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Boss: “Do you think you can work on Saturday? We really need the help.”
Me: “Yes, of course.”
Boss: “Great, thank you.”
Me: “I’ll probably be late, though, as public transport is slow on the weekends.”
Boss: “Okay, when do you think you will be at the office?”
Me: “Monday”.17 -
Her: Hey, just heard what John did to you.
Me: Yea. I can't believe he screwed me over like that. I thought he was my friend.
Her: Don't worry. Forget about the bustard. You know #FFF
Me: 🙁 #FFF? What does white got to do with all this.
Her: What???
Me: #FFF. This is white.
Her: Nooooo. It means Fuck Fake Friends. As in the G. Eazy song.
Me: Ohhh😐23 -
So this fucking happened today.
Me: *sees support ticket coming in about some kind of login issue*
Me: *opens issue*
"Hello, I can't seem to login. There's an error"
Me: *sighs and thinks "at least give me that FUCKING error message then." *kindly replies with asking if they could send me the error message*
"Here it is. I don't understand what is going wrong
and what I have to do"
Me: *looks at error message*
"Invalid customer ID. Please make sure that your ID is correct. You can find it in the activation email we sent you when you registered".
😐 😶 😦
Me: *thinking okay what the fuck, are you fucking retarded or something?*
Me: *kindly replies: "It seems that you are not using the correct customer ID. You might want to look for it in the activation email we sent you!"*
"Oh okay thanks, how did you figure that out?"
Me: 😵 😐 😶 😭 🔫
Seriously what the actual fucking fuck.27 -
If I have headphones in
and I'm intentionally away from everyone
and it looks like I'm working
and you want to talk to me
Here's some advice:
DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME.
If you're curious why, I've compiled a list of points:
1) DON'T
2) FUCKING
3) TALK
4) TO
5) ME
Also, see Fig. 1 below:
(Fig. 1)
| DONT
| FUCKING
|
| TALK
| TO
|
| ME
---------------------------------------
Don't fucking talk to me!26 -
I had to go help marketing with a website UI issue today:
Me: What version of IE are you using?
Her: Oh my god! Did you say virgin?
Me: No, "Version".
Her: Hahaha you guys I thought he asked what virgin am I using!
*room erupts into laughter*
WTF is this high school?12 -
Me greeting a female friend with a joke: Hey baby, wanna play with my python?
Her: Only if it's well commented and production ready.
Me: I love you.
Her: I know.4 -
Sitting on the bus updating my system.
Random girl: What are you using?
Me: Linux :).
Random girl: Ohh I use Mac, because that doesn't have viruses and can't get hacked!
*me waiting for a cliff to jump off*36 -
I need new friends.
Me: Just Google it..
Friend:
Opens browser (home page is some ad-riddled crap)
Types "Google" in address bar
(Google search page opens)
Clicks first result (google.com)
Types search query.
Me: 😶🔫10 -
So this happened today.
Client: hey I sent this ticket, what's the status/have you located the issue?
Me: well, it says it quite obviously in the error message...? (i actually said that, toned down afterwards a little)
Client: where's the error message then?
Me: 5th line....? It's literally there in plain english?
Client: ok so what does it mean?
Me:..............? "marked as spam by the receiving server"?!
Client: yeah ok but what does that mean?
😐
Thing to keep in mind: they're a web dev/email solutions company.
😐😩9 -
Similarities between this spider and me:
- We both are web developers
- We both live in same room
- We both try to find bugs everyday
11 -
my_girlfriend: who do you like more in your life?
me: linux
my_girlfriend: What????
me: you asked who i LIKE not Who i LOVE?
my_girlfriend: ok, who do you LOVE?
me: python
i dont know why she left me, i think she was php fan18 -
Am I the only one that will have my headphones on (without music) just so people will not bother me?19
-
Today I had a reflection with an client and they surprised me with a present. They wanted to thank me for the hard work and effort I made.
Wauw! It just keeps me motivating to work hard and keep my clients happy!
4 -
Part of my job involves speaking with users on the phone and I really don’t mind it except for THESE PEOPLE:
Me: Hi! XYZ Co. this is Tawzer!
Them: Hi Tawzer this is blah blah I need help with the website I just can’t figure it out!
Me: Okay! Let me ju-
Them: Yeah you know I’ve been struggling for hours with it I really don’t have time for this.
Me: Oh I imagine! What’s your-
Them: Well I was gonna try and get everything done today by 3 but with all of this tech stuff going wrong I just don’t know...
Me: That sounds frustrating, can i get your-
Them: Is this going to take long??
Me: Nope! I just need to know your-
Them: like I said I just really don’t have time for this!
Me: ........ What’s your-
Them: well I-
Me: WHAT’S YOUR USERNAME
Them: Uh I don’t know can you look me up? I didn’t know I’d need that.
Me: 👩🏻💻10 -
*casually programming stuff*
*Sudden need to open cmd arises*
Me: *opens cmd and starts typing, when it hits me*
"Fuck"
Friend: "what happended?"
Me: "i forgot to turn on hackermode"
*enters "color 0a"*
"Better"
Friend: *chuckles angerly*6 -
Css is most definitely a woman who's mad at you but won't tell you why.
"What's wrong? what did I do? "
"Nothing..."8 -
Sister: "Can you fix my computer?"
Me: "What's wrong?"
S: *explains the issue
Me: *types that into Google and shows her the search results
S: *gives me the look
M: "This is seriously what I do to fix a lot of my problems 🧚"18 -
Me: “I’m gonna rebuild this site from the ground up.”
Also me, 5 minutes into it: “Can’t figure out this stupid CSS thing I need to do. Gonna take a quick break.”
Also also me, looking at it 5 days later:
5 -
Programmer boyfriend says he misses me, wants to talk to me and wants us to video call.
He codes on camera instead of talking with me. 😂10 -
You say they are looking for me, but when i contact them they pretend like they dont even know me.
5 -
Every time I hear a developer say "works for me", I'm gonna hide a service of mine that they use behind the VPN.
Dev: "oy mate, this server is down"
Me (with VPN connection): "sorry mate, works for me"
Dev: "but here, check this out, it's down!!"
Me: "mate, check your network connection. You must have a shitty network connection."
Dev: -_-
Me: "Maybe shitty hardware? Driver issues on your network card? 🤭"
Because you know, we sysadmins can do that too 😉26 -
one of our computers at work suddenly shut down. our boss panicked like it was the end of the world cause he knew we couldnt buy a new one and we desperately need the computer. when i came in he started telling me he's gonna pay me extra if i fix the computer
me: *checks cpu and finds out it was unplugged* u sure bout that?
him: hell yea, id rather pay u that buy a new one
*30 mins later*
me: *plugs it back in and pushes power button* its done
>> guess who's got extra money without any extra efforts yay11 -
Them: “We want parallax on our website on mobile!”
Me: “Parallax does not work in a mobile web browser.”
Them: “But it does here!” Shows me an iOS app that does parallax.
Me: “That’s in an iOS app. Not a mobile web browser”.
Them: “ Oh well. I’m sure you’ll figure it out!”
😐😐😐😐😐.
Welp.23 -
First day on the phone as a support guy!
Before the first call came in I thought like 'please no email related issues as that's the one thing I suck at!'
Fair enough, first call:
Me: hello, how can I help you?
Customer: well, we've got this email problem...
Me thinking: MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUCK WHY ME 😭
Me: what seems to be the problem?
Damn, really?!9 -
Relatives: What does he do as a job?
Mom: He's an informatician, he tinkers with computers
Me: No, I'm a programmer.
Relatives: Is it computer related?
Me: Yes, but..
Relative: Sounds like an informatician to me.
I'm so tempted to say that I butcher animals, but I'm afraid they'll think I'm a veterinarian.11 -
!rant
About to attend a hackathon with free food and beverages - including alcohol.
And I can't get this xkcd with the ballmer peaking out of my head.
I sincerely hope it won't get as bad as ME...
2 -
I use different variations of the same password. Everywhere.
It's worked out good so far but I can see it all crashing down on me at some point.8 -
Client: "Hey we want you to integrate your product with our system."
Me: "Oh, OK. Where's your API?"
Client: "Here! We even have an outdated .Net SDK, we use XML."
Me: "Ok.. how do we authenticate? What's your OAuth 2.0 endpoint?"
Client: "O auth what?"
Me: " You know, the current standard for REST API authentication and authorisation"
Client: " What's REST?"
*Hungs up*8 -
Me and a junior coder are working on a project. However, he likes to think he's funny and say "Ok google" to stop me from using my phone.
He said "Ok google, search midget porn" when I was calling my mom so naturally I need to get back at him, so when he's in the rec room, I backed up all his code on my flash drive, and copied it to the clipboard, and removed all project files from his computer.
He came back while I was in the bathroom, and when I reentered the room and was balling his eyes out, that his project was gone. I said to him, don't ok google me again and I handed him the flash drive back. He has never done anything bad again.12 -
Fucking HR interviews. Fucking "tell me about yourself" and pretending to seem interested in what i have to say while you think about how you did it with a guy behind the dumpster.
For fucks sake, i am a developer, i have spent more time with coding language than human language. I speak more to a rubber duck than to my friends. That's what you want to know about me?
I am here to fix your fucking site that uses flash plugin in 2017 and you want me to tell good things about your company?
Do you want me to tell you the details about your site that i got from whois and that your subscribed domain registration will end in September this year?
You don't know what responsive design is and you dare interview me?
Thanks for wasting my time and telling me shit about your company and how you have offices in germany and china. Well guess what? I dont care. I am busy thinking about some girl... Actually i am thinking about my side project. I dont know why i pretend to be cool?7 -
I'm seriously considering never doing fixed rate projects for clients ever again. The conversation will likely go like this, though:
"How much to build my website?"
"$100/hour."
"Sorry, I don't think you heard me correctly. I asked how much to build the whole website."
"$150/hour"
"Wait, you changed the rate! Why won't you give me a fixed cost?"
"Why won't you pay me for my time?"
"Because I can get it done for a cheaper fixed cost somewhere else!"
"But how do you know that's actually cheaper?"
"What do you mean?"
"We pad fixed price projects precisely because we fear not being fully paid for our time."
"Oh."16 -
Boss: Have you finished that feature?
Me: Almost there, i'm refactoring some classes...
Boss: What? Refactor? But thisnis a new feature, it does not need refactor! We don't have time for this!
Me: 😵🔫
This is what happen when you care about code quality.5 -
*job ad* We strongly adhere to TDD
Reality:
Me: yeah but shouldn't we write tests first and then get X finished?
Manager: No takes too much time, we finish X and then we decide if it's worth testing.
5 -
Me: ooh my eyes hearts, I have to sleep now, I fix this tomorrow morning.
(go to sleep)
Inner Me: hey
Me: ...
Inner Me: pisst! wake up
Me: what?? leave me alone I'm tired
Inner Me: remember that issue you had?
Me: yes?
Inner Me: this is how you can solve it
Me: great thanks, I'll fix it later
Inner Me: no no you have to fix it now
Me: I'm tired, I'll fix it first thing in the morning
Inner Me: no no you'll forgot it
Me: no I won't, let me sleep
Inner Me: no no you'll forget and I won't tell you again
Me: look I write it down in my phone now leave me alone
Inner Me: no no you have to fix it now.
Me: *crying* for God sake...
(gets out of bed and try to turn on PC and it's not starting, realizing that the power is out)
Me: you happy now, I fix it tomorrow.
Inner Me: no no stay awake till power is back on.
Me: SHUT THE FICN ON PICK OF CRAPE. Did SHDUHDBD DBDJDB3 -
Manager: We are hiring a new graphic designer today. Can you get him settled in, please?
Me: Sure, I can do that.
Me: *shakes hand of new recruit.*
Me: I've heard great things about you.
Him: *starts going off on all his experience*
Me: that's great. Let's see what you got.
Several hours later...
Me: can I see what you got?
Him: just putting the last finishing touches on this logo.
Me: is that MSPaint!?
Him: yeah! It's good right?
Me: um...14 -
My boss is making me deploy a major change what hasn't had proper testing yet on the day I leave for 2 weeks. Save me someone.13
-
I am but one man. Please remember that I am only human, and as much as I have automated, some things still take time.
Also,
I DON'T KNOW IT'S A FUCKING ISSUE UNTIL YOU MAKE ME AWARE OF SAID ISSUE. IF THIS ISSUE GOES ON FOR WEEKS, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AM AWARE. PLEASE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, LET ME KNOW BEFORE IT BECOMES A HEADACHE FOR YOU. BECAUSE WHEN AN ISSUE BECOMES A HEADACHE FOR YOU, YOY THEN BECOME A HEADACHE FOR ME.2 -
So my girlfriend decided to surprise me with this cake... I'm happy with it but I feel violated as I'm PHP guy not .NET
13 -
A conversation with my friend:
Me: Sure, I’ll whitelist you. What’s your IP?
Friend: I think it’s localhost.
Me: ...5 -
Conversation between me (intern) and a guy from communications, let's call him Bob.
Bob: "Hey, client X wants these pages to be changed."
Me: "Again? Last time I changed them was less than a week ago!"
Bob: "Yeah, everyone thinks X is a pain in the ass, but hey, more money for us."
Me: "But you don't pay me..."
Bob: "Oh yeah, you're right haha XD."
Me: "Haha... :')"2 -
You dumb, stupid fucking idiot.
Yes, that's me. Spent an hour debugging something, only to find out I wasn't paying attention when going through the API ref. Fucking fuck. Such a waste of time.2 -
Coworkers: "Who still even uses vim? Glad we've got Visual Studio so we don't have to deal with ancient shit tools like that!"
Me: "Psh, yeah, total losers right? Haha!"
**Sheepishly returns to coding using the VsVim extension**8 -
When I joined my team in august as a junior/trainee, we were 6 developers.
Now we are 4 left in the team.
By the end of june, we are 1.. I mean its me, myself and I.
Wtf did I do!? My code isnt that spaghetti. I think...
But its np, just me with a 20 years old database, 7 legacy systems and a new one planned.
Atleast my boss believes in me keeping this shit floating.11 -
Sent HTML to google translate server side to support multiple languages.. actually worked pretty well but it made me feel dirty for weeks.1
-
2days into changes in our team, so now I'm the only developer
client: so can you give me contact of another person while you're on vacation?
me: well, unfortunately I'm the only developer...
client: (ರ_ರ)
me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯3 -
I’m so tired of egocentric lying management executive types.
Executive: You should be thinking about how you speak to the “leadership”.
Me: How about stop lying, blaming me for your own mistakes, and then blackmailing?
Guy has never heard ‘no’ in his life.
Seriously, иди на хуй.10 -
me: "so what version control system + tool you're using for this website?"
co-worker: "what is version control?"
me: "uh... like tfs, you manage changes, merge etc!???"
co-worker: "ah, i'm using filezilla."3 -
Rant 2/n; 😎 = me, 💩 = client
The (brief but comprehensive) docs I sent my client contained the following line: "Any text that has not been translated will be highlighted yellow for the admins".
A day later:
💩: "Hey, I like the new design, but why are the titles yellow?"
😎: "They aren't actually yellow. You just see that because you're logged in and they aren't translated"
💩: "But the yellow doesn't look good with the design. Visitors will think it looks unprofessional. Make them not yellow!"
😎: "They won't see the yellow! Only you can see it so you don't miss any translations"
💩: "Hi, I just noticed some of the titles aren't in English. How do I translate them? And they're still yellow."
😐🙁😠😡🤬💥6 -
Client: I need a blog with 3 categories.
Designer: cool, let's have every post teaser in the home look diferent depending on the category.
Me (Dev): Ok...
Client: *sees actual design with different looking posts depending on category* I like it! Let's go!
Me: *codes the site*
Client: It's cool but in the home the posts look different... Could we make them look the same?
Me:...10 -
Client wanted to add "password usability" features such as:
Password1 === pASSWORD1
Him: Facebook and Google do it
Me: You're not Facebook or Google
Him: Well sure, not without this feature
Me: 🤔11 -
5" phones are too big.
15" laptops are too big.
Mid tower cases are too big.
Yet the market seems to disagree with me.24 -
Someone "advised" me today to start going to bed early because it improves my health. Well, it's been 3 hours with my eyes still open.
Screw it am going back to code.6 -
Me at midnight: let's release a demo build
Me at 1 am: why are there so many bugs? Why won't it compile.
Me at 2 am: omg finally compiled. Runs it, buttons don't work. Closes it, reopens it. Buttons work.
Me at 3 am: let's write apologetic posts for the bugs, but post the version anyway
Me at 4 am: why do I advertise in so many places
Me at 5 am: let's update the patreon reward tiers
Me at 5:30 am: nah fuck this, going to bed.
Mom at 9 am: wake the hell up we need you to dig out a hill and build a stone wall around one side of the house.
Me: omg wtf why.
Me at 2:30 pm: why the hell are we doing this, I have so many bugs to patch and everyone knows they are there because I told them all!
5 -
Holy fuck nvidia. Why the fuck you want me to login to your fucking app in order to download a fucking driver. You also want me to click a fucking link that you sent to my email for verification on every fucking login? Why on earth someone would stole my fucking nvidia account? To see which drivers I use? What the fuck nvidia? Oh wait. DO YOU DARE ASK ME TO SETUP TWO FACTOR AUTH TO SECURE MY ACCOUNT?!? What the fuck? Even if I put my credentials online no one would care to login my fucking nvidia account. Just let me download my fucking driver!6
-
I fucked up.... Pretty big today, biggest in fact I ever have 😓
I sent an HTML Email to the wrong... List 😢
As true to my last post. I told the truth to the client. They are cool with it...
I'd of fired me
Happy accident thou... They got more activity then they ever got...
😢 Going to curl up in a corner for a second ...6 -
I dream of meeting a programmer girl. I'm starting to think only programmers understand me, and therefore yadda yadda
4 -
> Take girlfriend to Starbucks
Me: I'll ask for a cold brewed coffee, what would you like?
She: I don't like coffee...
8 -
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW AT 8 AM AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SLEEP SINCE 12.30 AM. IT'S 6 AM ALREADY, 6 AM!
I guess when they no screens before sleeping they really mean it. I'm fucked, I'm really fucked. I guess I'll stare the ceiling until the alam goes off and accept an awful day and hope I get pumped up during the test or something. Fuck me. I want to fucking SLEEP. Fuck.
I just wanted to install vivaldi before sleeping and watch the last rick and morty episode. Does that fucking make me a fucking night owl? No. I could've use these precious time learning or writing code, or even sleeping, but fuck! I'm stuck here in time, just waiting for fucks sake!
Good night...
OR That's what I WOULD say if I could sleep...16 -
Currently rewriting a typescript app to ES5
You read that right, from typescript 2.9 to ES5, not ES6 or 7, just ES5
I guess the boss doesn’t like modern stuff
On the bright side, i contacted some recruiters today and there are already 2 companies who want me over for an interview11 -
I love when employers reach out to you like desperate fuck boys on a dating app.
Tell me more about your “amazing” benefits package that’s indistinguishable from any other, your PTO that is as “unlimited” as my phone plan, and the empty mustard packets you acquired in series Z funding.
I’ve got all day to watch your dance play out its milky chance. -
when you are a 19yo trying to build a portfolio and you have a mother bashing everyday that you only spend time "at the computer" and I should get "a real job" and that "your dream will never come true" really is the biggest disappointment of my dev life.
It just builds pressure and sads me. She doesn't support me cuz I'm not "doing any money".
I feel like I should just quit everything or even disappear from this shitrock that is called earth....19 -
Manager: Morning Alex, how are you?
My Brain: I'm fan-fucking-tastic, I've had 1 hour of sleep, hurt my back, feels like my tail bone is broken, struggling to walk, every piece of code I've written for the past 3 day's has been a complete waste of time and I'm at work...
Me actually: Good thanks .-.3 -
It's so frustrating when you're trying to power through a development but get constantly interrupted by phone calls, coworkers, project managers, meetings, emails and IM.
Just let me work!!3 -
Holy fucking cockgoblin!
If you interview for a senior position, please, for the sanity of your interviewer (me), make sure you know how to declare variables and how to iterate over an array in the language which the shitgoblin (you) "love and use all the time".
Of course the interviewer (me) is gonna be polite and let the shitgoblin (you) code out your 50-line solution for a 3-line problem, but after 2 hours watching the shitgoblin contemplate solutions that anyone who ever opened a fucking beginners tutorial by accident could answer, the interviewer might prefer to have been on a Justin Bieber concert or have sucked huge sweaty ballsacks for those two hours.
I know that interviews can be hard and stressful - I've been there, am there, and at some point will be there again - but please, for the love of nonexistent gods, don't be a time-wasting shitnugget but prepare yourself!16 -
Me starting a project: Okay I'm stuck with this project I'll just shelve this for now
[3 weeks later]
*comes back to project*
*find a solution with problem I came stuck with*
WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN WHY DID IT TAKE YOU 3 WEEKS TO HELP ME FIX SHIT WRYYYYY7 -
OMG I just accidentally deleted hundreds of hours of work permanently ... F*** ME 😱😱😱😨😨😱😰
THIS IS WHY I DON'T FUCKING USE AUTOMATED BATCH SCRIPTS.22 -
Oh fuck... OH FUCKING FUCK OF FUCKS!
So, I made an interview and recorded it with Audacity...
Stupid me only stopped the recording and closed it...
WITHOUT SAVING! I DIDNT FUCKING SAVE THE FUCKING RECORDING! FUCK!
I DIDNT SAVE HALF AN HOUR OF AUDIO! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN! IT DIDNT EVEN ASK ME TO FUCKING SAVE IT!
or was it??
FUCK NOW IM PARANOID!14 -
Half the papers on multimodal learning refer to studies on human children learning. Makes me wonder why we never study animals to know how their multimodal learning works so fucking well that some newborns can function straight out of the womb/egg.10
-
Drove my colleague mad with console.log("you cant find me"), that stare he gave me across the room when his stuck with a bug. made me lol in the office literally1
-
I was struggling with a task on a project and decided to call the colleague, who's working on this project as well (he built it, I am just on-boarding) to get some advice.
Literally the first thing he asked me was: "have you seen whom this task is assigned to?"
Fuck! So I spent about 1.5 hours on not finishing a task that I shouldn't have worked on in the first place. Great.5 -
All I've been doing at work last few days is code review. Damn, I feel bored. Just give me something to code already!3
-
I should have known this job would be bad in my first week when they told me most of the classes are just copy-pastes of each other with different names7
-
So this happened:
Client: “I just checked the page and the background video isn’t playing anymore. There’s just a play button in the middle”
Me: “It’s doing that because you are on low battery mode on your iPhone. Take it off”.
😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐1 -
*My friend was piling up her food in a bbq place*
Me: What are you doing?
Her: I'm trying to beat my old stacking record.
Me: Be careful not to get a stack overflow!
. . .I'll see myself out.2 -
Me: I’m gonna make it so the users can access the locations for 30days.
Boss: wtf? U dumb? Do you know how valuable that data is, dont fucking put a limit
Me: *listening 10minutes of him ranting how that’s the stupidest idea he’s heard all day*
Boss:why would you want to do that anyways like wtf?
Me: storage optimization
Boss: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 wtf r u like a idiot or smthng.
My head: nah I’m done, I’m about to roast this guy with my numbers*
Me: every single minute 40k rows of data come in from just ONE☝️ CLIENT.....AND THATS HOW, EVEN IF WE ADD THAT FUCKING 2 YEAR LIMIT WE WOULD BE HOSTING 5 FUCKING PETABYTES OF DATA FOR JUST ONE CLIENT, not including other shits, this is only for heatmaps. And imagine changing all of that database system in the future, that would require going threw so much databases and pages, this ain’t just like changing one number and bam less storage space.
Boss: Ok, add that 2 year limit, later we will sort this out.
My brain: *omg, now that I know these numbers how will I ever fall asleep😦*9 -
My supervisor's flaky attitude is annoying the shit out of me.
Mate, why would you agree to hire me for the project I wanted to do (and get me to move halfway across the planet) and then tell another colleague that I'm focusing too much on my project and they should give me their extra work?
Like, I get it but I don't get it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯6 -
I'm debugging someone else's 10 year old legacy .asp web application (shoot me now), and I'm trying to find the most recent records in a database table.
Why is the most recent record from September of last year?
Oh.
Because they're storing the datetime value as varchar (40).
Good thing they were smart enough not to waste disk space by using varchar (255)!4 -
So I'm not sure whether this actually is a believable story or not but I think I'll just share the saddest moment in my life with you.
So.... I've been working with a boy 0.5years younger than me on a project in Java so he could learn something about programming. I was actually dictating him code because he wasn't able to JUST WRITE ONE SINGLE LINE OF CODE WITHOUT ASKING ME HOW TO DO SHIT!!! So I dictated him a for each loop:
Me: "for ( Foo foo colon foos ) {doSomeShit();}"
Him: "for ( Foo foo .. foos ) {doSomeShit();}
For your understanding: in German colon means doppel punkt / double dot. I didn't think someone actually writes two dots... THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD
Please don't blame me for being a bad teacher. I'm inn a class with him and I know we did that in class. I also thought it multiple times to him6 -
Normal human: Visits web store -> orders for product -> leaves store.
Me: Visits web store -> Stares at header -> Stares at logo -> Check if colors match -> Scroll to footer -> Frowns at ads -> Scroll back up -> Multi click product item for debounce -> Fuck i clicked twice but it added the product thrice -> Closes tab -> Drives to local store -> Purchase product -> leaves store.8 -
Freelance:
Me: I'm done with the major bugs. Can I do the minor bugs tomorrow?
PM: can you hang on just a moment? Can you pls remove the ...
Me: I'll try. I'm experiencing brain dysfunction right now.
PM: Oh? Hahaha! Just a minor tweak tho. Teeheehee.
Me: (fudge)3 -
me on my cover letter: i'm an experienced programmer
me irl: knows exactly two languages, has to google how to write basic methods2 -
Don't you fucking love spending 3 days debugging only to realise you had a fucking dash instead of an underscore... Yeah me too! .-.5
-
be me
be scrolling through craigslist out of boredom
apply to be an intern at a health nonprofit on a whim without doing proper research
*two days later*
randomly look at their website again
see the footer at the bottom: Proudly created with Wix.com
FUCK WHAT THE FUXKA S FICBW WJiB whziNs skid be eiizhw anish e s6 -
Have you ever reach a point where you lost any desire or mood to do anything? Like when you don't even want to rant about the fuckedupshit you are in.9
-
Gah gets me every time I open an image I want to share with friends on messages later.
Share dialog ain't cutting it.
1 -
Client gives me long talk about how important their website is to them. Repeatedly have to reassure them I know what I am doing. Still badger me about being super secure. Their password is the same as their username for their website hosting.1
-
Me: ok, time to archive this shit and publish :D
Xcode: ok. Archiving started
10min later archiving done
Publishing to app store connect,
5 min later, sorry, we can't publish this cuz u haven't changed the build number from 2 to 3¯\ _(ツ)_/¯
Me:😠ok, whatevs, let's do this, archive
Xcode: ok, archiving started
10min later, archiving done!
Me: click next to upload to app store connect, 5 min later...
XCODE: SORRY, U CAN ONLY PUBLISH ON XCODE GM'S TO APPSTORE CONECT
Me:😤 OMG, OK 3rd time is the charm...
So now xcode has started archiving, I hope nothing happens again 😬6 -
So I taught myself basic PHP in one day today after contemplating and realizing itll help me get the job I want. And i made a practice website with it today and im pretty proud of it so far.8
-
Email (not a ticket) comes in this morning: "You need to make X change to y thing, yesterday!!" with of course the obligatory million + 1 Cc's including unrelated directors across multiple sites.
Me as my helpful self: I expected this request, I'll get it sorted asap
Director 1: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it
Manager: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it
Submitter: *calls*
Me: ignore
Director 2: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it
..............
As a bonus rant, after implementing the change, manager calls and criticises my technical explanation to the submitter who I know is fully capable of understanding the way it was explained 😂
Happy Thursday!3 -
Working as a part time student on an app and until now I thought I was the king of software development.
Well, fuck me and my high horse.
Today the stuff we send from the client to the server didn't arrive, so I asked the backend guy if he could take a look at the packages arriving. He did and told me the data was messed up.
I did only design stuff the last week or so, so I was very confused. After reverting back to one old commit after the other it struck me.
I still don't know how such a dumb mistake could have happened to me, the king of Android apps, but apparently I replaced all occurrences of a specific keyword in just the strings and comments of the whole project. Key became KeyList, so instead of <Keys> my XML contained <KeyList> which made no goddamn sense whatsoever.
Did I mention that we have an important deadline tomorrow? Yeah...
So now I leaned my lesson. Never trust XML.
JK I'm dumb. That's the lesson here. -
I was debugging a new version of a calendar web app I've created, and was puzzled when the code for rendering calendar events was never hit...Till I realized, there are no calendar events this week in the dev environment. Silly me! *LOL*1
-
[Warning! - Sob story ahead, you've been warned]
Dear devRant,
today someone who interviewed me in the last days, said they want to hire me.
Good news, right?
Professionally speaking yes, but... i don't know.
I always been a freelance: never had much work, but i was always free of doing whatever i liked and whenever (no fixed working hours).
I have a room in an office with 2 other people. People i love to hate (it's complicated).
But now i'm thinking about this new work they are offering me: no more freelance, no office, no flexibility. All with a 6 months contract.
What really scares me is that i will lose what i have... even the 2 co-workers that i hate/love: i have never been able to make friends, they are the thing that comes closer to friends in my life.
I'm feeling a void in front of me:
being an adult (35 years old...) and choose a work that pays, but loose... essentially what i am, what i have hardly build...
OR decline the job, and going on "Peter-Pan-style", living at my pace: free but constantly hoping of something good to happen to me
I don't know, really don't know... so many feeling are overwhelming me now.
And tomorrow i have to make a decision5 -
Mom: Give me one single reason why won't you do MBA?
Me: People there won't get my jokes on computers, and it will be all like high school again 😭😭😭 -
Me after using Prolog for 6 hours because of University...
Sometimes prolog gives me brainfuck (pun intended)
3 -
Client is setting up Google Suite, needs me to create a TXT record. She sends me a screenshot of the record that needs to be created, so I ask her to copy/paste the record values .... she copy and pastes the URL and sends that to me. I ask again for her to copy the values in the fields on the page and send them to me ... she sends me another screenshot. How do these people get through a day?3
-
I have been working 100 hours per week for the last 4 years. I had to deal with many stress issues, eyes, pain and headaches.
But nothing has scared me like my college life. For some reason, I still get nightmares about the viva exams.
What's wrong with me?3 -
About to start my real first Java project to learn the language in-depth: a virtual ATM featuring a GUI and a networking system for the transmission of banking data to and from a server. Since I particularly care about security this will surely help me get a better understanding of everything involved. Wish me luck.16
-
Sometimes when I'm working on some front end stuff, I'll forget that I should look at the local file and instead look at the version online. I spend about 5 minutes every time figuring why it doesn't change before I realize just how stupid I am. It gets me every time. Every gosh diggity darn time.2
-
Wtf is wrong with me? Last night, I had a very hard time falling asleep even though it was 3am.
Today, I've now been laying in my bed for over 2 hours, and I'm not even close to falling asleep. It feels like my brain wants to think over every possible scenario of what could happen tomorrow...
Please send help...9 -
I really don't know how to please StackOverflow people. I did my due diligence on a bit of code but, like we all do, I got stuck and needed a bit of advice. I posted clearly and concisely and still my question got downvoted twice. What do they want? For me to post the question AND the answer? Only ask Ph.D.-type questions? Why am I never good enough for these people?!4
-
Taking charge of an existing project...
Me: "This certificate requires a password. Can you send it to me"
Other dev who was earlier responsible for the project : "Just use the default one"
Me: " And what's that?"
Other dev: "CHANGEIT"! All caps
Me: 😐 -
I'm living in the twilight zone...
These people upload and download an entire directory of files from microsoft teams as their way of version control...
And what's worse they're dragging their feet on changing over to git/github
God save me1 -
Drinking alcohol is soo good for my social life because my autopilot is far better with people.
Somehow people can actually really get to know and like me then.
Will this ever change for normal me (22 yo) or should I just keep going out?12 -
me: i dont wanna get out of bed to check the code, i feel so comfy and lazy
me: *after 10 mins* dammit, need to change this, need to change that, its still fucked up, why is this wrong *codes more* -
Anyone else like coding while high? A lot of the time it gives me a different, more simple, point of view of my problem which helps me find a solution a good amount of the time14
-
fuck this!
spent an hour trying get my website working (on a raspberry) ... no errors, dev tools gave nothing, php gives nothing mySQL related... weird.. debugged my code for an hour when it me... db on my pc for testing is not the same one as the "production" server. i am so fucking stupid... i need some sleep3 -
I sincerely cannot live through another daylight saving time change. I cannot. Please, oh politicans, have mercy upon me. My work deals with 5 different time zones. PLEASE5
-
Me: Do you already have a live USB stick for Windows?
Brother: You mean a dead USB stick, because Windows hasnt got that feature?!2 -
My productivity has gone fucking low.
I have hundreds of things ti do , Prepare for exams, write code for my internship project,write code for my game, learn new things about ML,etc.
But all I fuckin do is play games all day instead of making mine!
Plz help, give me some words of encouragement or tell me something that you do to boost your productivity and keep away from distractions !6 -
Some prankster on upwork is trying to swindle me out of paying me because they didn't "hire" me through upwork even though he asked me to send an "example" of my rendition of what I would do for their logo. Once they told me they went with someone else even after performing the requested "example," I promptly asked who to invoice. "They're going to go talk to the boss and see what they can work out."1
-
Devs: Early birds or night owls?
Me: Definitelly night owl, can not wake up before 10 and sometimes working till morning. I know it is bad for health but I can not help myself. Being much more creative and productive at night.12 -
I’m tired of being put in positions where design gives me a rough mock-up a week (or less) before its launch day. It’s frustrating and I’m tired.
-
Dear Boss/PM,
If you look over at my desk and I am 'doing nothing', feel free to assume one of the following:
1) I finished what I had to do and am taking a quick break before tackling what's next.
2) I am working on something that is giving me a hard time and am taking a quick pause to refresh.1 -
Me: *gets a payout from my old job*
Me: ahhh now to spoil myself, let's get some pixel buds and a day dream set and maybe a nice bottle of whiskey.
eBay: YO! We have that MacBook you've been looking for going really cheap at the moment!
Me: ... I hate myself...
Why does stuff always go on sale when I've spent my money ;-;2 -
The devRant gods got me puzzled again
The api for voting posts is
*/devrant/rants/id/vote/*
But for comments is
*/comments/id/vote/*
5 -
Want to read a book that can help me avoid newb mistakes and can help me write beautiful code ?
Pragmatic programmer(1999)
Or
Clean code
Or
any other book ?
Help me !!?14 -
Hi everyone I'm new there =)
Basically i'm just here for the stickers.
But this look like a really fun place to be as a dev, so i'm maybe going to stay a while ;)
anyway have a great day, you can resolve this bug !5 -
Today I spilt a glass of water onto my palm. As I was shaking the hand of a senior executive. He looked at me in disgust as our hands squelched together.
-
!rant
Been here since 2/2017 and didn't make myself an avatar. I feel ashamed.
Edit: I hate the MM/DD/YYYY format. More shame on me that I did not notice it was in retard format.4 -
So I am only 15 and I am trying to find local businesses that will allow me to either build them a website or let me redo their current website.
Doesnt sound thay complicated right? I have gotten to do it once, for a laid back coffee shop owner whos business went out of business a day after i emailed him about it being done. I mean how the hell does that even happen!
I have tried different types of emails and shown all of my work, which it is all good sites that look professional. Issue is alot of people dont trust email offers or dont trust me cause im 15. I am not much of a person who can walk into a store and talk to the owner about it, i am not social in that aspect.
So anyone have any ideas?5 -
Starting to get really hyped about how my book is progressing, thinking about starting to put some promotional items and desk tat together...
Oh lord I'm a better author than a dev, someone slap me...
(I'm slightly terrified that it might actually get finished and may have fans so my mind is sort of melting into sludge and I hide it behind excitement)17 -
Ugh! I'm in unfinished project Hell. Three website owners need me to finish big features and I just keep uncovering bugs and feature gaps. So much anxiety about all of it.3
-
I don't know what's wrong with me this morning. I started refactoring, and I know I'm overdoing it. I can't stop myself. I'm stuck fiddling over it like a meth head scratching his skin.
Please stop me. I'm hurting the code.2 -
So it's not just through reading your own code later that you can realize how stupid you are. All the great card house of the belief in your own superiority collapsing instantly.
Currently intense time with my son. Can be hard being around one another 24h non-stop... And then realizing that a lot of the stubbornness and quirks of his that drive me crazy: is actually me! (Be it that it's in my character as well or he was reacting to a stupidness of mine)2 -
Some """friend""" of mine asked me help because he has trouble installing WAMP on a Linux distro.
Me: why don't you try to install a LAMP server instead, you are on Linux, you can do whatever you want.
Him: LAMP is not a thing, this doesn't exist, there's no package called like that.
Me: *sends a tutorial to setup a web dev server*
Him: You are so unhelpful, why are you disrespectful like that ?!?
Me: *having some murder thoughts*
Why do I still reply to these people ?4 -
The internet at large is annoying me.
I just signed up for the payback card through Rewe. Cool idea. It's a German points card, and I have an American phone. Play store tells me the app isn't available in my country, and I don't see it on fdroid.
Anyone have suggestions for a reliable apk site to get this from?8 -
I just spent a whole day learning wordpress cause it's mandatory for my graduation project and I'm still not quite sure what I'm doing.
I'm proficient with HTML, CSS, Javascript and PHP enough to make the damn thing in less than a day, yet here I am strugling with the damn plugins and themes... It just looks too chaotic for me.
6 -
Actuall live footage of me trying to install and configure VMware to work on arch at the moment...
(I might be a little fucking frustrated)
8 -
var myLove =0;
var myLife = 'you';
if(yourHeart =='Me'){
myLove =+1;
else {
myLife = null;
myLove = undefined;
}4 -
If all the 24 years of my life have taught me anything, it’s that I am not at all good at time management.
That’s why I am always stressed. And I hate that I just can’t seem to make it better. Short motivational bursts are good, but I need a permanent solution!3 -
Online tutorials and universities hate me for this simple trick making you learn webdev quickly.
There are 4 simple steps that will make you learn webdev quickly
Transfer me 20 bitcoins to find out this secret method to learn webdev quickly2 -
Yeah sure, drown me in administrative work and then plan to hire another dev to help because I can't keep up.
Are you kidding me?
F*cking hire someone for the KPI and that stuff!2 -
Someone please kill me.
I'm sick of myself.
A few days ago in the prize distribution for a past coding contest, I denied my prize and eventually accepted after fucking around a bit.
Now since two days, I'm straight forward wasting my time. My grades are going down exponentially and I'm involving neither in CUDA (which a started just a while ago) nor I'm getting into studies and even getting in competitive coding.... Fuck me!!!!!! -
Someone asked for help to solve some errors on an angular app.
Me: sure np, send me the repo link to see what is the issue.
She: *proceeds to send me a 250mb rar*
Me: what is that? I prefer the repo so I can see the history please
She: got me there, haven’t versioned yet
Me: WHAT? You’ve been working for three weeks without versioning anything?
She: yep, because I can’t make it work so, why would I?
I really ask myself sometimes if we are in this world just to suffer.19 -
Apple, next time you want to get me to upgrade my file system, please FUCKING TELL ME IT WONT LET ME INSTALL WINDOWS USING BOOTCAMP, 9 hours and I’ve only just found the file system that will let me run Adobe Cloud and Windows
-
Spent the last 2 and a half days working on sth, it turned out great. Was pointed out a major mistake in the structure, have to redo about 95%. Kill me now.
-
Ok so I bought a new phone yesterday and my entire day today has been massive failure and loss.
I have to get various things done but fuck!!!
Help me2 -
First day back at my old workplace and the guy who replaced me as storeman is going to put me in an early grave...
Literally all of the work I put in over the past year and a bit is gone...
Welp... Let's hope I can get a higher up position soon so I can fix this shit heap .-. -
!(rant && story)
It hit me today. I literally 100% fit the exact stereotype for a backend developer.
And it's not wrong, I love backend dev and hate frontend work with a burning passion (even though I can do it)
whyyyy1 -
I drank too much last night. I was scared shitless since I really can't deal with hungovers and I am not supposed to drink a lot because of my stomach condition.
Mind you, for me, 8 beers is a lot(drank them in about 2 hours) and went to sleep. I was not all fucked up or anything, i was very lucid and scared of what i was going to deal with.
As i was trying to relax, my psychosis kicked in and I can swear that a little voice told me to calm down, i have been working out like if I was about to fight McGregor and my metabolism is through the roof(which is sometimes alarming) and that I will be good by morning.
Woke up at 11 feeling like a million bucks.4 -
Helped dad around the house yesterday. It made me feel a tad less depressed, until this morning when I looked at job ads again. 😒10
-
Why the hell am I so talkative!!!!!
I think it's better I work alone so that I be less of an annoy for others...
Side-effects of me working at day time..
Missing working at night time all alone..3 -
Good afternoon guys. Long time no hear from me and I'm sorry about that. Had a lot health problems to fight.
I'm currently trying to list all processes that are running on my pc with a C# program. VS is running with admin rights but I'm still getting an error: "System.ComponentModel.Win32Exception: Access denied Error"
I tried googling it but if found the answer I didn't understand it.
Please help me.
19 -
Hello guys, I need your help.
Recently we purchased new property for our company. And we are about to start working there in few days.
And now we are searching quotes to stick on wall there.
Can you guys help me with this?
Please suggest me some quotes.16 -
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!
IT'S A FUCKING VPN AND THEY CAN'T FUCKING PROTECT IT'S CONFIG FILES FROM JS!!!!!
https://thehackernews.com/2018/02/...
ooh first rant with dvorak2 -
It kills me when people performing UAT do not know how to test a particular functionality but still mark it as a defect when something uneven happens! We use IMF to build the input using tags. Sometimes they won't even care to know the right tag to fit in the params, but would still mark it as a bug whatsoever!
-
Background: I'm doing a migration from FileMaker to JavaFX
My PM asked me what was going to be the main page of the system and he gave me an ugly option, to which I answered with a dashboard example, so now he wants me to change everything so that our app looks like the one I showed him -
I have friends married to girls from the Philipines. If there are some people from said country in here, would you mind telling me why their FB names, instagram names or whatever are things like:
"Cee La SomeShit still Trying <white dude surname>"
"Beauty Hope LoveThisSwag <whatever last name>"
"Leyla StillHaveDabooty <white surname>"
Like wtf, just put your fucking name, shit sounds SO fucking trashy4 -
Through the darkness of future past
The programmer longs to see
One chants out between two platforms:
CODE COMPILE FOR ME -
Me: *Creates new react project*
Me: *Run project*
Console: found 4999 new errors.
Me: (っ˘0˘ς) I have not written anything yet! WTF is your problem!4 -
I tried to sort out a basic Multi layer neural network last night....by hand, just to prove that I was able to do the math by myself and understand that I have the intuition in control rather than just rely on Tensorflow or Pytorch to do shit for me.
I stayed up till 3 in the morning and woke up having nothing but dreams about the endeavor. Shitty part is that i couldn't stop dreaming about partial derivatives and how shit it was that I sucked at them in HS and uni. I get them now, but fuck I just feel that I could have done so much better at uni instead of passing my math classes with 80% to 90% of the grade. I feel as if I was slacking all thanks to being damn near mathematically dyslexic3 -
Man... I got a really good story to make a visual novel game but its way too art heavy for me... anyone who can illustrate or atleast good at drawing?6
-
tomorrow i have a presentation of a webapp but last night i decided to change the ui. i am not done yet and this frontend is driving me nuts.13
-
!rant
EULA proposition for broke developers with no legal knowledge whatsoever (like me): “By installing/using this software you agree not to sue me.”
??? git good4 -
Can someone explain me what Left liberal woke shit is?
Isn't being liberal a good thing?
I am confused and my political opinion and knowledge sucks.51 -
Trying (for fun) to run a GNUStep Obj C program that calls c headers has proven something to me:
I really do not know what I am doing with makefiles and should probably slowly and respectfully walk away to continue doing what i was doing in c++
Kids, documentation reading is important.
I also do happen to really like objc1 -
Company i applied for told me how they are planning to release a new project on friday.
... Decided for a different company -
Was recruited to build a text-based course where I get a nice bonus if I finish the course early. Now I know how they are always able to save themselves from giving that out. There's so much fucking red tape for each literal sentence I write! I have MULTIPLE reviewers, commenting, editing, and "suggesting" EVERYTHING I write.
News flash: this course is derived from a different video-based course that has sold hundreds of copies on other platforms, so I must be doing something right.
Just let me write the whole course and we edit it in the end!!! This treadmill is going to triple or quadruple the time until publishing...
I feel like I'm trapped in the movie office space: "every day I have 5 different bosses come and tell me the same thing"
Won't be working with this platform again. -
Gonna be applying for college. Gonna major in programming.. I've always read the horror stories.. I hope my teachers arent retarded and dont make me use shit software..
Any advice?..3 -
So I spent 2 hours trying to debug my HTML form with data pulled from database. I kept updating the data in the database but the forms weren't changing. Then it finally struck me, Firefox fucking caches form fields on page reload. I use to think this was a convinient feature but now it's just a pain in the ass.1
-
Me: *Building my own CSS and JS framework for static websites and testing it as i go while building my work site*
Inner me: Stop remaking the wheel, use MDL!
Me: *Starts sweating furiously*
Why must JS and CSS be so bloody horrible to build with from scratch, should I just use MDL and extend it with some custom classes or keep powering forward?6 -
From time to time our internet slows down to 10kbit and latency goes over 1000ms or just cuts out completely and everyone starts screaming at me to fix it, what am I?! The fucking ISP's tech. support?!!! When it goes down it goes down, I can't do anything about it, I keep reminding everyone to keep a copy of their stuff on the NAS so they have access to it when this happens, no one ever listens to me! The only person that uses the NAS is me...
-
I’ve discovered I can almost never do business with friends or become friends with previously non-friend clients. It becomes too often an excuse not to pay me for my work.3
-
Me: "You should go with this other option for the software. It's cheaper and you can do more."
Client: "No. This more expensive and less-capable thing I chose is better. We'll make it work."
[several weeks pass]
Client: "This isn't working. Why didn't it work?"
Me: "You have to upgrade to a more expensive plan, or switch to the other solution I told you about."
Client: "No. We'll make it work."
Me: *facepalm*3 -
RAT. HOLE. FUCK.
The retrospective is not the time to develop features and designs. We have burnt 45 minutes of an already ludicrously long retro ( 3 hours ).
Too much coffee + this horse fucking shit is geeking me out. -
I read the whole site and still don’t know if it’s legit. All I know is that the next time someone expects to “pay” me through “exposure”, I’ll be sending them here: https://paywithexposure.com2
-
I FIGURED IT OUT! PAYPAL EXPRESS CHECKOUT NOW RESIDES UNDER BY REIGN. HAIL ME I'M A FUCKING GENIUS FUCK YE I LOVE PAYPAL HELL THE FUCK YEAH! fuck carrots though
-
All the summers a small local company that offers IT services, mobile and web development hires me to help, as in that time they have a peak of work and is when the employees takes vacations, so, this year my job there is to help with a web they decided to make using django, over it installed other framework and also installed a lot of libraries that some are in beta.
We have limited time and we are wasting it fixing all the fucking broken code, incompatibility between libs and other fucking problems because their lack of vision.
I'm fucking mad as we are not even close finishing the project and the deadline is near. I fear this will mark me for the company to hire me future years.1 -
So I'm visiting my dad, he was a Novell engineer, now works on my grandpa's junkyard, and He wants to me develop a system to handle inventory and stuff, but he asks me to broom and fix CCTV cameras, and then has me doing nothing, so I'm thinking of saying
I'M A PROGRAMMER, A DAMN GOOD ONE, THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING
Thank you devrant btw for providing a nice shelter for my anger and boredom2 -
I have job interview next week! Do you have any advice that can help me? :) (position: FrontEnd Dev)9
-
Me: preparing to go to sleep.
Github: you’re now able to use code spaces beta.
Me: fuck sleep for a while and let’s give it a try
Anyone is using it ?6 -
PLEASE. Help me to find a good name for my function.
My function returns json or XML based on the accept header parameter.
🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔10 -
Currently on a project to use AI as music recommending model, an interactive AI model generator and researching on Distributed Systems altogether in three different teams for each thing...
Seems I'm the dirty fish of their team.. 😖
Fucking wasting the time all along the day...
Like Why the Fuck am I degrading my own potential, quality and what not...
Oh god Fucking pick me to the hell NOWWW -
Oh shit! My previous rant is super stupid! Fuck me.
Its almost like:
isalpha (value);
And asking why are you putting the value if you already know. 😐 Now I understood it's General way of showing things. Noob issues! 😬
Now I understood how people overreact just because they didn't think for a second.
Stupid me. 🙈 -
Forget about this: https://devrant.com/rants/2136329/...
Now I Whatsapp myself with the files I want because apparently, I'm too lazy to connect the phone to my laptop :\5 -
So guys at the moment Im working at a medical company as a business temp but I really like it here. At the moment they know me as the tech guy. I want to be the official systems administrator here but don't know how to go about doing that.
I have a strong Linux background but everyone here uses windows.
I think that they need a server but I don't think I can just go up to my boss and say "hey, I know I'm not certified yet but hows about you give me money so I can set up a server for you?"
I need advice.5 -
Oh god why... Why is it that every time I work with software defined radios, I keep on having to rely on not just incomplete, but at times misleading documentation 😩
Last time was GNU radio, with the doc telling me that I could define an input for a processing block using either a type or a (type, size) tupple, only for the actual code to scream at me in confusion upon my passing a tupple.
Now is that other SDR's SDK, which, as if being built upon eclipse wasn't bad enough, managed to make its serial communications confusing. Why can't you just let me set a callback to rx interrupts, you daft punks...1 -
I posted a rant a while back about a contract I was working that was making me particularly unhappy.
I didn't notice at the time but my studies had taken a turn for the worse, my concentration had begun to wane and I started struggling to finish work.
I was miserable and the client had figured and pulled me up on it, I turned the working relationship around and the client was happy.
That was two weeks ago, Monday I was called into a room with the managers, manager straight to the point "contract is being cut short" (I was contracted to the end of the year but was seriously considering handing my notice in that day anyway).
They made the decision for me, awesome!
Also I was given the two weeks notice as paid but asked not to come to the office again and had to hand in all my equipment that day.
Could I have been that much of an arsehole to deal with that they thought it would be better for all concerned that I have no further dealing with any of them?
Talking to teammates it does appear that I was getting special treatment from management, I think if it is me I need to address this before moving on to the next contract so I don't get myself in the same predicament.
Although two weeks paid leave was a quite nice bonus 👍 -
Me to my code:
"""
Baby can I run you tonight?;
And maybe if told you the right words;
Wooo at the right place;
We'll debug... X2;
""" -
I have 3 goals this year.
Move out
Maintain at least 1 new long term friendship
Be more responsible
I have way more smaller things I want to do but these are the end goals. Each entail their own struggles but I know I can do it.
Keep me responsible fam -
In my company there is a weekly employee benefit that each employee can get. The advantage is not carry over to next week if you don't take it the current week.
There is a junior in my department who is not taking a weekly benefit. I am sure he know about the weekly benefit because I have explain it to him before.
I said to him if he is not taking his portion of weekly benefit , can I take his instead? I explicitly said it to him that he can said "No" if he wanted and he don't need to consider the junior-senior relationship since I was mentoring him.
He said "I can take his portion if I want".
I know I got his permission but he is a quiet and reserved person (nothing wrong with it) , I am a reserved person myself.
I have to initiate a conversation and give him a chance to speak up like "What do you think about ... ? " , "X,do you think it is a good idea to ..." ,
My question is that does my junior give his permission to take him weekly benefit because he is a reserved person and doesn't like to tell "No".
What do you guy think?18 -
What is the best way to write an 'About Me' page on your website that doesn't nake you sound arrogant, but doesnt sell you short either?3
-
uPlay is ramming me down the throat harder than what should be legal, I can barely breathe.
I'm trying to install Far Cry 5, I preordered it. But.. download is stuck on fucking 0B. That being 0 bytes.
I tried disabling all firewall/antivirus, clean Windows boot, restart, reinstall launcher, slam the table, like everything.
Why isn't the shit fucking doing its job? Anyone who got ideas for what I could try next?
I'm not gonna send a message to their support, I'd rather have sex with a hedgehog, where I'm the one being penetrated. Fuck me.6 -
Not a big fan of iPhone’s touch points. They don’t feel intuitive at all to me. Maybe it’s my 8 years of Android experience talking.1
-
triggers {
cron('H */1 * * 1-5') // 23 every working day
}
I hate when comments are not updated along with code.
Even more when git blame points at me xD1 -
!rant
how come I can't ++ my own rant or comment
Like I'm sick of people telling me I can't like myself.
I can fucking like myself if I want to.
It's my body my life.
We live in the age of self love and all that other shit.
Let me ++ myself.
Oh wait I figured it out.
++ing yourself might lead to spam rants where people post a hundred rants and ++ themselves for points.
I propose that ++ing ourselves become legal but it doesn't effect our total ++ rank9 -
Beating myself up at the moment. Didn’t think about how to live update something/update the info on the page dynamically. Put a cape on me because I’m feeling like a super failure right now.
-
What fresh hell is this ??????
I lost my earbuds TWICE within 2 weeks !!!!
I swear I had em last night when I put em in pouch , and now I see only 1 earbud.
|-_-|-_-| FUCK MY LIFE |-_-|-_-|
Rent me an earbud or kill me, PLEASE
It saddens me to think I'll not fulfill my endorphins quota today :(
The only enjoyment I have in my life is gymming to heavy bass, the endorphins keep me alive, everything else in life is shit right now : unhappy job, stress from GRE prep, no gf, staying away from family1 -
Anyone who's a developer at any open source software? Please ping me I would love to contribute on issues with your guidance.7
-
That moment you remember that yesterday you said "that's a tomorrow me problem" and you're that tomorrow you.1
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Persuade me on my next language. Right now I use python. Debating between JavaScript, Go, or C/C++. You'll get a ++bomb prize for responses that are detailed and include good resources for learning. Commence!7
-
Past me is such a dick:
"Note to future self: this is a dirty hack taken straight from the ONLY StackedOverflow result. Didn't understand it then... "2 -
Client: On the website, the thing won't open when I click on it.
Me: Oh right, what browser are you using?
Client: The one you sent me.
Me: *nrgh* -
Can you provide me a standard CSS template, like which includes all necessary mixins, extends, functions, etc. to start with a project?
There's so much incoherent information out there and I'm stuck only at the start of the project.2 -
A foolish choice
I have 2 partitions in one HDD that both have windows installed (dual booted), one for me and my younger brother. Earlier, I tried to rename his Windows folder (the one on the root) and I thought it will remove the dual boot and go straight to my OS.
But to my surprise, I can't boot to my OS either. Where did I go wrong? HELP!5 -
It took me 48 hours ( not continuously) to fix a bug by going through a cluster fuck code of multiple modules. Tracing the error through 5 or 6 layers. And u dont get error logs right away. You need to recreate that error and see the logs on a kubernetes pod. Just to find out the bug was a duplicate.
Yes jokes are on me. I fucked up by not checking for duplicate. I steered right away on that shit dipped bug like a hungry/zombie hound. Fuck me. -
Agh just started programming and having a tough time right now and have a final tomorrow =( anyone want to help me with some java problems =)? It would greatly be appreciated <3 They are pretty basic but I'm a rookie1
-
Since the 3rd day, I have been telling y'all but none of you listened to me.
I kept repeating that I am the dumbest person I know. Why didn't you believe me when I said it?
Remember, Booking feedback? They sent me another official rejection with additional feedback. Mind blown.
That feedback really helped me understand what was going wrong. And now today in an interview, I was asked a question and the interviewer said, "I am looking for a specific details like xyz for why you should be a Sr PM".
That's when it clicked me, that I have done stuff and I know things. It's just that I didn't understand the question and wasn't able to articulate and communicate well.
My dumbass just needs constant feedback to learn. How much I love feedback more than ever.
The feedback cycle is interesting too. When I was new, I hated it. Then started to realise the value of it.
Then it did felt bad in the very instance whenever I got one, but quickly I used to incorporate the changes.
And now, I am crave and desperately seek feedback. It only helps me improve.
Funnily, everyone gave inputs when I didn't want it. And now when I am hunting for it, no one is giving inputs. This is how life is.
Nonetheless, I am pretty impressed with Booking. Good people, nice vibes, and kickass culture for sure.4 -
Today I found this 😂😂
https://youtu.be/NATZy-ZqD7A
(I mean: YouTube found me after my previous rant: https://devrant.com/rants/2215801/...)1 -
Is it just me... Or is there like two different scrolling behaviours in the app on android? When I've for the blue theme with white text it seems really gittery when I'm first scrolling down rant comments or the main rants feed.. Then about halfway down it goes much smoother... No idea why...
-
I have been trying to figure out how this works for about a month now..
I tried asking everyone everywhere..also stackoverflow..now you guys are my last resort..can someone please help me decipher how is the following thing done?
https://bombayshirts.com/custom/...#2 -
So I’m very biased against JavaScript. However, beliefs need to be challenged. If you feel like it, convince me that this language is worth using as part of the tech stack.12
-
Writing my 2. exam tomorrow (1. one just slightly missed minimum of points)
in Algorithms and Data Structures... really want to succeed!
cuddling with my cat to reduce stress😌
wish me luck😅😓1 -
Alternative for Control board (Display)???
So I took out the monitor of my old laptop ,and I'm planning on using it as my new secondary monitor. BTW I'm from Nepal, and it is not possible to find any control board available in market for the spare LCD.
So could anyone suggests me with an alternative for the control board for my spare monitor?
Thanks in advance.2 -
i think you all know about YouTube and its super power "Recommended for You"... like when some stupid friend sends you a my little pony video and you just can't get rid of it... Well just a few minutes ago this friend of mine sent me some weird japanese video s**t with battleships and flying girls shooting at each other enjoying it...
Please send a prayer or two for me I'm going to need it2 -
can anyone guide me on developing ecommerce site? I m confused which part should be developed first?5
-
Oh, now I understand why my past self had some pain in the neck in front of his computer. Twas his future self (the latest version of me writing this post) strangling him for the terabyte of duplicates of so many shit spread around my external storages.
Over 1 Terabyte of duplicate data among the 2.5 Tb in use, in the 3.5 Tb of maximum storage I have.1 -
Client: I need to organize this data in my database, just let me create any folder, and folders inside folders. I mean, it is a database so you can create folders right?
Me: I'll see what I can do
Inner me: NO, F U, that's not easy, that's not how databases work, WTH is wrong with you4 -
Just noticed (not sure why it took me this long to check) an API is available (duh).
Wonder how many recruiter data harvesters are listening right now 🤑 -
!rant
Developing a website for mobile feels like a pain the back to me. Can anyone recommend any good tutorials?
I can design basic sites for desktop screens but I have problem making them work for mobile. I don't know the right approach. Should I add a bunch of @media queries? Or should I use relative measures like em? It's so confusing.
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