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Friend: I hate my new OnePlus 6. It's really slow and hangs a lot
Me: I can't believe
Friend: Use it yourself, you'll know.
*Me using his phone
*Realising it was really slow
*Checking his installed apps
- CCleaner
-DU Booster
-Antivirus free version
-Antivirus pro
-Antivirus ultimate
-Battery Saver
-App Booster
-Super Cleaner
-RAM Master
*poured poision in his coffee
*enjoyed watching him die slowly37 -
These "math question" captchas are really stupid.
It's not even an image that has to be OCR-ed, it's just plaintext. Why can't these people understand a captcha is supposed to be something only a person can do? This is math. Computers are amazing at math.
23 -
My classmate is a real SAVAGE!!
He (team leader) and his team participated in hackathons several times and kept losing.
He noticed something common about winning team, majority of those team members were women, even if they were non technical and their project was pure bs, they were winning in the name of women empowerment.
This time he came out with a plan, he fired his boys and invited women into his team, and even made one girl the team leader.
Result? HE WON!!!
NOT ONE BUT THREE HACKATHONS BACK TO BACK
AND
His so called women team was invited by Google to pitch their startup idea.
Now, if they gets funding, he's gonna kick out these women and bring back his teammates32 -
Me: *uses HashMap* for a problem to count some elements*
Lecturer: why are you using HashMap?
Me: it's the best way of solving the problem
Lecturer: I haven't explicitly taught you what a HashMap is so why are you using it?
Me: Because I learn outside of what university teaches me
Lecturer: there's another way to do this
Me: enlighten me
Lecturer: iterate through the array using a nested for loop and count as you go along
Me: why the hell would I want to do that? That literally decreases the efficiency of my program by alot
GG lecturer telling me it's a better idea of making my O(n) runtime into an O(n^2) instead of complimenting my code.
Seriously what the fuck is up with the fucking education system. Since when was it okay to teach students how to completely fuck your code up and promote ways of making your code so inefficient?33 -
Similarities between this spider and me:
- We both are web developers
- We both live in same room
- We both try to find bugs everyday
11 -
Trying to make a not realistic deadline,set today for yesterday. Pleasing clients is what I do.
With a little #catsupport, she is probably wondering why I'm not in bed so she can sleep on me.
12 -
>installed Tinder®
*after 5 mins
>felt like a loser
>uninstalled Tinder®
>back to coding
BETTER!!!26 -
Stop buying domains that you don't use you fucking idiots. Can't find any domain for my new project. But none of them are being used. Fucking retards.15
-
"Oh c'mon, my 14 yr old son can change background color of entire website and you're charging me extra for simple face detection feature?"6
-
Gonna start a blog where i take medium articles by retards and explain why is what they write stupid12
-
working on an android app. the guy who wrote it is a complete retard designed it and made it overcomplicated and unmaintainable now no one can change anything without breaking all that shit ... found this comment, someone else tried to do it and failed miserably apparently.
2 -
Hey PMs!
Fuck you!
Estimates are NOT... I repeat..they are NOT the FUCKING DEADLINES.
If you are asking for an estimate then remember, in your absolutely fucking small fucknugget brain, that it can FUCKING CHANGE!
The last thing you wanna do is grill the dev by asking them to explain in details why the change instead of trusting them. Specially when you don't understand a thing of the technology.
- Dev on whom you are shitting you asshole!18 -
I used to use Firefox few years ago, but people around me called me fool and told me that Chrome was much better.
Now I use Chrome and you devRanters are making me feel like fool again.
Lesson Learnt: Stand straight on your decisions23 -
>be me
>it student
>working on group project
>one guy is making the ui
>says he added "date selection events"
>check code
Switch(date.Day){
case 1:
break;
case 2:
break;
//To-Do: add other days
}
He did this for years, months, hours and minutes.
He bragged about it.
Fuck you.
Sincerely, fuck you.3 -
My non coder friend thinks typing a 1000 line document and coding 1000 line software/app are perfectly equal things and deserves equal salary.20
-
Today I was trying out Google Collaboratory for the first time. Just realised that they've built-in "SEARCH STACKOVERFLOW" button if there's an error
1 -
Yes, you fucking retards, I will read this article about logging in NodeJS when the cover photo
- Isn't JavaScript
- Isn't about logging
You really seem to know what you're talking about!
14 -
A child is deleting all the necessary files required to run games, softwares etc.. He thinks they're virus just because he can't open and play with them.
Now he clicked on game.exe to play his favourite game but this happened:
"Error: blah blah
xyz file is missing"
He is confused. He is blaming his father for buying the worst computer for him
This child is me, 8 yrs ago :')4 -
Pro tip: It is faster and easier to say 'World Wide Web' than it is to say 'WWW'.
You're Welcome!18 -
My first rant was about this topic.
I once made a program using C++ which would allow you to make HTML pages.
I made a menu using switch () like this:
1. Add Title to website
2. Add Image
3. Add New Line
4. Add paragraph
Etc..
This was the most useless and stupid thing I ever made5 -
Although I'm a Linux fan, I have to admit a few things:
1. BSD has the best mascot BY FAR.
2. Windows XP had the best sounds. Almost orgasmic...
3. Apple has the best fanboys. You see all those retards camping out of an Apple store waiting for a new gadget, it makes you feel good about yourself...
4. I would also say something about Google and Android, but they know what kind of porn I watch, so I think it's wise to skip that one...6 -
Today I downloaded SpyKids (2002) movie to refreshen childhood memories.
Saw that scientists were using welding machine and chemicals to make artificial intelligence.6 -
The reason why I changed my username ( I'll just be honest here )
I was working on a website. I noticed that entries were submitting yesterday but today new entries were not showing up on database. It was like my database refused to insert new rows but there was no new error in log. I kept trying for almost half an hour, read all the answers on stackoverflow, read docs, tried different methods. Nothing worked. I was fucked up. Completely fucked up.
In frustration, I just stared my database for 10 mins without a single blink, and then I noticed this thing 'showing 25 out of 78 rows'
(-_-)
I clicked on 'show all'
AAAAAAND
I felt retarded.
Okay I can give an excuse that last time I saw a database was a year ago, but still.. how retarded you need to be to not see this FUCKIN 'SHOW ALL' when it is on the TOP of the FUCKIN TABLE!!6 -
Fuck you and you and everyone!!
It's midnight and I'm in a village on the top of a FUCKIN MOUNTAIN!!!
Wind is so fast that it's literally blowing whistles while passing by my ears.
And it's fukin cold as fuck.
> Hey dude, are you coding on the top of a mountain??
> HELL YEAH!!!
11 -
To the junior student in my university who copied my CV from top to bottom:
Fuck you and your cockless ancestors. I hope you never get a solid job using that CV. I curse you and your copied CV and all the others that might use it. You are the reason why companies make the recruitment process to complicated. Because retards like you can't be bothered to use your creativity to make something original. Fuck you asshole15 -
Time to change my skills from PHP developer to AI researcher, Blockchain engineer and grab some thousand dollars deal on Freelancer
3 -
Well, it is my turn to rant about the retards on Stack Overflow who are voting down questions only because they are not capable of understanding it.13
-
For those of you retards that post shit like:
"fuck"
"well I hate this"
or similar shit that only you understand in the hopes that someone goes and asks you what is wrong: fuck off with that attention seeking bullshit.
Seriously, even it your shit is tech dev related, just fucking post it you attention seeking shitstain.
Or fuck off all together from the app to begin with.14 -
Since GoDaddy was calling me frequently to buy domains I've added to my cart, I added another domain
'dontcontactmetobuythisdomain.com'5 -
Met a girl on internet ( because I don't have a real life )
She: So what are you studying?
Me: Currently learning about Deep Learning but I also do freelancing in website development to pay my bills.
She: Okay so tell me what is a COMPUTER
Me: ....
She: ......
Me: umm... it's a... mmm.... actually it's a..... basically a.....
(thinking really hard)
*30 seconds later*
Me: It's an electronic machine
She: seriously? I expected much better from you
Me: I'm sorry!27 -
Sometimes the design decisions of big companies amazes me.
I wanted to contact support of Cloudflare. The only way to submit a new support query is by logging into the account first.
My problem is that I can not log into my account. What a bunch of retards.4 -
While I struggle in vertically aligning to centre,
Someone made a moving bicycle using only css:
https://codepen.io/AlbertFeynman/...18 -
Wtf y'all see shitposting and then you decide to continuously upvote it.
Look retards. Part of being a Computer Scientist, or whatever shit branch you are part in this vast field...is detecting patterns....if you see some dickwad shitposting the same shit over and over or using fucking retarded ass themes, or some jase shit then downvote the shit out of it.
Fuck me.
Someone can make his theme to be just posting ascii penises and you retards would upvote that shit to oblivion.
Stupid ass community.
"THeN lEave" <--- i was prob here before you dickhead....go suck on cock somewhere else.
Damn y'all are fucking idiotic...this what happens when we make retards believe they can be engineers54 -
After lots of complaints I finally decided to attend my CS lecture.
Learnt something new today.
"Another way to open a folder is to select it, and then press Enter"4 -
Fucking retards. They make us submit 3 fully fledged fucking Android apps (with ALL the generated boilerplate crap), all zipped into one fucking folder which cannot exceed 10MB.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, YOU DUNG-EATING PREHISTORIC APE ?! ONE PROJECT ALONE IS 60 MB, HOW IN THE MOTHER-FLIPPING HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FIT 3 OF THOSE INTO 10 MEASLY MEGABYTES?!
Ever heard of git you moth-eating-cactus-fucking pricks?! Time has come to learn it !!! Private repos are a thing, you cocksuckers.
May your bed be infested with bugs and your code riddled with Greek semi-colons. Fucking dimwits.7 -
App idea!
A normal social media app. But everytime a user taps on opposite gender's profile pic, it secretly records his face during that activity and then tweets that recording.
@his/her_username
@username_of_person_he_was_looking_at9 -
// Rant
I can understand that people accidentally commit something sensitive to GitHub, I did it too once, but ...
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU MAKE YOUR MISTAKE WORSE BY MAKING IT SEARCHABLE VIA THE GLORIOUS COMMIT MESSAGE OF "REMOVING PASSWORD"
... seriously just google "git remove password" and there is a step by step guides on how to remove sensitive data from git.
Reference (320,006 free passwords):
https://github.com/search/...9 -
Why is every fucking job posting an “urgent opening”. HR retards in my country just throw “urgent” on the description almost out of habit because in their microscopic brains they believe it improves their chances of getting motivated candidates or some shit like that.
All it fucking does is prove to me that you are incompetent at scheduling recruitment.5 -
I want my '+' to freeze at '+1998'. Because that's when I was born and it would look cool. Please don't ruin it guys..18
-
WHY ARE PEOPLE USING QUORA?? WHY AREN'T WE SWITCHING TO A GOOD ALTERNATIVE ALREADY??
• You can't browse it anonymously, they force you to sign in.
• You can't use it on web browser on phone, they force you to install mobile app.
• They don't let you put description to your questions.
• It's complicated to use and the UI isn't user friendly ( personal opinion )
• If you signed up with Google, Facebook etc.. They'll save your profile pic and won't update it ever.
My profile pic on quora is from 4 years ago and I can't change it yet.9 -
Some people think that in the software industry there is no communication and everyone is glued to their screens doing their work. It really fucking pisses me off.
- We write documentation around our code more than actual code so that we can communicate with other developers better.
- We use version control and pull requests to make sure our work is at the required level and it is approved.
- We invented UML to communicate our technical understanding to less technical people.
- We sometimes have more client meetings than doctors have patients. In which we have deal with clients worse than patients.
- We conduct keynotes and conferences and hackathons to bring together communities.
These are just a few things from the top of my head so next time you think of saying that the IT or software professionals don't have "much" communication you better fucking educate yourself as to what the profession actually is.3 -
So, it has been 2 months and a half since I started working. So far I learned two important things.
1. Clients are fucking retards. Like really fucked up shit. I don't even understand how they got the job.
2. Working for a company is nothing like an internship. I now realize much they treated me like shit during my internship compared to my current job. I did my internship in a startup and I now work in a big multinational company, I feel way more welcome in this company than in the startup
So far I really enjoy my work and I've been learning more for the past 2 months than during my studies.6 -
Every single fucking time I run into problems, the problems are very specific edge cases of common problems.
The search results however, are created by an army of retards, they're a sea of answers to the common problem. They drown out my super specific edge case.
And then someone dares to half-read my stackoverflow question, and immediately mark it as duplicate.
Ugh.6 -
Jesus Christ Reddit really is full of some sensitive ass basement dwelling retards. God forbid someone doesn't contribute to the circle jerk mentality that literally every fucking subreddit has.
I bet SO users spend their free time there.11 -
I dont hate PHP, but I do hate when lazy admins do stupid things.
Why can't the PHP-maintainers do a proper website? Why the fuck can't I subscribe to mailing lists?
Well, it seems like when I do a request, the webserver sends a email with MY EMAIL. And guess what, the listserver REJECTS it because it fails DMARC.
They also refer to the manpage of ezman, but they have disable ALL the functions there too.
What kind of retards is doing that shit. I completely understand why people hate on PHP now.6 -
Indian Product Management community is the shittiest community for any professional domain.
Everyone is just focused on being a guru preaching shit to others when they themselves no nothing about the function or possess any significant skill(s) to perform at their job.
A bunch of bozos, themselves struggling to stay afloat, are saving others. Fucking hilarious.
What makes this worse is that the entire community is so inclined towards "cracking the interview" and landing a job.
Instead what they should be focusing on is teaching them younglings what the role is and how to develop the right skill set. More importantly why the role exist in the first place.
That way, they will automatically land a good gig and solve critical user problems.
No wonder, most products these days are bloated with garbage and PMs are only focused on engagement, retention, and more fancy buzzwords which make absolutely no sense.8 -
* Hit send on email *
* Realize you wrote Retards instead of Regards *
* Shutdown the laptop *
* Book a ticket *
* Move to another country *
* Start a new life *9 -
How clients tend to not understand how much work developing a "simple" or "small" feature can be.
Hey add live chat, that's easy right?2 -
Best thing to do when you're having a bad day:
> Post a video on YouTube telling people that you're developing a machine learning algorithm for drones to identify obstacles.
> Show them a basic HTML code on your computer screen.
> Disable the comments4 -
Oh my God...
A colleague of mine got an email. The email was badly translated into our language (probably Google translate was used) it said 'please open invoice attached'.
The anti-virus software successfully marked it as a virus, and did not allow my colleague to open attached 'invoice.exe' file.
Now by this point you would think that the person would just delete the email, but no. The colleague looked at me, and with the bitchiest voice said 'I got an invoice and can't open it after your anti-virus installation. Fix it!'
Needless to say, I had to explain, what a virus is and teach all the colleagues not to get hooked on scam mail... Took about 4 hours to explain this seemingly simple concept.
Fuck knows, how they did not nuke their IT infrastructure before I came here :/11 -
Those jQuery fuckers spam their shit into every damn article or video. Why do you retards even use it in 2018? JavaScript has evolved and can do all the useless shit jQuery does in an equal style.
I hate to see modern front-end tutorials using this useless ugly tool.27 -
Whatsapp: "How about you update your browser?"
How about you fire your whole fucking team of genetically engineered super-retards, that is making whatsapp shittier with ever recently rotten braincell you guys claim to have, and just let me use your shitty spyware I need to use for the time being. Fucking hell don't you even dare pulling that bullshit excuse on me when my browser is based on chromium Aka the fucking same browser engine that is powering google chrome. Just for once stop playing along with google, take your update and put it where the sun doesn't shine, you data-whoring deadshits.
8 -
3 in 1
---
If your project needs more than three sentences to describe and the budget is not in the high four digits or preferably five, then you're clearly not fucking paying enough
---
Clients that just write a "?" after you wrote a very detailed tutorial, which even a fucking skunk could do, if given a fucking mouse and keyboard, are just the fucking laboratory perfection made retards
---
I just LOVE IT when my internet drops out for under a minute, so windows doesn't notify you yet and your sftp client trashes both local and remote files -
GRANDPAFUCKING RETARDS!
I HOPE YOU ALL DIE ON SOME ELEPHANT DICKS TURNED AROUND YOUR HEADS WHILE GETTING RAPED BY THOUSANDS OF GIRAFFES (EACH OF THEM BEING SO HORNY THAT THEY ALSO COULD FUCK YOUR WIFE AT THE SAME TIME!)
THEY ASK ME A FUCKING QUESTION AND ONLY GIVE ME THE OPTION TO AGREE ON THE COOKIE POP-UP TO ENTER THE WEBSITE! YOU DIPSHITS!
YOU SISTERFUCKING ASSHOLES!
WELL... I FUCKING CLICKED "AGREE" AND WHEN I FINALLY FOUND THE PRIVACY CENTER (LOL) THE SAME FUCKING POP-UP DID APPEAR!
HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING FUCK YOURSELF, DISTROWATCH?!
Btw. they really still use tables instead of proper css styling.
DO WE LIVE IN THE FUCKING STONE AGE?!
10 -
Retards at /r/pcmasterrace are laughing at this dialogue. Kind of shows how many of those people actually knows about PC.
3 -
I’m an admin of a Facebook page for a small business whose website I built (I don’t personally do anything on the page, I just have admin rights :p). The location is clearly listed on the page, you just have to scroll down a bit on Facebook to see it, just like on every other Facebook page. There is also a link to the website that contains the location. Yet, EVERY WEEK, we get at least one person who sends us a message on Facebook: “where are you located?” Somehow they managed to turn on a computer, sign into Facebook and open a conversation dialog... but to scroll down a bit or visit our website to see the full location is not within their mental capacity. WTF3
-
> turning the whole codebase into a muddy ball of dirt because the leader didn't like 1 (one) call to an async function on startup
Way to go buddy, you sure show them how it's done. -
I really want this whole industry to die. I want it to happen from the bottom of my soul!
Their whole job ad was about web technologies where they were asking for a 7-10 years Symfony developer.
One would think being a programmer for 10 years should superseed your shitty LLM prompt crafting requirements.
Truly, there never was a better time for global EMP to happen..
16 -
Today I was having conversation with my friend about time consumed in fixing errors. Our non coder friend was silently listening to us.
After we finished our lunch he stood up and said,
"You guys don't know how to handle time with efficiency. Why don't you ignore all the errors, finish your coding and fix all the errors in the end. It will save a lot of time"5 -
just remembered watching a video where a little shit wannabe programmer was interviewed by another shit wannabe it professional "hacker" and the first shit claimed he designed a new language that is better with a compiler 10 times faster and better than gcc when he demonstrated his language it was nothing but a header file with couple of define statements for different C function.
and this dude was in the news and was glorified by people and shit
#justturdworldstuff
I'm glad i left "my" country3 -
Everytime you see a newbie developer, please tell him to stop making jokes on hacking nasa with html3
-
What the fuck is up with this fucking tour bus company called Akdeniz?
These fucking retards want me to login to instagram etc. to get wifi access. Like wtf. Is not my 30 TL not enough?
Are you really going to save my login data for a few TL? Why would you dipshit people want me to login with my social media account (besides of that I do not even have an Instagram account. Miss me with that gay shit.)
I do not have a fucking fuckbook and a twittermyass.
I hope y'all fucking die by sucking my long ass dick, incompetent braindeads!
8 -
Being Honest,
I never had any problem with Google tracking my activities. I love their services and I feel like they're using my data to really serve me better.
But I do have problems with Amazon and Facebook.
Amazon keeps disturbing me with their annoying ads recommending things I've already purchased.
Using Facebook on the other hand is like standing nude in public.18 -
me vs marketing guy, again
me: yeah, the database server is not responding, so you cannot log in to post your blog, wait for it to get online.
MG: But, the website is online.
me: web host and database server are two distinct things, they are not the same, *share a screenshot of the error*
MG: Oh okay.
Literally 3 hours later this fucking idiot sends an email and I quote.
"Hi Dev,
@CTO FYI, Someone has removed this code So there is some tracking issue on it.
Please add below google analytics code on the website.
Note: Copy and paste this code as the first item into the <HEAD> of every web page that you want to track. If you already have a Global Site Tag on your page, simply add the config line from the snippet below to your existing Global Site Tag.
<!-- Global site tag (gtag.js) - Google Analytics -->
<script async src="https://googletagmanager.com/gtag/..."></script>
<script>
window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || [];
function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);}
gtag('js', new Date());
gtag('config', 'UA-xxxxxxxx-1');
</script>
"
The fucking issue was of him not being able to post his shitty blog, and he shares an email like this, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!2 -
Wow thanks play music for the handy navigation shortcut. Now I can hear the previous songs again and again! 😑
1 -
Missing those days when videos about latest technology had a meaningful comment section. Now it's 'pewdiepie vs tseries' everywhere.4
-
WTF is wrong with these Govt websites...!!!
Trying to login
"Password is incorrect"
Clicked on reset password,
Now guess what happened next...
They said,
.
ENTER YOUR CURRENT PASSWORD!!!1 -
Broke down and asked the junior dev to help me hash out an issue. He's also struggling with it.
I'm not a retard after all... unless were both retards.1 -
!dev but devRant has become "not dev" sadly.
Time to say bye to the racist kindergarden it has become!
How many more outdated country clichés can they possible come up with? "Thick Indian accent", "hard-working Nazi Germans" bla bla bla ...
If you're not interested in dev anymore why don't you join the European Parliament or a local pub where you can discuss your "ethnic" bullshit with other right-wing retards dreaming of remigration. Fuck you idiots, seriously!
/me logs off.7 -
Four freaking crypto recovery ads on this platform today. They do spend effort in it, still it's full of typos. So retards that work hard? What would the scam be? I'm very interested if those guys actually make money4
-
"Kotlin, why the fuck would you want to introduce a better language for Android studio and still base it entirely on jvm, fuck you jetBrains and Google, you java dick sucking retards. "
LOL6 -
Hiring is a complete BS. A combination of 4 hours in total interview + 7 day worth of assignment for a senior role. Stop giving them this immense power to push people around for free.
Most of this BS is run by leftist douchebags looking to just fill in diversity gender gap. Fucking bunch of retards and a waste of time.16 -
My Gear S3's charger all of a sudden decided not to stop full charge when the watch was at 100%, so I came home to a watch that was flaming hot and going crazy with error messages that it's overheated, battery going down WHILE charging.
Tried it a few more times, never stops at 100% anymore
Samsung you fucking retards, thanks for trying to burn my house down (again)4 -
Many of them. Can't decide which one is the biggest.
- when the asshole in front of me picks up a call and is loud as hell. Wanna kick his nuts.
- Chats. Hangouts. Whatsapp. Just name it.
- retards who don't know how to google something or even worse..what to google and come straight to me to get a solution.
- My own fucking head at times. You start talking about space tech and i'll have to jump into it. And i end up wasting half an hour.1 -
Fucking exam on Electronic Building Blocks... (aka Arduino). Program this thing ON GODFORGOTTEN PAPER! And then these retards put in that assignment line: max 5 lines of code, for a function that does nothing more than divide two shit eating numbers! And half of my apparently vegetative class fails this! When you were allowed to use your book and notes!
Oh and also, here's a seemingly pissed over image of an arduino with some peripherals, draw the wires. Draw! How the fuck do I keep 21 cocksuffocating wires on a page without overlaps or unclarity? -
I'm feeling empty. All my friends and roomates went home. But I stayed in hostel. I haven't touched my laptop from last 3 days. I'm just lying on bed staring at ceiling. I'm not even in a relationship, so I call my mother everyday to get the feeling of being loved.
This quarantine is strange. First few days I spent my time playing video games, watching Netflix, laughing at memes. But Now I'm feeling empty. Very strange thoughts are now occupying my mind. I'm sleeping 10+ hrs, and staring at ceiling or outside window most of the time. My room is a mess. Forget washing hands, I don't even feel like standing up to switch on lights.
I'm not saying I feel sad or depressed, I just feel very strange.16 -
Worst: Uni called us back for offline exams in the middle of pandemic despite our attempts of thwarting it.
Best: Thankfully none of the people I know got infected and we got some time together before we graduate.3 -
Our only pretty good and uderpayed graphic designed did not get raise so in few days he found company that offered him 1.5 more as starting wage.. Now we will be left with no designer and half of our project being behind schedule cause of unfinished graphic design.. losing 4x more than was raise that designer asked for...
Srsly there are greedy bosses.. then there are retarded bosses... but when Greedy retards run company it is next level idiocracy4 -
This girl is programming robots and watching them getting failed is the best thing you'll see today.
https://linkedin.com/feed/update/...6 -
Imma jus start callin uhlee niggas who touch me electronics wo/ discharging their static electricity fat fucken retards 🤙5
-
Something that really grinds my gears recently is ”black boxes”. I get a dll to work with, completly without documentation and any desceiptions. An hour later people asks me, ”so hows it going, done yet?”.
No, im not done yet and I probably wont be in any near future you fucking morons, start documenting your fucking software as normal human beings.2 -
So I am driving home and stop at a light. Some dude in a truck behind me starts flipping me off at the light. The road is 45mph and 2 lanes. I am in the right lane. So when the light changes I speed up to 35mph so he can pass me. He decides to tailgate me and honk at me. So I stay steady and he eventually goes around me. I keep my distance. But it looks like he is going to the same place as me. Before I get to the road I want to park for my destination he takes the same road and parks his truck and trailer where I normally park facing the wrong direction. Okay, wtf, but okay. So I go further down the road to turn around and park somewhere else. He guns his truck to cut me off from that parking spot. I have to hit my brakes to prevent hitting him. I raise my hands in the are like "why?" I then finish turning around and head back to my parking spot and park. So this guy tried to cause a car accident. At this point I took my stuff inside and put it away. Came back out and called the police to report the incident. They said they cannot identify a crime, but I can fill out a police report. While I am on the phone with the police this guy leaves that street giving me this bizarre deranged smile. I refuse to engage. I spent the next hour filling out the police report. In the process I find out he lives on that street a few houses down. I am nowhere near his house, but he seems to not like me parking on that street. This guy must have seen my car on that street before and decides to randomly road rage. I gave his name and address to the police. My intent to build a case file if he doesn't knock this shit off.
So now I gotta buy a fucking dash cam and put it in my car because of some nutjob plumber. I have nothing against plumbers, but this guy fits the definition of knuckle dragger. His name isn't even Mario or Luigi, bummer.
Another thing that might be related is that during the winter somebody dumped a ton of snow onto my car when it was parked there. It looked like it was on purpose. If this is the same guy this guy drove his snow plow 4 houses down. Definitely has mental problems.10 -
Intel, wtf kind of drugs is your stupid site on?
Trying to make an account, the password requirement says "at least one special character".
Ok, no problem.
"Password format is invalid"
Wut? Hmm, maybe it doesn't like that one. Let's try one from their suggested ones.
"Password format is invalid"
WTF? The fuck is your problem?!
*reloads the page, tries again*
"Password format is invalid"
ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?
*adds the special at the end of the password instead of the beginning*
It works.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
And then we wonder why bugs like Meltdown and Spectre come up. These guys can't even do fucking password validation properly.
And I've just lost 30 minutes because of this shit.
FUCK! -
Tech management and leadership are the most toxic and cancerous folks of any organisation.
In all my past experience, I have encountered nut jobs.
If it were just me, then entire product or design org won't be suffering. What helps me confirm this hypothesis is every engineer who work for such retards is suffering and fighting for their existence.
We have monkey business going on with our CTO and his ass licking engineering head. -
That annoying situation when your fellow German school comrades and your programming teacher misspell GUI and Hack.
Instead of JEE-YOU-EYE they spell it as if it is a single word "gui". Instead of the normal way of spelling hack, they pronounce the a in the word hack weirdly. Take the pronunciation of Hackfleisch for example. Cut this word into two words. "Hack" and "Fleisch". Keep "Hack" and throw "Fleisch" away.
And there you go. That's how they spell fucking Hack.
If you take an English word or even an abbreviation, let it be fucking English and not German, you fucking retards!30 -
Now that is my rant inside someone else's rant inside my rant. Coincidence is that these screenshots are from our home feed
1 -
Tester has found an issue: controller input stops working when performing certain steps.
Creates a report and provides an attachment.
The attachment depicts some menu where, at first, the cursor moves around various options, then simply stops moving.
The problem:
Since this is a simple in-game recording, there is neither an overlay of the controller w/ a visual representation of the input actually being provided but not working, nor there is a camera recording available where I can see the tester pressing buttons on a controller.
For all I know, the tester put down the controller / stopped pressing buttons.
...I've also seen reports of animations not working... w/ fucking screenshots attached.
How the fuck can you see something not being animated in a fucking static picture?4 -
* Gets handed additions to current software platform (web)
* Gives back estimte of time after meeting with everyone and making them understand that once the testing phase of the project is reached there will be no changes, tests should be exhaustive and focus on SAID FUNCTIONALITY of the new additions. NO CHANGES OR ADDITIONS AT THIS POINT IN TIME
* All directives, stakeholders, users etc agreed on my request and spend an additional hour thinking of different corner and edge cases as provided by me in case they can't think of them (they can't, because they are fucking stupid, but I provided everything)
* Boss looks irritated at their lack of understanding of the scope and the time needed, nods in approval after he sees my entire specification, testing cases, possible additions to the system etc
* All members of the committee decide on the requirements being correct, concrete and proper.
* Finish the additions in a couple of weeks due to the increased demand for other projects, this directly affects the user base, so my VP and Director make it a top priority, I agree with their sentiment, since my Director knows what he is doing (real OG)
* I make the changes, test inside of my department and then stage for the testing environment. Everything is ready, all migrations are in order, the functionality is working as proper and the pipeline for the project, albeit somewhat lacking in elegance is good to go.
* Testing days arrive
* First couple of hours of test: Oh, you know what, we should add these two additional fields, and it would be good if the reporting generated by the system would contain this OTHER FORMAT rather than this one.
* ME: We stated that no additions would be done during the testing environment, testing is for functionality, not to see if you can all think of something else, even then, on June 10 I provided a initial demo and no one bothered to check on it on say something.
Them: Well, we are doing it now, this is what testing is for.
Me: Out of this room, the software engineer is me, and I can assure you, testing is not for that. I repeatedly stated that previously, I set the requirements, added corner cases, tables charts everything and not one single one of you decided to pay attention or add something, actually, said functionality you are requesting was part of one of my detailed list of corner cases, why did you not add it there and then before everything went up?
Them: Well I didn't read it at the time (think of the I in plural form since all of these dumb fucks stated the same)
Then my boss went on a rampage on their dumbasses.
I fucking hate software development sometimes.
Oh well. Bunch of fucking retards.4 -
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU FUCKING RETARDS USE TWO DIFFERENT AUTHENTICATION METHODS FOR THE PAYMENT AND THE CHECKOUT API AND DON'T EVEN DOCUMENT THIS SHIT PROPERLY!! 🖕2
-
If you believe in God then you should afraid of AI. Because things you create doesn't mean it won't destroy your other creations.3
-
Bruh, imagine paying taxes for a site that literally throws a cryptic error message, instead of telling you "Page not found", because those retards literally redirect to /Account/Login after successfully logging in.
Even better, most people here are don't understand English well enough to understand what is going on.
And I pretty much doubt an admin has been informed...
3 -
Indian housing market literally exploits bachelors who look to take a house on rent. Motherfucking retards!9
-
Blue-Light Filters be like:
"Let's spread unhealthy urine all over their screen. Their eyes loves this shit" -
I fucking hate those cringy Indians commenting dogshit on almost every youtube video. Never have I even seen anyone more dumb than these retards. Almost every programming tutorial on youtube is infested with "plese sir pls teach me hw to hck i wnt to be a hckr" and "sir my phone no is xxxx and my email id is xxxx send me the cod plz". I mean even on css tutorial videos? seriously? No other third world country has such boneheads. I just hope each and every retard like this drops dead the moment they write stuff like this.14
-
came to the pub for some peice and quiet to read my book and this fucking dumbass boomer is sneezing every fucking goddamn second dude fucking fuck off god just eject me into space what the fuck is wrong with these FUCKING retards jesus christ5
-
You might be the best web developer out there, you might've worked on tons of frameworks seamlessly. But the feeling of changing <title> of a website feels powerful.
-
INFO/WARNING: Some HP audio drivers for certain HP laptops have "integrated keyloggers" enabled. The audio driver would log your keystrokes to look for special keys and saves them to a public folder on your PC (Windows).
I really wonder what kind of total retards decide to implenent features in this way.
https://bleepingcomputer.com/news/... -
So I was glad that I finally completed the project for my bachelor's degree after fixing random bugs.
Here came this shocking news which left me stunned.
Some other batch bought a similar project from a project centre(lifeline for noobs to pass university project by buying projects made by someone else).
Head of the Department sent me a message that the project done by my team(95%me) is rejected as the other batch also has a similar project. He's aware that they bought it from a project centre. He's defending them that their money would go in vain as they bought it already.
I was like WTF!! Srsly? Do you even know what it takes to make a project functional? I've no idea what I'm going to do now.
#doublestandards14 -
My uncle was right, I should've gone for hotel management instead of being computer nerd.
My bartender friends think I'm more successful than them, but guess who's Virgin in his twenties and fixing bugs on a friday night..11 -
The kind of testers I'm dealing w/ right now:
Until fairly recently, they thought it was a good idea to keep retesting stale && untouched bug reports to see whether an issue is still present, then leave a comment.
Imagine being assigned as a watcher to a report, but keep seeing comments made by testers akin to:
- version 1: issue is still present.
- version 2: issue is still present.
- version 3: issue is still present.
- version 4: issue is still present.
Which was true for some 90-95% of the cases.
How retarded does a person have to be to think that this is a good idea?
I say it's a great way to piss somebody off.
Reminds me of movies w/ scenes where there is this annoying brat in the back seat of a car asking 'Are we there, yet?' over && over again.
Once a report is up, just be fucking patient && wait until someone replies!8 -
OMG! What are you doing guys, the ultimate offer is here by Godaddy. Now I can afford food and domain at the same time, thanks Godaddy!
5 -
Actors/Use cases and analysis modeling approaches as a whole are for retards that require pictures for everything they do.
Designing this shit is time consuming and should be delegated to simple board drawing rather than full featured software that can develop this monumental waste of time.
Change my mind5 -
Can anyone please suggest me a good strategy game for android or desktop. A game which force me to think.9
-
Whenever I feel like searching for a freelancing job in python, I feel like I don't know anything and stop contacting the person who wants to hopefully - since there are retards who don't pay - pay for it.
Fucking impostor syndrome.2 -
This is neither international nor Indian number system. Why no one made GoDaddy realise this stupid mistake yet
5 -
So a client came today to me saying his domain that I setup some time ago isn't working on a specific russian internet provider, checked everything and then came across a blogpost stating cloudflare IPs are blocked. Researched further and it came out that those fucking retards from the "Federal Tax Service of the Russian" blocked a ton of cloudflare IPs because russian online casinos used them like a year ago.
Then checked another domain he had a problem with and the godaddy IPs were also banned - even more extreme they were banned for like 14 incidents, what the fuck, had to create a new account to get a new ip/nameservers assigned from cloudflare, jesus fucking christ.1 -
I really don't know what to do with those projects which I started confidently but then left when it was about to finish because I lost motivation3
-
"This is the last warning I'm giving you, don't you dare to talk to my gf"
"But I only listen to errors" -
Hey game developers out there, I'm going to publish my own game for the first time on play store. Any idea how do I get users to play my game? What are some cheap and good tricks to advertise?13
-
Two sites I visit the most now are devRant and Dev.to.
Sites I don’t visit anymore because of obvious reasons:
1. StackOverflow (bunch of pompous retards who think they know the answers to life and 1 + 1 = 2.
2. Programming subreddit (pretty much boring now tbh)
What other places do you fine people visit when not angry with your bosses or the rest of the world that isn’t the devRant community?2 -
Hey Game Developers,
I know this is the worst place to ask this question but still...
Is it possible that a game developer will make an online multiplayer game at a really low budget for me?
If yes then where can I find them?17 -
Maybe I'm biased but is every person in my country who calls themselves a "devops engineer" a retard who knows nothing about devops and was hired by a bunch of retards or is it just the ones I'm blessed to cross paths with?5
-
Aam I late or you guys too didn't knew about playemulator.com
I spent whole night refreshing old memories1 -
Client: How many days do you need for this project
Me: 6 months
Client: That's too much. I researched and found that it shouldn't consume more than 3 months
Me: I'm sure you didn't researched on gradle building process (-_-) -
Just saw my teacher clicking 100 times on the arrow button under scroll bar to get to the end of a web page.
Aliens Confirmed -
What's the point of doing estimates per quarter if you are gonna change the estimates to projects that are being worked on to match the release date?
Also doing estimates per quarter before doing investigations on the requirements is a fucking shit way to do estimates. Arguably doing it per quarter is also trash.
We are not doing hardware design for fuck sake, we work on software, you bunch of retards.4 -
So until now the default env var User directory paths for Windows were all located under %userProfile%. To my surprise:
cd %userProfile%\Desktop
no longer works. Indeed, when you are even just signed in to OneDrive (which is the default, even if you disabled backups!), these retards decided it was a good idea to move all the standard library folders one level up to %userProfile%\OneDrive\ instead.
And the worst is that the locations continue to be swapped when you enable/ disable OneDrive.. WTF Microsoft7 -
Me: *ask well detailed questions around Ruby on Rails and responses in JSON that won't fucking work because I don't know how to make it work my way*
Someone : *Answers*
Me: *tests the solution. Nothing works, his ruby syntax is from 1995, and it doesn't help me
Me: "Sorry but there's a syntax error in your answer, I don't know how to make your answer work. Plus, how should I edit my json.jbuilder file with your answer?
Dude: " I am not a RoR developer by trade, I just know how HTTP works :)"
WE ARE BOTH FUCKING LOOSING TIME HERE YOU FUCKING MORON
Same dude: " I don't see any of that in your code and I'm not sure what you want to edit? Seems to me like you don't really need to, but I'm not sure"
YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING ROR DEVELOPER, YOU SAID IT YOURSELF, SO WHY DO YOU KEEP BOTHERING?
(n.b. : I litteraly pasted his two last answer. Didn't edit anything) -
https://cnbc.com/2018/02/...
Why a trillion dollar company is dependent on someone else's data centres?4 -
I had a compile error that I was missing a com reference. But on the pc of a colleague it compiled fine.
It was something from vlc, so I reinstalled vlc.
2 seconds after that my virus scan started shouting, alert, activeX element detected, removing.....
Which water buffalocock sucking piece of diarrhea stained retard (sorry for the retards I love you all a huggy bunch and you deserve better)
Uses an activeX element which even a virus scan can identify as completely unsafe -
I used to think that I can understand things and logics behind them preety well, until I came to knew that ByteDance ( parent company of tiktok and vigo video ) is more valued than Uber.
Seriously, this is the first time I'm seeing a company which serves entertainment is above than the company which is solving legit global problem.4 -
Hey Game developers,
I'm making a roulette game for a client. He wants that the motion of ball in wheel should look completely random but it should fall into desired number i.e. the outcome of roulette wheel should be predetermined, not random. Any idea how do I do that?8 -
LoL wtf
https://www.kpit.com
This website have a speaker icon on it's logo. It speaks 'Welcome to kpit' when you click on it6 -
I WAKE FUCKING UP TO COME TO DISTRO TUBE AND ETHICAL LICENSING RETARDS WANT TO FUCKING INFECT OPENSOURCE THIS IS MORE AUTISTIC THAN ME AND I AM ACTUALLY FUCKING AUTISTIC
https://youtube.com/watch/...6 -
Just uploaded my first practice project on GitHub. It is an AI based flower identifier. Any advice or guidance is extremely needed. I want to become good in training neural networks. Please provide feedback! Thanks.
https://github.com/Jatin287587/...8 -
I'm confused about this.
Is it possible to develop a programming language using non English language like Hindi, Arabic, Japanese etc..11 -
I am really frustrated and angry when my friends only think that web development is easy you just do everything in bootstrap thats it, but really not all web apps are made in bootstrap, i make mine using css media query and thats hard to set everything manually, im so pissed that they take my job for granted and they cant even right a single decent php function , ignorant retards4
-
Almost all people who are unfamiliar with modern websites don't know that they don't need to 'allow notifications' to access a website's content.
My parent's phone is always showing 99+ notification.
We need to do something about this, we're responsible.4 -
Can anyone please tell me what does this actually mean?
https://opensource.apple.com/
I'm literally asking..5 -
These fucking deepshet, spoiled retards
they expert me to build software not from the ground but from the fucking foundation up to release date all by myself
they also expert me to do all required research
also expert me to do the fucking marketing
they expert me to bring new fucking business
They expert me to work at High performance
They expert me to do stock inventory as well
They fucking sit me in shity meetings
WHAT THA FUCK IS THIS SHIT -
Discus always before how much ur client have to pay! Worked round 3hrs each day on a range of 6 weeks (6d each week) on a gameproject. After i did my work i requested my money - all i got were 50€! Just fifty fucking euros for so many time! Good that the retards never got it launched because my client (is even a dev) never finished his work or whatever.
PS: Didnt got paid in BTC 🤐
PPS: it was about 2,5yrs ago 😎 -
Fuck you google for changing the filters in the chrome console. Before I could ignore warnings if they were fixed by another teammate in a diff branch. Now I have to go over 20 fucking lines of missing exports from a common lib file, which has 0 impact on my current work, because google decided to treat devs as retards.
If you dont know:
Before I could pick whichever outout I want (log, debug, warnings etc), and now I can only use "verbose", "info", "warnings" and "errors" 😡 -
(Question/0.5Rant)
So I am working on a mixed API (aka reachable from anywhere, but also only accessible by specific allowed devices) and I am struggling with the security of it, its not managing anything hardcore (this API is "is the coffe ready?" kind of level) or I would have just enforced per device registration for example already, but the app that goes with that API is deployed remotely and has to be "ready to go!!!" out of the box, so I can't add any registration, verifications of devices etc.
The main thing I am afraid of is, that one of those agent retards will get his spaghetti phone blasted from the inside, so all the https calls will be read out by some random attacker, which then will be able to "abuse" the API via read out api-key, is there any way for me to have a rescue plan if one of those retards does get hacked and the system then get spammed or something, like if I log all devices that use the API I could just deny access from that device (until resolved) and issue a new app update via new api key.
What's the best way of handling this and is my idea really the only way to handle this? this shitfest is really causing shit ton of ideas in my head, which then I deny literally 20 seconds later, because there's a way to bypass it or once you have the old api key to get a new one by just monitoring it etc.5 -
wow Xfinity just wow.... how retarded can you be... I ordered the "self install kit" which the person on the phone said included a modem, a router, and the cables to hook everything up... the package came, and it's just the cables. no modem. no router. just wow.
-
Why the fuck do I have to complete situational strength tests related to commercial shit when I'm applying for a Software Developer role? What the fuck is up with companies nowadays? This is why it's a good idea to be your own boss and either do freelance or make your own brand, because these interviewers know jack shit about technology and software and you cannot express your passion nor your knowledge. I'm sick of how bad the employment process is for software developers who are looking for jobs after graduation.
-
Whenever I'm trying to get something done urgently suddenly something wrong happens. And then a chain of 'something wrong' starts. It doesn't matter how many different ways I try, there's always something wrong waiting for me on the way.
And when I try to fix 'something wrong', something else wrong happens.
I feel like this whole universe, each and every atom in this galaxy is trying to fuck me up.3 -
So Google create inbox, a pretty good email client with nice interface and features, it works really well and has people using it. Why the fuck they decide to close a working thing? Gmail is a big piece of shit, the interface is awful, can't group mails correctly and lacks a lot of inbox functions.
They can't at least give you an inbox-like Gmail view?4 -
So hey would you people still want to use rust if we turned it's name into something like Shine ?
Just curious since that initially seemed to be the main attraction to retards in your collective age groups.
Continuing the tried and true practice of trying to sneak their perverse bs into good ideas.
Or entertaining themes30 -
So I got a client and he says that he have issues with his bank account paying online. So he'll only pay thru cheques.
Client is American and I'm Indian. Any idea what should we do?15 -
I love watching how all these retards who were laughing from people who took the virus seriously from the start turn into the same ones they made fun of and thinking they are the smartest and best. Fucking proud of you all, thank you for doing such a service for all of humanity. Or people who think they "can't" get sick so they endanger the others. Why are people so stupid and they wake up only if it is already too late? Is it so fucking hard to stay at home? To not go skiing? To not be selfish and sit on your fucking arse at home? Fuck!
-
We should bring back the death sentence by hanging for those fucking retards who show their software update notifications as fucking popups after I start the program. No, notepad++, I don't give a fuck about your update. Fuck you FileZilla, I'm on a hurry, stop shoving your almost full screen update window in my face. Oh and the visual studio installer. Don't even get me started on the visual studio installer.
Would it be too difficult to show the update notification on the bottom of the window on the status bar? Maybe with a higher contrast color so it's more noticeable?9 -
Just finished my finals.
Had to run k-means with pen and paper only. I find this kind of question stupid but why not. BUT WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CHOSE SOME INITIALIZATION THAT TAKES 13(!!!!) FUCKING ITERATIONS TO CONVERGE ? Just in case my first 12 iterations are correct by chance ? Guess what, you fucktard, I GOT IT.
And doing the same calculus by hand 13 FUCKING TIMES is moronic as hell, you retarded piece of shit ! When you train your neural networks, do you also backpropagate your gradient all by yourself, mongoloid baboon? Getting sick of those stupid assignements1 -
Why do you fucking retards make the tinyint column nullable AGAIN and use 'null' as false instead of setting fucking false!
-
I want to build a community where people can create LLM agents (custom function calling, API calling, response formats, computer use, etc..) and publish them. Then other people can use those agents to work together to create complex workflows for specific tasks.
These workflows can either work on the website itself or you can docker pull the image and run them on your own machine.
Do you think it's just a fancy idea or something that can actually pull off?16 -
Okay so I was ignoring Windows 10 update from past few days. Today I turned on my PC and it's saying
Deleting your data
33% complete
Don't turn off -
Oh thank god I can store the updates for fedora 35 until I leave an area populated by weirdo retards who will react to it being installed at least for as long as their scripted responses last !2
-
Imagine you're a dude chilling in Eupen in 1914 and suddenly the germanist army starts to bomb you because a guy got shot in sarajevo and france is friend with russia.
You have a border with france, retards, go attack them4 -
If you are one one the retards who has/would buy a fjall raven bag, please throw yourself in front of a moving train. Thanks.4
-
Funny conversation I overheard while buying groceries ..
Person 1: why is it, programmers always seem so sad, negative.. Depressed?
Person 2: well, the less you know the happier you go.
Take a look at retards.
Person 1: sigh. I want to be happy.
Person 2: Remove your lust and you're left with happy.
Person 1: wut?
Person 2: look at that retard over there, shouting happy by itself.
Person 1: I see. But how would I apply it.
Person 2: well, I don't think shouting like that retard requires much application.
Person 3(me): don't worry, be happy. -
So I picked up an interesting project to work on. Visit https://minilancer.in to check LIVE stats of coronavirus cases worldwide. I'm using coronavirus API from rapid api
-
Remember way back when when most people lived their lives and the country had not finished being categorized idiotically, supposedly it is now anyway, and people had conversations? And new things happened? And people like me had no clue what the trashy retards around them were doing ? So much happier.
As in there were different stresses and worries
Then there was that brief time things were organized as they should be and traffic was light and people were healthier?
Didn't hear so much obnoxious coughing then1 -
Help please!
Despite having good speed, any website/app on my phone (other than Google, Youtube, Gmail, Instagram etc..) are either not opening or loading very slow.
Due to this I can't get my work done because I use my phone's internet to work on laptop.
Can't find any solution online because most people are giving solution for desktop and wifi router.
This happened after I changed my ISP. Previous ISP was working fine and now I'm regretting it.5 -
I was scrolling through my past rants and found this gem
https://devrant.com/rants/2305697/...
I posted it when images were not loading due to expired ssl. Looks like everyone who saw this got tricked!! -
There are people who develop Neural Networks/Deep Learning Models/AI based Softwares.
Does anybody know what do we call them? Is it okay to call all of them Machine Learning Engineer/AI researcher/AI engineer?
If I'm looking for someone who can make AI based program for me. Whom should I be looking for on freelancer or LinkedIn?1 -
I just want to scream at these retards
A decade apart and their simple stupid asses are still smiling brainlessly about doing the same thing playing their stupid weird code crap over and over
LabotomiZed crazy fucking garbage !!
Until they showed up in this state no two days were the same now all of them are because they’re not alive
They’re not human
And they’re not relevant
They are happy tucked up slaves that liars use to manipulate everyone through their brainless smiling doopty doo bull shit !2 -
You know I remember a time when they didn't make everything .ore difficult than it needed to be because well whoever they used to be they weren't fucking retards and the country didn't organize things in terms of how stupid people were1
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