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Dear Apple,
If you were a person in the streets dying after swallowing a fish bone, I'd stop by only to KICK YOUR FUCKING HEAD REPEATEDLY INTO THE CURB!!!!
FUCK YOU for wasting my time getting my hands on an old MacBook just so I can develop in your shitty prison of an ecosystem.
FUCK YOU for wasting my time having to install officially unsupported crapOS for the hardware only in order to use your steaming pile of shit latest Xcode because it's the only way to write code for the target device.
FUCK YOU for running slower on a 2.5GHz processor with 16G of ram than the Internet did in 1995. FUCK YOU AGAIN as browsing the internet is faster than anything else on this setup. FUCKING planned obsolescence MOTHER FUCKERS!
FUCK you for the headaches with multiple different iOS versions to take into account when thinking about what should be a simple project.
FUCK YOU ESPECIALLY for just keeping the soulless simulator blank because i need a fucking mother fucking development certificate and provisioning profile to run a hello world on it.
FUCK YOU for forcing me to use 2 factor authentication to enroll on your SCAM developers program.
FUCK YOU for NOT FUCKING ALLOWING ME TO ENABLE 2 FACTOR AUTH WITHOUT REMEMBERING MY SECURITY QUESTIONS FROM 2012!!
FUCK YOU AGAIN for when I reset those through crappy crapOS THEN requiring me to FUCKING install Developer app from the shit store to enroll....
BUT FUCKING GOD DAMN FUCK YOU FOR GETTING ME TO WRITE THIS RANT BY THEN NOT ALLOWING ME TO ENROLL IN THE DEVELOPER PROGRAM THROUGH SAID APP BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE iCloud setup!!! I DON'T FUCKING WANT iCloud.... I WANT TO FUCKING MEET MY DEADLINE AND WRITE THIS APP!!!!!
JESUS WEEPS as I restart this absurdly slow crapbook in the hope that the option to sign in to iCloud will show up in settings next time....
(meanwhile I I contemplate the sisyphean absurdity of existence and how John C Lilly was probably right about the Solid State Entity grooming humanity for takeover by alien AI...)
I start to contemplate blowing out my brains instead as to sign into iCloud i need to remember some long lost code and now rinse wash and repeat mindless authentication steps OH SO VERY SECURE APPLE only to get the attached godforsaken error... i restart again as i wish the universe would restart itself...
...i begin to enjoy hitting my head against the desk as i try to understand why apple won't let me enroll in there development program... i guess it's because i'd kick their head in... after 2 hours no more... FUCK YOU APPLE TO ETERNAL INFINITE SUFFERING IN DEMONIC HELLS YOU WORTHLESS, PARASITIC, SCUMBAG ENTITY... GO CHOKE ON STEVE JOBS EXHUMED ROTTEN COCK!!! BASTARD TIME WASTING MOTHER FUCKERS!
35 -
Mac: Hello welcome please sign in
Dev: Fair enough
Mac: Oh you haven’t signed in in awhile please get get verification from other device
Dev: kk
Mac: Oh you don’t have a dev account, please sign in on this website
Dev: Hm.
Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account you need to download this app
Dev: ???
Mac: Are you sure you want to open this app you just downloaded?
Dev: Sigh.
Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account on this app you need to sign into it
Dev: For the love of god
Mac: Ok now you can build with Xcode.
Xcode: No you can’t. You have to sign in
Dev: fuck sakes.
Mac: Are you sure you want Xcode to access files on your computer?
Dev: …Yup
Xcode: Signing in isn’t enough you have to select the fact you are signed in a dropdown nested 3 menus deep.
Dev: God damn.
Xcode: Build failed please sign in to phone as well.
Phone: New sign in detected, please verify with alternative device.
Dev: Jesus.
Xcode: Build success! Pushing to iPhone.
Dev: Finally.
Xcode: Unknown error occurred. Please go to support.apple.com for help. :)
Dev: …24 -
#fuckapple for holding back the open-web. Most folk don't know that Chrome on iOS is just Safari with a skin; neither Google or Apple want you to know that.
If you hate web-apps on iOS, that is Apple's intentional doing. Apple cannot allow a bug-free and modern browser to run on their iOS devices, else they lose their 30% tax + dev fees cut. There are literally so many crippling bugs in iOS Safari that it HAS to be intentional.
There are email exchanges between Phil Shaffer and Steve Jobs from years past, where Phil didn't believe Apple could continue to gouge users 30%. He argued the open-web would make native apps largely redundant, and so to stay competitive, they'd need to drop the store fees to something reasonable. I suppose Steve Jobs saw a different solution -- just impede browser development.
As someone who develops free and open-source apps, I believe I am doing the world a favour by not supporting a native iOS app. When users complain about missing features in the web-app version, I tell them to take it up with Apple or buy an Android. Guess what? They sometimes actually do just that.
Join me if you have the balls. Tell Apple to FUCK OFF the only way they understand -- threaten their bottom line. At the very least, you'll never need to touch XCode again if you do. If time is money, that alone will make you wealthy.
10 -
For the first time I tried to use WordPress. I spent almost 30mins. Now I decided I should not use that again in my life. Fuck WordPress.4
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When I was in school, I had a period called "computers" every week. We were told by our computer teacher to remove our shoes outside the computer lab to prevent viruses from entering the computers.10
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Fuck you ios,storyboad,xibs,xcode. FUCK OFF!! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES. Literally giving me migrane with your fucking ass constraints!! Fuck you xcode for not having a terminal. Ios is utterly bullshit. Has fucking all kind of devices that I have to set constraint. Fuck you macos. You are slower than a snail. How on earth do you take so much time to build!!
Width, height, constraints, my ass! What is this fucking logic bro. Fuck you apple for making so many device of different sizes and then hiring us to set constraints. Warning warning warning oh what a load of crap!
I would rather die than set your fucking ass constraints.7 -
A few days back I talked to a person who is far away from me with an air distance of 7937km and electronic signals moving at almost speed of light crossing countries. That was good decent conversation.
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Just...Macbooks
(sigh)
The entire day wasted having to install a new OS to install a new Xcode to export an app, only to find the xcode was installed under a different user (who has long since gone from the company) to then have to look up what to do, to then just sit...........and....................wait.............for Xcode to download again.
And I know when I try to export my app (which had zero problems being exported to Android) I'm going to hit an entire day tomorrow of bug fixing for ios sh...stuff16 -
F*** u apple. From time to time I develop Apps for Android and iOS and boy is the whole iOS app distribution workflow bad.
I try for hours to upload a update for my app.
First I needed the readd my credit card then there were internal server errors and after that I needed to regenerate provisioning profiles.
Everytime I use something from apple, then I experience such a bad user experience. "It just works" not anymore friendo...4 -
Design is done by the ios guy. Its really good, but its very ios specific. The biggest pain is to implement blur everywhere. Also he does it directly in in xcode, so when i finally get it hes already done and android is always lagging behind. Management is aware of this and is ok with android lagging behind, but its annoying.2
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This is so nice..💙😄
<Heading>
Synopsis of Gita (religious book of Hindus)
<Stanza 1>
Code is an illusion
Today you are coding
Tomorrow someone else would do it
Thereafter someone else
<Stanza 2>
What did you learn
That is helping you in this Project
What are you learning
That will help you in your next Project
<Stanza 3>
Bug is the truth of life
It is today, and will remain forever
You think you have debugged the Bug
You are wrong
<Stanza 4>
It is continuous
In various new forms
It pops up
Recognise it Parth (Son of Hindu God)
<Stanza 5>
That's why go on making Codes
Don't think about the Bug
They will come to you
On their own1 -
Apple Developer webportal(s). My god, how on earth do you manage to make navigating and managing iOS projects so bad.
I mean seriously, for a company that makes some of the best UX experiences, and has the most design focussed thinking in the world, this has to single handedly be the worst god gam experience ever.
I mean, did your xcode IDE team have nothing to do so you let them make this pile of fucking trash.1 -
Fuck apple, and fuck xcode.
Making and running android app was a breeze.
Making and running ios app was hell.
Expectation : I should have gotten everything I need just by installing xcode and flutter.
Reality : I need to install these from the terminal : xcode command line tools, homebrew, ruby, cocoapods, firebase-cli. Also I need to manually add many stuffs, such as google login url into xcode project settings. Also we can simply test run our app or install to our device, and iphone we owned, we need to register in apple developer program, fill a full form, blah blah blah.
When it comes to android, I only need to register an account much much later, when I want to publish it to the playstore.5 -
So, I am currently on Spring Break, and what do I do when I am on Spring Break: I take a moment to experiment with different languages. This time, I decided to check out Objective C since it mixes up two languages that I love dearly (but that I do not use outside of academic endeavors) which are C and Smalltalk.
Going around the net I found this https://github.com/Flying-Toast/...
Notice: I have nothing against Swift, I stopped developing apps for IOS back when Swift was in its infancy, so I was forced to use Objective C and tbh I never had an issue with it, I had learned it before through GNUStep, the language was obviously strange when I started learning it, but I did not hate it, I tried following Swift to see if I could use it at least in some portions, but at the time of its release it was still pretty much beta for me, so I passed. I feel it is much better now, but the issues with the language at this point in time I feel are more from the side of XCode which can either be just ok, good or an absolute piece of shit depending on the release. Either way, I found the link to be funny.2 -
If not understanding code, read the documentation or debug the code. When trying to modify...
1. Follow proper indentation.
2. Don't make spelling mistakes and follow naming convention.
3. Don't try to write all the code in one line (based on line length set)
4. Simplify if else statements if possible.
5. If value of method call need to be used once, don't store it in a variable. Directly use where ever it is needed.
6. If there is duplicated code, put it in separate method and re-use it if possible.1 -
When it comes to using XCode, I can’t be the only one who thinks it’s a stupidly large file. Took a whole day to download, I know having a WiFi speed of 20Mb/s isn’t great but on a brand new iMac with nothing else installed you’d except it to download and install pretty quickly.
Also what is it with the Mac and things not wanting to be full screen??4 -
Way to go Xcode, you make something as simple as a splash screen an insane headache of cOnStrAiNts
WTF is going on
fuck you -
IDE: JetBrains IDEs with Material theme (Dracula)
Editor: VS Code
They are fast, amazing and beautiful while I write code.2 -
Guys, I always love to teach what I learn, but have no experience in teaching. I'm running a blog, but to put efforts for making even a simple app in blog it takes a lot of effort. I created a channel in YouTube, but I wasn't using it to share the content. But few days ago I decided to put and now sharing the content thinking the effort would be less compared to writing posts in blog. I have created a playlist, as of now I made only two videos and uploaded. I want your suggestion to know if it would be helpful or not for making these kind of videos for developers or who wants to learn? Here is the channel link
https://youtube.com/channel/...
Sorry if there is wrong tag!!1 -
I'm getting a bit bored with web development as it's what I do 5 days a week so I'm thinking of learning something completely different just for fun. Is learning ios development a good idea? I not planning to ever do it seriously or as a career6
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Im an android /java native coder
And a swift/xcode native coder
But I also expert in angular ...
Sooooooo ???
Shall I go android/kotlin+ios/swiftUI
Or ionic angular capacitor ?2 -
when xcode fails to load swift package dependency, it just fail silently, it removes targets from my build menu quietly and say nothing about why that fail, leaving me stranded and confused and spent hours to figure out why the target defined in the package.swift file just doesn't show up. I remember "UX" used to be the buzz word Steve Jobs bragging about?1
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macOS - just nothing makes sense.
You try to go away from the deprecated stuff, use the new shinier API to stop and start services with launchctl (bootstrap/bootout vs. load/unload). And how does this stellar OS thank you for that? By crashing your service. Thanks for nothing.
From developer perspective this whole OS is just such a nightmarish clusterfuck. If you want to set up code signing with some special entitlements and you try to use the provisioning profiles as advertised, it's like pulling the one-armed bandit. It will plunder your coins and sanity. You try to compile it, it fails or the executable will be killed - you enable and disable the automatic codesigning in Xcode, or delete and download you old code signing cert and suddenly it works. It's just random - and you have to perform random walks on the Xcode project settings to make it run. So Apple turned us into Xcode clicking monkeys... -
Why does xcode take so much time to install? I am come on! I wasted 4 hours and it still isn't done.13
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Added vapor core swift package to my project so that I can use some of the extensions, had to `rm -rf ~/Library/Developer/Xcode/DerivedData/` to make xcode realise the repo is actually exist.
Then I set the Core package as dependency of one of the targets, XCode complaints "unknown package Core", ok fine then I remove Core dependency, Core complaints "dependency Core is not used by any target".
How can xcode comes to this contradicting conclusion is out of my imagination, it just never gonna be happy about however i write.1 -
On a side note, XCode 14.0.1 up and running in a new time record on an HDD (not SSD)
Was always dreaming of this moment ever since XCode 6, finally it came true
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