf fingers off in order to make MurderSimulator 9, VA-Denied-My-PTSD Claim DLC Game of the Year edition for Santa's evil subsidiary, Activision.
Chinese sweat shops got nothing on north pole gulag elf slave farms!
Happy Holidays!
-
My New medication is !AMAZING....
Yesterday went to the Doc (another 100€ sniff) and got a new update on medication...
(check my profile history for the posts last weekend if ya curious).
One of them must be opium or something... I got so high It looked like Opium (I never did heavy drugs).
Now I'm falling all the time, Can't remember much last night and... man... I use/used Cannabis as medicine for years (on and off as needed) ... Still, remember when I could get high... And the highest time was when I learned cannabis it's great to stop suicide (A friend got me so stoned I couldn't move... Even if didn't really take out the tendencies and thoughts to kill yourself, you can't do it anyway...)
But this new Pill... ONLY SHEEAAATTTT...
Only problem,,, I can't really do shit Until my body gains tolerance... and I was doing so much cool ideas in my Office...
Btw, no more Space Again... The more drawers I place, the more stuff gets here...
But I think I'll lose all my energy again for the next months, so, fuck it.3 -
Uncle Bob, Martin Fowler, Kevlin Henney, Doc Norton, Allen Holub.
They have all taught me great things about software development, whether through books or superb conference talks. -
VS Code, WTF is wrong with your tab stops?
I set to 2 and you still use 4.
I say use spaces for tabs and you still put tabs in my document.
Tab settings by doc type? Not existing or working.
Damn you!
Just work5 -
spent 2 days trying to figure out why my css was working fine on one page but not another. found it was due to the doc type declaration on one of the pages was mad about me not putting height:100% on a parent div. smh1
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A junior Dev was assigned a particular task where he is expected to come up with the command to run inside the system. He came up with the commands. I being a senior Dev and who has access to run the command on the pod did it after verifying it. I ran the command with screen sharing it to the junior Dev for him to learn. Now manager asked him to document the steps. I found that the doc contains screenshots from our call. My screens exactly.
Now my question is, I'm feeling that he should have asked or informed before taking a screenshot of my screen? Is this feeling normal?6 -
Convo b/w me & lecturer.
Me: Is one line that explains exactly what it does okay?
Him: No.
Me: Okay I'll make it a paragraph explaining it a lot more in detail...Is that okay?
Him: Nope, you need to elaborate for laymen.
I don't know what more I can add. Sick of useless documentation. Any one else have this problem?1 -
We had a production outage directly caused by our team not following a change procedure correctly. Now we're under a microscope and in a "get well" program.
They took over the daily standup for this high priority program and are organizing efforts in confluence instead of jira.
Now we have a confluence doc of what everyone is working on with someone changing the text status in a table by hand every morning along with the comments in a note section...3 -
Hm. in MySQL 8.0.23 (yeah I'm kinda slow at catching up) they changed quite a lot.
- Hash Join implementation
- invisible columns
- InnoDB behaviour, eg AHI / IB
-....
https://dev.mysql.com/doc/relnotes/...
https://dev.mysql.com/doc/refman/...
Guess no more MySQL for me.
How should I trust a database whose QA seems completely non existent and where minor version releases change the complete behaviour of the database....
(it's not new per se, Oracle announced that with the 8 GA release minor releases can have new features, but I'm surprised they really keep it up with breaking... Their QA sucked before, but with the new features coming, MySQL / Oracle is dead to me. )
Will be interesting to see in which direction Maria DB goes.... So far it looks good, although they really should think about cutting ties with Oracle / MySQL as a lot of internals have quite diverted....
Fuck Oracle.20 -
!dev
Me: I have a shit ton of schoolwork to do
*Opens a google doc and start working on it*
*spends 20 minutes reformatting it because they way it was laid out annoys me*
Fuck this4 -
Oh god why... Why is it that every time I work with software defined radios, I keep on having to rely on not just incomplete, but at times misleading documentation 😩
Last time was GNU radio, with the doc telling me that I could define an input for a processing block using either a type or a (type, size) tupple, only for the actual code to scream at me in confusion upon my passing a tupple.
Now is that other SDR's SDK, which, as if being built upon eclipse wasn't bad enough, managed to make its serial communications confusing. Why can't you just let me set a callback to rx interrupts, you daft punks...1 -
I do not understand why you guys complains about Stackoverflow or even Arch linux forum. (There's a plenty of rant about those topic)
Those are just amazing, and of course, they will send you to the doc or downvote if you don't even do your job properly. I mean docs, google, other answer, wiki, tutorial, idk. There a plenty of resources where you actually can understand where's your problem. If after this you still don't have your answer, then ok ask it to the community because that why they exist.
But they aren't here just for repeating the answer that already exist and create double post, etc. Stackoverflow is one of the best source when you search on google because it's actually moderated nicely and guys won't hesitate to downvote you.
So if you got downvoted (Like I got sometime) then just think why was yours question/answer bad instead of just being angry against the community.
Ps: It's my first rant, but I was reading you guys since 1 year.3 -
Javascript makes me wanna blow my fucking brains out.
Why the fuck isn't appendChild working? It shouldn't be this fucking hard to get a simple result.
p = document.createElement("p");
p.textContent = String(new Date().getTime());
doc = document.getElementById("todoList")
doc.appendChild(p);
Done from within a listener function for another element, listening for onkeyup. Using bulma.
Jesus fucking christ and this is the profession I chose.
At this rate by the time I'm fucking competent I'll be replaced by wage slaves from india who started training at the age of ten because their government actually gives a shit about investing in their people instead of saddling new generations with trillions in bank debt so goldman fucking sachs can hire more underage prostitutes from epstein and mossad.22 -
Reading through a tutorial / blog post, getting all excited, then realizing it was dated 5 year ago, and with a completely obsolete version of the library you're working with.
Bloggers, tech doc people, and companies (I'm looking at YOU IBM) really need to at least date and version their articles! Please!
Mind you, search engines will happily serve up older code even when you're being specific (and no, I didn't mean "dance studio").
Is it any wonder developers bristle when high level management admonishes them for not "looking for help earlier"?1
