The kind of testers I'm dealing w/ right now:

Until fairly recently, they thought it was a good idea to keep retesting stale && untouched bug reports to see whether an issue is still present, then leave a comment.

Imagine being assigned as a watcher to a report, but keep seeing comments made by testers akin to:

- version 1: issue is still present.
- version 2: issue is still present.
- version 3: issue is still present.
- version 4: issue is still present.

Which was true for some 90-95% of the cases.

How retarded does a person have to be to think that this is a good idea?

I say it's a great way to piss somebody off.

Reminds me of movies w/ scenes where there is this annoying brat in the back seat of a car asking 'Are we there, yet?' over && over again.

Once a report is up, just be fucking patient && wait until someone replies!

Years ago, I joined a company making games for handheld consoles.

Because a game's audio needs to be tested, too, I connected earphones to the console so that:
0. I wouldn't bother others w/ the sounds coming out of the console.
/* !Everyone wants to hear that crap. */
1. I could hear the sounds better.

PM: * Enters the room. *
Me: * Focused on testing the game. *
PM: * Walks up to me from the side, starts talking. *
Me: * Focused on testing the game. *
PM: * After approx. 30 seconds of complete lack of response from me, kind of irritated, knocks on my desk to get my attention. *
Me: * Take out the earphones. *
Oh, hi, how can I help you?
PM: Haven't you heard a word I said?
Me: Well, no. I am testing the game, including the audio.
PM: You need to pay attention to what's going on around you.
Me: Testing audio is one of my responsibilities. I am using earphones because of the reasons [0-1].
PM: Even still, you just need to pay attention to what's going on around you.
PM: * Finally explains the reason for him bothering me, then goes back to his lair. *

Moral of the story: Fuck being good at what you do && knowing your responsibilities.
When PM wants something from you, you better give him the attention he wants.

/* The expectation being I grow an extra pair of eyes && ears, so that I see the guy coming && am prepared to listen to him whenever he wants something _while_ doing the best job I possibly can. */

Some two years ago I purchased a license for AV solution on Amazon UK which is my default place for shopping.

When attempting to activate the license, I kept getting this annoying error somewhere along the lines of:
'License from another region.'

I contact the support, they did their magic && the license got applied.

Fast forward some two years - the license is about to expire.

The software is actually good, so I make the choice to renew it.

Thing is, I keep getting redirected to the local site w/o an option of choosing the English language.

I edit the site's address to reach an English version of the site.
On UK's site I am unable to choose my country of residence so I can't complete the purchase form.
I try a few other things && finally reach the Global site where I am able to input the correct data for the purchase, but all attempts to finish the payment fail.

Fine... I'll purchase from the local site.

I purchased the license, activated it w/o problems, but when attempting to download the installer it keeps downloading the localized version which doesn't allow me to change the language.

I contact Support.

S: 'The license you've purchased can be used solely w/ localized version of the software. If you want to use the English version, you'll have to get a refund && purchase from our Global site here [link w/o redirection].'

_Fuck_ this trend of automatic redirection to localized sites && forced localized software.

One shouldn't have to go through all these hoops to get the software in the language of their choice, instead of having the localized version shoved down their throat.

*Reading a bug report's summary*
'Object x is displayed incorrectly when playing on PC in resolution 1024x768 or Android tablets w/ 4:3 Aspect Ratio'

*facepalms*

You, sir, are failing at basic math && basic logic, among other things.

1024x768 _has_ an Aspect Ratio of 4:3.
If only you had bothered checking, you would've know that the issue is purely related to the Aspect Ratio && !just that one resolution.

Legacy Of Kain Soul Reaver 1 & 2 Remastered has been released.

It contains a lot of bonus material, including a few areas that have been scrapped before release.

Exploration of one of those areas may end up _crashing_ the game...

...Imagine that...

It's always the 'Poll Of The Day' on some other site that reminds me that there's an actual word for the fear of the Friday the 13th...

You know your e-Post Office really sucks when you receive only now scammers' emails that are _decades_ old.

I've recently learned how committing of the Save Data to file works in my project.

The file is updated w/ _each change_ made to the settings.

Worse yet - the file is updated even when _no actual change_ is made due to the setting already being at its highest / lowest value possible.
/*
e.g. 5 is maximum sound volume.
- You try increasing the sound volume.
- Setting can't get any higher, so remains unchanged.
- *Update the Save Data*.
*/

What kind of abusive masochist would do that?

// Yes... there's always blame.

There was this one time when we've managed to upload a Debug build to Google Play Store.

On the same day we had to create a new build w/ fixes, have the testers perform smoke tests, then switch to some fairly quick overall tests.

If nothing were to come up during those tests, the build was supposed to be passed over to the submission manager for release.

Things weren't going that smoothly in the beginning, w/ the first two builds being broken in one way or another.

Finally, however, we managed to create a properly working build.

QA hadn't had that much time to test it, but no major problems were identified && given the deadline we had to submit it.

The next workday it turned out that the tester responsible for passing the approved build over to the submission manager gave him the Debug build.

The submission manager none the wiser uploaded that build for release.

Result?

The users who managed to update their game got their save data wiped... sort of.

It looked that way given the Debug build was communicating w/ a different server.

In the aftermath of that situation, we had to repair the damage && upload the correct build as quickly as possible.

Also, ever since then a huge text 'DEBUG' was added to the loading screens of Debug builds to make people very aware of which build they were looking at.

As for any repercussions for the tester responsible for the mess, or the submission manager - I have no idea.

They were both still working there, so at the very least none of them got fired because of this.

Tester has found an issue: controller input stops working when performing certain steps.

Creates a report and provides an attachment.

The attachment depicts some menu where, at first, the cursor moves around various options, then simply stops moving.

The problem:

Since this is a simple in-game recording, there is neither an overlay of the controller w/ a visual representation of the input actually being provided but not working, nor there is a camera recording available where I can see the tester pressing buttons on a controller.

For all I know, the tester put down the controller / stopped pressing buttons.

...I've also seen reports of animations not working... w/ fucking screenshots attached.

How the fuck can you see something not being animated in a fucking static picture?